Chapter 16:

Shopping that next afternoon had proved to be one of the longest trips Rose had taken, even with her mother. Every boutique, every shoe shop, every stupid person who stopped to comment on Rose's 'glow', how well she looked and then they would admire the ring. It was like an endless parade or a part in a pathetic play in which she played the beautiful, blushing bride and would soon have to find another part to play before she was utterly bored to tears with it. When she had told Jack that she had no skills, perhaps she had been wrong, acting was amongst the better set of skills which she did have, for using them every day had perfected them beyond razor sharp.

Rose had retired to 'bed' and waited for her mother to go just a little while after. Cal had telephoned just after Rose had gone upstairs and she had advised the maid to ensure that she was not to be disturbed. He was the last person she wished to speak to at this moment and so ignoring his late call was actually easier than she had imagined it would have been.

Now, she sat at her vanity sipping a glass of wine and watching her reflection. It was different to the one which she had seen the night before. Her mother's friends were right; she did seem to glow, even just a little more. She had eaten most of her meals that day and she felt fuller, better. The wine in her hand was for her enjoyment and not sorrow drowning at all.

She had bathed, removed her makeup and left her hair down naturally hanging around her shoulders. She wore a day dress, a neutral pink colour and her bare feet rubbed against the carpet. She took another sip of wine before glancing at the clock. Ten to midnight.

Her newfound confidence was shining through. The way that just one evening speaking to Jack had caused her to feel as though she could do anything had changed so much. The course of her life felt smoother yet beyond that right moment she couldn't think. What was it Jack had once said? That you have to live in that moment. She smiled, warmth filling her. Was this going to be her moment going forward?

A faint tap on the balcony door startled her. She placed her glass of wine back onto the vanity unit before proceeding to the door. She could see Jack's shape through the glass as she grew closer to him, her stomach fluttered and her body seemed to tingle. A risk like this was frightening and yet so inviting. Her hands settled on the door handles for just a second, their eyes meeting through the glass. She felt the intensity already. He was in her world now. That was the most frightening part above all the rest. She pulled the door open allowing him access to her home, her bedroom and everything else about her.

''Good morning.'' Jack whispered, as his lips curved into a grin. She stepped outside into the warm night air. Glancing down, she saw that his car wasn't park on the road as she had requested. She was about to ask where but she could it didn't matter. Not right now.

''Hello.''

''That was quite a climb.'' He laughed, breathless, ''I do hope your neighbours didn't see me and report me as a robber.''

''I'm sorry.''

''It was worth it,'' he told her quietly, ''for you.''

Rose found his hand and he linked their fingers as though they were lovers, walking down the street without an utter care in the world.

''You know this is quite a view up here.''

Rose followed his gaze, his neck craned round. Once they saw past the houses and beyond the chimney tops, the sky was so clear. Like a dark, blank canvas covered in glittering stars.

''I never noticed before. It is so vast and endless.'' She became lost in the sky. The endless world above her which she had failed to notice for so long. His gaze fell on Rose, in the dim light of the moon she was bathed in a lovely glow.

''The view is better down at the Ferris wheel. I will take you back down there tomorrow, if you like.''

Rose smiled, recalling how spirited she felt out there. ''I would like that.'' She turned her attention back to the sky. ''I often wonder what it is like to go up there on an aeroplane. To see everything so closely.''

''You have never flown?''

Rose shook her head as she rested her weight against the wall of the balcony. ''Perhaps, one day I shall.''

Jack was about to speak when he noticed a figure walking past a house at the top end of the street. It was coming towards the house, or at least down towards the crescent of the street in the house's direction.

''Let's go inside.'' He told her quietly as she followed his gaze.

The person wouldn't be visiting her house so late but then she naively realised that Cal may have spies out anywhere. She nodded as she led him inside the balcony doors and promptly closed them before locking them. Quickly, she turned off the main light and lit a smaller lamp.

Jack stopped just inside her bedroom. He glanced around. The room was beautiful, opulent and in his very muddy boots he felt very out of place. He began to unlace his shoes before he heard her giggle.

''Just what are you doing?''

Jack continued to unlace them until he pulled one off. ''This is like something out of a movie. This whole space.''

Rose looked about her room. It was a dusky pink in colour. That wasn't her choice. A four-poster bed sat in the middle, with two side cabinets one with a lamp and the other littered with books. The wardrobe and vanity unit sat side by side next to the balcony. The furniture was 'Victorian, with a modern twist' or so her mother had noted when she had chosen the décor.

''It's just a room.'' She smiled. ''It is just a bedroom.''

''To you yes, to me, it feels like a whole house.''

Jack removed his other boot, throwing it next to the other as he stepped onto the thick plush carpet feeling it beneath his socked feet. ''This carpet is better than my bed.''

''Stop it.''

Jack shook his head as he removed his outer shirt, revealing a buttoned t-shirt. She couldn't remember a time she had seen his bare arms and in the dim light, she saw just how muscular they were. He hung his shirt over her chair.

Suddenly, they were silent. Rose went to the bed and sat on the edge, very nervously. This was her own room and yet she surprisingly felt as though she had never been here in her life. Jack came to sit beside her slowly.

Their fingers were just an inch away from the others. She glanced around the room. She had never been alone in a bedroom with any man before. She couldn't help but want to know what he was also thinking.

''It is wonderfully cosy.'' She whispered. ''Sometimes in the winter.''

