That evening, Fanny excused herself early and forwent the evening outings that the Bertram's had planned. Noone, but Tom, felt there was anything amiss, but his family hustled him out the door.
In her bedroom, Fanny fell once again into her bed, but the tears were spilling before she could even hide her face in the pillows. It was becoming too much of a habit.
The gravity of her situation was too much, to the point that she was even angry with Tom, Sir Bertram, and Mr. Crawford, for all they caused. Their disruptions to her life. All she wanted was to live peacefully, she wanted to have warm meals and a roof to keep her dry. She never asked for anything else, never expected it.
More than anything she was angry with herself.
When she learned of Tom's proposal, everything sounded perfect. There were no logical reasons not to marry. Yet there had been something missing, something she could not quite understand.
Now, she felt it.
It was there, when he turned to look at her, when he asked for a drive only with her, when he spoke…
The beautiful explosiveness of a full heart. A heart that fluttered with excitement.
She still could not believe that it happened, it was impossible. But the loud response of her heart assured her she was awake.
But just as quickly…
She could not in good conscience accept a courtship, not when Tom was waiting for an answer. She had seen his face when she left, she had felt his gaze when she returned. The guilt provoked her initial tears, but the injustice of the situation had her sobbing.
Her mind rolled to the other man.
She cried because she could not say yes to him.
She caused the pain on his face.
She took his smile.
And he gave her a flower and his understanding in return.
Her mind insisted in recollecting their past interactions, to torture her. His teasing, his laughter, and his conversations.
It seemed just as well that she experienced this torment, for what she had caused him. He was a kind man, he had become one. He was also extremely wealthy and undoubtedly handsome, he had no need to lower himself to her level and endure such embarrassment.
She felt a hand touch her head and she allowed Sally to push her hair from her face. Just her touch was reassuring, as she was present during the whole ordeal and needed no explanation.
"Miss Price," Sally said softly when she was calm. "You have a visitor downstairs."
Sally assisted her in cleaning up and brought fresh water to brighten her tear-stained face. It was not a good time, but there was none other than her in the house. She straightened herself and mustered what little strength she had left to tend to her guest.
She was unsure of who she thought was visiting, but she certainly did not expect Miss Croft.
"Miss Price," Miss Croft gave her a grand curtsy, which Fanny returned as well as possible. She was dressed as elegantly as always, her dress carrying her into the room gracefully. "It has been too long."
"It certainly has, Miss Croft," Fanny did not have the energy to bring up any shields before this powerful socialite, instead she took a seat and served her a cup of tea.
"Miss Price, I will speak frankly, if you will allow me," Miss Croft took a single sip before placing her cup back.
"Certainly, Miss Croft," Because there was no other answer for such a request from her. The last time they spoke, Miss Croft was in the process of embarrassing her.
"I rarely apologize, because everything I do is carefully premeditated." Miss Croft began, crossing her arms defensively. "I will not apologize for questioning you at Mansfield Park, because they were answers that I wanted to know so I asked."
Fanny tried not to wince too openly.
"However…" Miss Croft gave a sigh, looking out at the unlit fireplace instead. "For antagonizing you, I do apologize." Fanny blinked in disbelief, the turmoil from before taking a step back to allow these new developments to process. "I used an unreliable source and caused you embarrassment as a result."
"Miss Croft…" Fanny began in astonishment.
"Additionally, I want to offer you one of the most useful weapons I can give in London society," She dropped her arms and looked back at her with that familiar twinkle in her eye. "My friendship."
Unexpected developments indeed.
"Your…" Fanny let out a breath. "Miss Croft, I am honored…"
"It is no honor, the Crawfords can attest to that," Miss Croft waved her compliments away. "Mary and I spoke, and we decided to give you as much assistance as possible against these vicious rumors."
"Vicious rumors?"
"Yes," She gave her a curious look. "Have you not heard?"
Fanny shook her head.
"Well, Fanny. May I call you Fanny?" Miss Croft took her tea with an elegant hand.
Fanny nodded.
"Fanny, all of London is abrew with the latest gossip, and it unfortunately involves you," She sipped her tea. "It is well known that you and Mr. Tom Bertram have an understanding. That is enough to drive any mob up the wall. Not long ago, Mr. Crawford paid my father a visit, and rumors began that we were secretly engaged as well. Last night, however, you were seen in an intimate conversation and dance with my supposed fiancé. And would you believe it, Fanny, that as I was about to pay you a visit, there was a rumor that Mr. Crowford took a private drive with you today."
Fanny's face heated, and Miss Croft studied her reaction.
"So it is true," Miss Croft put down her tea. "Mr. Bertram has proposed marriage, and so has Mr. Crawford."
Fanny jumped to her feet.
"Miss Croft, I have no intention of causing any trouble to anyone." She was mortified. Was Miss Croft dishonest about wanting to be friends and came to torture her instead? "Everyone is speaking about this?"
"Call me Anne," Miss Croft stood as well and made her way to her side. In an uncharacteristic act of compassion, she took Fanny's hand. "I am not accusing you, I came to understand your position, so you understand mine. I pride myself in being able to read people, and know their character after very little association. I misjudged you at Mansfield Park." She let go of her hands. "Or rather, I judged you correctly, but second guessed myself based on lies I was told and because I was … distracted." With a sigh she returned to her seat "From your reaction, I understand you are not the type of lady I thought you might have been. You are just as I first supposed."
