"That's what you're wearing?"
Alex brushed off Spencer's disappointed look with a wave of her hand. "Considering you gave me eight hours notice, this was the best I could do." She readjusted the cat ears on her head and double-checked in the entryway mirror the cat whiskers she'd hastily drawn with her waterproof eyeliner a few minutes ago. The finishing touches on the basic costume were a pair of black jeans and a cozy turtleneck in the same color. "Let's call it my homage to Jack," she finished, shrugging at her unconcerned reflection. She turned back to him with a raised eyebrow that dared him to give another judgmental remark about her simplistic attire.
Spencer lifted his arms in silent surrender. "You're right. I should have mentioned it sooner." He lowered his hands to adjust the curly wig on his head.
Alex's grinned, forgetting her frown from seconds ago. "Serious question," she said. "How many people have ever guessed that your costume is based on the fourth Doctor?"
He gave her a look of delighted surprise. "You watch Dr. Who?"
"No," she answered with laugh, "not anymore anyway, but my dad was a big fan, and I watched the old episodes with him growing up." He opened the door and waited for her to leave before following into the hallway. She took out her keys to lock up, and repeated her question from before. "You didn't answer me though. How many people have ever recognized the inspiration behind your costume?"
"Well, I've never actually worn this costume for Halloween, just to conventions, so the success rate for recognition has been pretty high."
The both started toward the stairs, and she went down first but not before shooting him an incredulous look over her shoulder. "So you gave me shit for a last minute costume when you just recycled one from an old comic con?"
The wrinkle of worry between his eyebrows cleared when he noticed the teasing note to her question. "It was actually science fiction convention. Comic cons are more pop culture events."
"And I bet you knitted that scarf yourself," she said, ignoring his correction to her previous statement.
"I did," he affirmed with a nod, pride evident in his succinct response. He landed on the last stair behind her before continuing. "Just to be clear, I think you look really nice. I didn't mean to sound insulting."
"It's all right," she reassured. "I wasn't insulted. I actually have pretty good costumes most of the time. I have a critique partner back in San Diego who runs an Etsy shop for custom Halloween costumes. Last year she made me an amazing Luna Lovegood one. I probably would have recycled it myself if I hadn't left most of my extra things in storage."
He held up a hand in solemn vow, as if taking an oath in a courtroom. "Next time I'll give more advanced notice."
The unspoken promise in his words, that they would have a chance to do this again next year, hung in the air between them.
Her hand paused on the door to the entrance of their building.
They were alone in the lobby since most of the children in the building along with their respective parents had left some time ago for prime trick-or-treating hours. All that filled the noiseless space was the hum of the heat overhead. The throbbing quiet wrapped around them like an intimate shell.
Lifting her fingers off the handle, she turned around and gave him a searching look as she tried to decipher if he'd understood the hidden meaning in his own words. His hazel eyes swam with unspoken emotions: apprehension, fear, and a healthy dose of longing. Emotions she recognized immediately because she felt them too.
Alex reached forward and slid her fingers up the edges of his jacket to the striped knit of his homemade scarf. Without taking time to rethink the action, she pulled on both ends of the dangling fabric. His eyes softened then fluttered closed in willing surrender before he let himself tip forward into her waiting kiss. The kiss was soft at first, gentle as he let her lead. She pressed her closed mouth to his, learning the topography of the dips and curves of his mouth with her own. He tilted his head, willing her silently to take things a bit further.
"You'll have to do it," she whispered against his lips, answering the silent request. "I'm a bit out of practice."
He pulled back a fraction but stayed close enough for his breath to still mingle with hers. He studied her silently for a heartbeat, looking for something in her face that told him it was safe to go back for more. He must have found what he was looking for, because after a moment of unbearable tension, he dove back to her mouth with a vengeance, his hands sliding into her hair and yanking down to tilt her mouth to a better angle.
A thrill shot through Alex at the unexpectedly assertive move from her typically mild mannered neighbor.
