Chapter Twenty-Two
"The end of labor is to gain leisure, is that not what Aristotle said?"
Arthur was in a cave. It was damp and dripping and he wasn't holding a torch, but he could see around him just fine.
Ahead of him a figure walked. He started to follow and the figure became recognizable even from the back. A man in a dark vest and black hair with a confident stride. It was Dutch.
At the end of the tunnel was a ladder, lit up like it were on a stage. A woman, small and old stood waiting at the bottom, speaking words Arthur didn't understand.
Without warning, Dutch strode up to the woman and pushed her against the ladder by the neck.
What are you doin'? Arthur tried to ask, but it came out a dry cough and he couldn't find his voice.
Dutch choked the old woman and Arthur tried to move, to help her, but his feet were stuck and somehow he was up to his knees in muddy swamp water.
When he looked up again, it wasn't the old woman Dutch was strangling, but Charlotte.
In a panic, Arthur tried again and again to pull himself out, to say anything that would stop his mentor, but nothing worked. Dutch finished killing Charlotte and she slumped to the ground, eyes closed, face ghostly pale and body unsettlingly still.
When he looked to Dutch in grief, the man faced him and shook his head. "All I wanted from you, son, was some goddamn faith..."
Arthur startled awake, sweating and shaking with the sun blasting his eyes. His heart raced in the worst kind of way. After a few more seconds, he got his bearings and realized he weren't in no cave. He sat up, covered his eyes and took in a shuddering breath. He weren't in Guarma no more, and he weren't running with Dutch neither. He was in a houseboat and Charlotte was fine.
He opened his eyes and looked back to the bed to reassure himself. The fear that hadn't gone away surged again. Charlotte weren't there. Where the hell was she? His heartbeat picked up and he reached for his boots and shoved them on hurriedly.
As soon as he finished, the door opened and Charlotte stepped in. She smiled warmly at him. "Good morning, Arthur."
He stared at her a moment before looking away and grunting a non-reply. Mostly, he was in shock that she stood before him as if nothing were wrong, but he was also embarrassed by the pitiful direction of his anxious thoughts. He barely held himself from jumping up, grabbing her, and holding her tight to make sure she was alive.
Charlotte went on about something, but he couldn't concentrate on her words nor could he look at her. The nightmare was too close to the surface and the vision of her dead couldn't be made real.
She was handing him water and he gripped the cup firmly to hide his trembling.
"Did you sleep well?"
No! He gave her a slight nod.
"How's your arm?"
"Fine," he said shortly. His arm was the least of his concerns right now. "I told ya it was nothing."
"I'll want to take a look at it just the same."
"Alright, already." Damn it. He couldn't stop snapping at her when all he wanted to do was touch her.
"Arthur." Charlotte positioned herself in front of where he sat on the bed. She startled him when she moved even closer, to stand in between his spread knees. What the hell was she doing?
Arthur finally tipped his head back and she placed her palms on each side of his face, forcing him to meet her kind gaze. At her touch, he released a shuddering breath. She was warm, she was real, she was alive.
"Let's try this again, shall we?" Charlotte leaned in and pressed her lips against his, moving slowly against his mouth and melting all the fear.
Too soon, she started to pull away from him. Arthur wasn't ready to let her go. He wrapped his good arm around her waist and drew her in closer without breaking the kiss.
He devoured her, silently demanding more and she didn't protest. She moaned against his mouth, but she wasn't close enough to him. With his hold on her, he twisted and hauled her onto the bed. She landed on her back and he was over her, blocking out everything so she was the only thing in his vision. He hovered above her, staring into her vivid, light-green eyes. They reminded him of the pretty grasslands of the Heartlands, of riding a horse through open fields, of a sweet freedom he always wanted more of.
Charlotte smiled up at him and her fingers drifted lightly across his beard. "Good morning, Arthur."
"Mornin'," he said roughly. Now that he was looking at her, he was afraid of what he'd done. "Did I hurt you any?"
"Not at all."
Arthur believed her, but he felt guilty for his earlier sharp words. "I'm sorry." He let out a breath. "I didn't mean to come off as unfriendly. Had a bad dream stuck in my head when you walked in."
"That's alright." She rubbed her thumb over the scar on his chin. "You've already made up for it."
"You ain't changed your mind about wantin' to keep me around?"
"Mmm...you haven't said anything to dissuade me as of yet."
Arthur buried his face in her neck and his whiskers lightly scratched across her skin, making her gasp. This was dangerous. He knew that, but her skin was soft and tasted of the campfire from last night.
