A/N:

You can read the full length M rated version of this on AO3 (Link in bio).

This fic acts as a Part 3 to 'you make me mad (I'm on fire again)' and 'I'll miss you on my lips'. This can be read as a standalone, however :)

...

James Potter shuffled from foot to foot and tried to rub warmth into his arms as he waited at King's Cross Station, facing the brick wall that led to Platform Nine and Three Quarters. It was the middle of December, and the air around him was freezing. A sharp, biting wind whistled through the station, and James was thankful for his coat and scarf.

He was waiting for Regulus to come through the other side. Regulus was in his final year of Hogwarts now, and he would be leaving the station soon for the Christmas holidays. He had no idea that James was waiting for him, though. James had spoken to Sirius before planning to meet Regulus, and Sirius had told him that Regulus was always expected back at Grimmauld Place for the Yule festivities, whether he wanted to go home or not.

Apparently both brothers had hated the stuffy traditions that their parents forced them to participate in, and James could only imagine that it would be worse for Regulus now that Sirius no longer lived at Grimmauld Place. So James had decided to surprise Regulus by meeting him at the station and whisking him away from the boredom that would no doubt await him at Grimmauld Place.

Despite the cold, James's stomach flooded with warm excitement as he imagined Regulus coming through the wall. He hadn't seen him since summer, after James graduated from Hogwarts. James had insisted that Regulus come to his house as much as he could, but that hadn't quite gone to plan. Regulus did come to the Potters' house a few times, but they never had the chance to be alone.

James actually found it mildly funny how they'd managed to have more private encounters in a castle full of teachers, students and hundreds of house elves and never get caught, yet they couldn't manage to sneak off anywhere when Regulus came over to visit. Sirius was always around, even more suffocatingly so when Regulus visited, James noticed. James had always known that Sirius held a protectiveness over his little brother—even though he quite frequently spoke disdainfully of Regulus and talked about how annoying or irritating he was to anyone who'd listen, Sirius had a tendency to lose his temper if anyone else spoke ill of him. That protectiveness had only tripled when he became aware that Regulus was having a relationship with someone, and it didn't seem to matter that it happened to be Sirius's best friend.

Even though Sirius did start to relent over the summer and grow more trusting of the relationship, he still apparently wasn't prepared to let James and Regulus out of his sight, as he'd make a conscious effort to be irritatingly present whenever Regulus was over, even going as far as to innocently join them if they decided to go for a walk somewhere to get out of the house.

James's parents were always home, too. Even though James was eighteen now, when Regulus came over to visit, Euphemia was adamant that Regulus wasn't allowed to share a bedroom with him. James hadn't told his parents that there was something intimate going on between him and Regulus—he wasn't sure of his own sexuality, whether he was gay or straight or what any of it even meant—but it seemed Euphemia had learned her lesson from allowing Remus and Sirius to share a room in times previous when Remus came over to visit. It didn't matter that Sirius wasn't her real son, she'd said—since he'd moved in with the Potters, he was as good as her son, and she wasn't going to let her sons practice premarital sex—not under her roof, anyway.

Initially Sirius had panicked, thinking that James's parents had a problem with him having a relationship with a man, but Euphemia had laughed at him when he voiced that concern. They promised that they didn't care about who Sirius was with, but Euphemia couldn't help but be a traditionalist at heart.

So, when Euphemia made a huge point of insisting that James sleep on the couch and he let Regulus sleep in his bedroom, James had been silently seething at Sirius. He blamed him for having loud, inconsiderate sex with Remus in his house, because if his parents had never found out about that, James would be happily snuggled up in his bed with Regulus and his mum and dad would be none the wiser.

Eventually, Regulus had to stop coming over as much during the summer. His parents were getting suspicious about the time he wasn't at home—Regulus hadn't been able to tell them who he was really visiting, given their dislike of James Potter ("that filthy blood traitor who stole Sirius away from me!") and the fact that Regulus would also be visiting his disowned brother, so Regulus had to pretend he was visiting various other school friends. But the Pureblood circle was tight, and it was becoming harder to lie about where he was going, so Regulus stopped coming.

