A/N. A slower chapter, of Aang and his feelings. As I said before, I try to show the character's state of mind. So… You can imagine the rambling in the airbender's head. Here it is.
I don't own Avatar the Last Airbender
Nothing. Don't think. Don't stop and don't consider all the possibilities.
Aang stood next to Sokka, who was pointing to their travelling route on a map he had… Borrowed… From the library.
"It looks like the only land passage is this sliver of land, called the Serpent's Pass." The water tribe boy said.
Aang didn't even feel surprised. Is his time, in had been called Heping Pass. Ah, what was one more? One thing more that was different. Of course, a time torn about by war had the need to call the Peace Pass by a more belligerent name. Of. Freaking. Course.
"You're sure that that is the only way to go? When I went there, there was a boat." Toph asked. Aang rolled his eyes. Of course, there had been a boat. Rich people had the nicer ways of travel. They, on the other hand, had only that blood money that the shitstain Ghashiun had got for Appa.
Don't think. Don't think about him.
"It's the only way… It's not like we have App-" Sokka began, but his sister cut him off.
"Don't talk about that! Can't you at least try to be sensitive?"
The airbender sighed. The other had been tiptoeing around him since the sandbenders had dropped them off at this canyon. Toph seemed afraid of him, while Sokka had tried to joke a bit last night. The earthbender and… her… had gone to sleep, exhausted by the day's events. Sokka had come towards him, with one big fake smile on his face.
Aang had ignored him, and after several minutes, he had been left in peace.
Well… Peace was a big word.
"It's alright. I know I was upset about losing Appa before. Now, I want to focus on getting to Ba Sing Se and telling the Earth King about the solar eclipse." He muttered. She looked at him. Clearly not believing a word he had just said.
"Okay… I'm happy you feel better…" The waterbender said, hesitantly. Aang didn't look. She was looking so lovely… But no. No distractions.
And feeling better? Well… No. But he didn't want to feel anything. Everything was better than feeling the anguish of the last few days.
Aang walked away. He didn't want to hear their plans. He would follow. That was all. After all that had happened, he felt… empty. Wan-Chi Tong who had insulted him… Not really insulted actually. It was true. Aang craved war, and that was wrong, for an airbender. People had been expelled for less. But he craved it for a reason. He needed to fight this war to end it. Hah! As is conflict had ever been solved with more conflict.
Wan Chi Tong was right. The airbenders, or at least, their way of life was gone. And here he was… A poor representative. Well, at least no one could expel him! He was alone. He could always expel himself.
"Hello there, fellow refugees." A man's voice sounded across the canyon. The man, standing next to two women, waved happily in their direction. One of the women was clearly pregnant, and the other looked a lot like the man, so Aang supposed they were family, while the first woman was probably his wife.
How could anyone be so happy? He was probably a war refugee, having lost his home, his livelihood and maybe people he loved. Well, welcome to the club. Aang heard Sokka groan, and say something about "Please, don't let it be singing Nomads."
The airbender walked towards the group, and he saw the man's smile vanish as he looked him in the eyes.
"Are you heading to Ba Sing Se?" Aang asked, calm and collected. No need to scare people who had done nothing wrong. He had learnt his lesson in the desert. Innocent people should not suffer.
"Sure are! We are trying to get there before my wife Ying has the child!" The Earth kingdom man said, lovingly rubbing the woman's shoulders, while the sister stood to the side, holding a bag.
The waterbender came to stand next to Aang, but he took a step away from her.
No feelings. Empty. There is no place for that now.
She glanced quickly towards him. He saw the hurt expression. He understood that. Never had the airbender refused proximity, not from her. But she had to understand Aang was doing this for her own good. Better to be hurt than to be hurt harder further along the route.
"Well, we can travel the Serpent's Pass together!" the waterbender said, trying to sound upbeat. But Aang saw how the pregnant woman recoiled, and her eyes widened considerably.
"The Serpent's Pass? Only the truly desperate take that deadly route!" Ying exclaimed.
Oh, yeah, why not! Let's take the deadly route. At least it would be interesting. Toph apparently wasn't too motivated, for she punched Sokka.
The man smiled, at spoke. "Just come with us to Full Moon Bay, there are ferries that take refugees there!"
Aang nodded and began to collect his clothes. He looked at the chest that she had managed to take back from the sandbenders. All that was left of the Air Nomads… in such a little contained. It was small enough to be carried. All that was left of a once proud race. Wan-Chi Tong's insults still stung.
They began to walk, and the man, who introduced himself as Than, began to explain how he and his family had become refugees.
Several weeks ago, he had been a secretary in a small town near Omashu, but when the city fell, the Rough Rhinos, the mercenary band Aang and the others had encountered at Chin had been released upon the countryside.
"That is their tactic, you see? Take the big settlements, and then make the surrounding villages so afraid of raids or reprisals, that no one would rebel against the new administration." Than explained to Sokka. Aang walked behind them, so he could hear every word. But he didn't desire to partake in the conversation. The waterbender was taking care of Ying, while Toph walked in awkward silence with Than's sister.