In her ear, he said in low tones, "If Mrs. Adler weren't upstairs, I might be tempted to keep on."
As he nuzzled her, Charlotte said faintly, "Sadie...isn't here."
All desire to continue stopped dead. Arthur lifted up from her. "What?"
She seemed dazed, but she blinked and explained, "I heard her leave a few hours ago, before daybreak."
"Shit!" Arthur pulled off of her hastily and Charlotte sat up, looking confused. He snatched up his hat from the counter and slammed out the door.
Arthur leaped up the steps and saw right away Sadie weren't there. He went back down and stared in the direction she had hitched Bob last night. Gone. Dread curdled his stomach.
Charlotte walked out of the cabin, smoothing the wrinkles from her skirt. She asked calmly, "What is going on?"
"I don't know for certain, but I damn well have a good idea." Arthur was ready to hit something. "Goddammit! She just couldn't resist huntin' down Micah on her own, could she?"
"Who's Micah?"
"The same piece of shit I was goin' after until..." He trailed off and cast her a sidelong look, changing his mind about telling her midway through his explanation.
But she seemed to comprehend enough because she asked with concern, "Is Sadie in trouble?"
"If she ain't, then I'll eat my hat," he muttered. "That woman is better at sniffing out trouble than a goddamn bloodhound."
Charlotte plucked up a rifle leaning against the wall and said decisively, "Then we have to track after her."
Arthur stared at her. Had she lost her mind? "Firstly, where she's gone ain't safe."
"Perhaps, we can—"
"Secondly, if we was going anywhere, there ain't gonna be no 'we' about it."
She frowned. "Arthur—"
"And lastly," He snatched the gun from her hands. "You ain't gettin' into no more gunfights if I got any say in it."
She blew out an exasperated breath. "Come now, you're being impossible."
Arthur glared at her. How such an agreeable and soft woman turned so downright obstinate and strong-willed in a matter of minutes astounded him once again. When she got a cockeyed idea in her head, she latched onto it tougher than a dog with a bone.
"Arthur, you can't hide from me all the bad in this world. I'm well aware of its existence."
In all truths, he had no intention of pursuing Sadie, even on his own. She'd made her choice clear and it didn't include him. "This fight ain't yours. It ain't even mine anymore."
Charlotte protested, "What if Sadie needs our help?"
"She can damn well handle herself, if she's so inclined."
"And I can't?"
"No."
Her face fell with disappointment and Arthur hated that he was the one to cause it, but short of barricading her inside, he didn't know what the hell else to do. Mostly, he wished he hadn't left the comfort of her arms in the first place.
Arthur thought that was the end of it, but Charlotte was nothing if not persistent. "You can't leave your friend without assistance."
"Sadie's a damn maniac who attracts trouble like a moth to the flame so she's used to it." He rested his hands on her arms, and said in a softer tone, "This killing, even if it's just villains, it changes you."
She lifted her chin in a stubborn way. "Likely, I'm due for a few changes."
"Charlotte." He didn't want her thinking like that. He moved a hand to her cheek. "Even if that were true, this ain't the way to do it."
"We have to do something."
He sighed and dropped his hand from her. "Why you all rarin' to get yourself killed?"
"I'm not." She pressed her lips together before continuing, "Arthur, I'll never be as skilled as you are, on a horse, with a gun, in a fight..."
"And I don't want you to be."
"But I refuse to live in a state of fear," she said fiercely. "If there's something that can be done, I intend on getting involved."
Ben had tried to convince Arthur he wouldn't be a burden on her, but that just wasn't true and this moment proved it. Charlotte would always try to be strong for him, whether that was managing his illness, raising his spirits or throwing her lot in with this violent nonsense he encountered on a regular basis.
That wasn't to say another part of Arthur wasn't drawn in by the prospect. If he wanted her at his back, she'd be there, even though it weren't a situation she'd ever been in. It wasn't easy to find a person, let alone a woman, with her kind of courage, especially one who hadn't ended up hard-eyed about the world.
"Darn it." Charlotte pointed behind Arthur. "It seems our disagreement has been rendered moot."
Arthur turned around to find a wagon rolling down the muddy path. It was Sadie, driving up on a cart with her own horse trailing behind. She jumped from the wagon as Arthur strode up to her. He heard Charlotte following behind him.
When he saw she weren't driving any old horse and cart, but that it was Vee, he said in surprise, "You got our horse and wagon back."
