This fic was written in front of a live audience. Literally in a thread at the 118 discord over the course of a day.
This story is fluffy smutty crack.
Warnings include, but are not limited to: Pov of a horrible woman with all the phobics, including fatphobia and kink shaming, among others.
Kinks featured include, but are not limited to: Cross-dressing, BBW, femdom, D/s, human furniture, foot fetish, Puppy/pet play, Japanese rope bondage, Sex positivity, Vague reference to Cannibalism (Non-explicit, Hannibal reference, no one is actually a cannibal)
5 Supposedly Bad Dates +1 Where the Villian Failed to Monologue
She had waited years to get back at Evan Buckley, and now she finally had the chance. She thought she'd meant something to him, that she was special. Then he'd ghosted her. At first she'd actually been worried for the bastard. Then she'd finally managed to track him down, and he was with another woman. He acted like he didn't even know her. Maybe she could have forgiven him, if she'd been abandoned for a sex bomb, but no this woman, Maddie, was a total frump, and clearly they had no sexual chemistry.
The whole thing was just adding serious insult to severe injury.
She didn't let thoughts of him rule her life, but, whenever she was down, she'd let thoughts of getting back at him cheer her up, and now, well now she'd have her revenge. Because one Evan 'Buck' Buckley had just signed up for the dating app her company ran, and she had complete access to his account. She was about to send him on the worst dates of his life.
The first thing she did was begin cultivating a list. There were some real freaks using their app, and she was about to personally match Evan with the cream of the crop. She began narrowing down the list, and then after careful consideration, chose the first contender.
She swapped out the photos Evan would see, and honestly most of this guy's profile. Buck had himself listed as Bisexual, but this was definitely not what he would be expecting. Jerome was being encouraged to 'Just be himself', while Buck was expecting a sweet little metrosexual twink. She carefully edited each back and forth between the two, and then decided to set up a very public first meeting. She had every intention of getting this meeting on film, for posterity, or YouTube, whichever.
It was easy to keep out of sight, in the very crowded coffee house she'd set this first meeting at. Evan arrived, looking as handsome as ever, the bastard, and quickly ordered a drink, then found a table. He was obviously scanning the room, and the entrance for his date, not that it would do him much good. He clearly hadn't clocked Jerome, although how he had missed the freak show she'd never know, but she wanted to cackle when she heard the man's deep voice asking "Evan?"
She waited with glee for the freak out, the screaming and the public embarrassment. Instead Evan stood up, shook Jerome's hand and they both sat down and started talking. What the Hell?
The freak was built like a linebacker, wearing combat boots and a lurid yellow and pink dress, and he had a mohawk. Why was Evan just calmly chatting with him? Didn't he see how ridiculous it made him look?
They just sat there talking for almost half an hour. Both of them clearly finished their drinks, and was Evan patting his hand?
The two of them suddenly stood up and she had camera ready. Surely something was going to happen. If she was lucky the freak would deck him.
Instead the two of them rushed off towards the bathrooms, and didn't come back for twenty minutes. She squinted, they both looked kind of rumpled, and there was a stain on that hideous dress that she was sure hadn't been there before. Had they been fighting? No, they seemed way too friendly.
Evan took out his phone and the pair obviously exchanged numbers before they left, with a handshake and smiles. She wanted to jump up and down and scream. Clearly she needed to up her game, maybe pick a real sicko for the next one.
Buck didn't expect much from meeting Jerome. He came across as sweet in his messages, but a little too bland. Still, not everyone sparkled over a chat window, and he'd been very eager to meet up. Buck made sure to arrive early and kept an eye out, trying to match up a real person with his pictures.
When the deep voice said his name, his stomach swooped with a wave of heat. He stood and turned to meet the man. Bland was the absolute last word to describe Jerome, both in personality and style; don't get him started on how the cut of that dress accentuated the man's rippling pectorals. And those arms? Yes, please.
They got to chatting about their workout routines, and how much they could each lift. Then Jerome offered to demonstrate just how much he could lift, in the coffee shop men's room. He was behind a locked door passing off a packet of lube and a condom less than two minutes later.
Thirty seconds after that his pants were off and he was bent over the sink being opened up on two thick hot fingers and loving every second of it. Jerome had absolutely not exaggerated how much he could lift as demonstrated by first railing him over the counter, and then pulling out and pinning Buck against the wall and just holding him there for a ridiculously long, hard time. He felt bad about staining the dress, but he promised to replace it when they traded numbers.