She lost track of time as he took control of the kiss, leading her to places she had wanted to go but was too afraid to wander alone. After what could have been moments or minutes – she'd completely lost all grasp and concept of time by this point – he moved back, lips reddened and cheeks flushed. She didn't have a mirror, but judging by the rapid pace of her heart, Alex figured she looked pretty much the same.
Not knowing what else to say, she just voiced the first words that came to mind. "Damn, Spencer."
He was still breathing heavily, as if they'd just run a mile rather than make out like horny teenagers in the lobby, but he managed an expression both bashful and pleased. His hands that had, until now, remained in her hair began a slow slide from the nape of her neck toward each cheek. Once her face was cradled comfortably between each palm, he leaned closer to place a final, tender kiss on her mouth.
"We should probably go," he said, lips still pressed to hers. He said it like he would rather turn right around and head back upstairs, but both knew they weren't yet ready for that.
She backed away slowly as his hands fell away to his sides. "We really should. I'm looking forward to meeting your friends."
The exhilaration in his eyes melted from lust into excitement at the mention of his friends. "They're looking forward to meeting you too, especially my friend Penelope. When I told her your name, she answered with ten straight text messages, all in capital letters. Apparently she reads your books."
Alex grinned, imagining Spencer being a bit overwhelmed by his friend's enthusiasm about meeting her. Most of the readers she'd met were very passionate in their excitement about her work. One woman at a recent book signing had burst into tears, telling her that her latest book had completely changed her life for the better.
Interacting with her fans was one of the things Alex liked best about writing for people who loved a happy ending. They made up an overwhelmingly uplifting community, a positive sentiment reflected in the books they all loved to read.
After they finally stepped outside into the chilly night, Alex spotted their Lyft and raised a hand in recognition to the driver. Before climbing in, she beamed a smile back at Spencer that sparkled brighter than the streetlamps illuminating her face. "Well, if she's half as great as you, then, I can't wait to meet her."
She turned to climb into the car before he could answer but could feel the smile he aimed at her retreating back.
On the ride over to his friends' party, they both avoided further discussion of the kiss, instead, retreating to the safety of a conversation about each iteration of the Doctor and which interpretation Spencer liked best.
To be fair, it was more of a one-sided conversation with him doing most of the talking and Alex attempting to keep up with the rapid-fire disposal of information. Not that she minded. Listening to Spencer talk about something that excited him was a bit like reading the world's most interactive and joyful Wikipedia page.
As rapidly as their discussion had begun, it ended just as abruptly. He broke off midsentence as their car pulled up to a beautiful gated home. "We're here."
"Oh," Alex exclaimed, thrown off by the sudden shift in topic. She turned to admire the home while Spencer gave their thanks to the driver and ducked out ahead of her to hold the door. "It's beautiful." Alex admired the home decorated in an array of twinkling lights shaped like little bats that lined the gate and outlined the pathway toward the front door.
She followed Spencer up the walkway and found a quartet of jack-o'-lanterns lined on the front stoop to welcome them. On each end were two larger pumpkins she assumed were meant to be the parents of the little gourd family with the two littlest ones nestled between them.
"I helped with those," he informed her proudly.
"And Michael and Henry couldn't have asked for a more enthusiastic teacher." This affirmation came from the front door where a blonde lady came out to join them on the front porch.
The sounds of laughter and music drifted out the open door behind her to join them in the night. Alex thought she could pick out the beginning notes of "This Is Halloween" crackling through unseen speakers somewhere in the backyard.
"Hi," the lady said, reaching out a hand. "You must be Alex."
Alex had never been much of an extrovert, but being an author, a job that demanded a fair amount of networking, she had been forced to practice the art of socializing over the years and slipped into small talk mode with ease.
"And you must be JJ." Alex took the proffered hand with a firm shake.
The other woman affirmed her assumption with a nod. "It's nice to finally meet you." Her friendly expression clouded over with concern then as if she suddenly remembered something unpleasant. "Spence told me about what happened with your friend. I'm really sorry."
