A/N: Apologies, I've been working on writing a web novel and the majority of my time outside of work has been placed into that. Yeah, dudes, in short, this story will require a beta reader and I'm all ears, though I'd prefer someone at least the age of 18. But that's not important, what's important is that you can expect this fic to have a much more frequent and consistent upload time.
Again reminder that we will diverge from canon in many many ways. I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, leave any suggestions in the comments below.
Oh yeah, this story gets updated here before AO3. Go figure.
Sick But Not Twisted
Chapter Four: Grayed Morality
Sometimes Juzo would get drunk and just start arm-wrestling people—and he would arm wrestle anyone.
Civilians, shinobi, samurai, children…you name it. And he usually won, too.
The leg of the chair went flying across the room as Juzo slammed his opponent's hand into the floor, sending him and the blind brown-haired ninja into the floor as the bar suddenly erupted with cheering and inebriated grabbing and hugging one another.
Laughing and singing.
One Kunochi was teaching two older men to dance to the beat of a drum…
Socialization just wasn't Itachi's thing, nothing she participated in or knew how to participate in. So while Juzo was the type of loner who just attracted people due to his commanding personality.
Itachi on the other hand kept a low profile and stayed in the back of the bar.
Nobody seemed to care who they were
She remained in her typical dark civilian clothing…absent the Uchiha crest.
She had tried finishing some drink that Juzo had promised she'd liked, but it was much too bitter and she left it half full.
Instead, she rested the side of her face on her hand and enjoyed the evening breeze of her open window seat, when a hawk flew in through the open window and landed promptly on her shoulder.
She gave it a quick pet and a crumb of bread, Itachi took a note from its talons, the hawk flew off and Itachi read the note.
Oye,
Come outside… yeah, right now.
Sincerely,
–Kakashi
What?
He was in town already?
She had told him she wouldn't be busy for a few days while Pain-sama dealt with something important with Konan and Tobi.
So that's when she snuck out, only to find an empty cobblestone street and two abandoned horse carriages, tattered and looted.
That was until she felt the faintest prescience through the air and turned only to see a dark figure emerge in brown robes from the alleyway.
She looked him up and down and his one eye did the same.
"How did you get here so fast?" She said, gesturing for him to retreat further back into the alleyway and he did, Itachi following.
"I had some help, it wasn't a long or dangerous ride, no need to worry."
Silence.
Their footsteps stopped.
"Did you eat, perhaps…I could fetch you something from inside–" she looked back ready to dash into the building at a moment's notice—
"No, I'm fine, not hungry." he waved.
The wind whistled down the alleyway, the air a perfect breeze.
Should she say more?
What was she even supposed to say?
Was she even supposed to do anything?
Why couldn't she figure out something that seemed so simple?
"So, what brings you and your partner out here?" Kakashi took his time to lean against the wall, hands in pockets.
"Ah, you know… typical S-class criminal activity."
"Really?" A single gray eyebrow raised and she let herself giggle.
Then blandly Itachi said "No, I'm only kidding. All I can tell you is that we're currently on hiatus—as of right now, the two of us are working autonomously."
"I see... The work of a shinobi never ends, still have to eat."
"You still haven't told me how you got here so fast. You wouldn't exert yourself on a two-day trip…unless—" she looked at him in question "You didn't race here with Guy-san, did you?"
"I'm solo."
"Right, you wouldn't bring him."
"No…he was too preoccupied, anyways. He actually might still be reading the Nidaime's: a thousand ways to defeat an Uchiha. He wasn't too happy the last time we all fought." Saying this, Kakashi was left scratching his face, like he felt sort of bad for his rival.
Right, Guy would be the one to take their encounter personally and use it as fuel to get stronger.
Also, Itachi had read a thousand ways to defeat an Uchiha, back when she first joined the ranks of anbu and she had to admit that Tobirama Senju knew exactly what he was talking about…
And that's something she truly liked about him.
Guy was a go-getter.
"No doubt he'll be stronger, I should follow him and take up some sort of training schedule. My skills have been rather lackluster."
Kakashi looked at her as if to say 'really, lackluster?'
"When Guy wants it, he goes and gets it. Which is why I like to compete with him. In that regard, we're a lot similar."
"Hm. He's come a long way, you used to embarrass him in every single one of you guy's challenges. And I Won't lie to you, I used to root for him—the underdog always seemed more interesting to me…"
"He had it coming."
"One time you made fun of his eyebrows…"
"See that one—I apologized for, a long time ago."
"Was that really an apology?"
"I got him chocolate." Kakashi shrugged, reminding her they'd already been through this.
"Some old lady gave you that, the same lady whose cat you saved from a tree."
"Again, I gave him chocolate," Kakashi replied like it was no big deal, but she knew he was just an emotional stunt stump.
Something sort of like herself…
But the chocolate, Itachi would have greatly appreciated.
Still…it was hardly an apology.
"I see. And you two are still best friends." She said blandly.
"Maybe we should move from this dark alley; I prefer a dark forest. Maybe we can find a spot so we can get away."
Itachi grabbed him, clasping his gloved hands with purple fingernailed hands, and began dragging him through the cool air of the late-night hours and out into the neighborhood forest.
An owl hooted and the evening animals chirped.
They found a spot, in a small clearing where the moon was in full view—bright, big, and glowing.
It was just like her days in Anbu.
They were side by side and she gently brushed up against him before leaning closer into his chest, head falling under his chin as he wrapped his arm around her waist.
They had had moments like this in the past, though never under the pretext of what was the beginning of a taboo relationship.
They didn't talk much did they?
