Xin hadn't completely kicked her smoking habit. She kept a pack hidden away in her desk but she rarely reached for them these days. But still, they were there if she ever felt anxious. Besides, she always figured Gaara would prefer her smoking over choking someone out when she reached a high level of agitation.
She'd spent the day down at the orphanage, taking note of what was needed for the caretakers and the children. She'd have to figure out a way to attend to their needs with the given budget but she was working on a proposal to expand the budget. She was sure the council would throw a hissy fit, given the fact that they and the Wind Daimyo had given into the mental health ward but Xin wasn't fucking around when she said she'd do all she could for the future generation.
Peaceful times did not mean the end of orphans. And just because they were orphaned didn't mean they deserved any less than any other child with parents. There was no telling what these kids were destined for once they grew older. Naruto was a prime example and even the Sand Siblings as well. She had to make sure the elders couldn't poke holes into her plans.
Several documents of her recorded notes were spread out among her desk. It fell to them that the orphanage was able to provide sufficient food, clothes and shelter to the kids and things were not up to par. Something she would fix.
Xin sighed and eyed the drawer, drumming her nails against the desktop. Ukyo was making her rounds and Sachiko had taken the twins to Gaara for the afternoon. She could sneak just one smoke in….
Grinning deviously, she stood by the open window and lit a cigarette. She was puffing away for several long seconds, enjoying her peace when the door abruptly slammed open. It startled her and she unconsciously sucked in too much smoke, causing her to sputter and choke.
"Milady!" Genji practically screeched, seemingly indifferent to the fact that she was choking to death.
"Fuck off, Genji," she snapped immediately once she was finally done dying. Her first cigarette in months and she nearly chokes to death over it.
But the former councilman ignored her, marching into her office. If she hadn't been so hung up on choking just now, she'd be impressed with his sudden bravado. "You said you didn't know!"
"That's a broad ass statement. What are you talking about?"
"You said you didn't know who Asuna was dating but how can that be true when she's dating Kankuro?! There's no way you wouldn't know! You lied to me."
Xin eyed her cigarette, wondering if it would be worth it. "You asked if Asuna was dating, which of course is none of your business either way. I didn't lie to you."
"It is my business."
"Genji, for shit's sake. She's moved on, let it go."
"To Kankuro, of all people."
Xin looked up at Genji, squinting. "Yeah, and?"
"And? And he's not—"
"Think long and hard on your next words, Genji. Let's not forget that Kankuro is my brother and I am not afraid to break your other kneecap," she threatened with a slight snarl. If he wanted to whine and complain about Asuna, that was his business as a divorced couple. That didn't mean she was about to let him drag Kankuro's name through the mud because of some misguided animosity.
Genji seemed to realize his error because he tried to compose himself. It seemed that her protective nature extended even to Kankuro, surprisingly. Usually when he saw the two together, they were bullying and harassing one another. But apparently anyone else speaking ill of the puppet-master was off the table. "I apologize, milady," Genji grunted through clenched teeth. "It just doesn't sit right with me that Kankuro is dating Asuna."
"Give me one good reason. And think carefully."
"He's unreliable."
"That's rich coming from a divorcée. I doubt the Kazekage would keep an unreliable person within his circle, sibling or not. Strike one. Try again."
"You said one!"
"Which you haven't given me yet."
"He focuses too much on his dolls."
"Puppets and within reason. He focuses on his puppets as much as I focus on Taijutsu or Kazekage-sama focuses on sand. Strike two."
"He isn't mature enough to date Asuna!"
"And I suppose you are? Strike three and that's game," she lit her cigarette again, realizing it had gone out. "I tried to gently persuade you into getting some therapy last time because Kazekage-sama says I can't strong-arm people into it." She popped the cigarette into her mouth and took several generous puffs.
"But this shit is getting sad so here's what we're going to do. You're going to therapy whether you like it or not. Doesn't have to be with me but you need to talk to someone about this obsession."
"Milady, with all due respect—"
"If you refuse," she said over him. "I will break your legs, have your citizenship revoked and have you sent back to Kiri."
"You," Genji sputtered, gaping like a dumbass fish. "You don't have the power to make a decision like that."
"No? Don't think so?" Xin continued to smoke, raising an amused eyebrow. "You're not here because Kazekage-sama likes you, you're here because of Momo and Asuna, as a favor. I'm pretty sure if I raise some concern about your recent behavior, your ass will be back in Kiri before you can blink."
Genji stared at her for a long moment, eyes slightly narrowing. He was, of course, generally fearful of her but he felt his anger rising. "Are you threatening me, milady?" He spat her title out with a harsh frown.
"Obviously," she rolled her eyes. "Your behavior is concerning, Genji. Hurt people hurt people."
"I'm not hurt," he hissed immediately.
"And I'm blind," Xin snorted sarcastically. "If you refuse the therapy, fine but you're going back to Kiri. Again, I urge you to think long and hard."
"You can't just force me to do it."
"I'm not, I said you don't have to but just know if you don't, your ass is out of here before you can blink. I've given you options, all you have to do is pick one."
Genji, as stated many times before, was afraid of Xin. Whether they developed somewhat of a rocky friendship or not wouldn't change the fact that the two were once on different sides. He wasn't entirely sure what the woman was fully capable of but he knew she was a demon from Hell. She'd bested both Jura and Kyohei more than once, taking them on that same time, had broken his kneecap before and doggedly chased after the kidnapped Kazekage once upon a time. And honestly, those situations hadn't happened all that long ago. Maybe she didn't really remember but he sure as hell did.
But still, he couldn't continue to live in fear of this woman. He had to stand up to her at some point. Once upon a time, he'd been a councilman. It was a position of power, one that would typically outrank that of a medical ninja's position.