"Yep." Sadie grinned at him cockily. "Bastards didn't even get a chance to open it up."
"You took on a bunch of Murfrees by yourself?" Not Micah?
She shrugged. "Only a half dozen of 'em. I knew they had a small camp up the river aways."
"And you didn't tell me," he stated flatly.
"You know, Arthur," Sadie petted her horse. "You have a real bad habit of stating the obvious."
Arthur took the time to look over Vee. He didn't see any evidence that the old boy had come to any harm. "So, you didn't go to Lakay?"
"Oh, I didn't say that." She pointed with her thumb behind her. An unconscious blonde man bound and gagged lay on his stomach across her horse's back.
Arthur's mouth dropped open. "Micah?"
Sadie scowled. "No. Didn't find that swine. Must've already moved on. That there's Mr. Stone, my bounty. Least I got something out of clearing Lakay a second time."
While Arthur disagreed with the manner in which she'd gone about it, he grudgingly had to admire her. Sadie was fearless, always had been. Part of what scared him about her.
Charlotte, on the other hand, had no qualms about openly expressing her enthusiasm. "Sadie, you've done a marvelous job of it. How can we repay you for getting Vee back and returning all of our things?" Sadie glanced at her oddly, but Charlotte hadn't noticed as she uncovered the canvas from the wagon. "Would you come into town with us so I can buy you a meal?"
Sadie shifted in place. "It was nothing. Don't make a big deal out of it."
"Alright, if that's how you want it." Charlotte returned to stand next to them. "In any case, I'm relieved it all went well for you, Sadie. Only a moment ago, I was trying to convince Arthur we should go after you."
"You were?" Sadie sent her a puzzled frown. "Why?"
Charlotte's eyes widened in surprise. "To help you out, of course."
"Thanks," said Sadie gruffly as she crossed her arms and glanced away. "I guess."
Arthur scratched his chin, feeling a grin taking over. I'll be damned. Least he weren't the only one always being disarmed by Charlotte's sincerity.
"Anyhow, I gotta head out." Sadie nodded. "Just wanted to drop off the wagon before I got the pilfering Mr. Stone here back to Valentine."
Charlotte went in for a hug, which was brave in his opinion, but Sadie didn't snap at her, only responded with an awkward pat. "My cabin is north of Annesburg. You're welcome to visit anytime. I liked our conversation."
Arthur just bet she did. Sadie had no hesitancy in exposing secrets of the gang to her. He didn't even wanna know what dirty deeds she'd revealed that he'd been trying keep hidden from Charlotte.
Sadie sent him a cheeky grin. "I'm sure I'm a big improvement after getting stuck alone with this grump."
"Careful, Mrs. Adler," Arthur warned half-heartedly. "Them's fightin' words."
Charlotte said, "I rather enjoy Arthur's company."
"Yeah," snorted Sadie. "If you like 'em moody, angry and snarling."
Charlotte only smiled.
Arthur started, "Hey, if you ever see Marston again, you wanna..." He stopped. What? He'd likely be dead by the time John found out he was alive, if the fool didn't get himself caught or killed in the meantime.
"If I see him, I'll let him know, honey." Sadie kissed his cheek. "You let Miss Charlotte take care of you now, so I can see you again."
"You worry about your own skin and that won't be a problem."
"You ain't my keeper, Arthur." Sadie winked, and hopped onto her horse Bob. She saluted them both and took off at a speed that had Mr. Stone waking and groaning in pain.
As they lost sight of her, Charlotte turned to him. "Shall we head out as well? Or do you think Vee needs some time to rest?
"He'll be alright," Arthur answered. "He's strong. Probably wants to stretch his legs out here after livin' in that cramped city. I know I would."
He didn't say it out loud, but the sooner they were out of the swamps, the better. The feeling of being caught in the mud in his nightmare hadn't entirely left his consciousness. Besides that, without Sadie to back them up again, he didn't want to linger near in case of stray Murfrees.
Arthur lent a hand for Charlotte to climb on the wagon. She scooted in the seat and he followed her up, wincing when he stretched his shot arm too far.
The day was cloudy and humid, but once they left the swamps behind, the air grew drier and easier on the lungs. Charlotte seemed excited to be on her way home. She chatted pleasantly on about her garden and what she wanted to get done around the house. Arthur eased into a relaxed state as he drove and listened to her.
