You blink, finding words almost impossible at this moment. This was not what you expected, far from it. Each night leading up to this one, had been the same. The pattern had always been the same, Percival had never deviated from a simple note. He would always wordlessly walk past your desk, offering a simple nod in your direction then exit through the door. So why had he altered the formula? You had many questions, ready to tumble over the edge but where would you begin?
Oh but of course. You quickly gathered together those renegade thoughts, tucking them to one side. Smiling softly at him, you offered back his simple greeting with one of your own.
"Good evening Mr Graves" It was best to start small, to break the ice and start a dialogue going, hoping that it would flow into a conversation and allow you finally to break through and overcome the many hurdles that you didn't hesitate to believe would lie on the path ahead. This was still a start, regardless of how stilted it felt much like any awkward interaction with one's boss would be.
Without a second thought, you pushed yourself up and out of the desk chair. Your gaze only momentarily breaks away from him, as you rise up. "It's getting late, i should be heading home" You said, knowing that this small moment would likely be over soon, even if you dared to hope that he would impart a pleasant greeting your way.
You waited with bated breath for his reply to come, but none did verbally. The wizard before you simply nodded his head before striding past your desk, heading for the exit. Just like that, the moment was over. If you had blinked, then truly you would have missed it. He was gone, leaving you standing there. If you had less decorum, then clearly your mouth would have gaped open, leaving you looking like a stunned fish. However that was simply not the case.
Still you found yourself staring off in the direction he had gone. Strange for this had not how you had envisioned things beginning but it was still a start. Then again, no two lifetimes were the same. He would always keep you guessing. The very thought made you lightly chuckle, it was definitely an amusing one. You swiftly gathered up your belongings and followed suit, heading out of the department
In the days that followed, you found this new behaviour being repeated at the end of the work day. Each night, your heart was firmly in your throat as he threw another pleasant greeting your way. Your head was spinning upon its axis, as you wondered what this meant with each night's small interaction.
Was this a way in? Had it caused his guard to drop a crack to let you see the man behind the blank, cold mask he wore? All you had were more questions than answers. If you were being honest, it didn't make sense in the slightest. Why now? Why had he chosen this particular moment in time to let you inch closer. Or was it simply that he didn't want to try and train another secretary to his impossibly high standards.
With that sudden realization, your shoulders sunk as the reality of the situation hit you. It felt as if a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown over you, weighing you down, dragging you out of your fantastical thoughts. You had simply passed the test, survived the rigorous process that Mr Graves put all his previous receptionists through. You were the ideal candidate in his eyes. He was just treating you like any other employee.
You were just a cog in the wheel to him, nothing more. You averted your gaze down to the floor, clutching the strap of your bag just a little tighter as you rushed towards the exit hoping that the tears would not cascade until you were closer to home. Until that door slammed behind you, then and only then would you let sorrow win for this night and this night alone. Never noticing the two pairs of eyes watching as you crossed through the threshold in the cold night air. One worried and concerned, the other curious, wanting to understand why a little better.
Tomorrow was always another day, another chance to find the answers, for comfort and friendship. For tomorrow was the start of something more one way or another.
The night air bit away as you stood there, outside your own front door shivering. The temperature had not bothered you until you stopped, you had been blindly focused on getting away from the senate building. You needed to escape, to run away and simply be alone. As the truth in your eyes set in, it was a hard pill to swallow.
This was not a situation that you hadn't faced before, it still hurt. No matter how many times you encountered this. He guarded his heart fiercely, protected himself from the world fearing the pain, the suffering that came with letting someone in, allowing them to get close and truly see the man.
You couldn't help but grow curious at what had caused this. What had caused him to harden his heart and block out the world. Forever holding all at arms lengths, form boundaries and never let anyone cross into no man's land. You had witnessed him in the office, Percival held professional relationships with the aurors but they were staff, tools to be used to protect the wizarding population at large. Some had tried to edge closer, but he always pushed back.
He was closer to Madam President Picquery but she was his boss. You couldn't help but smile at the woman fighting for the future of her people. She cared and that warmed your heart. She too had tried to get in, you watched her attempt to open lines and dance the delicate line between colleague and friend, maybe more but he never reciprocated. If he had, then you would have faded into the background, watching as his happiness grew and blossomed but that hadn't been the case.
Tina Goldstein had gotten closer than most, he seemed to relax his guard when she was around. Queenie had always ragged on about her sister, the career girl, glowing with pride as the words fell from her lips. You had longed for that. Then again, you were the same as him. You had let a Goldstein sister in, much like he had. The golden haired minx who was always smiling. She was your friend, maybe over time, she would become your family. Maybe, only time would tell.
There was a wall wrapped around your heart. Your heart had taken many batterings over your unnatural lifetime. You had scars for the war that had raged over the cycle of loving and losing him. It was hard to bear at times, you suffered but carried on knowing that you would always find him again. Hope was a hard emotion to cling onto, it built you up but it could also cut you down. Hope was a cruel mistress if luck was not on your side.