It was a struggle to keep her smile in place, but somehow she managed. "I appreciate that, thank you." Suddenly very eager to escape this conversation, she asked, "Sorry, do you have a restroom I can duck into really quick?"
If she realized the reason for the sudden request, JJ didn't indicate it, instead waving her inside and pointing towards a small powder room to the left of the front entrance. "Just over there," she said, following that initial response with a softly whispered, "Just take your time."
Alex's throat clogged with emotion at the sympathetic warmth in her voice. Blinking away an unexpected sheen of tears, she looked at Spencer quickly, knowing instantly from the concern on his face he had deduced the reason for her current distress. Not caring to explain further, she rushed out, "I'll just be a minute," before dashing off in the indicated direction.
Once the door of the restroom was closed behind her, Alex bent over and gasped for air, her back pressed against the painted white wood. The indentations of the grooved wood dug painfully into her spine, but she barely felt the discomfort as she tried to recall her therapist's instructions for what to do when she felt one of her panic attacks coming on.
She didn't experience them nearly so often as she had right after Matt's death, not now, nearly two years after he was gone. She'd had one the night after coming to D.C., right after the reality of her situation had set in.
On that night, she'd sat in her lonely little apartment, staring at the still taped-up moving boxes that contained the remnants of her old life before proceeding to have a full-blown panic attack. Thankfully, it had eventually dissolved into a good long cry instead, once she'd managed to get her breathing and heart rate back under control.
JJ hadn't meant to trigger her grief with the mention of Amanda's death, an unwelcome reminder of how fleeting life could be.
Grief was weird like that.
One moment she was perfectly fine, and the next, it felt as if a load of bricks had been dropped on her head without warning, threatening to smother her alive with sadness.
"Recognize you're having a panic attack," she heard Dr. Glenn's voice in her head. Yeah, no problem there. "Take deep, even breaths. Then try closing your eyes and picturing something that makes you happy. Something you can focus on besides whatever thoughts are causing you to panic." Taking another deep breath, she tried it.
Alex closed her eyes and searched for an image that made her happy. It didn't take long for Spencer's face to float into the clouded black beyond her closed lids. She smiled instantly, seeing him in the costume he was so proud of rather than his regular, everyday clothes. The face threatened to dissolve away, leaving her again with nothing but the dark blankness, but she stubbornly held on to the image, willing her breaths to slow and her heart to calm.
Eventually, it worked, the imaginary picture of him spreading a comforting sensation through her tense muscles as her heart slowed to a steady pace rather than a frantic marathon. Her breath was the last thing to even out, but it finally fell into line as well. Her lungs back under control, she finally stood up in order to move away from the door and chance a look in the mirror.
Glancing at her flushed face and still in tact whiskers, Alex breathed a sigh of relief that this time the attack hadn't ended in a sob fest. If her amateur handiwork of eyeliner drawn cat whiskers disappeared, she'd have an even more average costume than before.
The sound of the party drifted under the crack below the door as a reminder that she had locked herself in the bathroom like a socially inept weirdo. She couldn't even manage to act like a normal, undamaged human for five minutes after walking in the door.
JJ had seemed to understand, but it was embarrassing nonetheless. Resolved to apologize to her hostess for the bizarre exit, Alex squared her shoulders back and turned away from the mirror toward the door.
Jerking it open, she didn't find JJ or Spencer on the other side like she was expecting but instead a blonde, bespectacled woman who vibrated with such intense excitement that she practically resonated with the barely contained energy of a freshly struck tuning fork. Alex hardly had time to take in her elaborate costume that looked like a modern twist on a Victorian dress (with the hair and accessories to match) before she jolted towards her with the friendliest of smiles.
"I can't believe I finally get to meet you," she said coming closer. Alex noticed the black flowers woven into her elaborate hairdo bouncing in elation right along with their owner. "Oh, oops! I should've introduced myself, right," she scolded herself out loud after noticing Alex's confused expression. "Hi," she stuck out a hand sporting a black lace, fingerless glove. "I'm Penelope."