18. No matter how much his friends beg, he refuses to say what happened during his one-and-only materialization.
"Is this really necessary?" Jeremie questions.
Odd rolls his eyes while Ulrich leads him to the scanner doors. The girl, Yumi, had disappeared to the super computer room to run the scans she'd said. Jeremie still feels like the three of them are playing a prank on him, but he isn't completely sure why they'd bother.
Sure, he's known Ulrich for a bit and the two don't exactly get along, but they don't not get along either. He hasn't spent much time around Ulrich's roommate, but the boy's pranks are already legendary. The girl, well, he doesn't know anything really about Yumi except that she's in the year above.
"Come on, Einstein," Odd says, "trust us."
Jeremie frowns. That's the other thing he's noticed. This sudden nickname. He isn't sure how to feel about it or when it happened, but Odd seems comfortable using it and Ulrich hadn't batted an eye on it either.
"But…what do I do?"
Odd is grinning brightly at him. "Sure you don't want some company down there, Einstein?"
Jeremie adjusts his glasses and frowns at them both. "I'll be fine," he says. He'd heard their tales of monsters and that Odd had turned into some giant purple cat-thing. He'd rather experience his own embarrassment on his own.
"Don't worry, Jer," Ulrich says. That nickname is also a surprise. "Yumi's handling the controls. Just pop on in, wander around a bit, and she'll bring you back."
"Right," Jeremie replies. He adjusts his glasses again. "I'm ready."
"Don't die," Ulrich says, pushing him gently into the metal tube.
"Die?" Jeremie yelps.
"Have fun!" Odd chirps, hitting the button to close the scanner doors.
"Scanning in 3…2…1…" Yumi's voice calls through the PA system. Jeremie has time to take a deep breath before the tube fills with light.
/
"So..." Odd says, bouncing on his toes as the scanner doors slide open.
Jeremie tries to focus on his breathing, not on the roiling in his stomach. He's sitting on the floor of the scanner, there's a throb behind his eyes and his vision is blurry. The girl kneels down in front of him, places a hand lightly on his shoulder.
"Jeremie?" she asks. "Jeremie, are you okay?"
"Maybe we should take him to the infirmary," Ulrich suggests.
"No," Jeremie groans. He pushes his glasses up his nose and breathes deeply. "I'm alright."
"You look like death," Odd states. "I thought Ulrich told you not to die."
Jeremie winces as he rests his head against the wall of the scanner. He must have hit it when he collapsed. Yumi and Ulrich grab him by the arms, managing to squeeze into the narrow scanner and pull him to his feet. They're both flushed from the exertion, Jeremie notes. He blinks to clear his vision.
"I'm alright," he repeats.
"Jeez, Jer, I knew you were bad at gym, I didn't know it applied to virtual athletics too," Ulrich states. He and Yumi pull him out of the scanner and Jeremie stumbles on the dusty floor. He regains his footing and pulls his arms free of their tight grasps.
"What happened?" Odd asks.
Jeremie shrugs, adjusts the sleeves of his sweater to cover his chilled hands. He can still feel sweat cooling on his forehead, the nape of his neck, between his shoulder blades. He wants a long, hot shower.
"Nothing," he says simply. "I need a shower."
He ignores the way the other three exchange a look and makes his way out of the scanner room.
/
He's finished going over his new plans for materializing May- Aelita and looks up at the other three expectantly. "Any questions?" Odd raises his hand as if they're in class. "Odd?"
"Yeah, you ever gonna tell us what happened the other day?" he asks. He taps his fingers against his bent knees and stares at Jeremie.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Ulrich and Yumi exchange a look. "In the scanners," Yumi says.
Jeremie shrugs. "I guess I was dehydrated. It was fine."
"And on Lyoko?" Ulrich asks.
"I just wandered around like you suggested," he replies. He frowns at them all. "Now, any questions about the materialization?" The three remain silent and Jeremie ignores their stares. "Good, now I don't want to be rude but I have a lot of work to get started on…"
He's grateful they take the unsubtle hint and leave.
. . … . .
Jeremie dreams about Lyoko, those early days after his first materialization. The tall trees of the Forest Sector are so different from the fields he grew up in, but they still remind him of home, of nature. He's homesick without realizing why.
