One chapter to go after this.
XXXXXXX
16 days later
It had been a rough couple of weeks for Will. Getting written up by Goodwin and losing a patient the day Jay came in was just the beginning. The ensuing fallout the next day from that patient dying had thrown Will for a loop.
He had thought about what Jay said on and off since the night he came over. At first it broke his heart and he spent that entire night kicking himself and spilling quite a few tears of his own for not saying anything to Jay. But the longer he thought about it, the more pissed he became. His mind would go right back to the night his dad died, what Jay said, the reckless bullshit he pulled after that almost got him killed and every subsequent injury since then. He knew Jay's apology was heartfelt but his apology felt like a band-aid on an amputation.
He toyed with the idea of talking to Jay but he wasn't quite to a point where he thought he could do it without it turning into a fight instead of a conversation. His anger was still in the forefront of his mind, muting any compassion for Jay.
That was until today. Today everything crashed into him like a wrecking ball when he looked at his calendar at lunch and realized he and Jay had planned to go to the Bulls game tonight.
For whatever reason, that drove home the ramifications of what he said about Jay, what Jay heard. He knew having an angry shit day was not an excuse to treat his brother that way. And then with his moment of panic of seeing Jay in that bed, he took everything out on Jay, even though he knew his brother was okay. Even though he knew those guys joked around about stuff like that because it helped them get through the rough, sad, scary parts of their job. Hell, they did the same thing in the ER. They'd go nuts if not for those weird moments of levity they found over the most random, idiotic things.
He knew Jay would forever beat himself up for what he said to their dad that day. And truth be told, his Dad deserved it. He pretty much was a prick, especially to Jay. The only thing that made any of it wrong was Jay not getting a chance to say he was sorry, not that his dad deserved an apology, but Jay didn't get to say he was sorry, for himself…so he wouldn't have to live with and beat himself up over that final moment with their dad.
And then he had to go and heap it on. Jay calling their dad a prick had nothing to do with him getting hurt that day. Nothing, but the patient dying minutes before Jay walked in the door brought everything to the forefront. He fucking knew bringing that up would hurt Jay. God, he was just as big of a prick as his dad.
He let some tears spill for once again fucking up with his brother. He worried if he could fix it this time and that thought sent him to the brink of a panic attack. He was only able to calm down when he shot Jay a text.
I'm so sorry Jay. I m a fucking awful prick. Can we meet up and talk. Let me know wehn you get this.
When he didn't get an answer right away, he decided to head out and catch Jay at work. As soon as he got in his car he felt a panic building that he wouldn't be able to fix it this time. That being a colossal dick of a brother had forever tilted the scales and reconciling with Jay would be a lost cause.
X
He had to pay a steep price of admission to enter the bullpen - 10 minutes of Platt snark plucked from the freezer burn of her cold heart. But he figure any pain or discomfort, no matter what form it came in, was deserved for what he did to Jay.
There was no Jay to be seen when he reached the top of the stairs, just a tense unit surprised by his entrance.
Hailey noticed him first. "Will."
"Hey guys…"
"Jay's not here. He's on a UC."
He scowled at the fact he would not be able to fix what he did to Jay right now. "Oh. Okay. Ya, he didn't answer my calls today."
Adam looked at him like he was a leper, "So you called him..."
"Ya. Any timeline on when he'll be back?"
Any time one of them was on a UC they were all a little tense, but the fact that Will said Jay didn't answer his calls 'today' meant Will hadn't tried to call Jay since he said that shit about Jay in the ER. He hadn't tried to fix things. If he had, he would have been here before this. Jay hadn't been able to answer his phone for two weeks. All Adam could think was, 'what an asshole.' And before he could stop himself, he goes off.
"After everything, you just called him today? He didn't answer your calls today? He's been gone over two weeks."
"Two weeks!?"
"Ya. Went under a couple of days after he was in the ER. You know, the day you pretty much ripped your brother's fucking heart out."
Voight jumped in, "Adam!"
Even though he wanted to get defensive, he knew he deserved what Adam was saying - he did rip Jay's heart out. He saw it in his eyes. He wanted to cry right now for what he had done. He felt the tears wanting to invade but was able to push them back. He didn't deserve to shed those tears. Not here, not in this room.