When Regulus went back to school, they wrote to each other, but Regulus's replies became sparser and vaguer as time went on, and James was starting to worry that Regulus might be taking on too much stress.

James didn't really talk to Sirius about it, but it was bound to have an effect on Regulus, the fact that he was Walburga and Orion's sole heir. Sirius had complained about their unusual parenting methods before now, and the cruel way they used to treat him. According to Sirius, Regulus was the golden boy when Sirius still lived at home, mostly because wasn't laden with the same heavy expectations, but now that Sirius had been disowned from the family, it was highly likely that Regulus had fallen into Sirius's place.

There was also the amount of schoolwork that Regulus was no doubt overwhelmed with. James remembered all too well the sheer amount of revision and work he'd had to do in his seventh year. Sirius had told James many times about the enormous expectations that his parents had for his and Regulus's grades throughout Hogwarts, and James knew that Regulus was stubborn and determined enough to make sure he succeeded in all his subjects with flying colours, regardless of the additional stress it might cause him.

Then there was the impending strain of the rising threat of the so-called Dark Lord, who was amassing followers and causing harm to Muggleborns and Muggles across Britain, spreading his propaganda and vile hypocrisy about witches and wizards that he didn't think were good enough to be part of their society. Before James had graduated from Hogwarts, he'd heard whispers in the corridors about particular students, usually Slytherins, who were seduced by the darkness and power that the Dark Lord was luring them in with. It wouldn't be too hard to believe that Regulus could be bewitched by that darkness, especially if he was under so much pressure already.

But James was trying not to think about the darkness, or the Dark Lord, or the war that was probably looming on the horizon. He just wanted to see Regulus again, and spend time with him, and pretend that nothing bad was coming their way.

Every time a student passed through the wall, James's heart soared a little, only to droop when he realised it wasn't Regulus. After what seemed like an eternity, James recognised a familiar tall, slender person walking through the wall, with straw-coloured hair and a bird-like face. It was Barty Crouch, his face twisted with cruel laughter as he said something to the person who followed him through.

James resisted the urge to run straight over. Regulus was wearing a black coat over unassuming dark blue jeans, and his hair had grown out a little over the months since James had seen him. His wavy curls normally settled neatly around his face and he kept it cropped to just below his ears, but now it was long and unruly and blown out by the wind on the platform. James frowned as he realised that Regulus looked paler than normal, and he had dark purple circles around his eyes, as though he hadn't been sleeping well.

Barty waved at Regulus and then shot off across the platform, his eyes settling briefly on James before he vanished into the crowd. James started to walk towards Regulus, whose eyes lit up when he spotted him. "James," he said, his voice full of surprise.

James wrapped Regulus into a rib-crushing hug, caring little for anyone who might be watching them. Regulus hugged him back, then pulled away, looking up at him suspiciously.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you, too," James said, grinning. "I've come to pick you up, obviously."

Regulus furrowed his brow. "James...I told you, I have to go home. My parents—"

James pressed his thumb to Regulus's bottom lip. "No," he muttered. "You don't have to do anything but let me take you out of the station, out of London, so you can spend some time with me."

Regulus's eyes flickered across James's face. "For the whole holiday?" he asked finally.

"All two weeks," James confirmed. "I'll bring you back here when it's time for you to go back."

Regulus was silent for a few moments, and James could practically see the cogs whirring in his brain. "I want to," he whispered, looking down at the front of James's coat and threading his finger through one of the buttonholes. "I want to, so much. But James, my mum will go mad, she takes Yule so seriously."

James smiled. "What would you rather do?"

"Come with you, obviously. What kind of stupid question is that?"

"Then forget about them," James muttered. "And come with me." He leaned his face closer to Regulus's, so that he could whisper into his ear. "We haven't seen each other since summer, and even then we didn't get the chance to...spend any real time together...or finish what we started."

Regulus closed his eyes, his breath catching in his throat, and James knew he'd won.

