As Byleth climbed the stairs to the Goddess Tower for the third time in her life, she felt oddly weightless.
Now that the war had finally come to an end, it seemed like everything was changing all at once. There were treaties to sign, countries to rebuild, and armies to disband. The Golden Deer were all preparing to return to their respective homelands, leaving Byleth unsure of where she was supposed to be.
Garreg Mach was the only home she'd ever known, and as Rhea's appointed successor, she'd probably be expected to stay here. But would it still be home to her without her beloved students?
She didn't know, and she wasn't sure she was ready to learn the answer. The mere thought of everyone else leaving her behind made her feel an ache in the hollow of her chest, where other people had beating hearts.
Perhaps she could go to Derdriu with Claude, when he took his place as the leader of the unified Fódlan. She had no idea if anyone would approve of that, though, and no idea how she'd be able to help him now that the war was over. Despite everything, she was still just a mercenary. Without enemies to fight, she couldn't contribute much.
But the only person whose approval she really needed was Claude's. She knew he could convince everyone else, if she needed him to. Claude had a way of winning anyone over, with a smile here and a witty remark there. Byleth had a feeling he could even convince people the sky was green if he really wanted to.
She was usually the one on the other end of his persuasive charm. He'd tell her that she was like a miracle, that he felt like all his dreams were within reach because he had her on his side. And then he'd ask her for something, and she'd move the whole universe to make it happen, because he thought so highly of her, and she never ever wanted to let him down.
But as exhausting as that could be sometimes, it was all worth it for the moments when they weren't Duke Reigan and the Ashen Demon at the head of their army, but just Claude and Byleth.
There had been times when neither of them could sleep at night, and they stayed up together talking. Byleth had mentioned once in passing that she never dreamed when she was asleep, except of Sothis's memories, and after that Claude would tell her all the weird scenarios his subconscious mind invented, just to make her laugh.
She'd be happy, she thought, if she could have little moments like that forever. She could let the others go live their own lives, as long as Claude was still with her.
He'd always been special to her, ever since the first time they'd met. She remembered it clearly; Claude had smiled at her—a smile that hadn't reached his eyes, according to Sothis—and she'd wanted to know why.
She'd never wanted anything before. And yet, just like that, she had started to feel everything.
Discovering emotion in that way had been like suddenly seeing the world in color for the first time. She hadn't known what any of it had meant. What was the feeling like being in a ray of sunlight whenever one of her students tried to joke with her? What was the tingle in her stomach when she led them into battle? What was the flutter in her chest when she looked into Claude's eyes?
As the teacher for the Golden Deer house, she'd slowly learned. The feeling like sunlight was happiness. The tingling sensation in her stomach was unease. The flutter in her chest was affection.
She knew now that the reason she'd started to feel things so suddenly was because Sothis had awakened within her. But even now, it was hard to shake the notion that it had something to do with Claude. There had been so many moments when she'd struggled to put a name to a feeling, and then, when she was with him, all the pieces had suddenly seemed to fit together.
You're smiling, he'd say, and she'd touch her own face and realize that he was right. That would make him laugh and tease her for not knowing what face she was making. She'd feel her cheeks get warm, then, and he'd say, Now you're blushing.
Deep down, she felt as if he was the one who had taught her to feel. He had taken this heartless demon and made her as human as she'd ever be.
Could I really bear to be without him? she wondered. If I couldn't see his smile or hear his laugh anymore, would I lose my emotions too?
But now wasn't the time for such thoughts. There was much to do, and she couldn't afford to be distracted.
Amidst all the uncertainty, returning to the Goddess Tower felt a bit like taking a step back several months in time, to when things had been simpler and the only thing that had mattered had been finding her students and keeping them safe. But perhaps that wasn't the most fitting comparison; Byleth had actually gone back in time before, and it was nothing like this.
When she used her divine pulse, things always unfolded in exactly the same way they had the first time. But now, she was aware of every little difference, even as she could hear the echo of the steps she'd taken before. This ascent up the tower was framed by warm afternoon sunlight, while the previous one had been marked by the chill just before dawn, and the first by the glitter of winter stars overhead.
Still, she couldn't deny the sense of deja vu she felt when she reached the top of the tower and found Claude waiting for her there.
He greeted her with an easy smile. His smiles were always easy, and almost always calculated. But this one lit up his eyes, so Byleth knew that he was genuinely pleased to see her. "Hello, my friend. Sorry for calling you out here like this. I wanted to talk, just the two of us."
Just the two of us. Something inside of Byleth fluttered at the sound of those words. It was at moments like these when she thought that maybe she did have a heart after all.
