Chapter 22 - I want the real you
Huge Thanks to Walpurgis#5001 for editing this chapter! Honestly it's the best my chapters have looked. And for After-T13 for providing valuable proof reading. You both did a great job!
1 Week later.
The door clicks as it closes, I'm sitting on my bed. I want to get this all over with, I'm sick of all this and I want no one else to bother me.
"…"
"Hello, Jack."
'Oh No. No…I can't believe it.'
She was in full apparel, wearing a reflective coat. On the front it boldly says 'FBI' in yellow text. Her clipped on name card reads "Kelly Carter"
"How are you feeling?" She said, starting to walk around holding a laptop, some paper and a booklet.
"You're aren't going to hurt me or take me away are you?" I said almost immediately.
"You seem really agitated right now, you're all bushy. Everything is going to be alright, Jack. I'm not here to hurt you at all."
She sits down in my desk chair, and with a serious expression asks;
"Do you comprehend the circumstances of what happened around almost a week ago?"
I solemnly nod
"You really got into some big business, and from what I know, it was all an accident. You were really there with your friends and you were attacked."
"Yeah." I nod again
"Did you ever share contact with either Elemental Ferals?"
I shake my head profusely.
She gets up, and walks around my room, I make sure she doesn't do anything.
"I see you made a little pillow hut here, I really like it. Sorta like what someone would make at a slumber party."
She pokes around in it, much to my dismay. But there wasn't anything in it.
"Why did you make this?"
I sigh, shrug and give no response. I hop off the bed
"I could totally see why, yaknow. It's cool, you get to hide in it, it's… spooky. Things get intense outside, it's nice to have a safe place."
"Now, Jack. Have you ever experienced any, . . thoughts you never had before?" She Lowers her laptop to a page where I can type on
"Please type."
My fur is bristling so hard,
'Everything I do right now is going to be studied to hell and back. I have to be normal. normal as can be.'
I type down "No, I have not."
"Umbreon have a special bond with the moon, have you ever felt any relationship with the Moon?"
'Ah. Shit. If I say no then she will definitely know I'm lying. I have to be emotional with this, I have to show I'm human.'
I type down "Yes, at night. 3 times"
She doesn't look surprised.
'…'
"Please don't hurt me." I add on.
Now she looks sad.
"Jack. I won't hurt you, look at me Jack."
I look at her and she smiles.
"You will be safe and sound. Crazy things happen, I'm sorry this all happened to you."
She puts on her; 'Adult comforting and Everything is Normal' look.
"Thank you for your cooperation, now, Elemental Power wise, from 1-10. With 10 being the strongest. How strong are you?"
'How do I even guess?'
"2." I type down.
"Good, Good."
"Now Jack" she started with a smile. "Here, take this." She hands me a piece of paper.
I take the piece of paper and read casually, then my expression changes.
'You have 5 seconds to live. Make your peace.'
"Holy shit…"
I immediately stop. I step backwards in just the shock and recoil.
I look up at the Agent, who looks perfectly fucking fine in this situation.
"You can't do this to me! Please! I didn't mean for this all to happen!"
"…No, No…this is not happening right now."
I look back at her.
"Please! Please! Don't kill me! I beg you! It will take a lot more effort to kill me than you think!" I yell at her.
"You don't just come In here, expecting to just KILL me? I have a life! You're batshit crazy!"
The door opens erratically with force sending me 4 legged straight into the air in complete fear
"AHHH!" I yelled "No…No…No…" I look around. I look around me EVERYWHERE.
There's no one else here. Even the Agent looked surprised for a moment then sorta smiling
"Good job." She spoke, writing down some crap on some paper.
"…what?" I said
"You passed the Test. I apologize for the scare, Please calm down. You were never in any danger."
"You did very well." She continued and threw some tissues at me.
"You can clean yourself up with those. Do you know anything about that sweat?"
"Don't type anything though," she added quickly, "you're quite sweaty Currently." She said, moving the laptop farther away from me.
I slowly wiped some sweat off of myself, speechless, and in complete shock.
"Here's a can." she pulls over a garbage can for me to place the almost now purple tinted tissues.
"I would not ever face off with an Elemental,"
She said with an exasperated smile, "you guys can take car crashes, you destroy more of the damn car than yourself."
You're not sure what expression she's wearing now, but it's. . intense.
I look at her with visible interest.
"Can you type down your present knowledge on your sweat and psychic abilties. Did you realize you were doing it just now?" She pushes the laptop towards me.
"…"
"…I…I still don't know what is going on here."
I can feel the constant rush of adrenaline, I don't know what to feel, I just feel blank.
"You opened the door." She said "You yanked it right open. It's very impressive. Just like a 'Woosh' "
She throws up some jazz hands,
"Your eyes glow when you use it."
You just stare at the criss-cross-applesauce sitting government agent sitting in front of you, and reflect that this is an awkward encounter.
"Take your time with the response."
