Chapter 18
"Ya sure you're good?"
Lucy smiled up at Vin. The day had been good. He had bought a box lunch from the café and taken her out of town for a ride immediately after breakfast. They had spent the day far from town, no worries about Eli Joe finding either one of them, and returned as the sun went down.
"I'm good," she said, not able to express how much the time with her brother had meant to her.
Vin opened the door to her room above the saloon for her. "I'll check on Gal again before I turn in. You need anything?"
Lucy shook her head quickly. She would never ask Vin for anything. Not after everything he was already doing for her.
"Alright then. See ya in the mornin'."
"Good night, Vin." Lucy closed the door with a quiet click and leaned against it with a contented sigh.
It had been more than a good day. Nearly perfect.
Outside someone shouted and Lucy reflexively jumped at the sound. She closed her eyes for a breath. Reminded herself she was safe.
But the room next door was silent. She was alone on the second floor of the saloon.
A pitiful meow reminded her she wasn't quite alone. She knelt down and picked up the kitten. It's tiny sandpaper tongue licked at her thumb, making her smile. Until there was another call from outside.
Lucy wished the town would quiet down for the night. She heard Vin's voice and went to the window, cautiously peering out from behind the curtain. She saw her brother talking to the men, clearly directing them to head on out for the night. When one went to argue, Vin shifted his weight, resting a hand on the handle of his gun. Both men hurried away without comment and Vin continued on his way toward the livery, his gait easy and unconcerned. Lucy wished she could be as unflappable as Vin.
She didn't have any night clothes to change into, so she settled for taking off her boots and running a brush through her hair before rebraiding it.
The sounds outside her window started to die down and Lucy told herself it was fine. Nothing to worry about. She should sleep.
But every unfamiliar sound had her jumping again.
The kitten stepped in the water dish, making the tin bowl clatter slightly, then rattle more when it tipped.
The kitten jumped back at the noise and splash of water.
"It's ok," Lucy soothed under her breath, picking up the scrap of fur. She stroked the little animal before setting him back on the floor and retrieving the bowl. She'd have to refill it in the morning.
She set the bowl down again and the kitten approached it, batting at it, making noise as it slid across the wood floorboards.
With a sigh, Lucy got out of bed again. She'd set it in the hall where the kitten couldn't get to it during the night. She slipped her feet into her boots against the chill of the floorboards.
She listened at the door first, more out of habit than anything else, opening it when she didn't hear anyone out there. As soon as the door was open, the kitten shot through, a flash of black fur.
With a startled cry, Lucy hurried after it, just in time to see the kitten tumble its way down the stairs.
Lucy went quickly down the stairs, hoping she could catch the kitten before she was spotted by any patrons in the bar, or worse, the kitten got injured underfoot.
She saw it streak across the bar just as she made it to the last stair. She kept her eyes on her kitten, not wanting anything to happen to him.
He made it almost to the door when he crashed into a pair of black boots.
A hand reached down and picked him up.
Lucy lifted her gaze up to meet familiar green eyes.
"Lose someone?" Chris asked.
"You're here," Lucy said, her surprise slipping out before she caught herself and lowered her gaze. She twisted her fingers together, waiting for the ridicule at her statement of the obvious.
"Awfully quiet on the ranch," Chris said.
Lucy dared a look at him, but he was looking down at the cat.
"Were you turning in for the night?" Chris asked, looking around the bar. "Thought I saw Vin headed toward the livery."
"I did already. I mean, I was. Turned in," Lucy said. She took a breath, trying to pull herself together. "The kitten got out. I followed him."
Chris nodded as if her unsteady stammering made sense.
Lucy held her hands out, offering to take the kitten. "I can take him out of your way."
Chris paused, then met her eyes again. "You want a drink first?" he asked.
Lucy blinked up at him. But the idea of being by his side was more comforting than the solitude of her room, even if his nearness set unsettling flutterings off in her stomach.
"Alright," she said.
Chris took the kitten over to Buck and Ezra's table. "Watch him. He's wiley," he said, depositing the black ball of fur onto the table in front of Buck.
Lucy let Chris lead her toward the stools in front of the bar, keeping her eye on the kitten with Buck.
Buck grinned widely at the kitten as it started to bat at a poker chip. Buck sent the chip sliding across the table and laughed as the kitten chased it, Ezra catching the adventurous feline before he could fall off the edge of the table.
Chris motioned to Inez for a drink.
Lucy perched on the edge of a stool while Inez set a shot glass and bottle of whiskey in front of Chris.
