Bella
No matter what, I am not going to forgive them so easily. They have to pay the consequences they deserve.
This was the first thing I thought in morning. I made the decision. I and my daughter were not toys to play. And I have to admit the nightmares helped me to make the decision.
"Good morning Bells. You are early. Did you sleep well?" Kayla told while entering in the kitchen. I was never a morning person and she knew it.
"Yeah." I lied smoothly; at least I thought it was smooth. She frowned at me.
"I told you not to think about that bustard, did not I?" Just like I could control it. I sighed. "So are we talking?" she asked.
I knew what she was talking about. I remembered my promise. I looked at the clock. It was about time for Lily's wake. She took the hint. She knew how sharp Lily's hearing was, something she gate from his father. And the last thing we want was to Lily find out before we settled in some conclusion.
"I guess later would be better choice?"
"No problem. Hey, I'm going to call dad. Will you wake up Lily? We will have breakfast together after she woke up."
"Sure."
It was a snap decision. I hope it would be a good one. I need to talk to him. I needed my dad. I took a deep breath before hit the call button. Dad was going to freak out. He would not like the concept of them so close near his girls. At least he knew he could not shoot him, wait, he could always hire a werewolf. Though I hope he would not. He was going to take the first plane he could gate. What I suppose to do? I did not know yet what they want….stop it Bella. You are rambling.
"Bells?"
"Yeah dad. Good morning."
"Good morning. Everything is fine? You did not sound well. Why are you calling so early? Where is my granddaughter? She is okay, right?" now he was rambling.
"Take a breath dad. Lily is okay. Sleeping, I guess. Kayla is with her." I told him with a nervous chuckle.
"Everything will be fine kiddo. Tell me what's wrong?" he asked calmly. After Edward's leaving, dad helped me to fight back in my life again and as a result we became closer than ever. He knew me and knew what I want. I can share everything with him because I knew no matter what he would always support me and love me.
"They are back." I tried to stay calm. I was done with break down but that not mean it did not hurt.
"All of them?"
"I guess. I just meet Edward and Alice."
"Where?"
"Edward was in my class. Alice came to meet me later."
"Oh." That all he said but I could see the smug smile in his face. Dad is very proud for my achievement. He loved to show off everyone. I think he would love to show off to the Cullens too. But he was mad too. "What they want?" I could tell from his voice now he was trying to stay calm.
"I don't know dad. I have not talked to them yet. I – I was not ready to face them." I whispered.
"Are you now?" He asked firmly.
Am I?
Yes. I am.
"Yes dad. I know I can."
"Listen Bells, I know you. I trust you. I watched how you fight your battle for last six years, I was there. If you think you can do this then I know you can. Just trust yourself. Follow your instinct. You are much stronger than think. Don't let anyone drive you. It's your life to make any kind of decision. Don't forget you are the one who was fighting this for years alone, we were there and we did nothing but support you. It's all you.
And Bells if you decide to forgive them then don't worry about what the others will think. I trust your judgment. Though I would not like that very much but I would always know that you make the right decision because you know what you want, just trust yourself baby girl. And everything will be fine."
I had no idea what to say. I thought dad would be mad about them but I never thought he would tell me to follow my instinct, that he would be fine if I take them back. He had more trust in my judgments than me.
"And Bella, are you decided what are you going to tell Lily?"
"Not yet dad. I don't know what they want. But if they want us back, I would like to test them first. I would never let anyone hurt her. They need to earn my trust back. I would just see how things turn out."
"Give them hard time Bells, real hard time. They need a taste of their own medicine!"
"Don't worry dad, you are not the only one who would never forgive me if I didn't. Kayla would kill me if I make things easy for them, they want me or not. And let's not talk about Jake. But the good thing is I have no plan to forgive them anytime soon." I inform dad.
"Good." I could hear his laughter. He knew his daughter and he knew how tough she could be if she want. "In that case I think I should say good luck to them!" he was having hard time to breath between his laughter. "By the way, I am catching the next plane." Here we go!
"Is there any point in arguing?"
"Nope."
"See you soon dad. I forget, how is Sue?"
"See is fine. You know she would be coming too." Of course she would. She loved Lily like her own grandchild.
