Chapter 14:

Rose traced her delicate finger around the stem of her wine glass. This was her third glass and it had done nothing to ease her state in any way. Her reflection in the vanity unit which she sat at stared back at her; she failed to recognise the person. The young girl who was full of potential, the one who swore would never be hurt again. Yet here she was engaged to be married to the one person who had left her at her lowest. He had used her, abused her and now she had gone back, out of the same fear. Now, with the freedom that she had; her mother was abed, her fiancé had left town and the world was out to be sampled without any kind of hold back and yet, because of Jack, she felt no need to go. No need to escape. He was her only way of leaving. The only fantasy which she had was now gone.

Her face was flushed. Her braid had loosened and her dress fell from one shoulder; an indication that she had lost weight, her lack of appetite was finally taking its toll. Her eyes seemed hollow, distant and less green than they had been. Perhaps the life was slowly draining out of her. Succumbing to a deathly dull marriage.

She sighed heavily. The clock read it was five to midnight. Tomorrow would be another day. Another day of nothing. Her Mother had wedding plans for them. She couldn't remember what. The rest of her wine slipped down perfectly as she felt it burn her stomach. The days which Cal was in New York should be some of the most exciting of her life; he was purchasing their marital home. One that she had been allowed to choose herself. Cal had gone leaving her alone, a sign that he also trusted her. Should he be a fool? For Rose knew the old 'her' would be planning to escape now, to leave the house and never return but she knew she had no strength left to fight anymore. The life that she would have wanted was gone. Jack Dawson was gone. To another woman.

The familiar sound of an engine came, quietly. Rose quickly turned her head to the window; there was no car lights. She was imagining it. She turned back to her own reflection, thinking back to the times when Jack had come for her and she hadn't been there. She couldn't have gone without leading Jack to trouble. Now, here she was, senile enough to be recalling the sounds of Dodge's engine; how it whirled and then sort of juddered rather than purring. Like it was an old steam train rather than just a motorcar. How familiar the damned sounds were after she had been in it only three or four times. How she longed to hear it come in the middle of the night to collect her from misery.

Rose heard it again and she stopped breathing just to hear its sounds. The engine stopped and it sounded nearby, right outside of her house. She placed her wine glass on the vanity unit and went to the window. She didn't peep, but lifted the net curtain and poked her head out; a green Dodge was parked outside and Jack was sat inside. He didn't have any headlights on. Through the window she could see him watching her. She swallowed a giant lump in her throat. He didn't take his eyes away from her. Her mouth had gone dry and she licked her lips.

With a pounding heart, louder than Rose had ever known it, she wanted to take herself away and go to bed; marry Cal, leave Jack be. But then, there was the rational side. Jack had returned. he had come back, for God knows what reason but surely, she had to find out?

She knew that she should just tell him to leave, for so many reasons but before she knew it, she was opening the door to her balcony and glancing about for a way to get down without using the front door. Rose closed the door behind her, as quietly as she could. She noticed the trellis which started either side of the balcony. Shaking, she was careful to arrange her dress as she climbed onto the wall of the thin balcony and reached out to the wooden trellis. Different flowers and plants threaded through the wood and she was careful to not splinter herself. The climb down was fairly easy but then she did wonder if it was because she had drunk more wine than usual. Jack had wound the window down and she could see his face so clearly, for the first time in weeks her stomach flipped. His face was serious. She avoided eye contact as she quickly walked to the car, arranging her dress and her hair as she did so. Jack got out of the car and went to the passenger side to open the door for her. She smiled weakly. He never forgotten how to treat a girl. Jack slammed the door after she had climbed in and looked about before climbing in himself, without the need for any eye contact between them. Within seconds he had fastened his seatbelt and they were pulling away from her road.

It wasn't until they reached the next street that Jack turned on his headlights.

