Set post-series. The team attends a memorial for Sean and they can't help the crazy jokes afterwards. A tie in to Only Place We've Ever Had Any Fun Ch. 67.
The instant she stepped through the doors, Nikita made a beeline for her friends. She did not want to mingle with strangers, unlike Michael. Though he didn't want to either, he was pulled aside by Senator Chappell once he entered the room. The former rogue was able to make a clean getaway and join her team in the back corner. Apparently, none of them wanted to interact outside of themselves. They should probably get over that, especially with where they were. But why should they suffer through conversations with others, when they gave themselves hell.
"Wow, Nerd. I didn't think I'd ever see you in a suit. I gotta say, you look awful," Nikita started the taunting early, eyeing Birkhoff's appearance with a smirk. Whereas he huffed and rolled his eyes, Sonya hid a giggle. Of course he was in a suit. They were all supposed to look their best that evening; his lack of comfort shouldn't make him the exception.
Sean deserved the best from the team. After Ryan had received his star, plans were put in place for the Seal to be honored as well. The Navy wound up getting involved, resulting in a military memorial function. There were to be speeches and awards and a banquet. It was an important ceremony the team fully committed to with elegant outfits that actually didn't conceal weapons. Their fallen friends needed to be recognized as the heroes they were. Sean and Ryan had sacrificed everything; they needed to be honored.
That deep respect could begin once the event started, however. For the meantime, the team of former rogues could devastatingly rag on one another. Birkhoff had to retaliate for Nikita's sarcastic comment, after all, "Shut up. You're the one who came in with a stranger instead of your husband."
"That is my husband," Glancing towards Michael, who was in deep conversation with other soldiers, Nikita corrected Birkhoff like he was stupid. Michael didn't look that different in his dress uniform. With his identity restored (and with the posthumous promotion he received for his service), the retired Naval intelligence officer could wear his uniform to the military function. It was only out of respect for Sean. Once it was over, he'd hang it up for good.
His refusal to rejoin the Navy and his veteran status didn't excuse Michael from being completely in dress, however. He couldn't just slap on the uniform, he had to adhere to the regulations. For starters, PDA wasn't allowed, much to Nikita's dismay (God, he looked so good in uniform). Also, he had to be clean shaven. That fact was what threw off his friends. Birkhoff did a double take, and Alex gasped, "That's Michael? Where's his beard? That's not right."
"See, I'm not the only one," Nikita called out as Michael moved towards the group. He had caught them staring at him out of the corner of his eye, and used that excuse to break away from his conversation. He had been serious when he told his wife he was done with wars and being a soldier. He just wanted to focus on family.
"Yes, you're all overdramatic," Flashing his trademark smirk, Michael admonished the others. He was immediately met with eye rolls, scoffs, and rebuttals. Nikita was the loudest among them. But she had been like that since he had walked out of the bathroom beardless. It severely ruined the magic of him in uniform.
While Nikita, Alex, and Birkhoff expressed their shock at the unnaturalness of Michael's bare chin, Sonya turned towards her boyfriend. She thought her friend looked perfectly fine. The nerd with his shaggy appearance, on the other hand, "Michael shaved, but you can't?"
"Oh, now I get it. That's too much," Finally, Nikita ceased her complaining. Birkhoff with short hair, no beard, and a suit would've been a bigger shock than Michael's shave; it would've been far more unnatural. Alex vehemently nodded in agreement.
"Come on. Let's get our seats," With a roll of his eyes, Michael simply ushered his friends inside the banquet hall. They still had time to talk and joke outside, but it was better to move on. After all, the taunts would only grow worse. They needed to settle and become serious. Their reverence was needed for the ceremony.
Once the team was seated and the event began, they were beyond respectful and engaged. They listened to the speeches and gave their own. Alex's was by far the best and most important. She spoke of Sean's legacy: the lasting image of heroism, sacrifice, and love he left behind. Of course there was no sarcasm or taunting after that; the friends were in fierce agreement. Things eventually took a lighter turn when the team met Jill and Sandy Pierce, and as they honored Sean's memory. It wasn't all somber. They could experience a bright side as well.
As the banquet wound down, and others began to leave, the team lingered at their table quietly talking. Mostly, they discussed the event and some of the things they had planned for the next couple of days. At some point, though, Nikita threw a wink at a passing old man as he left. Michael saw the interaction, notably the shocked and embarrassed man, and instantly grew concerned. What the hell was his wife doing, "Who'd you just wink at?"