"Oh dad, don't tell Jake anything yet. Let me find something out first. Then I would tell them." The good thing was Jake was not home, he was visiting Rebecca with Billy.
"Bye Bells."
"Bye."
The conversation went much better than I expected. And I was right I needed it. Now I was ready to face them again because I knew I could do it. Dad was right, I should trust myself better. By the way, did I tell you yet my dad is best dad in the whole world?
'Knock'. 'Knock'.
I was in my office doing some paper work when someone knocked in my door. Lily was beside me. Kayla wanted to take the day off and babysit Lily so I could sort thing out with Edward but I didn't want her to have any problem in her work because of me. I would find a way to face it. But I certainly hope it was not a Cullen in my doorstep.
It was Andrew.
"Good morning, Bella."
"Good morning, Andrew." I greeted him.
"Are you busy? Sorry for disturbing you."
"No it's okay. I was just doing some paperwork. Though I have my class in half an hour." And Edward will be there.
"I'm free. I mean I can babysit Miss Lily." He looked at me with longing. I could not help but giggle. If Edward was still my old Edward then it's a good thing he was not here or he would kill him for that look toward me. He must thought there was something wrong with me because he was looking like I was crazy.
"Thank you Andrew. I really appreciate it but you know she don't know you that much so sorry. I can't leave my baby girl like that. I hope you don't mind." But he definitely was disappointed.
"No. Of course not. I understand. Umm…will you mind to go for dinner with me later…I mean you me and Lily?"
I. Can't. Believe.
"Are asking me for a family date?" We just meet yesterday and he was already asking me out. Why can't they just be friends?
"Yeah." Now he was having some problem with his self-confidence. No wonder my voice had the effect I wanted.
"Thank you for asking. But I don't date. So sorry." But I didn't sound sorry at all, I told him sternly.
"No…umm I mean…I – I…"
"I have to go."
"Huh?"
"I have my class. I don't want to be late." I told him softly. Maybe I should not be that harsh. It was not his fault Edward came back and patience was running thin.
"Oh sure. See you later?" He was hesitant.
"Sure Andrew. Please don't mind, I really don't date. I have a baby girl, I'm trying to be a good mom. I don't have much free time." I smiled at him to put him ease.
"And you are a great mom. I guess I will still try." He winked.
Shit.
"Thank you. But don't hold your breath." Well he will learn it was useless to advance toward me.
"Bye." He smiled widely.
It was getting on my nerves. First out of nowhere Edward came back then those boys never learn to accept no at first chance. Why they expect me to be cool after all of that. If Edward tried to do something now then he was going to face my wrath. After all it was his fault that my patience was running thin.
"Let's go baby girl. We are going to be late."
Though we were not late but still the students started to come before I could settle Lily. Edward was the first one but the second group was not much behind. I could tell from Edward's face that he did not like it much. He was frustrated; maybe he was hoping to use the chance to talk. Apparently Lily doesn't have much patience than her father.
"Momma this song is not starting. Do something. I want my songs." She demanded.
"Give me a second, baby" Thanks to Andrew, I did not have my presentation ready. I needed to make it before the class started and here my baby was impatience too.
"Dr. Swan, may I help Miss Lily?"
I looked up to find the owner of the voice. He was a boy with dirty blond hair. He looked hopeful. "Thank you but I don't think you can. Her test is little different." And I was telling the truth.
"Then maybe I can? My brother always teased my test in music is weird. Of course he knows nothing about music though."
I never need to look up to recognize the voice. I was about to tell him no but my baby bit me up.
"Momma please!"
I was shocked that my baby probably recognized him then it hit me hit she was begging for her music. She did not like all the serious conversation I had in my classes, she got bored, so instead she preferred to listen her favorite songs.
Before I could reply Edward got up and came toward us. He kneeled in front of us and first looked at me.
"Please Bella. I am just trying to help you. I promise I would not start anything you would not want me to. I would just keep her busy and find her some songs." Then she looked at Lily. "Hello Princess. My name is Edward Cullen. Your momma is a little busy; allow me to find you some songs?" He spoke to her softly with a dazzling smile in his face.
When my baby girl spoke her dazzling smiled matched his. "Hallo. Our name matched." Edward's answering smile was blinding. Of course. "Momma can he?" I could not find my own voice so I nodded.