Every moment it felt like someone could walk upon them and both of their life's work would be over in a mere moment.
Itachi knew what she was doing was selfish.
But this overwhelming warmth overtook her every cell, certainly superseding any of her paranoia.
A warmth built up within her and spread throughout her entire body, a comforting heat.
This was the comfort she'd been lacking.
He pulled her in and they simply hugged.
The intimacy, the aroma of someone she'd come to find infatuation with. And—being so comfortable, Itachi let go and rested her head on the man's shoulder, shutting her eyes, and for the first time in what felt like forever, she truly was relaxed.
Something she hadn't felt in years.
If only he knew how much she felt for him…
How much their time in Anbu mattered to her.
"Oye! Who the hell is that down there—" a voice called
That's what happens when you let your guard down.
Itachi's eyes shot open, both Kakashi and Itachi immediately breaking apart and turning around to the source. There, in the trees stood six ninja, each of them sporting a different village's headband, they all looked at Kakashi and Itachi with interest before something flashed over all of their faces.
Rogue shinobi like her, though she could tell that they were nothing but fodder.
"Looks like we caught a couple here. Good, we needed a few more fingertips for our ritual."
Wait, what? And their what?
"Hold on! That's Kakashi-hatake of Konoha!" One of them pointed with a slight tremble.
"Wait—no way and that's—Itachi Uchiha—clan killer Itachi Uchiha."
Yeah, it's been years, but that title came with no pride.
An icy shudder spread throughout the men before one of them commented "Wait, aren't you guys enemies, why were you hugging?"
"Were we not supposed to see that?"
Silence…
They were a little uncanny...weird, and did she hear them correctly when they said a ritual?
wasting no more time, Itachi's sharingan glowed.
"I guess you two couldn't help yourselves? Man…"
"S-class ninja or not, we need your fingers. And selling your heads will both make us rich and famous shinobi!"
"Oye, I remember someone telling me not to ignore flee on sight orders. Something about them being in place for a reason—both Hatake and Uchiha have flee on sight orders in all five nations!"
"Um…yeah! Maybe we should just dip on out of here—my mother-in-law's cooking a huuuge turkey for dinner tonight!"
"Naw, screw that, there's six of us. We got this!"
Itachi and Kakashi gazed into each other's eyes.
They would definitely have to put in more effort to keep their secret—well, a secret.
"All of them." Kakashi said, almost like an order back on team Ro.
And with that said, in mere moments Kakashi and Itachi swiftly and painlessly as possible, mowed down the six attacking ninja—leaving not a single shinobi with a functioning—living body.
It pained her, really.
It was Just more needless death. Nothing serious, right?
Days later…
When Kakashi spotted Genma in the marketplace, he tried to keep it as casual and normal as possible.
And what he meant by that was, as Kakashi was passing Genma by in the street, he shot Genma a head nod in which Genma did the same and the two carried on about their business.
At least, that's what was supposed to happen.
What actually happened was that Genma stopped, paused, and then somehow ended up beside Kakashi
"Hey, Kakashi."
"Hm?"
He sincerely hoped it wasn't about earlier that week—
Genma adjusted the senbon in his mouth "It's been a while since we've pulled out the Hiraijin no Jutsu—feels good to still use Minato-sama's jutsu."
"Minato-sensei's teachings did go a long way", Kakashi replied, hoping the conversation did dive too deep into why he needed it.
"It got me curious to know if your secret mission worked out alright."
"Mission accomplished, Genma, it was a week ago after all, if I had failed I probably wouldn't be here."
"Well, if you ever need us to jump you anywhere real quick let us know, Minato-sama still has a bunch of kunai placed in safe houses spread throughout the continent, in short", Genma came in closer "we can get you places."
Wow, that was all extremely convenient.
But was there any other reason Genma was so eager to help him?
"I appreciate the gesture, but I don't think I'll be needing it anytime soon."
"Oh, no issue. Just know, we're here if you need it, again." Genma whispered through his hand while elbowing Kakashi like he really wanted to use the technique again.
There was no need, he didn't need them to waste their chakra for his own personal issues.
Not when it was selfish.
Not when he still didn't understand his own feelings completely.
Must've been a fun technique to use, especially If Genma was so excited to put it into play, he fondly remembered how convenient it was for Minato-sensei to get back and forth home.
But on the same coin, Kakashi was a little cautious, there was no way he could let himself get caught, not when everything he's worked for to better Konoha in his own way.
"I'll let you know." Kakashi gave a reassuring eye grin before, politely excusing himself and continuing his march home to bathe and soak his muscles in ice.
And he almost made it inside his apartment with no hassle—actually Kakashi was able to just make it into his apartment and pass the table portrait of Team Minato.
Well, that was until he became acutely aware of Hiruzen-sama's prescience, relaxing on Kakashi's living room sofa.
"You know, I would've cleaned up some had I'd known you'd be visiting, Hokage-sama."
Though Kakashi remained calm, he was well aware of the third's wisdom and ability to pick up on things. Hiruzen-sama must have known he left the village that week, but Kakashi could only assume that the hokage was nowhere to figure out why.
"Now Kakashi…Your home is as clean and meticulous as ever."
"...get it from my sensei and father before me."
That made Hiruzen laugh "come, you should be as comfortable as myself in your own home." He gestured for him to sit and of course, Kakashi did, the third being one of the only people he didn't mind being told where to sit in his own dwelling. "Work never ends…stress never ends. All you can really do is find ways to manage. Small moments like sitting on an old friend's couch—don't make fun of my simple amusement. "
"I read Icha Icha, trust that I won't hurt any feelings, hokage-sama."
