Chapter 18
(AN: warning this chapter has a lot of switching pov's)
Four Pov
"Well that can be it for today" Max says. I don't stick around any longer than I have too. I head upstairs immediately not bothering to listen to them talking behind me. Already gaging in some sort of conversation.
I enter the room and flop on the bead staring at the ceiling. How am I going to get through this? Everyone knows I have a crush on her and they aren't going to let it go. I know I can't have her, but it's hard listening to their comments.
This is so complicated. I wish it weren't but that's how it is. She flipped my life around and she doesn't even know it.
This is getting too confusing. I shove the thoughts out of my head and try to shove the emotions down the best I can. But she keeps slipping into my head as she always does. Eventually I give in to exhaustion and fall asleep with her on my mind.
Tris Pov
"Well that can be it for today" Max says. They all start into a conversation and I sit there listening in. Four heads upstairs not even looking back at us. I stare at his back as he leaves. The other's have paused their conversation when they notice Four leaving.
"Well I guess someone has had enough socializing for one day" Zeke says laughing. We all stare at him. "What, he is probably the most antisocial person in the entire dauntless compound." he explains. "Agree with you there" Max chimes in.
"You know he's calmer around you, more relaxed," Shauna tells me. I raise an eyebrow at her confused as to why she is telling me this. She sighs "What I'm trying to say is that you'd be good for him." I don't know how to respond to that. Luckily they move on to a new topic.
"We're going to play truth or dare tomorrow." Zeke says cheerfully. Yeah I will not be joining that. I decided that this isn't a conversation I want to be in. So I tell them I'm going to bed.
Page break*
I walk into the room I share with Four and see him asleep. I can't help but stare at him. He looks so peaceful. After a moment I realize what I'm doing and look away from him.
I walk over to my bed and just lay there thinking. What does being here mean for initiation? Will I figure out how initiation plays out in the books? My divergence doesn't seem to be a problem here but will it become one? Or will it still be a problem when we get back to dauntless.
And what is going to happen to me and four. Will we get together? Why does he like me of all people?
I roll to my side and try to sleep.
Page break*
I wake up sweating. I dreamt of Peter trying to throw me into the chasm again. It was just a dream. I tell myself this over and over until I calm down. After I have calmed down I stare at the ceiling. There is no way I'll be going back to sleep right now.
I sit up when I hear shifting. My eyes land on Four he is tossing back and forth. He is having a nightmare? It looks like whatever it's about is absolutely terrifying him. After a few more minutes of him tossing and turning he bolts up out of bed shaking.
I'm not sure if I should say something or not. I decided there wouldn't be any harm in it. "Four" I say quietly. He looks over at me still shaking. Something flashes across his eyes that I can't read. He shakes his head. His shaking has slowed a little.
"Are you okay?" I ask him fully knowing he was probably not going to answer that. But to my surprise he shakes his head no and leaves the room in a hurry.
I am shocked at what has just happened. I debate going to go talk to him but decide against it. He probably wanted to be alone. What could have possibly scared him so much in that nightmare?
I try not to think about it anymore and fall back asleep.
Four pov
I jump out of bed shaking uncontrollably. "Four" Tris quietly says. I look over at her. She saw that. I shake my head. My shaking has slowed a little.
"Are you okay?" I don't think about it before I shake my head no. I leave the room in a hurry. Heading to the training room. I wrap my shaking hands and release all of my thoughts on the punching bag. For who knows how long. But for some reason I just can't calm down. The training room has always calmed me down somewhat. But I can't seem to shake this nervous uneasy feeling from the nightmare.
Page break*
Tris pov
When I wake I know it's actually morning this time. I sit up rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Four isn't back. I get up wincing a little, I haven't completely healed yet. I take a shower before walking downstairs.
Everyone is already downstairs except four. They notice me coming down. "Morning Tris, have you seen Four he hasn't come down yet." Tori asks.
I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. "Have you guys checked the training room. He left our room in the middle of the night last night and didn't come back." I leave out the information of his nightmare. He probably doesn't want me mentioning it.
"Okay seriously how did we not think to check the training room" Shauna says.
We all head to the training room. Sure enough Four is there beating up a punching bag. He doesn't notice when we come in. "Whatcha doing," Shauna says. Four jumps actually jumps.
He seems colder than he was a second ago. "What" he says, folding his arms. He doesn't look at me. "Well someone woke up on the right side of the bed" Zeke says full of sarcasm. Four doesn't react. He is acting like how he did when I first met him.
My mom tries to diffuse the tension "Well let's get some breakfast and get this day started shall we." They all file out but I trail behind. I stop Four when they are all out and it's just him and me. I grab his arm and he seems to relax at the touch dropping his Four mask. I see what they are saying when they say I calm him.
"Are you okay Four" I ask again. "I'm fine" his voice is barely a whisper and he looks at the floor. I let go of him and we walk out.
As soon as we leave the training room though, all of his guards go up. "Do you always go to the training room in the morning?" Will asks Four. "No" his voice is cold so different from how he has been while we have been here. Then I think back to what he just said. But he has gone to the training room the last two days. He went after he had a nightmare today. Did he have a nightmare the first day? Does he only do that when he has nightmares?
I look at him at first he doesn't notice me but he eventually looks back at me. He must see the question in my eyes because he nods. Confirming the conclusion I have come to. He looks away.
We all sit down for breakfast and start another day of reading.