"One of my old johns," Nikita replied nonchalantly, nodding towards the man. He was a senator she had once been a date of so she could infiltrate a private function. The story wasn't that spectacular, but her wording caused Michael to choke on his drink and cough. It was more out of laughter than shock, however. She almost laughed along with him. Instead, she teased, "Get a hold of yourself. We're at a memorial function."
Michael laughed harder, bringing Nikita down to his level. As the couple laughed, the rest of the table stopped their individual conversations. Jokes were far more interesting. They had to join in on the fun. And Birkhoff knew the perfect way to keep making fun of Michael, "It's the lack of a beard. He loses all propriety."
"Do you actually know what that word means? Or is that the suit talking?" Alex snarked. The event was over, which meant the taunting could resume. Besides, if Sean- or even Ryan- were there, they'd have done the same. Making their friends relax and laugh was always the best.
"That wasn't very heroic, Ms. 'we can all be heroes'," In a very bad imitation of Alex- terrible, high-pitched, fake Russian accent, and all- Birkhoff picked at a line from her speech. It earned him a tousled napkin to the face, yet it was worth it.
"That's cause she was thinking about me when she said that," Nikita chimed in, saving the nerd from further torment. It was the one thing about Alex's speech that they could make fun of, namely because they never saw themselves as heroes before. That was just the public's reaction to them saving the world. The team had never been heroes, simply necessary.
"Yeah, right. You shot me," Instead of dwelling on that, however, Alex changed the subject completely. Lighter subjects should continue throughout the night. They needed the joy.
"Oh, get over it. I shot Michael and left him for dead, and we still fuck," Nikita probably should've ensured they were alone, or that she spoke quietly, before she responded. A guest shot the group of friends an offended look as they passed. Embarrassment blushed the former rogue's cheeks for just a second, but it was long enough for her friends to laugh at her. Her husband led the charge. Nikita turned to him with a glare and pinched his bare cheek, "Not tonight, though."
"Your loss," Michael smirked all too knowingly. Although Nikita was annoyed, she accepted her fate. She sipped some water as her friends continued to laugh around her.
More of the ceremony guests began to leave, granting the team of former rogues the freedom to become louder and livelier in their taunts. It was better when the friends were alone; they could be more themselves. They could also get away with saying mean things to each other, like Birkhoff did, "How do you win with that face? You look like an alien without your beard."
"You've seen me without facial hair," Sure, that was when they had both first joined Division. But Birkhoff had definitely seen Michael clean shaven before, just as the agent had seen the nerd with short hair. Their appearance couldn't be that shocking to one another.
"Exactly. You growing it in was the best decision you've ever made. And I'm including your marriage," Birkhoff indicated Nikita as if he had proven something, except all the married couple did was look at him like 'what the hell'. Even Sonya glanced at him strangely.
"That's true. They didn't tell us about it," Alex, however, added on to the nerd's claim. Despite the reception Michael and Nikita had afterwards, the team still wasn't there for their wedding- correction: elopement. After all the drama their friends witnessed, the couple eloped without them. So what if it wasn't planned, and they celebrated the happy event with everyone later. Their family should've been involved.
"You wanna bring up not sharing things?" Even though Alex's irritation was warranted, Nikita threw the comment back in her face. She had held important secrets from the team too; she wasn't that innocent. Mumbling a 'no', Alex let the topic drop- for that moment. Eventually, she'd bring it up again and make Nikita pay. She just had to think of a retribution plan first.
With a roll of her eyes, Sonya sighed. The team just kept jumping from one ridiculous thing to the next. As fun as it was, they somehow kept torturing the same points. It was time to move on, or at least express a different point of view. Not everything required the most dramatic of reactions, "I think you look great, Michael. Very dashing."
"Thank you, Sonya," Michael beamed. He shot a quick glance to Nikita as if to say 'I told you so'. But all he was met with in return was a challenging expression. Sonya tried not to, but she burst out laughing. She tried to get the team to settle, but she had forgotten who she was talking to. Oh well, whatever happened next was sure to be entertaining. It always was with the team, even if they were too much at times.
"Yeah, he's very dashing from those strong shoulders down. But elsewhere, I refuse to look at you," To make her point, Nikita held up a napkin to obscure her husband's face from her view. As Birkhoff, Sonya, and Alex laughed, Michael ripped the napkin from his wife's hands. She smiled oh so smugly at him. He wanted to kiss her so bad.