Voight nipped the rancor in the bud, "No timeline of when he'll be out. Hopefully tomorrow if everything goes according to plan." Then he walked back into his office and shut the door. The rest of the team sat down and did busy work, thereby dismissing him.
XXXXXXX
The plan was to infiltrate the west faction of Crazy Cory's gang. Two members already knew him as Ryan Clarke from the bullshit he got himself into with Camilla, a fiasco that helped solidify his UC identity in the underbelly of Chicago. Jay was able to quickly make his way to a trusted minion, one who would accompany a lieutenant to these meetings. Jay was being vetted and two days into the UC he was followed. He met with one of his CI's who was posing as a cohort of Ryan's and accused him of stealing from him. The CI 'thought' Jay was going to let him off, that he believed his story, but Jay shot and 'killed him,' then pushed him off the dock. When confronted by his boss, Mickey Balfe, Jay looked at him hard and stated, 'I warned him not to fuck with me.' It was risky, but the ruse worked. A few days later there was a small story in the Chicago Sun-times about a body fished out of Lake Michigan. Jay was in…and solid.
Jay'd had no contact with the unit since he went in. Any information the unit had came from a wire hidden in the collar of Jay's shirts. So far Jay had been a part of four money exchanges and Intelligence had been there for all of them.
But this was the one they were waiting for, the one they needed to take down Crazy Cory - he would be there with members of his inner circle.
Balfe, Jay and a few other minions were meeting with Crazy Cory and whoever he was bringing. They were having a pow pow and exchanging the money they had from selling the drugs, for more drugs.
XXXXXXX
For a little over a week Jay'd been trying to keep the infection in his shoulder at bay. He had used all the cream Ethan gave him and bought some over the counter antibiotic cream and more bandages at a drugstore, but his treatment of it was sloppy at best. He could barely reach it to put the cream on or bandage it properly.
When he found out about this meeting three days ago, he was relieved, they'd be able to wrap up his UC with a bust. The cut was now infected and he'd been feeling progressively worse. Today he woke up feeling like he was going to die but he couldn't pull out, they were too close.
He was more anxious about his eventual trip to the ER when this was over, than the actual bust. He would see Will and knew this'd be another tick on his 'reckless' score card.
Jay and a couple of other minions had been shooting the shit waiting for Balfe to show up. Crazy Cory and the members of his inner circle would arrive sometime later. It would be his first time meeting Crazy Cory Black and hopefully the last if they could take them all down today.
Grady, the minion with the most seniority, had been eyeballing him all morning, "What the hell's wrong with you Ryan? You look like shit."
Jay already knew this. He saw himself in the mirror this morning. He was pale, sweaty and couldn't stop the occasional tremble as it rumbled through his body from his fever.
He shrugged it off not wanting to appear weak, "Dunno."
"Well don't keel over on me or I'll kill you myself."
"You'll have to get in line. I'm sure the boss'll wanna kill me first."
They all chuckled at the truth of that, the laughed even harder when their boss, Mickey Balfe, with horrendous comedic timing, showed up not a minute later. Always aware, the first thing he noticed was Jay's state of being.
Balfe jumped to a seemingly obvious conclusion and slammed Jay into one of the large cement pillars, eliciting a pained groan from him.
"What the fuck's wrong with you Ryan."
"Sarge, you seeing this. Should we go in."
"Hold Hailey. He hasn't given us the signal."
None of them like holding but they'd do it. They all wanted this over with. They all wanted Jay out of this undercover.
"You going through withdrawals? You sampling the product?"
"No boss. Just got a cut on my back. It's infected."
Black grabbed the front of Jay's jacket and slammed his back into the pillar again, causing Jay to cry out in pain. The asshole spun him around, shoved him flat against the cold cement and held him there with a hand to his neck, then yanked Jay's coat off and pulled up his shirt.
Jay, wanting this over as quickly as possible, ground out through a clenched jaw, "Left shoulder boss."
The unit watched as the fucker pulled up the left side of Jay's shirt and ripped off the sloppily placed bandage, revealing the cut a few inches above Jay's shoulder blade.
