Chapter 19
Lucy had no idea what was wrong. She felt awful. She started to roll over and realized quickly any movement was a mistake. She held back a moan, sure that any noise would break the dam holding back the contents of her stomach.
Her mattress shifted, in spite of her holding completely still and that's when Lucy felt the weight near her legs.
Her eyes flew open—a mistake as she quickly closed them again against the piercing light and spinning room that greeted her.
But she had seen the familiar figure seated at the foot of her bed, leaned back against the wall, shifting to get a look at her as she stirred.
"You hurtin'?" came Chris Larabee's voice, quiet in the stillness of her room.
Hurting, queasy, and confused. Lucy couldn't figure out what he was doing there. She risked squinting open her eyes.
"I had too much…" she started.
His lips twitched in humor, in spite of the concern that deepened the lines around his eyes. "Too much sarsaparilla," he said.
Lucy felt her own lips threaten to curve, but the piercing pain behind her eyes got the better of her. She lifted a hand to her forehead, still trying to get her bearings.
"I'm sorry," she said, her stomach roiling from even the pitiful attempt to talk.
"Nothin' to apologize for," he said. "You need the basin?"
Lucy started to shake her head, but the movement finally stirred the unsettled contents of her stomach.
Chris was there, holding the basin for her while she retched. Lucy registered that his free hand was holding back her hair at the nape of her neck, keeping the tendrils that had escaped her braid from falling forward.
The warm skin of his hand brushed at her neck and Lucy's brain was too sluggish to register anything beyond the comfort of the touch.
Lucy gave a last dry heave and sat back, taking a deep breath through her nose. She felt the mattress shift again and realized Chris was going to take the basin and set it aside.
"I can get that," she said quickly, though she couldn't manage to gather any sort of energy behind the words. She moved quickly to get the basin from him, but nearly tipped over with the way the room started to spin.
"Stay put," he said.
Lucy groaned, but obeyed, keeping an eye on him to look for any sign of annoyance with her. She watched him set the basin aside, and bring a damp towel to her. The movement was familiar.
Another groan. They had done this same routine last night. Her cheeks flamed in shame and she tried to wave away his help and apologize again.
"I'm so sorry. You don't have to tend to me." And then she realized he had tended her last night, and she had talked. The memories made their way through the fog dulling her senses. She took the towel in trembling hands and cleaned her face. "Did I…I talked too much last night," she acknowledged. Hopefully claiming her fault would make it less of an annoyance to him.
"Didn't think that," he said, though his eyes darkened.
Lucy tried to get her thoughts straight, to figure out what she had talked about. Patches. She had told him about Patches. Her eyes flew to him again, this time in alarm. Had she told him…?
"Good to hear you talk," he said. "Get to know more about your life."
Lucy studied him through the glaring early morning sunlight that came directly through her window. He didn't look annoyed at all.
"You need to get something to eat. Some strong coffee."
Lucy held back a groan at the thought of anything in her stomach.
"I'll go get something. What do you want?" he asked, taking the towel from her.
"Please don't," she said, a feeling of panic rising at the thought of him being forced to get her a meal. She was his wife—even if only for her own protection right now—and she should be tending to him.
But before she could tell him that, there was a knock on her door. Lucy winced at the sound, too loud for her already pounding head.
Lucy froze, knowing it was Vin. She felt Chris looking at her, but she didn't answer her brother.
Would she be able to hide how incredibly hung over she was? The thought of Vin finding out she had been drunk was too much. He had already been so ready to excuse her from any blame with Eli Joe, and yet she just messed up again.
Another knock and Lucy looked over at Chris, his clothes rumpled from spending the night in her room. Her cheeks heated. What would Vin think of her for that?
Chris wasn't saying anything and Lucy got the sense he was waiting on her, giving her the space to make a decision. Lucy shook her head slightly at him and he nodded, remaining silent.
Lucy didn't move until she heard Vin's boots heading away, towards the stairs.
"He can't—can't see me like—" Lucy started to say, but then her stomach rebelled again and Chris was reaching for the basin.
This time she had nothing left to vomit up and the dry heaves left her trembling.
"He'll come back," Lucy said. "To see if I'm awake." The thought of disappointing Vin after all he had done to make her fresh start work in this new town with him left her shaking worse than the aftermath of her evening of drinking.
"Come on," Chris said decisively. He picked up the basket with the kitten in one hand and moved his other hand slowly to Lucy's elbow to help her stand.
Lucy fought to stay upright and not sag against him.
"We'll get you some space, have Buck tell Vin he saw you head out on a walk early this morning."
