"I'm telling you Amanda, the weekend rapist is alive." Immediately, after Olivia hung up the phone with Barba's voicemail, she packed. She left his home in a taxi, dropped off her bags at her apartment, called Lucy to check on Noah, and headed for the precinct. She had been working for the past 8 hours, and was now sitting with Amanda in the breakroom.

"I don't think so. He was smart, and he knew it, we didn't question him, he was arrogant, if he were alive why wouldn't he just keep rapeing?. No one has come forward, we need to let it go for now, and deal with the cases we have."

"So you don't think he's dead, you just don't want to deal with him. Amanda, I know you're preoccupied with your wedding, you're excited about your marriage, but when you're here, I need you to work. "

"What are you doing here Liv? Shouldn't you be recuperating?"

"She should be, but she's too busy avoiding me." Rafael Barba said, before Olivia could answer the question. He was standing in the doorway.

"Amanda, if I have to recuperate for another second, I'm going to jump out of my skin!" Olivia said. She hated when Rafa was truly angry at her. Amanda smiled in Barba's direction.

"May I have a word with you?" Rafael asked, stepping into the breakroom, and walking to Olivia.I In response to his question, she rose from her seat, and started walking toward the door.

"Ok." She replied. Rafael followed her, and he quickly found himself walking out of the breakroom beside her. "Let's go outside." Olivia said.. Rafael Barba followed Olivia Benson out of the building, and into the cold. He would follow her anywhere.

"You just left." He said, disappointment, and sadness in his voice.

"No, I called you first. I didn't want you to worry."

"Too late." He saw her shiver. He immediately took off his coat, and draped it over her shoulders.

"I'm sorry." She said sincerely.

"That's it."

"What do you want, Rafa?"

"I wanted to have a conversation. We should have had a conversation before you picked up and left."

"I had to go!"

"Since when? When did you make this decision,Liv?" He waited for an answer, but she was silent, so he continued. "You had to leave when there's a maniac gunning for you?" He yelled.

"I had to get back to my life. I had to get back to normal."

"How's that working for you?"

"Did you expect me to stay in your apartment forever? I had to go."

"If I didn't come here, were you ever going to talk to me again?"

"Yes. Rafa, why would you ask me that?"

"I don't know, because when you were dating The Good Doctor, you didn't talk to me for 6 months." He replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and hurt.

"I'm sorry, Rafa. I just... I didn't want you to see what was going on."

"How did that work for you?" He saw a single tear run down his friend's cheek. He felt sick about it. "You're always welcome in my home, Liv."

"I just had to leave. Rafa. I can't explain why... Not now. I have to get back to work."

"Paul Gibson was found guilty."

"Good, it was a tough case, but I knew you could get a guilty verdict."

"That's why I wasn't home when you woke up this morning. Did my mother take good care of you?"

"Yes." Olivia whispered, she didn't want to talk about Lucia at the moment. She wanted to apologize for kissing him, but as she looked at him. she couldn't find the right words. Insted, she asked a question. "Since the Gibson trial is over, can I talk to Amber about her situation?"

"Yes, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Good... thank-you. I have to get back to work." Before Rafael could say another word, Olivia turned, and walked back into the station. When she ran back out to give him back his coast , he was gone. She put the coat on, grateful for the warmth it provided, because of its owner, it smelled of him, and she never wanted to take it off.

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December, 23

Olivia and Rafael sat side by side at Amanda and Sonny's wedding reception in an awkward, and painful silence. All the people around them wanted to escape the agony that they were witnessing. Luckily, Noah was at the kid's table with Jesse, and Carisi's mother was entertaining them.

"Why are you 2 not talking to each other?" Roberto asked, concerned. He was sitting next to his girlfriend, Lucy, and across from a devastated, Rafael Barba.

"It's none of our business." Lucy said, to her boyfriend loudly. "Let's go." She jumped up from her seat, Roberto fellowed.. Lucy took his hand, and tugged him along in the direction of the bride, and groom. On the way, they saw Fin by the sound system. "Fin." Lucy yelled over the music.

"Lucy! Roberto, my man, good to see you."

"What are you doing here?" Roberto asked, loudly.