"Shit, you seeing that? We gotta pull him."
Voight saw the cut, saw how swollen with pus and blood it was. There were stitches, many of them broken from being slammed into the wall and he had fresh blood dripping down his back.
"Goddamn it Jay." Voight blew out an angry breath. "Hold. Wait for a signal from him. Let's finish this. We don't get it done, I'll pull him."
As much as they all want to grumble, they could see his point. They are a hairs breadth away from busting this network. Knowing they'd get Jay out one way or another calmed their worries for the moment.
Balfe pulled up Jay's shirt farther. "Shit Ryan. The way that cut looks, I'm probably not going to have to pay you your cut."
He let Jay go, walked back to the car and leaned against the trunk. The blood trickling down Jay's back smeared when he pulled his shirt down. Jay winced and turned around, looking worse than he did a minute ago. When he pulled his jacket back over his shoulders, he shuddered with pain or fever and looked like he was about thirty seconds away from passing out.
Jay seemed to be fading the longer they waited. Finally the man of the hour drove through the gate. Three men exit the car but none of them were Crazy Cory.
"Goddamn it!"
"Maybe he's coming in a different car?"
That thought had gone through all of their heads but they all had a feeling that wouldn't be happening.
None of the three men said anything, but Crazy Cory's second in command, known only as Trip, pinned them all with a dirty look. When his eyes landed on Jay, they stopped and lingered. Jay could only hope Trip was just taking in how sick he looked. His hope faltered when the body of one of the guys that vouched for his UC persona, a guy that ran with Camilla, was pulled out of the trunk.
"Oh shit, Voight!"
Before they could react further, Trip eased the fear that Jay'd been made.
"Seems someone's been stealing the product, selling it on the side. Danny boy made the mistake of saying 'we' while we were discussing the matter."
They all looked at Danny's body, beat to hell, tortured. Apparently he didn't give up who the other person was.
Trip focused on Jay. "You stealing our shit? Using?"
Balfe defended Jay, "He's just sick boss. Gotta infected cut on his back."
Trip stared at Jay, "Lemme see it."
He cleared his throat, telling himself to hang on just a little longer, "Sure."
Jay shrugged out of his jacket and it's all he can do to not pass out. He turned around and tried to pull up his bloody shirt but faltered. Balfe stepped in and pulled it up, his hold on it the only thing keeping Jay from face planting.
Once again, Jay's infected cut is paraded about, blood and pus oozing.
Cory Black may be crazy, but Trip was a first rate asshole. He poked the inflamed skin around the cut, causing Jay to cry out, arch his back away from the touch and go to his knees, breathing through the pain, trying not to pass out.
Trip looked at Balfe, "doesn't look like he'll be around to collect his cut."
Glaring at the rest of them, Trip focused on Jay again, grabbing his hair and pulling his head back.
"You didn't answer my question. You stealing our shit?"
His head held in place by Trip's grip on his hair, he couldn't shake his head but ground out a breathy, "No boss, 't's not me," before going back to panting through the pain and trying to banish the black spots filling in his vision.
Trip released Jay's head and ignored him, leaving Jay sitting ass to heels with his hands fisted on his thighs, trying to catch his breath.
After a moment Balfe got Jay back to his feet while Trip ranted about people stealing their stuff.
Things fall apart quickly after that:
Trip is dead, killed by Ruzek when the ass turned his gun on Jay. Another of the late arrivals is killed by Kevin when he turned his gun on Jay and Balfe. Everyone else was taken down…except Crazy Cory - who never showed…the bust was pretty much a bust.
To protect Jay's UC identity, Jay was taken down by Hailey who busted him as gently as she could while still making it look real. She pulled his arms back to cuff him and he cried out and went to his knees again.
"Shut it asshole. Don't be a big baby."
Kevin came to help Hailey get Jay up. They could both feel the heat radiating off of him and the tremble of his body. It took everything she had to banish the tears that threaten to flood her eyes for she causing Jay pain.
Voight told the uni's to put them all in holding but he want those two, he pointed to Jay and Balfe, in interrogation.
The scene was in the process of being locked down, the uni's took off with their charges and the wagons rolled up for the dead bodies.