"First of all," Claude said, "I wanted to say thank you for all your hard work. It seems like our long struggle may finally be coming to an end."
Byleth hummed in acknowledgement, knowing that this only scratched the surface of what was on his mind. "Do you think it's really the end?"
"The way forward will certainly be rough," he acknowledged. "Right now, Fódlan is like a newborn. Frail and easily upset. If we don't create a new ruling system soon, the Empire and Kingdom will descend into chaos."
A familiar look crossed his face—the expression he always wore when he was talking about the grand future he dreamed of. Oh, how Byleth loved that face. She thought she'd probably do anything he suggested while he was wearing that expression, just to keep that spark of delight in his eyes. And maybe, when all was said and done, he'd look at her like that—like she was everything he'd ever dreamed of.
"The coronation ceremony is the first step," he went on. "Only then will Fódlan truly be a single, united land. I'm sorry that I won't be by your side at such an important event, but I'm certain you'll do great."
She blinked, feeling as if she had suddenly missed a step—which wasn't uncommon for her in social situations. "You won't be there?"
That didn't make any sense. How could he be absent from his own coronation?
"I must return to my homeland," he told her, gently. Carefully. Searching her eyes for the clues he needed to guarantee this conversation turned out the way he wanted it to. "As for ruling this new, unified land... Well, I'll leave that to you."
Byleth said nothing.
"The Fódlan blood that flows in my veins... I've made use of it as best I could," Claude explained. "Now I've got to use my other bloodline to change my homeland for the better. I have royal connections there too, insignificant as they may be. It's time for me to struggle all over again and see what good I can do." He shook his head. "If I don't change things in both Fódlan and the lands beyond, I'll never set eyes on the kind of world I've dreamed of creating."
Byleth felt as if she was going numb. Distantly, she understood what he was saying, knew that he was going to leave her and that he had a good reason to. But the only thing she could say was, "I can't be a ruler."
"You're the successor Rhea appointed, aren't you?" he replied lightly. "And now you're also the hero who saved Fódlan. All those weak people who have nothing to cling to but their goddess... They'll rely on you just like they used to rely on Rhea. You'll be a leader all who are struggling to survive in war-torn lands can look up to. And I… I want a ruler who can lay down a new set of values for the people. Values that don't exclude anyone for being different. I know it's a lot to ask. But you're the only one who can do it."
His expression was hopeful now, so open and trusting the way it never was. How could she possibly say no?
She'd promised herself a long time ago that she'd do anything in her power to make his dreams come true. She'd lead him wherever he wanted to go, and cut through any obstacles in his way. But now he was telling her that he was going far away, and he wanted to put her in the one position that would prevent her from ever being able to go with him.
Her fingers curled into fists. He had it all thought out so well. Perhaps this had been his plan all along—to find someone he trusted, and put them in charge of Fódlan while he worked to change things from the other side. It made sense. It was a solid plan.
Byleth just hated that she'd assumed they could always be together.
Before their battle against Nemesis, she'd stood in front of her parents' grave, remembering how, five years ago, Jeralt had given her Sitri's ring. He'd told her to give it to someone she loved as much as he'd loved her mother. Byleth still wasn't sure she really knew what love was, but when she tried to imagine it, the only person she could think of was Claude.
Claude, who had told her he'd always be on her side. Claude, who knew she had been born without a heart, and yet didn't think any differently of her. Claude, who believed in her more than anyone, who looked at her as if she could do anything. Claude, who had such a beautiful face and an even more beautiful mind.
There, in front of the grave, she'd decided to give her ring to him, because she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
But she knew his dream was more important to him than anything. That if she really loved him, she should do what he was asking of her now. That seeing his dream come true would make him happier than being with her in a world that was still divided.
Shoving away the pain, she nodded. She forced her face back into the neutral expression that had earned her the title of Ashen Demon.
I'll do it, she thought, although she couldn't quite bring the words to her lips. I'd do anything for you.
He smiled again, and it was dazzling. "Thank you, my friend. I knew I could count on you."
For a moment, Byleth simply looked at him, drinking in the sight of his lovely green eyes. His brilliant grin, the white of his teeth contrasting with his deep tan skin. The single strand of hair that was always falling down into his face. This might be the last time she'd ever see him smile like this, she realized, and the thought hurt more than any wound she'd ever suffered.
Some hint of what she was thinking must have leaked into her expression—or else Claude could read her even through the mask—because the smile slid off his face, replaced with a look of concern. "Hey... what's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said, keeping her voice even. In her relatively short life so far, she'd survived countless battles, and twice as many injuries. She'd survived falling off a cliff and into a coma for five years. Emotional pain, no matter how severe, would not kill her. "It's just... I'll miss you."
