Chapter 20

"Lucy," Mary said warmly. "I was hoping I'd get a chance to see you." She noticed the shy curve of Lucy's lips in response to her greeting. Mary stepped out from behind her desk. "Hello, Vin," she added a greeting for Lucy's brother. She kept her voice level, not sure why she felt unsteady in the presence of the man. She had known him for over a year now and never felt anything but comfortable around the soft spoken tracker.

Vin gave a nod of greeting, shifting his weight slightly, not coming in very far past the doorway.

"You two need anything, Mary?" Vin asked.

Mary gave herself a mental shake, then firmed up her control over her voice and her expression. "No, thank you." She controlled her smile, giving Vin the same expression she had given his sister. Friendly. Warm. He was a friend, just as Lucy was.

"I'll be goin' then," Vin said, taking a step backwards toward the door. He paused next to Lucy and Mary saw Lucy look up at Vin, worry around her eyes. She wondered at that, but tried to drop her eyes and afford them some privacy.

"I'll see you later. Mary can have JD get me if you need anything 'fore then."

Lucy nodded quickly, and Mary assumed Lucy would never let Vin know if she did need anything.

Mary gave Vin one last benign smile and turned her attention to Lucy before she grew confused by Vin's presence and his effect on her.

"I'm so glad you came by. JD told me you were spending some time in town this week."

Lucy's nodded and then bit her lip. Mary saw her looking around the newspaper office, taking in the equipment and papers in the space. She didn't push Lucy for more information about her visit to town.

"It must be nice to have the chance to be near your brother."

A mix of emotions crossed her face, and Mary didn't miss that guilt seemed to be the most prominent.

"Well," Mary said briskly, "Come upstairs. I could use a break and we can have tea."

Lucy's expression relaxed and she followed Mary upstairs. Mary let herself relax in the younger woman's company.

Once inside the small apartment Mary kept, Mary motioned for Lucy to take a seat at the table.

"I have coffee. Or tea…Earl Gray, orange pekoe…" Mary turned from the counter that held the glass jars of tea leaves and looked to Lucy for her preference.

Lucy looked slightly green around the gills.

"Are you feeling sick?" Mary asked.

Lucy tried to wave off Mary's concern, which only fueled it. Mary took the chair next to Lucy and refrained from feeling her forehead for a fever as if she was a child.

"I…" Lucy spoke softly. There was that expression of guilt again. "I drank too much last night."

Whatever Mary had been expecting Lucy to say, that was not it.

"Oh," was all Mary could manage at first.

"You won't tell Vin, will you?" Lucy asked, fear pulling at her face, drawing her lips taut.

"No," Mary assured her automatically. "Of course not. Vin wasn't with you?" she asked. She tried to imagine Lucy drinking with Buck or Ezra, the two men she could most easily see corrupting the poor girl, but with Lucy's timidity, she couldn't fathom how that would happen.

Lucy shook her head slightly. "I was with Chris…Mr. Larabee," she corrected herself.

"Chris?" Mary felt her eyebrows go up toward her hairline. "I didn't realize he was in town." And she didn't realize he and Lucy did anything more than avoid one another out at the ranch.

"He said it was quiet out at the ranch," Lucy said. "I'm sure it's been hard on him, being stuck out there with me when he's used to being in town, with Vin and everyone."

Mary felt the start of a suspicion it hadn't been that hard on Chris being out on the ranch with Lucy.

"I'll make some tea," Mary said. "Goodness knows I've brewed a pot or five for JD when he's tried too hard to keep up with Buck at the saloon."

"I can do it," Lucy said, starting to rise from her chair.

Mary waved for her to stay seated and went back to the counter. Using the space afforded by having her back to Lucy, she finally dropped her impassive mask, trying to put together everything she had just learned from Lucy, hearing more in what she wasn't saying than what had actually been said.

#

Chris looked at the bolts of fabric, feeling a scowl pull at his face.

Chris heard the bell over the door jingle and then familiar footfalls approaching behind him. It didn't improve his mood.

"Well now, you'd look awful pretty in that lavender fabric, Chris."

Chris turned a glare on Buck. Buck responded with a grin.

