"An' just what the hell d'you want?" We were standing around the back of the kitchens where my expert on all things culinary had agreed to meet, unfortunately Glasgow was not one to give information at a drop of a hat, she's what you would call a near-tsundere, that is to say her psychological opposites were not as far apart as most tsunderes, sure she could be cautious, but once she knew that you weren't up to any mischief then she could relax out of her 'maid mode'. She's always like this to start with, and we usually have to find a way to win her over, luckily for us we know her hobbies and her tastes.
"If I remember correctly, you have to wait another ten weeks." Glasgow pulled a funny face, the type of face where they knew what you were talking about but pretended that they didn't. My partner of course, being fairly new to our contacts, just stood there perplexed.
"H-huh?" the maid stuttered.
"But as it just so happens, I went to visit Akashi's shop today…" I moved the bag I was hiding in front of me, "And it just so happens…" I put my hand in the bag and pulled out the article in question, "She had volume seven of Forbidden Ninja Maid Love in stock, and I decided to buy this on impulse considering it is the last one in stock, that is until your subscription of this volume gets posted to this base a good couple of weeks after it hits shelves." Glasgow again pulled a funny face, sweat starting to run down her face, caught between getting the latest volume of her favourite manga or following orders instructed by both the head maid and the queen to continue with their work. She slowly reached out with her hand towards the magazine, but I moved it away out of her reach and instead handed her a list of food items that had disappeared from the Dragon Empery stores. She gave a murderous glare.
"What d'you want?"
"Is there anything on this list that could be used as ingredients for other dishes?" Glasgow sighed and snatched the piece of paper out of my hand and began scrolling through the list, eventually she handed the sheet back before giving her verdict.
"No, it a'int possible to make anything with these as ingredients, they'll already cooked items, it's like taking the inside of a scotch egg and y'using it to make a cake." I scratched my head.
"In non-culinary terms…?" Glasgow groaned.
"It's like taking the shells from yuh main gun and usin' it to beat a siren to death."
"Ah, right, got it, possible, but impractical." Glasgow gave a nod then practically snatched the manga from my hand as soon as it was in reach. She was practically giddy over the sight of it.
"Ach, at last, I wonder if Yuri will ask Monica to join her on the school trip?"
"Ah, Glasgow." The manga loving maid gave a yelp and tried her best to hide the merchandise behind her back, not that it would do any good against the eagle eyes of the two maids in front of us; the head maid Belfast, who could spot a flea on top of a pin head in a pile of needles across the other side of the base, and Sheffield, who's trigger fingers were faster than logic itself, needless to say these two are a detective's worst nightmare. "There is still much work to be done, and you're not on break for another 5 hours."
"U-uh…of course." Glasgow tried to side-step past the observant maids, but they were having none of it, Sheffield grabbing the manga from behind Glasgow's back.
"I'll be seizing this…" Sheffield paused to find the correct words to describe the risqué contraband that she held in her hand "…thing, until the end of the day, or possibly the end of the week depending on how good I'm feeling."
"O-of course~" Glasgow groaned before walking slowly back towards the kitchens, upset at the fact that the best part of today had been taken away from her. That just left the two of us facing the two maids, okay then time for some damage control, I knew full well that it was a case of when Belfast finds out as opposed to if, and once she did there was no denying the fact that she would inform the queen of our actions.
"So then, to what do we owe the pleasure?" Belfast asked.
"Well, we…" I stopped Myoukou there, before she revealed too much.
"We were just asking Glasgow about some advice…" it was a half-truth so I figured that it would take Belfast a bit longer to figure out our intentions. The head maid gave a 'hmm'.
"And just what was it that you were asking?" asked Belfast.
"Some culinary advice." I replied immediately.
"And you didn't think to ask the head maid?" Sheffield asked.
"Well, we knew how busy she was, being responsible for the running of the Royal Maids, so we didn't want to disturb her busy schedule with such trivial matters." Sheffield gave a 'I don't believe you, but I can't prove it yet' look. "Besides which, we have what we came for, so we won't disturb you any further." And with that we made our way from the Royal Navy dorms, trying our best not to seem like we were trying to walk away from there as fast as possible.
It was getting towards dusk, the bright orange of the falling sun dimming out and instead being replaced by a grey-blue sky. We were in the Central Plaza, making our way towards the canteen for tea. "What was the point of that?" Myoukou asked.
"I wanted to know if any of these items could be used as ingredients for other dishes, apparently not. Which means the culprit didn't steal these items to use, but instead most likely eating them."
"So we're back to square one then? Urgh, and we still have no idea of the culprit's identity." A loud 'Ahem' came from behind us, I tried not to groan, as we both turned towards the newly arrived person, it was trigger happy.
"Sheffield." I said, trying not to sound like she was the last person I wished to speak to.
"Miss Indianapolis, Miss Myoukou." The maid greeted.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"Try not to sound like you're the first ship in your class to learn how to speak when addressing me, Miss Indianapolis." I wanted to punch her. "It's fairly obvious that you are currently working on a case is it not? That is regarding the disappearance of food from the Dragon Empery dorms, correct?"