"You're just a medic," Genji suddenly snapped. His sudden accusation, one that rippled and rubbed her the wrong way, caused her to slowly tilt her head to the side. Naturally, it creeped him out and he wasn't sure if that's what she wanted, no one could ever be sure what Xin really wanted. "You don't have the right to decide who can and can't stay in the village."
Very slowly, she brought the cigarette back up to her mouth and took a long, thoughtful drag. The entire time, she didn't break eye contact with him, never blinking. "Just a medic, hm?" she asked, the corner of her mouth quirking up into an amused smile. The amusement didn't quite reach her eyes though. Her gaze was almost empty, hard and cold as she continued to stare at him.
"You know," she began after a moment of silence. "I really like when people doubt me or underestimate me. It's like…a trigger in my brain and I just…have to prove them wrong. It might be a Konoha thing or maybe it's some childhood trauma…" she trailed off almost wistfully. "So, ask yourself if you really want to make me prove you wrong."
He thought about Kyohei, Masahiro and Kenta who were all dead by this woman's hand. The three had doubted her time and time again up until the very end. He thought of Minori, who wasn't exactly innocent but ended up dead for getting tangled up in Xin. He thought of Yoshiko and Mai, who were still alive but they weren't quite themselves anymore after dealing with Xin extensively.
There must have been more who suffered at the hands of her, who doubted her because of her soft appearance, her short stature and undeniable beauty. Maybe that's what thrilled her the most.
Xin puffed along for several seconds. "I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to separate you from Momoka," she began after several seconds of silence. "But I can't let you spiral, Genji. You may think your behavior isn't strange but it is. I want to help."
He regarded her and for one lone moment, wondered if she had a split personality. He had family in Kiri but could he really give up Momoka? Besides, if his family found out about his questionable decisions and being stripped of a councilman, they'd be ashamed of him. He couldn't go back to Kiri.
"Fine, milady, you win. But…I'll only attend if…Ukyo is the therapist."
"Denied," Xin said flatly. "Ukyo doesn't participate in that area, she has her own trauma she has to deal with. Perhaps you forgot?" She shot him a pointed look laced with acid.
"Oh," Genji faltered, he'd been so wrapped up in himself that he forgot Ukyo's own trauma. "That's a shame, she's such an empathetic young girl."
"Yes, well," her tone was sour. "She's a great healer and she assists in many ways but I keep her away from that. Anyway, I'll assign you someone else. Your first session will begin immediately and you will participate. You give them a hard time and I'll give you a black eye. We clear?"
He returned her stare, mouth pinched tightly. This was the last thing he wanted but he had no choice. He scolded himself for losing his temper over the revelation that Asuna was interested in Kankuro. What was he thinking, storming into his sister-in-law's office to complain? As if she would take his side over Kankuro's side.
Genji vowed to do better, really he had no choice. It was either that or get his shit broken and then sent back to Kiri. As much as he sucked as a father, in Xin's opinion anyway, he wouldn't be an absent father.
"Crystal, milady."
"Good, now get the fuck out and let me smoke my cigarette in peace before—"
Sachiko and Ukyo returned at that very moment and, taking immediate notice of the cigarette, promptly began chewing Xin out. Genji took the opportunity to flee, leaving Xin to her fate.
Her well-deserving fate.
"Gaara, please. I said I was sorry and I brushed my teeth and washed my hands! Give him back," Xin whined petulantly from behind the wall of sand. "This is ridiculous."
Ukyo and Sachiko immediately ratted her out to Gaara, who wasn't pleased to hear that Xin managed to smoke an entire cigarette before both girls wrestled it from her. In retaliation, he wouldn't hand Ryuu or Riku over when she smelled like nicotine. "You said you stopped smoking, Xin," Gaara replied instead.
"I will…I mean I did! I am? It was just one cigarette, I promise! I was just a little stressed out," she pounded a fist against the sand but it did nothing. "You're being an asshole and I said no sand in the house!"
"Yes and I said no smoking."
"I'm sorry, oh my God."
Kankuro snickered. "That's what you get, Xin. We should use the sand more often to put her on time-out. Maybe she'll actually learn something."
"Shut the fuck up, Kankuro," Xin hissed. She could hear Ryuu and Riku babbling nonsensically and she pouted. "I promise I'll try harder now please can I come out? I want my babies."
It was silent before Gaara sighed heavily. He gave in, ignoring Kankuro pointing out that he always gave in and dropped the sand. Xin cheered and rushed over, plopping down in the middle of Kankuro and Gaara. She snatched both boys from them, gathering them to her chest. "Daddy's so mean, isn't he?"
She cooed over them, kissing their faces and laughing when they tried to return the gesture. They mapped wet kisses along her face, mouthing at her cheeks and jaw.
"Hand them over to Kankuro, I want to show you something," Gaara said suddenly, standing up after several minutes of letting her fuss.
She gaped up at him in dismay. "I just got them! Can't it wait?" she whined irritably, hugging them to her chest. Gaara only patted her on the head and with a sigh, she herded them off to Kankuro.
"We'll only be gone a little while, Kankuro. Think you can handle it?" Gaara asked in slight amusement, reaching for Xin's hand when she begrudgingly stood up.
"Yeah, yeah," Kankuro waved his teasing off with a scowl. "I hope you're not sneaking off to make another one of these spawns."
"When we do, I'll be sure to let you know," Xin shot back, grinning in triumph when he threw his head back with a groan. Gaara led her out and she had no choice but to follow.
They ended up at Suna's cemetery. Xin eyed him suspiciously but followed anyway. She paused every so often, carefully dusting sand from a gravestone. He eventually led her to his uncle and parents' gravestones. While she wasn't all that fond of her father and uncle-in-law, she still tended to the graves the same as she did for Karura. Gaara seemed to have forgiven the two men as he'd gotten older but that didn't mean she thought fondly of them.
