Chapter 4

Four pov

I look across the room towards Tris. I know she is going to get exposed in the next chapter. Tris' eyes are wide and her eyes meet mine. I want her to come over to me. I can protect her easier that way and maybe I just want her to sit by me. I try to tell her through my eyes.

She bites her lip, and I think she got what I was trying to tell her. I can see the conflict in her eyes but evidently she makes her decision. Coming over by me while holding her ribs.

This attracts the whole room's attention. "What?" I ask. "Um Tris just went over to go sit by you." Will states it likes it the most obvious thing in the world. I reply vaguely, kind of annoyed with his tone. "Yes and you are probably going to figure out why in a minute so let's just read the book and get this over with."

Apparently while me and Tris were having that exchange they already decided who would read next. I was too focused on Tris to tell that they were even talking. But I guess Tori is reading next.

I WAKE TO sweaty palms and a pang of guilt in my chest. I am lying in the chair in the mirrored room. When I tilt my head back, I see Tori behind me. She pinches her lips together and removes electrodes from our heads. I wait for her to say something about the test—that it's over, or that I did well, although how could I do poorly on a test like this?—but she says nothing, just pulls the wires from my forehead.

I sit forward and wipe my palms off on my slacks. I had to have done something wrong, even if it only happened in my mind. Is that strange look on Tori's face because she doesn't know how to tell me what a terrible person I am? I wish she would just come out with it.

"That," she says, "was perplexing. Excuse me, I'll be right back."

Perplexing?

I bring my knees to my chest and bury my face in them. I wish I felt like crying, because the tears might bring me a sense of release, but I don't. How can you fail a test you aren't allowed to prepare for?

"Tris failed" Zeke jokes seriously dude not the time. Can he not tell how tense the room is right now. Tori doesn't give time for the comment to register and just keeps reading. I think she wants this over with just as much as I do.

As the moments pass, I get more nervous. I have to wipe off my hands every few seconds as the sweat collects—or maybe I just do it because it helps me feel calmer. What if they tell me that I'm not cut out for any faction? I would have to live on the streets, with the factionless. I can't do that. To live factionless is not just to live in poverty and discomfort; it is to live divorced from society, separated from the most important thing in life: community.

My mother told me once that we can't survive alone, but even if we could, we wouldn't want to. Without a faction, we have no purpose and no reason to live.

I tense up. That just reminds me of my mother and I'd rather not think about it.

I shake my head. I can't think like this. I have to stay calm.

Finally the door opens, and Tori walks back in. I grip the arms of the chair.

"Sorry to worry you," Tori says. She stands by my feet with her hands in her pockets. She looks tense and pale.

Max raises his eyebrows "I have never seen you tense or pale Tori." Without missing a beat Tori claps back "First time for everything Max."

"Beatrice, your results were inconclusive," she says. "Typically, each stage of the simulation eliminates one or more of the factions, but in your case, only two have been ruled out."

"What" Max practically explodes, "that's impossible." "It is now" Tori responds. "Wait, so what do inconclusive test results mean?" Wills asks. You'd think a former Erudite would know that already I think to myself internally rolling my eyes. Tori doesn't even respond and just continues reading. This is taking forever.

I stare at her. "Two?" I ask. My throat is so tight it's hard to talk.

"If you had shown an automatic distaste for the knife and selected the cheese, the simulation would have led you to a different scenario that confirmed your aptitude for Amity. That didn't happen, which is why Amity is out." Tori scratches the back of her neck. "Normally, the simulation progresses in a linear fashion, isolating one faction by ruling out the rest. The choices you made didn't even allow Candor, the next possibility, to be ruled out, so I had to alter the simulation to put you on the bus. And there your insistence upon dishonesty ruled out Candor." She half smiles. "Don't worry about that. Only the Candor tell the truth in that one."

One of the knots in my chest loosens. Maybe I'm not an awful person.

"I suppose that's not entirely true. People who tell the truth are the Candor…and the Abnegation," she says. "Which gives us a problem."

