Chapter 15:

Rose sat back in the passenger seat, her heart still racing from the kiss. She placed a hand right there on her chest. It didn't calm one little bit. None of this made sense, yet she couldn't stay away from him. He was the one person who made her feel the way she did, that was a first. He too, was out of breath from their kiss. It all seemed to melt together as one beautiful, blurred evening and the trust which she found within his eyes were there and so, she started to speak.

''When my father died, he left a lot of debt. My mother sees it as my duty to marry, to solve those problems. My mother and I-'' She thought of how to explain her mother's controlling ways, ''we never saw things the same way.''

Jack listened, needing to know everything. His eyes didn't leave her face as he drank everything in. ''Must be hard not having a Mother who understands you.''

''Oh, believe me, she could understand, she just chooses not to. She was born into a very prominent family during the First War and when she married my Father, five hundred members of society attended.''

Jack laughed. ''What were they movie stars?''

''Something like that. Perhaps, just the equivalent in their world. Nothing else matters but this wedding, Jack. If I leave, my Mother would never be able to work, she has no such skills. I have no skills.''

''But you learn these things. These tools. No one is born with them.''

''I know that, Jack. I would be willing to leave, to learn and to gain independence but either my mother wouldn't allow it, or she is terrified of it happening for what would the world say about our fall from grace?''

Jack watched her for a minute. This beautiful and perfect girl who was plagued by such burdens, insecurities and had the weight of the world upon her shoulders. He saw how everything about her had reverted back to how she had been before. Afraid. Scared. With him, she had allowed herself a taste of freedom and he had seen just how happy she had been, even just for those few hours.

''You know Rose, they've got you trapped in that house, in that world.'' He told her softly. ''You're going to die if you don't break free. Maybe not right away, because you are so strong but-'', he leant forward to see if she would allow him to touch her face, to feel her skin, he ached to, ''that fire that I love about you, Rose. That fire will burn out.''

It felt as though the air had been ripped from her lungs. Every single nerve ending was on fire just from one single touch. Everything which he had said was true, she was trapped. There was no exit. Yet, here she was sat with a man who she barely knew, who she was so attracted to, and she was too scared to run. This was a golden opportunity. She just couldn't see it.

''You know my mom's sister, she kept a bird, a tiny little bird and she caught it one cold morning and just out of pure selfishness she decided to keep this bird. She made it a little cage no bigger than my hand,'' he held up his right hand, ''sure, she fed it, she sang to it, she might have even loved it in her own way, but just two weeks later, she woke up one morning and that bird was dead at the bottom of that cage. Stiff.''

Rose parted her lips. They had gone dry. ''Oh.''

Jack nodded. ''Yeah.'' He moved a piece of hair away from her face. ''Rose, that poor bird wasn't hungry, it wasn't cold, it wasn't thirsty – it was trapped. It had no other birds there, it couldn't fly, it was restrained to this small, stupid cage. That bird was lonely and it needed to be out there, living in the wild with the others, like It's supposed to be.''

Rose searched his face for any idea of what this story was in reference to and then it hit her. Like a huge gust of wind knocking her from her feet. Like a slap to the face. ''I am that bird.''

Jack nodded, slowly. ''You're the bird.''

Tears came to her eyes, then slowly they fell down her cheek. She hid her face quickly as doses of reality were hitting her hard. This was the suppression which she felt.

''How am I supposed to live like this? Yet how can I leave?'' She sobbed. Jack tried to take her hands from her face but she wouldn't allow it.

''Rose, your mother is a grown woman who cannot expect her young daughter to live the rest of her life in misery, in a loveless and abusive marriage just for her own benefit.''

''My mother does expect such a thing.'' Rose sighed. ''Mother expects me to take the burden because she is in mourning state after my father died so she will not re marry. Cal offered to pay off the debts, perhaps, he already has and then of course, it is expected of me to marry a man of my class.''

Jack laughed, pitifully. ''Class. Society dictates everything.''

In his pocket, he found a handkerchief and he handed it to her. She took It silently and dabbed at her face. ''I'm sorry, I am such an utter fool at times.'' She tried to play down her outburst. ''I am just- well I suppose I drank too much wine this evening at dinner and now-'' She caught him looking at her, as she rambled. Her face was almost dry and her makeup had been removed but she was lovelier than ever. ''What?''

Jack smiled, and her stomach fluttered. She scanned his face for something. ''Don't do that.''

''Do what?''

''Don't hide that from me. I know you.''

Jack was taken aback by his words. The way he spoke them and just how much she trusted him, how he made her feel and that stupid urge which she had to constantly fight just to not kiss him and be held by him. But it was the truth, no matter how little length of time they had known each other, he did know her. Well, better than anyone else who she had ever known and that was freeing and scary all at once.

Rose pressed her lips together. ''But It's not up to you to save me, Jack.''