"Right by the music? Sonny and Amanda wanted to DJ their own wedding, so that's what they're doing. I'm the MC. so they can get up, and dance. It's a wedding gift." Fin answered. He saw the young couple nod, and smile.

"Hey guys!" Amanda called, enthusiastically. She gave them a bright smile when she saw them moving toward her. and her husband of 2 hours.

"Congratulations!" Lucy and Roberto said in unison.

Sonny, and Amanda laughed, and thanked them in unison.

"Come here." Amanda ordered the younger couple. They stepped closer to the newlyweds. "How are they doing?"

"They're miserable." Roberto answered, sadly.

"Are they talking yet?" Sonny asked, hopefully.

"No", Lucy answered.

"I'm so mad at them for not technically being here together." Amanda said.

"You can't force them to be together." Sonny replied. .

"Like hell I can't,'' Amanda answered, placing a quick kiss on her husband's lips before turning her attention back to Lucy and Roberto.

"At least they didn't bring dates, and they're sitting together." Roberto said. "This is so sad."

"It won't be sad for long." Amanda replied. "We planned a cool wedding to celebrate our love! I ended up telling my bridesmaids to wear any dress they wanted, as long as I approved it."

"Liv's dress is so pretty. She's so beautiful." Lucy said.

"I know." Amanda replied. "She's not a bridesmaid. She's The Maid Of Honor."

"I had to let my brother- in-law be my best man at the last minute. The Best Man in my heart is Barba." Sonny said.

"Is your brother-in-law a faithful guy? If he hit on Liv, I don't think Rafael could handle it at the moment." Roberto added to the conversation.

"He can, he 's very protective of her though." Fin yelled at them over the music.

"And she of him." Amanda, pointed out.

"They go great together." Fin yelled. "They're like music and lyrics."

Sonny laghed, and said "Like movies, and popcorn.

"Like Peanut butter and Jelly,. Like Peanut butter and chocolate." They all laughed.

"What are you planning?" Sonny asked his wife.

"They need to talk." Amanda answered. "We need to keep the music going, and get them on the dance floor."

"Ok", Fin yelled. "As long as we don't have to play that country mess, you call music, Amanda."

"Hey it's some of the most romantic music out there. Country music is soulful."

"Then force Sonny to dance to it. Fin replied.

We're playing some country music." Amanda answered with a cute knowing smile.

"When I came in to work this morning, I caught Liv crying." Lucy informed them.

"Really?" Sonny asked, surprised,

"Olivia Benson was crying?" Fin yelled.

"It's not something I ever want to see again." Lucy replied.

"Rafael looks like he hasn't slept in weeks." Roberto added.

"He hasn't, Sonny and Amanda said in unison.

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Rafael broke the silence. "You look beautiful, Liv." She was breathtaking as always. She wore a long, deep red, velvet dress with thick spaghetti straps. It had silver studs all over it.

"Thank-you." She replied without looking at him. "You look very handsome."

"How have you been?"

"Good."

"Noah seems to be having a blast."

"Yeah... well he always has a blast with Jesse." You look very handsome."

"I do? How would you know? You haven't looked at me."

"Rafa." She said, turning to see the man she had been avoiding. She couldn't help, but look into his intense green eyes. He was so handsome, he would look even better if he was well rested. Looking that good should be illegal. Olivia thought to herself.

"That's better." Rafael said when he saw her looking at him. He now had a better view of her. "You look beautiful. Liv. He repeated,

"Thank-you Rafa. You look so handsome." He saw her smile for a second before she stopped.

"Liv, can I get another smile from you." Rafael asked, giving her a smile of his own.

Olivia laughed out loud. "You do realize that I would punch anyone else who asked me that. Right?"

"I know, and you would scream at them, but I'm not everyone else."

Olivia smiled, and replied. "No, you're not, Rafael Barba." Rafael smiled back. "Liv, this is ridiculous. You're my best friend, we haven't spoken in weeks."

"I know." She began to speak rapidly. "I'm sorry that I kissed you. I know it made you uncomfortable, and you don't want to talk about it."

"Liv, it's ok, you were emotional, you didn't mean to kiss me, but it didn't make me uncomfortable."