"O-Ok" I glance up to her periodically while I type.
"My sweat happens mainly because I get scared or nervous. From what I know it's poisonous…or can cause skin irritation with contact. It feels sweaty."
It's hard for me to fully focus and think straight. I just can't after what just happened, but I've got an objective in sight now.
"Physic wise, I have limited control and ability. I have not practiced it well."
"I did not know I opened the door."
Quite proud of myself for typing that much, and, lots of spelling mistakes fixed later, I turn it around.
She pulls out a small ball, gets up, and sets it on my flat desk.
"Show me."
"I—Uh, I'm quite bad." I spoke.
"It will only be a moment, wouldn't you want to show it off to me?"
"Okay" I responded with a nod.
With full eye contact on the ball, I gently rolled the ball forwards. In a way…to best describe it. It's like rolling a small ball in your hand, but you don't have a hand and I don't feel it in my paw. I feel it internally, I'm starting to sense the presence of the desk and the ball's path actually. I feel the weight of the ball. It's like mapping out an environment, but the environment is the desk.
Pretty soon, I started doing full circles with the ball.
"Can you make it levitate? Not just roll It?"
"ehhh, I doubt it." I spoke.
She lookes amused, "Nod or shake please."
I shake.
"Can you try?"
I nod and get to trying.
Feeling the ball…it's much harder to levitate. I don't have the constant base that is the desk to work with. I try to think of how to do it, since I'm going against gravity here.
…maybe I can try rolling it up?
Put some pressure in front of the ball, form a 'wall' and try to roll it up the 'wall'.
The ball slowly ascends though it's quite uneven in its movements, drifting more and more forwards as it gets higher. I start to feel all giddy from pure amazement.
The ball then slowly staggers and falls to the ground, around a foot from where it started.
"Hahah. Did you see that?" I spoke excitedly, "I made it float!"
"Yep, I sure did. Jesus Christ…truly, what the hell has been unleashed in this world where this is possible."
She looks equal parts amazed and horrified.
"Jack. Quickly now, last few questions. They are very important."
She gets in front of me and crouches down to my level,
"It is known that you knew the Elemental. Steven, before he went fully rabid, quite well."
"Can you tell me about him? Do you know any close family members and where they live? Did he ever tell you a last name?" She pushed the laptop to me, "How did he act and live?"
"I know this is allot to type. But you're doing great with all this. This is the most important part of all this."
'…'
'…'
30 minutes later.
"Steven was a poor soul, what happened to him shouldn't have happened and I feel immense guilt, I wish and wonder what I could've done differently in the moment and in the past."
It feels good to get all this out, even if only on a screen.
"I met him by pure coincidence, just simply being curious about a little hideout that had many of my own kind. He had been living there for quite some time after the course of the transformation."
'He was thrown out of his house by a piece of shit who didn't deserve such a nice child.'
"He was…confident. He was optimistic. He wasn't able to really make it back home, and it really seemed like he couldn't really go back even if he wanted to. He didn't want to go back."
'I wanted to be his friend.'
"He was Alive, had feelings, interests and passions. I have some really great memories with him. I'm sad that he's now just going to be seen as a feral beast."
'He didn't deserve this.'
My eyes are watering.
"I made sure to chip in and help him, but for me, him and many others."
"The thrill just died."
"Not everything about it, no. I mean mainly for Steven it did. The situation for him… he felt hopeless. His life was over, he had no home. He had no future. He told me he thought he was just going to simply die alone."
"Steven could've done so much. But this all had to happen."
"He…was Alive. I know I keep saying that. But Steven was alive. He was there. He existed. He was a person."
"Steven was possibly around 13."
"I don't know why or how he ended up like that. But I think he just simply…broke."
"Steven was abandoned, left alone to die. This is what happens when you leave us for mere dumb minded animals or monsters."
"This is what y—."
4 days later
"…" I sat in the backseat, disrupted only by the occasional bump, in my now typical absolute silence.
"Think of it…like a vacation Jack. You can take a break and relax, you will be safe and nothing will ever harm you." I heard my mother say, from the way she said it I think it's not only a break for me, but as much as it is for her as well.
"No one will ever hurt you."
"…"
"Please stay by me at all times, in eyeshot. How are you feeling right now?"
"Why must you ask me such things? You are merely taunting me at this point!" I growled.
"We'll get through this, Jack," she said.
'She's so lying…I don't think she actually believes what she just said.' I thought as I leaned on the car door.
"I-Imagine all the time we will spend together now. I'll keep you very comfy."
"…"
"I'm so, so sorry for what happened to you. I should've been there more. I should've kept you home. I discussed with your father about a collar that you could wear, but you would've just absolutely hated it, and you wouldn't have worn the damn thing anyways."
"a Collar?!"
"A damn frickin collar…" I said, slowly making my voice lower…
'I would never wear such a demeaning thing! Never. Oh Shit, that would've been horrible!' I thought.
