Chapter Three: Why They're Here
It took about an hour for the crimson haired woman to finally stand on her own two feet without being overcome by extreme dizziness. Her favorite chibi space marine was still apologizing and clucking over her like a mother chicken. While she waited for her body to regain its proper equilibrium, she asked Theta if he could interface with the VIC artificial intelligence unit situated in the underground caverns, but to do so without being detected.
"Why would you want me to do that?" The purplish pink space marine asked, wondering what she had in mind.
Contrary to popular belief, Theta or any AI...fragment or not...could not be fully aware of all of their host's thoughts, but given enough time, he would probably start noticing a pattern and begin mapping out her general thought processes. If he doesn't then Delta, when he becomes available, most certainly will.
"I want access to the surveillance cameras to check up on the Red team since I can't do it physically right now." She answered before mumbling, "Besides, that fucking asshat, Florida, would flip his shit if I went traipsing off without telling him."
The sweet, little space marine giggled a little at her mumbling and did as she asked. Accessing the surveillance cameras was quite simple and it turned out that they were on a different system that the Vic AI only had remote access to. Theta projected the footage in front of her like a floating holographic screen which was kind of fucking awesome.
There was the orange, more like the color called macaroni and cheese and yes it was in her crayon box as a kid and no she did not try to eat it, and the maroon armored soldiers, to which she used the term soldier lightly, gabbing away until they were interrupted by their commanding officer, Sarge.
"Private Grif! Did you send in the order for a new Jeep?" The man in standard issued red armor demanded.
"Uh...probably?" Grif responded lazily.
"He took a nap in the middle of filing the paperwork, but I finished it for him, sir." Simmons informed like the brown noser he was.
Ironically, the maroon armored soldier was reprimanded for doing a duty that was not assigned to him to start with, then both he and Grif were punished by having to do push-ups. The orange space marine warned their leader about Simmons being a loose cannon and Sarge somewhat decided to call bullshit on that statement.
"Who? Me? Nah, I just want to make sure we establish a good working relationship." Grif lied smoothly.
Bullshit indeed.
After her equilibrium returned, she went in search of Agent Florida...no, he was just Captain Butch Flowers now. That was going to be annoying...meh, she'll just keep calling him Cappy since she called him that anyways. She did wonder why it made him so happy when she called him by that nickname.
"Of course he's happy, Artz. You were the one that gave it to him." Theta spoke, surprising her, "You had nicknames for everyone."
Seriously? Just how many of the damn Freelancers was she friends with?!
"I wouldn't call him a friend per se, more like an idiot that liked to make fun of your boyfriend and not the good kind either. He was really mean sometimes, but once word got out that you were actually dating Wash, he backed off a bit but not completely." The chibi space marine answered, temporarily forgetting her reaction to Agent Washington's name from before, but nothing happened this time.
That was it...that was the reason why Agent Florida always rubbed her the wrong way. He was being a dick towards the guy she...loved...ah man, she really wished she could remember what it felt like to be in love with someone.
"Hey, it's okay! You'll remember eventually. You just need to be patient. Once the others have agreed that you're fully healed, they'll start restoring your memories. They'll have to go slow or risk a long list of possible brain injuries that could turn you into an invalid, leave you in a vegetable-like state, or outright kill you." The purplish pink, holographic soldier replied, trying to cheer her up.
The attempt was appreciated, but to not remember that you loved someone but know that you had felt absolutely wretched. She could only imagine how David must be feeling right now.
"He doesn't know you're alive." Theta spoke softly, making her stop in her tracks and her eyes wide in shock, "He had been in the room when you suddenly flat lined. Your heart didn't beat for eight minutes and forty seven seconds. The only reason why you survived at all was because of us. We managed to keep your brain active while the Director retrieved a healing unit which restarted your heart.
I had never seen the Director be so emotional. He actually cried tears of relief, not a lot but just a few. He recovered pretty quickly, but it was clear that he cared for you very much and was so glad that he was able to save your life. I did some poking around while you were watching the Red team and that's how I know that Wash believes you're dead.
You were right about Councilor Price. Not only did he issue the gag order on Agent Florida, but he also managed to convince the Director that it was for your own safety that no one knows you're still alive. He also said that it would be wise to keep you close to the Alpha in order to stabilize him and keep him from going anywhere. I think the Director only agreed because Agent Maine was hunting down and stealing the other AI fragments and was afraid that he would learn about us being inside your head. I think the Director was just being an idiot."
