DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto or Harry Potter universes.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, Naruto speaking to Kurama, etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

"Calm down, idiot. I don't sense my siblings' chakra in him." Kurama paused for a moment and Naruto watched as her sewer-like mindscape faded away into whiteness. The great fox shook his head. "I still can't reach them," he said regarding his siblings. He could feel their chakra inside Naruto, and yet he could not speak with them. Wasn't it odd that after avoiding them for decades or longer, now he yearned to have them back by his side?

"Fuck," Naruto hissed, not understanding what was going on. Neville got her attention by gasping from either her profanity - people here were so soft - or because she was holding him up by his collar, so she put him down after ensuring he could stand on his own two feet, patting his shoulder immediately after. "Just a second, Neville."

She wanted to roll her eyes at the way the boy's body reacted to hers being pushed so closely together but then he went and passed out on her. "Hinata, 2.0: Unbelievable." Being forced to ignore the invisible jinchuuriki for now, Naruto bent down and threw Neville over her better shoulder and carried him back to the bar.

Sadly, that garnered some attention. She turned toward the bar's other patrons and shot back her whiskey, which was difficult, considering where she had placed Neville so she tossed him over to her other shoulder. "What?"

Hagrid panicked and began fussing all over the younger boy. Naruto watched and ordered another drink, smiling at the pleasant burning sensation it provided as she explained that Neville had gotten flustered.

"Don' le' her drink, Bonnie!" Hagrid said scoldingly to the bartender.

"Maa, don't listen to him, barkeep-san," Naruto said, patting the great big man on the back "I can hold my alcohol just fine."

"Naruto! Wha' have I tol' yeh abou' the rules?!"

"'Rules' you say?" Naruto asked humorously, wiggling her eyebrows as she did so, although it was hard to take her eyes off of the somewhat transparent jinchuuriki. Hagrid was getting livid, though. "Okay. I'm sorry. But it's so fucking cold here and the whiskey stuff warms me up."

"Merlin and Morgana," Hagrid said without thinking. Once he was sure Neville was okay he decided that it would be better to leave with his charge. "I thin' it's time we be gettin' back teh the castle."

Naruto, though, was focused on the bar they had just left. "There's a guy doing an invisibility jutsu or something in there," she said to the gamekeeper quietly, still unable to focus on much else. "You mind telling me what kind of jinchuuriki that is? It's not cool, man. Who's in charge of that sh... stuff?"

Hagrid had no earthly idea of what the witch was talking about, but as he gently pushed her forward, one word she'd said caught his attention. "Did yeh say 'invisiblity?'"

"Yeah. And he was no sage," Naruto replied, "or whatever Madara was," she mumbled to herself. She was definitely going to Dumbledore about this. Kami! She couldn't believe she'd left the Elemental Nations and allowed people to seal tailed beasts or anything else inside people ever again. Goddammit, Sasuke! Look what's happened...

Naruto wanted to say that whatever it was that had been sealed in that guy was totally evil, but isn't that what everyone said earlier about Kurama? That hadn't been fair at all: it was humanity that had turned on him and made him into a supposed monster, a "demon."

Hagrid, meanwhile, wondered if Mr. Potter had donned his invisibility cloak again. This wasn't even a Hogsmeade weekend for the students, so he better not be here! Some students had received passes because of particularly good behavior, but Hogwarts' three most troublesome Gryffindors weren't among them, of that he was sure. HOWEVER... "Wai' right here, Naruto. I'll be back!"

Naruto watched the man go back into the bar and promised herself that as soon as she was alone, she'd work on making clones. They would've been extremely helpful to leave in the bar right now.

Hagrid in the meantime looked around inside and didn't see evidence of Harry or his two best friends. Sighing, he cleared his throat as he walked into the center of the establishment, wanting to warn the boy in case he was here. In a loud voice, he spoke. "If anyone's needin' teh get back teh the castle, now might be a good time teh do it." Feeling embarrassed at making such a spectacle of himself, Hagrid grinned and ducked his head, hurrying back to Hogwarts' newest student.

Naruto, Hagrid decided, was acting very strangely

As soon as they were on their way back to the castle, the witch had stiffened and occasionally turned around, glaring as she tried to alter course. Hagrid kept his eyes peeled, but it seemed she was focused on nothing at all! Surely Harry wasn't following them that closely if he was there! The girl hadn't yet been assigned a room or house, so Hagrid took her back to the infirmary and told her to stay with Poppy.

Again, the little blonde was totally silent as she smiled grimly and nodded in agreement.

"'m serious now, Naruto."

"Hai," she said and looked away. Pomfrey-san had turned away to hover over a child, so it was time to move. She gave the big man about a second to leave, then followed him through the castle, keeping to the shadows. Fortunately, he led her right into Dumbledore's office.