Lucy's heart lurched at the sight of the full bottle. She swallowed hard and kept her eyes trained on the glass of sarsaparilla Inez put in front of her.
"Thanks," she whispered to Inez.
Chris poured a shot for himself, but instead of tossing it all back as she expected, he took a small drink.
Lucy kept her eye on the glass, but the level didn't change drastically. She glanced at Chris, wondering if maybe he wouldn't get drunk. And if maybe he wouldn't turn mean if he did.
Chris caught her looking at him and lifted an eyebrow. "You want a drink?" he asked.
Lucy startled at the question. Eli Joe had never asked her to drink with him. He had wanted her around when he drank so she could fetch whatever he needed, and so he could take out his anger before passing out, but mostly he wanted her out of his way.
Chris slid the shot glass towards her.
Lucy picked it up and lifted to her lips before pausing and lowering it.
"Do you think it will make me mean?" she asked seriously.
Chris let out a sound that sounded like a bark of laughter before he coughed over it. Lucy's brows knit, not sure what that meant.
"I don't think there's enough whiskey in the Territory to turn you mean," Chris said.
Lucy nodded, taking his word for it. She lifted the glass again. This time she took a long drink.
She puckered her lips at the burn that went all the way down. "Ugh," she said before she could catch herself. "I don't know how anyone can drink that."
But Chris didn't look offended. What looked suspiciously like the hint of a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.
He picked up the bottle and poured some into her glass of sarsaparilla. "Try that," he offered.
Lucy took a tentative sip then looked to him in surprise. "It's good," she said.
Chris took his own shot glass back and took a drink as Lucy took another long gulp.
She let the warmth seep through her. She wasn't entirely sure if it was the whiskey or Chris' presence next to her, but she relaxed on her seat, even offering Chris a shy smile when he looked her way.
She picked up the whiskey bottle to pour some more.
#
Vin left the livery stable. Lucy's horse was still skittish, but seemed to be calming some. He wondered if the same could be said for Lucy. His sister had seemed almost at ease during their day together. And then she had smiled at him, a hint of the old Lucy coming through at the end of the day. It made him hope she could be ok, that after he settled things with Eli Joe, he could find a place for her in town and she could rebuild her life, this time without Vin abandoning her.
He let out a heavy sigh. He didn't know how he'd ever forgive himself for leaving Lucy behind. He had thought he was doing what was right, getting himself away from the threat. And instead, he had left Lucy alone with the threat.
His steps slowed. He debated heading back into the saloon for a drink. But with Buck there, he figured he'd be pulled into conversation he didn't feel up to.
He glanced around the quiet street. Down the street, lights were on in the newspaper office. Vin headed that way, telling himself he was just checking in on Mary to make sure everything was alright this late at night.
His boots thudded dully on the boardwalk outside the Clarion office. He knocked on the door.
The shade that was pulled over the window in the door moved slightly and then Vin could hear the locks clicking out of place. He felt a measure of relief to know Mary kept the doors locked.
"Vin," she said. "Is something wrong? Is Lucy alright?"
Vin shook his head. He should have realized turning up on Mary's doorstep at this hour would raise concerns.
"Nah. Just saw the lights on. Wanted to be sure you were ok."
Mary visibly relaxed at his reassurance everything was fine. "Yes, I'm fine. Just working late. I didn't realize how late it had gotten."
Vin took a step back. "If you're alright then…" he touched a finger to the brim of his hat.
"Vin?" Mary's even voice stopped his retreat. "Would you like to come in? I could use the company."
Vin hesitated, not wanting to disturb Mary if she was working. She shifted, holding the door open wider.
Vin gave in to the invitation.
He liked the newspaper office. It was never messy, but always well-used, with a clear order to the equipment and stacks of paper.
Mary moved a sheaf of papers off a chair, but Vin stayed standing, studying the front page of last week's newspaper. He couldn't make out what most of it said, but found it impressive Mary gathered enough stories from other sources and wrote her own to fill a weekly paper.
Mary went back to her desk, leaning against the edge of it, her crystalline eyes watching him with sympathy.
"Went ridin' with Lucy today," Vin said.
Mary tilted her head. "That sounds nice."
Vin nodded, returning his gaze to the paper on the desk. "I…" he started. He cleared his throat. "I wish things were different. That I could look after her in town." He swallowed hard, his words quiet. "Ain't right to have to send family away to keep 'em safe."
"No. It's not," Mary agreed softly.