The next contestant in her revenge game, claimed to be a hardcore dominatrix. As if. This girl was, like a total cow. She didn't want to set up a public meeting for this one, but it took some real convincing to get Henrietta Hippo to agree to meeting at his house. 'Evan' had told her just how naughty he'd been, and how much he needed to be taught a lesson. She finally agreed. The heifer was probably so hard up for any guy to pay her attention, really she was doing her a favor.
Evan thought he was having an easy getting to know you dinner with a shy bookish type. Honestly she'd just googled sexy librarian for the profile pic this time. She was going to be waiting outside to see how fast Evan ran out his own front door. This should be fun.
Date night rolled around and the stupid little cow showed up in a coat. It's SoCal, like, why in God's name would she be wearing a trench-coat? She catches a glimpse of him smiling as he lets her in. Really? She stood just down the hallway from his door, waiting. She didn't expect this to take longer than two or three minutes, before he threw her out, or went running himself.
Okay, so it was taking him a little longer to get rid of her, maybe she sat on him or something, whatever, someone would be rushing out any minute. She jerked awake, to see the back of that coat heading for the stairs, and quickly checked her phone to realize it had been three and a half hours.
She stomped over to the elevator, fuming she'd missed whatever show there'd been to see, when he finally sent her packing. She needed to find someone completely out there for the next one.
Evan was a little worried about this date. Missy had seemed super sweet. He just didn't know why any girl, or guy, in this day and age would agree to do a first meeting in private, but she explained she was a bit agoraphobic. He couldn't help, but feel for her, if that was the case. Trying to date while surrounded by L.A. crowds when you hate people and open spaces. He had Maddie on speed dial, just in case he was wrong, but he was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
She showed up at his door in a long trench coat, and he was a little confused by it at first. "Hi, Missy, It's good to meet you in per-"
"I thought I told you to call me, Miss."
He turned to face her and froze, seeing the outfit she'd clearly warn the trench coat to conceal, and lost the ability to vocalize for several seconds, to the drool and the nearly swallowing his own tongue.
She had on a tight corset that supported the most perfect breasts he'd ever seen with cleavage that just didn't quit. Her skirt hugged all the curves, and she was wearing stockings and a garter garter belt, along with a pair of platform boots that did wonderful things for her legs.
There was a line of skin, between the bottom of the skirt and the top of the garter and he just wanted to lick it. He valiantly pulled his eyes back up to meet hers, instead of tracing all the lovely bits like a creeper, but got sidetracked by the dark red lips smirking at him, before he made it as far as her eyes.
He finally managed to speak, "Uh, yeah uh, sorry Miss. I swear I thought it said Missy, I must have misread it or something, sorry for the mistake." He said, trying to get his brain to function like a normal person.
The smirk widened into a grin. "That's alright, Evan, mistakes happen, and one just has to take their punishment and move on, isn't that right?"
His eyes blew wide open, "Uh, yes?" He said and gulped.
He wouldn't quite be able to remember stripping, so fast he nearly face planted, down to just his briefs, but every detail of her directing him, correcting his posture, and getting him into position, and then the twenty minutes of his 'punishment' were he silently knelt in front of her, acting as a foot stool for those long, long legs was etched into his brain.
The tantalizing glimpses as she would cross her legs, or shift. Each stolen peak, caught and punished with a swat from the riding crop she'd had concealed in the coat.
"Footstools don't steal peaks they haven't earned."
"Yes, Miss."
"Footstools are also silent."
He nodded enthusiastically.
"They are also still."
He froze, and tried not to catch another glimpse.
"Much better."
His reward for the twenty minutes of exquisite stillness was three hours of worshiping every stunning bit of her... with his tongue. The praises for his hard work dripped like honey, and he basked in every second of it. When their night was over, they exchanged numbers.
"I really hope we can do this again sometime," He said as he kissed her on the cheek. "I don't know if I've ever been this relaxed." He held up her coat to help her into it, saw her to the door.
A satisfied, and sexed out, smile on his face he floated through straightening up the kitchen, and putting away the dinner they never got around to eating. "Man, that new app must have a really good algorithm." He muttered to himself, before dropping off into the best sleep he could remember having.
She was sure the first two had been horrible dates, but somehow she'd missed all the drama, and that was most of the fun. I mean yeah, knowing she'd been getting revenge was good, but she wanted more. This next guy was into some freaky shit. Like the idea of it made her want to gag.
It was perfect.