…

"When you said you were picking me up, did you actually have a plan of where we were going?" Regulus asked as once he and James were sitting in the back of a black cab outside of King's Cross. He lowered his voice so that the cab driver wouldn't hear him. "And is there any real reason we're using Muggle transport?"

There was a reason behind James's madness, but to divulge too much information would give away his surprise. "Yes, there is," he replied. "Don't ask so many questions. It's a surprise."

"I don't know if I like surprises," Regulus said, grinning up at James.

"You don't like not being in control, that's your problem."

Regulus rolled his eyes, then sat up a little straighter. "James—I didn't bring anything with me."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought I was—I was meant to go home, so I didn't bring my trunk from Hogwarts or anything! James, what am I going to do without—why are you laughing?"

James couldn't help it. He'd really missed Regulus and his mannerisms, his sarcastic comments, his inexplicable dramatic response to something so small. Even though Regulus would rather die than admit it, there were a significant amount of similarities between him and Sirius. "You're panicking over the stupidest thing."

Regulus shot a glare at James. "Stupid? James, I can't wear the same clothes for two weeks. I haven't got a toothbrush or—"

"You can wear my clothes, okay?" James said, putting a hand on Regulus's knee. "And we'll buy you a toothbrush as soon as we get out."

"I don't have Muggle money. Will we need Muggle money?" Regulus hissed, eyeing the cab driver. "James, I didn't even bring any gold—"

"I have money!" James interrupted, squeezing his hand over Regulus's leg softly. "Calm down, you nutter."

Regulus slumped back against the seat and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

James sniggered again, and shook his head. "Honestly, it's like I'm trying to have a romantic getaway with your brother."

…

James didn't tell Regulus where they were going for the entire cab drive, despite his continuous attempts to find out. They drove and drove for several hours, until it was completely dark outside and the roads had gone from busy, well-lit urban roads to country lanes winding through farms and fields with no streetlights for miles.

"Are we at the coast?" Regulus finally asked, peering out of the window into the darkness. The taxi had pulled to a stop on the curb outside a row of residential houses, and James leaned forward, giving the driver a generous amount of paper money.

"Keep the change, mate," James said, before jumping out of the taxi and rushing around to grab the door for Regulus. "Yes, it's the coast," he confirmed, once the taxi had sped off into the night.

"I haven't been to the coast since…" Regulus murmured. "I don't know. Me and Sirius were kids. Uncle Alphard took us on holiday somewhere sunny with a beach."

"Well, it won't be sunny on the beach this time, I'm afraid." James threaded his fingers through Regulus's, and led him up the steps of one of the residential terrace houses that they were standing in front of. There was a sign above the door that read 'Dockside Boat & Bed'.

"James, what is this place?" Regulus asked, before James could press the doorbell.

"It's called a bed and breakfast," James explained. "A kind of...Muggle hotel. It's not like a proper hotel, it's a house with rooms that have been adapted for people to stay, and the owners will give us breakfast in the morning." James smiled reassuringly at Regulus, who still didn't look sure.

"I've never stayed in a Muggle place before," Regulus added in a whisper. "What if I say something that makes it obvious I'm not…"

James squeezed Regulus's hand confidently. "Just let me do the talking. Stop worrying so much." He pressed the buzzer on the side of the door, and a voice crackled over an intercom, making Regulus jump.

"Hello, Dockside Boat and Bed."

"What is that?" he hissed, clutching James's arm.

James cleared his throat. "Hello, James Potter. I made a telephone reservation."

"Telephone…" murmured Regulus. James nudged him in the ribs. There was the sound of shuffling papers, and then the woman spoke again.

"Ah, yes, you're a little later than expected. The door will open in a moment, please make your way through to reception." There was a click, and James grabbed the door handle and led Regulus into the house.

The middle-aged lady behind reception looked tired, and James wasn't really surprised—the clock behind her read eleven-forty-five. She booked James and Regulus in, scribbling in a large leather book, and then handed James a key with a red plastic card attached to it. "Your room is on the top floor." She eyed James and Regulus momentarily. "You...reserved a double room, you know? We don't have any twin rooms at this establishment."