He studied her face. In his eyes, she thought she saw a glint of something like uncertainty. But Claude always covered up his uncertainty with a fake smile or a confident quip. She'd never seen him look like this before.
"I have something else to ask," he said slowly. His fingers curled tightly around something in his hand (hadn't it been empty a moment ago?), and then relaxed as he held it out to her. "Please... I hope you'll accept this."
Byleth looked down, and saw that he was holding out a ring. Something in her chest leapt against her ribcage, as if trying to escape.
Her eyes flew back to his face.
His expression was still uncertain, but at the same time so earnest. "When I first saw you wield the Sword of the Creator, I wanted to use your power to my advantage. I wanted to use you to make my dream of a new world come true. But before long, I realized what I really wanted was to see that new world... with you by my side."
But I won't be by your side, she thought, mind whirling. You'll be a whole world away from me.
"I still feel that way, you know," he said, very softly. "I always will. That's why I have to leave. But nothing will stop me from coming back. There's no way I'm gonna let you go. You know that, don't you?"
The answer must have shown on her face, because his expression shifted into an apologetic one. He lifted one hand to rub awkwardly at the back of his neck. "Sorry, my friend. I thought you knew how I felt."
"I'm not sure I really know anything about feelings," she replied. Because she still wasn't sure she understood.
What did this ring really mean? Was it like the one she'd been planning to give to him—the one that meant she simply wanted to be with him forever? Or was it suggesting something else—all the other things most people associated with marriage?
Byleth didn't know how Claude felt, and was somehow even less sure of how she felt. All she knew was that he was special to her. That she wanted to stay by his side forever, and that she sometimes wanted there to be no space between them at all. That she wanted him to smile at her in a way he never smiled at anyone else. That she wanted him to trust her with all his secrets and never be afraid again.
Was that romantic love? She thought so, but she might not ever know how other people defined it.
"Hey." Claude reached out and gently touched her cheek. "Don't say that. You know more than you think."
His hand was warm, and she felt her eyes flutter shut as she leaned into it. He was right. No matter what this ring might actually mean, she knew what she wanted. "Yes."
"Yes...?" he asked carefully.
She opened her eyes and gazed into his. "Yes, I'll accept your ring."
His lips quirked up at the edges, and then flattened out. Like he couldn't quite believe it yet. "You'll marry me?"
"I'll marry you."
His smile turned radiant again. He slid the ring carefully onto her finger and then pulled her into his arms.
Byleth felt a twist of shock at the sudden physical contact, but after a moment, her body relaxed. Claude's arms were warm, and he smelled like Almyran pine needles, and this was exactly where she wanted to be.
"Thank you..." he murmured, close to her ear. "For everything."
"You need to work on your delivery," she mumbled back, burying her face in his shoulder. "I thought you were going to leave me forever."
His hold on her tightened. "No, never. I'll be back before you know it. We'll only be apart for a short while."
"Hmm." She ran her fingertips along the nape of his neck, tracing whorls of dark hair, and felt Claude shiver at her touch. Were her fingers cold?
"The sooner I leave, the sooner I'll be back by your side," he said, although he made no move to extract himself from their embrace.
"Stay just a bit longer," she said, and he hummed in agreement.
Byleth had never been held like this before. She'd never felt another person's warmth all around her. The closest thing she could remember was when, at the Ethereal Moon ball, Claude had pulled her in to dance. He'd held her hand with one of his and used the other to hold her close.
Yes. This felt like dancing.
But even when they'd danced, she hadn't been pressed up against him like this, their whole bodies touching. Now, they were so close she could feel his heartbeat through his skin. Her own heart couldn't answer, but she felt a faint stirring deep in her chest, as if it were trying to somehow.
She didn't know how to put that feeling into words. It was like language had slipped through her fingertips, leaving only emotion so overwhelming that she couldn't make a sound. All she could do was hold him tighter, her fingers bunching the soft golden fabric of his cloak.
But she couldn't keep him here any longer. The last thing she wanted was to hold him back.
With effort, she forced herself to let go. She took a step back, and then another. Already missing his warm embrace, she wrapped her arms around herself instead.
Claude gave her one last smile. This one was bittersweet, though it seemed more sweet than bitter.
"And now," he told her, "I'm off to cross Fódlan's Throat. The next time we see each other... it will be at the dawn of a whole new world. A peaceful, happy world."
If those words had come from anyone else, she would have thought of them as empty reassurances. But this was Claude, and he'd always had a way of making the impossible sound easy.
And so, even as she watched the form of his wyvern disappear over the horizon, she was filled with hope.