"Collar this…Collar that…Blahblahblah" I said mockingly "that's all you would've bugged me about. Constant. Naggy naggily nag."
"Don't use that tone mister, I shouldn't have brought it up with you. I wasn't even supposed to bring it up with you."
'Pah…you have no true hold over me anymore.' I thought, then I slumped down slightly 'I frankly could care less right now.' As I looked out the window, watching all the trees and leaves pass by. I spend some time just looking out at all of it, it goes on almost seemingly forever.
'No wonder why there's many hunters who live out here, lots of good Deer. Lots of dark places to hide'
'Lots of dumb deer to accidentally hit with a car as well.'
I've always loved car rides, but now I've been starting to hate them. I'm stuck here in the seat effectively, and I'm forced now to basically interact, along with that I can't really hide if I wanted to. I hate that I can't really speak or make noise now and at the same time I hate the silence, it just feels so wrong to me.
I can't really change that fact though, I'm here now.
'You would think going back up to the Cabins to just take a break, and leave everything behind for a long while would make things better. But no, it will not. I wouldn't be able to even enjoy the darkness, but frankly I'd rather be in my own little spot up there than back at my home for a while.'
'Though I hate the fact I'll actually never be able to get away from everyone.'
'Doesn't mean I don't like the idea though' I thought As I continued to recline 'I'm still getting away from a lot of people, I'm on no time schedule. My Mom is pretty upset, rightfully so, about the fact Elementals won't be able to go to real school. Typically in my school district after what…happened…'
'…'
'…Everything's just shit.'
"You already know this, Jack. your father will be up later."
"You may have the benefit of not being able to speak back to me, but you need to remember you still really messed up, Jack. You should've told us what you were doing, Right from the very beginning. I completely failed you and I let you get into this trouble."
"You could've died, Jack. You were literally right next to a rabid animal who killed a person!"
"I am so goddamn happy Jack you were smart enough to make it out of there, but you don't seem to fully realize the scale of everything!"
"But what do I know, you can't speak. I don't know, I don't know what to do. Other than to keep you safe now up here. I love you, Jack. I will always love you," she said.
"You don't know what I did, you don't fully understand what I did. I can't even fully explain what I did other than a few stupid documents!" I said, with anger in my voice, that fades to resignation.
"You don't have any understanding of the situation…"
'You should just really shut up honestly, though my natural instincts tell me not to say that out loud, even if you don't in fact understand me' I thought
"Jack, I don't understand what you are saying. You know how truly hard it is to try to respond to gibberish? How much that really strains me?"
She gives a huff,
"Look, fresh start Jack. Fresh start. Let's just make sure that we are safe, that is our first and main priority. I don't think those people will be back for awhile, but still keep in mind that if you feel like you are getting finicky, strange unnatural thoughts. Please report it to me immediately, we will get through all this."
'I won't even bother to respond anymore then, you 'win' I honestly don't care. I just want to make sure I can at least not be bored as hell the whole time. I think it's just going to be just me and my mother up there until later today.'
'What should I even do?'
'This is…strange.' I thought to myself as we drove up the road seeing our neighbor's houses, the Cabin would soon be on our left.
'I wasn't really seeing myself coming back for a while…at least the way I am now. So much has happened, I'm back where it alllll really started.'
Across the street of our Cabin, would be my Aunt Cathy's little house as well. The Grandmother of Ella and Izzy. As we were pulling up to ours, she came out and greeted us. She asked me how I was, but what could I simply respond with other than a nod?
I didn't bring much. My phone and my Laptop and their respective chargers, a couple board games and puzzles or whatever shit I found in my closet the day prior. I don't need clothes anymore, which is a 'plus'.
'It all comes full circle…doesn't it?' I thought as I entered through the front door, and was happily surprised by my own grandmother sitting down on a small couch facing the outside within an enclosed porch, looking delighted to see me.
"Ohh Jack, I haven't seen you for a long time, hasn't it been awhile?"
I smile.
"Yeah, it has," I said, coming nearer.
"Wow, look at you now. You're essentially grown up now. Oo, mind if I pet you?"
I largely forget about everything that happened for a moment and let my guard down "Sure. You can" I responded with a nod
"Has anyone ever asked you why you have such strange ears? You have very weird ears, how do you even hear?" She asked as she started to pat and rub my head.
"I dunno."
"You now look very…mystical. Those yellow Ear bands are neat lookin' as well."
'Heh, thanks for the compliment, though I'm just your standard usual Bre here'.
"Do the yellow parts feel differently from your black fur?" She asked.
"I don't know, you can try to feel it I guess." I responded.
I felt her play around with my ears, the Yellow bands didn't feel to have anything different about them on my end.
"They feel…a-bit different. Boy, you're a softball."
'Heh…softball.' I humored the word to myself.
"You're just a good puppy now, though please don't use any of your magic around me. You truly don't know what it really does."
I nod.