Hailey crouched down, covered her mouth and let her tears roll. Voight gave her a second then pulled her to stand. "Come on. The sooner we get him processed through, the faster we can get him to the hospital."
XXXXXXX
The uni driving seemed to be watching him more than the road. Jay wanted to say something about it but knew if he opened his mouth he'd puke.
"You alright man?"
Jay didn't answer. Just met the officer's eyes in the rearview, then closed them again.
He breathed through the need to puke and now his focus was to not pass out. They couldn't take him to the hospital. He needed to make it through the 'interrogation,' Central booking and the expedited bail hearing, then they could get him to the hospital…to Will.
The thought made him cringe. Everything he'd been able to put off by the pure adrenaline of being undercover flooded in. The fight with Will cycled in his head. Tears sprung to his eyes but he couldn't wipe them away with his hands cuffed behind his back. Again the cop was looking at him in the rearview mirror. He couldn't meet his eyes so he turned to the window and watched the flickering world go by through his eyelids.
When they got to the precinct both officers lead him in. He felt like he was going to collapse but their firm grip on his biceps kept him on his feet. Even so, they still couldn't keep him from stumbling when they walked over the threshold into Platt's domain a few feet behind Balfe and the officers charged with bringing him in.
She didn't miss her detective's clenched jaw holding in the scream. It took all of her power to treat Jay like a criminal and not one of her favorite people.
He could see the worry on Platt's face but had to keep his cover so he taunted her in the strongest voice he could muster, "You can stare all ya like honey, but you're a little old for me."
She gave him a raised eyebrow. The wink and shit kicking grin he sent her way, that would normally light up his face, was full of pain.
"I might be a little old for you but you're going to prison…pretty boy like you, thinking you're not going to get to choose your type."
He knows, undercover or not, he was going to pay for that remark. And if he makes it to that point, he will gladly take all the shit Platt dishes out.
She addressed the officers, "Take him to two. Hansen stay on the door."
"Got it Sarge."
She pointed to Balfe, "Take him to one…Carson the door."
The officer acknowledged her orders with a nod.
Jay made a smooching noise at Platt, "Something to dream about…"
Trudy scoffed and the officer, forgetting that he wasn't leading a perp to interrogation but an undercover cop, gave him a shake, "Knock it off asshole."
It caught Jay by surprise and he cried out in pain as his knees buckled. The officers kept him on his feet and the other officer told him to 'quit faking it' to keep Jay's cover but knew his partner was going to get shit from Platt for hurting her favorite detective.
As soon as they are out of sight, Trudy sucked in a breath. Hailey and Kevin arrive a few minutes later and Trudy was instantly all over them.
"What the hell happened. Jay looks a second away from death?"
Hailey rubbed her face, anger and worry bubbling to the surface, her expression mirroring Atwater's as she spit out, "He probably is. He's sick. He's got a cut on his back that's infected but we can't fu…we can't pull him yet," then she tattooed every step with her anger as she charged up the steps.
XXXXXXX
They had gotten Jay into an interview room and threw Balfe into the other one. Voight and Kim went at Balfe while Hailey and Kevin 'went at' Jay.
As soon as the door was closed Jay put his head down on the table, his arms acting as a pillow, Kevin sitting in front of him.
"Gunna make it Jay?"
He mumbled into his arms, "Probably."
Lifting his head up when the door opened again, he felt a light touch on his shoulder. Hailey. She handed him a water and didn't bother asking him if he was okay, he wasn't. She went to look at his back but he stopped her.
"Don't. I don't want them to think I got any kind of treatment and if you touch it I'll probably pass out. We're almost there, then we can get me to med."
She gave his good shoulder a squeeze and he put his head down again.
They sat in there for ten minutes watching Jay tremble and hiss or groan with every move. A couple of times he put his head up and they seriously thought he was either going to pass out or throw in the towel. He looked terrible. He was now cradling his left arm, trying not to move the shoulder at all. Pain was etched firmly on his face.
"Jay…"
Agony resonating in every word, Jay spelled it out, "No Hailey. We're almost there."
Just a little longer. Her left leg bounced with anxiety. Even though they needed to protect Jay's UC, it was a good one he had used many times, she hated this fucking plan. Jay's health should be more important.