Jinchuuriki, it was said, were drawn to each other. Or maybe it was the tailed beasts that were. Either way, it had been all too obvious that the jinchuuriki she'd found here had followed her out of the bar. He was leaving damn footprints: how naive!

"Hagrid!" Dumbledore greeted, looking highly amused. "And Miss Namikaze; how good of you to come."

Naruto snorted and seemed - to Hagrid - to melt out of the room's shadows. "Yo."

"Wha - Naruto! I'm sorry, Professor! I wasn' aware she'd... How did yeh get in here?!" Hagrid steamed, gesturing to Dumbledore's extravagant office. How did she hide like that while wearing bright orange?

"I followed you!"

"I tol' her teh stay with Poppy, Professor," Hagrid said exhaustedly.

"Sorry, but I need to talk to Dumbledore-sama about that jinchuuriki." Both men looked at Naruto in a way that screamed they didn't know what she was talking about - translating jutsu still going or not. "The..." Oh, how to phrase this? "The guy doing the chameleon jutsu or something like that? He's been... sealed, I suppose you would say - and that's not cool."

"Sealed," Dumbledore breathed blankly as he looked away from the unusually serious witch. "Chameleon? You mean that someone was blending into his or her surroundings?" he asked with a far-off look as Naruto shrugged her shoulders. He noticed that Miss Namikaze didn't seem to understand the spell - if it was a spell - which had been cast, and that was understandable. She had much to learn, and she needed to do it quickly. It was also remarkable that she had such an ability, even here, away from her homeland. Hagrid's always easily-discernable evasiveness caught his attention, too. "Are you aware of the spell used, Hagrid?"

It had better not have been Harry and his invisibility cloak. What am I going to do with that young man?!

Hagrid chuckled nervously and shifted on his feet, not noticing the way in which Naruto's mouth almost fell open as she shook her head at how obvious he was being.

There was no doubt in her mind that he knew something about that jinchuuriki.

"I can' be sure tha' she saw anythin', Professor. She did give Neville qui' the fright."

"You met Mr. Longbottom?" Albus asked, his eyes full of mischief.

"Yes," Naruto drawled, a little freaked out by the face the old man was making. What was it with old people making that face and getting their underlings in trouble or trying to play matchmaker?! To paraphrase a certain friend of hers, what a drag.

"Neville's alright: I like him! And he likes toads." Naruto then introduced Raiya-chan to the Headmaster, appreciating the way Dumbledore greeted him warmly and politely. She listened as Hagrid loudly whispered his belief that Naruto could speak to and understand toads, and tried to keep a straight face. Dumbledore caught her, though, but only gave her a quick wink.

He was harmless - as far as not being a perv - so that was good. Plus he was probably way too old for that stuff, Naruto thought. Kami! Why does my mind always go straight to the gutter?!

She blamed it on her sensei, masters, and Icha-Icha.

"We'll talk later, Hagrid. I'd like Miss Namikaze to stay."

"Oh! Yessir!" Hagrid said as he gave Naruto a significant look that shouted "behave yourself." Before he left the office, the headmaster had called him back.

Naruto snickered then put Raiya on Dumbledore's desk. He was a very well-behaved toad. She hid the fist she kept involuntarily making inside her pocket: this jinchuuriki thing was really freaking her out.

"Hagrid, will you be so good as to send Minerva to me?"

"O' course!" the big man said jovially. If Dumbledore planned to turn Naruto over to his deputy headmistress, that was no sweat off his brow. He planned to take a long nap after the last couple of days.

"I need you to be honest with me, Dumbledore-sama," Naruto began, biting her lower lip.

"Of course, my dear. If you'll be honest with me about human sacrifices?"

"I... I can do that," Naruto said, choosing to make this more about the other guy than her. "Umm. You rooted around in my head, right?" Dumbledore looked both sorry and like he might have taken offense to that description of what he'd done, so Naruto plowed forward. "You must have some understanding of what a kunai and a storage scroll are in my culture."

Dumbledore thought about what he'd seen in Naruto's mind. Indeed, he had seen both. A kunai was a type of weapon: a knife of sorts. A storage scroll... "Yes. I must say that I have not seen a scroll of that type in many years." Before Naruto showed up, he'd only heard of such scrolls described in history books!

"Oh. Well, that's unfortunate."

"Yes," Dumbledore agreed. He opened his desk drawer to reveal one of Naruto's storage pouches, which made her day. He pulled out one of the kunai that had a small piece of parchment wrapped around it. "I believe it is something like this."

"Yes, something like that," Naruto said evasively. He was holding her father's tri-pronged kunai - and not holding it properly. "Be careful with those: they're sharp. And there are a couple of other ones in there that explode." Dumbledore looked a little shocked, but also intrigued: she understood that. Exploding shit was awesome, a belief she'd learned was "Very Uzumaki" of her. "Judging from the pouch, they got wet, though, so I doubt they'll hold much of a charge, maybe not any at all. They were pretty cheap kunai, really, aside from that one. It kinda affects things..."

