Hell in a Crapbasket

Episode 1: Limbo, level 2

"Are you ready to head through the portal?" Pandemonica asked as she watched the four Hollows line up in front of the library.

Half of the quartet snapped into military salutes. "Yes Ma'am!"

The remaining two were otherwise too occupied to do anything of the sort and simply greeted the demon. Without another word, the demoness began to march, dragging behind her Alien by a rope attached to his midsection.

"I still don't get why you felt the need for this," he muttered. "I mean, most people around here can't even see us."

A piercing glare shut him up immediately.

"This is because I had to spend fifteen minutes searching for you while in that library-" she hissed, yanking the rope to make him start walking again, "- when it should take at most five minutes to go through each of its corridors. I won't have you running off again, understood?"

"...ok."

From his shoulder, Ralts snickered a bit. "Whipped."

As he passed by the taller man, Sloth gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Don't worry dude, we've got your back. Still though..." he turned to look at the library they'd left a few minutes earlier. "That was a waste of time."

"As someone who's gotten used to public libraries and information being freely available to the public, I have to say I detest how Hell does things." Cletus complained. "I mean, paying fines from returning the book late is one thing but having to pay exorbitant amounts upfront just to rent them? Is there no end to monetization in this society?"

"Therein lies the problem. We live in a society," Alien added, making his best impression of a slasher smile.

"Society could use an update as far as I'm concerned." Cletus responded deadpan, completely missing the attempted joke.

Sloth and Ralts snickered at the exchange. That is, until Sloth realized something wasn't normal.

"Hey, Ralts?"

"Yeah?"

"You're awake."

The quartet blinked in unison, looking at the diminutive Brit.

"...I am. Weird. Think it has to do with being in Hell?"

Everyone exchanged a series of shrugs and confused looks, all of them gazing at Pandemonica in hopes of an answer.

For her part, the demoness quirked an eyebrow and shrugged just like the rest of them.

As they roamed through the seemingly-endless city of Limbo, the amount of lost souls in the streets slowly dwindled to nothing; the buildings slowly becoming more dilapidated and ancient. The modern apartment blocks gave way to more derelict equivalents, seemingly keeping themselves together only by sheer force of will, spit, and tape.

There was a smell. What was it? Maybe… flesh? It had almost forgotten what it smelled like. What did it taste like? How did it feel to tear it apart?

A screech. The imp spotted something. Man-flesh? It wanted it. The smell lit a fire inside its body. It needed it.

It saw them, man-flesh. One smelled weak, the others were not a threat.

The imps threw fire at them. It waited. One was hurt, it took the hit for the weak one. The other two attacked. The white one held something, hitting the imps with it. It was fast and strong. A worthy prey.

A loud sound, and another imp fell. The round one had something in its hand. The sound came again, and another imp fell.

Its stomach growled. It wouldn't wait anymore, it needed the man-flesh now!

Sloth ducked under another of the slow fireballs, slamming his crowbar into the offending demon's kneecap. It bent sideways with a sickening crunch, and the imp fell to the ground, screeching. A stomp on its neck silenced it.

Another imp tried to come up from behind him, but a quick gunshot courtesy of Cletus blew a messy hole through its chest, killing it instantly.

They had no idea where the brown-skinned, fire-slinging monstrosities had come from, but they didn't seem very smart. Yet another one tried to rush Sloth, only to find its jaw separated from the rest of its head in a quick swing. Thankfully the blood didn't smell worse than they already did.

"Reloading!" Cletus yelled as he swung the revolver's cylinder to the side and ejected the spent cartridges inside it.

"Aye!" Came Sloth's response as he finished off the jawless imp.

Finally, finally, it seemed like the remaining few had gotten the message and decided to run off with their lives. After taking stock of the situation, Cletus and Sloth gave a sigh of relief seeing that nobody seemed to be hurt badly. The arm of Alien's jacket had been burned off, but beyond that, it didn't seem like it had done too much damage.

