What the heck did I just agree to?!

As soon as he was out of earshot and eyeshot, on the top floor of the castle, the beast slumped back against the wall and ran his claws through his head fur and wondered at exactly what point he had completely lost his mind.

There are people in my castle! And I just told them they gotta stay here! Hot Belgian waffles, I shoulda just thrown the kids out and told 'em never ta come back, this is getting out of control-

Except there really are KillBillies out there, and nobody deserves ta die like that.

...Well, except maybe one or two jerks I can think of. But that's not the point!

The beast decided that part of it was the old guy's fault.

He didn't know why, but something about him really got under his skin and made him feel even crankier than usual, and when he was cranky he was more likely to make dumb decisions.

He thought it was the way the geezer had just marched in here and started making demands at him; as well as he could remember, the beast had never liked people trying to tell him what to do. Especially not ones who talked with that stupid superior tone of voice, or who thought they were better than him just cuz they were human and he wasn't, grrrrr-

And yet.

And yet there'd been something oddly...refreshing, in how the old guy acted when he saw him for real.

The way he'd just stared at him with interest, instead of fear or disgust, and started spouting off a lot of lingo that the beast hadn't been able to entirely follow, but sounded like a bunch of scientific stuff that was kinda-sorta like praise.

It reminded him of-

Of-

Okay, he didn't know what, exactly, it reminded him of, but it was the same thing as when he saw the book those kids had been carrying around, which was now safely secured in his lair for him to take a look at later. He didn't know why he wanted it, or how he knew it didn't belong to them, but he knew it had to do with something important. Probably whatever it was that kept giving him headaches whenever he tried to think about it.

Also, it had been so long since he'd heard the sound of another voice besides his own...

Something tugged on his sleeve, and the beast finally realized that Wendy was trying to get his attention, probably had been for a while now.

The little fox tilted her head when he looked down at her, and gave him a somewhat reproachful stare.

The beast shrugged his shoulders and sighed.

"Yeah, I know. But what'd ya want me ta do? I-If I'd thrown him out, he probably woulda just gathered up a mob or something and stormed the castle. Seemed better ta just let him stay for now."

Wendy tilted her head, and her green eyes crinkled in her best imitation of a knowing smile.

"Wipe that look off your face," the beast growled. "I know what you're thinkin', and it's not like that! I am not getting soft!"

Wendy dipped her nose down in pretend contrition; he just flicked the end of it with the tips of his claws and then got to his feet.

"C'mon, let's see if there's any rooms we can stick 'em in. An' we better do it quickly, before Soos finds out we got guests-"

Down below, they heard a loud "ROOOO!" followed by startled yells, and a loud thud.

The beast groaned into his paw.

"Too late."

After the beast left, Dipper and Mabel instantly latched on to Ford, grabbing his hands like they were much younger children. Even Dipper was too anxious for some kind of security in this new and scary situation to be embarrassed about his clinginess.

"Grunkle Ford, did you just make a deal with a monster?" he asked when he found his voice.

Ford looked down at him in surprise. "...Yes, I suppose I did." His hand curled a little more securely around Dipper's.

"...Is it bad that I kind of wanna pet him?" Mabel asked, looking in the direction that the beast had gone.

The other two stared at her.

"I...would not advise it," Ford said at last. "Something tells me that he would not appreciate it."

She pouted. "But he's so fluffy!"

"He also has fangs that look like they could rip your arm off in one bite," Dipper felt obligated to point out.

"Ugh, fine. I'll see if I can pet the fox instead the next time I see it."

Ford changed the subject. "Why did you two wander out here in the first place? Especially when I told you not to go into the forest alone?"

Dipper flinched guiltily. He'd...been kind of hoping Ford wouldn't remember that.

Mabel was less intimidated by getting in trouble. "We found a picture of this place in your notes, and in an old book we found, and thought maybe if we came here we could find out why your memory's all messed up and fix it!"

"Mabel!" Dipper hissed.

She blushed, realizing that might not have been the most tactful way of putting it. "Um. I just-you know."

Ford flinched, and stared down at his muddy boots. "Yes, I...I'm aware that I am somewhat...deficient in that area."

Mabel wrapped both her tiny hands around his. "You're not deficient, Grunkle Ford, don't say that!"

Ford didn't look like he believed her, but he gave her a weak smile, and squeezed her fingers wordlessly.

Then his eyes widened.

"Wait. Old book-you mean that red one you tried to show me?"

Dipper felt his heartbeat pick up. "You remember it now?"

"I-I do!" Ford stared down at them with excitement rising in his face. "I-I think it's-it's-" He struggled for words.