Finally enough time had passed, "Go ahead Kev."
At Hailey's direction they put part two of this part of the plan into effect. Kevin went to the other interrogation room and knocked.
Voight stepped out and left the door slightly ajar, "Ryan's not talking."
"Huh…okay put him in holding for now…let him sit. He looks pretty sick…let's use that. We'll let him stew in his misery then take another pass at him."
"You got it boss."
Jay's body ached so bad that when the uni threw the cuffs on him in the interrogation room he almost passed out. It was protocol, the cuffs, they had to do it but he seriously thought he was going to die. Kevin rushed forward to keep him from dropping and had to hold him up so he could get his bearings.
When Jay appeared steady, Kevin asked what they both knew was a stupid question, "You good?"
Jay looked at his friend with glassy eyes and gave him a pained smirk.
"Almost done, bro, just hold on a little bit longer…"
Nodding Jay rasped out, "Let's go" then sucked in a breath for fuel to walk out of there without keeling over and continue the ruse.
XXXXXXX
Two hours later, Trudy ran up the stairs in a panic.
"We've got a huge problem."
That got everyones attention, but Voight was the one to respond to her concern, "Trudy?"
"Balfe was bailed out…". She took a breath and dropped the bomb, "whoever bailed him out bailed Jay out about a half hour later."
"What the fuck?"
"The desk sergeant thought it was us…thought it was our undercover."
She was distraught when she handed a slip of paper to Voight, "From the pod on 4th…license, make and model of the car Jay got into."
A worried Voight patted her shoulder, "Not your fault Trudy." He took the paper and handed it off to Adam.
Hailey was beside herself with worry and asked the question even though she knew the fucking answer, "Why in the hell would he go?"
Voight heaved a heavy sigh, "He probably thought it was us…that he was safe…"
XXXXXXX
Jay was surprised to find out that the person who bailed him out wasn't the undercover from Financial Crimes they had planned, but was in fact one of Crazy Cory's people. He got in the car, put his head back and closed his eyes, thinking they were on the way to Med. At this point he was so miserable he didn't care he would undoubtably run into an angry Will…who had probably disowned him.
He had just had that thought when he felt a sharp pain in his neck. He jerked away and looked at the driver who was wearing a big smirk. He realized what was happening but that was as far as he got. Even without the drugs entering his system, he was too weak from fever to fight. A mumbled 'shit' tumbled out of his mouth before he lost consciousness and slumped against the door.
X
Of the four men holding him, he only knew Mickey Balfe. He could only assume the others were a part of Crazy Cory Black's inner circle. He hadn't met them yet, probably would have met them earlier if Black had shown up to the meet. It seemed his cover was still intact but they were pissed and wanted to know who had the missing product.
They had taken his shirt and jacket, leaving him half naked to freeze as the torture continued. The taser touched his bare abs again, muscles contracting, bound wrists and ankles tethered him as his body arched off the chair. A hoarse scream left his lips, voice long gone from constant screaming.
The taser lifted from his body and he collapsed back on the chair, trying to breathe before the next round. They had stopped waiting for the trembling to stop before they went again. His wrists and ankles were raw from the struggle his body unwittingly went through as the electricity coursed through his body.
He much preferred the fists they started with. He knew he was battered and bruised but the taser was a whole new horrible ballgame.
Angry red marks from the taser littered his chest and abs. A few of them, where the taser was held too long against his skin, were starting to blister.
Balfe was doing the tasing so he was obviously the low man on the totem pole. He seemed to really be enjoying himself and looked almost gleeful when allowed to tase him again.
"Again…"
They had been asking Jay who stole the product for God knew who long. It was probably only an hour or two but felt like forever. This time the asshole tasered the wound on his back. He arched away from the lightning entering his body through the infected cut then crashed back onto chair when the taser was removed. Not able to catch his breath, the room flipped and he was sucked into unconsciousness.
X
Not sure how long he was out, his eyes blinked open and a groan escaped against his will. His head lolled to the side before he was able to lift it. The world had stopped spinning and he saw more people have arrived along with the one person he was hoping to meet earlier, he just didn't expect to be tied up when introductions where made.