"Damn, these things look like they popped straight out of Adrian Carmack's pen." Cletus commented as he went to look over the body of one of the imps.

It was fascinating, in a revolting way. It was tall and lanky, with leathery skin stretched over the skeleton, seemingly without any actual flesh. Where Sloth had kicked its ribcage, he could see every single cracked bone through the skin - some having even broken through said skin. Its eyes, which a few moments ago had been burning red with malice and rage, now were black as coal, all life and light having left them.

"Also, I don't know where all this fresh ammunition keeps coming from…" Cletus commented as he loaded up fresh ammunition into his weapon with the help of a speed-loader, already having lost interest in the demon in front of him. "But I'm pretty sure my pockets shouldn't normally have space for the amount of ammo I'm expending."

"I'm calling it Hell bullshit- ow." Alien winced as Pandemonica tightened up the bandage around his forearm. "Yeah, this too, where did you even get the bandages from?"

"Hammerspace, I think you would call it," she idly noted.

"Hell bullshit to me. Also why are you even doing…" He used his free arm to motion at the bandaged one. "...This?"

The demoness' eyes had a weird glint in them as he asked that. "Am I not allowed to take care of my belongings?" She gave a smile, too wide and too sharp to be comforting.

"Not gonna lie, that sounds kinda like something Max Stirner would say." Cletus comments. "That or just regular BDSM petplay."

"If you wish to discuss philosophy or sexual practices, you will need to-" She yawned "-to wait for me to have some more caffeine in my bloodstream."

As the Hollows and demon were talking, nobody paid attention to the dark alleyways running between the ruins. Several figures moved in the shadows, letting out grunts and squeals as they approached, a thick trail of saliva dripping in their wake.

"Anyone else hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Like heavy breathing. And animal noises."

Just as Sloth finished talking, a loud, bellowing screech reminiscent of a hog on steroids could be heard as a large, hunched pink shape charged out of one of the alleyways.

"It's a fucking Pinky, move!" Cletus yelled as everyone jumped out of the way of the demon's charge.

"How do you even come up with those names?" Yelled out the group's demon.

"Because I fucking played Doom! These things look and behave exactly like their game equivalents!" Cletus yelled back as he rose back up just in time to see the Pinky pivot around for another charge. "If Alien's gonna base his decision-making on popular media then I might as well too."

Its clawed feet rasped at the cobbled road, leaving deep scratches in the stone with a harsh grinding noise. The small, beady eyes would've looked comical on such a disproportionate body, but the disgustingly slick pink skin, the muscular limbs, and the rows of sharp, knife-like teeth made the beast look like it had crawled out of somebody's nightmares.

"Then shoot its arse, no?" Asked Ralts, hanging on to Alien's neck for dear life.

Cletus didn't answer with words, instead choosing to let his actions speak for themselves. The pink demon rushed towards him with its massive jaws wide open, seemingly having chosen its next victim. The open mouth offered a perfect target and the Finn gladly took the opportunity, emptying each of the handcannon's six-rounds into the feral demon's open mouth and blasting the thing's pea-sized brains onto the pavement behind it.

Unfortunately, that didn't stop the monster's momentum from carrying its tumbling corpse all the way to its killer's position.

"Batter up!" A familiar voice shouted as a crowbar slammed into the Pinky's corpse, deflecting it away from Cletus and Sloth at the last moment.

"Thanks, dude." Cletus said as he wiped the cold sweat off his brow.

"Anytime." the Canadian gave a calm grin with a thumbs up.

"Yeah, about that!" Alien's strained voice came from behind them. "We kinda got some more uglys over here!"

The two turned to see that a new, larger, and more varied horde had popped onto the street from the corners and alleyways while they hadn't paid attention, too focused on downing the single Pinky. The horde was being kept at bay by Pandemonica making a variety of unfamiliar gestures in the air, red glyphs appearing in the air around her and surrounding the attacking demons.

