Hi everyone, I've been writing this for a while but finally found the time to proof read the prologue. I hope you like it. As mentioned in the description this is completely AU, but a lot of the characters from Atlantis and SG1 will be in it.

Prologue

John Sheppard was the best of the best.

He knew it, his team knew it, all the opposing teams knew it; the entire world knew it.

He'd been racing in formula one for three years, and in that time, he'd only been beaten once and he'd been nursing some rather unpleasant injuries at the time. He'd been the world champion the last two years and he was on the cusp of winning for the third year running.

The competition was tight, there were some amazing racers out on the track with him; but John never let that intimidate him. He pushed the car harder, faster, took the corners tighter, smoother, whatever he needed to do to assure him victory. Whatever a competitor threw at him he just adapted and overcame; it was something he'd always been good at.

It also helped that he really had no fear of death.

When he crossed the finish line in first position, guaranteeing his team victory for the season regardless of where he came on the grid in the following race, it was no surprise to anyone.

He pulled straight into the pits and climbed out of the car, greeting those who came to congratulate him with calm appreciation. He was greeted in the expected fashion by his team, all smiles and excitement, which he once more acknowledged. His girlfriend met him in the box with a soft kiss, then the owner of the company, who also happened to be his girlfriend's father, shook his hand with a pleased smirk.

When the race was over properly, he was congratulated by the rest of the drivers; some of them were a bit sour at him and jealous of his talent; but most of them were good sports.

After the congratulations he stood up on the podium, with the second and third place winners, a man around his age named Cameron Mitchell and a slightly younger man named Evan Lorne. They congratulated each other and received their trophies, then the other two had their moment in the champaign fountain, covering each other and John in the frothy, golden liquid.

He had his photo taken on the podium, then of course the expected photos with Nancy and her father. Finally, he took a moment for a proper celebration with the pit crew and the rest of their team now that they were out of the public eye. They jumped around and hugged, had a drink together; it was the only part of his victories John was allowed to actually enjoy because he had an image to maintain.

After only a short time Nancy came and none too gently reminded him that they needed to leave, because she needed her beauty sleep. He didn't bother telling her that she was free to leave any time she wanted to; that would just cause a hissy fit on her part and he wasn't in the mood for one of those, she had plenty in a regular day without his assistance. He said goodnight to the crew and walked out to the car with Nancy and Hugo, politely acknowledging the paparazzi until they were in the limousine heading for the hotel they were staying in for this leg of the championship.

"You had a good race today, John," Hugo said when they were out of the stadium.

"Thank you," John replied politely.

"Only one more to go and you'll be the champion."

"Three years running," John agreed with a nod.

"You've driven well for us these last three years, John," Hugo said with a haughty, delighted gleam in his eye. "You know the end of your contract is swiftly approaching; if you win us another championship your next contract will be very nice indeed."

"That was the aim," John replied.

"Good man. I've also been thinking about you and Nancy. It's been two years now that you've been in this relationship; with your upcoming victory I think now would be a good time for the two of you to get engaged. Perhaps you could propose after your next victory, in front of the cameras, you know, give them a good show," Hugo suggested, although it wasn't a suggestion at all and John knew it.

Nancy looked thrilled while John did his best to hide the internal panic he was going through. "Well, that's definitely an option to consider," he said diplomatically, even though it was the very last thing he could ever possibly want to do.

They both seemed to take that as an agreement and the conversation veered towards when and how he should propose; which John astutely tuned out.

The drive to the hotel was blessedly short and they were soon pulling up outside the main entrance. They were greeted at the door by his PA; Laura, who smiled at him brightly

"Great race, boss," she praised and he thanked her politely.

Hugo's bodyguard ushered them inside, past all the paparazzi that were waiting outside to get a shot of John. They headed through the lobby and into the lift, Laura pressing the button for their level. They exited at their floor and Nancy gave him a bright smile before moving in for a long, lingering kiss; seeming not to notice that John wasn't kissing back, not that there was anything new about that.

"Goodnight, fiancé to be," she said excitedly, giving him one last excited smile before floating down the corridor to her room.

"Goodnight, son," Hugo said, gripping his shoulder tightly then following after her.

John turned to head to room, which was across the hall from Nancy's. Laura walked in front of him, opening the door for him then following him inside, closing and locking it behind them. They moved in to the loungeroom and she grabbed them both a drink out of the fridge as he collapsed down onto the couch with a groan.