No, Theta. He wasn't being an idiot. He was beginning to suspect that there was more to Councilor Aiden Price than he once believed and it took her dying, albeit briefly, for him to come to that very disturbing realization.
"Oh...I hadn't thought of that. Huh?" Theta began, only to be distracted, "You might want to hurry up. The Alpha, I mean Private Church, is starting to wake up."
Private Leonard Church was seriously confused. His last memory was his girlfriend, Tex, killing all the members of his team on Sidewinder and beating Private Jimmy to death with his own skull which did not seem physically possible, but there was also another memory of a beautiful red haired girl with kind blue eyes. Who was she? She kind of felt like a sister to him, well more like a mother but they had been roughly the same physical age though he was pretty sure that he was taller. What was her name and why wasn't she here? She needed to be here and for the life of him, he didn't know why.
"Where is she?" He asked his commanding officer, Captain Butch Flowers.
"Where is who, Private? Who are you talking about? Your girlfriend…" The aqua colored space marine began.
The captain was cut off by the sudden arrival of the very woman he had been asking about and in an instant, he knew who she was.
"Artz!" He exclaimed, his heart feeling like it was soaring through the clouds.
The crimson haired woman smiled brightly at him, her deep sapphire eyes sparkling with happiness and amusement.
"Well hello to you too, Sleeping Beauty. How's the head? Still aching no doubt. That's what you get for trying to run across my freshly mopped floor without a care in the world. I would really hate to lose my unofficially adopted big brother because of his own idiocy." She replied cheekily.
Yep, definitely Artz alright. It was coming back to him a little. Artz Lanaria was a sassy and sarcastic little shit with a heart of gold and a bad habit of befriending just about everyone or trying to at the very least. He seemed to recall that she and his girlfriend were actually pretty close and that she used to date some guy called David. Huh, wonder what happened to that moron?
"Now Artz, there's no need to be so mean spirited towards your teammate." The captain interjected, earning him an unladylike snort from the redhead.
"He's your teammate. Just because I live at Blue base doesn't mean that I'm officially aligned with the Blue army. I'm actually a neutral contractor since resources are stretched pretty thin at the moment so, I'm on loan to both armies. Which means that once everyone has gotten settled in, I'll be conducting the rounds over at Red base, but don't worry, it shouldn't take too long." She retorted, dismissively.
"Army? Are we fighting a war or something?" Church asked, belatedly realizing that he was decked out in steel blue armor.
The captain or the ginger haired woman didn't have time to reply before a soldier in standard issue blue armor ran into their midst.
"Hello? Oh hey, Captain!" The new guy greeted before noticing the presence of Artz, "Oh hey, baby, you are still as sexy as ever I see."
Church almost punched the guy had it not been for the redhead rolling her eyes in a fond manner.
"It's about time you showed up, Private Tucker. Tucker, I'd like you to meet your fellow comrade, Private Church." She introduced nodding in his direction.
"Sup, are you a chick too?" The new guy asked with a complete lack of tact.
"No!" The steel blue armored soldier snapped.
He was really starting to get annoyed with this guy. A few more quips from the idiot and he wanted to shoot him in the fucking face. The only reason he wasn't going to do that was because his unofficially adopted younger sister was silently laughing. At least she was happy, he'd deal with anything to keep her smiling. He wondered briefly why that desire was so strong. He wished he could remember more of their time together. Oh well, he'd just have to get to know her again.
Once things had settled down a bit and she had agreed that they could do a scouting mission while she was checking in with the Red team, she meandered her way across the box canyon. On the way, she started to think things over. For the most part, their time in Blood Gulch was actually going to be quite boring. The Red vs Blue series only depicted the more eventful or meaningful types of stuff and kind of glossed over all the in between bits like the three month period after Tex was blown up by Donut and the fourteen months that Church had spent on his own at some remote and abandoned outpost.
"How about a hobby?" Theta suggested.
But what kind of hobby would keep her mind occupied for such extended lengths of time?
Imagine her shock when a green colored, holographic space marine suddenly appeared in front of her. Fortunately, all of her practice with Theta appearing at random allowed her to mask her reaction somewhat effectively. Not completely, mind you, she did pause for a few seconds before continuing on her way.