The sigh of relief that left her, made Lucy even more weak kneed. She nodded, a bad choice since it set things spinning faster.
She let Chris guide her to the door, open it and look out, then close it behind them.
Lucy's steps slowed to a pause and she looked up at Chris. She forced herself to meet his eyes, unnerved by the act.
"Thank you," she whispered.
He gave a short nod of his head, and guided her on again.
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Vin was glad Lucy was sleeping in. In the weeks since she had been staying out on Chris' ranch, she had started to look more well rested. The dark circles were gone from under her eyes, she seemed a little less jumpy, and her skin had lost the wan complexion she had arrived in town with, replaced with a healthier shade.
He headed back out of the still empty saloon, and back out onto the street. He'd get some breakfast and check back on Lucy then. See if she wanted to take a ride outside of town. As he passed the newspaper office, he had the thought that maybe he should see if Mary wanted to join them. She worked harder than any female he had ever known, running the town's paper.
But then he shook his head. He wasn't sure that Mary would be free to spend a long morning away from the paper. Even if he thought it might be good for the widowed mother to take a breather.
Vin veered away from the café, back the way he came, toward the livery. Maybe he'd just go for a ride on his own now. Clear his head from the thoughts that seemed to be coming from nowhere.
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Chris got Lucy to the church. He pushed open the door at the side, avoiding the main doors.
"Josiah," he called out, then cut off his shout when he saw Lucy wincing in pain at the loud noise. "Sorry," he said, lowering his voice to a near whisper.
She looked up at him in surprise, then blinked at the movement and swayed. Chris shifted his hold on the basket holding Lucy's kitten and caught her. He felt her muscles tighten under his light grip, but she didn't pull away. Making sure she was steady, he led her through the door. She did flinch when she saw Josiah standing there, moving closer to Chris.
Chris looked down at her, feeling something long dead stir in his chest at her unspoken move to him for safety. He forced himself to ignore the feeling and
"Need a place to sit a spell. Let Lucy get over a rough night."
Josiah gave a nod and motioned them both into the church.
"Tanner can't know she's here," Chris said.
Josiah's brow lifted, but he didn't ask, just nodded.
Chris passed across the edge of the dais, and headed for the door at the front of the church that led to Josiah's private quarters.
He set the basket down on the floor and motioned Lucy toward the narrow cot.
He didn't miss the relief on her face when she sank down on to the straw tick. Chris studied her. He had seen Buck in rough shape after too much drink, same with JD, but neither one of them had looked as pitiful as Lucy did. Guilt burned at his gut.
"Shouldn't have let you have so much last night," he said, frowning.
Lucy glanced up at him, fear on her face. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I don't mean to be a burden. I never should have—"
"You ain't a burden," Chris said sharply, not wanting her to start blaming herself for him not doing his job of protecting her.
Lucy flinched back at his tone and Chris took a step back, not wanting to scare her worse.
"I shoulda known you couldn't hold whiskey," he said. "Don't know what I was thinking." And that was what gnawed at him. He hadn't been thinking. He had just been enjoying the time with Lucy. Seeing her blue eyes sparkle with humor, having her next to him without being on edge. And she was paying the price for that today.
"I don't regret it," she ventured quietly. She glanced up at him.
Chris met her eyes. He felt some of the tension he carried unwind. Maybe he didn't regret it too much either.
"Stay put. I'll see where your brother is. Bring some coffee back for you."
Lucy started to nod, then seemed to think better of the movement, and settled back onto the narrow mattress.
Chris left her there, closing the door with only a small click behind him.
"I'll be back soon," Chris said to Josiah. He glanced over at the small stove that heated the building in the winter months and saw nothing on small cook top. "You want anything?"
"I wouldn't object to some flapjacks," Josiah said.
Chris nodded and headed toward the door.
He headed toward the hotel where Buck rented a room by the month.
He knocked on the door, then winced, hoping he wasn't going to find anyone but Buck there.
Buck pulled open the door, shirt hanging open, but no one in the bed behind him.
"Chris?" Buck asked. "Something wrong? Is it Lucy?" He grabbed for his gun belt and started buckling it around his waist
Chris shook his head. "Need you to make sure Vin doesn't worry over Lucy. Tell him she went out for a walk. She'll be back later."
Buck slowed his movements, but finished fastening his belt and started buttoning up his shirt. "Did she go out for a walk?" Buck asked.
Chris didn't answer and Buck took that as an answer in itself.
"You plannin' to tell me what's goin' on?"
Chris looked at his long time friend. "She had too much last night."