Unfortunately, that left Alien to fend for himself, his hands locked in a contest of strength against what seemed like a minotaur, but with a boar's face. If Alien was big, then this new demon was massive, their friend's head barely reaching its sternum. Rippling muscle covered its form, visible through the patches of stained fur. Somehow Alien appeared to be matching the hulking brute, but to a more attentive eye he was losing ground, inexorably being pushed down by the grinning monster that Cletus idly recognized.

"A fucking Hell Knight?! Oh c'mon!" Cletus commented as he started frantically loading fresh rounds into his weapon.

Whilst Cletus reloaded, Sloth rushed in, attempting to take out one of the Hell Knight's kneecaps. It felt like he'd hit a brick wall, the leg barely budging and the steel instrument flying out of his hands.

"Sloth, get the fuck away! That thing is nothing to mess around with!" Cletus yelled out a warning as he finished loading the last of the munitions into his weapon and slammed the cylinder shut.

"Yeah, don't worry I got this!" Alien grunted, redoubling his efforts. He didn't expect the Knight to simply pick him up by the arms and slam him into the ground like a ragdoll. "I don't got this," he coughed.

Only then did the group realize that Ralts wasn't stuck to Alien's back anymore. Where was he gone at? Maybe he was hiding-

A loud stomp stopped their wonderings, as they saw the Knight attempting to kill Alien while he was on the ground. Thankfully he'd managed to roll out of the way in the nick of time. Cletus took the chance to take a couple of shots, aiming for the abdomen and head.

Panic welled up inside the Finnish man as he saw the bullets either barely puncture the skin, or ping off entirely. The knight shook its head a bit, a hand going to its temple where one of the bullets had pinged off, scraping off some of the leftover pieces of lead with its claw. Then it stared straight at Cletus, murderous intent clear in its porcine eyes.

"What wouldn't I pay to have a fucking anti-materiél rifle right now…" Cletus uttered as he watched the giant creature turn fully towards him. He found himself frozen in fear as it walked towards him.

A hoarse scream cut through Cletus' panic, and he saw both Sloth and Alien charge at the knight. The latter tackled the demon's midsection full-force, staggering it and allowing Sloth to use his back as a springboard, the man jumping above the demon and smashing his crowbar into its head. The sharp crack that resulted seemed to echo across the battlefield like thunder from a clear sky.

A jagged horn fell to the ground, the dull thunk followed by half of the crowbar clattering next to it much to the surprise of its wielder. A furry clawed hand came up to touch empty air, and a little further down it touched something viscous; a steady trickle of green fluid spurted out of the stump resting atop its head. The large demon roaring in outrage as the blood ran down its face made for an intimidating sight, its sharp tusks fully on display as it glared at the mortals.

In retaliation, it grabbed onto Sloth's neck with one of its massive hands, nearly crushing his windpipe before hoisting him up in the air. The other arm smacked Alien away, and then lit up as a sickly-green fireball appeared in its hand. The air around the Knight shook, and Sloth immediately began to sweat buckets, his skin beginning to itch at the sheer heat coming from the flames.

The hand approached his face, the smell of burning hairs filling the air as the accursed flames came ever-so-close to incinerating his head. The light reflected off of the Knight's eyes, giving them an ethereal glow that chilled him to the bone. Green filled his vision-

"Enough." A cold whisper swept over the battlefield, leaving only silence in its wake.

Everything, even the Hell Knight who was just about to use Sloth's face as a waffle iron, turned its head to look at who spoke. The usually unassuming Pandemonica stood in front of the demon horde, her back towards them as if they were unworthy of her attention.

"Leave this place, beasts." Her horns grew, from the short nubs they were, to a massive size rivaling the Hell Knight's remaining one. Her eyes blazed with power, casting flickering shadows everywhere. It became hard to breathe, a weight settling into each witness's chest, pressing down on them until they found themselves gasping for air. "Or suffer my wrath."