'Yeah, don't wanna scare her. mmm…softball. I like that.'
My Mom comes through the door with her red suitcase, and a little camostyled backpack which had my stuff in it.
"Hi Mom, let me just get the stuff down over here." She said as she walked into the living room and I started to trail her.
'…'
We went into the same room as last time, which had a bunk bed and a small coffee table right by it.
"Are you happy to be back here, Jack?" She asked me as I sat watching her take some things out of her suitcase.
"Yeah." I responded simply to her, now sitting.
"We'll be here until…well, does it really matter, Jack? You don't need to be worried over how long we will be here for."
"I would've called them insane if someone told me this all would've happened to me and especially, my son, and my Daughter. I can't imagine her grief."
"It's a sudden, crazy change of pace. The whole world is shutting down." She continued, then turned around to me "You're an Umbreon now."
"You're an Umbreon, something out of pure fantasy…now Alive. And you are my Son."
'…I've forgotten at times about who I was in the past. I mean, I'm on 4 legs…do magical shit, do moon shit…yeah, there's gonna be a lot of ye' old moon shit happening.'
She crouches down slowly to my height.
"You're still in there."
'somewhere.'
"We have to work as a team, we all do. I want you to try to be honest with me from now on." She stands up.
"If you see anything, tell me. If you go anywhere, which you will not go unless given special permission from, tell me, and most importantly."
"Tell me, if you feel strange."
"That wild fire type beast, who you used to know. What happened to it, will not happen to you. It will not. So you need to really understand what I'm saying to you here."
"You need to tell me if you feel anything off at any moment. I will want to try to talk with you constantly on how you feel for quite some time, okay?"
"Give me a sign that you will do all of this."
"I just want the real you."
'…'
'…God…Damn it. I guess I have no other choice.'
I nod solemnly.
"Thank you Jack, it's all for your safety and because I want you to stay with us. I want the mental you to survive all this, and we will survive all this."
"I mean, you looked like a human a month ago, were you ever going out and doing stuff like what you were doing with those strangers in that factory in the past when you were a human?"
"There wasn't much else to really do at the house. Your school is getting back In order for who knows how long at this point, but aren't really letting Elementals participate. They do have some Elemental classes, but they won't actually be teaching anything really, they're just honestly half assing it."
She looks sad as she says that.
'Just wait until one of them explodes an entire room, or melts like 4 books accidentally. Pshh, just another example of How Elemental society and Human society just simply don't fit.'
Now she looks resigned.
"Arnt you sad about that all Jack?" She asked, going back to what she was doing.
"Not Really." I said, then continued, "but oh my god…my life is 'ruined' Hahah. Pah, it's not like I expected any less from this situation. You're not getting a real answer from me because you can't even understand me in the first place lmao."
My expression is sort of like a grimacing smile as I think of this one-sided conversation.
"I want you to be with me for awhile anyways, Jack. You don't need to worry about school, so I guess it worked itself out in the end. Next Year, We'll start seeing some possible opportunities for a high school."
I walk and jump onto the bed.
"What should I do now?"
"There's lots of things that you can do Jack, but don't take anything too far today. We just got here."
She stopped, and started to open up my backpack.
"I packed you many things, maybe you can draw? Drawing is a good idea."
'What am I, 4?'
Some expressions transcend species. . .
'…Doesn't mean I won't have fun with that though…'
With a knowing look, she continues;
"Some board games, essentially whatever I could find in your closet." She said as she pulled out a lego set of a Camper Van.
"Holy shit! I've been wanting to do that one!" I exclaimed at the sight of it.
"Do you want that, Jack?"
"Yeah."
"Here…uh, open up." She said holding the box to my mouth, which I then grabbed and hopped down.
"There are lots of other things I need to discuss with you about, but please have fun with that. You have always loved Legos since you were little"
With the Box in my mouth, I actually feel quite happy. I have something to do, something to accomplish. Something that I can solve and not have a Masters degree in psychology.
I go to the nearby table in the Kitchen, which also serves a dining room. And I hop up onto the chair and drop the box in front of me onto the table.
'I…uh.'
'How should I open this.'
I come up with the most genius idea, chewing the box in one of its corners.
'Is this really a good idea to open up an entire lego set with all the pieces all over the table?'
'Of course it is.'
I chew a decent hole into the box, just large enough after shaking to get one bag out.
'I don't need anyone's help with this. I got this on my own'.
I rip open the remains of the box and dump the bags of Legos and the instructions on the table.
'Ahhh. With this difference in how I can place pieces, this will become all the more rewarding!'
I open up the instructions, the set itself is a pretty large one. It's a camper van with a car towing it, it also has a bear. heh.
I never followed the instructions when I was younger, never cared for them. I would always just make my own unique creation with them.
I flip open to the first page, it's the instructions for the blue truck that tows the camper. I grab bag 1 and open it up. Looking back and to, trying to place the legos.