"Ah, yes. I've been meaning to talk to you about that…"
Oh, shit, he finally caught on—and was going to tell him reading those were inappropriate to read while on duty.
And like that things would be tenfold more boring "I know what you're going to say."
For some reason that made Hiruzen's eyes widen and with a quick flick of a few hand signs that most people would've never been able to see, he spawned his pipe "Y-You do? Is it that obvious?"
"And in my defense—Minato-sensei used to read them too."
"What? Minato, too?" For some reason, the older hokage sighed, like he was relieved.
Maybe that was a good sign.
"So that makes it easier…"
"Easier?"
No, Kakashi wasn't yet ready to give up his babies—
They both just said interrupted each other
"I could get into the series, but would you say its too much for this old man to hand—"
"I'm sorry hokage-sama, but these things are my life I don't want to do away—"
"Do away?"
"Get into the series?"
They both just stared at one another, and it dawned on him that he might just be able to add another one to the fandom.
"Kakashi—we will talk about this later.", replied Hiruzen dutifully.
Kakashi crossed his arms, "I agree."
"Now, what I truly came here to talk about is of most importance, Kakashi. So please, no freakouts."
Now the copy ninja was silent, shot up, and in a second grabbed some wine for him and Hiruzen.
So, Hiruzen continued, "As you're aware, Naruto wasn't quite happy with your departure after promising to help him with his shuriken jutsu."
"Well, I certainly still plan to show him the jutsu. But isn't it Jiraiya-sama's turn to watch him?"
"Well—that's exactly what I wanted to address."
"Hm?"
"Two days ago, Jiraiya received intel on unusual activity between Orochimaru and some secret criminal organization, he has gone to investigate."
Wait, what?
But it was his turn to watch Naruto, sure Orochimaru was a traitor that needed to be brought in, but then if Jiraiya was there…
Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek "Wait, so who's watching Naruto?"
To be honest, Naruto didn't even hear his alarm! He may or may not have been dreaming of himself with his foot on a defeated Sasuke's chest, smiling like the gentleman he knew he could be as the entire class, including a super surprised Sakura and Shiksmaru—before he could start listing off the names of every single student—
He got whacked by something wet, like a freaking washcloth, and sent him into the floor with a grunt "Doof!"
"Wake up kid, don't you hear the alarm?" Gamakichi replied, grabbing naruto by the collar of his shirt and shaking him "You're late for school, again!"
"Ah, don't tell me—please don't tell me—Ero-sanin left me with you?" Leaving the blond to scoot away in his pajamas, nails digging into the floor "Dude, really? I'm better off alone!"
"And two squads of anbu posted in the general area…" said the Sandaime
Well, that and the juice certainly calmed Kakashi's nerves.
Not that he thought Naruto was in any danger within the confines of Konoha's walls.
But Jiraiya-sama being pulled away on such impulsive notice made Kakashi wonder exactly what Orochimaru did to pull the other sanin from an important task.
"I'll visit—make sure Naruto and Gamakichi don't accidentally start a fire or something."
Which wasn't too ridiculous of a possibility—they'd flooded the apartment last time.
"Jiraiya wanted you to know that he'll most certainly make up for his time loss."
"Or… he could make up for his time loss by, you know, finishing the next installment."
"You know he likes to take his time and do research."
"I don't knock him on doing his research, but he enjoys the research part way too much."
"Oh…that man never changes." And with that Hiruzen chuckled, before he looked over at Kakashi as if he'd forgotten something and that something was extremely important "Oh, yes, it's referring to the genin squad you'll be leading in little more than a year's time, after graduation. Hmm, let me see here."
A giant vanilla envelope ended up in Hiruzen's hand, he handed it to Kakashi and the jounin was immediately met with the profiles of Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Naruto Uzumaki.
That's right…Naruto and Sasuke would be graduating from the academy.
He wondered if Itachi even cared about that? It felt like she did, which was abundantly weird—but being around her, once you got past the impassiveness and murder, it was like having the normal loving Itachi from his memories.
The third would never approve, he'd look at Kakashi differently.
And that was the issue, Kakashi didn't understand why she was such an anomaly.
Or what was even going on with that girl in the first place?
Her being attractive couldn't have been a factor either, that wasn't enough to make him forget such criminal acts.
But that didn't seem like her.
So would she care about Sasuke graduating or even Naruto graduating for that matter?
Or was she only concerned about the vessel that'll give her better eyes?
Maybe he could take advantage of his situation, use it to gather intel on the Itachi and her entire organization while they were at it.
When they were younger in anbu, she seemed woefully invested in Sasuke's training and certainly interested in Naruto, despite only having a hunch as to why Kakashi was so interested in the secret container of the Kyuubi.
But Kakashi had to bring himself back to focus "…Leading? Well, that's only if I pass them…"
"You have a set of highly skilled students, all of which I have no doubt in my mind will graduate."
Hopefully, especially with Kakashi's help, Naruto had been having trouble replicating the clone jutsu.
"But will they pass my test?"
And the old man smiled as bright an explosion "Of course, but that, only time may tell, Kakashi."
So many secrets.
Her feet dug into yellow sand, a cool wind hitting them as the desert began to drop in temperature by like 15 degrees, the sun was falling below the horizon, so she was no longer sweating in her robe, straw hat on, and collar over her face. Both of them.
So many lies.
But that was certainly just the life of a double agent. She always lied, she held secrets and she murdered people when necessary—it was only about three notches more extreme than Anbu, but you got the point.
