The next morning, Kate busted out a latte and a cappuccino like a pro. She smirked at the thought that if she got much better, she would need a green apron. Putting Martha's coffee in her newly purchased tumbler bearing the moniker, Drama Diva, Kate returned to the task that had been plaguing her since leaving her session with Burke the previous evening.
Her therapist was impressed with how much she'd managed to share with Castle over the previous weeks. He was even more impressed that what she'd shared that morning wasn't written on a coffee sleeve. At the end of the session, Burke had challenged her to keep this trend going and allow it to build momentum. He wanted her to keep talking to Castle, not just writing to him. While the idea of this still caused her breath to catch in her throat, Kate felt more prepared to do so than she had any time before yesterday. She felt bolstered by the fact that, despite his initial anger, he'd allowed her to explain why she reacted the way she did and accepted that she was working on herself. He seemed willing to give her a second chance and Kate had no intention of ruining that by running scared now. On her way out of her apartment, Kate doubled back to grab two books and slipped them into the now familiar vessel. She still wasn't entirely sure if she would share the contents of the bag, but she wanted the contents with her, should the opportunity present itself.
At five minutes to nine, Kate was knocking on the door to the loft. The coffees balanced carefully in one hand and the green bag tucked under her arm. It was opened to reveal Martha, clad head to toe in pink cheetah print.
"Katherine, our personal barista, come in."
Kate smiled and stepped into the loft. Martha took her tumbler from the drink carrier and laughed brightly at the design.
"My dear, this is charming. But very unnecessary."
"Well," Kate replied, "Alexis and Castle both have their own personal cups, I thought you needed one too. Plus when I saw it, I couldn't resist."
"Richard will be so happy you're here." Martha stage whispered. "He's been a nervous wreck all morning. First time I've seen him have to remake your coffee in a very long time."
Kate quirked an eyebrow at the man in question as he approached.
"It was only once, Mother." He said, slightly exasperated.
"It was three times. He made your coffee three times." Alexis chimed in from her perch on a bar stool.
"Really Castle? Three times?" Kate teased. "I only had to make yours once. Got it perfect on my first try."
"Remind me to get you a green apron." Castle grumbled and accepted the cup from her.
Kate laughed at this remark. She would have to remember to tell him that she'd had the same thought only an hour earlier. Castle took the drinks carrier from her while she removed her jacket. He tried to take the green bag as well, but Kate turned it away from him. "I'm going to hold on to this for a little while longer."
Castle gave her a confused look but didn't comment. She took Alexis' coffee cup from him and walked into the loft, toward the girl. Alexis accepted the cup with a small smile. "Thanks for this. I needed it this morning."
"Late night?" asked Kate.
"Yeah. I got distracted working with Lanie the last couple weeks and my other internships suffered for it. I needed to play catch up." Alexis replied.
"You wouldn't need to play catch up if you had one internship and not four." Castle chimed in.
"Preaching to the choir, Dad." Alexis shot back.
"Yeah. Yeah. Come help me with set the table." Castle gestured to the cabinets, then to the dining room table.
"Anything I can do?" Kate inquired.
"Just enjoy your coffee, Detective."
Breakfast passed in a haze conversation for Kate. The other three at the breakfast table told stories, talk over one another, and generally argued until Martha checked her watch and announced that she was running late. The older red head was out the door in a flurry of animal print and a hurried wave to the remaining three. As the door was closing, Castle rose to clear the table. Both Kate and Alexis jumped to help him, but they were shouted down. He left them staring at one another and disappeared to do dishes.
After several seconds of awkward silence, Kate was on the point of getting up to help Castle, when Alexis spoke.
"Can we talk, Detective Beckett?" she said with a slight edge in her voice.
"Of course. Although if this is going where I think it is, you better call me Kate."
Alexis didn't acknowledge this. She simply continued, "Last summer, I took my dad to that coffee tasting room about a week after the new captain kicked him out. He spent four days in his office, in the dark. Sometimes he wrote. Sometimes he drank. But mostly he just sat there. I got up the morning after he'd been sent home and he hadn't moved from the night before. I took him some breakfast. He didn't touch it. Nor did he touch the lunch or do more than nibble at the dinner I brought him."
Kate recoiled slightly at her words, but the redhead was undeterred. Kate could tell Alexis had been waiting a long time to unload all this so Kate didn't interrupt. Alexis plowed on, aware but unconcerned how her words were affecting Kate.