I used to make all these cars, houses, and cities on this big table in my room. Its former purpose was to serve me whenever I would play with my toy trains and tracks.
'Thumbs…humans have thumbs…'
I loved the endless possibilities I had with them. I just followed whatever my heart and brain desired, sometimes even making complex storylines with the little minifigures interacting with one another.
'I wonder if Nintendo…actually, like. Game Freak? I wonder if they will still have rights to Pokémon after all this.'
It was just a little bubble, really I guess. But I eventually had to move on from it when I had to move to a different room in the house and had to restart everything, and that same table is now in the attic.
I moved onto Minecraft soon after that, it was a dream of mine for a very long time to play it. So when I got my Xbox 360 for Christmas. I cried and cried with happiness. I didn't even need an Internet connection, I was alone. But even while alone I just had the drive to continue to create.
It was like the whole LEGO thing all over again after that. Being alone never mattered to me, it wasn't even a thought in my head.
'…Actually, I wonder if Pokéballs will ever come into existence. Though they better not, Pokeballs are impossible. Then again I am an Umbreon, No. they will not, never, make them. I would burn anything related to them to the goddamn ground with no mercy.'
For this set, I want to follow the instructions. I rather just follow them just for some instructions on how to do something for once. I want a clear objective.
The Car is around one thirds of the way done, which is agonizingly slow for me.
'I just want to put down a damn brick, this small. Pathetic piece is so damn small. I don't want to choke on a plastic piece like a 2 year old so I'm just left with paws.'
Either Way, even if slow. I would eventually get it done no matter what. Even if it took 30 minutes…2 hours. Or 2 days.
'I have to open another bag for just the windows and transparent pieces? Damn.'
I look at the extra pieces bag, I don't want to dump another bag into the already large clump of pieces from bag 1. They will get jumbled up together, and that's not good at all.
'…'
'I need to think.' I thought looking at the bag 'I just need a few pieces from it. There's not much more room on the table though for the entire bag to be dumped as well, and there's still multiple other clear plastic bags.'
"I need so—…" I spoke, but I slowly stopped myself, then I peered around the room, keeping my environment in check. It's just me.
'Asking for help would do me nothing. I don't want to bother anyone. I can do this on my own.'
I needed scissors, and I have no idea where they would even be. In a drawer? Up in a cabinet? Do we even have Scissors in the first place? I look back at the bag.
'This bag, this simple bag…Last bag I completely broke open and some pieces probably even fell onto the floor. This one has even smaller pieces.'
'No matter how powerful I can possibly become, I won't have thumbs.'
'Psychic powers.'
'I don't need thumbs, I can do this crap with my mind.'
I put the small bag in the center of the table Infront of me, if I start to use only my Psychic powers to build and to place. I'll master it in no time!
I keep a steady concentration on the bag, more importantly, the corner. I slowly put a force to pry open the corner. One pushing inside on side of the corner, and the other, to push outs
It slowly opens up like a flower in bloom at springtime.
…Why the hell did I make that comparison?
"Yes!"
"Take that, human thumbs! Soon, Soon my powers will be better and easier than any dumb thumbs!"
I drag out (with my mind) the windows and transparent pieces I had so needed. With some more effort over a course of time of me messing around with it, I started putting together the whole car with Psychic. Flipping the pages sometimes with psychic or my paw.
'This is amazing…amazing! I'm actually doing it! I can use this, this is important, this actually works!
'Thank goodness I got this lego set. I can use this to achieve my full potential.'
I simile, looking again at the half built car.
'Why would I be sad over such a gift? A gift that has been presented to me.'
'…Dumbasses, absolute dumbasses are the Elementals who deny their true selves. Their mind Can't handle the strings that puppet them to be removed.'
I lay back on the chair, trying to relax.
I remembered how that Charlie Fella told me about how humanity is the only thing keeping me from being a raccoon.
I talked with him about that at the factory.
"Factory…"
"I…No…"
"He didn't deserve it…why did that happen? WHY DID THAT HAPPEN! WHAT REason…"
'…'
I remember.
It floods back to me.
I remember.
'I'm safe here, I'm safe. Nobody's going to hurt me. It's just me, I'm alone. Am I really alone though? There's people near.'
'…'
'I…I just Can't shake that feeling. That feeling again' I thought then now looking frantically around 'No…No…'
'I can't think that now. I can't. I really can't. This is a positive moment. Happy moment. Happy moments, I built the car. I practiced my skill on psychic…'
I put my head and paws on the table.
'I want it gone. I don't want it.'
'It's still so fresh in my mind…it went so fast. I had no idea what I was going into. I've said everything! I've said everything I knew!'
'I DIDN'T WANT ALL OF THIS TO HAPPEN!'
'…I caused all of it. I did everything. I did it all. I ruined everything…oh god. Please. Please. Please. No. I don't want it. I didn't want you to do it. I told you not to do it. I want it over.'