Rose's hands joined in her lap. Jack sensed something different, so much was different. He drove down a long straight road as he stole side glances in between keeping his eyes on the road. She had changed, lost weight and her dress was something she hadn't worn before. He wanted to reach out to her, to hold her hand but the large diamond ring on her fourth, left finger stopped him.

''I came for you before.'' Jack told her, quietly.

Jack lifted her eyes from the windscreen. ''I know. I am sorry, I was – unable to come.''

Jack nodded. ''He hurt you again, didn't he.'' He didn't even hesitate. He had been hesitant for too damned long.

She was surprised by his question but then she remembered how direct he was. That was Jack. ''He'd hurt you too, if he knew that you had come for me. That was why I didn't come.'' She told him and it was the truth.

''Like they hurt Tommy?'' Jack felt his hands grasp the steering wheel harder. She threw him a questioning look as though she hadn't a clue of what he was talking about. Of course, she wouldn't, all Cal wanted her for was a great showpiece upon his arm.

''Yeah, after a dance, Ethan was told by Cara than Tommy wanted her, she set him up to get hurt. Ethan took Tommy with one of his other cronies and beat the shit out of him. Tommy got them back and they haven't been seen since.'' Jack laughed. ''I wouldn't mess with Tommy. He can fight.''

So, that was the reason why Ethan was currently 'indisposed', he had been hurt by Tommy. Rose knew that he would be resting up, but thinking of bigger and better revenge.

''I had no idea. Was it for Cal's birthday?''

''How should I know?''

''A party at the ballroom last week?'' Rose exhaled, not wishing to go into detail of that night.

''Yes. That was it.''

Rose nodded. There was something else which stung her though. Something which she had thought of since her eyes had witnessed it that same night.

''I heard that you've been out and about with some other girl.'' The words slipped from her mouth, like a jealous ex-girlfriend. She hadn't realised just how she would sound. She twiddled her engagement ring around her finger. The truth was, Rose didn't even know if she wanted a response; because it would either be the truth or a lie. Both would hurt her equally.

Why had she said such a thing, but it was what had been going around in her head for a while. Seeing them together was one long, painful stab to the stomach.

Jack's stomach fell as soon as she had said the words. He felt his head throb and then he did something he knew he shouldn't. His right-hand dove into her lap, holding onto her hand tightly. His eyes met hers as he did.

''What you have heard it is true.''

Rose nodded. Of course, she knew it was. ''I know that much because I saw you.''

Jack's eyes widened. ''When?''

She loosened her grip on his hand but she didn't want him to remove it completely knowing that it would be the last time that he would be so close to her, that they would have any contact.

''At the party for Cal's birthday at the ballroom. I was there. Cal had his eye on me all night and I wanted to come to see you but I didn't get the opportunity until he had gone.'' She closed her eyes for a moment. ''I came outside and I saw Cara get into your car, you two were kissing and then the car was gone.''

Jack felt his heart tighten. These were parts of the night which he couldn't remember. He was silent as he found a clearing amongst some bushes near the bridge and turned off the headlights. They were sat in the complete dark. He took both of her hands in his and she saw how his eyes sparkled in the night's dimness. How beautiful it was to see the pure emotion within his eyes again although it was for bittersweet reasons.

''Rose, I didn't know that it was her.'' He squeezed his eyes closed. ''I thought, in my drunken state that it was you. I asked her for you.''

''How?''

''I don't fuckin' know!'' Jack snapped, squeezing her hand for her forgiveness at his outburst. ''I was stupid enough to be drunk, to try to forget that I had seen your engagement announcement that morning. I was completely a mess.''

Rose's lips parted, ''I thought-''

''I wanted none of it.'' He told her. ''I was drunk and stupid. I couldn't stop thinking about you and I thought that you didn't want me. I saw the engagement in the papers, you wouldn't come out to me no more...I knew Cal had locked you up there again but if I could have just gotten to you...'' He trailed off, every single word which he had kept inside for the last two weeks had fallen out of his mouth. ''I thought about you every day. I only went to the dance to see if you were perhaps there, I didn't know it was for Cal's birthday. Cara told me...'' He realised that every time he said her name, Rose winced. He struggled to breathe from talking so much but she hadn't let go of his hand.