Strangely enough, there was a new gravestone. It had no name but a simple date. December twenty-seventh. She stared blankly at her own birthday, confused. "I know I said I'd die before you but what the fuck. This is a bit dark, isn't it?"
Gaara snorted and let go of her hand to fold his arms across his chest. "It's not a gravestone for you, Xin. It's for…." he trailed off, looking somewhat thoughtful as he tried to carefully pick his words. "For the child we lost." He watched with that same thoughtful look as his words fully registered to her. Her expression slowly tightened, lips set in a firm line. She moved closer to the gravestone, smaller compared to others, and crouched down in front of it. With gentle fingers, she ran her fingers along the etched date. Her birthdate and the child's death date.
It wasn't something they often talked about but she carried the weight of the loss every day. Gaara joined her, crouching down next to her. "This is…" she trailed off softly.
"I thought it would be better to give the child's spirit a place to rest."
"She. I think the child was a girl." There was no way of really knowing, as it was both too early and too late when it happened but she just had a feeling that the lost baby was a girl. "You think she's with your parents and uncle now?"
"Hopefully she's just with my mother," Gaara snorted. "I'm not entirely sure how Yashamaru and Rasa would react to any child of mine."
That managed to get a weak laugh out of her. "I think this will always be the worst time of my life," she admitted. "Isn't that ironic?"
Gaara didn't immediately answer, eyes focused on the gravestone. "When we were in Konoha for Temari's wedding, Hinata told me something Ino said."
"Oh, God. Way to ruin the moment, what'd that amazonian freak say?"
"Why's all your friendships antagonistic?"
"It's just how we're built."
Gaara chuckled but continued on. "When they found out we were having twins, Ino said that the second baby was a gift after the miscarriage." He reached over and rubbed at her lower back.
She blinked and thought about Ino's words. "Wow, that might be the nicest thing she's ever said."
"Hinata also said Ino made them all promise not to tell you she said that."
"Annnnd there it is," she laughed again but this time it was more heartily. She edged forward, settling on her knees in the sand and leaned her forehead against the gravestone. Her laughter died down, trickling away into soft sobs.
"I think it's one of my biggest regrets when it comes to our marriage," Gaara confessed easily when her crying eventually calmed down.
"You have regrets?" She sniffled but didn't sit up. That was disappointing to hear. Despite it all, she didn't necessarily regret anything that happened so far. Or maybe she did but she couldn't remember them.
"Yes, three. Just three," Gaara answered truthfully. "I regret how we met, how bad it was. Sometimes it's hard to even believe we were those same people in the beginning. Always arguing and fighting, saying the things we've said. I regret that."
She still didn't pick her head up from the gravestone but she continued to listen. "I regret having to leave you in Konoha. It sounded right and I told myself that it was but it felt like…" he paused as he tried to pick the right word. "Betrayal. It felt like I was betraying you."
He reached under her shirt to settle his hand against her skin. "And I regret not being around when the miscarriage happened."
Xin finally sat up to look at him. Tears tracked a trail down her pale face but she smiled nonetheless. "None of that is your fault," she said after a pause. "Well, maybe the first one is. Half of it because I certainly didn't make things easy at first. You shouldn't have those regrets."
"You say that but it doesn't change how I feel. I'll tell you that the miscarriage wasn't your fault but you still feel the way you feel, don't you?"
"It was."
"It wasn't but Hinata once said you'd never forgive yourself. It's probably true and you'll never forgive yourself but I think this might ease the pain.." At least he hoped as much. Nothing would really ease the pain she carried each and every day but maybe it would be easier to carry.
"This is…this is nice. It's good. My baby has somewhere to rest." She was still smiling but it was touched with some sadness. "Our. I mean. Our baby has somewhere to rest." She cupped his face. "Maybe it'll get a little easier."
They stayed a little while longer crouched in front of the little grave and only returned home when the late afternoon fell away into the early evening. Gaara peeled her away first, keeping his arm around her waist as he guided her back home.
Kankuro eyed her the minute they returned, frowning. "It's getting easier and easier to make you cry these days, Xin."
"Shut the fuck up."
Sasori was genuinely surprised to see Xin outside of the hospital or the greenhouse. Even more when he realized she was without her sons, who to him, reminded him of two smaller tumors that constantly hung off of her. She was often far too busy, doing something for the betterment of Suna.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked immediately. It wasn't an often occurrence to run into her at the cemetery. It wasn't like she had any family to visit, unless she was visiting the Kazekage's deceased parents and uncle. Even so, she wouldn't have a reason to linger at any of their graves even if she was visiting out of respect.
Xin turned and immediately smiled at the sight of him. "Sasori, hello," she greeted pleasantly but he noticed something wooden about her expression.
The taller redhead sidled up next to her, hands resting casually in his pockets. "Visiting your inlaws? I would've assumed you wouldn't necessarily be fond of them, given the circumstances of your husband's upbringing." As he studied the graves, he noticed a newer, smaller grave. It was nameless but the date December twenty-seventh was etched into the stone. Xin's birthday.
"I suppose I'm not but Gaara has moved on. I take care of their graves when he and Kankuro are unable to," she replied, eyes slowly drifting down towards the new grave. She reached for it, laying her hand against the sharp edge of it with a loving smile.
It didn't take a genius to figure out who the grave was for. "You…miscarried on your birthday?" While he was aware of Xin's first doomed pregnancy, he hadn't known when it happened.
Her head twitched and she squinted. "How do you know about that?" she asked but she didn't seem all that offended. Curious and surprised but not angry that he even knew about it.
"Your husband told me about it," Sasori answered truthfully. "I'm sorry, Xin."
She let out a soft scoff, not one of derision. "Yeah, me too. Was there a reason Gaara decided to tell you about it? It's a strange topic for the two of you to discuss something like…that." Her voice was stale, wooden, as she gently caressed the grave. He was positive that she was reliving an awful memory.
