Namaari,

I never doubted that you would fix the Gem. I really can't explain why. Pretty much the only thing I knew about you at that point was how to annoy you, but I was sure I could trust you.

I'm so glad that I was right.

Thank you for telling me about your dream. I know we can't change the past, but I'm happy that I can call you my friend now.

Virana asked me to help her teach a group of children this morning and it was the most exhausting thing I've ever done. First the kids wouldn't stop asking me about Tuktuk, and when I told them he liked to eat bugs, they kept looking for bugs instead of paying attention to Virana. Then they kept asking me where you were even after I explained that you were in Heart many, many times. They were pretty upset when I told them I didn't know when you would be back.

After that I made the mistake of mentioning that we're working on using magic and that brought up a hundred other questions that I didn't know how to answer. They only stopped when I promised that we would show them our magic powers when you got back. So, we're going to have to do that, or these kids are never going to leave me alone.

Don't get me wrong, it was really fun, but I am so tired. I worked on building a house yesterday and I wasn't this exhausted afterwards.

It feels silly to say, but part of me is jealous of those kids. There were only a few other kids my age around when I was growing up, so I didn't have many friends. And when I did manage to talk to one of them, my mind always went blank and all I could think to talk about was dragons. Which made them think I was weird. And they already thought I was weird because I was the chief's daughter.

It just makes me really glad to have another dragon nerd in my life again.

I can't believe it's only been a month since the last time I saw you. It feels like so much longer. I'm not sure exactly what has to happen to prove that we're ready to be around each other again, but I hope that it happens soon.

Raya

Raya,

I'm glad you had fun with those kids. That's pretty much how they always are, and they definitely aren't going to leave you alone if we don't show them our magic.

I had the same problem growing up. There weren't many other kids my age and I also couldn't stop talking about dragons. I really only spent time with my mother and Atitāya. I'm realizing that my childhood was pretty lonely.

That's one of the things I've been reflecting on while meditating. I hated meditating at first, but it's much easier now and I do it almost every day. I'm really glad Benja suggested it. When I first came to Heart, I felt so restless that I could barely sit still. I've never had this much time with nothing to fill it before and I didn't know how to handle it at first. But yesterday I sat in the same place for three hours while I was meditating, and I didn't once feel like I should be somewhere else. It's weird to think about how this is the first time in my life I've really relaxed.

Benja has been helping me so much and I don't know how I'm ever going to repay him. He showed me that spot on the mountain where you can see all the fireflies in the valley at night, and I go up there every day now. Benja usually either comes with me or joins me after an hour or so. Sometimes we talk and other times we just sit in silence, but it doesn't feel uncomfortable. Other times I'm upset, and he can always tell without me saying anything. He just gives me a hug and tells me bad jokes until I'm feeling better.

It's weird being around someone who's so good at reading my emotions. I've gotten used to it and really appreciate it now, but it really threw me off when I first got here. The first few times he asked me how I was feeling—how I was really feeling, not just on a surface level—I had no idea how to respond. I've never had someone in my life who made me look any deeper than that.

When I went to the summit to watch the fireflies today, I thought about how much I wanted you to be there, too. I hope that can happen sometime soon.

Namaari

Namaari,

I'm really glad to hear how much my Ba has been helping you. And that you're learning how to relax. You seem much calmer and happier now than when this all started, and I can't wait to see that in person.

Virana and Atitāya are still as intense as ever, but I can tell that I'm learning a lot from them. Atitāya has me sitting in on the meetings she has with the council members from all the different villages. There are eight villages now, so it's been a lot of meetings. I was so bored during the first one she brought me to that I barely paid any attention. After the meeting, Atitāya asked me questions about almost everything that was said, and I couldn't answer any of them. I was so embarrassed, and I'm honestly surprised she brought me to the next meeting after that.

I definitely didn't ever want to experience that again, so I was determined to focus more during the meetings. Today I was able to answer all of Atitāya's questions about allocating resources, trade routes, and work rotations. She's impossible to read, so I still can't tell if I earned her approval or not, but I hope I did. During our last meeting today, one of the elders even asked me directly for my opinion. I wasn't expecting it at all, but she seemed pleased with the answer I gave her.

I'm actually looking forward to attending council meetings when I get back to Heart now. My Ba tried to get me to go to them before, but he stopped after it was clear I wasn't going to pay attention. But I really want to show him how much I've learned now.

Raya

Raya

I think your Ba will be really proud to see all the work you've done. I hope I'm there during the meeting so I can see how impressed he is with everything you've learned.

I hope my mother will be happy with everything I've learned, too. But I'm not sure if she'll be able to understand what I've been working on, and I'm worried she'll think I've been wasting my time. I don't think she sees dealing with emotions as very important, and I hate to think what she would say if she knew how much I've been crying the last few weeks.

I almost made it a whole week without crying but then this morning Benja gave me a stuffed dragon toy and I definitely cried again. It made me cry because it looked just like one I had as a kid, but I got rid of it when I was older because I felt like I was expected to. I'm definitely not going to get rid of this one.

I know what you mean about Atitāya being hard to read. I've been around her my whole life, and I still can't tell what she's thinking most of the time. I remember being upset about that when I was younger, but I think it also helped push me to be better.

When I was a kid, I would challenge her to sparring matches all the time, but I could never beat her. She never held back, and she never let me win, even when I first started weapons training. I complained about it once and she said she couldn't just let me have something like that without me earning it. It took until I was seventeen before I could beat her, and then when it happened, I was so surprised that I dropped my spear. She immediately swept my feet out from under me after that, so she said I didn't actually win, but I could see in her eyes that she was proud of me.

I remember when I was younger, I used to go on walks with her and my mother to visit all the villages on the mainland. Those were always my favorite days and I got so excited for them. By the end of the day, I was usually so tired that I could barely stay standing, so Atitāya would let me sit on her shoulders on the way home. Sometimes I'd pretend to be more tired than I actually was so she would let me do it sooner.

I think when I get back to Fang, I'm going to ask Atitāya to start those walks again. And I'd love it if you could join us, too.

Namaari

Namaari,

Virana told me today that you and my Ba are coming to Fang next week. Luckily, she told me at the end of the day because I can't think about anything besides how excited I am to see you. I have no idea how I'm going to focus enough to get through Atitāya's questions after our meetings tomorrow.

I'm sending your dragon necklace with my letter because I want you to have it for your trip. And I definitely want to see the stuffed dragon that my Ba gave you.

I'm sorry to write such a short letter, but all I can think about right now is how much I want to hug you. And how I'll finally be able to do that soon!

Love,

Raya