'…'
"I-I need some darkness. I need some darkness now. I don't care." I spoke.
"I need it. I need it now."
I immediately get off the chair, I need to find a place. Wherever that place is I have no idea.
"Jack? Are you okay?" I heard my Mom ask me as I was walking towards one of the acceptable spots I have located.
I speed up my pace to now a quick dash and I then slide under the bed in one of the rooms, crawling to the farthest I could in the corner of it.
I peer around from under it, I can see my mothers feet, walking around.
"It's all Okay, Jack. That can be your little spot if you want it. Take your time. I'll be doing something else." I heard her say before I heard her wander off.
'it's so dark…' I begin to smile and lighty, laugh.
I would begin to back up even more into the corner but my hind legs are already at the wall.
'I'm gonna stay here. I'm hiding, no one can see me. I don't exist, pure silence. I'm nothing and I can blend in with the dark, only my glowing aura can truly warn.'
'…'
I begin to slowly curl up, and start to cry and whimper.
"W-Why. Why am I doing this…what am I doing…"
'I could've just built the car and had a good day. A normal day. A day where nothing can happen and I can just be in peace. And I just throw it out the window. I ruined it.'
I look from under the bed. Still in the same position.
'Why can't I simply move on. I have nothing to gain if I'm this way. It's stupid…I can't believe I just…I just did all that…'
'…'
I curl up even harder
'Just let me be damn invisible. Let me into the dark. I just want to hide.'
'Didn't I get what I wanted though…? I'm alone. I'm hiding. No one can see me.'
'But I can't enjoy it, I can't enjoy this. this…why…no no no no no no no…I'm trapped. I'm not trapped in a physical sense. But in a mental sense.'
'How do I even get out of this situation…? I acted so fast, I just simply wanted to be alone. I didn't want anyone to see me like that…and I just bolt and scratch under the bed and make it all the more noticeable.''
'…'
'I have no plan. I legitimately have no plan.'
'What is my plan? What is my plan? Can I even have a plan?'
I stop, I just stop. I can't let this get any worse. Let's just, breathe. Breathe.
'Everything right now…was quick. Was fast. Was painful mentally for me…but I can get through this. I am alone, and I like being alone. Being alone is good, no one can watch me. I'm just nothing, and I like being nothing.'
'Nothing…Nothing…plain old nothing.'
'I'm just the dark. The simple dark, invisible and everywhere. The dark.'
I stretch out mildly, wiping my tears with my paw. I then laugh softy.
'Isn't it funny…that no matter how much I hype up how strong elementals are. I am just as weak mentally as a human. Heh, Maybe there's not that much difference after all.'
'I stopped my spiral. I got a grip…I should be proud of that. Yeah, I may be stuck essentially under this smelly old bed, but I'm alive! I'm here! I'm alone and covered by darkness!'
'…I want to reside in this dark, sleep in this dark, rest in this dark, do anything in this dark."
'…'
I groan.
"Rest. That's what I want to do. Rest. Rest In Peace in this dark, this calming dark.'
I laid there, and I laid there. And I laid there. Constantly thinking as I do 'best'. I tried to avoid thinking about what kind of reaction this whole outburst of emotion can entail. I talk so much about 'not caring about what they think now' and then I weep even more (maybe even harder than before) out of fear of what they are thinking about me.
I can tell myself I don't care about what they may think of me all I want, I'm essentially lying to myself. It still affects me heavily.
I still have a long way to go before I can truly reach that level of myself, and just by having a calm head. Calm, level head. Dark head. I can achieve being able to just not care.
Will this be my new spot to hide in, is a question that I thought of. It smells though, holy shit. There's quite a lot of junk underneath this bed. Are there any other good spots though? Not really. This is good.
The darkness makes up for it, on the topic of darkness. It's so warm, it calms me. Goodness Gracious where has this been all my life. I'm happy I bolted down here, it was just like…natural? Yeah. It was a natural response. A natural, ordered response.
I closed my eyes…and just took it all in.
'When should I leave? I haven't counted or kept track of how long I've been down here. But I don't want them to get concerned.'
'No, No. What am I thinking? I don't have to get out, this is perfectly fine. A nice and dark hiding place.'
'Though, but what if I make them worry?'
'Wait, didn't I think that I shouldn't worry about that? I've only been here for a little while, there's no rush. What am I going to say to them anyways? Oh wait, I CANT SPEAK.'
'Maybe the presence of them will help? Crying into a special someone's arms, Just letting it all simply out. They can't fully understand the situation, actually. What if they do?'
'I can't possibly relate everything that I've been thinking in just body motions to them, it is much more safer and secure to just stay here for now. What's wrong with all this? Absolutely nothing…Having boundaries is vital to keep ourselves in check for lesser experiences like this one to occur'.
'I'm just simply pushing the 5 minute snooze button here, it's only a matter of time before we have to get up.'
'…'
'…'
'I'm pretty hungry right now not gonna lie.'