"Might I suggest that you take this opportunity to learn the violin?" The AI fragment she knew to be Delta suggested.
"Delta?! What are you doing out here? Is it safe for her to have us both out now or do I need to go back to the others to help out?" Theta questioned worriedly.
"There is no need for concern, Theta. I have recently discovered that Artz is in possession of a highly advanced artificial intelligence unit known as Cortana. She is currently housed within Artz's subconscious mind and has now been sufficiently activated so that my assistance is no longer required." Delta answered in his normal logical manner.
Lovely, another voice in her head. Boy was it going to get crowded in here.
"You don't have to worry, Artz. We all agreed that only two of us can be out at any given time so as to not overwhelm you." Her favorite chibi space marine chimed in.
"Now about my suggestion, Artz. You have always held the desire to learn the violin since your fixation of the dubstep violinist, Lindsey Stirling. Would this be an adequate usage of your time?" The green AI fragment persisted.
Lindsey Stirling, dubstep, why was it so hazy?
"Ah apologies, it would seem some of your memories have been inadvertently suppressed due to their connection to certain memories of your time within Project Freelancer, but yes, you have a deep love for the violin and Miss Stirling's ability to dubstep while playing said instrument. You also enjoyed the musical talents of the vocalist named Peter Hollens and the acapella group known as Pentatonix." Delta explained.
"Maybe she can use the violin to help recover some of her memories without hurting her in the process!" Theta exclaimed excitedly.
"That is a very wise idea, Theta." The green space marine confirmed.
Which was probably why he suggested it in the first place...sneaky, very sneaky, Delta.
Atop a nearby cliff were the three current members of the Blue team stationed in Blood Gulch. Private Tucker was commenting on the sweet looking sniper rifle currently being utilized by one Captain Butch Flowers and the Captain promised that he could use it if they went on another scouting mission in the future.
They watched Artz enter the base and she didn't reappear until the red armored one confronted the orange and maroon marines. Captain Flowers could see how hard it was for her to keep her laughter silent. By all the stars in the sky above, why didn't she ever take anything seriously? After a moment's thought, he decided that he preferred her laid back demeanor as opposed to the 'still kind but so stoic that you could never truly guess what I am thinking' state of being.
He remembered how she had been while they had been a part of Project Freelancer. She was much more reserved, cautious, calculating, and the epitome of resolve, but after losing her memories of that time and from whatever the UNSC had done to her, it's like it reset her personality to the way it used to be; kind, caring, compassionate, a love for satirical humor...huh...he just described how she was when she was dating Agent Washington. He had somehow helped her find what she once thought was no longer within her reach.
He was swearing a long list of profanities towards Councilor Aiden Price and the fucking Director for that matter. He was ordered to not utter a peep about anything related to her past and he fucking hated it. Look, he and Washington might not have meshed too well, but he believed that the guy should get his girl back, preferably with her memories of him at the very least. You know what, fuck the Director and the Councilor, he couldn't say anything but that didn't mean that he couldn't do anything.
"So, do we have a plan of attack?" The Alpha...Church asked, interrupting his more murderous thoughts.
"Attack? Oh no. No need to incite conflict, Private Church, especially with Miss Lanaria still with them. It's best to keep you and her out of harm's way for the time being." The Captain responded.
The Director and Agents Washington, Maine, Texas, North Dakota, York, and even Carolina, presently considered as killed in action which he highly doubted for some inexplicable reason, would murder him slowly and painfully if he let anything happen to the crimson haired woman and Artz would render a fate a thousand times worse than universal entropy upon him if anything happened to Private Church.
"And me too, right Captain Flowers?" Private Tucker chimed in.
Fuck, he actually forgot about him and given a certain redhead's fondness of the idiot...he resisted the urge to let out a long suffering sigh.
"Yes, whatever you say, Private Tucker. I'm very pleased with how all of this is coming together. I think everything is going to work out just fine." He replied...hopefully.
Later that day and after both Private Tucker and Private Church had gone off to bed, Artz Lanaria and Agent Florida made their way underground to the bunker that housed the VIC artificial intelligence unit. They activated the display and booted up the system.
"Greetings, Agent Florida and to you as well, Miss Artz. Do you have anything to report?" Vic asked in an official like tone.
