Namaari jerked awake, looking blearily around her room to find what had woken her. There was another knock at the door, and she stumbled out of bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She opened it to find Raya standing in the hallway, looking so upset that Namaari instantly became fully awake.
"I had a nightmare," Raya blurted out, looking down at her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. Then she frowned. "This is silly, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you in the middle of the night and woken you up."
Raya turned to leave but Namaari gently grabbed her hand. The blue light of their magic spread from between their fingers, though its glow was much dimmer than it had been earlier that day.
"It's not silly," Namaari said as she stepped into the hallway. "What do you need me to do?"
Raya shrugged. She kept her eyes down, but she squeezed Namaari's hand tightly. "Can we just...walk, or something?"
Namaari nodded, closing the door of her room before leading Raya down the stairs. They walked in silence for a few moments, Raya keeping her gaze on the floor and Namaari watching her closely.
When Namaari finally spoke, she kept her voice low and gentle. "Did you get any sleep before the nightmare?
Raya shook her head. "No, not much."
"I'm surprised you could sleep at all since you slept through an hour of meditation this afternoon," Namaari said, laughing softly.
There was a hint of a smile on Raya's face as she shrugged again. "Yeah, I don't think meditation is my thing. I'm glad it's helped you so much, though."
"If you had told me two months ago that I would actually like meditating for hours at a time, I wouldn't have believed it. But don't worry, dep la," Namaari said, grinning and bumping her shoulder into Raya's. "I've been keeping up with my combat training, too, so I'll still be able to keep up with you the next time we spar."
Raya grimaced and stopped walking, letting go of Namaari's hand to wrap her arms around herself.
Namaari stopped and turned toward her, resisting the urge to reach for Raya's hand again. "Did I say something wrong?"
Raya's jaw clenched and she wouldn't meet Namaari's eyes. "No. No, it's not you. What you said just reminded me of my nightmare."
Namaari brow furrowed, her eyes darting around Raya's face. "Do you want to talk about it? We don't have to," she added quickly. "I can just be here with you if that's what you need."
Raya's expression became pained and she sighed heavily. "I don't know if I can. Talking about things like this was so much easier in our letters." Her eyes flicked to Namaari's face for a second before returning to the floor. "This feels a lot harder."
"Do you need me to leave?" Namaari asked, taking half a step back.
Raya's face contorted again but she quickly grabbed Namaari's hand before she could move any further. "Please don't. I just—" Her voice caught in her throat and Namaari could see tears gathering in her eyes. "It was just a really bad nightmare."
Namaari started to pull Raya into a hug, moving slowly so she had time to pull away. Raya didn't resist, wrapping her arms around Namaari and burying her face against her neck.
"Can you tell me about it, dep la?" Namaari asked, moving her hand to stroke Raya's hair. She could feel Raya's ragged breathing against her neck and hoped her pounding heart wasn't too obvious. The blue light of their magic around Raya started to flicker and for half a second Namaari worried it might become unstable again, but it only made her hold Raya closer.
Raya swallowed thickly and had to take several deep breaths before her words came out in a rush. "It was a new one, not one of the nightmares about my Ba. It was about the day Sisu died, when I followed you back to the palace and we fought. I was angry, so angry that when I disarmed you, I didn't give you a chance to say anything about what happened. And I…I hurt you. Really badly." Raya's breath hitched, her fingers clutching at Namaari's shirt as she hugged her tighter. "When I woke up, I thought it was real for a few seconds. That you were..."
Namaari shifted to rubbing small circles on her back as Raya cried. "It wasn't real," she said, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of Raya's head. "I'm okay. We're both safe and we're here together."
"I was so scared that I hurt you. That I'd never get to see you again," Raya gasped out. "Namaari, I'm so sorry I didn't trust you that day. And that I tried to hurt you afterwards. I was just so angry."
"It's okay, I understand. I was angry, too."
Namaari held Raya for a few moments, waiting until her shoulders stopped shaking before speaking again. "I'm glad we learned how to not be angry anymore. And now I—" She cut herself off, trying not to let her body tense as her face flushed.
Raya pulled back from the hug but kept her arms around Namaari, studying her face. Their eyes locked and Namaari had to step away from the embrace before she could breathe again. She brushed her hair behind her ear, giving Raya the best smile she could at this point, hoping the darkness would hide how red her face was.
After a few more seconds of Raya staring at her, Namaari cleared her throat. "Do you, uh, do you want to try to sleep again?"
Raya blinked at her, then seemed to mentally shake herself. "I probably should, but…" She looked away and Namaari could see a blush creeping up her neck. "Could you…could you stay with me? I feel like I'd be less likely to have another nightmare if you were there."
Namaari's heart sped up again, but she managed to keep her face calm as she nodded. Raya cautiously took her hand and they started down the hallway, neither of them speaking as they walked through the palace. Once they reached Raya's room, they entered without making eye contact. There was another beat of silence as they both hesitated before Namaari worked up the nerve to move to the bed. She laid down on her side and Raya followed, lying so they were facing each other.
Namaari had her hand resting in the space between them and Raya covered it with her own, lacing their fingers together. With their hands touching again, the light of their magic grew brighter, making them both smile. Their eyes finally met and Namaari had to remind herself to breathe as Raya held her gaze. Several tense seconds passed like this until Raya started laughing.
"I'm sorry," Raya said as Namaari gave her a questioning look. "I just realized the light from our magic is going to make it really hard to sleep and we have no idea how to turn it off."
Namaari paused for a second, then reached behind her with her free hand to grab a pillow. She smacked it down on Raya's head, a grin breaking across her face. "Does that help?"
"It does! Let me show you," Raya said, laughing again as she shoved the pillow back at Namaari.
Namaari managed to knock the pillow away, but Raya's hand kept going, hitting her forehead and pushing her head back. She blinked several times, her eyes refocusing to find Raya's concerned face just inches away from hers.
"Are you okay?" Raya asked. She released Namaari's hand to gently touch her forehead.
Namaari brushed Raya's hand away. "I'm fine, you didn't hit me that hard." She looked down at their hands as she interlocked their fingers again, then back up at Raya, who suddenly seemed to realize how close their faces were.
Their eyes met and there was a brief moment where they both froze, Namaari barely daring to breathe. Raya moved her hand like she was going to touch her face again, but before she could, Namaari rolled over so her back was to her. She winced, curling in on herself as the silence between them grew heavy.
A moment later she felt Raya's hand gently touch her back and had to stop herself from flinching away. She took several deep breaths and gradually her body relaxed, using Raya's touch to ground her.
She heard Raya yawn and eventually her hand fell away, her breathing evening out as she drifted off to sleep. Namaari stayed awake for a while longer, not letting herself close her eyes until she was sure that Raya was sleeping peacefully.