"It had stuff in your handwriting," Mabel said helpfully.

Ford's whole face scrunched up, like he was trying his hardest to remember. At last, though, he let out a frustrated sigh.

"I need to see it. Where is it?"

Dipper deflated. "...The beast took it when he caught us. I dunno where it is."

At once the expression changed from frustrated and confused to very determined. "Well, I think he's about to give it back. If he knows what's good for him, that is."

And he released their hands, clearly about to go track the beast down and demand the journal's return, come hell or high water-but before he could, a new absolutely enormous creature came clambering up the stairs.

It wasn't the beast. Unlike him, it was walking on all fours, and its fur looked darker than his silvery gray. But that was the most they could see of it at this point.

As it reached the top of the stairwell, it froze, and lifted its head, clearly staring straight at them-then, without hesitation, it lunged forward with a loud roar, jumping up onto its hind legs and clamping massive paws down on Ford's shoulders before he could escape, which knocked him flat on his back-

And then it proceeded to cover his face in copious amounts of slobber.

Dipper screamed in alarm-until he realized that a) the creature wasn't harming Grunkle Ford, just licking him senseless, and b) it was a big brown dog, whose only threat level seemed to be that they were in danger of being knocked flat by how wildly its massive tail was wagging. He couldn't help laughing in sheer disbelief, that after all the fierce and terrifying things they'd had to encounter today, now they were dealing with...this.

"Dipper-bleagh-Mabel-" Ford spluttered, and pushed ineffectively at the dog while trying to keep any of its tongue secretions from getting in his mouth- "could one of you please-ugh-get it off-"

"SOOS!"

A massive gray claw reached down and grabbed the dog, lifting him into the air as easily as scruffing a puppy.

The beast gave the dog (Soos, was it? Interesting name choice) a stern glare. "What have I told you 'bout jumping up on people?"

Soos whined pitifully.

"I know you're excited. But you're not a puppy anymore, you're gonna hurt someone doin' that. Kay?"

Soos opened his mouth, and licked the beast's cheek. He rolled his eyes and batted him away.

"Yeah, yeah, knock it off, ya slobberin' mutt." He lowered his arm and set the dog down, picking up the lantern he'd brought up afterwards. Then he took one look at Ford, and immediately cracked up laughing.

It was admittedly not difficult to understand why: his hair was sticking straight up on two sides, his spectacles had been knocked askew, and his entire face and neck were damp, making him look like he had gone back out into the storm and run into a tree or something. Even Dipper found himself having to put a hand over his mouth when he got a good look at his uncle.

Ford slowly got to his feet, rubbing the back of his head and trying (unsuccessfully) to recapture what remained of his dignity. He glared at the dog, whose tail drooped.

At that moment the fox returned, and uttered a short yap. The beast looked at it, and it gestured with its nose towards the upstairs.

"We found a room for ya. C'mon." The beast gestured for them to follow him.

Dipper blinked. "Wha-you're not gonna keep us in there?" He indicated the room they'd been shut in.

The beast looked down at him. "You wanna stay in there?"

"Well-no, but-"

"Then what're you complainin' about?" He turned away again.

The three humans looked at each other, and then hesitantly followed him.

"How do you know what your animals are saying?" Mabel asked as they climbed the stairs. Then she let out a delighted gasp. "Can you understand their language or something?!"

The beast snorted. "Do I look like a fairy tale princess? Soos and Wendy've just been around long enough for me ta know what they wanna say."

"Oh." She looked disappointed.

Soos, who was padding at her side, let out a small whine and nuzzled his head against her shoulder until she smiled and patted him.

When they reached the top of the stairs, the fox (Dipper was going to assume that was who the beast meant by Wendy-and therefore he was going to go out on a limb and say that it was a girl) trotted over to a door and pushed it open with her paw. The beast peered inside, and nodded his approval; he turned back to them and made a gesture.

"Here ya go: home sweet home."

Cautiously the little family peered inside.

There was a large bed covered with a thick red quilt against one wall, and a few other pieces of furniture set up here and there that looked elegant, but dusty, and a curtained-off space in one corner that was probably a bathroom or something. On the whole, it was a once-very opulent room that had been left unused for a very long time, like a room on display in a museum, but might have the capacity to be comfortable.

"...It's nicer than where we were," Dipper admitted, before abruptly sneezing as some of the dust got in his nose.

The beast snorted with amusement. "That's seriously your sneeze, kid?"

"I know!" Mabel cooed. "He sounds like a kitten!"

Dipper glared at her, and rubbed his nose.

Ford, clearly seeing this as a window of opportunity, turned towards the beast.