Yet he couldn't. And that made things worse. Nikita was spurred on to torture him. He received no reprieve, especially not from Alex, "You can't catch a break. Shaving your beard, marrying Nikita, since when did you become an idiot?"
"Well someone had to fill your shoes when you became a big star," Without much thought, Michael found himself replying. He wanted to blame his distraction with Nikita for the comment, but that sarcasm was building for a while. They had all made shots at Alex for her celebrity status. What was one more insult at the princess's expense.
"You did this to him. You made him a monster," Biting back her laughter, Alex accused Nikita for Michael's snide remark. Although he could be sarcastic on his own, that personal insult was inspired by his wife. Nikita's shrug of acceptance admitted as much.
"It's the beard. It had all of his sanity," Birkhoff quipped between chuckles. The chaos created from a clean shaven Michael was endless. His facial hair was what kept them sane.
"I thought it was the 'goatee of intimidation'," Recalling the old taunt, Michael attempted to trip the nerd up with his own words. It worked. Birkhoff stammered for a bit, trying to think of something else to say.
"See. I'm discombobulated without it," Soon, but not soon enough, Birkhoff copped out with a simple joke. He only received eye rolls and groans in response. He could've done better.
"Stop using words you don't know. The suit doesn't make you any smarter," Alex's joke garnered more laughter than Birkhoff's. It also let the taunts shift from Michael to the nerd. It was a good thing that he had cleaned himself up so well for the event, however, the strange clothing still had to be tormented. It was just how things worked for them.
Sonya knew that, she did. And she often joined in on the taunts. But she wanted to make fun of the team as a whole, instead of just her boyfriend. Besides, she liked Birkhoff's suit. She couldn't wait to take it off him when they were home. While they were in the emptying banquet hall, though, she jokingly chastised the team, "One thing changes, and you dissolve into chaos."
"Technically a lot of things have changed. Birkhoff is a real man. Alex is too good for us peasants. And my husband hates me," Moving incredibly close to her husband, Nikita bullied her friends. Birkhoff and Alex mumbled curses at her, yet she ignored them as she stared adoringly at Michael. He continued to fight the urge to kiss her.
Alex caught the struggle and smiled. She knew what Nikita was up to, well aware of the military's regulations on PDA in uniform. Helping her mess with her husband would be fun, "You're not gonna kiss and make up?"
"I can't while in uniform," Michael admitted ruefully. It was almost as though Nikita made herself extra cute and kissable after he informed the others of the regulation. She was going to keep teasing him until they got home, or until he found a way to make her stop. He doubted that was an option, however. He could never make her stop doing anything.
"Oh. So that draws the line on PDA," Birkhoff nearly shouted. He had every right to be exasperated, especially since they were the only ones left in the room. Michael could break the rules, and no one would know. Except, his damn code of honor was in effect. He would make the nerd suffer witnessing him and Nikita kiss at the safehouse (and other things he shouldn't have walked in on) but he wouldn't do anything in uniform. The disrespect.
"I don't wanna kiss a gross beardless man anyway. I'm going to see if my john's still here," Always the torturer, Nikita got to her feet. Michael grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back down. She was laughing too much to fight him, and he chuckled too much to glare.
Having not heard Nikita's previous comment about johns, Sonya, Birkhoff, and Alex glanced at each other in confusion. Sonya shook her head, "I'm afraid to ask what that means."
"Welcome to our future," Birkhoff waved his arms to indicate the insanity around them. The former rogues couldn't escape it if they wanted to. They were free from their strife, but they weren't normal. That was alright, though. The friends would rather be alive and together than normal. It made them happy, despite everything they had faced. Their family were the ones who lifted them up and gave them strength, after all.
"Let's hope it sticks," Holding up her glass, Alex called for a toast. As crazy as their lives always were, at least they could hope that laughter, joy, and fun would remain in their lives. The team clinked their glasses with hers.
"Like your beard should have," Nudging Michael, Nikita smirked. He poked her in the side, right where he knew she was ticklish, and she collapsed in giggles. Laughter from the others quickly followed. The family spent another hour talking and joking around before they finally called it a night; though, that was mostly because the cleaning crew had arrived. They promised to get together again soon as they parted ways. Although they annoyed each other, they needed their family. Their joy and ability to laugh together was what kept Sean's and Ryan's and so many lost loved ones' memories alive. They could be happy and free because of them.