The effect was almost instant: the searing fire in the Knight's hand died out and it dropped Sloth before turning tail and running away with a terrified whimper. The remaining demons were not far behind, scampering off into every direction like rats from a sinking ship, uncaring of where they went or how many of their own number they trampled so long as they were away from the Sadistic… no, the Cruel Demon that only was spoken of in hushed whispers.

"Whoa…"

"So that's the true power of a demon."

"Is it safe now?" Ralts' meek voice finally chimed in from inside a discarded cardboard box.

"Yes, it is. For now." Pandemonica's voice returned to normal, the light in her eyes dying down and her horns returning to their normal size, albeit still maintaining the sharpness they'd gained.

"Well, glad that's over with." Cletus released a heavy sigh as he fell down on his ass, his knees felt like jelly as he stared at the gun still grasped firmly in his right hand. "I really need to upgrade my arsenal as soon as possible, this thing may have worked fine against squishy humans but it is quickly showing its obsolescence in the current environment."

Sloth murmured something resembling an agreement, as he rubbed his neck. That was definitely going to bruise. Ralts sat down next to him, looking around for a moment.

"Hey…" he muttered. "Where's Alien?"

Everyone looked around in unison, trying to locate their idiot.

"Didn't he get smacked away by the… Hell Knight… fuck." Cletus trailed off. In fact, they hadn't seen or heard anything from him after that moment.

Just as the trio was about to go look for their friend, they heard a pained groan from inside one of the nearby dumpsters, the lid of which had been bent inwards by the impact. A length of rope was sticking out from it.

Looking into the dumpster, they found Alien lying inside it. He seemed conscious, at least.

"You okay dude?"

"Feels like I got ran over by a fucking semi, but I think I'll live." He winced, holding his midsection. "Give me a hand?"

"Well, at least you didn't go the way of an Isekai protagonist." Cletus said with a chuckle as he and Sloth helped dig the man out. They went to hold him up, but found their friend getting snatched out of their hands.

"Jumping a fully grown Hell Knight like that was reckless, you utter moron. And let's not talk about how you tried to win a direct strength contest! Were you trying to get yourself flattened?" The three semi-mortals watched as the 5'6 demoness verbally tore a new one to the 6'1 man as she showed surprising strength in pulling him up and placing him on his knees in a swift motion.. "And before that! Why would you simply stay there and take a fireball? If you hadn't had that jacket, your injuries would've been much worse."

Alien hung his head in shame.

"You are not allowed to die yet, understood?"

Alien nodded sullenly.

Just when it seemed like she'd calmed down, Pandemonica turned towards the others.

"You will all get your turns. That display was pitiful. If you wish to reach Lady Lucifer then you have a lot to learn."

"Not my fault I got given a shitty starter weapon honestly." Cletus said with a dismissive shrug before he tapped his revolver. "This isn't exactly graded for demon-killing."

"Then we shall see about fixing that. Hope that you don't need me to bail you out of trouble again."

Sloth shrugged too. "I mean, yeah rushing a Hell Knight wasn't one of my brightest moments, but I was the only one available to do anything at the time. And I managed to hurt it."

The demoness' eyes narrowed. "You inconvenienced it, you mean. Losing a horn isn't a debilitating injury, and it is rather easy to break one."

"Ah." He turned the broken-off horn in his hands, having picked it up earlier. "Well then."

"And you!" She pointed at Ralts. The two stared at each other.

"...At least you realized you were going to be a burden and got out of the way."

Nobody said anything.

The march continued.

Sometimes even a badass marine needed a breather. Luckily, the border checkpoint seemed to be devoid of all life, allowing Doomguy a brief moment of respite. He'd been running around, following the tip from the man - Cletus, was his name? Weird one, but who was he to judge - about Daisy for over an hour now, but no luck. He'd then vented his frustrations onto a few dozen sinners, but all he'd really accomplished was waste ammo.