Jack glanced around. He had always found peace in his own bedroom at night. ''I burn my mother's candle for a while before I sleep each night. It makes me feel closer to her. Pa used to hate the smell of them but ma loved vanilla candles.''

Rose placed her hand on top of his. Perhaps it was her turn to comfort him. ''Were they ever unhappy together?''

Jack shook his head. ''Not that I recall. They had silly rows; over breakfast, or who would be the one to clear the pig pen or even over parenting me but, they never went to bed on an argument and always held each other's hand. Granny and grandpa thought it was revolting; always making fun and talking trash about it but they loved each other, they really did.''

''I longed for my mother and father to have what yours did.'' She whispered. ''Not that I will have that for myself.'' Jack glanced down at the floor.

Jack turned to face Rose. ''Do you think you will marry?'' He wasn't asking about Cal, he was asking her, to marry who she wanted and she seemed to know that just from his tone of voice. From the depth of his gaze. This was almost make believe.

Rose bit her lip avoiding his gaze. ''Yes.'' She hesitated. ''I always wanted to marry the boy who makes my heart flutter every day. I want to have his children, to continue to love until my heart gives out. What about you, Jack?''

Jack sat back on the bed. He needed some distance between them. He swore she could hear his heart pounding so fast. He rested against the wall. ''Someday, I will have that. I hope to have children, to love them and raise them with the same amount of love that my own folks did. I want to love my wife, to respect her and be in awe of her even after fifty years.''

Rose laughed and then it went into a longing smile. He could sense the nerves. She began to curl the ends of her hair around her fingers. Not one of them thought of Cal in that moment. It wasn't about him. Her engagement ring had been removed and Jack had noticed this as soon as he had held onto her hand outside on the balcony. He wished to query it but thought better, right now, was all that mattered and no amount of questioning would ruin that.

''Thank you for inviting me in here. I hope I'm not in your way.''

''You're not.'' Rose found her eyes in the dim light. ''Truth be told, I don't want you to leave.''

Rose's whole body shivered as though a tender finger had been run down her spine. Jack went to get his shirt from the chair. He leant to place it around her shoulders. As he leant back, he pulled her with him so that she leant against his body. She hesitantly placed a hand over his stomach feeling just how tight it was.

She was shaking, he could feel that much against him.

''I won't go until you ask me to.''

Jack kissed her head as she leant on his shoulder. She could smell his scent; she closed her eyes having never felt so peaceful or in a place where she belonged more. Jack didn't close his eyes; he was too afraid to sleep and wasting the moment of been close to her. He stroked her hair and her eyes opened as she ignored the drowsy and safe feeling which came from laying down with him.

''I want to take you away from all of this. I never want you to deal with the pain you do every day with your mother or with Cal.''

Rose lifted herself up from his shoulder and her hair fell into her eyes. He could see the tears still shining. He moved strands from her face and tucked them behind her ear. ''I want that, too.''

''You know my mother's parents were against my father at first. They thought he was after one thing. He was a little older, a wise ass and he worked so hard to prove them wrong.''

''Would you do that for a girl?'' Rose swallowed nervously.

''I'd do anything for a girl I loved. But only for them. If it made them happy then so be it.''

''My mother is far too difficult to impress.'' Rose sighed. She sat upright, snuggling Jack's shirt against her cheeks. He watched her, he longed to hold her and not let go.

He fought with himself, the feelings which he had tried to push away for so long and yet now they were so strong. He admired everything about her, the strength and her fire and how passionate she was.

''Jack, tell me about Cara.'' Rose urged him, out of nowhere. He saw the vulnerability on her face. It wasn't a question; it was a request.

The sight of them both had hurt Rose, more than she had thought it would. The impact had been painful.

Jack bit the inside of his lip. He knew that he needed to be honest. He crossed his legs as he sat opposite Rose on her bed and tried to think of a way to be as honest as possible.

''I missed you. I had thought of nothing but you. Drinking was the only way out of the never-ending circle of wanting you.'' He sighed, seeing Rose's interest. ''I fell asleep in the ballroom and Tommy took me back to the car. But then somebody woke me, she kissed me and then she drove me home. She somehow put me into bed.''

Rose glanced down at her hands. She slid the shirt from around her shoulders. She was suddenly warm and didn't know why. ''Did you make love?''

Jack felt his jaw tighten. ''Yes, I believe so.''

Rose nodded as she pulled back. She stood next to the bed. She tried so hard to get her head around things. It was one thing to detest him, but she didn't. There was a pull towards him now, more than before. There was a part that couldn't find it in her to believe that he had taken another woman to bed with him even though he had plainly expressed that he had.

''I understand, if you want me to leave. To not speak to you again.'' Jack stood next to her. He wasn't going to touch her in anyway, even though he wanted to, so badly. ''I understand if you never want to see me again, but just please, let me help you away from Cal, from this world. You don't belong here. I saw just how much you blossomed away from all of this shit and now you are not that girl anymore.''

Rose felt the tears come to her eyes. Here he was again, offering her everything which she had ever wanted and more importantly now needed. ''Why did you talk to me, Jack? That day in the Grill. Why didn't you just leave me to read that book?''

Jack parted his lips. ''Because you intrigued me. Compared to Cara, those other dumb and stupid girls, you were so different. That is the reason I stay away from this shit. I just felt like I had to know you, to figure you out.''

''And now that you know me?''

Jack felt the words leave his mouth before he had fully thought it through. Fully even realised it himself.

''I think I am in love with you, Rose.''