"Come with me Princess." Edward picked up Lily and started what I could guess a serious conversation in music. Edward was teaching some important things about music though I can't tell how much important, music was never my subject.
I wake up startled. What did I do? I let Edward talk Lily without testing if I could trust him. But right now I could do nothing about it. If I tried I have to face my daughter's questions, what I was not looking forward for. My daughter could be as perspective as me.
I looked closely to the father-daughter. Lily was sitting in Edward's lap with a huge smile in her face. Edward also had a big smile in his face, like he had everything he ever wanted and he looked liked a proud dad. I wondered what they were talking about but judging Edward's face it did not look like he had any plan to leave any time soon. And Lily also looked so happy with him. They looked perfect. I could not help but feel truly happy seeing them.
NO. Control Bella.
I could not trust him just for his smile and what my heart was telling me. I did that last time. And here I am, alone for last six years. I could not do this again. Edward has to work hard for it, he has to win my trust back.
I was ready to start the class. "Baby, come here. Edward's face felled as soon as I called Lily back, his hand tightened around my baby girl as a reflex reaction. But Lily had another plan.
"Momma, can I stay here please. I'm comfy." She told with a pout in her beautiful face.
"But honey, you don't want to disturb d…Edward, do you?"
Edward smiled and rolled his eyes. "I won't have a problem Bella. Please can Princess stay." He was intentionally trying to dazzle me. And of course I noticed he was calling her princess. But I was helpless between two of them so I nodded. How had could it gate like that? It was not like Lily knew he was her father. The bell rang before I could think something else.
The class was going fine except one thing. Like the last day, Edward was not paying even one percent attention in the class. He was either admiring Lily and talking to her in a voice under human's hearing range or intently looking me, following my every move. I had no problem that he was not paying attention, actually I doubt he came here to study, but his constant attention was making it hard to concentrate in the class.
Enough.
"Mr. Cullen, can you tell me what we were talking about?"
Edward eyes got wide. He hesitated a bit. He usually picked the answer directly from the teacher head but here he could not do that. Ha. You can't cheat now. After a few seconds he started to relax.
"Native American's traditional beliefs."
Shit. I forgot he could read other students mind. Like he could read my thoughts, he chuckled a little. I shot him a glare and he immediately stopped. Good.
"Cheater." I muttered under my breath. He knew better than laugh this time.
The rest of the class went without any other scene but Edward did not learn anything. He continued his job to admire me and my baby girl. And I could not even catch him off guard for it; he would pick up the answer from other students' head. How frustrating.
"Come on baby, we have to go." I called Lily and this time she did not hesitant. But surprising me she gave Edward a kiss in cheek before climbing off his lap. Edward sweetly kissed her head and picked her up to hand over her to me. But the most annoying part was they continue their conversation for a moment, anybody who did not know them would never thought they were having a conversation, but I knew better than that. And I could hear a single portion of this. It was getting on my nerves. Luckily they end it before I lost my nerves.
I was almost leaving the classroom when someone called me.
"Dr. Swan, you promised we could meet Miss Lily today." A brunette girl asked.
"Sure. Why not."
They took a whole fifteen minutes and all the while Edward was smiling like a proud father.
I did not waste much time after that. I said a quick good bye to my colleagues and headed to my house. They were trying to make me stay a little longer specially Andrew but I had to tell them sorry. I was not sure if I could face Andrew today. First he asked me out in front of my daughter and trying to force me into it and second it was his fault Lily spent the whole class in Edward's lap when I was not sure what I was going to do with him. I did not want to try for a third, after all my control was not perfect. And most importantly if Edward was going to follow me then I would rather face him somewhere alone then in a collage campus.
The whole ride home Lily continued to show me her new favorite songs and trying to explain me how beautiful they were. Obviously they were classic. I tried to listen her every word and encourage her. But truly I did not gate all of it, I did not get some gene full with artistic passion from my father, and I was right for not trying to listen when they were talking about it. It was not like I would understand all of it anyway. They simply flied over my head, though they were just some basics. I just listen songs, I never tried to understand them.
Lily was homeschooled. And honestly she is the best student I ever had. She got her intelligence from her father, it did not take her long to learn something new. I was teaching her some basic math when the doorbell rang.