He still needed to find a demon of some kind that could bring him to the other 'planes' of Hell. Maybe that wasn't the correct word for it, but it was the best way he could describe the Underworld's confusingly multi-dimensional structure. Hopefully, those lads were fine; giving away his old sidearm was more for his own comfort than their safety, but he figured it wouldn't hurt to give them some extra firepower to even their odds against Hell's hordes.

...It was probably a mistake to leave them alone, wasn't it? They might've died already, he doubted that they could take on a Hell Knight, let alone anything stronger. And there were things a lot stronger and meaner than those roaming around. Like the one he was searching for: Pandemonica - probably not her true name, that would've been a whole new level of arrogance otherwise - the 'Tired Demon'. Yeah, right, he'd seen the records that the UAC kept over Hell. If anything, she was probably tired after killing for over a century on end.

He might've been the tiniest bit impressed.

Still, that demon was terrible news, and if those three were to meet her before he could find her… he didn't have much hope for their survival. Let alone if they somehow met any of the others he'd read about. She was actually rather tame compared to the really powerful ones.

With a grunt, he got back up to his feet. Enough wasting time, he should get back to his duty.

The checkpoint's door creaked open, bathing his green-clad form into Hell's permanent and ominous red glow. He took a cursory look at the surroundings, finding nobody still. Good enough, he might be able to use this place again at a later time.

He was still somewhat puzzled at all the weirdly human infrastructure present in Hell… He wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting honestly, but regular glass and concrete highrises and border checkpoints certainly weren't among the candidates. Good thing he didn't slack off during urban combat training.

Just as he was about to leave, though, a metallic glint caught his eye. Instinctually, the marine brought his shotgun to the ready, moving close to the wall. When no noises came, he hazarded a glance behind the corner.

Now, he was never big on vehicles or anything, Doomguy believed himself to be a fairly utilitarian man: if a thing worked well enough, then it was good for him. But even he had to admit that the motorcycles parked behind the checkpoint were nice. One of them even had a green paintjob like his combat armor!

If there was one thing he noticed about this Hell that irked him - beyond the abundance of demons and the lack of free Wi-Fi - was the omnipresence of traffic and apparent lack of public transportation. At least the place lived up to its name.

Well… why should he care if one demon lost their ride? If anything, the owner might end up not needing it anymore soon enough.

A massive rumble filled the street. A brown head peeked out from behind a broken window, only to be met by a hailstorm of lead as a green blur passed by.

Doomguy was having the time of his life, driving with one hand as he held his assault rifle in the other, making liberal use of his main answer to most things demonic: bullets. And it didn't seem like he was running out anytime soon, for some reason. Had Hell done something to his weapons? Because he was certain to have used a lot more than thirty bullets, but still didn't have to reload.

Well, he wasn't complaining: it just made his job easier, and he still did have a lot of ammo stocked up in case the effect wasn't permanent.

For now though, he would be enjoying the all-you-can shoot buffet.

"...And this is the safety switch, you flip it to safe position." Cletus explained before demonstrating the motion with a flick of his thumb. "Like that, whenever you're not using the weapon to prevent accidentally shooting your foot off. The safety mechanism is different for all weapons so always remember to study the weapon you plan on using first before actually firing it."

Ralts hummed, nodding along with Cletus' explanation. "Alright, got it all. Thanks for teaching me this stuff, by the way."

"Oh no problem, it's nice to actually teach about something that I'm knowledgeable of."

"So… I don't want to sound impatient or anything, but do you think I could try a few shots?" The Brit held up his hands. "I know I'm hurrying along a bit too much, but I kinda need to know this stuff around here, you know?" He motioned towards an imp corpse strewn around, the result of yet another group of ferals trying to attack them.

"Oh, sure." Cletus said as the pair braced one of the demon corpses against a nearby semi-collapsed wall.

Ralts took the weapon in his hands, getting into a sort of awkward stance with the unfamiliar weapon.