"He was very protective of you when you were pregnant with your twins, about your emotional stability. He didn't go into details but made it clear he'd kill me if I were to upset you and cause something traumatic during your pregnancy," he explained with a casual drawl.
She laughed and shook her head. "Is that so? He never told me the details of that conversation." She hadn't thought to really question Gaara about that conversation, deeming it unnecessary. He watched as her expression morphed into something less sad and far more loving. Enamored. Like the thought of Gaara threatening anyone over her was a pleasing thought.
Psychotic couple, Sasori found himself snorting. Somehow, he still found himself wholly attracted to her. Did that make him just as psychotic? Possibly. Would he ever stop pining after her? He was damn there thirty, still pining for some young and married mother.
It was strange to know that even after suffering, she still had love in her. Psychotic as she was, Xin was loving in her own way. He wondered how she hadn't become bitter. Hell, he wondered why she wasn't bitter.
"Why have more children after going through that?" Sasori asked before he could stop himself. He cringed immediately. He was an asshole but even he knew that was something you didn't ask a woman. If she decided to knock his teeth down into his fuckin' stomach, he wouldn't have blamed her.
"Because I knew I had enough love in me," Xin replied almost thoughtlessly. "Heh, that probably sounded really cheesy to you, didn't it?"
"Of course not." And it didn't. "Does it….does it still hurt?"
She pursed her lips. "It's always going to hurt. You know, I've gotten used to the hurt, it feels normal. Almost like…I can't even feel it, it feels so natural to hurt over it. I think I'll always mourn."
"Mourn over someone you never met?"
"Yes, of course. I didn't have to meet her to know I loved her." She was smiling again, genuinely. Lovingly. He couldn't even fathom the thought. "Enough about me," she said after a moment. "What are you doing here?"
His eyes strayed from the Kazekage's family graves and ended up directed at his own family's graves. Both his parents and grandparents were gone and he was the only one left to take care of them now. It felt foreign to him but if he neglected them, he was sure at least Xin would object.
She followed his gaze. "Ah, Chiyo-baa. You know, she was always kind to me. Even when I first came to Suna, none of the villagers trusted me. I think because we have the same humor."
"Your sense of humor is fucked," Sasori snorted but he wasn't surprised. "She spoke highly of you, which is impressive given your connections with Tsunade."
"She spoke highly of you too," she revealed sweetly. "Don't give me that look, Sasori. She was proud of you. We're not proud of every single decision we make in life, it's nearly impossible."
"I've done more bad than good and you know it. You know what I've done."
"The same could be said about me…except you don't know for sure what I've done. I don't know fully. Now tell me, what are you really angry about?"
"Angry? I'm not angry about anything, Xin." Sasori spat acid, which had the opposite effect of what he was trying to prove.
"Right, that didn't sound angry at all." She wasn't the least bit convinced, chucking as she folded her arms across her chest. "You've got to learn to let go of your mistakes. It's no way to live."
"I suppose you'd know most of all." He felt like he couldn't even help himself. She was digging for things not there and it was pissing him off. Somehow she had it in her head that he was worth something, that there was some good buried under the load of his bullshit.
"Suppose I would," she replied with a hum, rocking back and forth on her heels. "I'd know best of all. I mean, aren't you tired of living like that? Miserably? You think Chiyo-baa would want that for you?"
"How would you know what Chiyo would want?"
Her expression shifted almost into something akin to asking 'are you dumb?' but she didn't say as much. "Because she told me, you hermit. She wanted more for you and you'd know that if you bothered to actually talk to the woman. She didn't think any less of you."
He wanted to sneer at her. "She should." He hadn't meant to say as much but Xin always had that special knack for pushing buttons.
"Well, she didn't and you have no right to decide how she should feel."
"I was literally a criminal for a big chunk of my life, Xin. She had to think less of me. I took her kindness for granted and wasted the last bit of our time." Immediately he stopped talking, eyes blazing as he realized she managed to get something out of him that was better left unsaid.
"Ah," she ignored his look of disdain. "So this is all about guilt then. Makes sense, Chiyo raised you after your parents died and in return, you fuck off for like a decade only to come back as a complete asshole until she finally just dies."
"Xin, what the fuck."
"What? Why pretty it up? That's what it's about, right? You were a horrible grandson and now you feel bad about it."
"I don't feel bad about shit."
"Yeah, okay. You keep telling yourself that," Xin replied easily. She pursed her lips in thought. "It might be pretentious of me because I'm still fairly new at this but…" she trailed off. "A parent's love, grandparents included, I think their love is unyielding, you know? They might be disappointed in the choices their kid makes but it's hard to stop loving your own child."
He wasn't exactly sure how to react to such a statement. It was something wholly vulnerable for her to say, to even admit to. Maybe that's what she meant when she confessed that she still had love to give.
"But, what do I know?" Xin said after a moment with a casual shrug. "I'm sure Chiyo-baa wouldn't approve of your mopey behavior. It's time you get out and like, I don't know, socialize. Go on a date."
Sasori sent her a scathing look. She managed to change the subject so effortlessly while taking jabs at him. "I don't need to date, Xin. It's a waste of time."
"Oh? Would it be a waste if I wanted to date you then?" she asked with raised eyebrows. "You know you've got to let that go, yeah? I bet you'd find a nice girl if you quit looking for me in every girl you meet."
"Don't flatter yourself."
But Xin only grinned, clearly unaffected by his supposed rejection. "Fine, fine but keep it in mind at least, yes? I'm sure Chiyo-baa would rest easy if you quit being such a recluse, old man."
"I'm not that much older than you," Sasori said, incensed.
"You're nearly a decade older than me," she snatched his bucket from him and approached Chiyo's grave. "You have the attitude of an old man. Crotchety." She knelt in front of the grave and began carefully cleaning it. "Isn't that right, Chiyo-baa? His sense of humor sucks."