"You come lookin' for me for a reason, or just to be a thorn in my side?" Chris asked.

Buck nodded towards the back of the store. "Beans. Inez told me if I was intent on loiterin' underfoot, she was going to make me useful."

"Good luck with that," Chris muttered.

Buck grinned. "You gettin' something for Lucy?" he asked.

"She has nothin' to her name," Chris said. Knowing that it was the fault of Eli Joe, everything he had taken from Lucy and everything he hadn't provided for her, made his blood heat with fury. He suppressed it, turning his attention back to the fabric.

"What does she need?" He heard the humor gone from Buck's voice.

Chris let out a sigh. "I have no idea."

Buck nodded like he was unfazed at the prospect of picking out an entire female wardrobe. "She know how to sew?" Buck asked.

Chris felt his brow furrow farther. He had no idea. It struck him how little he really knew about the woman he was married to. He sighed heavily.

Buck moved away from the fabric. "Unless you're plannin' to learn how to sew, might be better to get her ready made things," he said.

Chris followed him.

There weren't many women folk in town, barely enough to merit the store carrying ready made skirts and dresses. But there were a few and Buck quickly looked through the sparse selection.

"These ought to fit. Inez can help her alter anything that's off." Buck handed two skirts to Chris. He held up a blouse. "This one?" he asked.

Chris noticed the blue in the pattern was the same color as Lucy's eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes," Buck said cheerfully, not bothering to hide his amusement. Chris glared at Buck.

Buck added two nightdresses to the pile in Chris' arms and Chris thanked his lucky stars Buck had grown up with a mother in a brothel, surrounded by ladies who made a living half-clothed. Buck didn't hesitate as he added underthings and stockings, and a new pair of boots.

Chris breathed a sigh of relief when the task was complete and he set his pile on the counter.

Tompkins, the store owner didn't comment as he rang up the purchases.

"Hey, Chris," Buck said. "What about something like this? Ladies love this kind of stuff."

Chris turned in time for Buck to toss a bar of soap to him. The scent of lavender hit him and his body instinctively responded, the sight of Lucy barely hidden behind a towel all too vivid a memory.

Chris threw the bar of soap back in the basket with more force than was necessary. "The clothes are plenty," he said shortly.

He avoided looking at Buck, waiting impatiently for all the packages to be wrapped in brown paper. He feigned interest in a display of new knives when there were only some lace edged items he had no business seeing left on the counter.

When the crinkle of paper stopped, Chris fished money from his pocket and settled his account.

He took the stack of packages, Buck taking the boots, and headed out the door.

"Saw her and Vin headin' toward The Clarion office earlier," Buck said. "You want to bring this over there?"

Chris shook his head and kept on his path toward the saloon. He was going to set the packages in Lucy's room and hope they wouldn't need to talk about them once she found them.

Thankfully Buck kept any further comments to himself, doing nothing more than following Chris up the stairs to the rooms Chris and Lucy currently occupied.

Chris set the stack of packages on her bed, took the boots from Buck and set them on the floor. He didn't look around the room, didn't want to think about sitting side by side on that bed with Lucy last night while she told him how desperate her life with Eli Joe had really been. And then, when she had finally passed out, Chris had sat there, studying how innocent she looked in her sleep, wondering how she could still be so kindhearted after everything she had survived.

Somehow he was starting to feel more protective over the girl than just keeping her from Eli Joe.

Chris shut the door harder than he intended, earning him raised eyebrows from Buck.

"See you later," Chris said before Buck tried to push him for any conversation. He had nowhere to be, but he didn't tell Buck that. He needed space from the man who could read him too easily, needed to get these thoughts out of his head.

#

"I'll be fine," Lucy assured Mary. She was just leaving the newspaper office and walking down the street to the saloon, and then upstairs to her room. It didn't need to scare her. She had nothing to fear in this town, not with Vin and his friends around.

She reminded herself of that fact another two times as she thanked Mary for the visit and stepped outside.

The commotion on the street made her instinctively flinch and press her lips together. She forced in a deep breath. She tried not to see the face of one of Eli Joe's men, or the men who had assaulted her on the stage, in every single one of the men she passed on the street. She reminded herself they weren't here in town. She was safe. Vin had said so.