He looked up as she sat down beside him and passed him a beer, the top already off. He took a long drink then sat back with a sigh. It was silent in the room for one beat, two, three; then, "Did she just say-?"

"Yep," John replied before she could finish the sentence.

"Whoa."

"Yep."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea."

"You're not going to go through with it are you?"

"What choice do I have?"

They both fell silent, neither of them had an answer for that.

"Do you want me to organise you some company, tonight?" Laura asked.

John shook his head, "No, I'm really not in the mood."

"Okay," she agreed easily. "When they texted to say you were on your way I ordered your dinner, it'll be here soon," she told him, the sympathy obvious in her voice. "Anything else I can get for you tonight? Cyanide capsule maybe?" she asked jokingly and he chuckled despite his terrible mood.

"Sure, I'll take one of those," he replied chuckling. "No, I'm fine, thanks, Laura."

"Want some dinner company?" she asked.

"No thanks, I think it'd rather be alone," he replied honestly.

"Okay, night, boss," she said, giving him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and leaving the room, locking the door behind her.

John sat on the couch, staring out the glass sliding door of his hotel room until his dinner arrived. He let the man with the cart wheel it in and gave him a generous tip before closing and locking the door behind him. He took his dinner out to the table on the deck and ate it because he knew he needed to eat, but he didn't taste a bite of it.

When it was done he left the dishes beside the sink then headed into the bathroom.

It was funny how all of his thinking happened in the bathroom; it was the only place he really felt safe from prying eyes.

He pulled off his clothes and climbed into the water, groaning as the hot spray touched his stiff muscles. He gave himself a moment to enjoy that before getting onto the business of washing himself, moving through his usual adulations with robotic efficiency. When he was done, he just stood under the spray, letting himself finally feel.

He should be happy, he was a formula 1 racing driver, the best in the world. This had been his dream since he was a kid, a dream he'd had to fight and struggle for, a dream he'd lost his family for, and he'd finally achieved it. Three years he'd been on the top now, that should mean something to him, shouldn't it? This was the life he'd always wanted and he should be happy; but he wasn't.

The company he drove for, Anchotech, was world renown for being the best in the industry. He'd stared out as one of their F2 drivers, discovered when he was still at university finishing his mathematics degree. He'd caught the attention of the boss with his talent and he'd moved up to F1 really quickly. It had seemed like a dream come true and he'd done everything they'd ever asked of him, pushing himself as far as he could go, then pushing himself further still, and his results spoke for themselves. He'd been happy in the beginning, everything seemed to be going perfectly; then Hugo had brought Nancy along to one of his races.

She'd taken an instant liking to him and it was flattering, but John didn't like women. Not that he'd ever publicised that to anyone, in fact the only person in the world who did know aside from himself was Laura. He'd been polite, he'd spoken to her with exactly the amount of deference expected from him when addressing the boss's daughter and he'd thought that would be the end of it; but it wasn't. She'd started coming to all of his events and with every one she got bolder and bolder, touching him seemingly innocently, flirting very obviously, and he'd tried his best to keep things polite and platonic.

Then Hugo had pulled him into his office one day and told him, without actually saying the words, that he would date Nancy or he would lose his contract.

Everything had started to unravel after that; John's dream life had started to feel like a prison.

He'd had to lie to Nancy and Hugo that he was devoutly Christian and didn't believe in sex before marriage to keep Nancy from trying to be too intimate with him; and thank goodness it had worked. Hugo had seen it as a very endearing quality and Nancy was happy as long as she got to be seen with him. As much as she wanted John physically what she really wanted was the prestige of being with him; so as long as he took her out on a couple of dates a week, she was happy. The best part about her was that she could talk for hours without any input from him, which was great because he had none to give her.

That was bad, but at least he thought he mattered to the company, after all they seemed to care about him enough to hire staff to be his personal trainers, personal doctor, personal assistant etc, surely they wouldn't go to all that trouble if he meant nothing to them. John had never had much of a childhood; his parents were cold and uncaring, he didn't even know what it felt like to be loved, so even though being with Nancy nauseated him he stuck with it because at least he'd found people to care about him.

Or so he'd thought.

Then he'd been involved in an accident during one of his races. It hadn't been his fault; he'd been hit from behind by one of his opponents and knocked into the wall. He'd broken his ankle and a few ribs and the car was completely wrecked. He'd been taken off to hospital and had his ankle set and plastered, his chest hurt like hell and breathing was difficult, but he was alive and he was grateful for that; he'd figured Hugo would be grateful for that too.

