Chapter 12: Fanservice is really a serious business and you shouldn't let anyone tell you that it was not important!
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"Unh... umm..."
If possible he wanted to look up, but it's hard... don't you think? I mean, after that embarrassing attempt on the last chapter...
It's so hard being serious for too long, right? When your character was more often treated as a gag character and in between that you suddenly went serious, that felt weird. Right? And even when you wanted to go back to being funny, things don't usually come out well also. For example, in your head you're doing this funny thing and you're amused at yourself (and of course you need to laugh at your own self before trying to make other people laugh.) But it's so hard, being spontaneous is hard... being funny was hard, especially when your fingers were not completely in sync with your brain. Like, get over it! Enough fumbling with your fingers, Gin-san! I know that your fingers are fat but you can do it... ah!
"Gin-san? Are you all right?"
Gintoki looked up without thinking and there it was... Otae-san's face on max zoom! Aah... after getting exposed to the sight for too long (even more than Gin-chan normally would) it felt weird. What is this? Gin-chan being scared of getting cooties from a gorilla woman? But no! I mean... for this particular gorilla woman, perhaps the prospect of getting cooties from her shouldn't really be so bad for him—oh no, oh gosh! What am I saying—?
"Gin-san? Are you really fine?"
Gintoki blinked, before looking down on himself as it started to register in his mind that he was struggling in vain just trying to put his boots on. What was he... a cherry boy now? Why was he acting like some bashful teenage boy to this gorilla woman—
"Gin-san? It's fine that you wanted to keep talking in your own monologue now, but we still have to get on with the story..."
Gintoki turned his glance towards Otae as he hastily put on his boots. Properly this time.
"Ah, I'm sorry—Gosh, how many times have I said that in this fic and Miss Writer's other earlier works? I need to stop doing that!"
"And Gin-san?"
"Huh?"
"Stop typing your own narration and let Miss Writer continue with this chapter."
Heat came back on Gin-chan's cheeks as he put away the cell phone he was holding.
Yes, I know! This was the last addition!
xxx
"You don't need to walk me out, I can leave by myself—"
Tae quickly slipped into her slippers as she hurried towards his side. "It's all right. After all, this chapter would be the last one where I'll make an appearance. I should be making full use of it in any case." She sighed.
"What a shame... our attempt at giving fanservice at the end of the last chapter didn't quite work the way we wanted."
Gintoki immediately turned towards Tae in alarm. "Otae-chan? C-can we drop that subject already? We should just forget that it ever happen—"
Tae cocked her head to the side. "Should I have been a lot more daring and shameless earlier? Should I just grab Gin-san's butt cheeks with both hands and squeeze it as hard as I can, like that time when I saw that abominable thing on his chest the day Gin-san had turned into Ginko during that Dekobokko Arc?"
Gintoki immediately felt shivers running through his spine as his eyes kept focusing on Otae's hands that now seemed to already be in the middle of crushing someone's imaginary butt. Blood and heat rushed into his face as he squealed at her in alarm.
"Can you stop that, Otae-chan? Can we already stop talking about this topic? You're starting to scare Gin-chan, Otae-chan!"
"Ara?" Otae turned towards him, looking so innocently. "What're you talking about now—and why are you clutching on your butt as if you're afraid that it might drop off you any moment?"
Gin immediately held his hands out as if he was suddenly poked with an electric prod. "Ahahaha, what? I wasn't doing anything—Gin-chan wasn't doing anything like that? Why are we suddenly talking about grabbing my butt?"
Tae flashed an evil smile—yes he definitely saw that! Don't even try to deny it!—before reverting back to her innocent demeanour.
"Oh? Gin-san? Weren't you aware of how deliciously plump your butt has been all these times? I swear that no one sane would take a look at your butt and didn't want to molest it even once! They were so alluring... Gin-san's butts. It reminded me of this K-drama I watched called Bottam*, where this aunty was commenting about how the main character's butt was massive and his chest is firm. It gave me this same feeling when I look at you... It made me want to hold you tight when you appear glum!"
Gintoki stared at Tae in fear as he wrapped his arm around himself.
"O-Otae-chan? Are you alright? Why are you like this—seriously you're scaring me—I didn't remember you to be this perverted for anyone? H-have you been abducted by aliens in between the chapters without me realizing? Have Saa-chan brainwashed you without me knowing?"
"What? Weren't we talking about getting more readers interested in reading and leaving comments and kudos on this fanfic? I mean, when it comes to giving fanservice we shouldn't take the matter too lightly. Fanservice is really a serious business! As we already realize from the last chapter."
Gintoki covered his face with his hands, feeling almost on the verge of wanting to cry. "Oh my god, please save me..."
"How about it? Should I just make a grab for it now? It's our last chance to make another memorable Gintae moment on this fic!" said Tae excitedly.
"Please, Otae-chan—!"