My mouth falls open. "On the one hand, you threw yourself on the dog rather than let it attack the little girl, which is an Abnegation-oriented response…but on the other, when the man told you that the truth would save him, you still refused to tell it. Not an Abnegation-oriented response." She sighs. "Not running from the dog suggests Dauntless, but so does taking the knife, which you didn't do."

She clears her throat and continues. "Your intelligent response to the dog indicates strong alignment with the Erudite. I have no idea what to make of your indecision in stage one, but—"

"Wait," I interrupt her. "So you have no idea what my aptitude is?"

"You just had to be confusing," Zeke says with a laugh. I appreciate him trying to lighten the mood but it's really not going to work.

"Yes and no. My conclusion," she explains, "is that you display equal aptitude for Abnegation, Dauntless, and Erudite. People who get this kind of result are…" She looks over her shoulder like she expects someone to appear behind her. "…are called…Divergent." She says the last word so quietly that I almost don't hear it, and her tense, worried look returns. She walks around the side of the chair and leans in close to me.

"What stay away from me you're dangerous" Shauna practically yells. Tris tries to get up but I put my arm in front of her. "Shauna" "No four don't she is dangerous" I'm just so done right now I'm in no mood for whatever her mom has planted in her head.

"Oh quit it shauna nobody wants to hear about divergent conspiracy theories when you know nothing about Divergence anyway. Do you know how many divergents you interact with on a daily basis. Based on the way you're acting you would probably wet your pants." I snap at her.

Everybody in the room looks completely shocked. Shauna is my friend so I don't normally snap at her. I can feel Tris' stare at the side of my head. I know she probably has a ton of questions she wants to ask but she keeps quiet. Nobody seems to know how to react and we all just sit there in a tense awkward silence until Tori reads again.

"Beatrice," she says, "under no circumstances should you share that information with anyone. This is very important."

"We aren't supposed to share our results." I nod. "I know that."

"No." Tori kneels next to the chair now and places her arms on the armrest. Our faces are inches apart. "This is different. I don't mean you shouldn't share them now; I mean you should never share them with anyone, ever, no matter what happens.

"How many other Divergents have you hidden Tori." Max asks "and why would I tell you that Max" "I think we need to have a little chat later." "Can't wait," Tori responds in mock politeness.

Divergence is extremely dangerous. You understand?"

"See Tori just admitted that divergents are dangerous" Shauna states. I'm losing my patience with her really fast "No she didn't shauna she said divergence was dangerous not that divergents are dangerous. The divergent is in more danger than they could ever put anyone in." I talk to her like she is a child but to be honest she's behaving like one.

"First of all don't use that tone with me Four, second doubt it." She folds her arms and zeke has to pull her back to sitting and he tries to calm her down. Using words to quiet for anyone but them to hear. He can handle this one. This is a pointless conversation. "Keep reading Tori."

I don't understand—how could inconclusive test results be dangerous?—but I still nod. I don't want to share my test results with anyone anyway.

"Okay." I peel my hands from the arms of the chair and stand. I feel unsteady.

"I suggest," Tori says, "that you go home. You have a lot of thinking to do, and waiting with the others may not benefit you."

"I have to tell my brother where I'm going."

"I'll let him know."

I touch my forehead and stare at the floor as I walk out of the room. I can't bear to look her in the eye. I can't bear to think about the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow.

It's my choice now, no matter what the test says.

Abnegation. Dauntless. Erudite.

Divergent.

"There's a page break"

I decide not to take the bus. If I get home early, my father will notice when he checks the house log at the end of the day, and I'll have to explain what happened. Instead I walk. I'll have to intercept Caleb before he mentions anything to our parents, but Caleb can keep a secret.

I walk in the middle of the road. The buses tend to hug the curb, so it's safer here. Sometimes, on the streets near my house, I can see places where the yellow lines used to be. We have no use for them now that there are so few cars. We don't need stoplights, either, but in some places they dangle precariously over the road like they might crash down any minute.

Renovation moves slowly through the city, which is a patchwork of new, clean buildings and old, crumbling ones. Most of the new buildings are next to the marsh, which used to be a lake a long time ago. The Abnegation volunteer agency my mother works for is responsible for most of those renovations.