When the man had come to visit he'd thought there might be just a little concern for John, but there wasn't. Hugo's only concern had been about the car and the championship they were in the middle of. He'd once more made it clear to John, without actually saying the words, that if he wasn't fit for the next race he was done and if he ever crashed another car he was equally done.

So, John had driven the next race with a broken ankle and two broken ribs, he'd been in excruciating pain the entire time and he'd only come in second, but it had been enough to keep them in poll position and they'd gone on to win the championship.

That's when John had realised that his life really was nothing. He had fame and he got to drive the fast car he'd always dreamed of; but what good was any of that if he was miserable and alone? If he was living a lie?

How long could he carry on an engagement to Nancy? He doubted he'd get more than 6 months and then what? What was going to happen to him when she found out that he couldn't get it up for her? It didn't take much when he was with an attractive man, but women did absolutely nothing for him.

He was so fucked!

He turned off the shower and sighed, pushing back the emptiness that wanted to consume him.

What the hell was he going to do?

He climbed out and dried himself off, then hung up the towel and brushed his teeth.

This was all such a robotic routine for him he could do it in his sleep. He had to make sure he did everything properly, after all he had to stay in peak physical condition and one of his biggest selling points, as far as the team were concerned, were his youth and good looks; if he didn't maintain himself perfectly they'd drop him from the team no matter how talented he was and he knew it.

When he was finished with his teeth he put down the toothbrush and just looked at his reflection.

He'd always been told he was an attractive man, tanned skin, bright green eyes, slender, muscular body, thick, crazy hair that did whatever it wanted to but still apparently looked hot. He'd never lacked invitations to bed, but it had been years since he'd taken anyone up on them, not at all since he'd taken on this position; he couldn't afford to be accidentally found out.

Laura often organised 'company' for him, which she took to the spare room in her hotel room for him to be with in there. The person was ordered to face the wall at all times or they weren't paid, so none of them ever saw him. It was a good release sometimes, but John wanted so much more.

He wanted love, he wanted a relationship, he wanted to get married and live with another man. The laws had changed now, they could do that if they wanted to and John definitely wanted to; he was sick of hiding. He'd been told so many times to enjoy his youth, to take advantage of it as long as it was around and experience as much as possible; that's what most guys did after all. John didn't want to though, he'd never wanted to; he wanted someone special, someone to love, someone who would be his forever.

His gaze caught on the gold cross hanging around his neck and it took every ounce of self-control he had not to rip it off. He wore it because of Nancy and Hugo, not because he actually wanted to.

He didn't want to live a lie anymore, but he didn't want to give up racing either; what was he going to do?

The sound of his phone ringing out in the loungeroom broke through his reverie and he headed out to see who was calling; surprised when the caller ID brought up Laura.

"What's up, Laura?" he asked in greeting.

"John, I have someone who wants to organise a meeting with you; I think it's someone you're really going to want to talk to," Laura replied.

The insistence and excitement in her voice piked his interest, "Okay, who is it?" he asked.

XX

John flew around the second last corner, still in the lead despite his opponent's continued attempts to pass him. They were almost at the finish line, a straight, a final corner and the final straight and he'd be home; he just had to keep him out until then.

John gunned it along the straight; pushing the car faster than he ever had. He was so close; he wasn't going to lose now. He managed to pull ahead enough at the straight that his opponent couldn't even try to catch him on the last corner. John took it as quickly as he could, increasing his lead, then he was onto the next straight and he gunned it, heading for the finish line.

He crossed the line in first place, his opponent far enough behind that John didn't see him at all until he reached the pits and parked the car. That was it, he'd won the final race of the season, his team had won the series.

He climbed out of the car and took his helmet off, raising it up high, the only celebration he was allowed, as the pit crew cheered around him. Victory felt amazing, as it always did even if he couldn't show it, but today it felt particularly amazing; it was harder than ever to maintain his outward, icy exterior the company demanded of him

Nancy came over to see him, bright eyed as always, kissing him longer than she usually did. "Congratulations, Johnny," she gushed, sounding happier than he'd ever heard her, then kissing his cheek. It made his skin crawl just like it always did, but he didn't stop her, he just did his best to ignore her.

He could see the expectation and anticipation in her eyes, she was expecting her proposal just as her father had mandated. He didn't want to set her antennae off so he went along with everything, celebrating with her, Hugo and the team until the race was over, then heading up to receive his trophy and enjoy his champagne soaking with the other place getters.