He wanders the paths, keeps an ear out for the monsters the others encountered on their first day. There's nothing though. And that's where the wrongness comes in. There's nothing. No sound, no breeze.
He's used to the chirp of cicadas, the buzz of flies, the hum of bees, the persistent drone of birdsong. He lifts his face to catch a bit of breeze only to be met with stale stillness, not even air. There's no scurry of insect or animal feet in underbrush.
Jeremie.
He wakes with a gasp each night, sweat cooling on his skin and heart racing. He can never explain why, can never remember further. He contemplates going back to sleep, chasing the dream, but ultimately gives up and wakes his laptop.
"Hello, Jeremie," Aelita greets him, smiling at him. Her eyes are bright, luminous in the glow of his computer screen. "How was your day?"
He relaxes as he settles into the computer chair and begins to relay the day's events. Somehow, even though it was just another monotonous day, she looks as though he's relaying the most fascinating information ever.
He lets himself forget the dreams.
. . … . .
"So, Ai, any idea what Jer's first time on Lyoko was like?" Ulrich asks.
Jeremie frowns at the supercomputer monitor. "You're supposed to be getting Aelita to the tower, not taking a leisurely stroll through a garden."
"Well, maybe if XANA made this more of a challenge we'd have less time to gossip, Einstein."
"Odd…"
Aelita laughs. "Don't jinx us, Odd," she says. "No, I didn't have a chance to see Jeremie when he visited Lyoko. Sorry."
"You know, if he's bribing you we can offer better incentive," Odd says.
Jeremie rolls his eyes. "Look, Odd, you're getting your wish. Krankrelots incoming, three o'clock."
"Joy," Ulrich sighs. "Let's get this over with."
. . … . .
Sometimes Jeremie finds himself in the factory, sitting at the supercomputer, with no memory of how he arrived there. He thinks he should be concerned, he blames it on lack of sleep and the frustration with figuring out the materialization program.
The cold in his bones is from the chill of autumn air, the sweat from the unusually humid summer. If he's wet it must have rained, or he passed through the school sprinklers. There's always a rational, reasonable explanation.
There's no reason to mention it to the others.
. . … . .
Yumi is surprisingly good company. She has a maturity to her that the boys are missing, and she picks up the commands on the supercomputer fairly quickly. Jeremie finds that he enjoys spending time with her, running diagnostics and bouncing ideas off of her. Yumi doesn't partake in the school gossip like Odd or watch him like he's trying to break him apart, like Ulrich.
Which is why he's surprised when Yumi brings up his trip to Lyoko. She's sitting in the extra rolling desk chair, watching him scroll through the command codes and noting down the ones they think may be important.
"You know, you can tell me. I won't laugh. I won't tell Odd, or Ulrich," she says.
"Laugh?" he asks, feigning confusion. Yumi's staring at him with knowing eyes. She's usually able to see straight through him. He sighs. "You're acting like Odd."
Her eyebrow creeps up incredulously. "I highly doubt that. I'm not nearly energetic enough to be Odd." He feels himself smile at that and turns back to the computer screen. "You know the less you say the more curious he'll be."
"It was nothing," he reiterates. "I virtualized on Lyoko and I walked around some, and then you recalled me. That was it."
"No monsters?"
"No monsters." He glances at her, notices the puzzled look on her face. "What?"
"Nothing," she replies. She bends back over the notebook, dark hair curtaining off her face. "Let's finish so we can get to dinner."
. . … . .
It's not a lie. He doesn't really remember his time on Lyoko. It had felt too strange at the time, too foreign. Like a waking dream. He isn't sure how the others had managed to not only recall it so vividly, but to fight as well.
When he thinks back on it, really thinks back, he remembers only snippets: the bright lights of the scanner room, the sudden certainty that this wasn't a prank after all, his stomach plummeting. He remembers tall trees and silence.
He remembers his name.
Jeremie.
. . … . .
"Do you think it's weird that you didn't face any trouble?" Ulrich asks. They're picking their way back across one of the muddy athletic fields, rain falling heavily on them. The other students had all run for cover, but Jeremie had twisted his ankle and Ulrich has Jeremie's arm across his shoulders, one of his own arms wrapped around Jeremie's waist. "You know, when you took your trip."