Without any warning, the front gate suddenly start to open as Shinpachi poked his head inside. Gintoki heaved a long sigh of relief. I'm saved!
xxx
Shinpachi stared at his two elders as Kagura silently nibbled on her sukonbu.
"Sis... Gin-san? What're you two doing?" he asked as both Tae and Gintoki stood up straight to face them.
Tae laughed nonchalantly. "It's nothing serious, Shin-chan! It's just that... there was a BIG spider on Gin-san's butt just now so I was trying to catch it!"
Shinpachi turned his attention towards Gintoki as the man also started to laugh his concerns away.
"Ah yes... I was about to get on my way when this big SPIDER came out of nowhere!"
Kagura let out a long sigh as she cocked her head towards them. "So... Boss-sis, Gin-chan... did you guys managed to get any result from your fanservice—?"
"AHH! Kagura-chan where did you hear about such a thing? Gin-chan doesn't approve of this way of talking! There wasn't such a thing at all! Don't even keep such term inside your head or even attempt it!"
"Ara?" Shinpachi made a face at them. "But I thought I heard you guys arguing about it fifteen minutes ago. Your voices sounded like you're arguing from the backyard and then got quiet. If not because I could hear you two coming out towards the gate I'd think something really bad could've happened tonight!"
Gintoki hurriedly waved his hand away. "What something 'bad'? Nothing like that would ever happen..." He sneaked a glance towards Otae before turning his attention back towards the kids.
"Anyway, we weren't talking about doing anything like fanservicing just now..." he let out a cough as he noticed Kagura looking at him in disbelief. "But we HAVE been concerned about something else. I mean... obviously, the concern was valid—especially for Otae-san—since this chapter would be the last in this fanfic where she'll be making her appearance."
That immediately caught Kagura's attention as the little girl hurried towards Otae's side. "Oh right! That's awful, we really should do something about it. Boss-sis, let's grab Gin-chan's butt togeth—!"
"WOI! HOLD ON TO YOUR HORSES! SPARE MY BUTT FROM ALL OF THIS! Also Kagura? Did you hear that—have you been listening to everything that was happening here earlier? You acted like you haven't noticed anything funny happening but you have, right?"
Shinpachi hurriedly pulled Gintoki away from the girls as he tried to calm everyone. "Maa... maa... I'm sure this is all just a huge misunderstanding—but did I hear this right Gin-san? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MAKE MY SIS WANT TO GRAB ONTO YOUR BUTT?"
"AAAH! SHINPACHI! PLEASE, NOT YOU TOO!"
xxx
Otae gave them a smile as she place a hand on Kagura's shoulder. "Take care of yourselves at Akihabara, don't forget to eat and work hard! Also, Kagura-chan... remember to watch over Gin-san so that he wouldn't get into any kind of trouble. If any of you get hurt, please don't hesitate to call me for help."
Gintoki scratched his head in annoyance. "You really don't have to worry too much about me. It's not like I intentionally want to get into trouble. And why you're treating me like some kid—" he turned his attention towards Shinpachi before continuing, "—and oh, call me first before you head over later so that I could pick you up. Since Zura already offered his help to us I don't want to endanger him and his men as well by you blindly trying to find his place. Especially with the Shogunate being on high alert right now..."
Shinpachi just shrugged at him. "Don't worry about me. I'll be sure to be very careful when I come over tomorrow."
"Then see ya..." Gintoki started to say before his eyes turned back towards Otae. "Take very good care of yourself."
Otae nodded slowly as Gintoki turned around and dragged Kagura along with him. Kagura gave Otae a long stare before wordlessly waving her hand towards her...
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They barely walked past an intersection before he noticed something odd. Gintoki stopped before looking down towards Kagura.
"Kagura-chan, Kagura-chan... why was your hair wet? Have you been playing in the rain all day today?" Gintoki gasped. "Have you been sitting in front of the gate with Shinpachi while being drenched top to bottom? In the cold? I thought I raised you better than this, my dear girl!"
"Don't make a huge fuss, it's just my hair that's still damp. I've already changed out the wet clothes at the Yorozuya office."
"So you did play in the rain, didn't you?"
Kagura responded by digging her nose and flicking a booger at him. "It's not really my fault. Sadist really wanted to have a short spar and I have to go all-out on him."
"Heeeh... so how's that teeny sadist now? Has he recovered his injuries?"
"It didn't look like they were getting any worse so it should mean that he's getting better. But Gin-chan, he kept whining like a baby as if he's the only one with injuries... what a wuss."
"Try at least to give him a break, not too literally. Not always he got to meet someone tougher than me in battle. The kid should be fine with those other guys, we won't have to worry too much about them."
"Who said that I was worried about that sadist? So Gin-chan, what else happened between you and Boss-sis earlier? Did something nice happened?"
"Pfft! Mind your own little business!"
Bottam*: This was a reference to a Kdrama called Bossam. The first episode was really fun, I tell ya.