A/N. I didn't forget about the Path After the Battle, but I want to write a good ending, and I just block at one point… But here is the next chapter from this fic!
I don't own Avatar the Last Airbender.
Aang walked behind the other, in battle within. On the one hand, the cold, rational brain, trying to convince him why distancing himself from the others not only helped him be a better Avatar, and perform his duty, but also keep the others safe. Safer than Appa.
But his heart was still shouting about the conversation from last night with… her. She had appealed to him, to his emotions. She missed him and wanted him back. She… she had not quite said why she needed him back. But the loving voice and the look in those big, blue eyes had broken through. The wall he had built around himself had crumbled. He was still trying to avoid it. Not thinking of her name. She is worth more to you than you are to yourself. Keep her at a distance. That way, she will stay safe. Not like Appa.
At least the Serpent's Pass had not been renamed just to give it a more threatening name, or in style of this time. But is had been a warning. Well, maybe, next time, make the warning a little clearer. Like Watch out people, The big freaking serpent that haunts these waters Pass. Yeah, that was a better name.
As they stepped off the pathway, on the other side of the Pass, Aang sighed in relief. Sokka decided to stop, so that the last part of the journey would be less straining on the pregnant woman. As they made their camp for lunch, Aang walked away, towards the edge of the Eastern Lake.
"Aang? Do you have a minute?" The water tribe boy's voice came from behind, and the airbender nodded.
"Listen… I know you are sad about Appa, and that I may have been a bit insensitive these last few days. But we do care." The older boy said, standing next to him.
Aang closed his eyes, feeling the wall crumble a little more.
"This morning, Katara told me what that spirit said to you. That is not true, you know that, right?" The airbender felt a hand on his shoulder. Yes, it's true. I'm the last, and not even a good one at that.
But as he thought those things, Aang spoke.
"Why not?"
"Look, I don't know anything about the Air Nomads, right? But… Well, Katara said you are wrong about thinking you're a bad one. And I trust her opinion." Sokka spoke softly, smiling towards him.
Keep him out. Stay at an arm's length. His brain shouted. His heart made him talk aloud.
"Since the iceberg I have not done the festivals or the songs."
Why was he telling Sokka this? Aang had wanted to stay neutral, to keep the people out. But since the waterbender's words from yesterday, he had been having trouble staving off the emotions. Even though he felt sad about Appa, he had begun to feel things again. Was it a good thing? He didn't know. But he had to admit, it felt better to talk and feel than ignoring everyone.
"Well, even if you think you're a bad Air Nomad… That can change. No one was good at something from the beginning. It takes commitment, and training." Sokka smiled, padded his shoulder and walked away.
That can change
Aang felt a burden fall from his shoulders. The water tribe boy was right. How could anyone expect him to know everything? How could people think Aang had known everything about the Air Nomads? Did Wan-Chi Tong know everything about Spirits? Surely not? Did that make him a bad spirit? No.
He began to walk over to where Toph was sitting, apart from the others. She was clearly feeling around, her feet firmly pressed against the ground. Since their encounter with the serpent, she had been quiet.
"Oh… Hey Aang…" She murmured, and the airbender sat down next to the blind girl.
"How are you?" He asked, having overheard Suki tell… The waterbender… That Toph had kissed her cheek, thinking it was Sokka. The earthbender raised an eyebrow.
"Alright. But you? Why do you sound… Well, nicer?"
He sighed. Aang knew it would be better for the others, safer at least, that he would not permit himself to feel anything towards them. But these last few days had been torture. He wasn't made for passive, controlled behaviour. He wanted to shout, to sing, to dance. Even if Appa was lost for the moment, the waterbender was right. It was better to hope. Ba Sing Se was a great city, many times bigger than Omashu or Goaling. But one Sky Bison? That was difficult to hide.
"She and Sokka have been knocking some sense into me." He finally said, "She said you were afraid of having lost me as a friend."
"Katara said that? Remember me to wring her little neck. But… yeah. That is true." Toph said quietly.
"She meant well. As always. But know this. I may be angry, I may be frustrated. But never with you. You did everything you could. And for that, I can't be angry with you." He said, feeling the dark clouds that had obscured his thought lift, just a little more.