Jack nodded as he sighed. ''No, you're right. Only you can do that.''

The air turned a little awkward as silence hit. She was sure that he could hear her racing heart. She needed to shake herself. Here was the one man who she wanted so badly, he wanted her and he was offering her a way out and yet her own fear was keeping her rooted firmly to the spot. They had kissed, she had opened up to him in a way she never thought way possible. The level of intimacy between them was what she had never thought would exist. But it was all a dream. She knew it was.

''Do I need saving?''

''No. I think you just need to see that you have choices.''

''I am a woman. I have limited choices and when I do have them, they're relatively uneasy.'' Rose recalled her mother telling her the same; they did agree on one thing.

''You have two choices. Stay with Cal, marry him and grow to be miserable and resentful of everything and everyone or—there is me.''

Rose's heart quickened but then it sank. Yes, there was jack. Jack who had been with another woman. Who had confessed as much, regardless of whether or not he said that he under the influence and had been thinking of Rose. It didn't matter. It hurt. It pinched at her.

''Perhaps you should take me home.''

Jack nodded. He said nothing as he started the engine up and then turned the car around to head back the way they had come. She felt the air around them, it was buzzing with unspoken words, with such spark that it felt like an electric current constantly there. Her eyes went on his pants, his jeans, the black smart shirt and then how his hair must have been gelled back at one point in the day but it was now falling into his eyes. As he watched the road she noticed he had that daydream look in his eyes as he always did. She wondered what he thought of when he was driving with her in the car, or how he saw her through those eyes.

Her eyes fell onto the road and how dark it was, just enough light from the headlights provided a glow on the road a foot or so in front of them. She realised just how clammy her hands were. He made her nervous. Every so often she noticed he watched her just as she had him. His eyes had fallen on her face, on her lap and then back on the road, sometimes he would linger on her face a little longer but she didn't look back, she daren't, for she knew that she would be lost. His eyes spoke such truth and it was something which she wasn't ready to face. She had already fallen under their spell and this was where she would get out, before she fell even harder.

Rose noticed that when she was with Jack, the whole world around them seemed to be black and white, compared to their world which was in screaming colour. It was like watching an old silent movie compared with the new colours. She flicked her eyes closed for a little while, perhaps that would stop her racing mind.

''Here you are.''

Rose eyes opened as she realised that she was home. Her bedroom light was the only light on in the entire house. She hesitated, leaving the car would be hard. Leaving Jack would be hard but this was it; it had to be, didn't it?

''Right.''

Jack ran his fingers through his hair. ''This isn't goodbye, Rose. You know I won't let it.''

A smile crept across her face. She knew that she should have left the car and told him to leave. She was engaged to be married.

''You never give up, do you?''

''Not on us.''

Her smile faded.

''Not on you.''

Her watering eyes searched his face and in that moment she knew that she felt something so much stronger than she thought for him. She couldn't let him go. She just couldn't. This time it was her who kissed him, ever so gently at first. She had never made such a move before in her life. He wasn't going to offer any hesitation then neither was she. He grabbed her hand and tightly threaded his fingers through hers. She pulled away from him for a moment. He could feel her heart pounding in her ears, her breathing still ragged. She licked her lips, she could taste him and felt the urge to go back for more. He took her head by holding the back of her neck and their lips were joined again, this time It wasn't as gentle, it was something which she had never discovered before, not even when Cal had pathetically attempted to lure her into bed. This was fiery, passionate and it made everything about her seem to come alive.

Jack slowed it down knowing just what might happen if they continued and he knew that they could be seen even though it was late. He was breathless, robbed of every ounce of strength and yet he needed to go back for more. He stroked his thumb over her lips, they were swollen. He longed to kiss more again but he stopped himself, pulling back into his own seat. She felt cold, as though the sun had set.

''What's wrong?''

Jack smiled. ''Nothing, I just-I can't,'' he sighed, he couldn't explain how he felt, ''I just couldn't stop.''

Rose giggled, glad to hear something pleasant. ''I have never done that before.'' She was almost shy. He reached his hand over to stroke her face, he tilted his head.

''That's why I had to stop.''

She grasped his hand tightly. ''Don't let me go.'' She repeated the words she had at the beach after they had first kissed. The girl had emerged again. The one who was vulnerable, shy and maybe even naïve to the world but he loved her, he knew he did.

''I never will.''

The icy exterior had been removed and he hoped to never have to chip away that guard again.

''Come for me, tomorrow night.'' She told him. ''Park your car away from here, make sure the coast is clear and then climb up to my window. I have something to show you.''

Nerves bubbled in the pit of his stomach. ''All right. Midnight, I will be here.''

''Thank you.''

Rose opened the car door and swung her legs out. As soon as she had gone from the car it was like the sun had set. He watched as she skipped over the road. This was his comedown from Heaven and until he came back tomorrow night he wasn't going to settle.