"Momma, can I get it please?" she was bouncing in her seat. I smiled and nodded. And she was gone. I could not help but laugh.
"Who it is honey?" I followed my exited daughter to the hallway. I knew it was Kayla. But I was playing along.
"DADDY!"
WHAT?! NO HE DID NOT!
I could not believe. It was Edward with Lily in his arms.
"Lily, honey, why don't you finish your homework while momma talk with daddy." There was no reason to hide the truth now. My baby was more observant for her own good. Neither I could lie about such a thing.
"Okay momma." I started the music system in Lily's room. I added it so I could speak freely while Lily was there. It would keep her from hearing everything.
"How dare you?! Who give you right to tell Lily the truth?! You don't believe that after everything I will just forgive you!" I was too mad that I could barely control my voice. He flinched.
"Bella please listen love."
Love?
Love?!
How dare he call me love?!
I almost started to shout when he placed his cold fingers in my lips. "Please Bella. You don't want Lily to hear us. Please let me explain."
He is right Bella. You don't want your baby girl to hear everything. I nodded.
"I know you thought I told Lily about me but I did not. Trust me. She is your daughter Angel." He chuckled, I just frowned. "It did not take her long to figure out. First our name matched. Then she looked a lot like me and she also noticed the difference in my skin and temperature. She already knew she is different, does not she?" I nodded. "So she figured it out." He hesitated. "Bella does she know what I am? Who she is?"
"Yes. One day she asked me why she is different than me and papa Charlie. I told her because her daddy was a vampire so she was a half-vampire." I smiled remembering the conversation. "Then she asked me like the movie if her daddy also drink human. I told her no her daddy drink blood but not from human. He drinks from animal because he is a good vampire. She nodded and went to play again."
"She accepted it so easily?" He could not believe it. He was suspicious.
I just nodded. No reason to say she believe it so easily because her uncle's were werewolves. She was no stranger in this supernatural world. I have no idea how he would react if he knew about the wolves. I did not want to find out with my baby girl there. He had PhD in over-reacting. I needed to change the subject.
"How did she found out you are her daddy?"
He smiled, evidently forgetting about his suspicion. "I already told you. She had enough reason. I was trying to teach her some basics about music. She has a natural talent." I doubt his smile could get any more bigger. "Suddenly she asked if I was her daddy." Okay so I was wrong. "How could I lie to my Princess? So I just nodded. She did not ask me any more questions. Just told me I was late, she was waiting for a long time. And then she went to listen her music." He started to chuckle. "When I tried to talk to her, she told me I should pay attention in class or momma would get mad."
I could not help but chuckle too at my daughter's attics. "Clearly you did not listen her." My baby was giving her daddy advice. I was so amused.
Wait. What I am doing?
"Edward what do you want?"My voice was cold.
"What do you mean?" He was confused.
"You promised I would never see you again. What do you want this time Edward?" He flinched hearing my cold voice. I had only two option, first I could break down and show him how pathetic I felt without him, second I could convert all of my pent up agony in anger and show him what he did was wrong. And I chose option two.
He face was crumbled in agony then understanding drawn to him. "Oh Bella, I lied. Everything I told you in the wood was the blackest kind of blasphemy. I could not ever not love you. It was never been an option for me. I have to love you, this was the only way I could live and I – I have to be with you this was the only way I could be happy. I lied because I thought it would the best for you. I…."
I could not hear any more.
"Who gave you the right to take decisions for me?! Edward you was my boyfriend nor my parent and neither I was a child. You should make decisions with me not for me. We supposed to be equals in a relationship." He looked ashamed but I was too mad to take pity on him.
"I am sorry Bella. I am more sorry than I can ever express you. I know I screwed up everything but I only did it because I thought it was best for you. Bella, love, I was never strong enough to stay away from you, if I did not think I was doing the best for you I was never be able to bear the pain." I started to talk again but he stopped me "I understand now it was the biggest mistake of my life and I am over a hundred years old. But trust me when I said I did it because I love you."
I had to protest. "How could I believe you love me after everything you told me that day." I could hear the pain in my voice myself.
I think he muttered something like 'I deserve this' but I was not sure.