James nodded. "Yep. That's fine."

The woman nodded. "Okay, well, feel free to go and make yourselves comfortable. Breakfast is served between seven and eleven." The woman closed her book, and nodded towards a door on the left hand side of her desk. "It's a good job you didn't bring any luggage with you, you have a lot of stairs to get up."

James and Regulus left the room and started climbing up the three flights of stairs to the very top floor. By the time they reached the final room at the highest point of the house, Regulus was clutching his chest. James laughed. "Bloody hell, Reg. You're out of shape."

"I haven't got much time for keeping up to my physique with back to back exams," Regulus grumbled through gasps for air. "Clearly Auror training is keeping you in tip-top condition."

James grinned as slid the key into the lock. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

The room was nice enough. There was a small double bed crammed into the narrow room, with a nightstand on one side of the bed that held a tray with a kettle and two cups, and another door led to a minute bathroom. The decor was a little bit frilly, with pink satin on the sheets and a gilded portrait of a fluffy white cat over the bed.

"It looks like Professor Merrythought decorated it," Regulus said, sniggering. He sat on the edge of the bed. "James, did you bring any luggage?"

James rolled his eyes and pulled his wand out of his pocket. "Did you forget we're wizards?" He dug around in his coat, and showed Regulus a very tiny suitcase—like it belonged to a doll. He put it down on the floor and tapped it with his wand, and it expanded into a full sized one before their eyes.

"Shrinking charm," Regulus announced. "Very clever."

James shoved the case up against the wall and started to take off his coat. "I didn't pack pyjamas, though," he said. "I don't wear them."

Regulus laughed. "Well, I do."

James kicked off his shoes and threw his coat over the case, then leaned over the bed to finally press his lips to Regulus's, like he'd been waiting to do since he walked through the wall of Platform Nine and Three Quarters. "That's a shame, then, isn't it? Seeing as there isn't anything you can wear. I suppose you'll just have to sleep naked."

"It wouldn't be the first time, would it?"

James laughed. Regulus was talking about the first time they'd been intimate with each other, during a detention back at Hogwarts. They had been practicing Quidditch in the pouring rain, and after an explosive argument that resulted in the changing room being trashed, Madam Hooch had locked them in the changing room overnight. They had been forced to shed their wet clothes and share a sleeping bag just to keep warm.

Things had been considerably different between them after that night.

Regulus curled his arm around James's neck and pulled him back onto the bed, kissing him back fervently. James leaned over Regulus, threading his fingers into his unruly hair, combing his fingers through it as he kissed him. "I missed you so much," he murmured into Regulus's mouth. "I missed this. I missed us."

Regulus buried his face into James's neck, and James held him close. "I missed you too," he replied thickly.

"Come on," James said softly. "It's late, and I have a lot planned for our holiday. Let's get some rest."

Regulus nodded, and James climbed off the bed to start undressing. Regulus sat up and faced the wall as he removed his own coat, and started to take off his jumper and shirt. James turned around just as Regulus had undressed down to his underwear, and he sucked in a gasp.

Regulus had always been slender, but he appeared to have lost more weight since James had seen him last. His skin was pulled taut over his shoulder blades, his collarbone was sharp, and his hip bones jutted out over the waistband of his boxers. "Regulus…" James whispered, and he crawled over the bed towards Regulus, placing a hand on his snow-white back softly. Regulus turned to glance at James over his shoulder.

"Hmm?" He murmured, and turned to face James properly. James ran his hand along Regulus's shoulder, his collarbone, his chest, his ribs, and the hollow of his stomach.

"Haven't you been eating?"

Regulus rolled his eyes, and moved up the bed to climb under the quilt. James did the same. "I've been...busy with stuff. A bit stressed, I suppose. I might have lost a little bit of weight."

James slid an arm around Regulus and pulled him into his chest. He suddenly seemed so frail, so delicate. He took Regulus's hand and circled a thumb and finger around Regulus's narrow wrist. Suddenly he realised he had a new motive for his Christmas holiday with Regulus. He didn't just want to spend time with him before he went back to Hogwarts. He wanted to breathe some life back into him.

