Author's Note: Last regular chapter before the epilogue, y'all! Apologies for the extreme delay in updates, but I'm finally done with grad school! The whole last semester I felt like that meme of Kelly Kapoor (from the Office) looking exhausted but now I'm free and done and slowly trying to get back into writing. I'm hoping to get the epilogue up in the next few weeks, I have it mostly planned out so all that's left is actually typing it all up. If there are any outstanding questions you felt haven't answered or anything else you'd like me to address about the story, let me know—I may incorporate them into the epilogue or at least answer them in the final author's note. Thank you all for your patience, your encouraging reviews, and for taking the time to read my little plot bunny that just wouldn't leave me alone.
Eric Coulter
Indie is stiff as a board as she settles into the chair across from Stanley. He watches her every motion intently, like he thinks she might disappear if he looks away for even a moment. His expression is of complete awe as he looks her over, like he cannot shake the image of the little Amity girl. I watch with a tentative smile, hoping that this hadn't been a mistake to encourage her to come see him.
"I was so afraid that awful boy, that he'd actually—" He cuts himself off, taking in a shaky breath as he recovers himself. "I'm just so relieved to see that you're recovering." His hands shake atop the table and Indie slides her own over them, curling his fingers up in hers with a gentle smile. They sit silent for a few beats before she extracts a hand and begins to write on her board. The angle is just so that I can read her side of the conversation.
He got lucky, but not lucky enough. She gives him a moment to read the message before she erases it, carrying on. When I was in surgery, I saw my father. Maybe he was an illusion, maybe it was real, but I swear I saw him.
"I miss your father every day." He whispers with grief and anguish palpable in every syllable. I find myself overwhelmed and furious by the depth of destruction Jeanine has levied upon us all. "I'm so ashamed of myself, if I could go back in time—"
Stop. He complies, allowing her to write out a response. You did the best you could, with the information you had at the time. If you had known, I believe you would have done differently.
"I absolutely would have." He declares, tone shifting fiercely. "I want to see her dead for this. After all she's done…"
There's no way she survives this, after everything. Indie confirms, hesitating before she continues to write more. I wish things were different. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. I wish we sought one another out and not because you're on trial.
"I wish I had been more suspicious, questioned more…I'm sorry I let you down. All of you." Indie closes her eyes, taking deep breaths before she opens them and writes out her next piece.
When I saw him, she starts to write then pauses, hesitating. I don't know if it was a dream or a hallucination, but it felt so real.
"Maybe it was real." He shrugs, no trace of the judgement or mockery Indie expected in his expression. "After everything we've learned about what was really happening, nothing feels impossible anymore."
He said it wouldn't be fair for me to be angry with you yet forgive Eric. She gives him a moment to read and absorb before continuing her thoughts. He was right. I understand now why you did what you did. I'm grateful that you've been cooperating with Jack and all the other leaders. I don't know what happens next, but I forgive you.
"I don't deserve it." He chokes out, eyes shimmering. Indie answers with a scratchy chuckle and a teary-eyed expression of her own.
Maybe not, but I do anyway.
"I miss him so much." Indie nods in agreement, valiantly blinking away her tears before giving up and letting them out.
They break down together, sharing in their grief and sorrow in a moment that's probably long overdue for the both of them. As I watch them hold hands and finally stop fighting to hold back tears, finally grieving together and letting go of the past, I realize that Indie is right. I've done all I could to honor my sister and fight for justice on her behalf. Now that the world knew the truth and her story, her memory is safe and I can finally let go.
It's time to move on.
Indie Jagger
Eric sits in the back of the Erudite car with me, bouncing his leg like he's been possessed by a jackrabbit, as we make our way back to the compound. His expression is pinched, eyebrows furrowed, and I want to smooth out the crease in his forehead but I'm too exhausted to lift a hand. Instead, I watch him watch the city pass by until he notices my attention and raises a brow in my direction.
You look nervous. I tell him, a flash of irritation shining in his eyes at being called out, but it fades away as he catches my expression. I'm sure I look like I've been crying, and I know there is nothing that disarms Eric quicker than tears—especially mine. He sighs, taking my hand in his as he rubs his thumb across the back and looks back out the window.
"Everyone has been very…polite since we arrested Max and Harrison. But after this morning…I can only imagine what they'll think of me. Now that it's all out there…"
They'll think how grateful they are to be alive and not mindless soldiers who just murdered a whole faction of innocent people.
"Only because I fell in love." He snorts and I lightly smack his arm, chastising, before I wrote out more.
I don't think they'll be too concerned with the reason why, just that they aren't murderers. You saved them and no matter what anyone says, you know deep down that you did everything you could to make up for everything you did wrong. That's what matters.
"You have that little speech prepared?" He smiles, softer, and I smirk.