"It's not like she can hear you," Sasori intoned blankly, kneeling down next to her. He snatched the cloth away from her, gently wiping the gravestone instead.
She scowled back at him but relented. "How do you know? Have you died before and come back? Shut up and let me talk to her. I talk to Karura all the time."
"I think she would've liked you."
"Karura? You knew her?"
"Not really but Chiyo did. She said she was a pleasant woman, similar to Temari."
"Well, I certainly hope she'd like me."
"Rasa, on the other hand…."
"Oh, fuck that guy. I'd make it my life's mission to make sure his life was a living Hell if he were still alive. He'd never know the true meaning of peace with me around."
That managed a laugh out of him. "I'm guessing you're not a fan of the former Kage."
"He traumatized my goddamn husband and in-laws. The day he was killed and thrown into a ditch was a mercy he didn't deserve."
"Think he'd treat your kids like he treated his?"
"I would knock his teeth out of his mouth if he so much as frowned at my children."
Again, he laughed. It was a pity that Rasa and Karura were dead. He was positive he'd enjoy any interaction between them and their violent daughter-in-law. It was probably for the best that Xin and Rasa were destined to never meet. A pity but it was for the best.
"Never change, Xin."
Asuna and Ukyo simultaneously cringe the moment Xin's fist connected with Hideki's side. He's sent hurtling away from her, hitting the ground and continuously rolling away until he stopped. Jura immediately rushed her but she dodged his kick, ducking under the long limb.
"I don't think I've ever met someone quite as brutal as her when it comes to taijutsu," Asuna said, watching as Hideki stumbled to his feet. She didn't need Xin's coveted dojutsu to figure out his ribs were definitely cracked. Maybe even broken.
Ryuu and Riku gurgled in excitement, unaware that their mother was a violent terror. Ukyo chuckled weakly. "She's truly a force. She almost broke my nose with her palm."
"You're all crazy for willingly sparring with her, isn't that right, Ryuu? Your mama is scary when she fights," she cooed into Ryuu's hair, grinning as he continued to gurgle with almost fiendish glee. "Are you enjoying this? Watching mama beat the crap out of my brothers?"
They continued to gurgle and giggle, causing Asuna to weakly laugh. Ukyo shared her laughter, wondering if their amusement at Xin's natural violence was a bad sign or not. She cleared her throat a moment later. "I've been meaning to ask you about Genji," she began in a careful tone.
Asuna paused. While it was obvious that Genji still hoped to repair their relationship, she couldn't fathom the thought. It wasn't like he'd done something trivial, he broke the very foundation of their trust. How could she possibly ever trust him again? How would she ever know what he was truly thinking if he could easily craft such an innocent façade.
"He was upset to find out you were dating again," Uyko continued, watching for Asuna's reaction.
"I don't see how that's any of his business," Asuna said with feigned disinterest.
"Well, he was very concerned for Momo's safety or so that's what Sensei said."
Asuna made a face and finally looked at Ukyo, pale brows shooting up her forehead. "Sensei?"
"Yes, Xin-sensei. He confronted her about it but she only confirmed that you were dating. The second time he—"
"The second time?"
"Yes, recently he figured out you were dating Kankuro-sensei. I think maybe Momo might've let it slip by accident. Anyway, he was very upset about it and came rushing into her office demanding answers. I think the only reason she didn't hit him was because she was trying to savor her cigarette instead," Ukyo shook her head. She thought very little of Xin's smoking habit.
The older woman threw her head back with a groan. "Oh, for Heaven's sake. That's so embarrassing, I can't believe he went to her about this, what was he thinking?" She was glad to hear Xin was too preoccupied with her cigarette to physically retaliate. She wasn't sure how she would explain to Momoka that her father was strangled to death by her favorite aunt.
Ukyo gently shifted Riku to sit up on her lap. "Sensei thinks he needs therapy but Genji was very against it." Xin hadn't mentioned any of this to Asuna, figuring it would upset the blonde. Ukyo, on the other hand, couldn't just ignore the fact that her ex-husband was being a menace and that if pushed enough, Xin would inevitably suckerpunch him in the eye.
"Genji'll never agree to something like that," Asuna shook her head. "I doubt he'd even believe in therapy. He's from such an old-fashioned family, you know? Mental instability doesn't exist to people like them, they prefer to just sweep it under the rug and behave as if everything's okay." Asuna's tone was breaking down into something sour and Ukyo was sure she was recalling a bitter memory.
Xin caught Hideki and swung him around, throwing him straight into Jura. She grinned manically as the two rolled away. "Actually, from what I've been told, he's agreed to it this time," Ukyo replied, smiling weakly. She knew what it was like to get her ass handed to her by Xin. No matter how hard one tried, hand to hand combat just came too easy to Xin.
"Seriously?"
Ukyo nodded. "I'm not sure how you'll take this but she threatened to send him back to Kiri if he refuses."
Again, Asuna groaned. Honestly, it wasn't the worst she's done to the Mikawa family. After all, Kyohei was dead….er….well, technically she wasn't the one to execute him. But to be fair, she did kick her brother's ass pretty hard before he was executed. Even so, as bad as their relationship was, she'd be upset if Genji wasn't in Momoka's life. She deserved a father, as shitty as he was and Momoka loved him to pieces.
"So, he chose therapy then."
"It would seem so."
"What….what did he say about Kankuro?" Asuna asked carefully.
"Sensei didn't say as much but I'm assuming he probably thinks he isn't good enough for you." Honestly, she wasn't sure what Genji was thinking to even mildly insult Kankuro to Xin's face. He was lucky his saving grace came in the form of a cigarette. "I don't mean to intrude but perhaps it's best that you make it clear that you two won't get back together?"
Asuna grunted in confusion. "He knows that already."