"ANYWAY," she continued. "A kunai can be stored in a storage scroll, but that doesn't mean that the storage scroll is the kunai. Or like, chopsticks inside a drawer aren't the drawer, right?" Where she came up with that analogy, she didn't know. It was probably because she was hungry.

"Or vice versa," Dumbledore concluded. He thought he knew where she was going with this, although some of Naruto's memories had been quite confusing. Digging deeper into them felt wrong to him, not to mention that there was a tremendous force of will that tried to keep his Legilimency at bay even while she was unconscious.

"YES! Well... Forget the word jinchuuriki: it's just distracting and stupid," Naruto said as she got up and began to pace. "It's not like in the movies where shinobi are sacrificing people for a giant animal, ya know. Really, what I want to know, is how a mass of energy got sealed in someone's forehead? That can't be safe! I mean, it's not near your chak - 'magical center' plus I don't know a lot about brains, but they're pretty necessary and that thing had to be right on top of his!" She finally turned toward the man again, seeing that something unsettling seemed to be sinking into his very bones.

It was the first time she had really felt how powerful this guy might be. Utterly calm, but powerful - and now almost unnerved. Being able to sense negative emotions thanks to Kurama, and being a pretty good judge of character - save for Sasuke who was a Bastard and got her into this situation - Naruto was a bit overwhelmed. "You know of whom I speak."

"Perhaps," he eventually said noncommittally in a low voice.

"It's not right: what's been done to him," Naruto said fiercely. The headmaster squinted at her in a way Naruto knew was assessing.

"If what you say is true," the professor began, looking concerned.

He picked up his wand, and before she could do anything about it - which was really saying something - he had flicked it. She felt her mind being tampered with - or maybe it was a genjutsu - before Kurama threw him out. Glaring at the man, Naruto's mouth moved on its own accord.

"He's like me, but there shouldn't have been any more of us. It's my responsibility. I'm supposedly the Child of Prophecy, but I'm here and my friends are trapped," she said before covering her mouth and closing her eyes. "How am I supposed to save them?"

Albus saw the look of betrayal on the girl's face but wouldn't apologize. "You are a powerful witch who uses magic differently from us, Miss Namikaze. I have a responsibility to secure the safety of all of those in this castle."

"I'm not going to hurt anyone," she hissed. Not anyone that doesn't deserve it, anyway!

Dumbledore-sama is in for a hell of a prank, she decided.

Finally forcing himself to smile at the witch, Albus sat back in his chair, feeling mental exhaustion he'd never admit. And now he had even more that he had to research... "Tomorrow, your classes will begin," he said, enjoying the way the witch absolutely shuddered. Miss Namikaze was intelligent but did not use her remarkable drive to pursue knowledge of history or theories. Many Hufflepuffs were similar, as were more than a few Gryffindors. "Normally, witches and wizards are sorted into houses: a house is much like your family."

When the witch's eyes teared up after staring into space for several seconds, he couldn't help but again pity her. It must have been deeply scarring to be a child soldier at such a young age.

"Your Genin team is like a family, Naruto..."

The Sandaime's words hadn't quite worked out that way, had they? Her missing arm and chest burned at the knowledge and memories. Naruto nodded and wished away her tears, sniffing loudly. She was also really pissed off at Dumbledore: hadn't he fucked with her mind enough before now?! It's not like she was some kind of Nara who had a lot of grey matter to back up the rest of her brain! And what the hell had been wrong with her, talking so much?

Surely she hadn't given him TOO much information with her few words, had she? She really needed to discuss all this with her father.

"There is room for you in Gryffindor. I would, however, like to see what the hat thinks."

Naruto looked up at him blankly. Those words made absolutely zero sense to her. "Do what?"

"The students here at Hogwarts are divided, or sorted, into four of what we call 'houses:' Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has a noble, storied history producing fine witches and wizards. While you are here, your best work will earn your house points, and RULEBREAKING, Miss Namikaze, will cause your entire house to LOSE points. It will affect your friends."

Dumbledore felt somewhat satisfied that the competitive witch's obvious interest in gaining points was tempered by how she could hurt others by engaging in what her previous society most likely considered normal behavior. Her changing expressions were very open and telling. "At the end of the school year, the house with the most points is awarded a trophy: the House Cup, and THAT, is a very great honor."

"Really?" Naruto asked, intrigued. "Like a trophy?" She knew some people who had trophies and had seen many more in civilian shops. She always wished she could do something to earn one. ...Even if Kakashi-sensei said that was silly.