Jeremie frowns, wishing someone had invented windshield wipers for glasses. The school is a blurry, streaky, wet mess around him. "Not really," he replies. "It wasn't an attack so there were no activated towers."
"Still…why wouldn't XANA go after you when he realized you were there?"
Jeremie shrugs, winces as he puts too much weight on his injured foot. "Maybe he didn't notice. I didn't walk around cracking jokes like you and Odd."
Ulrich hums, shifts his grip on Jeremie to take more of his weight. Jeremie hates feeling helpless. "Seems like he keeps the Mountain Sector pretty fortified though."
"Good thing I ended up in the Forest Sector then."
"So you do remember your trip," Ulrich comments.
Jeremie shrugs. "I never said I didn't," he replies. "I just said it was nothing. All I did was walk around and look at trees. I don't know why you all care so much."
Ulrich falls silent as they reach the covered sidewalk with Jim and the rest of their class. Jim takes one look at him and sighs loudly. "Come on, Belpois," he says. "Let's get you to the infirmary. Gautier, help Stern."
. . … . .
Sometimes Jeremie wants to mention the voice in his dreams. The memory of it, sudden and echoing in the silence of the Forest Sector.
Jeremie.
The way his heart had sped up at the sound of it. The others hadn't mentioned anyone else on Lyoko, aside from Aelita. But he doesn't think he imagined the voice. He's never been prone to that type of imagination.
No, there was a rational explanation for it. Jeremie just wasn't sure what it was.
I see you, Jeremie.
. . … . .
Odd's panting when they reach the factory. He looks pale and unwell, if Jeremie's being honest. His eyes meet Jeremie's as they head for the elevator.
"Maybe you should take my place. I can run the supercomputer."
Jeremie snorts, but he feels his stomach tighten unexpectedly at the drop as the elevator descends. "The controls are delicate, what if something happens and I need to use one of the codes you don't know."
Odd looks like he's fighting not to vomit. There's blood on the side of his head from where he'd been knocked against the wall. "I don't think I'll be good down there, Einstein."
Jeremie doesn't think he will be either. "I'm not a fighter, Odd," he replies. "Let's hope Yumi and Ulrich have better luck. Come on, you need to sit down."
Odd groans, leaning heavily on Jeremie as he leads him toward the supercomputer. Jeremie tries to lower him down to a clean piece of ground. It's less gentle and more collapse though. Jeremie takes a seat behind the computer screen, runs through the protocol to send Yumi and Ulrich to Lyoko.
Odd groans again, rolling his head to the side so that he's facing Jeremie. "Whatever happened down there can't be too bad, Einstein," he says. "You've gotta face it sometime. We'll need you down there eventually."
Jeremie frowns at the screen, ignores Odd. "Alright guys, looks like trouble around the next turn. Aelita needs some good back-up."
"On it, Jer."
. . … . .
They're sitting around the abandoned factory, one last time, ignoring the condemned and no trespassing signs decorating the walls. Yumi had been the one to suggest it, one final trip to the place where they'd all really met, where they'd become friends. A chance to say goodbye.
Jeremie hadn't been sure about it. What if they'd gotten caught?
But, Aelita had given him a look, green eyes bright and hopeful and he'd caved like always. After dinner they had snuck away, following the old route to the factory. Jeremie had watched the way Aelita drifted through the rooms, fingers brushing the cold metal of the scanner doors, trailing over the keys of the super computer. He hadn't been able to read the expression on her face, gilded from the setting sun falling through the high windows and half-hidden by the creeping shadows of night.
They'd trailed after her, Jeremie with his hands in his pockets and making sure that they hadn't left anything incriminating behind. Odd, Ulrich, and Yumi a few steps behind, voices hushed as they reminisced over their adventures and battles.
Now, they sit on the floor of the upper factory level, where the last of the sunlight is still able to shine through the grimy and broken windows above them. It's been months since they've been back here and the dust has piled up, the cobwebs have taken over the corners, and Jeremie's fairly sure there are some type of critter tracks in the dust and dirt. It's odd being back here after so long.
Odd shrugs, smiling a little, and passes around the bag of candy. "Hey, Einstein, remember when I solved your materialization program with candy?" he asks.
Jeremie shakes his head. "Only you would get that lucky," he says.