Vin looked up quickly. He saw the lines between Mary's eyes and winced. Of course Mary knew what it was like to send someone away for their own safety. "I'm sorry, Mary," he said. "I shouldn't a' said nothin'." It had been over a year since she had sent her son to live with his grandparents, all the while hoping for the day the town would be stable enough for her to bring him home to her.
Mary reached over to him and took his hand. Her hand was warm, her touch sure. "It's nice having someone who understands."
He might not be the most educated man, or the most well-spoken, but he did understand. He knew the guilt at not being enough to keep someone you loved safe, and the missing them when you couldn't keep them with you.
He saw the loneliness, the grief, in her eyes, sure it was mirrored in his own. And for a moment, he wasn't as alone.
He wasn't sure if he moved toward Mary, or she moved toward him, but they both seemed to realize how close they were at the same time.
Feeling his neck flush with embarrassment, Vin took a step back while Mary turned away and straightened an already straight pile of paper.
"So Lucy is doing well at Chris'?" Mary said, her voice businesslike.
Vin shoved his hands in his pockets and moved farther away to examine a photograph of Mary seated with Billy standing next to her, his arm resting on her lap.
"As well as anyone could," he said. "She's been through a lot."
"I can't imagine," Mary said. She looked up and met Vin's eyes. The sympathy there again gave him some comfort, the first he'd found in this entire situation.
"But at least she's with Chris. Good to have friends you can trust. Know he wouldn't let nothin' happen to her."
#
Chris watched Lucy start to topple off her bar stool. He quickly gained his feet and caught her, his hands on her arms to keep her upright.
She blinked and looked up at him. "I think I've had enough to drink."
Chris bit back the curve of his lips that threatened. "Reckon you have," he agreed.
Her blue eyes looked up at him and then her brow furrowed as she studied him. "I don't think you'd hurt me," she said, sounding puzzled by the realization.
Chris fought against any reaction that might startle her. He kept his face neutral. "I wouldn't," he said. And, though he knew he would never hurt a woman, and he could have promised Lucy that on the day he went through the motions of a marriage ceremony with her, now that he knew her it was different. Knowing her, her gentle nature and what she had lived through with her sham of a marriage to Eli Joe…he not only wouldn't hurt her, he'd do whatever it took to make sure she knew she was safe.
Lucy swayed slightly and Chris kept his grip gentle, but steadied her again.
"Hey, Larabee," Buck called from his seat across the nearly empty saloon. "Everything ok over there?"
Chris looked over to see his long time friend grinning with a knowing smile. Ezra looked amused. Chris glared at both of them and Buck lifted his hands in a sign of surrender, indicating he was backing off.
"You should call it a night," Chris said, turning back to Lucy.
Lucy was still studying him with those unnerving blue eyes. Chris took his hands off her arms and waited a beat to make sure she was steady on her own and went over to Buck and Ezra. He glowered at both of them and they wisely remained silent, though Buck's mustache twitched with amusement. Without a word, Chris took the kitten from Ezra and went back to Lucy.
He stayed near her side as she navigated the stairs and down the dim hall upstairs. He opened the door to her room for her, intending to give her the kitten and retreat to his own room.
Lucy stumbled across the threshold and put out a hand to catch her balance on the bed, tumbling forward and landing unceremoniously on the mattress.
Chris hesitated. Lucy tried to push up to sitting and managed to slide halfway off the mattress.
Against his better judgment, Chris entered her room. He set the kitten down and closed the door behind himself to keep the kitten from another escape, then turned his attention back to Lucy. She nearly slid to the floor and Chris caught her and got her balanced on her feet again. Lucy looked down at his hands on her arms.
"I could…" Lucy's brow wrinkled like she was searching for words. "I could like being married if it was to someone like you."
Everything in Chris stopped. It had never occurred to him to have a real marriage again. Not after losing Sarah and Adam.
But then Lucy was talking again, her words slightly slurred, but her voice as quiet as it usually was. And what she said had Chris focused on her, thoughts of the past pushed aside for the moment.
"I didn't like being married to Eli Joe," she said as if confessing something shameful.
"Don't blame you for that," Chris responded. He tried guiding her toward the bed, intending to get her settled for the night before she said anything more and made him lose any sort of solid footing he may have.
"You going to name that cat?" he asked, trying to shift her focus.
She surprised him by shaking her head no. But then she was sinking down onto the bed and Chris found himself next to her. She made her hands into fists then looked down at them and released them.
"I had a puppy. Back in Texas," she said, still looking down at her hands.