"Really," Dumbledore confirmed, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

The blonde watched as Dumbledore walked to a stand before turning to her to put a ridiculous hat on her head.

The damn thing began singing. She listened in horrified fascination for a few verses, then threw her arms up in her mindscape.

"Shut up... please! You are being ridiculous" she said with a pout. "Wait: are you Dumbledore-sama's will or something?" That thought was scary to her: Zetsu described himself as "Kaguya's will." Yikes - poor word choice, Naruto!

The hat did shut up for a moment, then began to laugh.

"Great," Naruto breathed to herself, realizing that the damn thing was sentient. It didn't feel like it had normal chakra, though. "And now I've got another voice in my head."

"Are we in a sewer?" the hat asked curiously as he looked around.

"Yes," Naruto basically moaned. Her mind was embarrassing.

"Is that a fox? It's quite large and intimidating." The witch answered at the same time that her multi-tailed "friend" did.

"Yes," Naruto groaned. "Don't tell anyone, please."

"What did you... Who dares enter... Is that a talking hat on your head?"

"Yesss. I swear to Kami, this part of the world is so weird. I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake they said I was found in. Maybe the 'merpeople' will send me back to Konoha."

"Hmph. You look ridiculous."

Naruto pouted at the big meanie. "Me or the hat?!"

"Both!"

The hat was highly amused, although a little concerned about the "drowning" comment. He had no experience with such a defined second personality, especially one that was a mythical figure. What Dumbledore would do with such a person was up to him, he was only there to sort. As he began to root through the witch's feelings and thoughts, the second personality was becoming even more agitated than the first!

"Incredible bravery, but coupled with an insatiable need to prove oneself? That can be dangerous."

"Hey - Oh, that's... actually pretty insightful, hat!"

"Thank you," the hat said with a nod from atop her blonde mop of hair. The huge fox rolled its red, slitted eyes and laid down as if to sleep.

"You're not going to find much inside her empty head."

"So it seems," the hat said somewhat jokingly. He and the fox ignored the way the witch squawked at their views. "You're certainly not a fit for Ravenclaw. Pity. I'm sure they'd love to have a Montmorency grace their halls once again."

Naruto scratched the back of her head. Interestingly enough, in her mindscape, she had both arms. She hadn't given that any thought before. "No idea of what you're talking about there, dude -er, hat. I'd like to get back now."

"Yes, yes. As you are new and refused to listen to my song, I must inform you that House Gryffindor is known for bravery at heart and daring. Gryffindors are also known for their chivalrous nature."

Naruto wondered if that would be a good fit for her, or if she even understood this strange "House" system. No matter what, she'd like to think that she was brave and daring, but chivalrous? She tried to be as honorable as she could throughout her life outside of missions, but ninjas weren't samurai. In their jobs, they couldn't afford to think like that.

"Hufflepuffs are famed for being loyal, just, and true. They are unafraid of hard work."

"I've never been afraid of hard work!" She might not be the self-appointed "Genius of Hard Work" that Lee certainly was, but she was pretty damn hardworking. And no one could say that she wasn't a true friend, or that she didn't speak her mind - if that's what he meant by "true."

"Your Montmorency ancestors were primarily Ravenclaws. Those in House Ravenclaw have wit and a love of learning," the hat continued, rephrasing his song and knowing that was the wrong place for the blonde witch. She did love learning things, but needed assistance, and not only because she was a foreign newcomer. Miss Namikaze's longing for family rang through to him clearly, and the hat wondered if she would request he place her there, regardless.

"Finally, there is House Slytherin. Slytherins are known as cunning folk that will use any means to achieve an end."

Naruto mulled that over, chewing on the inside of her lip. "Any means to achieve an end:" isn't that the trap that the Akatsuki and Obito had fallen into? Or, better said, what they chose to ignore in their pursuit of peace and a supposedly perfect world? Even Nagato?

"Please don't put me there," Naruto said.

"Cunning is not equivalent to evil," the hat remarked.

"I never said it was. So," she sighed, wanting to get this over and deal with the consequences of being... her. "What do you think?"

Just as he was about to announce that the witch belonged in Hufflepuff, the hat noticed that the headmaster's hand had been raised. "Headmaster?"

"There is room for her in Gryffindor."

"Of course," the hat said disappointedly. A headmaster had only gone against his advice, or not taken it at all, on a few occasions throughout history, and it always left him salty. "Gryffindor will be a fine fit," he said as Naruto pulled him off her head. "It's been a pleasure, Miss Namikaze."

Naruto gave him a polite but only slight nod, grimacing as she did so. Hopefully, what the hat had said about Gryffindors was really general. And even though she hopefully wouldn't be stuck here long, she still hoped that she might find some friends.

Plus, she had to do something about that jinchuuriki. If he was a student at this school, it wasn't like he could hide from her.