I had it printed up on cards I could hand out to anyone who wanted to be a dick. He laughs, relaxing, and I know I've finally succeeded. He pulls me closer to his side and I rest my head on his shoulder, scribbling out some more wise words for him. Try not to be so nervous, you'll be fine. You did the right thing when it mattered, and that's what makes you a good man.
"I should just keep you at my side all the time to remind me." He proposes and I beam, leaning up to kiss his cheek.
Joke's on you, you're never getting rid of me.
"Wouldn't dream of it."
When we arrive back at the compound, he helps me out of the car and leads us inside. I can sense he's considering just carrying me back to the apartment, and I know I'm right when he looks sheepish as I shoot him a pointed look. It's strangely empty as we walk through the halls, but I brush it off since we're coming back so close to dinner time. We make a silent agreement to avoid the cafeteria for now and just scrounge up something edible from Eric's kitchen. Neither of us are in much of a mood for all the stares we're sure to get.
Only, the universe seems to have a different plan. As we turn to cross through the Pit to get up to the elevator to Eric's apartment, we're both startled to find the place packed wall to wall with people. As soon as the assembled group spots us, a rush of thunderous applause and cheers explode in the room. People rush forward towards Eric and me to shake hands and give thanks. We quickly get swept up in the tide of the crowd which gradually carries us to the center of the room where Four and Tori stand with twin grins.
"What the hell is going on?" Eric barks at them but they only smile in response before forcing Eric up onto the stairs so they can be seen above the crowd of Dauntless. I hang back and startle when Tris and Christina materialize at my side, Uriah and Will joining us moments later. I shoot them questioning looks but they only smile, nodding their heads towards where Four and Tori are calling for quiet.
"Ordinarily, when a Dauntless leader steps down it is because they've become too advanced in age to continue on, and they make their descent into the Chasm." The Dauntless roar in confirmation as I wince at the reminder that suicide is so deeply ingrained in the DNA of this faction. Despite myself, I spare a thought for Al—wherever he may be—and hope he has found peace somewhere. Once the noise dies down, Tori carries on. "But, today, one of our own steps down not due to his age, but due to his own integrity. We know that the last few weeks have been a confusing, challenging time for everyone that probably wasn't helped by the tsunami of new information today at Jeanine's trial." Once again, the crowd erupts in roars but this time they are intermixed with boos and sneers at the mention of the former Erudite leader. "And I know that the idea of losing one more leader that is familiar to you is a source of discomfort for many of us, myself included. But we are a faction that relishes in discomfort and defies fears that try to stop us. We are a faction that places blame of the world's injustices on cowardice, like the cowardice Jeanine displayed when someone thought differently from her. We are a faction that knows peace is hard-won, but that justice is even more important. We are a faction of ordinary acts of bravery, in standing for those who cannot stand for themselves. Eric Coulter may have lost his way for some time, but he was brave enough and loyal enough to our faction to find his way back. Today, we honor him, and we thank him for his service in leadership, for his devotion to attaining justice and peace, and for his determination to stand for those who cannot stand for themselves. Eric, thank you."
All around us, people burst into raucous applause and hoots and hollers as Four and Tori raise Eric's arms. I find myself clapping and silently cheering along with them, surprised to find tears welling in my eyes. Eric's eyes find mine in the crowd and I can see him fighting back his own emotions, truly touched by this sendoff that Tori and Four have put together for him. I send him my most brilliant smile as I give him an encouraging nod, beaming as he calls for quiet so he can make his own speech.
"My fellow Dauntless, I can truly say that I did not anticipate this sort of reception when I came back from the trial today." Most everyone chuckles at this, surely remembering the comical surprise on Eric's face as we stumbled into the Pit. "As Tori said, I am stepping down as your leader. I have chosen to do this because I believe in the future of this faction and that we can do better, and it must start with brand new leaders. I will always be ready and willing to serve my faction, but I look forward to spending it building out our new retraining program. I will be honest, probably a side effect of being at Candor today, that I am ashamed of what I have done. I am truly so sorry for being so blind to what was right in front of me, but I am so grateful that I found someone who was willing to show me the light and friends who were willing to put aside our differences to do what was right. Thank you for being the best faction a guy could choose. Now, I think I speak for everyone when I say it's been a very long day for all of us and you probably didn't come here just to listen to me talk. Somebody get me a beer, let's party!"
A few hours later, the party is still going strong, but Eric and I are both fading fast. We're cuddled up together in the corner on the same stairs he spoke to our faction on earlier, nursing a beer between the two of us and watching everyone have fun. Even though I'm exhausted, I can't wipe the smile off my face as I watch people be carefree and live their lives now that we're no longer under threat of mass murder.