When I look at the Abnegation lifestyle as an outsider, I think it's beautiful. When I watch my family move in harmony; when we go to dinner parties and everyone cleans together afterward without having to be asked; when I see Caleb help strangers carry their groceries, I fall in love with this life all over again. It's only when I try to live it myself that I have trouble. It never feels genuine.

But choosing a different faction means I forsake my family. Permanently.

Just past the Abnegation sector of the city is the stretch of building skeletons and broken sidewalks that I now walk through. There are places where the road has completely collapsed, revealing sewer systems and empty subways that I have to be careful to avoid, and places that stink so powerfully of sewage and trash that I have to plug my nose.

This is where the factionless live. Because they failed to complete initiation into whatever faction they chose, they live in poverty, doing the work no one else wants to do. They are janitors and construction workers and garbage collectors; they make fabric and operate trains and drive buses. In return for their work they get food and clothing, but, as my mother says, not enough of either.

I see a factionless man standing on the corner up ahead. He wears ragged brown clothing and skin sags from his jaw. He stares at me, and I stare back at him, unable to look away.

"Excuse me," he says. His voice is raspy. "Do you have something I can eat?"

I feel a lump in my throat. A stern voice in my head says, Duck your head and keep walking.

No. I shake my head. I should not be afraid of this man. He needs help and I am supposed to help him.

"Run Tris" Uriah says and we all look at him "what bad things just tend to follow her I doubt this will end well." I have to admit he has a point, bad things just seem to follow Tris. But that just gives me more reason to help keep her safe.

"Um…yes," I say. I reach into my bag. My father tells me to keep food in my bag at all times for exactly this reason. I offer the man a small bag of dried apple slices.

Her father smiles, probably happy that his advice was actually used.

He reaches for them, but instead of taking the bag, his hand closes around my wrist. He smiles at me. He has a gap between his front teeth.

"My, don't you have pretty eyes," he says. "It's a shame the rest of you is so plain."

My heart pounds. I tug my hand back, but his grip tightens. I smell something acrid and unpleasant on his breath.

My heart rate accelerates at the fact that she's in danger in the story even though I know she ends up fine. I just seem to panic at every thought of her being in danger or hurt. "Run Tris" this time Marlene says it. Her parents both have a deep frown on their face. I can see Tris purposely trying not to look at her parents.

"You look a little young to be walking around by yourself, dear," he says.

I stop tugging, and stand up straighter. I know I look young; I don't need to be reminded. "I'm older than I look," I retort. "I'm sixteen."

His lips spread wide, revealing a gray molar with a dark pit in the side. I can't tell if he's smiling or grimacing. "Then isn't today a special day for you? The day before you choose?"

"Let go of me," I say. I hear ringing in my ears. My voice sounds clear and stern—not what I expected to hear. I feel like it doesn't belong to me.

I am ready. I know what to do. I picture myself bringing my elbow back and hitting him. I see the bag of apples flying away from me. I hear my running footsteps. I am prepared to act.

"Yeah go Tris" Uriah gets up and gives Tris a high five which just has Tris shaking her head at him.

But then he releases my wrist, takes the apples, and says, "Choose wisely, little girl."

"End of chapter" Tori says "That was an interesting one, who's next"

I can only hope we move on from the divergent talk for a little while. That or shauna shifts her attitude. She didn't seem to mind Tris after zip lining. Max doesn't seem to be reacting as much as I expected him to though. I wonder why and what it could mean.

I'm just glad Tris is sitting next to me right now.

Tris pov

I'm so glad that chapter is over. I decided it was best for me to just keep quiet. Four seemed okay with that. I knew he would help me based on the look he gave me. He seemed relieved when I listened and came to sit by him. I feel a little nervous about sitting next to him but I try to ignore it.

I also feel kind of guilty. My divergence is going to get Four and Tori in trouble with me. I'm also making my parents feel bad. I can't quite read their emotions if they are sad or feel guilty I don't know. But I try my best not to look at them.

It's kind of weird to have my thoughts read out loud like this and it's only going to get worse.

I just want to go to sleep. I still feel tired from this morning and the pain is steadily getting worse as the day goes on. I'll be sharing a room with Four. I don't know how to feel about that. I hope we can stop for the day soon.