She didn't have to change out the pictures this time. The dude might be into some weird shit, but he wasn't hard on the eyes. She obviously needed to alter the profile Evan saw, and tweaked Even's profile pic, by cropping it suggestively.
She wanted this one to work out at least to a point. After all you can't gross someone out with the nasty things someone's into if they don't get that far. She played both sides, arranging a meet up in a park, and a nice walk. This guy was way too excited that Evan would be coming off shift.
She was able to keep a better eye on this one, and they seemed to be doing okay. She could only assume when they left together that Evan was about to have a really gross night. Still, this was one she probably wouldn't get a satisfactory public result. She'd just have to cling to the knowledge of how disgusted he was going to be soon, and figure out something more public for the next time.
Buck had a short shift, so meeting Miguel for a walk in the park sounded nice. He was classically tall, dark and handsome, and very sweetly concerned about Buck.
"Are you still in your work shoes, and now walking with me? Your feet must be so sore."
"Yeah, I mean kind of. We had some down time, but I know I've been on my feet for at least half the day." Buck said, after stopping to think about it.
"I'll tell you what, why don't we get you off those tootsies. I live just a couple blocks that way." He pointed behind them. "We can have a drink and do something with those feet."
Buck thought about it for a minute or two and then agreed. A couple blocks was actually nearly five, and by the time they'd climbed the stairs to Miguel's place his feet actually were aching.
He quickly offered Buck a bottle of cold water and then gave him a quick kiss, before pushing him back into a recliner, and pulled the level to raise the footstool. Buck had a stray reminder of Miss, that raised a blush to his cheeks, but quickly pushed it aside to the person he was with now.
Miguel filled a small basin with warm water, then grabbed soap, a washcloth, some towels and a small bottle of what looked like very expensive lotion, and settled himself on the floor in front of Buck.
He started with Buck's right boot. He dropped a teasing kiss on the top of his foot, before reverently unlacing the boot; slowly tugging each lace until the shoe was loose enough to be slipped off. He rolled off the sock, and tucked it in the boot, before wetting the washcloth and lathering it up. He washed from where the top of the boot had sat, and worked his way down to Buck's toes, gently working the cloth between each one to make sure they were clean.
Buck giggled a little at the incidental tickling from being washed so gently. Miguel repeated the process on the other foot, before rinsing them both, and drying them with one of the towels.
Buck just realized how hard Miguel was in his pants when he leaned over one foot and quietly asked, "May I?"
Buck nodded, not sure what to expect.
Miguel began working each foot, massaging with his talented fingers, and then sucking and licking parts Buck hadn't ever had licked before. He was a bit too ticklish to get into that part of it, honestly, but the damp bulge in Miguel's pants spoke to his enjoyment. The massage part, however, was fucking incredible. Those strong hands working out all the stress points of his feet.
When Miguel finished with the right foot Buck arched it, stretching. Miguel seemed mesmerized at the sight, before he remembered to breath and began working on Buck's left foot. When Miguel had finished repeating the process on the left, Buck arched that one as well, and grinned in satisfaction as Miguel very obviously just barely staved off cumming in his pants. His face was flushed as he gently worked some of the lotion onto both feet.
Once he was done, Buck lowered the footstool, stood up and pulled him into a soft kiss, and thanked him, before spinning him around and pushed Miguel into the seat he'd just vacated, and raised the footrest. Miguel could only sit stunned as Buck rinsed out the washcloth and basin, refilled it with hot water and settled himself on the floor at Miguel's feet. Buck didn't quite get into toe sucking, but he did give what he hoped was a respectably decent massage, and put the same lotion on Miguel's feet.
After a quick check of the bottle to ensure it was safe, he also used the lotion to massage another part of Miguel's body, leading to a very happy ending.
She liked the whole park scenario. It gave her a good opportunity to to spy without being obvious. It also luckily fit with her plans, once she decided on his next oh so perfect match. Again, there was some tweaking of profiles, but the pictures were both fine, although she hid a few of hers, because those ears were a dead giveaway. Their messages were even easier since most of it seemed like she was being super cute, instead of batshit crazy.
Evan thought it was another public meet up, in yet another park. She settled in well ahead of time, but there were a lot of people around and she didn't want to get too close. She had her camera ready and watched their meeting. She noticed how red he was. Ha! Finally some kind of sign of success. She snapped a pic and her phone made a shutter click sound, which seemed to annoy the rather large monster of a dog that had been playing off to once side. Before she could get any more good shots the damned thing had bowled her over. By the time she'd recovered and finished screeching at the hideous beast's owner, Buck and the crazy chick had clearly left.