It was weird to hear him sounding so proper. She was used to his more eccentric personality and that little jingle he did.
"Only that things are better than a cool glass of lemonade on a hot July afternoon, Vic. This quote, unquote war will be a stalemate for quite some time. Maybe up to fourteen seasons, if we're lucky." The aquamarine freelancer replied happily.
Wait, did he just break the fourth fucking wall just now because this set of events wasn't seen until the fourteenth season of Red vs Blue. What the fuck did she just witness?
"I'm sorry, sir?" Vic responded confused.
She would have been too if it hadn't been for her rather unique origins.
"Oh...uh...I...I prefer to think of the passage of time in terms of the four seasons as opposed to the standard Gregorian calendar." Agent Florida replied after a brief stutter.
Nice save there, Butch, real smooth recovery. Still, what the fuck was that?
"I believe that his exposure to you, someone that has traversed a rift in space/time, may have inadvertently influenced some of his mental processes, causing a slight distortion in the flow of time around him." Delta postulated.
Not everything could be explained with science, Delta, but feel free to run through the probabilities in your free time.
"Very well. I will do so at a later date. Oh, it appears that Agent Florida has injured himself." The green AI commented before disappearing.
And sure enough, there was Captain Butch Flowers on the floor, having apparently tripped and disconnected some sort of extension cord. It appeared to have led to the main console. Her attention was drawn to the sudden gibberish spewing from the artificial intelligence unit named Vic.
"Looks like you took a bit of a tumble my teal compadre." Vic commented, stating the obvious.
Artz reached out her hand and helped the space marine to his feet. He hobbled for a bit until he was finally able to steady himself.
"Might I suggest putting in a request to Command for some wet floor signs. I really don't want this to become a thing. We're going to have enough running gags as it is without you adding to them." The redhead suggested, thoroughly amused.
"Gosh, you may be right. Vic, please do as she asks and get those wet floor signs. You never can be too careful." Agent Florida agreed.
"You got it, diddlely dude. Remember, you need anything, just give your boy Vic a call at 555-VICK." The AI replied doing his little jingle.
She nearly cracked up on the spot, but managed to choke it down to a snort. She could practically feel Captain Butch Flowers giving her a look from inside his helmet.
"We'll be sure to do that, Vic. Catch you on the flip side, dude." Artz retorted, smirking.
"This is gonna run smoother than a baby's bottom, Cappy. Not that I would know. Can't have kids since the vasectomy...the fact I'm secretly a computer, but that's a story for another tittlety time. Point I'm trying to make, dude, is that I got a really good feeling about this Blood Gulch thing." Vic rambled as they left.
As they made their way to the surface, Delta reminded her that Agent Florida aka Captain Butch Flowers was going to be dead soon from an aspirin overdose and that his death was a set of events with a high probability of being completely unalterable. She knew it would be because if he didn't then Michael J. Caboose and Kaikaina Grif would not come to Blood Gulch. Caboose was a fucking necessity and even though Kaikaina didn't play a huge role, the lack of her presence could disrupt the time stream.
She really fucking hated temporal mechanics, but she was even more pissed off at Rooster Teeth for causing so much damn drama and not taking death seriously until fucking Season Fifteen! Even then, they turned dying into a fucking joke and unwrote some shit during the Everwhen arc. She sighed which earned her the attention of her heavily armored companion. He inquired about her well-being and she gently persuaded him that she was alright, though she got the feeling that he didn't actually believe her and just decided to drop the subject.
They exited the cave and returned to Blue base, only to discover it in shambles. Apparently, Tucker and Church had not gone to bed as they were supposed to but instead decided to wreak havoc on their new home. Captain Flowers watched on in amusement as the crimson haired woman scolded the two privates for making such a gigantic mess. She then ordered them to clean it up and that there would be no breakfast for them either.
Tucker pointed out that she was not their commanding officer, but the Captain stated that although she was a neutral contractor, her authority superseded his own and even he had to obey her orders. The private grumbled and trotted off to do as he was told. Church was about to argue as well, but she smacked him in the back of his head...fortunately, he was not in his armor at the time. Then he too went off to do as the red haired girl demanded. With that seen to, the woman out of time and suffering from amnesia decided that it was high time to finally get some rest. Thus began the Blood Gulch saga.