Luck was with them and they didn't run into any more ambushes, reaching Van Horn without incident. At the stable, Charles had left a note with the owner. It was addressed to him and Charlotte and wished them both well with a promise to stop by when he came through again.
Charlotte collected Jane while Arthur loaded her saddle onto the cart. Arthur decided it was easier to hitch Jane behind the wagon rather than either of them fumbling to ride her. His wound was burning and Arthur wasn't too sure on Charlotte's confidence in riding that long by herself or driving a cart over hills and tight corners. And he suspected if he asked her, she'd readily agree to one or the other, even if it had her on edge the whole time.
When he returned to Charlotte, she was greeting Jane. "Hello, girl, it hasn't been too long, has it?" She looked to him. "I do believe she missed us."
"I bet she has." Arthur took Jane's lead, patting her as he did so. "Let's get her home."
Charlotte cast him a smile and the sincerity of it blew him away. He'd been falling for her for awhile, but only now was he understanding how far. And with it, a truth he could hardly admit to himself. A fear of what came next.
"There's nothing to be afraid of, Mr. Morgan," Sister Calderon's reassurance drifted through his mind. "Take a gamble that love exists and do a loving act."
Well, he'd done that. What he'd thought was his last act in life at least, getting Marston to safety. Now...
Hell, maybe some of Marston's endless dumb luck had rubbed off on him in the process. Ever since death had spit him back into the world, Arthur had struggled with this time he didn't know how to spend. If he was the good man Charlotte thought him, he'd saddle up Jane and get outta here and far away. The last thing he wanted was to put her in danger for associating with him.
Arthur shook his head. He wasn't a good man and—it was selfish—but he wasn't about to leave her either.
"Is something bothering you, Arthur?"
His brow furrowed. "Uh...no?"
Charlotte had her head tilted and was studying him. "Because you haven't said a word to me since Van Horn."
Arthur looked around and took in his surroundings. They were about to pass through Annesburg. He didn't even remember traveling the trails. He glanced back to Jane to make sure she'd been following alright 'cause he certainly hadn't been paying attention. Damn, was his mind going too, as well as his body?
"Sorry." Arthur rubbed the back of his neck. "Got a lot on my mind, I guess."
"Anything I can help with?"
"Mrs. Balfour," he chuckled a little. "You've done more than enough for me in this life. Likely more help than most would prefer for an outlaw, if you ask the right person."
"Then I shall have to keep from asking," she said with amusement.
Soon enough, they crested the hill, in view of Willard's Rest at last, and damn if it didn't feel like a return journey home. Arthur pulled the cart up close to the shed and dismounted. Charlotte followed his lead in unhooking Vee, working with him silently. They let the horses loose to graze and he moved the saddles and reins into the shed for safekeeping.
As Arthur shut the door, Charlotte stood waiting for him. She held her arms as if she were cold. "I understand if this is farewell."
"Uh..." He was confused for a moment before he remembered the only thing he'd promised Charlotte out loud was that he'd escort her home. Was she thinkin' that whole ride he intended on taking off the moment they arrived?
"However, I'd prefer it not to be." A fire sparked in her eyes, one he recognized as her strengthening will. "If you can't stay, I ask that my home be your anchor. That, when you roam, you won't hesitate to make your way back here. "
"Yeah..." Except, that was the problem. The desire to wander weren't there. At the same time, fear still held him back from telling her his mind. He could feel he was on the edge of a monumental decision, but he was afraid to make a leap and have a good life be pulled out from under him, like it had time and time again. With Mary, with Eliza and Isaac, even with the gang, which he'd stupidly thought would be a family he could count on forever. Happy endings weren't in his favor.
"That being said," Charlotte continued unexpectedly, "I let you leave once without objection, but I won't do so again. You mean quite a lot to me and I hope the same is true for your part." She gazed up at him with innocent appeal and begged softly, "Please stay, Arthur."
Could a righteous man even resist such temptation? Her words moved him in a way that cut through doubt and trepidation. Arthur cleared his throat. "I, uh, never did give you a straight answer. 'Bout living here with you, I mean."
Something akin to hope flickered in her eyes. "After all the excitement from yesterday...and this morning, I suppose you didn't."
How did he tell her? That all he wanted to do right now was put a fire on, make some coffee and sit down and talk with her about everything that had transpired the last few days, 'til they were both so hoarse from talking they'd turn in to bed and continue their conversation in whispers, cuddled up until it was more than talk and laughter, but touching and exploring...