"Remember to use both the front and rear sights when you're aiming to get a proper sight picture." Cletus instructed before lightly kicking his student's leg. "...And spread your legs out more, you're not gonna get proper follow-ups if you keep 'em stuck together like that."

After adjusting his stance as instructed, Ralts took aim. He let out three shots: the first hit the left side of the torso, the second barely missed the head, and the third embedded itself in the demon's eye.

"A good start, but we're still at a pretty close distance." Cletus hummed his approval. "Most pistols of this type have an effective range of around fifty meters so we should probably practice at a greater distance."

"Fifty meters..?" Ralts muttered under his breath.

Sloth, being just barely close enough to hear, made the math for him. "It's about one hundred and fifty feet. Just multiply by three."

"We don't use freedom units in my school, Sloth."

With a shrug, the lithe man turned to minding his own business while waiting for Alien to be finally done with Pandemonica's coffee.

"As I was about to say… it's best to keep the distance between you and your target as long as possible, within reason of course, which is why it's vital that you learn how to shoot the weapon accurately at longer ranges than 'in-your-face'."

Ralts shrugged. "Fair. Kinda hard to stay distant when I'm piggybacking on Alien though."

"Actually, about that. How come you keep doing that even when you're awake?"

The blonde man's eyes looked down, his body seemingly deflating. "That's… kind of a long story. You sure you wanna know?"

"If you want to tell me, I suppose."

"Well, the short of it is that medical procedures fucked my body up so Alien makes it easier on me."

Cletus, who was previously so focused on lecturing about his favorite subjects, turned back to look at his student, his expression one of sincere pity.

"Is that why you wanted me to teach you? Because you don't want to feel like a burden?"

Ralts turned towards Cletus, deep blue meeting grayish-brown with a harsher glare than he'd ever seen from the normally frail-looking man. "All I could do was run and hide while you guys got your asses kicked. Alien could've dodged that fireball at the start too, but I weighed him down so he had to take the hit. Then he had to hang back to protect me while you and Sloth dealt with the imps. What part of that doesn't scream 'burden' to you?"

Cletus couldn't take it anymore and hugged Ralts in response to the man's self-deprecation. His friend didn't make any move to keep him away, simply standing there and letting him do as he pleased.

"Dude, don't ever think of yourself as a burden. You may not think you're of much use to the rest of the group right now, but that's because you may just have not discovered what you're good at yet."

As the two broke away from the hug, Cletus continued to keep one of his hands on the blonde's shoulder.

"There is only one way to fix this, and that's summarized in two words." The scruffy man said with a grin. "Git. Gud. We'll make a marksman out of you yet."

The little pep talk was interrupted by a sharp clap. The two turned to see Pandemonica throwing an empty cup at Alien, while Sloth picked up the bag of supplies.

"We're moving again, gentlemen." With that she immediately began marching again, uncaring of whether they were following or not.

"Is it just me or does it feel like we're just an entourage of servants for her?"

"At least I know I am for sure," groused Alien as he came up to them. "She's gonna be riding my arse all the way until we're out of Hell, and I brought it on my head."

"Thank you for your sacrifice."

He chortled, in one of the rare cases where his smile was more than just a mouth movement. "Yeah sure. Anyways, wanna hop on?" He asked Ralts.

He glanced at the gun in his hands for a moment. "You know, I think I want to walk a little."

It hadn't lasted much, Ralts finding himself hanging by Alien's shoulders again within ten minutes, but he felt a bit better. Not long after that, they reached a massive warehouse: it sat smack-dab in-between two apartment complexes as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Compared to the buildings around, that zone seemed to be much better-kept, with clean streets and shiny metal doors on the warehouse instead of the rust and dust they'd expected. Also, way fewer demon guts. It stood like a monolith, the doors massive enough for two Hell Knights riding on each other's shoulders to fit through comfortably, and for a veritable horde of Pinkies to rush through without a problem.