Chris sat without saying anything, waiting to hear if this had something to do with her kitten, or if the whiskey was loosening the connections between her thoughts.
"I found him. Kind of like I found the kitten," she said. "He was alone and shivering because it was winter. I named him Patches." Her hands started to shake and she fisted them again. A heavy knot settled in Chris' stomach as he waited for whatever Lucy had to say next. "Eli Joe got mad at me. I don't even remember what…" her voice trailed off. And then she tightened her fists violently, the skin stretching across her knuckles and blanching a harsh white. "He killed Patches." Her hands trembled violently. "I didn't…I couldn't…" Her eyes fixed somewhere beyond her fisted hands, but Chris knew she wasn't seeing anything in her room. "It was too much." Her words still slurred, but Chris didn't know if she was talking to him anymore, lost in the memory somewhere in her mind. "I got a rope. I went to the barn."
Chris wanted to tell her to stop. That she didn't have to say anything more, but his throat was dry, listening to what she had been driven to. His gut twisted, knowing what was coming.
"There were these rafters." She motioned vaguely like the barn rafters were above her now. The movement tilted her balance and Chris caught her again. Lucy didn't seem to notice. Chris wanted to tell her to stop. He didn't want to hear this. He didn't want to think about the desperation Lucy must have felt, the horror of losing her puppy to Eli Joe's cruelty.
"I made a loop at the end of the rope with a slip knot. Vin taught me how to tie some knots," she murmured.
Chris' own hands clenched.
"I tied the end of the rope around the rafter and put the loop around my neck. I just…I just didn't want to hurt anymore. I had lost Vin, my horse, and now my puppy. I wanted it to be over."
"But you didn't," Chris finally rasped out, needing to distance himself from what Lucy had almost done.
"I did," she said. "But Eli Joe found me. He cut the rope and dragged me into the house. Made sure I never risked trying that again."
Rage toward the man he had never met burned like a branding iron, searing any rational thoughts. Chris fought to regain control, get his expression back to something closer to neutral before Lucy looked his way and he scared her.
The kitten came over and batted a paw at Lucy's boot. Lucy blinked and looked like she was returning to the present. "I'm not naming the kitten," she said in summary.
Chris studied her. Her fine jaw line that was clenched, determined to make it through whatever Eli Joe may level at her next. Her blue eyes hazy with drink, but still filled with grief at the memories.
"Then I will," Chris said. He looked down at the kitten, black as coal. He picked him up in one hand, eliciting an indignant mewl from the animal. "Soot," Chris said decisively. "He looks like a chimney sweep covered in soot." He held the kitten out toward Lucy.
Lucy looked from him to the kitten. She took the fluffy black kitten in her hands.
"Eli Joe ain't gonna get your kitten," Chris said firmly. Or you, he added silently.
"Soot," she whispered, running a finger over the kitten's head. The hint of a sad smile played across her lips. The kitten—Soot—squirmed and she set him gently on the floor. When she straightened back up, she was closer to Chris. He waited for her to pull away, but she didn't. He held steady while she searched his face for whatever it was she needed to see.
"I…" she said, that furrow returning to her brow and her eyes meeting his, holding his. "I think I'm going to be sick," she said.
Chris lunged across the room to grab the basin on the top of her dresser, getting it to her just in time for her to lean over it and lose whatever whiskey and sarsaparilla had made her speak so freely.
With a groan, Lucy leaned back. Chris set the basin aside and went back to the chest of drawers for a towel and the pitcher of water that stood there. He got the cloth wet and handed it to Lucy.
She wiped at her face, her lips and then leaned back against the wall.
Chris took the towel from her and tossed it aside. He took Lucy's shoulders and carefully slid her over to straighten her out in the bed. He looked at her worn boots and slipped them off her feet, setting them on the floor near her bed. When he looked back at her, her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and even.
Chris wasn't sure how to carry what she had shared. He had imagined it had been bad for her with Eli Joe, but had never realized how desperate she had gotten, how bad it really was. He felt the weight of his gun at his hip and wanted the opportunity to use it. Against Eli Joe. Soon. He flexed his hands. Or maybe he'd use his fists, make him fight someone his own size.
Lucy stirred and her eyes opened. In her inebriated state she looked more vulnerable. "You're going?" she asked, sounding like she feared being alone.
Chris moved to pull the covers up over her. He sat down on the edge of the bed again. "Not goin' anywhere," he said. He sat there until her eyes fell shut again.
And, heaven help him, he didn't intend to go anywhere away from her side as long as she needed him.
#