The second-place getter this time was Evan, he was relatively new to F1 but he had a lot of potential and skill. John congratulated him on a good chase as they waited for the people who were coming to present the trophies and Evan congratulated him on his victory. When the champagne soaking was over and done with, he saw Nancy waiting excitedly just off stage for her proposal, with Hugo standing beside her, watching expectantly.

He smiled amiably at them and headed off the stage to the place where the reporters were waiting to talk to him. Hugo came out to join him, obviously wanting to talk to the press about their victory, throwing his arm over John's shoulder as if they were pals; he liked to do that a lot and it was really irritating.

"John, that was an incredible race and you've won the championship, how do you feel?" the first reporter asked.

"It was an incredible race with some stiff competition, and I am so proud to have won the championship and so grateful to have had the opportunity," John replied.

"Mr Palamo, you must be very proud of your driver and very happy with today's outcome," the next reporter asked Hugo.

"I am indeed, John has always made this brand proud and we couldn't be happier with his performance. Over the years that he's driven for my company I have come to think of him as more than a racer, he's become a part of my family and I hope our relationship will only continue to grow over the coming years," Hugo replied.

There were sounds of interest from all the reporters.

"Are you trying to tell us that John may have some exciting news to share with us soon?" one of them asked.

"I think John may have some very exciting news to share with everyone shortly," Hugo confirmed with a wide smile and from the corner of his eyes John could see Nancy watching with a bright, excited smile on her face.

John smiled as well; they'd be getting some exciting news all right, but not the kind they were expecting.

Movement from the other direction caught his attention and John glanced that way, his smile widening as he saw the people who were approaching.

"John, do you have anything to say on the matter?" one of the reporters asked.

"In fact I do. It has been a privilege to drive for Anchotech these last three years, I am very grateful to them for giving my start in formula 1 and providing me with an amazing car to drive; it's helped hone my skills as a driver," John began and the reporters looked happy while Hugo looked thrilled and John just smiled brightly. "So, it is with great happiness that I take what I feel is the best next step, for my life and my career," they all watched him in anticipation and John could see Nancy preparing to walk out, "And sign a contract with the company who will continue to help me grow my skills as a driver; Atlantis Industries."

The entire crowd fell silent, the reporters gasped in shock, Hugo's arm slipped off John's shoulder and one glance over at Nancy showed him just how much shock she was in.

Everyone had heard of Atlantis industries, they made the best technology there was, but their entre into the world of cars was only very recent and they would be starting in formula one the following year, complete rookies. Of course it would be a shock to everyone that the best F1 driver in the world wanted to join a team like that, but then none of them knew what it was like to be under Hugo's thumb.

"And it will be a pleasure to have you with us," another voice drew everyone's attention to Jack O'Neill, the owner of Atlantis industries, who was approaching with his wife, Samantha Carter, and Elizabeth Weir, the company manager.

Hugo looked completely flabbergasted and absolutely livid at the same time, although most people would never be able to tell. The reporters looked stunned, but excited to be on the scene of breaking news, and Nancy was in tears.

John was enjoying all of this far too much.

Jack stopped beside John and they shared a warm handshake, smiling brightly at each other while the cameras clicked around them. John knew this would be front page news the next day and he had to admit he was excited to see what they were going to write.

"You all done here, kid?" Jack asked.

"Yes," John replied.

"Got all your stuff?" Jack asked.

"All here," Laura's voice sounded from behind them and the woman appeared from out of the Anchotech office, with a bag holding all of John's stuff over her arm.

They had been planning this for weeks, all of them, there was no way they were leaving anything to chance now.

"Great, let's go," Jack replied and John made a show of being polite and holding out his hand to Hugo, who of course wasn't going to show his anger in front of other people.

"Thank you very much for the opportunities you have given me, it's been delightful racing for your company," John said amiably while Hugo was too stunned and angry to speak and merely shook his hand.

John pulled his hand free after an acceptable amount of time and walked over to Jack, who wrapped a friendly arm around his shoulders and walked with him towards the exit and the car they had waiting.

"Well done, son, you handled that very diplomatically," Jack said as they walked.

"Thank you, Sir," John replied.

"John, for the last time, call me Jack," the older man replied.

"No problem, Jack," he agreed easily.

XX

What did we think?

Obviously this is only a prologue but I hope it piqued your interest.

If you have the time I'd love to hear what you think :)