The deceit was weighing on her mind like a washing machine filled with cinder blocks.
Itachi felt like a deceitful swine, not only to her comrades back in Konoha but to the tall silent Juzo who seemed quiet and peacefully content after their latest job.
Their tread through the land of wind wasn't the most pleasant, she definitely wasn't one who enjoyed sand between her toes or well…between everywhere for that matter.
It was luck that they found some random town, encircled by a huge formation of plateaus, and when they entered it didn't take long to spot an in with a welcome sign that seemed to have melted in the desert heat.
They were moments from entering the rundown bar and in….
"Itachi, I think it's time we called it—how long have we been up, three days, already? "
Yeah…and she was feeling weaker than usual.
"About that."
"Well, I'm gonna go eat and then hit the sack. Let me know if you wanna join me for supper—but I'm definitely taking a lucky lady back to my room—don't wai—"
But Juzo was rudely interrupted "Hello, hello. Yes hello!"
When they turned to this man who had a brown-clay color goatee, a smile that seemed way too forced, and weirdly enough he was clad in an all-black suit, white dress shirt, and black tie. Oh, he also had this huge black briefcase that he held calmly in his hand.
Itachi didn't know what to make of him, despite the fact that wearing a suit in the desert was probably worse than their Akatsuki robe.
When the two looked at him, he gulped looking up at the towering Juzo and then Itachi "You two are shinobi? He then pulled out his bingo book, switched to a page, stopped when he was satisfied with his spot, and turned the book around to show them the page, where a photo of a rather angry-looking Juzo posed in front of a camera with his arms crossed.
—
Wanted:
Dead or Alive
Juzo Biawa
Reward: $412,997
X_Yagura
(More details on the next page)
...
—
"This is you." He placed an index, Juzo looked at him as if to say 'so what?' and Itachi blinked at him blankly. "And this is you."
He then flipped through another sum of pages and landed on Itachi's and showed her.
Woosh went the wind!
—
Wanted:
Dead or Alive
Itachi Uchiha
Reward: $450, 877
X_Danzo Shimura
(More details on the next page)
…
—
"Huh, it doesn't say that you two worked together, however."
"So, you know that we might be the most dangerous people you'll ever encounter and yet you still had the balls to walk up to us and show us our wanted pages? I can respect that, but why shouldn't I cut you down for so rudely interrupting us? I've done so for less."
"Because I can pay you double the amount you guys are both worth. But only after you complete this job.
The mention of money brought Juzo to a standstill, his ears perking like an antenna. "Double our own worth…both of us?"
"Right on, yes!"
"Nonsense, you'd have to be some sort of rich." Juzo argued, letting out a doubtful laugh.
In response, the suited man opened his briefcase to reveal as enough Ryo to cover living expenses for life, so Itachi logically had to consider that this could certainly be a setup.
Not the smartest of setups, mind you.
"Well, let me explain and introduce myself…the name is Charlie and I am the 50% owner of C & W's Chocolates and sweet-wonders."
"Chocolates?" Itachi broke her silence, as she thought of all the milk chocolate she would sneak and eat on team Ro, because admittedly Itachi had a sweet tooth, and her sudden jubilation at the mention of chocolate—no matter how short-lived, did not go unnoticed by Juzo and Charlie.
"Mh, the infamous Itachi Uchiha likes sweets." Charlie replied, ironically "No, but the job is a little sensitive and it would be better if we didn't have prying ears. Nothing too crazy for you two, surely it'll be a piece of cake. Here! I'll take you to a better place to stay in, my suite. There, I'll explain what is needed, away from any wandering ears."
"Well, we're a bit tired, so I hope you're not joking for your own sake because if it turns out to be some trick, I'm going for the jugular." he pointed a finger and Itachi just rolled her eyes.
Sure, it could always be a trap, but this man indeed looked as if he had an issue he was willing to pay them to do.
And in the blankest tone Itachi declared "If he tries anything, I'll use Tsukuyomi on him. Think about it, Juzo, there are some fates worse than death and I happen to be proficient in executing one of them."
That left the man scratching his head nervously "Ohhh…when you say it so emotionlessly it really creeps me out."
Juzo just grinned, "Get used to it, now c'mon show us your suite, let's get this over with my back hurts! And I could definitely use some food!"
"Onigiri? I have some leftover in a scroll." Itachi suggested.
"No, after the mission, we'll get grub—now, twice our own worth, I like how that sounds. We'll go to his suite, figure out his game and collect…easy as shuriken practice."
She didn't see any flaws in his plan, Itachi doubted there was anyone in the small town that could catch them off guard, but she stuck to her basics and remained vigilant.
But you see, before they even took two steps in that direction, a voice yelled out to them and the three immediately turned, Charlie staring at the man who called them, some weird guy in a purple tux, that truly made him stand out like a penguin in a pride of lions. The purple tux guy had a bit more gray on his beard than Charlie—as a matter of fact he looked old enough to birth Charlie
"Charlie!"
"William!"
They both did a slow jog, before headbutting each other and then from that position glaring at one another.
This left Juzo scratching his head and mumbling about this cutting into his mealtime, while Itachi found herself missing anbu missions back in Konoha, which never had something this weird and trivial occur.
"Oh I see, you're talking with shinobi, huh? Probably trying to kill me! You're no good Charlie, you can't have it all to yourself!"
"Last month we were down 12% in domestic sales, and it only happened after you put that stupid ramen flavor chocolate on the market!"
"Stupid?" William grabbed his heart "That's being innovative—that's what you lack—creativity and innovation, you're all about numbers. Ramen chocolate is delicious and you're ignorant!"