"Thanks… I needed that. And… Can I ask you something? You may not like it." The blind girl responded. Aang nodded, before realizing his mistake.
"Yeah."
"In the desert… Katara said you entered the Avatar State because of what happened… Are you… dangerous? To people you love I mean?" Her voice sounded small, like she was trying not to ask it, but that curiosity had taken over.
"Yeah, I'm dangerous to anyone. I'm not in control. It is like… Thousands of voices are trying to get hold on the reins of my mind. Like all the avatars before me are trying to convey their feeling through my body. It is… overwhelming. And yes, if it happens again. Just run. I can't discern friend from foe at that moment." He explained, feeling his heart pained at the memory.
"Katara knows this?"
"I told her, the first time it happened." It was the only answer he gave. He didn't want to think about the skeleton.
"At yet, knowing all of this… She walked up to you when you were a danger to everybody. And got you out of it. I don't know if it was the bravest thing I ever felt, or the stupidest. But Aang, stop ignoring her. And please, start screwing her. All that pent-up energy is bad for you both." A watery smile came on Toph's face.
Aang couldn't help it. He also smiled. The cracks in the wall around him began to crumble, yet again. He knew why she did it. She had all but told him why last night.
"Do I feel a smile?" Toph pricked his ribs with an elbow.
"Don't feel too proud." Aang shook his head. He had not smiled because the blind girl's joke. But it was better not to say that.
"Well, at least, know that I will help finding Appa. I promise! And if you'll excuse me, I'll stop the emotions party from now on. Because it's sickening me!" The earthbender made vomiting noises.
"I know you're a big softy Toph." The airbender smiled again. It felt so good to let feelings in. Even if his heart still, it was a bad choice to exclude people from his life.
"That's it, when we're in the city, you will have the training of a lifetime." She grumbled walking away with her hands in her pockets, mumbling about how much weight one scrawny little airbender could carry.
Aang stayed seated at the lake, overlooking it.
I want you back! You know why!
Those had been her exact words. She had said that she wanted him back. And if he had to be honest with himself… He wanted her to have him, body and soul. Trying to suppress his feelings… It had not been natural. The airbender had ignored her, not to be unkind. But as he thought about it… It had been selfish. He had done it so that if something happened to any of his friends, he would not feel the same way as he did with the loss of Appa. He had done it so that he wouldn't feel the avatar state again.
But she had suffered. For some reason, she wanted him to be there, with her. She didn't want to lose him… Aang knew how that felt. If the waterbender ignored him or shut herself off, he would be out of his mind with worry. And after several of their little nighttime talks… He thought she felt the same way about him as he felt about her.
Stop ignoring her you stupid child!
Aang winced at that. He had felt these thoughts several times. They were not really thought, but rather voices that chided him if he did something stupid. Sokka had once said it was in conscience. Well, his conscience sounded a lot like Avatar Kyoshi.
Sighing, he stood up and turned towards where the others were eating their lunch. It wasn't much, as most of their supplies had been with Appa. But still, with what Suki had given them, Sokka and Katara had managed to pull together a decent rice dish.
The waterbender, without words, handed him a wooden bowl. As he began eating, Aang was trying to find a way to begin his apology to… her.
"Is that the Outer Wall?" Sokka suddenly asked, watching in the distance. The airbender looked up from his deliberation, squinting towards the water tribe boy was pointing. On the horizon, he managed to see a structure, so huge it could be seen, even from this distance.
"Oh yes, they say the Outer Wall is the greatest structure of the world! It's one hundred metres tall, and nearly thirty wide! And it manned at all times!" Then began to explain very enthusiastically,
"And apparently, there is an agrarian zone that supplies the whole city!" Meihui said. So, Ba Sing Se was still a marvel, even in this time. Aang resisted the urge to smile.
"How many people live there?" She asked. The airbender could answer that, but stopped before speaking. Of course, his count was wrong. A century happened between that count he had heard once. But still, he had not believed that two million people lived in the city, even before the war. That was just… Impossible.