I scurry out from underneath the bed, and I stand up. I ended up stretching.
'Man, I was under there for a while…' I looked back under the bed.
I look around my surroundings for a moment.
'Next time I'll bring a blanket.'
I peer outside of the room, And slowly walk out of it, almost like I was on my tiptoes…which I don't have.
I stand there, In the center of the cabin. Almost frozen, stuck.
'Where should I go? Should I try to find anyone?…how do I respond if someone sees me?'
"I…uh…" I looked around swiftly, "well, I don't know."
'I need to make it like I'm back and normal, I need to be doing something.'
I wander over to the kitchen and, oh goddamn it.
"Hey, Jack," said my dad, "heard you needed some alone time or something of the sort."
"Oh, um…Yeah." I responded.
"I was just gonna get some Cheetos or maybe a cookie, do you want a cookie?—wait, erm. Can you even eat chocolate chip cookies anymore?"
I had no idea how to respond to that question.
"Better safe than sorry, we have to be very careful with you and your surroundings from now on, Jack. Don't try anything too random too often as that doesn't really help us."
"Are You feeling better? Because we need to make sure you're healthy and protected."
I nod.
"Nice, so you wanna have some Cheetos?"
'Sure'.
He begins a motion to throw the Cheetos to me, but stops. He then sets it on the floor.
"Saw your little car you were making. You did a great job so far."
I popped the Cheetos bag, making the Cheetos slide all over the floor. I began to nibble and eat them.
They were pretty good.
"Jack, oh my god." I heard my mom say "don't eat food off the floor! Why did you give him that?"
"What? He seemed hungry, I didn't know he would pop it and eat off the floor."
"At least give him a plate, we need to set a civilized example for Jack, not lure him into wild tendencies."
"Huh? But you don't usually eat Cheetos with a plate, or at all. I thought he would figure something out" my dad explained.
She grabbed the bag off the floor, leaving only a few Cheetos on the floor. Which I quickly ate.
I licked my now orange mussel for quite some time now.
"Jack, come on. You know better," she said.
"5 second rule. It's just the floor." I responded.
She dumped the bag of Cheetos onto a paper plate, and placed it on the floor for me to consume.
'I hope they don't make me eat dog food.' I thought as I ate 'I can't live off of snacks. Damn, how do you cook dinner for a dog?'
'Do I eat less than a human? I dunno, since I have powers and shit now'.
"So Jack, how are you feeling now? Are you feeling alright?
"Better, I guess." I spoke directly.
She threw down some paper and pencil in front of me.
"Please write."
I write, even though I feel quite pressured right now, 'I'm all good.'
"Thank you for your collaboration, it really means alot Jack."
"Sure, urm. Yeah" I responded.
"Sometime, Jack. It doesn't have to be now, could be tomorrow. Or later today. Whenever you feel like it. No pressure."
"Could you help me please try to understand your new behaviors more? None of your powers please. At all."
I nodded…but she didn't really see it so I walked closer and tried to get in her view, when I did I nodded again.
She put her hand on my head and floofed it around, it made me smile as I lifted my head more towards her hand.
"Hrrrmm…that's really nice, I like that." I spoke.
"Are you sure you are Alright?" She spoke directly to me.
"Any strange or unnatural thoughts?"
I think for a moment, I then shake my head.
"You are powered by, like, the moon, am I correct?"
I completely snap out of comfort straight to confrontation and I start to naturally break eye contact.
"That seemed to really get his attention," my Dad remarked.
"What does it do to you?" She asked.
"You…Can't honestly get a real answer from me."
"You can't blame anything on the Moon here…you can't. It's just what I do."
She tapped the paper.
"If you can't write for that long, I fully understand. But that's why we have your laptop."
"Please remember. You will remember this, Whenever you get the chance. Can you type down your experiences with the Moon? How do you feel?"
"…"
I shake my head.
"No…No. No. I won't."
"I will not let you take away one of the core aspects of my life. I don't…" I slowly trail off.
It doesn't matter if I speak one word, or a Thousand words. It won't change a thing.
"Can you please just tell me that you are okay?"
"I'm okay." I spoke and then aggressively "there you go, are you happy? Have I pleased you enough? Don't ask me about that stuff. Never."
I don't have anything else left to say, and along with that, what to do.
"You know, Jack. You do a lot of body emotions, I can especially understand what you are meaning to say."
'…? Huh?'
"I won't try to push you into anything regarding the Moon again. I'm sorry."
'I'm pleasantly surprised.'
'If I were her I would've kept on pushing, who knows what could be in my head, I would've gone on a research spree. Maybe even coming to a conclusion of, Pah, mind control?' Crazy world…crazy world.'
"Could you still please tell me sometime how you are doing?"
"…Sure. I'll do it."
'I hope she doesn't expect too much though. I don't even know what I'll write. I'll probably just include and avoid some details.'
"Thank you Jack, see? We can still communicate," she said.