"Me? I'm ignorant! What type of stupidity is ramen chocolate? Ramen flavored chocolate?! you know what I heard when the kids were talking about the yucky new flavor in the candy shop? They'd rather eat Mestle!"
"They're just kids, what do they know?"
"Kids are the majority of our consumer base!"
"Maybe the product was made for adults, huh? Did you ever think of that, Charlie? That 12% we could have made back when the flavor started to catch on! But no, instead you brought shinobi to kill me!"
Juzo looked away whistling like he had heard nothing, while Itachi couldn't be bothered to stop looking directly at them.
The wind kicked up a mini-wirl of sand.
"Oh, William, I didn't want to do this like this nor did I want it to get this far…You're not a bad guy, so I'll give you one option: Leave and give all ownership of the factory to me and you can retire with 20% of all profit!"
"Malarkey! You can't take from me my entire world—my entire life, I brought you into the business!"
"And now I'm salvaging what the past you has created."
"Bullshit! Bulltshit, that's bullshit and you know it! Listen here, hear me!" He turned his back to Charlie and pointed at both Itachi and Juzo "I'll pay you double what he's offering! Doubt if you go ahead and kill him right now!"
Juzo tapped his teeth "Double?"
Itachi did an internal facepalm.
Right now? Right in broad daylight?
And for a tick she mentally checked out of the entire situation, it made her wonder what was going on in Konoha…Sasuke…Kakashi-senpai, what were those two doing?
"Don't listen to him, I'll triple the Ryo! Remember I came to you first!" Charlie pointed to himself.
"Triple?" Juzo shrugged, but looked at William expectantly like he was going to make a larger offer…
"Quadruple! The agreed amount!"
…and indeed, he did.
Juzo was left with his mouth agape. They would have months of living wages with that, and she at least understood his excitement.
"No! No! Listen here! I'll match whatever he's offering, plus some. You hear me? His offer…plus some!" Charlie's voice was desperate and the two business partners went off arguing and bantering with one another, leaving both Itachi and Juzo to remain awkwardly in the same spot.
"I'll do the same!"
Weirdly enough, at some point when Itachi looked away, the two began wrestling with one another, flinging each other in the sand and ruining their beautifully tailored suits.
And that's when Juzo brought out his sword and flung it into the sand beside them, sending a heart-stopping metallic noise to echo and both Charlie and William ceased with William holding Charlie in a chokehold.
Juzo was in front of them "So…your both offering to match and beat the other in pay, huh? Two million if I kill one of you…but, who do we kill—perhaps we need more incentive." but, then almost as if he had the most ingenious thought, Juzo said "Or maybe, we could just kill both of them and get a collective, 4 million?"
Charlie and William both bulged their eyes.
"That's not how it works, Juzo.", Itachi informed.
"Huh? I'm guessing they'd give us 2 million if we complete the job, but if we kill them both, we can complete both jobs, double the cash."
See, Juzo's words definitely disturbed the two business partners.
"I'm sure we can slay them and take whatever belongings they have too, I mean, they're just as scummy as us."
Just as scummy…
What purpose did they have in killing those two? Sure, they could get away with it easily and be on their merry way, but why do that?
"Look what you did, you tried to hire dangerous shinobi to do me in and now we're both done!" William said, still shaking.
"I wouldn't have to if you could pull your damn weight old man! You ruin everything!"
"You ruined dinner last night, my lady guest and I were going to chow down on fine gourmet ramen, and you had to bounce in and try to show off!"
"What?! You old damn fool, she was using you as a free meal ticket, that's why she left without going to be with you! Have some sense with your money!"
"She left because you began lecturing her on the history of cocoa beans!"
Okay?
Anyways….
Even if there would be money to pocket after killing them, it didn't matter, the entire situation suddenly became meaningless to her—she didn't want to take more unnecessary lives.
So it was decided.
"Cocoa bean history is interesting history and you know it!"
"No that young lady didn't think so, you're the real fool here!""
Having absolutely had enough, Itachi interrupted, "Juzo, we're leaving."
"Huuuhh? Did I hear you say that we're leaving?"
"Indeed, we have no business with them, this is below us."
"The price they're offering for a head, that's just something I don't want to pass up, okay, okay—how about just one?"
"No."
"But why not? You don't like the sound of 4 million ryu? I'm sure we can make it five, these two look loaded." he said bluntly.
"These two are about as pathetic as they come", she said, though only half meaning it because she understood that everyone and every situation had its own story. Charlie and William both looked at Itachi, their eyes like that of a frightened baby panda—she didn't want to kill them or anyone else just in the name of money, she'd done enough of that. "Juzo, this job is below us, we're leaving."
All three of the men gave Itachi a perplexed gaze, Juzo even picked up his sword and scratched the back of his head with the back of his sword's hilt.
"Below us?" Juzo looked at Charlie and William, purple and black-suited men, who lay in the sand fearfully hugging one another like they were staring into the eyes of some sort of monster. But then he groaned "Not below me….Itachi, do you know what we can do with 2 million, in one day?"
Yeah, she was well aware! Yet, still—
"We already have a good sum of wealth, killing them doesn't seem all that amusing to me, they're worms—I'm sparing them."
"Sparing them?" He gave Itachi this lovely cat-curious expression "…hmmm….Weird, you really are weird—if Kakuzu were here he wouldn't have questioned it in the slightest. Actually…I don't think anyone would have questioned it." But Juzo did a shrug, which just meant he conceded and so Juzo turned his back on them and with the most joyous laugh said "suppertime it is." and walked away.
