So, my computer decided to delete seven chapters I had already wrote, and this made me lose some of my motivation... I hope you like it.
English is not my first language so if there is any mistake in grammar or if the way I wrote is too posh please tell me.
The peacekeepers led us to separate rooms. Inside there was expensive chairs that are worth more than three pigs each and has more comfort than all of the other houses I saw in this life. I only need to wait for couple of moments before my parents run into the room.
My mother is still crying, but seemed to have calm down comparing to before. Trying her best to look strong for me. As if everything was going to be alright. It will not. She grabs my face between her hands, eyes running trough my face as if to memorize my features. From her mouth a constant mumble of my name and "my baby" came out.
Dad took me out of her arms and hug me, saying how proud he is to have me as his daughter, that I am a smart and brave girl and that he loves me. But he doesn't say to me to come back or that I can win. John Gadeer was never a liar and took a lot of pride in keep his words. He wasn't going to break them now, even to console his younger child.
And maybe part of me agree to them. Because I just embrace my parents as hard as I can and cry.
Too soon the time is up and they are escorted out of the room with dad almost caring mom out. Five minutes is too short to say goodbye, but I doubt that any time would be enough.
My brothers came in after this, all four of them. And for a second, we just stare to each other. How to give hope to someone when you already lost it? I can see this written all over their faces.
Chris and Charlie start to make jokes about what I can do in the arena. Most of them are ridiculous like talking about botany until the other tributes commit suicide just to stop listen to me, but some of them are more serious like hiding in the trees. They make Will and I laugh while James hit their heads for not been appropriate for the moment. For a moment it looks like everything is fine, as if I'm going home soon and not into a train to the Capitol.
But is not going to happen. And as our time gets closer to the end we need to speak about the elephant in the room.
"Take care of mom, dad and the girls. Don't let mom end as Ms. Treeston, cheer her up when she needs it. Don't let dad close himself in the work, he would not say anything, but it's not going to be easy if I…" It felt as something was blocking my throat, I would need to say it, but when I finally do it, I may break down again and there are some things that need to be clear before that. "And the girls, they are stupid, so they are probably blame themselves. Even if they had volunteer nothing stops me from getting reaped the next year. And if the worst happen… You need to live the happiest life possible, since you are going to live it for me too."
Their eyes became glassy with unshed tears, they had not come on terms that this is probably our last meeting, they also don't think I'm going to make it, but humans are irrational beings when it comes to the ones we hold close. Before we could say anything else our time is up. The peacekeepers drove them out with annoyed looks on their faces when my brothers scream that they loved me.
I sit in one of the expensive chairs. How many tributes already said goodbye to their families in this room? Did they expect to come back? Or they already had given up at this point? I'm so young, but there must had been others with my age. Children too young to go to the camp fire, too young to even be consider a teenager, they never had chance to grow up, finish school, fall in love or anything. And soon I may be one of then, my parents will remember me, maybe the rebels will do a prompt based on me as they did with Rue. Both of my lives are going to end too soon. I know that if there was another Ophelia Gadeer in the original stories, one that didn't remember the life of before, she would die this year, as another victim of the games. Or maybe even in the original world of the Hunger Games this always happened, I always have memories, but I am not strong enough for the games.
I was so distracted with my morbid thoughts that when two body crashed on me, I got startle before noticing the brown hair and how my shoulders are getting wet. My sisters kneeled in the ground so they could hug me and even without seeing their faces I could tell they haven't stopped crying since my named was called.
"Oh, Ophelia, Lia, not you. Please, not you. I should have volunteer. Oh my god. I should have volunteer." Chloe was shaking her body back and forward trying to console herself. She does this sometimes, physical stimulation, I think is one of the signs of autism, but health care in the district is scarce and for things that are not visible is almost non-existent, the few doctors that now a little about the subject are too expensive for our family afford, not that I think my parents realize something is wrong. If she actually is, is so subtle that for any ignorant person it passes as a child weird habit.
"Don't be ridiculous. I was the one supposed to do it. I am the oldest. I was the one that should have taken care of you two. I'm so sorry Lia-Mania." Harper says angrily. The old nickname almost bringing tears to my eyes and getting me in the verge of breaking down once more.
It's weird that while we three look like a carbon copy one of other, with the same brown hair and eyes characteristic of the district, slim figure and plump cheeks, our personalities couldn't be more different. Harper is quick to become anger and anything can trigger her temper, Chloe is sensitive, the first to realize when someone is not ok and also the first to be offended by any hard act or word and I am too calculated, at least for a normal twelve-year-old.
Being like this may help me in the games, but for now I need to focused on my sisters.
"Don't be stupid. I didn't want you to volunteer and, even if you did, there is no guarantee I would not be reaped in the next year. And now you are safe Harper. This was your last year. Chloe will be okay in two years. I will try my best, so don't worry. And if I don't come back…" A small smile opens up in my face. "Drink all dad's rum for me."
Both of them grin at this. We discover dad's rum a few years ago when James was considered an adult, but when we ask father about it, he said it was a tradition between males of the Gadeer Clan and we shouldn't worry about it. Now, we may have different personalities and all, but we are the Gadeer's girls, and if you tell us to not do something based on gender, we are obviously going to do it. So, we made a vow that when I am of age, we will steal it and drink all the bottle.
The last person that came to say goodbye to me was Sunshine. At the beginning he just stares at me. I could see the engines running inside his heads, seeing how much I can run, my height, weight, everything that could be used at the Capitol.
"How do you get water in the desert? What you should never do in the dark?"
"Inside a cactus. Never light a fire at night, unless you want the careers going for you." The words came out of my mouth before I finish processing what he had said.
Since his sister died in the arena this became our little macabre game. What would you do if you were there, how would you survive? Some may say this is bad taste joke. We both agree that this is the smart move. Not that Hunter or I ever thought of volunteering, even with all my running and everything we are still farmers not careers. But is better to be safe than sorry.
"You are smart, and fast. Use this. Some guy from six won because he hid until the end. You can do this too. You are going to be the youngest there, so the others would not think you are strong. They are going to focus on other tributes."
"Finnick Odair was the youngest ever to win, and he was fourteen at the time." No twelve-year-old ever won it before. And when Sunshine hug me to comfort both us I became even more scared. He is big for his age, but my best friend is only fifteen and the top of my head cannot reach his shoulders. How big are the careers going to be?
"Someone needs to be the first. You can do it, Shorty. I just know it."
I hug him tighter. I hope he is right.
I really hope he is.