I didn't realize it at the time, but when Eric told me the truth about what he'd been doing and I agreed to help him put a stop to it, I wasn't just fighting for my life and the free will of our faction. I was fighting for us to have moments like these, to be joyful and silly and have fun and just be alive and be happy about it. The greatest tragedy in losing to Jeanine would not have been losing our lives, but in losing all these wonderful little moments that made our lives more than just basic biological events. I vow to myself then and there that I will not keep holding on to the past, that I will relish in this opportunity I've been given to be alive. Not everyone gets to have that, and it would be a disservice to my father and to Eric's sister to not see to it that our lives are treated as the gift that they are.
"What are you grinning at?" Eric murmurs as he takes a swig of the beer, fumbling slightly as he hands over my board and marker.
I'm so glad we get to be alive for this.
"It is a good party, but not sure it's that good." He chuckles and I grin, shaking my head.
It's not the party, it's this moment. This moment where we get to be normal and happy and not have to worry about Jeanine popping up to murder us.
"I think I know what you mean." He smiles, kissing my cheek as he turns back to look at the crowd with me. "I'm so grateful we get to enjoy little moments again."
We sit for a little while longer before we silently agree we're done for the night, standing up from our stoop and heading towards the exit in the stealthiest way possible. We get most of the way out of there before Four slides into our path, smirking as the rest of our friends fill in around him to block our exit.
"Where do you two think you're going?"
"Look, man, I appreciate the party, but it's been a long day and I think we both just need some sleep."
"Celebration isn't over just yet." Tori tells him with a wide grin, exchanging a giddy look with Four before continuing to speak. "We've decided on our first official act as the new leaders of Dauntless."
"That's great!" Eric tells them, genuine, before a flash of confusion fills his face. "But what does that have to do with stopping me from going to bed?"
"We've decided to create a new tradition to celebrate leadership retirements." Four explains, still smirking in a way that makes me simultaneously incredibly nervous and incredibly excited.
"That's great…but what is it?"
"You up for one last adventure?"
The stairs leading up to the roof of the Hub are more strenuous than I remembered from the last time, but that might be due to the lingering effects of having your throat slashed by a sycophantic supremacist. Eric never leaves my side the whole way up, shooting me worried looks every time there was a hitch in my breath or a slight stumble in my step. But I don't give up and we share a wide grin as we finally reach the top of the stairs.
The city is peaceful and quiet, half shrouded in darkness thanks to the electricity mandates, but no less beautiful. Zeke, Uriah, and Bud fiddle with the gear while Tori does a quick head count to make sure every member of our group hasn't fallen behind on the stairs. I lean into Eric as we look out over the city, eyes wandering to Amity as they always do from a great height. I wonder what my mother is doing now, if she and Jax are still happy, what they thought of the trials today. I tell myself that I'll have to be content with never knowing, but deep down I know I will probably never be at peace with cutting myself off from my blood. But, for now, looking out at the sleepy farming faction and knowing they're alive today is enough.
"Alright, listen up!" Zeke calls everyone to attention, holding the gear in his hand and gesticulating wildly with it as he speaks. "Uriah, Bud, and I will head down first to make sure you people don't end up smashing headfirst into the wall. Four will stay up here and handle the gear and join us on the ground once everyone has gone. Under normal circumstances, Eric would go first but, thanks to Indie's close brush with death—"
"Too soon!" Uriah interrupts to call out his objection and I chuckle, even as Zeke shoots us both a look.
"The two of them will ride together once the three of us have gone first. And since this is a celebration, everyone takes a shot before strapping in!"
"Oh, that sounds safe." Eric murmurs in my ear and I grin, quickly scribbling, scared, Coulter?
"Never, Jagger."
We stand wrapped up together as we watch Zeke go first, tipping back what looks like a double shot of tequila before wrapping himself up in the harness. He gives us all a salute, tips an imaginary hat to Eric, and steps off the roof. His whoops and laughter echo through the night sky as he grows smaller and smaller before disappearing entirely from view. Uriah follows suit, dipping low in an exaggerated bow to Eric before spinning around and flying down the cable. Bud keeps it simple and reaches out his hand for a first bump before taking a running leap with a loud yelp.
Tori holds out the double harness expectantly, almost daring one of us to call it off. Eric and I step forward together, fumbling a bit with the slightly more complicated device before we decide we're secured enough for this. To be safe, Tori tugs at a few strategic spots before giving us a salute and telling us we're good to go.
"Before we do this," Eric says, tightening his arm across my waist as he looks at our gathered friends, "I just want to thank you all again for having our backs. I don't think we'll ever be able to repay it, but we'll certainly try."
"That's what friends are for." Four assures him as the rest of our friends nod eagerly in assent. The two share a warm smile before Eric finds my face, smiling kindly.
"You ready for this?" He asks and I nod, ready to follow him anywhere.
We step forward up onto the ledge, taking one last look at our beautiful, sleeping city. I don't know what the future will bring, but I know I'm ready to face it with all these people at my side. Then, with a deep breath, we jump off the roof and sail into the night sky ahead.