"Ryan, so nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you from Mickey…"
In pain and stupid from the fever, he taunted Black, apparently forgetting the Crazy Cory part of his name. Jay swallowed and recovered a bit of his voice, "Well, I've heard a lot about you from Balfe also, so I guess we're on our way to being fast friends."
Crazy Cory scoffed at that and to show he didn't want to be friends, punched Jay in the face, adding a future bruise to what was already there.
Black put his hand back and Balfe placed the taser in his hand.
"Now, let's try this again…"
X
Black stopped using the taser sometime later and moved on to a knife, something he was sure he also wouldn't like. He really missed those fists.
Trying his hardest not to pass out, Jay laughed out loud, not sure why…concussion, fever…oddly he found this ridiculously funny. Laughing was a mistake, as Crazy Cory Black plunged the knife into his forearm where it rested against the arm of the chair.
He panted, wanting the pain to recede but the crazy fuck had left the blade in his arm, pinning it to the chair.
"What's so funny Ryan? Care to let us in on the joke?"
Jay didn't have a punch line, just a bloody smirk at the thought that maybe he was just as crazy as Crazy Cory, but he wouldn't say that out loud. He wanted more than anything to say something, anything, that would get all of this to stop, but he didn't have it in him, he couldn't think straight. The pain was becoming too great. He only hoped the team got to him before Black gave up the questioning and just killed him.
Jay grunted when Black pulled the knife from his arm, eyes blinking, trying desperately to stay awake.
"Ever heard of a Glasgow grin Ryan?"
Glassy, pain filled eyes opened wide.
"I see you have." Black waved the knife in front of Jay's face, enjoying the fear as panicked eyes followed every move of the blade while his body moving away from the knife of its own accord.
"Where's my shit?"
Sucking in a breath that was part fear, part pain, he flicked his eyes to the men behind Black and in fevered idiocy, answered with a raspy chuckle, "I already told those assholes, I don't have it."
"Everything's so funny, how 'bout we put a permanent grin on that pretty face."
When the fear landed back on Jay's face, Black elicited a wince when he grabbed a handful of hair and yanked his head back, then dragged the dull side of the bloody blade across the side of Jay's face, starting at the corner of his mouth, then curving upward in a one sided grin.
The blade didn't break the skin, just left a smear of blood. Laughing at the the shallow, stuttering breaths and the tremble that racked his minion's body, Black dragged the point of the knife in the same way on the other side of his face but this time let it break the skin at Jay's cheek, leaving a one inch cut that immediately started leaking blood down his face.
"Not going to let us in on the joke? That's not nice. I'd even say it's rude."
Jay jerked away from the knife when it was waved in his face again, infected cut hitting the back of the chair in his efforts to escape. Jay threw his head back, screamed through a clenched jaw, then let it drop, chest heaving, eyes full of agony as he stared at Black.
Crazy Cory laughed, enjoying the torture he was putting Jay though. He booped Jay's nose with the flat of the blade, "I think I'll keep you around a while Ryan…let you heal up…could get a pretty penny for a pretty boy like you."
Head tilted to the side, Jay blinked at his captor, pained tremors running through his body. He told himself he couldn't pass out or he would wake up somewhere else, a victim of Black's human trafficking enterprise, but staying awake was getting harder and harder with his body engulfed in agony.
"But I digress, now where was I?"
His face was just inches from Jay's, crazy eyes staring into pain filled ones. He waved the bloody knife around to his minions, "Oh yes…you know how much I love jokes. This is one of my favorites. A group of guys are hanging out in a warehouse and one has a knife…" Then he plunged the knife into Jay's thigh, again to the hilt and left it there.
Jay didn't have the energy or the voice to scream, only managing a twitch of a wince as he tried not to pass out but failed miserably.
Crazy Cory yanked an unconscious Jay's head back by the hair, turned to his minions and laughed, "I really like that joke." Then he let go, yanked the knife from Jay's thigh and walked away before Jay's head even hit his chest.
XXXXXXX
As always, thanks for reading and reviewing and thanks to ChinVilla for your unwavering support!
Stay safe out there peeps!