A shout behind her had her jumping slightly and quickly pressing her back against the rough wood of the general store exterior. The wall snagged on her worn dress as she looked toward where the sound came from. She realized how unarmed she was. She had never got her knife back from Vin.

Her eyes darted around until they landed on the man who had called out. He yelled again and waved an arm in the air. Lucy followed his gaze to another man farther down the street, who responded with a grin and a wave of his own.

She let out a long breath, edging away from the building's protection at her back.

She looked at the saloon. She looked the opposite direction, away from the commotion of town and people, toward the church at the edge of town where she had spent the morning with Chris. She headed that direction, trying not to cast nervous glances over her shoulder at the normal commotion of a rough town behind her. She and Vin had grown up in towns like these, they were nothing unfamiliar to her.

With every step toward the church, she called herself a new name. A new derision for what she had become, how weak she was, how easily scared. How Vin would never look at her the same way. She was blinking back tears by the time she opened the door to the church.

Her eyes adjusted to the dimmer light of the interior slowly and she hovered in the doorway until she could determine who was in the chapel and where they were.

She saw Chris at the far end of the church. "You have a good visit with Mary?" he asked.

Lucy nodded, not trusting her voice just yet. Even from the distance between them, she could see Chris' eyes narrow, taking her in. He straightened from where he was sanding a pew.

Lucy didn't see Josiah in the church. She quickly looked around for something to put her hands to, anything to stay busy and not think about everything that threatened her. Maybe she shouldn't have come back to the church. Maybe she shouldn't have left Tuscosa and come looking for Vin in the first place. Maybe—

"Take a breath," came Chris' voice from near her.

Lucy startled and took a step back, not realizing how close he had come.

Chris stood evenly and Lucy met his eyes, feeling her heart rate slow slightly.

"Somethin' happen?" Chris asked. His eyes darkened.

Lucy shook her head, feeling her lips tremble. She pressed them together harder, fighting for control.

Chris moved a slow step closer and Lucy found herself welcoming his steady presence into her space now that she was expecting it. He looked down at her.

"Nothing," she said, finally managing to answer his question. "Nothing happened." She blinked faster, trying to keep the tears back. All the times she hadn't been able to keep her tears under control in front of Eli Joe in the early days of their marriage came to mind. All those times she had desperately wanted Vin back, thought of how he would wipe away her tears when they were younger.

She brushed at her tears, angry with herself for being so weak. "Sorry," she whispered.

Chris didn't look angry when she risked a look at him.

"It's been a long day," he said. "You want to go back to your room? Take a breather?"

Lucy was nodding before she could catch herself. She needed to get back to her room. Get control. Stop thinking about the memories that chased her.

"Come on," Chris said like he wasn't frustrated with her. Lucy risked another look at him, saw lines around his mouth that looked more like concern than anger.

Chris glanced around the church before they left, then saw what he was looking for. He left her side briefly, crossing to a far corner. He returned with Soot in one hand, the kitten batting at his thumb.

Lucy let him guide her back toward the town, keeping close to his side at the sounds that seemed overwhelming and like they came from every direction without warning. When she flinched at a sharp crack of a wagon hitting a rock, Chris placed his hand lightly on her lower back.

Lucy could feel the warmth of his palm through her threadbare dress. She focused on the strength of his hand, instead of the commotion around them. When they stepped into the saloon, it was blessedly quieter, still too early for a crowd.

Chris kept going, directly to the stairs and Lucy kept putting one foot in front of the other, vaguely hearing the greetings from Ezra and Inez as they went past.

When Chris opened the door to her room, Lucy went in and finally drew in a shaky breath.

Chris stayed in the doorway, watching her.

"I…" She didn't know what to say. "Thank you." Another trembling breath. She tried to meet his eyes again. "I didn't used to be like this." She bit her lips, fighting for control that seemed to be slipping farther away.

Chris was silent. She was ready to take that as his unspoken judgment when he moved into the room. "Think you're just as strong as you ever were," he said. "Anyone who could live through what you did is damn strong."