"How-" Myoukou started.
"Personal feelings aside, I believe it is only right that you should be privy to this information."
"What information?" I asked.
"We too have been raided by culinary thieves."
"Wait, what!" my partener exclaimed.
"And how did Belfast miss that?" I asked.
"They were only small amounts, a couple of milligrams here and there, but when added up, there are a few things missing, the amounts are so miniscule that not even Belfast has spotted them, and even she makes mistakes, all be it, rarely."
"And why are you telling us this?" I questioned.
"Although I despise your activities, I am, in the end, a maid, it is my duty to keep the smooth running of order in effect, and as such, who know what the theft of a small number of ingredients will lead to and the consequences that it will bring?" As loath as I was to admit it, Sheffield had given us some valuable information.
"So what-"
"Thank you Sheffield, you can go now." Sheffield gave a humph before walking back and melting into the shadows.
"Why-"
"Didn't I ask about what was stolen? There was no need, I think I know who's behind all this, but we're going to need proof."
"So…where does that leave us?"
"How about jail?" someone shouted from behind us, we turned around to see Queen Elizabeth and Warspite on the other side of the plaza.
"I keep telling you there isn't a case to answer here, the Dragon Empery's food was eaten by a mouse, so stop questioning my maids or I'll have you arrested for harassment!" We had tried our best to explain the situation to the queen between her rants, but she was a rather stubborn person and would not let us speak a word until she had her say.
"Um, well that may be the case your majesty, but we believe that there is reason to believe that it isn't the case." My partner responded.
"Oh, pray tell of your reasoning?" Warspite asked.
"Their hole was too big." I said, "And too smooth."
…
"Hole…" the queen said, how did she not know about what I was talking about, we just stood there for a good couple of seconds, before the queen's face started to turn bright red. "YOU BLOODY PERVERT, I'LL HAVE YOU EXECUTED!" the queen screamed running off towards the Royal Navy dorms, luckily for us she has Warspite at her side to act as common sense and reasoning.
"YOUR MAJESTY, WAIT, THIS IS ALL PROBABLY JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING!" she yelled running after the queen. It was already dark by now, we weren't going to get anything else done for today, I turned towards my partner, who seemed to be looking a little pale.
"Is something up?" I asked.
"Y-you could have phrased that differently…" I didn't get what she was getting at, what other hole was there? I wouldn't matter though, this case had to take precedent, although not until tomorrow.
"You go on ahead, there's something I need to get from my room."
"Alright Indianapolis senpai, see you tomorrow!" Myoukou rushed off towards the canteen, while I headed back towards my room over at the Eagle Union Dorms. Because I had spent the majority of the day out on the case, my sister Portland would no doubt have sat down and gone through her photograph collection of me, to cope with her withdrawal symptoms, as such there was a good chance that she would probably be still in our room since this morning and would have no idea of what the time was. I stopped for a moment, and sure enough not half a second later I could feel the nuzzle of a gun at the back of my head.
"I'm getting close to the truth, aren't I?"
…
"And you want me to stop, or you'll shoot me in the head."
…
"Fine, I'll leave this case alone."
…
I could feel the gun leave the back of my head, I gave a heavy sigh and carried on walking, there was no point in turning around, I knew that they would have disappeared already.
"SOMEONE PULLED A GUN ON YOU?" Myoukou shouted.
"Yes."
"AND THEY THREATENED TO SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD?"
"Yes." It was the next day, and me and my partner had returned to the office, to plan our next move.
"Did you see who it was?"
"No."
"But…" Hornet's voice came from behind the piles of paperwork that was still somehow not getting any smaller.
"But the culprit wielded a triple 152mm type XXIII main gun."
"WAIT, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?" Myoukou shouted.
"We practised identifying guns from just the feel on the back of our heads, and the noise the click makes." Hornet stated mater-of-factly. Myoukou just stood there for a moment.
"Okay then… hey by the way, Hornet senpai, where's Wasp?" Hornet groaned.
"She bailed out on me, she said she had a carrier exercise to partake in, but I know for a fact that no such exercise had been ordered, at least, not from the paperwork I've already signed off on. So much for half-sisters hey?" Myoukou looked concerned.
"Are you sure you don't want us to assist you with that?"
"I'm sure Myoukou, just you worry about wrapping this case up."
"Alright Hornet-san." Myoukou turned back towards me "So what do we need to do today, Indianapolis?"
"Oh, well I promised my assailant that I wouldn't get involved with the case."
"WHAT?" my partner exclaimed.
"But that doesn't mean I can't follow up seemingly unrelated leads."
"Clever girl." Hornet muttered.
"So, what do you want me to do Indianapolis senpai?"
"I want you to check the bins around the dorms, preferably around the Sakura Empire dorms, but also check out the bins around the Eagle union and Ironblood dorms."
"At once senpai!" Myoukou said before exiting the office.
"So…what do you plan to do?" Asked Hornet.
"Well, I feel the urge to do a spot of DIY."