Buck talked back and forth with Dot for a week or so, before they agreed to a meet-up. She picked a park pretty close to Buck's apartment, and they set a date and time to meet. When he got to the park, he was slightly confused, since it wasn't actually a people park, but then again he hadn't known that, so maybe she hadn't either. When he finally saw her, it became a lot more clear.
She was wearing a wide black collar, complete with a dangling tag with her name on it. She had floppy black ears, that were soft and furry, and he blushed when he realized he wanted to pet them. There was a was a black tail that seemed to be poking out from under her pink skirt. She had a bag over one arm, and looked very nervous, standing a few feet into the dog park.
He caught her attention and then smiled at her, charmingly "I'm love the daisy in your hair," He indicated the yellow flower, clipped to one ear, "It's super cute, just like you."
She smiled at him and then frowned at how crowded the place was. There was some crazy lady yelling and screaming across the way, and it was all just a little too much.
"Do you, maybe want to go somewhere else? I didn't expect it to be this busy." She asked one hand tapping nervously at her name tag, not quite meeting his eye, almost if she was waiting for him to laugh.
"Yeah, I'd love to. If you'd feel safe, I don't live too far away, You can text the address and even my picture to a friend, since this is the first time we're meeting."
She smiled, relieved, and they headed to his place, where she did text his name, the address, a picture of the building and one of him, to her brothers, before following him up to his apartment. They talked for a little while and shared a cup of coffee. She finally felt relaxed enough to open the bag she'd been carrying. She pulled out a rubber bone and squeezed it, until it squeaked.
"I meant for this to be more of a play date." she said, shyly.
"I love dogs!" Buck said, and then pinked up again, "I mean, that is, if you, you know identify as dog... Is it like with pronouns, are you more of a cat person, some other-"
She cut him off with a hand over his mouth. "I don't really think of myself as a dog or a cat, but I'm good with the term puppy play. It gets the idea across." She leaned in and kissed him, and he couldn't stop his hand from drifting up to rub one floppy ear between his fingers.
"I also don't mind playing a little dirty. I mean its not like this tail is a clip on." She said before she placed a brightly colored ball in his hand.
He sputtered briefly, processing what she'd just said, before he pulled himself together, squeaked the ball a couple times and then tossed it to the other side of the room and said "Fetch, girl." With an exaggerated leer.
She giggled and then turned and chased after the ball, skirt fluttering briefly as she moved. She brought it back in her mouth, then stopped to pull out a set of knee pads and paw mittens and handing them to him. "Could you help me with these?" She asked, while attaching a tiny bell to her tags, and a leash to the ring on the back of the collar. Once she was properly geared up, she dropped to all fours.
He wrapped the end of the leash around one hand, before dangling the rubber bone over her head, and called "Up girl."
She made a show of rising up, trying and failing to reach it, before grumbling because it was out of reach.
He brought it lower and she caught it in her mouth. "Good girl. Yes, who's a good girl? You are, yes you are." He crooned at her dropping down to one knee to scratch her ears and rub his hand down her back.
After playing like that for a while, working through several pet toys from her bag, she began to move with a much more exaggerated swing to her hip, sending the tail back and forth, playfully.
He caught her eye and raised an eyebrow. She smirked and nodded, before he allowed himself to reach out and run his hand down her flank, over her skirt and end with a stroke down her tail, giving it an ever so slight tug, when he got to the end. She purred and rolled over to lay on her back, batting gently at his hands in a playful manner.
"Aww, Does somebody want tummy rubs?" He was gently rubbing her stomach when she pushed his hand lower with one pawed hand, until he slipped under her skirt and began playing with a whole different pussy. She was wet, and he discovered exactly how the tail was attached. He worked two long fingers inside of her, letting his thumb rub across her clit, while his other hand tugged gently on her tail, where it was nestled between her cheeks. He didn't try to remove it, just pulling and releasing in time with his other hand.
She is right on the edge when he pulls the fingers out and raises them to his mouth, tasting her. He flipped her skirt up entirely and slid down to suck and lick her clit, two fingers sliding back inside. He didn't stop until she'd come three times and was panting. She batted him away with one worn out paw, and he pulled back. He licked his lips, before crawling up to lay beside her on the floor, one hand going back to playing with one furry ear.
