Chapter 14: There wasn't much difference between being fearful or cautious when dealing with something that you couldn't quite understand. Making a decision out of it wasn't something that can be done in a blink of an eye.
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He thrust his shinai to his left, before being parried to the right. He thought that maybe he could find an opening if he made a feint and lunged at him from above (it worked on Shinsuke, three times out of four so he thought that it might work!) but his attack was easily blocked and Gintoki found himself thrown out on his back.
"Oww!" he started to groan as Gintoki picked himself back up. He rubbed the sore part on his right where Shouyou's shinai had hit him. "Damn, not yet."
He forced himself on his feet as he refused to give up. "My sword isn't broken yet!" Gintoki summoned all of his remaining strength again as he shouted towards his master.
"One more time! Shouyou!" he shouted as he lunged towards Shouyou again...
.
"You nearly had me there, Gintoki..."
There he goes again, trying to convince him that his earlier attempts at defeating him actually made some progress. That he was actually able to get close enough to get past his master's defence, when actually... he never managed to score one hit. Ever!
"Sensei, where exactly did you say that I got near to?" Gintoki barely worded out his annoyance at the man beside him. His head was still sore from the two hits he received, his cheeks still throbbed that he could barely open up his mouth to speak clearly. How the hell did he mean about him getting closer... when Shouyou didn't even get any scratch from him.
"Over there..."
"Could you be more specific?"
"As I thought, it's really around there.."
Gintoki rolled his eyes. What did he expect to hear from this idiot?
"Shouyou. What should I do so that I could become as strong as you?" he started to ask in earnest. "I have never lost a fight until I met you, not even when I was fighting against an adult. You're not just like any simple adult guy... you're more like a giant."
Shouyou turned his head towards him as the man flashed his usual elusive smile at him.
"You're wrong, Gintoki. Actually... I prefer to be Hanshin."
"Sensei, are you listening to me?" Gintoki snapped as Shouyou's lame jokes annoyed him again. "I'm saying that I've never seen a monster like you anywhere!"
He sighed. "Before we met, what have you been doing by yourself? Who the hell ARE you actually?"
Shouyou shrugged at him.
"As someone who used to be called the 'corpse-eating oni' in the past, I think you should be able to understand this. Whether it was a monster or a child of a monster, they were all the same." Gintoki frowned as he recalled the faint memories when he used to still be inside that valley of death, alone by himself.
"They are both inhuman beings that are only born within a bloody pool of sin. And a monster's sword cannot cut another monster..."
Shouyou turned his attention towards Gintoki again.
"That's why Gintoki... you need to stop trying to get stronger by imitating me. I have no intention of teaching you my sword, either. You need to grow stronger than me by using your own sword, the sword of a human..."
.
...
Yes... that was what Shouyou used to say to him. That was why, day by day... he continued to keep practising on his own, to find his own style of swordsmanship. Even if he has to do it without Shouyou's help—even when the man initially told him that he would.
"I expect great things from you..."
Those words from Shouyou, had always been what he held dear in his heart. So even when he had no interest in fighting for the country, for whatever glory that could have come afterwards... he continued to fight!
"So someday hopefully..."
Suddenly, Gintoki found himself back on Kokujou Island... battling the monster that looked like the master whom he used to know and loved dearly. That monster rose back up towards him, looking up as he spoke to him with his cold voice.
"...you'll come at me to cut down the monster that I am."
Somehow, everything around him started to fade into black and white as the man—no, monster—in front of him refused to fall dead. He couldn't believe it, why wouldn't the monster die already? No matter how many times he swung his sword towards that monster, it seemed as if it did NOTHING to that monster!
"It's too bad..."
The monster took hold of the blade of the sword he was holding, as somehow, the blade started to corrode into rust and fade away...
"Didn't I tell you this? A monster's sword..."
"Your sword... cannot reach me."