She couldn't speak for a minute or so. In the dark, he was so handsome and as she traced her eyes from his hair to his lips she remembered just how lovely it was to be kissed by him. Her lips pressed together as her breathing seemed to have slowed.

''I've been there, too.'' She whispered. ''I have been there too many damned times.''

''You have?''

Rose nodded. ''I will marry Cal in two weeks, Jack. We are moving to New York together. He went today on business and to buy the house.''

The words were like single but painful gun shots to Jack's chest, his stomach...

''You're-you're going?'' He stuttered.

''I don't have a choice, Jack.'' She hesitantly pulled her hands away from his. ''We knew that this car journey would either end up in burning flames or paradise. The truth is that the latter doesn't exist in my world.''

Jack faced forward placing both of his hands on the steering wheel just to calm himself. He was angry but it wasn't at Rose, it was at him. ''You don't love him, do you?''

Rose felt the tears come to her eyes. ''No, you know that.'' She was weak, so damned weak.

''Then don't marry him.'' He urged. His hands were suddenly on her cheeks, in her hair and she was closer to him than she had been before. Oh, what was this like?

''No, I have to.'' Calming her racing heart was so much harder than she realised for he caused everything to tremble.

''Why? Leave him.''

She didn't have an answer. She didn't even think of one as he was so close to her. Nervously, Rose lifted her eyes from her lap and up to Jack. She watched as his tender hand touched her left cheek. He felt how cold she was even in the warm car and he pulled her body a little closer to his by placing his hand on the small of her back. The same place where days before Cal had bruised and now the pain seemed to go. She was healed.

He leaned forward ever so slightly, so that their lips came into contact for just the briefest few moments. Rose felt her heart flutter and all of her nerves seemed to disappear. Gently, Jack took her right hand in his left and moved forward once again. He kissed her again with more passion than the first time. She could feel his warmth next to her, but yet she still shivered. The outside world seemed to disappear. It was just them now. No more words were needed to express what each felt towards the other. Rose felt as though there was no air. She was dizzy. She struggled and time stood still. This was the moment which she played over and over in her head and yet she hadn't managed to prepare herself enough for what would happen. She had wanted to be kissed again just the way Jack did. Now he couldn't stop.

Jack wrestled with the urge to keep kissing her; he knew he couldn't stop now. She had offered hesitation but when he pulled away from her she began to struggle once again in his grip. He couldn't let her go not when he was so close.

''I can't stop wanting you.'' He whispered breathlessly as he leant forward again. They had both held back for so long. Their hands entwined and touched each other. He clutched her to him tightly, needing to feel his body press so firmly against hers. She leant against him, feeling her body ache for him so much. She was so intoxicated that she couldn't stop and they didn't care who saw. They both needed to relive the tension which had built up between them for so long. His tongue massaged hers so strongly that she felt the strength. They pulled each other so closely as though their lives depended on it. The passion which had exploded was immense and she felt the need to feel his naked torso pressed so tightly against her own. She could hear his breathe, the raggedness and the struggle which he had kept up for so long. She had her own struggle but now she felt the unhappiness drain away from her body and it was replaced by a strong need to be with Jack, an almost animal longing which only grew stronger.

"There are so many complications in my life, Jack. If only you knew the half of it.''

''Then tell me, Rose. I won't stop wanting you.''

Rose shook her head against his chest, but she knew that it was damned impossible to even begin, now.

''That's why I can't tell you, because I know that regardless you will stay and I cannot put you at risk.''

Jack held onto her hands, sturdy and tense. ''Rose, the day that I took you home from the Grill, I was putting myself at risk by helping you, now tell me, please.''