Lucy closed her eyes, wishing she could believe what he said, but she knew better. She knew all the ways she had failed and kept failing.

"You got a chance for a fresh start," Chris said. "You got people here that want to help. Vin, Mary, Nathan. This cat."

Lucy looked at him and saw the slightest quirk of his lips. She felt her own lips match the tug at the corners when she looked at Soot, one paw tangled in Chris' shirt with tiny claws engaged in the threads.

"I'd…" Lucy stopped herself from saying the words. She looked at Chris, saw no judgment there. No pity. Just something that looked an awful lot like concern. She thought of everything she had told him the night before, of how he had stayed with her. How he had helped her when she was sick this morning. She chewed the inside of her cheek, weighing what she wanted to say. She risked it. "I'd like a fresh start," she whispered.

Saying the words felt like leaving Eli Joe all over again. Like she was asking for something she couldn't have. Something dangerous.

"You got that here," Chris said. And the way he was so certain made Lucy want to believe him. She tilted her head back to look at him, really look at him, and not flinch away when he held her gaze.

This time she couldn't breathe. And it had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with how Chris was looking at her.

But then he blinked and stepped back.

"There are some things here for your fresh start," he said, his voice rough.

Lucy quickly stepped back as well. She looked over at the packages piled on her bed he motioned at.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Told Buck you needed some things. He figured the rest out."

Lucy went to the packages. Her feet bumped against something on the floor and she looked down to see a new pair of boots. Her eyes flew to Chris, but he was busy getting the kitten's claws unhooked from his shirt.

Lucy cautiously opened the packages enough to peak at what each one held. She looked at the fabrics that were revealed. A calico blouse in the prettiest shade of blue she had ever seen. She ran a tentative finger over the flower pattern. Another package revealed a nightgown, edged in dainty lace. She felt her brow furrow as she tried to figure out why Buck would have bought her a wardrobe. She glanced at Chris and understanding dawned. Chris had told her to get what she needed when she was in town. Chris knew her nightdress had been covered in blood. These weren't from Buck.

"I can't…I can't take these," she said.

Chris set the kitten down on the floor and straightened up. Lucy shuffled backwards a step, the nightgown still in her hand and falling the rest of the way out of the wrapping paper. Her heart skipped erratically, as she worried she had offended him by refusing the packages.

"You need them," he said as if that settled it.

"But—but I can't take them. From you. It's too much…all this…" she gestured helplessly at the clothing with her free hand, clutching the nightgown in front of her like a shield. She clamped her lips shut, determined not to argue anymore and test Chris' patience. She could return the purchases to the store quietly.

"The way I figure it, I owe you for several weeks' work," Chris said.

Lucy started to shake her head.

"The only reason I wouldn't pay you is because you're my wife."

Lucy's heart stuttered at hearing him call her his wife, feeling the fear at being tied to anyone the way she had been to Eli Joe.

"But if you were my wife, I'd be buyin' you what you need," Chris continued.

Lucy felt her chest loosen at the clarification she wasn't really his wife. This was just a temporary arrangement.

"Either way, you need clothes." Chris' expression gentled and he nodded toward the purchases. "For your fresh start."

She didn't understand why her fresh start mattered to him, but she thought of how much she wanted to leave everything tied to Eli Joe behind. Chris getting her what she needed, Buck helping pick it out, it was almost like a welcome to the town. Saying she was wanted here.

A knot of emotion wedged into her throat. She opened her mouth, not sure how to thank him past the tightness, but determined to try.

A sharp knock on her door interrupted her before she could try.

#

"Lucy come back this way?" Vin asked Ezra.

Ezra looked up from placing clean drinking glasses on the shelf behind the bar. "She and Mr. Larabee went upstairs a bit ago."

Vin nodded. He was glad she had found Chris—or Chris had found her—and Lucy hadn't had to walk the town alone. When Mary had told him Lucy had left alone, Vin hadn't been able to shake the discomfort at the idea of his sister unescorted. She was too pretty to be alone on the streets with the riffraff that blew in from all directions. And Vin was all too aware of all she had been subjected to because of his lack of protection.