Than had lived in the small town with his sister and his wife when the Rough Rhino's had appeared. The soldiers had asked for the food stores, and Than, as a secretary, had been tasked with delivering them the lists of supplies.
The soldiers had not been satisfied with what little supplies there had been. They had begun by rounding up most of the men putting them in a barn. Then, they had burned the barn. Than had escaped the massacre because the Rough Rhino's needed him to tell them the information about the food stores.
But the mercenaries were not disciplined, so quickly, fighting had broken out between them about how to share the loot in an equal manner. Than, in the confusion, had managed to find his wife and sister, and had run with what little he could find in a short amount of time.
Aang had to give it to him. He sounded brave.
Sokka began to explain their journey through the desert, and that the airbender was the Avatar. To their credit, the family didn't look impressed, but rather hopeful. As if he could solve all their problems.
Well, bad luck guys. You're stuck with Aang.
They arrived in front of a great rock cliff, with several soldiers, wearing the green of the Earth kingdom in front of it.
"Names." One said.
"Than, Ying and Meihui" The refugees were let pass, inside a tunnel.
"Names?" Another soldier asked them, and Sokka stepped forward, giving their names. Aang saw the soldier look with unhidden curiosity at his tattoos, but he didn't want to go through the whole Oh Yeah, I'm the Avatar, take a look at my freaky tattoos that no one seems to understand! Part.
The refugee family had waited for them, how nice.
As they walked through the tunnel, Aang heard the rumble of thousands of voices just beyond a slab of rock. Thanks to Toph, he could even feel the hundreds and thousands of footsteps. How many people were there at the other side?
The rock fell away, thank to two earthbenders, and even in his depressive state, Aang couldn't help but feel his mouth fall open.
A whole port. In a cave. How?
Onde side of the cave consisted of a bay, where ferries were coming and going at a steady pace. At the other side, a city of crude earth tents had been erected. And between the two, rows and rows of little buildings, looking like some sort of passageway between the tents and the ferries. Hundreds of people were queuing there.
One of the earthbenders spoke, "Well, new arrivals! Go stand at row 34, the lady there is nicer than the others! You seem to have a rough few days. But don't worry. In Ba Sing Se, you are safe." The man smiled, and waved them to the right.
The refugee family took off, towards the left, because, apparently, Than knew one of the border controllers, so there was a chance his family would be processed quicker. As the three refugees waved them farewell, Aang felt the pang of regret.
All these people had been uprooted because of him. Because he had been late. The Earth kingdom was in total chaos, and who was responsible? Avatar Aang, the most incompetent avatar since the days of… Well, no one. Never had his past lives failed so much.
As they walked towards the queue that the earthbender had indicated, the two water tribe siblings in front, then the airbender, and finally Toph with Momo. Aang watched mothers feed crying children. They looked so pale, so hungry… New tears welled up in his eyes. His fault…. His fault…
"Twinkletoes…" Toph voice muttered behind him.
"Don't think this is any of your doing." She continued, softly. Aang tried to suppress the anger that bumbled up inside him. What did she know of it? How could anyone not see that this was his doing?
"Well. I could have been a century earlier, for a start." He answered darkly. He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't want to talk at all.
They arrived at the queue. Just in front of them, a man was standing with a cart. Aang read the sign, just in front of them.
No merchandise, carts or animals of burden on the ferry.
Well, that guy was in for a surprise. He watched as two security guards walked past them, towards the man. A platypus bear lumbered behind one of the guards, on a chain. Seeing the chain, the airbender's vision went red. Was that how Appa was being treated here?
Quickly inhaling and exhaling, he managed to calm down a bit. But the anger remained.
As they watched the man's cart being pulled to shreds by the platypus bear, a sharp voice beckoned them forwards. Sokka pushed him toward the lady at the desk
"Four tickets for the ferry…. Please." The airbender said, trying to sound nice. He probably had sounded like a very angry child.
"Passports?" The sour-looking lady asked, bending down to look at him, and then, clacked her tongue, as if to disapprove of him. Aang rolled his eyes. Of course, he could have guessed. The bureaucracy of the Earth kingdom had survived the war!
"We don't have passports. We are not quite Erath Kingdom citizens." He answered. Of course, leave it to this city to make only room for their own citizens.
"No passports, no tickets." The woman answered. Sokka stepped forward and angrily replied, "This is the Avatar!"
"Ah, I see twenty a day. Not a very good costume." She said, while calling for the next group. Aang looked at the cluster of figures at which the lady had pointed while talking.
A score of boys, of varying ages, stood in a corner, with a guard trying to explain to them they couldn't all be the Avatar. Aang tried not to but had to smile. The first smile since the Library. These people had been resourceful, he had to admit. Several were sporting the same kind of clothes he had worn as an Air Novice, and others had even managed to reproduce his new attire. One even had a glider.
Toph walked up to the lady, and pulled a card out of her pocket, which she gently slid towards the woman.