Gintoki lifted his head towards the monster, as the monster started to smile. Rather than giving him the usual fluttering feeling that he used to feel whenever he saw those smiles directed to him, THIS monster's smile... only left him feeling full of dread.
The monster lifted the sword he was holding as he slammed down the blade onto his head!
Gintoki woke up with a start—as he gradually realized that everything was actually just part of yet another of his nightmare. He hadn't gone back towards the time of his childhood, practising his swordsmanship with Shouyou—nor has he gone back to battling a pointless battle with the monster Utsuro, with no end in sight. So he hadn't actually been impaled by—
"It's just a dream..." he told himself as he tried to gather his wits again. But then, as he closed his eyes to calm himself he couldn't help feeling that there WAS something on top of his head. He opened his eyes again.
There was something 'familiar' about that off white thing in front of his eyes as well as the odd pressure that kept pressing on top of his head...
There was no Utsuro's sword that currently threatened to slice his head apart right now. Yet there's still another 'sword' that tried to do the same thing onto him!
Gintoki grabbed the wooden sword that he kept by his side as he did what anyone in their right minds would do when caught in this kind of ridiculous situation—!
It turned out that she didn't really need Otae-san's directions to try locating the place where Gintoki and the rest of his friends were hiding at Akihabara. Because she could just follow the sound of chaos and she will immediately be directed towards the person she was looking for. As expected, no matter what situation was pushed towards that lot... those guys would never stop from being such a rowdy bunch. No matter where they ended up going to...
She picked up a flyer that fell on the road before looking up to the loud bunch a few metres in front of her.
Nobume sighed in amusement, as she watch Gintoki arguing with Katsura and his kids over some nonsense while attracting the attention of every nerd and weirdos that were hanging out on this particular street. She caught the sound of phone keys being pressed as Nobume turned around to see a random nerd starting to call someone on the phone.
She started to walk calmly past those people nearby as she swiftly executed her expert swordplay. Cries of random nerds and weirdos started to increase from behind her as Nobume sheathed her sword. She continued to approach the rowdy Yorozuya bunch.
"Excuse me, I'm here because I saw the flyers..." Gintoki and the others stopped arguing as they turned their attention towards her.
"Yorozuya Gin-chan Akiba Branch... do you mind if I make a request?"
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They hastily fled towards a quieter area as they barely evaded catching the attention of the patrol officers who have been patrolling nearby. Nobume sighed.
"Looks like you'll need to relocate again, Yorozuya-san."
"Right back at you," said Gintoki in return. The man smiled. "I would've thought that you'd left Edo long ago..."
"I've got my own job to do... as Sasaki Isaburo's comrade, as well as one of Shouyou's pupils."
Honestly... what was it that people expected him to do? After everything that has happened so far, do people still expect him to know what was it that they should do regarding everything?
That said, to think that while they were having their own crisis—to attempt to rescue the former Commissioner-General and Chief of Shinsengumi from being executed—Takasugi's group were also facing their own crises, trying to preserve their lives while being chased out by the whole of Harusame.
So that guy still hasn't recovered from that injury back then? But then, Takasugi did get hit on his vital organs by that guy...
Was he dead now? There's no way that guy would—if anyone should claim the rights to take that guy's life, that person should be HIM. Sakata Gintoki! No one else should be allowed to claim Takasugi's life other than him! That guy should still be alive somewhere, he must be! There's no way that Takasugi would be defeated like this!
"Who the hell ARE you actually?"
That said... to think that only now he got to find out the things that Shouyou had always been hiding from him. Was the reason why Shouyou always avoided answering his questions directly and giving him way too many lame jokes because Shouyou didn't want him to know about this? Was that why Shouyou told him not to imitate his sword style, and why that man told him that he would not teach him his sword?
Because Shouyou didn't want him to learn the sword techniques of a former leader of Naraku?
He sighed.
Then again, how could that fool even tell a mere child about such dark secrets? Even when that child was not just any normal child? When the child in question had been the corpse-eating oni?