Charlotte slipped her arms around his neck, startling him back to reality. She didn't rise up and kiss him as he wanted, but tilted her head and said, "I'm listening."
It shoulda had him nervous and tongue-tied, having her so close and attentive. Instead, her steady gaze calmed him and he admitted, "It ain't that I don't want this, 'cause I do." He wrapped his arms around her. "More than anything, I want it."
"As do I," she said softly.
"The thing is..." Arthur tightened his grip slightly, as if he feared she would run. "You gotta know I ain't never gonna be able to stop lookin' over my shoulder, no matter what the situation seems like."
She studied him a moment before saying in a reasonable tone, "I don't see why we can't share that burden. After all, two pairs of eyes are better than one."
She said it as if were she were agreeing to a household chore they could do together. He warned, "It ain't gonna be easy."
Charlotte lifted her shoulders. "It never is, is it?"
"I don't know how..." Arthur faltered and swallowed. "...how long I got."
"Life is certainly unpredictable." She raised a palm to his face directing him to meet her gaze again. "All we can do is persevere and continue onward."
Almost desperately, he asked her, "How do you make it sound so simple?"
"What I see, what I feel..." her fingers curled in circles on the back of his neck and he shuddered. "...is simple."
"You got an answer to everything, don't ya?" Arthur grumbled, but a weight had been lifted at her words.
She laughed. "Perhaps I do." Her hand roamed down his arm and she interlaced her fingers with his. "Let's head inside. You can test that theory while I get some coffee and biscuits started."
With Charlotte stating exactly what he'd been thinking moments ago, it hit him. All them years, all that talk Dutch had about paradise and living free was wrong. It weren't a place, and it sure as hell weren't on a damn island in the ocean. He'd been on them beaches and they weren't nothing special.
This, this right here, was all he'd wanted his whole damn life. A home he could feel safe in, with a woman who made him want to be a better version of himself.
Charlotte was his Tahiti.
Arthur lifted their locked hands and kissed hers, watching her breath catch. "There ain't nothin' I've wanted more in a long time." He lingered above her lips and murmured, "I love you, Charlotte."
Her eyes widened before fluttering closed as she whispered, "I love you too, Arthur."
She swayed towards him and their lips met. For the first time, he surrendered fully to her. She had his heart, his mind and his soul all at her command. She had him weak, but he wasn't alone. Charlotte was just as affected, judging by her sharp inhale, the rise of her chest and the heat of her body as she pressed against him until they could be no closer.
When they eventually parted, Charlotte's cheeks were stained pink and her eyes unfocused, but a smile swept her lips. Arthur may have been leaning on her to steady himself.
He asked huskily, "What happens now?"
She squeezed his hand. "How about that coffee?"
He tipped his hat to her with a happy grin. "Lead the way, ma'am."
They strode up to the house together, hand in hand and it felt right, like Arthur was finally headed in the direction of his true fate. He'd once asked Hamish how he liked livin' on his own and had grown envious of the content in the old man's voice, with him only having hunting trophies and the wilderness for company.
But that ain't what Arthur truly wanted anyway. He wanted to share his life. He didn't always make the most pleasant of companions, but he'd sure do his best for Charlotte.
"Look, Arthur!" Charlotte suddenly clamped on his arm with excitement, grabbing near his wound and he bit his tongue to hold in a groan. He'd told her it wasn't hurting him and he wasn't about to admit he'd been lying. "It's Puck! I told you he'd still be here."
Damned if she weren't right. A gray fuzzball was curled under the porch bench and it lifted its head at Charlotte's exclamation. Of more concern, Arthur spotted a huge, dead rat at the base of the front door. Cat musta killed it and left it in a misguided attempt at friendship. "Er, you might wanna avert your eyes so I can—"
"Is that a rat?" She turned to him with wide eyes. "Puck left a gift. That's what that means, right?"
Charlotte broke from him and Arthur watched her run up and praise that mangy animal for bringing her a damn carcass as if it were exactly what she'd wanted. The cat rubbed against her and allowed her to pick him up. She won that cat's attention in the end after all.
Then Arthur thought on the way she'd healed him back to life. Not only with his injuries, but the wound over his heart too. When he'd been in a place he didn't think he could come back from, she'd pulled him through it by sheer determination and affection.
Charlotte cast him a look of triumph from the porch. "Perhaps I can persuade him to stay for good this time."
"You know, darlin'..." Arthur wrapped his arm around her, raggedy cat and all, and smiled. "I reckon, maybe you can."