Vin took the steps two at a time. He'd check on Lucy. She hadn't looked well earlier, her face pale and looking more fragile than she had been since her arrival. He hoped the visit with Mary had helped. He was feeling more than a little helpless at being what Lucy needed right now, and that stung. He needed to figure out how to give her what she needed.

He knocked on her bedroom door. He heard her quiet voice and cracked the door open.

What he saw had his shoulders stiffening, his hand tightening on the door, and everything in him holding back from launching himself at Chris.

Chris and Lucy were standing in her room—her bedroom—and the door had been closed. Lucy held a lacy nightdress up to herself as if she were modeling it for Chris.

Vin turned all his attention on Chris. Trying to make sense of what the man he called a friend was doing.

"What's goin' on?" Vin asked, his voice going soft, everything in him stilled and ready for a fight.

Chris held Vin's gaze without flinching. "Vin."

Vin looked back at Lucy, seeing her cheeks deepen to red as she glanced down at what she was holding.

"Chris…Mr. Larabee…got me some things," she said. She quickly folded the nightdress and laid it on the bed.

"Not much fabric to that," Vin said stiffly. "Nights get cold this close to the mountains." He saw Lucy's lips press together and watched her clamp her trembling fingers together in front of her skirt. Her worn and patched skirt. Vin mentally kicked himself. Why hadn't he noticed what Lucy was lacking? One more way he had failed her.

"I can get you what you need," he said, trying to keep his tone level. Trying to ignore the shame and guilt that burned that Chris was not only having to protect his sister, but had bought her what she clearly needed.

"It's fine, Tanner," Chris said. "It's taken care of."

"It ain't your job to outfit her," Vin said. His words came out too rough, sending Lucy back a few steps. He swallowed hard, tried to get control of emotions that were running too close to the surface.

"Don't do this," Chris said under his breath. He didn't need volume to make the warning clear.

Vin looked over at Lucy, her trembling clear even at this distance.

He uncurled his fists, hooked his thumbs on his gunbelt like he didn't want to make a fist and punch something. Someone. He glanced at Chris, then down at that damn nightgown.

"You got everything you need now, Luce?" he asked.

Lucy kept her eyes down and nodded.

Vin hated that she wouldn't look at him. Not that he deserved anything different after what he had left her to back in Texas.

"You want an early dinner?" Vin offered.

He wasn't surprised when Lucy shook her head, but it didn't make it sting any less.

"I—I think… I'm going to rest awhile." Lucy's words were barely audible.

Vin held back a sigh, not wanting Lucy to think his frustration was with her. He nodded, though she didn't look up to see that, and moved toward the door.

Chris gave Lucy a last look, then followed him into the hall.

"You tryin' to make things harder for her?" Chris demanded, fixing Vin with a hard look.

"I'm tryin' to be her brother," Vin countered. Now that they weren't in front of Lucy, he didn't bother to hide his anger. "It's my job to take care of her. You just need to keep her from Eli Joe. Nothin' more." He couldn't shake the look on Lucy's face, the way she was looking at Chris, when Vin had walked into the room. "She's been through more than enough without you takin' advantage of—"

Chris cut off Vin's accusation. "Watch it." His tone was lethal.

Vin was one of the only men in the territory not cowed by the Larabee glare. But he caught himself. He knew Chris. He knew Chris wouldn't take advantage of a woman.

"I'm her brother," Vin said, barely holding back a shove to Chris' chest. "She ain't really married to you. It ain't your job to be takin' care of her. It's mine."

Chris didn't react immediately. Just stared at Vin with hard eyes. When he finally moved, it was to take a step back.

"You're right," he said. "She ain't really married to me."

Vin felt his brow lower at the look on Chris' face. A look like he was deliberately not feeling anything.

"Let me know when she needs to go back to the ranch," Chris said, any animosity gone, nothing in its place.

He went down the stairs without another word, leaving Vin alone in the hallway, feeling like he had just managed to fail Lucy and Chris. He dragged a hand over his face, trying to make sense of anything anymore too much of a challenge. He'd have to focus on the one thing he could do now. Put an end to Eli Joe's threat.

#