"Are you sure? From what Sensei said, it doesn't seem like it. She's worried."
"Are you sure she isn't just annoyed?"
"She's always annoyed," Ukyo giggled, far too used to the Hyuga's less than impressed attitude. "But I really do think she's concerned. Maybe laying down some boundaries with Genji might help."
It's a shame, Ukyo would make a fine addition to the mental health clinic had it not been for her own trauma. Maybe one day, when she was okay enough, she could use her experience to help others. Maybe follow in Xin's footsteps. She could see Ukyo inheriting the lead position when Xin decided that she was (in her own words, no doubt) too old for this shit.
"I can't believe this," Asuna grumbled. "Isn't it enough that he was in on that ridiculous coup? Now he's just going around, acting like a macho idiot!"
Her exclamation was enough to garner Xin's attention. She paused and glanced over at them, her eyes falling down to Ryuu and Riku. Jura seized the opportunity and managed to land a kick to the chest that knocked the wind out of her. His victory was short lived when she retaliated with a savage punch to the face.
Asuna and Ukyo cringed as Xin climbed his body, thighs closing around his head. She twisted, running the risk of breaking his neck but instead threw him down the ground. "He can never dodge that," Ukyo commented in exasperation. She wasn't sure why Jura never seemed to be able to evade the attack. With his height and weight and plus Xin's added weight, it had to hurt when he hit the ground.
"At least she didn't break his neck," Asuna sighed. "The men in my life…." She unwrapped one arm from Ryuu, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. She was sure that she and Genji parted on somewhat amicable terms. It wasn't easy and they had their arguments but they agreed to have somewhat of a steady relationship for Momo's sake. Now he was running around, embarrassing her. And to Xin, of all people.
Great, just great.
Maybe Ukyo was right and that she needed to lay down some boundaries with her ex-husband.
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, you know. You're not responsible for his actions," Ukyo said, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"When on Earth did you get to be so wise?" Asuna asked around a sarcastic chuckle. Ukyo's words were true but she was still embarrassed as all hell. She should have better control over her personal life, she was too old for this. Genji was too old for it.
"Wise?" Ukyo repeated with her own laugh of disbelief. "I wouldn't say that."
"Modest too," Asuna grinned. "Wise, beautiful and deadly with those tonfa of yours. The whole package."
"Wise, beautiful and deadly?" Ukyo snorted and it sounded so dead to Asuna. She looked down when Riku reached for her fingers, avoiding the older blonde's gaze.
But that wouldn't stop her. She nudged Ukyo's side. "Hey, are you doing okay?" After living together without the chaos of the rest of the Mikawas, Asuna liked to believe they were rather close. Close enough, at least.
She didn't immediately answer, focusing instead on Riku. When she looked back up at Asuna, she was smiling brilliantly. "I'm fine, Asuna. Just fine."
She didn't need Xin's Dojutsu to see through that bullshit lie.
Xin frowned as she read over Genji's reports. His assigned therapist, Chinatsu, stood before her with a look of unease. She was a little older than Xin but she highly respected the other woman. In turn, Xin liked her well enough, believing her to be a nice, empathetic woman. "This is…" Xin trailed off, tapping her lips. "This is really short for the amount of time that he's been meeting with you, isn't it? I expected a little more."
Chinatsu sighed, she was well aware of the abysmally short report. She wasn't necessarily nervous for herself, she was nervous for Genji. "Well," she pursed her lips. "He hasn't really been participating."
"Does he even try?"
"Ah…well…"
"Chinatsu."
"No, he doesn't. He refuses to talk about much and if he does, it's the bare minimum. I understand that he comes from a very traditional family so I'm trying to be lenient with him. I'm sorry, milady, I'll try—"
Xin snorted and shook her head. "Believe me, you have nothing to be sorry about. You know what though?"
"…What?"
"He's going to be sorry. Could you please tell the front desk to summon him immediately for me?" Xin smiled cheerfully, leaning over to rifle through her desk drawers once more. Chinatsu didn't move, wringing her hands nervously. "Natsu?" she pressed once she realized the medic was still just standing around.
"You're not…going to hit him, are you?" Chinatsu asked slowly. She knew very well of the antagonistic relationship between Genji and Xin but like most of the staff, kept quiet. If Xin wanted any of their opinions on how she handled their relationship, she'd ask.
"Hit him?" Xin repeated with an amused chuckle. "I suppose I won't. Please, relay my message?" She stood up, finally finding what she'd been looking for in her desk drawer. Another pack of cigarettes, one that Ukyo and Sachiko somehow missed.
Xin patiently waited for Genji, lighting up her cigarette and standing by the window. Hopefully Ukyo and Sachiko wouldn't be able to smell it if she blew the smoke out of the window. She tapped her foot patiently, watching as Suna bustled about below.
She was on her second cigarette when Genji finally dragged his sorry ass into her office. He was already well aware of why he was being summoned. Chinatsu grimaced nervously as she led him to the office but he hardly blamed the medic. "A word of advice, Genji," Chinatsu sighed as she opened the door. "Don't piss her off."
He snorted but entered the office, his bravado nearly faltering when Chinatsu closed the door. Xin remained at the window, her back pressed to the wall she continued to gaze out of it. She puckered her lips and blew a steady stream of smoke out, finally gracing him with her attention.
"Genji," she hummed cheerfully. "Now, let's cut to the chase, yeah?"
"Never one to beat around the bush, milady…"
Xin chuckled and motioned for him to join her at the window. "Suna's so different from Konoha, you know? Konoha is kind of always loud. Boisterous. It's always quiet here though. It's kind of nice, I suppose…"
Genji peered out of the window, put off by her odd behavior. "I thought you said you would cut to the chase…?"
"I thought you'd prefer it since you commented on it but I guess not," she laughed merrily, blowing yet another stream of smoke out. "Okay. Let's see. We…had a deal, didn't we? You wouldn't give my medics a hard time so I wouldn't punch you in the eye."