"Oh, the Earth Kingdom keeps taps on all its great cities! Like Gaoling, Omashu, and of course, Ba Sing Se!" Than nodded emphatically, "At my work, my boss went to the city for the counting! If he was to be believed, there are now nearly six million people in the city!"
Aang nearly fell from his seat. How many? How could people live like that? He had flown over it once, when going from the Eastern Air Temple to the Northern one… But even then, from the sky, it had seemed crammed and noisy.
"I hope that I can find work at some of the offices of the government! If I manage that, I can provide for my family!" Than kept talking, happily. Of course, he was happy, his horrible journey was coming to an end. But as Aang was looking at the hopeful face, he heard a grunt next to him. Turning around, he saw Ying holding her stomach, clearly in pain. Sweat was dripping from her forehead, and Aang saw how her skirts were soaked. He knew what had happened.
"I think the baby is coming…" The woman moaned when another pain made her double over. Immediately, from the corner of his eye, Aang spotted a flurry of blue cloth walk towards them. Behind it, he heard Sokka ask,
"Can't you hold it in! We are nearly there!"
The airbender rolled his eyes. No, that was not possible. HE had seen enough births at the temples to know that walking several miles, under a hot sun, while giving birth was NOT a good idea.
"Sokka, calm down, I helped Gran Gran deliver lots of babies back home!" the waterbender said. Aang noticed the slight hesitation in her voice. She had told him once that it had been several years ago that a baby had been born in the Southern Water Tribe…
"This isn't the same as delivering an Arctic seal! This is a real… human… thing!" The water tribe boy yelled, Aang just stood up, giving space to the waterbender.
"It's called a baby. And I helped to deliver plenty of those as well!"
Well, Aang suspected that was a stretch, but a necessary one to keep Ying calm. Because, as he thought about it, this arid gully didn't seem like the ideal place to bring a child into the world…
"Aang! Get some rags! Sokka, water!" The orders kept coming to the others, but the airbender quickly walked towards their bag of clothes, pulling their old ones, those they didn't wear any longer, out of it, and quickly making rags of them with Sokka's knife. As he turned around, he could see an earth tent, erected around Ying, and Toph who stood to the side of it, clearly disoriented.
He quickly walked towards the tent, and crossed paths with Sokka, who held her poach in his arms, filled to the brink with liquid.
As they entered, Aang saw… well, something he would rather not have seen, to be honest. Of course, he knew the differences between men and women… But to see it like that, with the beginning of a head sticking out of it? Well, no.
Next to him, Sokka also looked, and Aang saw him go pale, before falling down.
"Aang, get that water lily out of here." The waterbender commanded, and he was more than happy to comply. Grabbing the water tribe boy under his arms, he dragged him outside, where Toph was laughing her butt off.
"Meathead fainted at the sight of what he likes the most if his boasting is to be believed! Oh, thank the spirits!" She cackled. Aang had to admit, it was funny. The water tribe warrior always made dirty jokes or insinuated things that were not quite kid friendly. And for him to faint at the sight! Oh, just perfect.
As he listened to the grunts and cries, the airbender began to walk towards their belongings. He knew there was nothing to wrap the child in. They had no blankets to spare, and what they had was too thin for a newborn child. But he knew of one thing.
Grabbing his own chest, he opened it with the key that the waterbender had given him on their way out of the desert. He had not known why she had locked it. But he suspected it had saved it from being thrown away or traded. Like Appa.
There were still his possessions. The candles… the incense… Several scrolls and his sewing kit. But he knew what he was looking for. Pulling everything out, he came to the bottom. It wasn't a big chest, only holding those small items… and one thing, he had not told anyone about. There was a little blanket, of that saffron yellow that his people used for nearly everything. It had been made of thick bison fur, so he knew it was warm. Wrapped inside it, was the flute he had been given by Monk Tashi at the tattoo ceremony. He pulled it out, put everything back, and walked back, with the blanket on his arm.
"What is that?" Sokka, who apparently had come back to his senses, asked when the airbender sat down next to him. The grunting was more forcefully now, and longer. Any minute now…
"Something for that child." Aang stated, not looking at the older boy.
"Ah, so there is still a heart in there." Sokka laughed.