Fanny also took a seat, but with less elegance, and more heaviness.
"Thank you," was all she said.
It was kind of Miss Crof-Anne to say so. She appreciated her honesty and her efforts to help her. However, she was unsure she could trust her, and generally confused as to where this was going.
"Mary and I have formed a sort of scheme, Fanny. She is to arrive at any moment now." She took her tea in her hands again. "I asked her to let me meet with you privately first to apologize without an audience."
"A scheme?" Fanny asked, alarmed. Whatever scheme Miss Croft conceived was most likely far beyond her comfort level.
"Do not be alarmed my dear," Miss Cro-Anne winked at her. Winked. "Ah, that would be her," she said when they heard commotion from someone at the door.
Mrs. Bertram was dressed fabulously as if she were to attend a ball, which she may be doing so after her visit.
"Mrs. Bertram," Fanny rose to her feet again.
"We need to reintroduce ourselves with Christian names, Fanny." She waved her greetings away. "My name is Mary, I am now a friend that will take on the London ton with you. I am guessing Anne has briefed you?"
"Anne, friend and co-conspirator, a pleasure to meet you Mary," Miss- Anne nodded to the newcomer. "And you Fanny."
"My name is Fanny, thank you Mary and Anne," She could not help but smile a bit at their silliness.
"Have you explained our plan Anne?" Mary took a seat beside Fanny.
"It is not even a plan, Mary, it is barely anything," Anne sniffed.
"It is an excellent plan, and we will take on London with it," Mary waved away her friend. "Listen carefully Fanny, Anne and I will help you by being your faithful friends. Anyone speaking about you within earshot will get such a speech, they will understand there is no animosity between Anne and you. They will dare not anger a Croft and Crawford-turned-Bertram."
Mary looked between them expectedly.
"That is the plan." Anne said blandly. "We will say nice things."
Fanny was only just now beginning to believe them. They had no reason to play with her feelings. Miss Cro-Anne had been kind to her at Mansfield Park, including her in their activities and being polite until that last day. Miss- Mary as well, all the negative feelings toward her could be attributed to the time she was also in love with Edmund. Now, there was nothing left but the reminiscent feeling of a betrayal that never happened.
"No, Anne," Mary crossed her arms. "We will strategically place her where she cannot be socially reached. At the same time clear you from becoming the pathetic jilted lover of my brother."
Anne smirked.
At the mention of Mr. Crawford once again threatened to break the feeble barrier Fanny had created to bar her depressed feelings. She no longer had the initial shock of her visitors to distract her.
"He is right," Mary dropped her excited countenance for a more somber one as she studied Fanny. "You wear every emotion on your face."
"Fanny," Anne turned to her too, softening her voice. "You love him do you not?"
Fanny shook her head because she did not trust herself to speak.
"At Mansfield Park," Anne settled her cup to give her attention. "You never spoke more than when you spoke with him. You would even laugh and tease him. I tried my best to give you two times together as it seemed you both enjoyed each other's presence."
"Yes," Mary continued. "Henry returned to London in such a state I thought he was growing sick. He often spoke strange things, and Anne confirmed they were topics you spoke with him about. When I went to Mansfield Park, you were different as well. You have always been quiet, but then you were distracted and never quite present."
Fanny shook her head again.
She wanted them to stop speaking.
She wanted to hear more.
She wanted nothing and everything.
"My brother came to see you today, did he not?"
It broke her.
A little.
A single tear escaped her weak will.
The girl was so torn and vulnerable. Never had Anne Croft expected her to switch so quickly from a shy, confused girl to the heartbroken woman she saw before her.
Anne looked at Mary and the friends exchanged understanding. Fanny was in love with Mr. Crawford. It was so obvious torturing her. However, she could not betray whatever understanding she had with Mr. Bertram. It would be like betraying the whole family, the family that took her in.
Anne stood and poured water from a pitcher. Mary took Fanny's hand. Neither said anything.
They let her mourn for a moment.
She herself caged the same pain within her, and seeing it on another woman caused a new compassion for her new friend. She understood so much it hurt.
Fanny did not allow herself more than a tear and a few shallow breaths, and Anne admired the girl she had first spared little thought for. She was braver than she believed.
"We will find a solution, Fanny," Mary finally spoke.
Anne heard the naivety from her friend. Mary had found her love in the countryside and destroyed any objection to the strange match easily with her brother supporting her. Anne and Fanny, however, did not have that freedom, as their guardians were not as generous.
"We will help with everything in our power," Anne assured her.
"Come, Fanny, you will be joining us to the De Bourgh Ball, it is the perfect place to execute our plan." Mary ushered. "Go dress in your finest, there is nobility to be expected there."
Fanny was in shock at the abrupt invitation, but she was easy enough to push into getting ready. They were not expected for another half hour anyhow and they rarely arrived on time.
Fanny's new gowns were a delightful change from the drab dresses she had sported at Mansfield Park, but they still lacked the spark that a London socialite should host.
Anne and Mary shared their jewelry to accessorize her, but Anne made a mental note to plan a shopping trip. She may even make use of some of her older gowns. A look from Mary told her she was thinking the same.
Together, the carriage took the three to Mary's home to pick up her husband who would be joining them.
The four arrived at the ball, ready for what lay before them.