"I'm Toph Bei Fong, and I will need four tickets." She said, in a very authoritative tone, while showing a green and gold passport. Immediately, the woman began to shower them with compliments and even allowed animals, which She didn't normally do, but for a Bei Fong, it is only normal to have special privileges.
As Toph took the tickets, Aang tried to hold in the irritation. Of course, they had wiggled their way inside this, purely by their status. He hadn't minded when it was at Gaoling, to get in the home of the Bei Fongs, but here? There were people starving and dying, and they had just managed to get their hand on fours tickets.
As they got to the other side of the border patrol section, Aang directly saw the change in scenery. Gone was the earth tent city, and in its place, there were nice waiting areas. Several little restaurants and food carts were selling all kinds of food. The contrast was shocking. Gritting his teeth, he felt a flash of anger. If he ever managed to meet the Earth King, he and Aang would have a good, lengthy discussion about the treatment of refugees.
"Ah, we scammed that lady well! Now it's going to be ea-" Sokka began, but he was cut off by a security guard, grabbing the water tribe boy by the collar.
"Passports and tickets!" The girl, no older than eighteen, demanded, holding her hand out. Oh great. She was surely here to cause trouble. Because. Why. Fucking. Not.
"Is there a problem?" Sokka asked, clearly feeling the same way.
"I have a problem with you! I know your kind! Probably sarcastic, think you're hilarious, and let me guess, you are travelling with the Avatar!" The security guard stated, but Aang managed to see the little smile. She knew them. She had to.
"Do I know you?" A very confused Sokka asked. Yeah, you dingus. Of course, she had to know them. She just described the water tribe boy perfectly.
"You don't remember me?" the girl sounded furious. Oh spirits, of course. That was the only thing they needed. A girl that knew Sokka… intimately. And him, not remembering ever seeing the girl. Perfect.
"Maybe this will remind you!" The girl grabbed Sokka, and kissed his cheek. Oh… That went another way than Aang had expected.
"SUKI!"
Aang took a step away from the group. As much as he wanted to be happy for Sokka, he couldn't. The airbender stood at the edge of the group, and watched as Suki embraced the water tribe siblings. Aang realized it was the first time since the canyon he had actually looked at… the waterbender. It hurt so much to keep her at a distance. But it was better this way. Really. People only left or were lost to him.
"Aang!" Suki called, and managed to walk towards him. The airbender quickly nodded, and walked towards the blind earthbender, who had also kept her distance from the reunion.
"Toph, Suki. Suki, Toph." He said, pointing to the blind girl. The Kysohi warrior looked confused.
They sat down at one of the benches in the waiting area. As Suki, Sokka and Katara were talking passionately which each other, Aang sat down on the steps towards the docks.
"Hey…" Toph said, while sitting down next to him.
"Hey." He answered, bot really wanting to talk.
"Are you angry with me? You are ignoring everybody…" the blind girl asked, sounding a bit sad.
"No." he stated. Yes I'm angry.
"Aang, no use lying."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to be honest!"
"I fucking hate this. The special treatment. The refugee camp. That we are stuck here, and no one seems to care about Appa." There. He said it. Aang suppressed the remorse he felt when he saw the face of the earthbender.
"I'm sorry about that… But we do care." She stated in a small voice.
"I know." Don't let her in. Don't let her wriggle herself inside your feelings.
"Well, come one then! Get up, and let's talk to Sokka… girlfriend. Maybe she has some information." Toph stood up. He had heard the bitterness in that word.
"I don't think she is his girlfriend." Why was he talking about this. He didn't want to feel this.
"He had the same reaction seeing her as you do when Sugar Queen even so much as looks at you. Oh, by the way. Don't ignore her. She is taking it very hard." With that, the blind earthbender joined the others, leaving Aang standing.
He couldn't. He couldn't talk to her. Not now, not ever. After the desert, and what happened there. He had to stay away from emotions as strong as those. Because he couldn't even imagine what would occur to him if something happened to the waterbender.
So, he was trying to keep his distance. By not even trying to think of her name. Her. The waterbender. The water tribe girl. That girl. Everything was better than her name. Because, Aang knew, if he even thought her name, the wall he was building between himself and the world would fall down. He couldn't allow that.
Answers :
Kataangforeverrr13 : I was rewatching the episode for these chapters. And well, it broke my heart! And thanks! This one was a bit on the low quality, but I'm better at the Katara chapters
Gabriela N. Gonzalez : Yeah, Aang has really lost everything now… And I hate it ! But yeah, for the story, he needs to lose everything…
TheQuietReader23 : Oh, a darker Aang is just peak Aang. As much as I love the goof ball, it is good to see that he has a darker side. It makes his character deeper, and more believable! And great to see a review from you! Thanks!
CoyoteLemon : Oh yeah, I was watching the episode, and seeing the look on his face… Well, no remorse in his case there lol. So that had to go in the chapter of course!
Ashley Barbosa : I have some Kataang chapters ready for you, don't worry! And thanks!