While everyone stared with bated breath as the doors slid open, Cletus was the only one who picked up a seemingly minuscule detail. In several spots, perhaps chosen carefully to not be easily spotted, were engraved the letters 'UAC', over a triangle with smoothed corners.

"Why am I not surprised at this? Doomguy is here, of course the UAC will have tried something with this Hell too." His eyes narrowed as a question came up. "But what could they have wanted? Argent? No, the version we ran into was obviously Doom Guy, not Slayer. So portals, maybe."

He idly ran his fingers through his beard as he thought back on his lore knowledge regarding what little was actually revealed in the original two games of the nineties.

"The bigger question still is what happened to the expedition here? Did the people participating get stranded? Did they succeed? Did the UAC higher-ups just pull the plug because they didn't find what they were looking for and left all this stuff here? So many possibilities..."

He was pulled out of his musings as the doors finished opening with a loud clunk. One by one the lights turned on, illuminating a rather encumbered room filled with machinery of all kinds. And in the middle of it, was a platform with two arches sprouting out, a gap between the two preventing them from forming a full circle.

And on all of it, was the UAC logo.

As they walked inside, he took a closer look at the tech around him. Although it did look advanced enough for a space-faring company, there was something… old about it. Many of the pieces looked like they'd been repaired several times over the years, and the pieces used were visibly less advanced than the original components.

"Looks like it was fixed by a bunch of rednecks with homemade or second-hand parts, spit, and duct tape after eyeballing it for a couple of minutes. Either that or literally just a bunch of Ork Mekboyz whose idea of maintenance is throwing enough scrap metal onto something till it works."

Pandemonica had stepped in front of some sort of control terminal, the screen illuminating with a red hue - did everything have to be red there? - as she began to work, typing things. Perhaps coordinates, or the hellish equivalent of them.

"Welcome to the Amala Network," The demoness began. "Created many millennia ago by (insert demon name) as a way to aid the war effort against Beelzebub the exiled, this series of portals connects all the Circles, and can only be operated by demons. Please do not touch the tech, as most of it has origins unknown even to me, and fixing it is neither easy nor cheap." She finished glaring at Alien and Sloth, who slowly pulled their hands back.

"More like barely kept functioning way past its service life." Cletus decided to voice his thoughts. "I can clearly see the Union Aerospace Corporation logos. Even this thing's replacement parts are not native to Hell, so you guys certainly shouldn't be taking credit for its creation."

The demoness blinked at Cletus' comment. She then looked at the screen again. "So that is what the letters mean. We always thought it was (insert demon)'s signature or something along those lines." She then shrugged. "Regardless, the things are here so now they belong to us." With that, she placed her eye near the screen, allowing it to take a scan.

The portal whirred to life. One or two wires sparked, a few lights flickered, but beyond that everything seemed functional as the space between the arcs was filled by an azure swirl of light.

"What are you all waiting for? Time's wasting, let's move!"

"Forgive me for not trusting a piece of ancient portal technology that barely seems like it's holding together to not rip me apart on a molecular level the second I try to step through anything it produces."

The Sadistic Demon closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her hands subtly twitching at her sides being the only sign of her desire to throttle the human. But she couldn't, of course, both because of the pact she wanted to hold up, and because of her boss' standing orders. "This thing has been safe for ages, and will keep being safe when you're all nothing more than dust and bones. I'll even go first if it makes you stop complaining."

"Oh please do..."

He couldn't even finish the sentence as the demoness already had walked inside the portal… followed by a rope trailing on the ground. The rope went taut after a moment, and everyone was treated to the sight of Alien sliding on the ground towards the portal, the seemingly indestructible rope still tied around his waist. He gave a half-lidded stare as he passed by Cletus, seemingly more annoyed than anything else.

"Talk about being impatient." Cletus mumbled as he walked forward, pushing himself hands-first towards the surface of the portal.

