We walked along the river, making idle chatter, when up ahead we heard singing. Really bad singing. I think it was Ragnar the Red, but I can't be sure. The tune sounded similar, but his voice ruined it. As we got closer, we saw it was a man dancing by his shored boat. He had just enough time to see us and smile before he fell face first into the mud.
Aerana rushed over to him. "Come on! We have to help him!" She urged us.
Lydia and I looked at each other and collectively rolled our eyes before joining her. She had flipped him over on his back, so he wouldn't drown in the mud. His entire front was covered with it.
"What should we do? " she asked unsure. Lydia scrunched her nose.
"Nothing my thane. He is mearly drunk. And in need of a bath."
Before I could realize what a mistake it would be, I inhaled through my nose as well. Oh yeah. I grimaced. He was drunk alright. I could smell him from over here. Why was a sailor this far south? Had he gotten lost and drifted down river? Wait, that made no sense. Rivers flower out to ocean if I wasn't mistaken.
"So, what would we do with this drunken sailor?" Aerana asked and I chuckled lightly at the reference.
Then Lydia asked "What should we do with a drunken sailor? Really?" and my eyes went wide. Oh god. It was happening.
"Well, what does one do with a drunken sailor? Especially so early in the morning?"
I started giggling a bit. But I was ignored aside from a sidelong glance from Lydia and an eye roll.
"Maybe put him in the longboat until he's sober? We can't leave him here. There are predators." Aerana asked hopefully.
Lydia shook her head. "No, they would still get to him, even in his long boat. I say we shave his belly with a rusty razor. My mother always told me that was the fastest was to sober up a man. Nothing like the fear of steel to make ones priorities straight."
I couldn't help myself. "I say, we put him in the hole with the Captain's daughter!" I said cheekily.
Both my companions looked at me deadpan. "Its too early in the morning for this. You and your insanity especially. Now help us throw him in his boat so we can move on." Lydia huffed. And I could sense the sentiment was shared by Aerana.
Whatever. The guy was probably gonna be eaten by Slaughter fish anyway. We tossed him in his boat and went on our way.
These people had no taste.
Later, that sailor would become famous for a new Shante sang on boats across Nirn. When asked, he would boastfully tell of how two Mermaidens and a mad happy Aedra had sang it to him in his hour of need. Lamenting on how to save him from an unsightly fate. It started an entire mythos among the superstitious sailors.
The tradition of hanging a Mermaiden on each side of the vessel, as well as a laughing Aedra on the stern was born. Many a sailor would swear by their protections while out on the treacherous sea.
The maidens watched for threats, and the laughing Aedra ensured the trip was a merry one.