She almost felt sorry for him, with the final pick. Almost. She was fairly sure he'd come out of it alright, no matter how questionable the profile was. The pictures had to go before they could scare Evan away, and the recipes, don't even get her started on all the time she'd spent trying to find appropriate substitutions to edit into the messages from Peter. She wasn't even going to try to keep track of this meeting, just on the off chance that Peter actually was dangerous. She didn't really expect him to be, despite the things he was into, but when you rack up karma like Evan clearly had? Well sometimes bad things happened. She wouldn't be crying about it if they did.
Buck was excited for the meet with Peter. He'd developed a real love of cooking, thanks to Bobby, and Peter seemed to be a real foodie. Though he did question some of his choices of meat cuts. Sometimes they just didn't seem like the right choice for the prep.
He was also a photographer, and Buck was excited to see some of his work. The man had gone on and on about the rigging he had set up in his studio. Buck didn't know much about that, but photography was fascinating and he loved learning new things. Peter had promised to show him the ropes.
Buck took a page from Dot's book and sent a picture of Peter and his building to Maddie, along with his details. Peter was, in a word sophisticated. He offered Buck a glass of wine, and took him around the room, showing him different works. Several of the pieces were photographs of exquisitely plated food, almost exclusively featuring rare meats.
He noticed how Buck seemed to appreciate them. "I'm quite proud of those. I call that set the Lecter Series."
"I prefer my meat cooked a little more, but they look just incredible. You're a real artist." Buck raved.
"I think you could be another masterpiece. Maybe a whole series, even."
Buck blushed lightly. "I'm not that photogenic."
"Nonsense, I'd love to shoot you. Come on, let me show you my studio."
"Sure." Buck said following him eagerly.
There were several sturdy wooden frames with eye hooks screwed in at various points, along with lighting rigs, and several different cameras on tripods.
Peter looked at Buck for a moment or two, as if studying him, and then began pulling out a few different bins. He brought two of the bins closer to Buck, before pulling out a loop of rope from either bin and held them up next to Buck's face. He quickly dropped one back in the bin, and shoved it back.
"This is the one, its almost the exact shade of those beautiful eyes."
Buck looked at the rope, curiously, "You know, I think you're right. Cool."
"So here's what I was thinking. Maybe a simple chest harness, over the clothes, see how that goes, and then maybe do some artistic knot work, if I get inspired. How's that sound?"
Buck tilted his head to one side. "I'm not quite sure I get it."
"Oh, I know it's sometimes hard to visualize the final product, I had a book of proofs around here somewhere." He went digging through a few more bins before he pulled out a three ring binder with photograph sleeves. He quickly opened to a particular page and held it up for Buck to see.
Buck immediately felt more than a little stupid. "I do rope rescues on the regular, and I cannot believe I didn't realize you meant rope rigging."
Peter pulled back a little a frown starting to form, before Buck continued pointing to one photo. "This one looks intense, but fun, and if this is your work, you seem to have a knack for it. I'm game."
Peter was slow and meticulous and watching his nimble fingers work the rope was starting to do things for Buck. By the time he'd finished the chest harness, Buck was rock hard, and the additional ropes Peter ran on either side showcasing it didn't help matters.
Instead of being woven into one of the wooden racks, since his legs weren't bound, Peter sat him on a box legs spread, and directed his movements as Peter stepped around him, taking shots from various angles. Satisfied with the pictures he'd taken, Peter sat the camera aside and then crouched next to Buck.
"I'm glad you're enjoying my work. I could help you with that," He gestured toward Buck's hard cock. "if you like. Absolutely no pressure, either way. I can just undo the ropes, or if you're in anyway uncomfortable I can cut you out. I apologize, I jumped us into this without any of the normal preamble for this sort of thing, I honestly was just so excited to shoot you."
Buck looked down to realize he wasn't the only one hard, and made a decision. "How about, we work on helping you out first, and then if I still need the help..." He trailed off, as Peter looked over his position heat in his eyes, as he pushed and pulled until Buck was were he wanted him. Once done, he straddled Buck's lap.
"Why don't we go together?" He asked as he began grinding against him, slowly, hands wrapped in the chest harness to hold him close enough for a slow dirty kiss. They were both already so worked from the slow build that they quickly grew frantic. Buck shuddered to orgasm thirty seconds before Peter. They panted and gasped, and then kissed lazily, before Peter stood up and started slowly untying the blue rope, wrapping as he went. Once he was untied, they traded numbers, so they could arrange other sessions in the future, and Buck made a note to make sure and rate his dating app with like ALL the stars.