"Milady…"
"Now, one of us hasn't been holding up their end of the deal, yeah?" Xin said over him. "It certainly wasn't me because I haven't punched you in the eye yet, right?"
Genji scowled at her. "I don't need therapy, milady. I'm sorry. Chinatsu is a very nice woman but her questions are a whole bunch of nothing. I don't need therapy."
"I disagree," Xin shrugged nonchalantly. "You do, so if you could please participate—"
"I won't. I tried it, it's not for me."
"You didn't try shit, Genji. I read the reports."
"Then they're wrong."
"I'm sorry, are you calling my medic a liar? And unfit for her job?"
"I never said that."
"Yes, just like you never even tried to participate. Don't waste my time, Genji. I said please."
Genji narrowed his eyes at her, scowling. "Just because you said please won't change the fact that I refuse."
"You refuse."
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes and if that means getting punched in the face—"
"Oh, I'm not going to punch you in the face," Xin chuckled, head tilted back with a leisurely inhale. "I told Chinatsu that I wouldn't even though our deal dictates that I punch you in the eye."
He didn't trust her word for one second but she remained against the wall, eyes still watching Suna. He'd never known her not to use violence. The woman was a damn thug, using violence as her solution for every problem she came across. She seemed more focused on smoking her cigarette anyway.
Without any warning, Xin's arm shot up. She grabbed the front of Genji's shirt, her grip on him like iron. She spun them in a circle and abruptly shoved him backwards out of the window. He let out a shriek of surprise, garnering attention from below and outside of the office.
Chinatsu threw the door open, only to shriek in surprise that sounded oddly similar to Genji's own shriek. "Milady! What the hell are you doing?!"
Xin held Genji out of the window, deceptively calm even as he struggled. "Everything's fine, Natsu. Shut the door, will you?"
"Milady, please!"
"Shut. The. Door." Xin's tone was like ice. "Please, Chinatsu. Everything's fine, we're just talking."
"Are you insane?!" Genji screeched.
"I think we both know the answer to that," Xin chuckled around her grin. "Now you listen here. I don't like to beg, unless it's in bed," she leered with a wink. "And I certainly don't like to repeat myself but you're Momo's father so I'm really trying here. Can't you do the same?"
"This is insane! Pull me back in now!"
"Funny, the man being held out the window against his will is making demands. You see the irony in that?"
"Xin!"
"Now, now. Only my friends get to call me that. Are you my friend? You could be." Xin actually had the audacity to puff along on her cigarette as if she wasn't holding a grown man out of the window. Genji kicked wildly but it served no purpose. "What? I said I wouldn't hit you."
"Milady, please!"
"Oh, come on, Genji. You can beg a little better than that."
Getting punched in the eye would've been a lot better, Genji realized somewhere underneath his panic. Usually, he'd call her bluff because who would actually throw a villager out of a window of the hospital?
Xin, that's who.
"Please, we can talk, I promise. Just pull me back in, milady!"
Xin stared impassively down at him before loosening her grip ever so slightly. Genji squawked and flailed like a fish out of water. He clung to her wrist, tears nearly gathering at his eyes in his desperation. "Are you crying?" Of course the she-demon noticed. "For Heaven's sake."
With strength she shouldn't possess, she heaved Genji back into the office. He faltered immediately but Chinatsu rushed to his side, catching him before he could collapse. She walked him around Xin's desk and dropped him in the opposing chair. "Milady…"
"Hush, you." Xin completely ignored her, eyes falling on Genji. He was practically hyperventilating in the chair. "Genji, calm down or you'll hyperventilate." He gripped the arms of the chair and gasped for air, tears involuntarily gushing down his cheeks. Chinatsu leaned over, a comforting hand on his back as she tried to calm him down. Xin watched, unimpressed before rolling her eyes.
She waved Chinatsu away and leaned over, pinching at Genji's mouth until his lips puckered. Chinatsu watched and for a moment, wondered if the small woman would actually kiss Genji.
"Okay, now breathe like you're whistling…there we go."
Chinatsu was actually surprised. Sure, she knew the woman usually had great bedside manner but clearly she didn't give a fuck when it came to Genji. She really thought she was going to toss his ass out of the window. How they would explain that to the Kazekage was beyond her.
When he was calm enough, his panic turned to rage. "Are you insane?!" He bellowed, shooting up to his feet. "You could've killed me!"
Despite the fact that she was noticeably shorter, Xin didn't really react to his rage. She simply tilted her head back. "How many times are you going to ask that?" she intoned blankly. "Please, if I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't throw you out of the window. It would traumatize the villagers."
"Milady.." Chinatsu trailed off.
"I can't stand you," Genji snapped through clenched teeth.
Xin only shrugged a shoulder before turning in a flourish, essentially brushing him off. "I'll live." He wasn't the first person to dislike her and he wouldn't be the last. She sat back down as if she hadn't just seriously threatened his life. "Are you ready to cooperate or do I have to kick it up a notch?"
"You just dangled me out of the window!"
"I could do a lot worse. Fuck around and find out."
"Milady…."
"Let's try this again, yes?" Xin leaned back in her chair with a casual stretch. "Are you going to try, Genji?"
The office fell into a harsh silence. Chinatsu grimaced, eyeing both occupants. "This isn't fair," Genji said after a long pause, eyes hard like steel. Chinatsu closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable sound of a bone snapping.
Xin stared up at him, eyes blank. "Remember when Masahiro had me kidnapped? Remember when they beat the living shit out of me, beat me within an inch of my life? They hung me up like a slaughtered pig, let the rope around my wrists dig so deeply into my skin that it was beginning to fuse. Do you remember all that?"
Chinatsu and Genji stared back at her in abject horror. Chinatsu, especially, was confused and turned her green eyes on Genji. But he said nothing. He'd positive that Xin couldn't even remember that.