"Rafa I did mean it, but I understand you don't want what I do. I meant to kiss you,but I shouldn't have acted on it. I'm sorry, please let's just go back to normal."

"We're already there Liv."

"Thank-you!" She replied, relief washing over her features.

"Is that why you didn't talk to me? You thought I would turn on you?"

"I was scared."

"I have always tried to be understanding of you, even when I disagree with you. I try to understand where you're coming from. You have been through a lot. I know you're in love with Dr. Taylor. You were just reaching out for comfort, I didn't take advantage of that, but Liv, it was difficult. You're breathtaking." Shut up, Rafael, he thought to himself as words kept rushing out. He missed her so much, he just wanted her back however he could have her. "I just don't want you to ever feel undesirable, or unwanted. Don't hate me."

"Rafa, I'm not in love with Dr. Taylor!"

"You were before you realized he was dangerous. Be honest with yourself, Liv. You didn't want to kiss me."

"I did Rafa. I have for a very, very long time. I haven't dated in ages, and I'm so bad at relationships. Dr. Taylor caught me at a weak moment. I was lonely. I told you before, I wanted so much to feel like a woman again, not just a mom. I turned Dr, Taylor's head, and he kept looking,"

"I know, I know." Rafael replied, his voice full of sadness, he hated talking about how Dr. Taylor gave her what she needed. He hated that his best friend sought out validation from that sick doctor. He would keep talking about The Sick Doctor as long as Olivia needed him to.

"I was so lonely, I wanted to make a relationship work for once." Olivia said.

"Why him, Liv, if you're not in love with him?" In love with him, these words made him sick. Rafael loved her, and knew how to treat her, and love her greatly.

"I was so lonely, and he was... safe. I didn't work with him or have any other conflict of interests with him. I thought the fact that he was temporarily acting as Noah's doctor was an advantage.I thought he liked kids, and could be a good role model for Noah. I thought Dr. Lee went on a quick honeymoon, and she would be right back."

"How did you expect a relationship to work with him if you didn't care about him.?

He asked, reality sinking in..

Well, I didn't want him dead."

"Liv, don't play dumb. You know what I mean."

"That makes it easier. Doesn't it? If you don't care that much. you can't get hurt. You can't screw up."

It;s such a good idea to have a relationship with a person you don't care about. What was your goal Liv? A loveless marriage!"

I wasn't going to marry him, but I did start to think that Noah would be better off with 2 parents!"

"I hear what you're saying. You're a brilliant woman with a stupied idea."

"You think it;s stupid for Noah to have 2 parents.?"

"No, no, The Good Doctor is a bad choice."

"You don't have to tell me that."

"Good." Rafael replied. After a few seconds of silence he added. "He's the wrong choice."

"I know, Rafa " After a short pause , she spoke again. "If I'm so breathtaking, why didn't you kiss me back?"

Rafael sighed, loudly. "I wanted to Liv. Very badly. I told you, I wasn't going to take advantage of you. What's the real reason. you didn't talk to me for 6 months outside of work?"

You're smart, too smart. I told you, I didn't want you to see what was going on with Dr, Taylor. I was embarrassed."

"Liv, what's the whole story?"

"I feel like I'm on the stand being cross examined Counselor. Rafael's green eyes were glued to her. She sighed "Months ago, you came over, I was so tired."

"You spent weeks sleeping beside Noah in a chair." He said gently.

"You covered me with a blanket, as I was falling asleep, I..."

"You said, I love you."" Rafael finished the sentence for her." He gave her his half smile. He found himself suddenly on cloud 9. "Liv, I love you so much."

"Please, don't say that. I can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere!" He exclaimed, he needed his words to sink in to her.

"I'm terrible at relationships Rafa, and you're my favorite person, I can't mess things up with you."

"You asked me if I expected you to stay in my apartment forever. Subconsciously., I realize , I thought you would stay with me forever, and beyond. I have loved you since the moment I heard your voice, and I got so used to having you around at all you left I haven't been sleeping, I've been miserable without you. You left when you did, because you were scared, I get that. You don't have to be afraid of me. I would never knowingly hurt you Liv, and if I did hurt you accidently, I would spend every moment making it up to you." Rafael saw tears in his best friend's brown eyes.