She released an internal exhale.
The businessmen still stared on in fear, and Itachi approached, moving opposite her partner, before standing above the rich factory owners whose bodies crushed the sand as they flinched.
"Go on, solve your own stupid ownership issues, communicate and figure out your issues. And if I find out you're trying to kill each other again, I'll come back and eliminate you two." She then was ready to follow after Juzo, who patiently waited up, but there was one more thing she had to say "Oh…And the two of us get free chocolate for life—whenever we visit."
Yes!
Charlie and William both nodded their heads agreeing to the terms with bulged eyes.
And with that Itachi had decided she invested enough time and departed with Juzo.
After all, it was supper.
It was a few days later and she supposed it didn't take long for a mixed squad of both Konoha and Suna shinobi to track both Itachi and Juzo down—Itachi had to admit that they had been moving sloppy as far as covering their own 'footprints', and now at the edge of the land of Earth, still running down the middle of an ever-changing desert, Itachi's crows could see the squad closing in on them…
Her feet felt like someone had filled them with wet concrete, it was hot and it felt like someone had taken a hammer and slapped it into her chest despite not having an injury and admittedly Itachi felt slower than normal.
"Maybe we should just eliminate them."
"Only if they get too close."
"Ah, but that's the thing, if they're tailing us, they're already too close." Juzo argued.
But that's not the path they needed to take.
"When they are close enough, and if they're in your way. Do as you wish." she just hoped there were skilled ninja on the other side.
With wind and sand flying through their eyes, their feet were like rapid fire against the tan-yellow ground, jumping over dunes and hurling themselves forward whenever from the high ground whenever the opportunity presented itself.
And despite their efforts the squad would not shake, actually, the squad ended up breaking off into two smaller squads she had seen correctly through one of her crows.
They were closing on them and unfortunately, they both were mana tied from their last mission, which involved murdering and incinerating a famous, yet forgettable, key maker's house and very own body. What she hadn't expected from that fight, were a squad of shinobi—including some medic ninja known as Kabuto and his newly supposedly affiliated new village which they appropriately named Otogakure. They were able to send them retreating, but she had used an excess of mana that under normal conditions wouldn't have hindered her.
Sometimes it would be hard to breathe, and she was well aware of her respiratory issue. But the mission came so much before Itachi's own health—yes physically and emotionally.
"Split!" Juzo said.
But at that very moment, Juzo and Itachi looked at each other and decided to break apart from each other, then the moment they stepped foot on the staircase of the entrance to an abandoned desert village, they both entered the village and dared anyone to come in after them.
And of course, as goes in proper fearless shinobi fashion, they did.
Itachi didn't even hide in a house or anything, no she sneakily leaned against a brick wall in an alley, between an abandoned bar and some house—like a trapdoor spider she waited, listening, sweating… breathing as she listen and felt the air.
Minutes passed…
The wind came and whistled, there was still sand in her sandals and eyes and that's when she heard the almost inaudible footsteps just as a figure passed through her vision.
Without even getting a note of who the person was, Itachi snatched the shinobi, immediately taking her into the alley and removing her mask in one motion. With that done it was simple, Itachi shoved the sharp end of a Kunai in her mouth.
"Shhh." Itachi told, noting the anbu uniform and the long-familiar purple hair that fell to the kunoichi's back. And, Itachi had been in anbu long enough to recognize a comrade—'former' comrade when she saw one.
Yugao. A fierce and well trained Kunoichi—
And it immediately reminded her of Hayate, how could you think of Yugao without mentioning her significant other.
She and Hayate used to practice cutting watermelons together, while midair…also while dropping off the top of the hokage monument.
They talked before, and that was saying a lot. Yugao had even given a little lover's advice on Kakashi, in the past, so the recognition in Yugao
Advice she never had been able to put into practice.
"Make this easy for yourself, I won't kill you if you comply."
For some reason, Itachi got the feeling Yugao didn't believe her, but still…
And Yugao seemed like she wanted to speak and Itachi was in the most sincere way possible. Itachi was sorry, but—there was a mission to complete.
Itachi's forehead touched the back of her head, and there was plenty of hair to go around.
Yugao was smart, she wouldn't die needlessly.
And Yagao didn't move a limb, she bit the metal with her teeth, though only made a groaning noise, but Itachi translated whatever noise that was as Yugao's terms of surrender.
"Good, now look into my eyes.", Itachi swung Yugao around quickly, removing the kunai and immediately making eye contact with her opponent.
Yugao didn't even try to look away, instead, there was this unblinking stare—like the stare of a disappointed friend or something, and it made Itachi delay her ability, opening her mouth to speak, yet not a syllable could leave her lips.
You see, for the shortest span of time, she wanted to defend herself. Defend her actions and expose everything…
It really did give her a headache.
Before she could do something she regretted Itachi's genjutsu was applied. All she could do was hit the sand with a wide eye—wait, scratch that.
—Itachi caught her before she hit the sand. Holding her in her arms before gently laying her into the sand, as the girl laid imprisoned to her own mind.
It wasn't anything torturous or crazy, there was no need for her to—instead it was simply a dream of her and Hayate. A pleasant and loving dream to be honest. One with a beach house, where she and Hayate quit the life of a shinobi, embraced in one another's arms.
Itachi constructed the dream herself, maybe it would be something Yugao could appreciate. Though perhaps not everyone shared Itachi's views on quitting the life of a Kunoichi.
Then there were voices in the distance…
Men and women, yelling and barking orders—though she knew those were probably fake voices—probably coming from coordinated spots to draw her away from their actual location.