Buck's lips twitched beneath his mustache.
"She doesn't want her brother to know."
Buck nodded. "'Course not. He might not take kindly to his sister drinking whiskey till all hours with you."
Chris bristled. "I don't care if Tanner knows. I ain't hiding. But she's worried about letting him down." And this was one thing Chris could make easier for Lucy, so he would.
Buck sobered then. "Nothin' wrong with you enjoying your time with her," he said.
Chris shook his head. "I'm protecting her. For Vin." He left Buck standing in the door to the hotel room and headed toward the stairs. He would get breakfast, get Lucy in better shape, and make sure she found Vin. That's all. He was making sure things were easier for Lucy. She had been through enough.
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Lucy kept the blanket over her face, shielding the sun coming in. She felt a small point of pressure against the blanket and risked a peak from under the scratchy wool blanket.
Soot stared at her, then pressed his nose forward and tickled Lucy's cheek with it.
Lucy stirred enough to reach a hand out to her kitten, smiling when his rough tongue scratched against her palm.
She heard movement outside the door and froze. She could hear the heavy steps of Josiah moving around the church.
Pressing her lips together, and this time prepared for the room to spin, she pushed up to sitting. She pulled the kitten onto her lap and stared at the closed door, listening to the big man moving around.
She looked down at the kitten as if he would give her encouragement. Biting her lower lip and feeling her shoulders tense, Lucy stood. It wasn't right for her to be taking over Josiah's private quarters. And he was another one of the men Vin trusted with his life. With her life.
Lucy didn't want to keep letting Vin down. Making an effort to keep her fingers from gripping the kitten too tightly, she made her way to the door, pausing to lean against it and slow the spinning of the room. It was better than it had been earlier.
She slowly pushed the door open.
Josiah stopped midway across the sanctuary and glanced at her. He gave her a smile, balancing a heavy bucket in each hand.
"Feeling some better, Miss?" he asked.
Lucy nodded. She took a tentative step out of the doorway. "Thank you," she said. "For the—for letting me stay here." She wasn't sure if she had managed to get enough volume for her voice to carry to him, but he nodded.
"Gets mighty quiet here on my own. I enjoy the company."
Lucy pressed her lips together, not sure what she was supposed to do. She looked around the church that was clearly a work in progress, thankful her stomach was more settled, even if her head still ached and she was more than a little shaky on her feet. She saw a broom in the corner and set Soot down gently on his feet, heading toward the broom.
Josiah kept moving, taking scrap wood and crumbling plaster out the door and returning for more.
She kept her eyes fixed on the floor as she swept, but made sure she was always aware of where Josiah was moving, moving accordingly to keep him on the opposite side of the church from wherever she swept.
"Nice thing, having family around," Josiah said.
His deep voice didn't startle Lucy this time. The baritone was no more threatening than the quiet rumble of thunder from distant clouds.
Lucy looked up at him, he was busy filling his buckets.
"I have a sister," he said.
Lucy looked at him again.
"Don't know what I would have done without her during our growing years. You and Vin close growing up?"
"He was all I had," Lucy ventured.
"And you were all he had," Josiah surmised.
Lucy nodded.
"There a reason you don't want him to know where you are?"
Lucy felt her cheeks burn. "I—I—I'm hungover," she admitted.
Josiah didn't seem fazed by her answer. He kept right on working. "Reckon we've all been there a time or two. Even your brother."
Lucy tightened her grip on the broom. "He's had to do enough for me already. I don't want to make him worry more."
"That's understandable," Josiah said.
Lucy was relieved he didn't push her about what had happened, or ask how she had let Vin down in other ways. She didn't want to talk about all the ways she had failed at helping him. At bringing her own problems right to Vin, along with the promised violence of Eli Joe that she should have been able to keep in Tuscosa and away from Vin.
"You're welcome here as long as you need. As often as you need, too."
Lucy darted another look at her brother's friend. The man Chris seemed comfortable with. He gave her a smile and went back to his task. Lucy breathed a sigh of relief into the silence and focused on her own work.
The sound of someone coming up the steps drew her eyes toward the door and she instinctively moved closer to the wall.
Chris stepped through the door, a box in his arms.
Lucy didn't dwell on the relief she felt at his return, but hurried to his side, intending to take the box from him.
"I got it," he said.
Lucy closed the door behind him instead, then staying near his side, keeping him between her and Josiah, as he brought the box to a small table at the back of the church.
"Flapjacks, eggs, bacon and sausage," Chris said, laying out the dishes on the table.
Lucy felt her stomach turn at the sight of the rich food.