"The children told me that you have-"

But the beast had already turned and casually smashed down the door of the room next to them, disappearing inside; they heard him rummaging around in there for a moment, before he reappeared carrying something rolled up and red, which he tossed at Ford.

"Here."

Ford unrolled it, and found to his surprise that it was a long red nightshirt.

"...What…?"

"Figured it might be nicer than sleeping in wet clothes," the beast said, turning back towards the stairs. "There's other clothes in there if ya wanna try 'em out, but if ya want anything in the latest fashion I'll probably haveta steal it."

Did he just say…?

As Dipper was trying to sort that out, Mabel let out a sudden horrified gasp.

"Oh no! Mr. McGucket and Tate! They're probably worried sick about us!"

Dipper realized, with a twinge of guilt, that he had completely forgotten about that possibility, and that it was more than likely true.

"Mr. Beast!" Mabel ran after the beast before he could leave, grabbing onto his sleeve, "we have friends that we live with who probably have no idea where we are!"

"Not my problem," the beast growled, pulling out of her grasp. "We still have a deal-"

"I just wanna send them a message to let them know we're okay!" She made her eyes go big, and clasped her hands together under her chin. "Pleeeeease?"

The beast hesitated, and then groaned. "Fine. I'll see if we've got any paper lying around-"

"No need." Ford reached into his pocket and produced some of the papers he used for his research, along with his pen, and leaned against the wall so he would have a flat surface to write on.

"Just no givin' 'em directions where ta find you," the beast growled.

Ford sighed. "Of course not."

Since he only had one piece of paper that was blank on one side (the other was covered in notes about the cervitaur herd he'd been studying that morning), and he had to restart a few times as he tried to figure out how to explain the situation, the message was forced to be somewhat concise:

Dear Fiddleford and Tate,

I found Dipper and Mabel.

Unfortunately we are now in indentured servitude to a beast, and don't know when we'll be back. However, we are all alive and well, and he seems to have no intention of hurting us.

I will try and figure out a way to get further messages to you as time permits.

-Stanford

Dipper and Mabel signed their names too; Mabel added, WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU! in big capital letters, and surrounded the words with hearts, before they allowed the beast to see.

He gave a small grunt of approval.

"So, where do your friends live?"

Ford (somewhat reluctantly) gave directions, and the beast turned to Wendy.

"Ya get all that?"

The fox nodded, and he held out the note to her; a second later she took it in her mouth, and ran off down the stairs.

"Welp, looks like that's all taken care of! See ya in the morning, or whatever."

And the beast lumbered away, leaving the lantern (and Soos) behind.

Ford nearly went after him to demand the book back again...but instead, he found himself turning to look at the children.

They both looked...exhausted.

He wasn't sure if it was more physical or emotional, but either way, it didn't seem like they'd appreciate being left alone right now. So instead he picked up the lantern, and with a small sigh headed into their new room. The children followed, and Soos padded along behind them, before flopping down in the doorway with a somewhat dramatic sigh.

Ford felt a little silly when he'd put on the voluminous nightshirt, but he had to admit it was nice to be in something warm and dry.

The children's clothes hadn't gotten as damp as his, but they found a couple of long men's shirts in the other room that they changed into.

After they were all dressed, Ford helped the children take the covers off the bed and shake them out in the main corridor, to get rid of the worst of the dust. Dipper let out a few more (admittedly quite humorous-sounding) sneezes as they did so, and both Mabel and Ford got a bit of dust up their noses as well (their sneezes were not quite as kitten-like).

Once that was done, they remade the bed, and then, not sure of what else to do, got into it. It was a little awkward, considering that they were all used to having beds to themselves, but though nobody said it, none of them felt comfortable separating.

Dipper and Mabel lay on either side of Ford, curling their fingers into the material of the nightshirt. Even though they were all comfortably burrowed under the blankets, he could feel them trembling against him.

Hesitantly, hoping it was the right action to take, he wrapped an arm around first Mabel, then Dipper, and gave them each a gentle squeeze.

He wanted to promise that things were going to be okay, since he was pretty sure that was what you told frightened children in situations like this...but the fact was, he wasn't sure they would, and he had never been very good at lying. So all he said, in a soft whisper, was, "Go to sleep, children."

And he waited until he heard their breathing even out on either side of him before he let his own eyes close.

Once they were all asleep, Soos got up from his spot on the floor and hopped up onto the bed so he could stretch out across their legs.

I imagine Soos as something between a St. Bernard and a golden retriever, but with darker fur.

Or whatever Alexander from Full Metal Alchemist was.