"…yeah I guess, not really though."
"I'm going to try to make you something special tonight, Jack," she said.
"Special?" I looked up at her, excitedly "Really?"
"Yep, something Special."
"You just gotta wait and see. It's a surprise," my Dad added, "You're going to love it."
I left that conversation feeling quite pleasant and content, it felt revitalizing. Though that was quite a mood swing, but in all seriousness it really brought me back.
I knew what it was even before she had even started cooking, it was Hamburger Helper. Or what I usually called it, 'Comfort Food' My little sniffer here could easily find out what it was without doubt.
I could sorta tell they were going all or nothing on this, heh. But believe me I bet those fears were completely wiped away when I absolutely devoured it. It was a nice moment.
I'm happy it happened.
"Do you feel anything when you Glow, Jack?" My Nana asked, sitting next to me.
"Nope, Not really." I responded, shaking my head for clarification.
It was nighttime and dark, and I was enjoying just simply lounging on the green couch on the enclosed porch with her
"You look really cool, you're something really special now," she continued, "I hope I'm not bothering you."
"Huh? No, No. you're not bothering me at all." I rubbed against her slightly "you're perfectly fine just where you are."
"This will take a lot of time to get used to," she said, "there's quite many of those crazy creatures out there now. Ah, I don't even want to talk about it."
"But you'll protect us, Jack. We have our own creature of the house."
I nodded.
"Isn't the Night just beautiful?" I spoke aloud, "you don't want to ever underestimate it." I debated getting down to look outside more, but I didn't want to get out of my comfortable spot.
"I could sit here…for hours…"
"…"
"Which I won't of course. I will not. I will not."
"I do hope that hamburger helper won't disturb your stomach Jack" she mentioned.
"I'll be all perfectly fine, it was delicious. exquisite I may add. I need some good old meat in my diet, am I right?"
"I'm sorry Jack, but I hate the fact I don't understand you."
"It's fine." I said.
"It just disturbs me somewhat whenever you speak, I'm sorry."
"I'll never hear your voice again, it's almost like a part of you just disappeared. But I'm so happy that you've been taking it as best you could. I don't think I could've done it, I wish it was me and not you."
"You shouldn't say that. I'm happy it's me and not you."
'…'
"I'm scared people are going to hurt you Jack. You really got in some action back there. Didn't you?"
I tried my best to assure her.
"It was minuscule in the large term and small term. People have bigger fish to fry than some…random Umbreon." I said.
"Much more important matters at hand, I'm sure nothing will happen to me, you and for all of us. I'm not even directly involved in anything, I wasn't hurt or even touched. I only watched."
"That was my fault, I made a statement and asked for a response," she said, "so many questions and you can't really give any answers."
'I should ask her some time to give me a bunch of questions and I'll answer them. Paper is too far now.'
"Jack. I have some important things to sorta 'ask' in a way," she asked.
"You are a creature of the Moon. Aren't you? Is that correct? Powered by it in some way?"
I nodded.
'They're all probably going to think I'm mind controlled or some shit.'
'I…can't really change that impression."
"I know you can't answer me, Jack. But I'm happy to know you are listening to me."
"You're only 16, Jack. You just had your birthday 2 months ago," she paused for a moment.
"Are you happy?"
"I'm happy." I spoke.
'…'
"You have been through an awful lot. I'm happy you're here taking things in here, we're together. I apologize if I haven't been good enough."
"No no, please. You've been great, I promise." I spoke.
"Just wait a moment, Jack. What makes it even worse is that you are in a completely new body, you don't have to fib to me, boy. you have probably gotten new thoughts and practices."
"Your mother has been worried sick about your future and…really what you had truly experienced back there. Your father is trying to figure out how to relax you into a more positive and reassuring environment."
"I know 100% that you are still in there and that will never change, Jack. I would be foolish if I didn't think that. If you weren't then you would be outside right now eating rabbits and being…almost like a fox I guess?"
"You would be feral, but you aren't feral. You're right next to me as my little softball."
"I just want you to enjoy your time while you have it, but please. Make sure to keep yourself within sight, okay? I know with all of this…it's really easy to let yourself go and just let loose to run around."
"Let's just enjoy the moment."
it's been awhile, hasn't it? Welp, here's chapter 22! Damn, honestly I can't believe I've made it this far but I ain't stopping nor complaining.
Jacks completely in a new environment, well. He was here for the early chapters. But compared to all the past chapters he's in a new place, and in turn means I am creating a new whole arc of events.
This whole new Arc is going to be an adventure for both you and me!
My Discord DMs and FanFiction PMs are always open if anyone ever wants to suggest anything or just simply wants to chat! I'm right here!
Don't forget, I have a discord Server which is on my Account page and if that doesn't work then just DM/PM me and ask for it
As I've created the first chapter in a "set" of chapters, or so the introduction for what you may see in the future. I've got a groundwork now and the future chapters will come faster