Probably—or she was just paranoid.
Regardless, she moved in the opposite direction, lurking through the shadows until one of her crows was able to give her a good angle of one of their squads, before her crow was eliminated.
Not having time to summon anymore, Itachi jetted through the streets only leaving winded and a blur in her wake, only stopping on her way to find another exit, when the form of Juzo dashed right by her.
"Those voices… bait, huuh?"
"I believe so."
They stopped, ran back to each other before Juzo mouthed "I have two KIA."
Two casualties, then.
"I defeated one."
"They send such weak opponents after us…"
"I wouldn't say they're weak, albethey outclassed," Itachi explained, pulling the taller man back into the shadows of some abandoned hotel, they stood back leaning against a wall, avoiding the stream of sunlight, coming through the shattered window and door, bringing some light to rat and debris-covered lobby.
"Anyone I can defeat with childlike ease is weak, am I wrong? Look at Might Dai and his son, or even Hatake—they actually make my blood pump. That's not weak, that's strong, those are ninja that make me want to push myself to my limits."
"Does that make them weak, or does that make you just exceptional?"
"Yes." he answered.
And Itachi not only felt the need to roll her eyes, and yeah, she did and while looking at him.
"Don't look at me like that, man, you really are intimidating sometimes. look, there is a simple solution to them following us…and I know you're not feeling so well, so allow me to fix them all for you. They're all definitely within close enough proximity to be a threat." Juzo was practically begging her, which so much wasn't because he enjoyed killing rather than it was just being one of those things that he happened to excel at. "I can do it myself, after all you're not feeling well, are you? "
"What? I feel fine."
"No need to lie." He looked her over from forehead to toes "You're sluggish. In pain perhaps? …some injury you don't want to have treated? I found your bloodied tissues—you buried them, but it really wasn't that deep of a hole Itachi. Don't you know most graves are about six feet down?"
She cursed herself for not covering herself better—but a mistake was a mistake. And when Itachi made major mistakes, that same mistake would never be repeated.
Why was Juzo digging around in the desert for?
No, she couldn't blame others for her mistake.
"It is a personal matter that I must apologize and say is none of your business."
The ninja blink, the light of the sun reflecting off of razor-like biters, smirking though still waiting for an answer.
Admittedly, she was taking her anger out on her partner and she crossed her arms, but she looked down to the floor.
Truthfully, it was Juzo's way of showing that he somewhat cared about her. And, that was something she could appreciate.
Itachi then said "I am healing from an injury." there was no need to worry Juzo, so Itachi fibbed."
Though, with the tilt of his head, Juzo held a suspicious forehead squinting—eye narrow.
"Is that why you're so against killing people?"
In the twilight, she cleared her eyes with her wrist.
"No." Was her only reply, looking away, face down.
"Or, perhaps you still have a soft spot for some of your former friends?"
What was he implying?
"Listen Itachi, we all have our regrets. And I don't personally care about how you got here, but it seems like you may regret doing a particular something…and maybe somehow you're trying to rectify that sin by sparing as many lives as possible? Is that right?"
He was sort of right, on the surface level of the iceberg at least.
But Itachi didn't respond and Juzo just made the assumption that his assertion was all that there was.
"I understand. You don't want any casualties here…sure, as long as nobody comes close to taking my head, I won't do the same. Just know, when we go to Kirigakure, I won't share the same sentiments for my comrades."
Itachi looked up, turning to Juzo with a grin almost forcing its way to her lips "Really? Is that a promise?"
"What? If I go against your wishes that would sort of put off our partner dynamic—am I right? I need you at your best, if this helps our synergy I'm for it."
A weird sentiment, but she saw some of the logic in it.
Coming from Juzo, it meant a lot, so it made her smile "Please."
"Well then….give me some ideas…"
"Ideas?"
"On how to take them out without inflicting fatal injury—at any rate, at least I can make this a little fun."
"Nothing about this is fun."
"That's why we make it fun" He said, poking his chin "but alright, let's have it your way. Then what do you have in mind?"
"No games, absolutely not Juzo, we'll only use the necessary force. But no games…"
This wasn't a game.
"Huh? See who can knock out the most?"
"No. I have a much, much more efficient way." she said, activating her sharingan.
They would make a run for it but say they came into contact with their attackers, there would be a drunken sober world prepared for everyone.
And when they did come, Itachi made sure to deal with every single last one of them.
It had been two weeks since he saw Itachi, and a part of him was convinced he was just some random fling.
Another part of him knew that she'd respond to his letters soon….
But that's not what Kakashi was complaining about yet.
For some reason, no matter where Kakashi went, whether he was hiding in one of Konoha's spas, training in his favorite training ground—ground 7 or if he was at Naruto's apartment to make sure the kid was okay.
This time, Kakashi had been relaxing on the edge of the village's inner wall, legs dangling over about 7 stories high, as he read with one hand at the book's spine.
Now, the book was just about to explain the significance of the heroine and the main character's matching wristbands when…
The scratch of an approaching pair of sandals walking up beside the sitting shinobi.
"There you are, Kakashi..." Guy's voice interrupted his reason, and Kakashi only gave a side-eye.
"Yo" Kakashi greeted "I'm not up for any challenge right now, how about we do it in a few hours?"
"Huh? Oh, I have no challenge for you right now, Kakashi! Right now I've come with news." And the clenching of Guy's fist told Kakashi that this was a matter that required his undivided attention.
"Go on."
"A shinobi was killed on our side recently, and the story is that it happened while they were in a sixteen-man squad joint military operation with Suna."