"Dry toast and apple slices," Chris said, putting a smaller tin plate in front of her and uncovering it. "Might be a little easier on your stomach."
Lucy hovered uncomfortably as Chris and Josiah dished themselves up, pouring three cups of coffee from a pot that had been in the box as well.
"Sit," Chris said, nodding toward one of the battered chairs at the table.
Lucy kept her eyes on her plate, listening to the comfortable way Josiah and Chris spoke without pressuring her to enter to the conversation.
When her tin mug was empty, Chris refilled it without comment. When the kitten came and walked across the toes of his boots, Chris picked him up and fed him a piece of sausage.
Lucy didn't know what to make of him. He looked her way again and Lucy tried for a small smile, hoping he'd take it as her thanks, even as she felt more confused than ever. His green eyes softened. And then the kitten reached his paws onto the table and Chris turned his attention to the meal his small charge was trying to get.
#
Again there was no answer to his knock. Vin listened at the door to Lucy's room. He didn't hear any sound.
The sun was moving toward midday and her door was still tightly closed. A knot of worry started raveling in his gut. With one more knock, Vin moved his hand to the doorknob and turned it.
Lucy's room was empty. Vin told himself she must have gone somewhere. That there was nothing to worry about. There was no way Eli Joe had made it to town this quickly.
But he also knew Lucy. No, he used to know her. He didn't know this timid girl who was scared of her own shadow. But he was growing familiar with this scared and skittish young woman she had become. And he couldn't imagine her heading out of the saloon on her own.
He closed the door and moved past the empty room Larabee stayed in when he was in town. For a minute he wished Chris was in town. Then Lucy wouldn't have been left on her own.
Calling himself all sorts of a reckless fool for not keeping an eye on Lucy, he took the stairs two at a time back to the main floor. He nearly ran over Buck on his way out the swinging doors.
"Whoa, there," Buck said, catching his balance. "What's wrong?"
"Lucy's missin'," Vin said. "Have you seen her?" He looked past Buck, down the street toward the café. Maybe she had gone to get some food. He should have brought her breakfast earlier.
"Hold on there," Buck called.
Vin had started in the direction of the café, but stopped when Buck called to him.
"She's fine," Buck said. "Larabee said she's getting' some air. Takin' a walk."
Vin frowned. "Chris is in town?" Chris was in town with Lucy?
"Got in last night," Buck said.
Relief flowed through Vin. Lucy wasn't off on her own somewhere. She was safe.
Chris was with her.
While Vin had been assuming the worst about Lucy, Chris had been with her.
He picked up his pace. He'd start at the other end of town, at the church. Josiah usually saw the comings and goings from his vantage point there.
Vin's fear had turned to frustration and grown to anger by the time he got to the church.
He could hear Josiah's voice, followed by Chris' and then a softer feminine voice.
He pushed open the door to the small building and scanned the room until he saw Lucy.
She startled at his entrance and took a couple steps to reach Chris' side before recognition showed on her face.
Hurt curled around the anger in Vin. Lucy was turning to Chris for protection from him. From her brother.
"What's goin' on?" Vin demanded, his jaw set as he faced Chris.
Chris straightened up from the pew he had apparently been repairing. "Somethin' wrong?" he asked levelly.
Vin looked at Lucy. At the fear that still lingered on her face. She hadn't moved from Chris' side.
"Didn't know you were in town," Vin said. "Didn't know where Lucy went."
"I—I'm sorry," Lucy stammered, distress marring her face.
Vin tried to gentle his voice. Lucy wasn't the one he was angry with. "You didn't do nothin' wrong." He looked back at Chris, clearly implying who it was that was in the wrong.
"You got somethin' you want to say, Tanner?" Chris asked.
Vin looked at Lucy. She looked pale, her hands were trembling.
He took a breath, stopped himself from saying anything more. "Just glad you're ok," he said to his sister.
She gave him an uncertain smile.
And then she moved from Chris over to Vin. "Did you want to go see Mary?" she asked. "I told her I would see her the next time I made it to town."
Vin nodded. He saw Chris watching them before turning back to his work, his shoulders a tight line and sanding with renewed force.
Vin gave Lucy space as they walked toward the door. She paused as they went past Josiah.
"Thank you, for everything," she said.
Josiah's lips curved and he winked at her. "Anytime."
Vin guided his sister from the church into the sunshine. She looked at him and he could see the sister he remembered in her clear blue eyes, beneath the fear and worry.
He took in a deep breath of the fresh air, telling himself that it wouldn't be much longer and she would be ok. They could put the past behind them and she would be ok.
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