"Angel can you remember everything I told you?" I nodded. "Angel, I am not a human I am a vampire and you are my mate. I know I underestimate your feeling for me but you underestimate mine too. How could you believe my lies so easily when I told you more than a thousand times I love you? That day I was expecting you won't trust me. I would have to lie at least a thousand times before you would start to accept my lies. You always see through me, how could you not that day?
Love, vampires mated for life. It does not matter if you love me or not I have to love you as long as I live. There was no other option for me. You have no idea how miserable I was for last five years nine months twenty-five days, until I met you again. The only reason I was still alive was you were alive. I could not live in a world where you don't exist. If you are here than I have to be here and if you are not then I could not stay here." The problem was I could find nothing but truth in his eyes. He was pleading me to trust him.
Suddenly I remembered what he told me earlier in my eighteen birthday. He told something like that, something including Volturi. And everything was clear. I also remember more things he told me other times. Then it all made sense. He left because he thought he was not good enough for, because he thought he was feeling guilty what happened that day, because he thought he was endangering my life. I always felt insecure in our relationship but it was Edward who felt most insecure because he thought himself as a monster that deserves no good.
But it did not lessen the agony I felt in those years. I could forgive him for that but what my daughter had to suffer? I was not sure if I could forgive him for that. My daughter had to live without her father for the first five years of her life. It was not easy for her. She doesn't understand it but I know she missed her daddy more than she thinks she was and she would understand when she spent time with him.
And I was sure he still thinks himself as monster. What if he left again because of guilt? I was not sure if I could handle it again. But I was sure I would never want my daughter to face it. I would not allow it. Neither I could trust him with my heart but I had no option there. That stupid vampire mate-bond affected me too. I understand t now and I could not deny it.
But that not mean I could not pretend like it had not affect me at all – okay I should say 'that much'…at least I could try. Be ready Edward. You have to pay for your stupid mistake.
"Edward I understand your point. But I have no reason to trust you."
"Bella…"
"Let me finish Edward. Do you still believe you are a monster?"
He did not answer but hung his head.
"I would take that as a yes. Listen Edward as a mother I don't want a person who thought that low about himself around my child. How could you teach her something good if you don't have faith in yourself?
Edward I never believe for once you were a monster. You could not help what you are but you always tried to better. You needed blood for your existence but you never hurt a single innocent people for it, not even when you hunt human." I sighed.
"Your problem was you never had faith in yourself. You left me because of it. But what hurt me most was you did not even have faith in our love. You never believe I could love you as you love me. Maybe I was a human but I was also capable of love."
I could not believe he took a decision like that for me. We did so much wrong in our relationship in past.
"Bella, Angel I am so sorry."
"No. I am sorry. I love you but I could not trust you again. I could not trust you with my daughter either." I should make my point clear.
"How about if I earn you trust?" he pleaded.
"Actually you should never leave me in first place. However you could always try but I should warn you it would not be easy. It you want my trust, first you have to change your view. No one is supposed to be a monster unless they wanted to be. And you should learn than relationship was made between equals. You could not even hope to have me unless you started to think me as your equal. And you know I was not talking about physical power. By the way, Good luck. You will need this."
He nodded but there was a hint of smile in his flawless lips. I did not understand it.
"What was so amusing?"
He smiled this time. "You changed a lot. You…you know what you are doing and you definitely know how to hold your place."
Oh. Was it upsetting him? He did not like I was no longer the girl who needed him in every-step, right?
Well, I could not do anything about it. He has to get used with my new version.
"Is that a bad thing? You did not like it like?" my voice made it clear that I didn't care. But of course I care!
"NO. I – I love it. It's kind of umm…sexy. I believe now you have enough power in yourself that you will never let us make any more mistakes and of course you will change my views too." Okay. I did not expect it. Then he smiled his dazzling smile.
And it still works. I could not make a coherent thought for a moment and then I remembered his comment. I could not control my blush.
Traitor body.
But Edward was clearly pleased with himself. He was smiling smugly. I wanted to punch his smug face but it would have no effect except a broken hand. Uff. How I was supposed to fight when my own body was betraying me? I needed to change the subject.
"Edward?"
"Yes love?"
Stupid dazzling vampire.
