CHAPTER SEVEN
"We'll need more napkins, I should put out some more napkins…" Molly muttered to herself.
"Mum, there is literally no more room on the table," Bill said patiently. The old table was groaning under the weight of platters full of enticing food, including several additional sides that Molly had whipped up at the last minute, just to give herself something to do with her hands. After that, she had even dug out extra silverware that she knew they wouldn't need, now she was stuck pacing back and forth across the crowded kitchen, wringing her hands. Victoire was down for her nap, the baby monitor in Bill's pocket reporting no problems, so she couldn't even distract herself from the uncertainty regarding her next grandchild with her current one.
"Oh!" she gasped, taking out her wand, "We should cast a stasis charm so it doesn't get cold."
"Eating it would also accomplish that," Ron grumbled.
Molly glared at him and brandished her wand threateningly. "Oh no you don't! We'll all sit down for dinner once we know that Harry and Ginny won't do something unthinkable. The rest of you won't leave enough for Ginny."
Hermione, who had been chewing her nails, gaped at Ron. "How could you possibly still feel like eating at a time like this?"
"Why….wouldn't I?" asked Ron, genuinely confused. "I'm not the one who's pregnant."
Everyone froze as they heard two sets of footsteps descending the stairs, accompanied by soft, giggling voices. Harry and Ginny entered the kitchen hand-in-hand and beaming, looking like it was no different than any other dinner.
"Well!?" asked Molly sharply.
"Oh yeah, that," Ginny shrugged, "Well, we both agreed that this was terrifying, but also brilliant, so now we're going to get married." She waved her hand casually, and the ring on her finger glinted in the light.
Molly shrieked so loud that several family members clapped their hands over their ears. For the third time that evening, she moved with startling speed to crush Harry and Ginny into a hug.
"Oh, this turned out to be such a happy day after all!" Molly sobbed.
"Seriously, you couldn't just let me get married?" Ron told Ginny, although he was smiling, "Does everything have to be a competition with you?"
Bill and Charlie were quietly nodding in approval, as if they had successfully intimidated Harry into proposing.
As the large family crowded around the couple, the happy sobs and congratulations were cut off by a loud thud behind them. Everyone spun to see an absurdly large binder on the kitchen table, stuffed to bursting and with every page stuck with a coloured tab. Harry wondered that marking every page kind of defeated the purpose of marking pages, but kept that to himself. Beside the binder, Hermione was clapping her hands excitedly.
"Er, what's that?" asked Harry.
"My wedding binder!" Hermione said cheerfully, at the same time Ron groaned, "Ugh, the wedding binder!"
"I keep it shrunk down in my pocket, in case I get an idea I don't want to forget," Hermione explained, glaring at Ron. "But I think there are some things in here that would work better for Harry and Ginny." She heaved the thing open and began flipping through clippings of gowns, dress robes, decorations, and hair styles.
Ginny's eyebrows shot up. "You put all that together in a few weeks? Even for you, that's impossible."
Hermione scoffed. "Please. I started putting this together when I was eleven. There's a million moving parts to a wedding, it's never too early to decide on the details."
"Did you have a groom picked out when you were eleven?" asked Ron dryly.
"I meant the important details," said Hermione dismissively. "Your job is to just stand there, look pretty, and say the correct words."
"Yeah, Ronnie, didn't you get the memo that you're a trophy wife?" asked George.
"Oh, that's an excellent idea, Hermione!" said Molly, wiping her eyes. "We'll have to plan everything quickly, to have the wedding before the baby arrives. But we can worry about that later. Oh, this dinner isn't enough now, we need a cake!"
She began darting about the kitchen, taking out bowls, spoons, and ingredients, and began furiously working at the counter.
"You all sit down and enjoy," she said over her shoulder while opening a bag of flour. "I'm far too excited to sit still and eat anyway."
"Sorry Mum, we can't stay," said Ginny. "Like I said, we're going to get married." She jerked her head towards the fireplace.
She and her fiance turned to walk hand-in-hand out of the kitchen, leaving a circle of shocked faces behind them.
"Oh alright," said Molly cheerfully, "just be back soon so we can — WHAT!?"
She spun around, flinging the flour from the bag in a wide arc that left every member of the family white as a ghost, which in the moment didn't concern her in the slightest.
The whole family moved to follow Harry and Ginny towards the fireplace, all talking over themselves to ask a million questions, but Molly barreled through all of them, pushing them aside until she grabbed her daughter by the wrist and jerked her sharply back, which seemed to do nothing to dampen Ginny's easygoing mood.
"Ginevra Molly Weasley, what on Earth are you saying!?" Molly scolded. "You can't just run off and get married at dinner time!"