"What happened?" Kakashi urged him to go on.
"I don't know…but everyone else was placed under a genjutsu—only Yugao's conscious at the moment."
As something that rarely happens to Kakashi, he felt his fingers tremble.
Yugao? He had to go check on her.
Shit, he had to check on Hayate too!
No. It couldn't have been…he didn't speak, vision falling to his feet and the distant ground below.
"Kakashi, she said it was all Itachi and her partner. Those two alone."
His lips felt dry.
"The two of them, by themselves?"
He shouldn't have acted surprised, Juzo and her were certainly strong shinobi. Itachi had even surpassed him ages ago.
But, really what conflicted him was Itachi.
He had this weird thing going on with her.
It was a relationship. Some type of relationship…but perhaps they weren't actually dating. Still, there was this confusion and conflict with him—Kakashi was usually good at feeling out a person's heart—feeling out someone's genuine intent. And when he looked at Itachi, he couldn't find true malicious intent.
Maybe he was just losing it, that was the only viable explanation.
"Kakashi, somethings going on. Those two have been getting more and more active with the passing months. We need to stop them, get stronger and get a group of elite jounin and finally put an end to Itachi's reign of menace."
An end to her reign of menace?
What even was the story with this? Guy didn't have all the details, and there and then he decided that it would be better for him to ask Itachi in person.
"Yeah…"
"We need to up our training regime, change our diets, increase our sparring stakes!" Guy's temples bulged with a vein, his fist in front of his mouth, before falling to his knees, head hanging over the wall "If I could have just defeated her back on the bridge! At least, we wouldn't be dealing with her now."
The copy-ninja threw his best friend a raised brow and confused stare, "Don't do that, if you fall you'll have to catch yourself."
He sounded calm, but on the inside, there was just so much emotion, the same emotion that's been around ever since he started visiting Itachi.
Was this all real? Her, was she being real—despite how he felt and how he wanted things to go, could he trust her?
Because it felt like she cared, it felt like she actually wanted to talk and be with him. But Kakashi, as a devout shinobi of Konoha, could not just accept her criminal activity.
"She won't get away, there has been too much she's done and so little to stop her."
"She is quite powerful. We'd probably need a little aid from Jiraiya-sama's sage mode. I get the inkling that Itachi's got a few tricks up her sleeve."
A few tricks, and also the fact that she was always holding back against them.
"I'll break the limits of the 7th gate if I have to."
That could maybe work…however…
"That fight could hospitalize you for months."
"It'd be worth it, we can't let tyrants roam free. You remember Shisui, her own cousin she killed— and—and killed his parents, her own parents, oh not to mention Obito's! My youthful spirit can't let this rock!" Guy slammed a fist into the wall with a loud bang.
And there, staring at his bushy-browed friend, Kakashi couldn't help but feel a little uneasy at Guy's reaction.
He didn't know Guy had such hostile feelings towards Itachi.
Not saying he wasn't justified, again.
But still…there was the urge to defend her, even in his own ambivalence, Kakashi wanted a reason to defend her to just fall from the sky and land in his palm. But he couldn't…not without looking suspicious or raising about twenty pallets of questions.
"Let's start with a new training regime, I mean on top of the one you already started ", Kakashi said.
And it was there he finally made the conclusion: Itachi wasn't like the way everyone said she was, regardless of her crimes he knew something was off. Nothing fit with how the person he knew as Itachi before the massacre. She wasn't an evil menace…she never was…
Blood ran off and downhill as if it were water.
A number of Mist hunter-nin Itachi didn't care to count, were scattered apart, detached from their bodies and dead in the grass.
Juzo had the other half of his blade embedded into his right rib after blocking a serious-tailed beast bomb aimed at Itachi.
And the fact that it was aimed at her while she was immobilized and he literally swooped in and took the hit, that fact left Itachi in distress.
The Mizukage was enraged, covered in orange-red chakra, standing on all fours, the battle turtle form preparing yet another attack.
Recovering from her back being pounded against a tree, she stood holding her arm as her brain flashed through a thousand plus scenarios.
Juzo began barking "Why aren't you running already, go! Flee Itachi!"
But most of all she was angry.
Infuriated because she allowed a comrade to take a fatal injury in exchange for her own life.
Furious because yet again, she was losing someone she considered a friend. Someone who somewhat had an understanding—just when she thought she could start opening up…
Nobody cared about them.
Juzo and her were criminals….
Who would care if someone like him was gone?
But still…he was an honorable shinobi.
And so, Itachi cared about him.
And so, Itachi didn't run.
No, she stood tall, facing the Jinchuriki with an unblinking stare. A ball of different shades of blue and purple swirled, morphing and compiling together as the Mizukage gather chakra for a larger and larger tailed beast bomb.
Before she knew it she felt a burning sensation in her eyes, before a ghastly yell, black flames had jumped all over the Yagura, causing him to drop and flail all over the ground.
Something leaked down her cheek. Wait, were her eyes bleeding?
"What the hell did you do to 'em?" Juzo coughed.
And this was where Itachi was supposed to stop, where she was supposed to hold back on the flames of her newly discovered ability, flee and try to find Juzo any sort of medical help.
But no, the flames didn't stop.
Instead, the Kunoichi withdrew a kunai from her sleeve and approached the motionless and unconscious Mizukage just as she finally allowed the black flame to fade.
Itachi was never a vengeful Kunoichi, however…she had reached the point, where perhaps it would be okay to break her own rule.
A/N: Yes, a whole lot of nothing happened, I'm here to tell a story nothing more, so bear with me this does have an actual path we're heading down.