"Your family knows about me and Lily, right?" He smiled and nodded. "What they think?" I had no idea what I was expecting or what I want.
He laughed at my question. "I will say just one thing. It was taking all of their self control to not break in your house right now. And you know they have centuries of control."
If I was honest with myself than I wanted them to lost their control. But again my mind owned the battle against my heart. "You know right, they have to earn my trust back too?" His smile disappeared but he nodded.
"Why don't you meet Lily before leave?" I told him and his face became more sad. It took all of my self-control not to hug him and comfort him.
"You don't want me here?" I could practically hear his agony in his voice.
Control Bella. He deserves this and you need to make sure you could trust him again. That he would never leave again.
"Trust me you would not want to be here when Kayla came here." It was true.
"Who is Kayla." He was annoyed and I know the look. It was the same look when he had to share me with someone else while he wanted me all for himself and which was all of the time. It made me wonder again how he will react when he will learn about Tribes. I would found out soon.
"She is my best friend. Normal human best friend. But she really loves us. I told her a human version of our story."
"And she was not a fan of me." He was torn between sadness and annoyance.
"You would not want to find out. Now say Lily good bye and leave."
I could not spend more time with him. The way my body was betraying me I didn't know how long I could do it. I needed to gather my thoughts. He needed to pay for his mistake or he would make the same mistake again. He needed to accept himself.
"Can I stay with Lily a little?" He was begging and I was right about my traitor body.
"I was not joking when I told you would not want to find out Kayla's reaction. And I don't trust you enough yet. So no." I could not allow Lily to get used to them until I was sure they will never leave again. "Can I ask you a favor?"
"Anything Angel." He spoke determinedly.
"Asked your family to keep their distant from my daughter until I could believe they will never leave her." I pleaded. I was a mother who was asking for her child's safety. Safety from a heartbreak.
His face crumbled in agony. He muttered something like 'I messed up everything. But he agreed. "Okay. I could not promise but I will try my best."
"What you mean by you could not promise?"
He sighed. "Angel they supported my decision against their will last time and you know the result." He sighed again. "I was not sure they were ever going to trust my judgment again."
That's mean it was Edward's plan to leave me not their? But they still supported him. Why can't they accept me as a person, as a part of their family? I had my own opinion too. He was making me mad again.
"That's your problem not mine. You are not allowed near my daughter until you have the permission. Got it?"
He was looking heartbreak. But what about my heartbreak and my daughter's?
"Now if you excuse me I have some errands to run." I went to my baby girl. I needed him to go before I lost it.
"Baby daddy is leaving why don't you say him good bye?" her face felled.
"Why is he leaving? I thought he will stay with us." It broke my heart.
"I'm sorry baby. He is busy, he has to do something first. Maybe later." First he had to prove himself.
She pouted. Edward came in the room and kneeled in front of her.
"Daddy can't you stay? I just got you."
"I'm sorry Princess but momma is right. Daddy made some mistakes and now daddy has to make them right. But you know what daddy is going make a promise."
It was not right he was being too good with her. I did not want her to be used to this until I was sure but I could not find it in myself to be an intriguer between the father-daughter. They were too much adorable for that.
"What daddy?" she was excited.
"I promise you as soon as daddy makes everything right, which will be very soon, we will be always staying together. Princess, her momma and her daddy. How does it sound?"
"Promise daddy? Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise." At this point both of them had big smiles in their faces. I found myself smiling unconsciously too. My mind knows it was wrong but I could do nothing but wish it to become true. For a moment I let my heart win. But I had to remind myself I could not let him come back in our life so easily. First I needed to make sure he would never leave us again. And I would make it sure.
Good luck Edward. You will need the luck if want to win us back. And I promise I will not make it easy for you.
A/N
Sorry for the delay. Last week I got fever so I could not make the chapter ready in time. But here you have the new chapter. I hope I like it. Finally Edward got to meet his daughter. But he has a long way to go. Bella is not going to take him back until she is sure he won't leave again. Our Bella is a little tough.
Please leave a review. I want to know what you think. It will make my day.
And 'Lisa' Thank you for your support. I really got used to looking forward for you review. I'm not writing everyone's name but Thank you guys, your reviews never fell to make my day. Thank you for your support.