"Wow, sometimes it amazes me just how good you are with words." Olivia said.

"I'm speaking the truth Liv, I should have told you all this a long time ago. I haven't been good in relationships in the past ethier, but I am good with you, and I'll do my best with you everyday."For just a moment, don't think about me or the kind of father you think you should want for Noah. Think about yourself. What do you want?"

"I... I... I want to be with you. Rafa, the only thing I regretted about kissing you was the thought that you didn't want me to kiss you, and you didn't want to kiss me back."

"Liv, that's loca..We're a great team, we'll make this work. I'm crazy about Noah."

"I know Rafa." Olivia let out a laugh. "I'm sure of everything you said. I trust you. You love my son, we're an amazing team, and I... I love you so deeply. Rafael rose from his chair. "Dance with me? He requested.

"I would love to dance with you, you have no idea how much." Olivia answered, rising from her seat, seconds later her hand was in his, and they headed for the dance floor,

Rafael and Olivia got into slow dance positions. It was silent for a few seconds. The song was in the process of changing, and when it did, Rafael smiled. He held his best friend securly, yet gently, Olivia had never felt as safe as she did in this moment. The way he held her was perfect, and better than she ever imagined or dreamed of.

As they danced together for the first time as a couple, Rafael Barba sang every lyric of When A Man Loves A Woman, very slowly. He did the same for the next song that came on. It was Only You by the Platters. "Only you can make this world seem right. Only you can make the darkness bright. Only you, and you alone, can thrill me like you do, and fill my heart with love for only you. Only you can make this change in me, for it's true, you are my disney. When you hold my hand, I understand the magic that you do. You're my dream come true, my one, and only you."

When the music changed to country several minutes later, Rafael stopped singing. "What's the matter Rafa? You don't do country songs?" Olivia asked. Her voice was soft and content.

Rafael smiled. "I can sing it, I just need some practice." He suddenly spun her, and gently pulled her back into his arms. "How have you been?"

"Since I left your apartment, I haven't been sleeping. I have done a lot of crying." Rafael felt honored that she would admit crying to him, he knew it was hard for her to admit any vulnerability, and she rarely cried.

"We have to remedy that, very soon." He replied.

"How?" Olivia asked with a smile,

"You, and Noah can come back to my place after this reception is over. We could have a real dinner, and sleep."

"Oh, that sounds like heaven, but I think we should go to my apartment, all my stuff is there."

"Because you packed everything you had at my place. Ok. we'll go to your place this time. Liv I'm not going anywhere. I am in this for the long run." He said seriously, as he gazed into her brown eyes.

"Me too Rafa." She said softly.

"Did I ever tell you, I love when you call me Rafa."

"That's who you are. You're my Rafa, and I'm your Liv."

"My Liv. Rafael whispered. He placed a warm hand on Olivia's cheek, and leaned close, suddenly he was kissing her, and she was kissing back. This time there was no sadness, doubt, fear or confusion. Rafael Barba, and Olivia Benson were on the same page. They kissed slowly and passionately until they both needed air. "That was amazing." Rafael was finally able to say.

"Extraordinary." Olivia said.

"We're celebrating Chismas together." Rafael said in awe.

Olivia laughed. "OK." She said, looking forward to it, and everything else the promising future had in store for them. She leaned on him as they headed back to their table. When they got there, Rafael grabbed her hand, and held it like a precious jewel. "I love you, my Liv."

"I love you too, my Rafa."

Rafael leaned in, to kiss her again., when he heard Olivia's phone ring from the table. Why couldn't rapists take a holiday? He watched as Olivia quickly grabbed her phone. "Can I throw away your phone?" He said with a cute roll of his eyes.

Olivia laughed. "I'll be with you again as soon as I can." Olivia said, looking at the caller ID on her phone. "It's Amber. She's been calling me a lot since the guilty verdict. She wants to know if I would be able to adopt her baby girl. " Rafael watched with a smile as the love of his life pressed the talk button on her phone, and put it to her ear.

To be continued in the Sequel.