"Well, she technically can," mumbled Percy, "it's perfectly legal, they just need a signed—"
"That is NOT the point, Percy!" snapped Molly, "I mean you can't just throw away the best day of your lives!"
"How are we throwing it away?" asked Harry genuinely. "I'm about to marry Ginny, that makes this the best day of my life, by definition."
"But….but the binder…." Hermione muttered weakly, a devastated look on her face. Ron put a sympathetic arm around her shoulder.
"Hermione's right, you need a proper celebration!" Molly pleaded. "You need a ceremony, and guests, and a dress! Ginny dear, you need a dress!" she practically whimpered, "Trust me, you'll remember how Harry looks at you in your wedding dress forever."
Ginny cocked an eyebrow at her mother. "Mum, the kind of dress I like Harry seeing me in, you won't approve of, and I'm pretty sure would cause Aunt Muriel to die on the spot."
"Exactly, that's why you need to do it!" George chimed in. "As much as I hate to speak against reckless impulses, I was kind of planning on pulling out all the stops for your wedding with some new products from the shop. You know Hermione would never let me do that at her wedding."
"It's not just her wedding, it's my wedding too!" said Ron indignantly.
George laughed and patted Ron on the arm. "Sure, Ronniekins, keep telling yourself that."
Percy looked at George suspiciously. "Why not at my wedding? Not that I want that, but that's never stopped you before."
George's chuckles exploded into loud laughter and he doubled over clutching his gut. "Perce, Perce, please. We don't have time to make jokes about the idea of a girl actually marrying you." Percy scowled at him.
"Can we please stay focused!" snapped Molly. "Ronald, talk some sense into your best friend!"
"Can I be Best Man?" asked Ron.
Harry snorted. "Who else would it be?"
"THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!" shouted Molly.
"Don't encourage them, Ron!" Hermione swatted him on the arm.
Ginny pouted. "So does that mean you don't want to be my Maid of Honour?" she asked in a hurt voice.
Hermione stiffened and pursed her lips, knowing full well what Ginny was doing. She nervously looked back and forth between Ginny and Molly.
"Oooh," she whined and finally ran to Ginny and hugged her with tears in her eyes.
"Oh, so I really am the only sane one in this house!" said Molly.
"So we might as well be happy for them," said Arthur. "Come on dear, you have to admit it's a bit romantic, we can throw a big celebration later."
"We're going to get married Mum," Ginny stated plainly. "You can come along if you want, it's up to you."
"But we'd much, much rather you come along," said Harry.
Seeing that she was outvoted, Molly sighed. "Oh alright, let's make lemonade out of this lemon.
The whole family moved to follow Harry and Ginny towards the fireplace, but Ginny suddenly stopped them.
"Oi!" she barked at her three oldest brothers, "What gave you lot the idea that you're invited?"
The three men froze and looked like kicked puppies.
"What….you can't just not invite us!" said Charlie.
"And why not?" asked Ginny defiantly. "All you gits treated me like a child anyway, so I don't see why you would even want me to get married, not to mention how you've been complete wankers to my fiance."
Despite the fact that she was more than a head shorter than the shortest of them, they all cowered before her hard glare and hung their heads in embarrassment.
"We're sorry," they chanted in unison.
She put her hands on her hips. "Do you all solemnly swear to finally butt out of my business?"
They silently nodded their heads.
"Alright, then let's go."
"Wait," said Bill, looking around, "where did my wife go?"
On cue, Fleur burst through the back door, through which she had apparently disappeared in all the fighting.
"Eet iz a crime zat you are robbing ze world of seeing you in a gown, and I doubt zat you will let me take ze time to do your 'air and makeup, but I will not let you get married in nozzing but a t-shirt. I took zis from my wedding dress and slashed it down so eet is less cumbersome."
She swooped down on Ginny and placed a simple, elegant wedding veil on her head. With a wave of her wand, she conjured two rose blossoms and stuck them on either side of the crown, contrasting with the white lace and matching Ginny's hair.
Ginny found that she didn't mind this one bit of pampering, especially when she saw the goofy grin spreading across Harry's face. To Harry, she had never looked more beautiful, and exemplified why he loved her so much: easily pulling off glamorous beauty, but not at the expense of being able to embark on something completely mental with him.
With no more objections, Ginny and Harry threw some floo powder into the fireplace, squeezed into it at the same time because they didn't want to separate, and sent themselves spinning in the direction of the Ministry. They quickly got out of the way as the rest of their huge family spilled out of the green flames, before walking towards the Department of Family Records and Bonding so fast that everyone had to practically jog to keep up.
It was the late afternoon on the weekend, so what little staff was left in the Ministry were quickly flooding towards the fireplaces to get home, meaning the crowd of Weasleys had to swim upstream, dodging and nearly crashing into confused workers and causing many turned heads as people were making sure they really were seeing Ginny Weasley in a wedding veil.