"As someone who used to be called the 'corpse-eating oni' in the past, I think you should be able to understand this."
"They are both inhuman beings that are only born within a bloody pool of sin. And a monster's sword cannot cut another monster..."
But perhaps now he could understand Shouyou even more than how he used to. Perhaps now he could understand the reason why that person said his thanks to him, even as he was about to cut him down in order to save his friends.
Yet...
What was it that he was supposed to do now? What was it that he was supposed to do as Shouyou's disciple?
How could he attempt to cut down a monster with the sword of a human... when this child of a monster doesn't even know what it means to wield the sword as a human?
"If Takasugi was alive, what would he say about this?"
Gintoki resisted the urge to turn around as Katsura continued to speak behind him. Because of course, aside from him... Zura must have also been shocked to hear about the things that had been said about Shouyou.
"If he were to find out that our teacher was the one who created this world, I'd be lying if I say that I didn't find this shocking."
"But it's also true that a part of me that thinks that this makes sense."
Gintoki bit his lips. As expected, only Zura would be able to compose himself calmly like this... even after receiving such a shocking revelation.
The man continued, "Yoshida Shouyou was a bright light that shone upon us. But looking back, that vacant look he would sometimes have in his eyes might have been him staring at the giant abyss of his past."
So Zura did notice that. Guess he wasn't the only one who thought of Shouyou as a beacon of light that shone into his life. Then again, the same should be said about Takasugi.
Though, those beacons of light of theirs... most likely were a lot different than his beacon of light.
"I may never know why he spent years in the Naraku, and then left it and started the Shoka Sonjuku school. But I do know, that the person who smiled at that school back then, was undoubtedly our sensei..."
"And I do know what I ought to do now as Yoshida Shouyou's disciple."
Gintoki thought of that day when he first met Shoyo, and all those subsequent days they had spent together before Shouyou decided to start that school of his. And his mind inevitably summoned back the memories of him encountering and clashing swords against Utsuro...
"Zura, that's not Shouyou," he finally spoke as he sensed that his friend was about to walk away.
"A monster's sword cannot cut down another monster..."
Gintoki recalled the words that Shouyou used to tell him before. Back then, he thought that Shouyou was only talking about the two of them when it comes to their skills in wielding the sword. That he wouldn't be able to defeat Shouyou if he only imitate the sword techniques that Shouyou used. But the more he thought about it, perhaps Shouyou was also talking about his own self.
A monster's sword cannot cut down another monster... meaning, Shouyou's sword cannot cut down—!
"It was something else, something not even Shouyou could defeat."
He thought about the dream—nightmare—that he had earlier. If that dream had truly conveyed Shouyou's intentions to him that he never realised before, then it could be possible that Shouyou really DID wish for him to cut him down with his sword. That 'thank you' from before... was that it?
But back then, the only person he had killed with his sword was Shouyou. Not Utsuro.
"Shouyou died back then... that's what Takasugi would say."
Indeed... that's what that guy would've said.
"I see. Even so, Gintoki..."
"...this time it was my turn to do something. I cannot make you cut down our teacher again."
He could hear the soft pitter-patter of Zura's footsteps as his friend finally left him. Gintoki sighed as he remembered what Oboro has said, while they were at Kokujou Island.
"Shiroyasha. No matter how many times you cut him down, you can't escape... the karma you took upon yourself back then."
"So someday, hopefully... you'll come at me to cut down the monster that I am."
Gintoki chuckled mirthlessly.
Honestly, Zura... do you really think you and I had any choice on who would be the one to carry the burden of everything?
A/N: I'm trying hard not to recreate the whole episode 1 and 2 of the Rakuyo arc, yet still needing to conclude this piece in a few more chapters. So yeah, ganbarimasu!
Honestly, as much as I only actually started writing out this chapter this year... I've been envisioning this scene for like how many years since before the long hiatus.
Do try to leave some comments cos I really want to know if I actually managed to convey everything that I've pictured in my mind properly into this chapter.