"When I was laying there in my own blood, sweat and tears, I wasn't thinking 'this isn't fair'. When it comes down to it, that only really happened because of my marriage to Kazekage-sama. Sure, Kyohei hated me but I was only on their radar in the first place because of my husband."
"…Why…why are you telling me this?"
"Because life isn't fair, you moron. It downright sucks but who wallows over it? Your shit? Not that bad. Do you have motherfuckers hunting you down? Rogue idiots kidnapping your one fuckin child that you barely pay attention to?"
"…No." Everyone knew about the two nuke-nin who snatched the Kazekage's sons. When the Kazekage and his wife returned from the desert, the nuke-nin were nowhere to be found.
"No, you don't. You have an ex-wife who's still trying to have you be in your daughter's life. But do you care? Nope! You're hung up on a relationship you ruined. I'm trying my very best to get you some help but you're fighting me at every turn. When I say I can do worse than dangling you out of a window, I mean it." She finished it with a snarl, baring her teeth at him.
The office settled into something tense, something Chinatsu certainly had no business being present for. She always believed in helping others but Xin's form of help was a little…abrasive.
"Again, I ask," Xin sighed heavily, losing that nasty edge to her shoulders. "Are you going to cooperate?"
"Please, Genji. I really think you'll benefit. Perhaps I dug too deeply too soon," Chinatsu tried in a more soothing manner. "We can start over but please say you'll try."
Genji's face was hard but only for a second before it crumbled. "You…really think I'm a shit father?"
"I didn't say you were shit at it but you could be better," Xin replied evenly, ignoring Chinatsu's soft sigh. "You could be worse. My dad used to make me and my sister fight as soon as we turned three years old. It was pretty brutal. Then my younger sister and cousin. Pretty sure we tried to kill each other a couple times. All under his supervision. We're good now though."
"Milady…."
"Okay. I'll try. Just please don't throw me out of a window next time."
"Punching you in the eye is still a valid consequence."
"Understood."
"Great! Now please get out."
Chinatsu remained in place when Genji fled. She was at a loss. She liked Xin and she knew all about her abrasive side but she still felt that the whole debacle was uncalled for. She was older, maybe that's why she wanted to scold her but she knew better. Xin was, after all, her boss and she clearly was not afraid to use violence if pushed enough.
She eyed the younger woman, watching as the annoyance completely drained from her face. She sighed softly and rested her face in her hands, mumbling to herself.
"…You care about him, don't you?"
"….Excuse me?"
Chinatsu smiled softly. Xin wasn't all that hard to understand, not if one looked in all the right places. She was scary, obviously and clearly insane but she did care. Maybe she had a twisted way of showing it but Xin did care.
"Chinatsu, please. I'm not some sap like you. That motherfucker has the potential to be a danger. I'm trying to fix that without killing him and traumatizing his kid."
"Because you care."
"I can toss you out the window next."
Chinatsu caught up to Genji rather quickly. Honestly, she probably shouldn't be talking to him outside of therapy but she felt the need, just this once. Xin wasn't a bad person at heart. Insane, definitely. A little unreasonable. Yes. But the young woman wasn't bad. That wasn't to say hanging him out of the window was necessary because it so wasn't.
She cared for Genji, despite her protests. Maybe she didn't care for him like she did Jura or Sasori but there was something there. Maybe she only cared about him for Momoka and Asuna's sake but there was no denying it. Did she go about it in the right way? Well, she personally didn't agree to Xin's ways but there was no denying that she got shit done.
"Genji!" She waved him down, ducking around several villagers who were still peering up at the window he'd just been hanging out of. "Wait for a moment."
He turned and waited for her, clearly confused. "I promise, Chinatsu-san, I'm going to try."
"No, no. I believe you. Erm…I don't think you're a shit father and I don't think Xin-sama does either."
"Well, I suppose compared to her father, I'm not."
Chinatsu snorted but tried to hide it with a cough. There was a reason Xin advocated so hard for this, so hard to make it okay to talk about mental health. She was very upfront with not only the staff but Suna in general that she considered herself a nutcase because of built up trauma.
And she didn't want that for Genji. She didn't want it for anyone. Because honestly, only a person who was so unhinged would be okay with dangling a defenseless person out of a window. Only a person who's used to doing much worse would be completely okay with that.
"She's only pushing so hard because she cares for you," Chinatsu said quickly. "I know how it sounds given what she just did but believe me! I really hope you'll make an honest effort. There's nothing wrong with needing help. Sometimes…all it takes is a listening ear."
He supposed that was true. It sounded nice. Too nice, really. But clearly it was time to stop being stubborn. Maybe he'd been rebelling these past few weeks but if Xin was going to toss him out of a window, it was better to just fall in line.
"A listening ear, right."
Maybe she was right.
TeeBeMe: Best way to describe Xin: Fuck around and find out. Lol anyway, I wrote this whole chapter and decided it didn't fit at the moment so then I rewrote it into this. But as I was editing, I had this strange feeling. I had to reread the chapter over and over again before I figured it out.
Xin didn't actually miscarry on her birthday, it was actually two days before I think? But I realized this when I already finished the chapter and I was not rewriting it again so then I was like maybe they won't notice? Then I was like no they're definitely going to notice. Someone always does. So we're just gonna ignore that tiny blip, okay. Don't come for me. I tried to rework some of the sentences so that neither Gaara nor Xin actually state that the miscarriage occurred on her actual birthday. It's just what Gaara chose since it was so significant.
And poor Genji. I know I wrote him as a character with no backbone but after dealing with Xin for so long, poor thing is burnt out. Maybe Chinatsu will help. Will she important? I don't know, how yall feel about her?
Anyway, Happy Holidays everyone! Can't wait to see what 2022 has planned!!