"Oh, well, this is just a waking nightmare….of happiness!" Molly grimaced and wrung her hands at all the chaos.
When they arrived at the appropriate office, the receptionist, an ancient-looking woman, was packing up her bag and putting on her shawl with a grumpy frown on her face, and glowered venomously at the mob approaching her, clearly not impressed at all by the Boy Who Lived interrupting the end of her work day.
"Excuse me ma'am," said Harry politely. "We need a marriage license, please?"
The lady closed her eyes and sighed. "What's the date of the wedding?"
"Today, right now," Harry answered proudly.
"Yeah, we were thinking about it for a while," Ginny began, "but today we just thought—"
"I don't care," said the old lady, already rummaging in a drawer for the correct paperwork.
She leaned back over her shoulder. "CARL!" she called towards one of the offices, "We've got a Bonding for you!"
A middle-aged balding man in a discount dress robe stuck his head out, looking bewildered, which turned to outright shock when he saw Harry standing hand-in-hand with his famous girlfriend.
"Er…" Carl began uneasily, "Alright, but I really feel like I should perform some tests to make sure neither of you are currently under the effect of a love potion. Or any….other products." He looked sideways at George.
"Hey, don't look at me!" said George, smiling, "I haven't sold that stuff in years."
"Yeah, after your poison almost got me killed," said Ron.
"Ugh, Merlin, are you ever going to let that go?" George groaned, "Move on, Ron."
After performing some magic detection charms on the pair of them, Carl was apparently satisfied that no one had brainwashed them and they genuinely thought this was a good idea.
"I also assume, given the….circumstances, you haven't written your own vows?" asked Carl uncomfortably.
"I DID!" Harry and Ginny both said immediately.
"When did you do that?" asked Ginny.
"I settled on what to say about six months back," Harry challenged. "You?"
"Ha! I did mine over a year ago!" Ginny said slyly, "I win."
"Oh, well….alright then," said Carl, taking out his wand. "Please, recite your vows while I perform the Bonding Charm."
Harry turned towards Ginny and took both of her hands in his. Carl waved his wand and began muttering under his breath, and thin strands of light drifted down from the tip, wrapping around their enjoined hands.
Harry went first. "Ginevra Molly—"
"Don't do that."
"Sorry. Ginny Weasley, when we first got together, it didn't feel real to me. It felt like a dream, something out of someone else's life. But now….it's more real than anything I've ever known. It's my life, no one else's. I can't imagine what my life would be like without you, so I don't intend to ever find out."
"...wow," said Ginny in a choked voice. Harry could see tears welling in her eyes. "I hope I can top that."
She took a deep breath to steady herself. "When I first met you, I had this image of you as this brave, deep hero from a romantic story. After I got to know you a bit better, I decided that you were actually a reckless, clueless idiot. But then you showed me it's possible to be both at the same time. I love how you can make me laugh by getting tongue-tied when I wink at you, and then say something heartbreakingly romantic before you do something annoyingly noble. So there's no way I'm giving that up, you're stuck with me."
The strands of light binding their hands together snaked up their arms, before disappearing into their hearts.
"I now declare you bonded for life," said Carl with a smile.
Molly, who was now loudly sobbing and clapping her hands, looked around her frantically. "Oh, we need some rice to throw. Why is there no rice in this department!?"
A loud bang made everyone present jump as an explosion of confetti erupted out of the end of George's wand, covering the entire place in bits of glittery red paper.
The receptionist glared at him. "Clean that up."
"Right, sorry." George quickly started vanishing the mess.
"Now, if you all don't mind, this department is now past public hours," said Carl, clearly trying his best to not say "Fuck off and let me go home."
As the Weasley family started making their way back the way they came, Molly was still thinking of other traditions she could fit into this surprise wedding.
"Okay, now we need speeches!" she declared. "The Best Man and Maid of Honour can do speeches after we get back home."
"Oh no!" Hermione cried nervously. "I can't possibly come up with something on such short notice, I thought I would have years to finalize it! I need to get my notes, make an outline, then proofread—"
"What's even the point?" asked Ron. "What is there to say? They're both obnoxious gits, no one else but them can stand the other, so it's good they made it official for the benefits."
"Love you too, Ron," said Ginny, "but we can't go back. You guys go on without us." She and Harry separated from the group and started down a branching hallway.
"What else could you possibly need to do in the Ministry right now? Almost everything's closed," said Arthur.
"We're going to the Portkey office to see what destinations are up," answered Harry. "We need to leave for our honeymoon!"
I started my interest in HP fanfiction by aping a Friends episode, now I'm aping a Parks and Rec episode.