Evan was still alive and using the app, mores the pity, and it was now time to arrange a little meeting. She was going to send messages to all the horrible dates she'd sent him on, and invite them to one place at the same time. Then she would show him how wrong he was for ghosting her. Basking in the knowledge that she'd made him suffer, and that he'd know it was all her doing. What better place to meet up than his precious firehouse. Let his coworkers see how low she'd brought him. She was really going to enjoy this.
Buck was having a great few weeks. That app had helped him make more friends since he'd signed up than he'd made, outside of work, in three years. Sure he'd slept with them all, but it wasn't like the Buck 1.0 days. They liked him for more than his body, and when they talked it wasn't just scheduling a booty call.
He'd even introduced some of them to each other. Miss and Jerome had become shopping besties. Peter discovered Miguel was his nephew, who he'd fallen out of touch with like six years ago. Dot just adored being Miss' new pet.
So, things had been going well, to say the least. Which is why Buck was so confused to see everyone standing in the bay of the 118 when the engine returned from a false alarm. He jumped out of the cab the moment it stopped and rushed forward.
"Hey, guys. What's everyone doing here?"
"You didn't message us from the app and ask us to come?" Jerome asked, all of them sharing looks of unease.
"Nope." He said, "Is that what happened with everyone?" They all nodded, and more than a couple looked behind Buck, at the rest of the crew, who were climbing out of the cab and looking on curiously.
"We should go, I think someone is trying to cause you trouble, having us come to your job like this." Miss said looking more self conscious than he ever wanted her to look.
He turned to smile at the rest of his crew. "No one here is going to be upset that some of my friends stop in for a visit, so if that's their grand scheme, then they're morons."
Suddenly a voice spoke up from the loft. "Since that wasn't my plan, I'll have you know, I am certainly not a moron."
"Okay, maybe you aren't, but that doesn't explain why you're messaging people as me. I mean who are you even?"
She growled in frustration and stamped her foot like a child. "I am the person who's finally gotten her revenge on you."
Chim stepped forward and raised his hand. "Okay, first what are you getting revenge for, and second does it involve explosions, cause we have a bad history with both, so I kinda feel the need to clarify."
"Evan Buckley was the cad who made me fall in love with him and then strung me along, ghosting me for months, until I tracked him down and caught him red handed, with that frump, Maddie that he left me for. I waited and watched and finally got my revenge. I sent him on the worst dates imaginable."
Buck who'd been following along, and almost put two and two together, got side tracked by her last comment and frowned, looking at his friends.
"Wait, you guys thought I was the worst date imaginable?"
Before they could deny it, she spoke up again. "No, I picked them out as the worst dates to make you suffer and get my revenge."
"Okay, you are so back to being a moron. I loved every moment I spent with each one of them." Buck said, going from sad to offended on his friends' behalf.
Chim, who'd been side tracked by the idea that the ding-bat in the loft thought his Maddie was a frump, and *yeeach* dating her brother, finally put two and two together. "Wait, I get it!" He snapped his finger and pointed at her. "You're one of those women that got catfished by the dead guy."
"I got what?"
"A few years ago, all these women started popping up saying Buck had led them on, and then just stopped talking to them."
"There you see, a cad! Leading women on like that."
"Yeah, except he didn't do it, I proved that, and then we found out the reason the guy ghosted everyone was because he was a literal ghost. Like we found his body."
"Wait, so my Evan, the one who I fell in love with, didn't abandon me for a frump?"
"No he didn't and for God's sake please stop calling the love of my life a frump, you crazy harridan."
"Oh my poor sweet Evan." She cried out before dramatically running down the stairs and out of the firehouse. "You know that wasn't even his real name- Oh just forget it, good riddance to crazy."
"Speaking of names, did anyone catch hers?" Buck asked, more than a little shocked over the last few minutes.
"Do we really care?" Chim asked.
"Not really." Buck said after thinking about it for a moment. "Anyway, introductions." Buck started, before pointing to each person. "Okay, starting on this side, we have my friends, Miss, Dot, Jerome, Peter and Miguel, and on this side, we have Chim, Cap, or Bobby if you will, Hen, and this is my best friend Eddie."
Everyone of his new friends turned to look at Eddie, with interest. Eddie for his part was taking note of the width and breath of Buck's taste in partners. "You know, Buck, I'm starting to feel like there is a benefit or two I haven't been given the option for, as your best friend."
Buck's eyes went wide, his cheeks red, and he quickly snatched up Eddie's hand to drag him off to discuss the various benefits plans, barely hearing Bobby yelling for them to "Clock out first, for the love of God!"