"By day four, I'd had enough. I marched into the office and kicked his chair out from under him. I sent him to shower and forced a sandwich into him. We spent the rest of the day tasting coffee. I hadn't seen him light up like that since you caught the case about the pizza wars. He faltered a little when he found the beans he uses for your coffee now. But he recovered quickly enough. For a few hours, I had my dad back and it was awesome."
"Alexis, I..." Kate tried to interject, but Alexis held up a hand to stop her.
"I'm not done."
"Okay." Kate murmured. None of what Alexis had said so far really surprised her, but didn't mean it was easy to listen to.
"The next morning, after we went to the tasting room, he got up and made coffee for you both. He didn't drink yours. He just made it flawlessly, took it into his office, and put it on the corner of his desk. He made your coffee every morning until Heat Rises was finished. Eventually, I figured out that having your coffee with him was his way of keeping a small part of you around. Once the book was finished, he only made two cups once in a while, but he drank the coffee that reminded him of you all summer."
When Alexis paused again, Kate waited to see if she had still more to say. When the red head remained silent, Kate let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding before inhaling deeply again.
"He told me about that." Kate began, her eyes focused on a spot on the table top. Not about making coffee for me during the summer, but about the coffee that reminded him of me." Kate brought her hazel eyes up to meet the girl's blue ones. "Alexis, I..."
"I know you're sorry. And I know the coffee you make for him, for us, is your penance. I get it. I didn't tell you all of that because I expected you to apologize. You already did that and I accept that apology."
"Okay." Kate replied tentatively.
"I just want you to understand what kind of effect you have on him. I don't know where I'm going to college yet, but I might not be around to pick up the pieces. You have the power to break him, and I need you to promise that you won't do that again."
At these words, Kate reached across the table and covered Alexis' hand with her own. "I know better than anyone that no one can make a promise like that. What I can do is promise I will do everything in my power not to." Kate's gaze momentarily flickered over Alexis' shoulder and she confirmed her suspicion. Castle was listening. He'd heard every word the pair exchanged. Smiling slightly at this, Kate dropped her eyes to Alexis' and continued. "I spent a lot of my life hiding in the past and running away from anything that felt too permanent. But I'm done hiding and I'm done running away. It's still more than a little terrifying, but, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm running towards something and I'm not going to stop til I get it."
When she finished, the two woman exchanged tentative smiles. Kate gave the girl's hand a small squeeze. Alexis didn't say anything, just nodded and scooted back from the table. She departed up the stairs just as Castle rounded the kitchen island. Kate opened her mouth to speak, maybe call him on his eavesdropping, but, before she could utter a word, Castle engulfed her in a hug that lifted her clean off her feet.
"Thank you." he whispered in her hair.
"No thanks needed, Castle." Kate said, a little breathlessly. She wasn't used to being this close to him, yet. And this was a lot of contact all at once. He sat her back on the floor and loosened his hold on her enough for her to pull back and meet his eyes. "Alexis deserved to have her concerns acknowledged and I needed to hear that. It wasn't easy to hear, but I needed reminded that last summer affected more than just you and me."
Castle released her and ran his hands down her arms. "Have I told you lately how extraordinary you are?" he asked, grinning.
"No." Kate chuckled. "But, then again, I haven't deserved the adjective much recently. No one extraordinary would put you through what I did, would have lied to you like I did."
"I'll give you that." Castle conceded. "But what you've done since is definitely a step in the right direction."
"It's just coffee, Castle." Kate huffed.
"It's a lot more than just coffee to me and, unless I am mistaken, it is to you too." Castle said, echoing her words to him in that same kitchen so many weeks ago.
His words landed in Kate's mind and she looked at him. Smiling softly, she breathed, "You're not mistaken."
"Good. Now, speaking of coffee, I noticed my own was distinctly lacking it's custom sleeve this morning. Care to explain?"
Stepping away from him and toward the chair next to where she'd sat for breakfast. She bent down and retrieved the green bag. Turning back to face him, she asked, "Can I show you instead?"
A/N: I know! I'm sorry! The next chapter is underway and will hopefully be up tomorrow. I sound like a broken record, but thank you all so much for the lovely reviews. You really know how to kick a girl right in the dopamine.