"Well, I'm thankful for that," Yumi states. She grabs a handful of candy, tossing one into her mouth. "Really," she adds, looking at Odd.
Odd shrugs, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "Yeah, well, you're welcome." He stretches out, looks over at Jeremie. He gestures at the darkening factory. "You did a good thing here, Einstein."
"You all did," Aelita adds. Her eyes have lost some of that haunted, misty quality they've had since the papers reported the imminent teardown of the factory. She rests her chin on her folded knees, stares across the factory floor. "I'm here because of all of you and I can never repay you for that."
"You don't have to repay us," Yumi says, voice firm. She wraps an arm around Aelita's shoulders, squeezes gently. "We're all happy you're here."
"It wasn't all bad," Odd says as he tosses a candy into the air, head tilted back to catch it. He gives a little fist pump when he successfully catches it. "After all, Lyoko gave me my signature hairstyle."
"Thank God you didn't go for the purple catsuit," Ulrich replies.
"I'll have you know I'd look fantastic in spandex." A pause. "Or a leather one."
"Please, now I need brain bleach," Yumi retorts.
"Speaking of," Odd replies, ignoring Yumi and focusing on Jeremie, "don't you think it's about time you told us about your first trip to Lyoko?"
"Come on, Jer," Ulrich adds, "what was your avatar?"
Jeremie shrugs, feeling his face flush under their scrutiny. He hopes it's too dark to notice. "It was so long ago, I barely remember."
"Barely doesn't mean that you don't remember," Odd points out. "C'mon, was there tights? It was probably something with tights, like Peter Pan. Right?"
Jeremie rolls his eyes. "No, Odd." He cracks a smile. "But, in the immortal words of Jim, I'd rather not talk about it."
Odd groans loudly and throws a piece of candy at his head.
/
He and Aelita trail the others on the way back from the factory. It's dark out now, the sun fully set, and he can hear the nightsong of the insects around them. Aelita links their arms together, rests her head on his shoulder. He can smell the citrus scent of her shampoo.
"It seems so final," she says, voice soft. "And yet, so insignificant. No one but us will ever know what happened there."
"It's better that way," Jeremie states. Aelita leans away from him, studying him in the gloom. "You wouldn't want a program like XANA in the wrong hands."
"No," she agrees. He lets his fingers tangle with hers and she rests her head against his shoulder once more. Ahead of them Odd and Yumi laugh and he can see Ulrich's silhouette shaking his head. "Do you think one day we'll forget Lyoko?"
"What do you mean?"
"You said you barely remember your first trip there. What if one day we all forget it?"
"I don't think that's possible." He tilts his head back, maps constellations with his eyes. "Sometimes I think it'll stay with us forever."
Aelita hums, but she doesn't press him for more like the others would. He inhales the scent of oranges, listens to the crickets chirp. He wants to tell her, he realizes.
Wants to talk about opening his eyes to find himself wearing the blue cassock, the feeling of a rapier heavy against his leg, the way he'd felt ridiculous. He wants to tell her about wandering the Forest Sector, trying to hear an insect, a bird, a woodland creature but hearing nothing instead, not even his own breathing. Because he hadn't been breathing, hadn't needed to.
He opens his mouth.
"Sometimes I hope it doesn't," she says softly.
She steps away as they reach the crossroads, hugs Yumi goodnight. Jeremie closes his mouth, shuffles his feet awkwardly. They say goodnight but it feels like goodbye and Jeremie shoves the thought aside. He's never been prone to fanciful imagination, no reason to start now.
Odd slings an arm around Aelita's shoulders, ruffles her hair and laughs raucously as they resume the trek to Kadic. Ulrich falls into step next to Jeremie, calm and serious as always. Jeremie avoids his gaze and watches Aelita laugh with Odd. Her head tilts back, a streetlight catching the motion and highlighting her profile with a golden glow.
I see you, Jeremie.
"The news said they'll be starting early," Ulrich says. He's staring ahead, watching Odd and Aelita as well.
"Yeah," Jeremie replies. He'll be happy when the machines tear down the factory in the morning. Maybe he'll even get up early to go and watch the destruction. "I might come down before breakfast to watch. Just to make sure everything goes as planned."
He sees Ulrich nod out of the corner of his eye. "Maybe I'll join you."