Reluctant to leave their friend alone with the demoness for too long - who knew what she would do to him if given the chance - everyone filed into the portal, hopefully to come out of the other side intact.

He had finally found it. The entrance to the next level.

To his apparent lack of surprise, his old employer had been at its Hell-related shenanigans yet again if the amount of familiar logos plastered around the building that supposedly housed "the gateway" that his latest catch had been talking about were any indication.

From the marine's muscled arm came a squeaky voice."Uhh… W-will you let me go now?" The demon he held under his arm like a barrel asked. It gasped in elation as it was dropped to the ground.

The only answer it received came in the form of a motor revving to life. The demon's blood-curdling screams were lost in the cacophony of noise as the Scourge of Hell went to work with his trusty chainsaw, ripping his unfortunate victim to pieces in the process.

A dull thump signaled the end of the gruesome deed, the only thing left somewhat intact being the creature's head, which he consequently tore off what remained of the upper torso before heading into the building, in front of which he had parked his 'permanently borrowed' vehicle.

It was filled with UAC tech as he'd expected; most of the pieces he was passingly familiar with, having gone through a couple of portals before already. This portal, though, seemed far too old for UAC standards. If he were to hazard a guess, it might've been many, many thousands of years old… which made no sense, unless time in Hell flowed differently.

Too many questions, not enough answers. For the time all he could do was push forward, following his main objective: ending the threat that was demonkind.

Walking up to the main platform, he looked around for a while before finding what he was looking for, a scanner. He shoved the demon's head towards it face-first, and after a moment it gave a green light and an approving beep. The customary quick lightshow followed - accentuated by the lights flickering - and the portal was functioning.

Before he could take a step inside though, his eyes were drawn to the floor. Footprints, and fresh to boot. Couldn't have been more than a few hours old.

After a more thorough check, he found four different sets. High heels, army boots, sneakers… winter boots? Who would wear winter boots in Hell? His armor left the arms and abs uncovered - a flaw he regretted with every moment - and he was still suffering in the heat!

His mind was working on overdrive trying to figure out who these four could possibly be… before something clicked in his mind.

It was the trio, but they now had a fourth member. A woman… he assumed.

Or a very specific demon.

Of course, they might've not realized that she was the one he was searching for since the picture was so blurry! And if she'd tricked them into trusting her, then… There was no time. He had people to save.

Throwing away the demon's head, the marine jumped through the portal without a second thought, shotgun brought to bear and slug rounds ready to be loaded.

"...When you say lust, everybody always thinks about being horny all the time. It's not wrong, but there's so much more to it! There was that one guy a while ago that wanted to explore every nook and cranny of Hell, and he was sent here! Wanderlust, you know?"

Without waiting for an answer, the young demoness continued.

"And don't get me started on lust for knowledge, or power! It's the bread and butter of human society at this point! Yeah I get horny too, but I want something more, you get me?"

"Uhhuh." Her mother, Asmodeus, answered in a bored manner while laying on the couch, one arm glued to her crotch and the other to the remote flicking through the various local porn channels… pretty much every single one.

"Oh, why do I bother with you people," she sighed. That's what she got for trying to have a discussion with someone on a Thursday. Or a Friday, or a Monday. It was always the same.

It wasn't like she didn't like sex: she loved it, but there was something nagging at Modeus' mind lately, telling her that being horny wasn't all there was to life, even for a Lust demoness like her.

Suddenly, her tail twitched.

Someone new had entered Luxuria.

Even her mother seemingly stopped what she was doing to pay attention.

"Well… that's new. Isn't that what you were raving on about?" Her mother said. "Go check it out. Maybe whoever it is will be a good lay and get this inane fixation out of you, get you back on the wet and narrow."

Ugh, moms.

Chapter two dropped. Thanks to Cletus and Xager for their big help, along with everyone in the Fiction and Fuckups discord server for being there.

If you want to get updates on when the next chapter is ready, or yell at me for being late, feel free to join the server!

/68gAdfsTE4