Several minutes later, they heard a cry from a newborn child. Aang smiled. He couldn't help it. It felt so… nice, to hear such a normal sign of new life. Even in this war-torn moment, people lived like they always had done…
The waterbender stepped outside the tent. Aang looked up, and saw how the long hair had been pulled out of her braid, and she looked positively spent.
"You should come see this." She said, looking intensely at him. She had said it to the group, but for some reason, he knew it was more for his benefit.
They walked into the tent, and the family in front of him made the last walls around his heart disappear. How the woman was cradling the small baby in her arms. How the man was looking over his wife's shoulder, eyes shining from pure happiness. The new aunt, smiling at the couple and their child.
Aang felt a smile find its way to his lips. He couldn't help it. It was just so beautiful. He felt the waterbender's eyes fixed upon him. He didn't need to look to know she was watching him.
"What should we name her?" Than asked his wife.
"I want our daughter's name to be unique… I want it to mean something!" Ying sounded exhausted, but also, exhilarated.
He stepped forward.
"I've been going through a really hard time lately… But you've made me… Hopeful again." He smiled at the child, who was pressing itself against her mother's breast.
Ying looked at him, and also smiled.
"I know what I want to name our baby… Hope."
Oh… Well… It was not a name Aang would have chosen… He found it a little… well, it was a word. Not a name. Why not find something nicer? With that kind of name, the child would be the laughingstock at school…
"That's a perfect name." Than smiled. Aang didn't voice his own disgust at the name. It was their decision.
"I also have something for you." He said, handing them the blanket, "it is for the child. You don't seem to have clothes for it now, and this is the best I could do."
"Thank you, Avatar Aang." Than smiled.
The airbender quickly walked outside, while the others began to look at the child. He felt tears stream out of his eyes. He also knew that if he was alone, a certain waterbender was sure to follow, like she always did. In a good way.
At that moment, Aang decided two things. Made two choices that could change his path.
After several minutes, he heard a voice behind him.
"Hey… So… Where did that came from?" he could hear the smile in her voice.
"From my chest. It was mine when I was a baby." He said, also smiling.
"Aang… Why are you here alone?"
The airbender exhaled. It was good to hear her voice. It was good to feel things again.
"I wanted to talk to you." He said, gently, turning around, "I want to go look for Appa. Ying will need care for the moment… But I need to go." He had decided that just a minute ago. He needed to go look for his bison. That was his hope. And something else.
"I'm glad to hear you say that… You had me worried Aang." He could see the relief on the waterbender's beautiful face.
"I'm so sorry… Katara…" Only saying her name again filled him with such joy he had not felt for a long time. "Katara… I can't apologize enough for what I put you through…"
Katara leapt towards him, enveloping him in her arms. He put his own arms around her slender frame, relieved at feeling her again against him.
"Don't apologize! You don't need to, I understand. Please, just never shut me out again! I was afraid I lost you…" She muttered against his shoulder.
"I thought I was trying to be strong, but I was just running away from my feelings." He whispered back, putting a hand against the back of her head, cradling it. He could feel the stress and remorse flow out of him.
"Seeing this family… It reminded me how I feel about Appa." He said gently, before creating just enough space between them so to look into her eyes. "How I feel about you."
Her eyes, looking at him, went wide. Aang knew he had said something that could change everything between them. But he wanted to. That was the other thing he had decided upon.
"I'll go look for Appa. And then, when we reunite in the city… Could we talk?" He asked. No hesitation, no awkwardness. He knew what he wanted.
"Of course. We'll talk," Katara answered, smiling. He released her, seeing from the corner of his eyes Toph, standing in the shadow of the tree, with her thumbs up, and grinning. Weird girl.
It could only be better from now on.
Answers :
CoyoteLemon : Well, there is hope now!
TheQuietReader23 : Of course a Toph/Aang scene was needed! The poor girl needed it! And well, I think you are going to like their next talk much more!
Gabriela N. Gonzalez : I like the ideas I have for the next chapters! Who are going to be much more uplifting than depressed Aang!
Ashley Barbosa : Yeah, I think an older Toph would be much more open to talking, and certainly to tell what need to be said!