Regulus started to press his lips to James's neck and let his hands wander, but James caught his hands and stilled them. He was afraid to hurt Regulus. He was afraid he would break him. He suddenly seemed as fragile as a glass doll in James's arms.

"We have two weeks," he whispered to Regulus, kissing him softly on the forehead. "We don't need to rush things. Let's just enjoy the time we have."

Surprisingly, Regulus didn't argue. The drive had tired him out (and probably the trek up three flights of stairs). He nuzzled into James's chest, and James buried his face into the top of Regulus's hair, breathing in the smell of his minty shampoo.

Regulus fell asleep first. His arms loosened around James's torso as he drifted into sleep, and he fell back onto the pillow. James stroked Regulus's hair softly as Regulus breathed evenly, until he started to slip into a slumber alongside him.

…

James awoke with a start to the sound of screaming. Regulus was thrashing in bed alongside him, wrestling the covers away from his body as he sat bolt-upright in bed, gasping for breath. James sat up and grabbed Regulus around the middle, pulling him up to the top of the bed. Regulus tried to wrestle James's hands away from his body, crying out as he did. "No, no, let me go!" He was hysterical. He was panicking.

"Regulus!" James shouted. Regulus stilled in his arms instantly. His breath was quick and laborious, and his skin was slippery with cold sweat. "Regulus...calm down…"

Regulus leaned back against James, sobbing. "I'm sorry…" he gasped. "I'm sorry, James."

"Just take some deep breaths," James sat up against the headboard and pulled Regulus's head against his chest. "It was a nightmare, that's all." He rubbed his hands deftly across Regulus's back, trying to massage out the tension that was built in his shoulders. Slowly, Regulus's breath started to slow, and he relaxed into James. "Regulus…"

"I'm sorry," Regulus repeated.

"Stop apologising." James kissed the top of Regulus's head. "How long have you been having nightmares like that?"

"I don't know," Regulus murmured. "A couple of months."

"What are they about?" James had a thousand things running through his mind, and a thousand ideas of what could possibly be causing Regulus such a great deal of upset. He was sure it wasn't just schoolwork that could be giving him nightmares. James's thoughts wandered to Regulus's parents, and the stories of their cruelty that he'd heard from Sirius. Then he thought about You-Know-Who, and how many of Regulus's school friends had already turned over to the dark side. Just how much stress was Regulus under? His arms tightened around Regulus, as though he could protect him from whatever darkness was trying to take him.

"I don't want to talk about it," Regulus replied. "It's better...it's better now I'm with you. Please, James."

James nodded. He didn't want to push Regulus. He'd speak to him in his own time. He'd brought Regulus here to have fun and spend quality time with him, not cause him any further stress. He lay back down on the bed and pulled the sheets over them both, and he didn't let go of Regulus for the rest of the night.

…

The next day, James woke Regulus up early, despite his protests and grumbles. He tried to pull James back into bed, but James wouldn't relent, even though it was so warm and comfortable to be under the sheets with Regulus. He dragged Regulus out of bed and into the shower, forcing him under the warm water. Regulus dragged James in with him, even though there was barely enough room to move with one person.

Regulus let James rub the complimentary shampoo into his hair and lather him up with soap. "What's all this about?" he mumbled as James washed him down, then dragged him out of the shower and started to pat him dry.

"Nothing," James replied. "Can't I just look after you?" He wrapped the fluffy white towel around Regulus's shoulders, and then dug around in the suitcase for clothes for them both.

Regulus complained so much about having to wear James's baggy jeans and t-shirt that James eventually promised to buy him more clothes once they were out, even James secretly thought it was adorably attractive, seeing Regulus in his clothes and not the usual pressed, smart black clothes he normally wore. They went down to the dining room, Regulus moaning all the way and tripping over the too-long jeans, and the same receptionist from the night before served up a full English breakfast, complete with coffee and orange juice.

Initially, Regulus tried to request cereal, but James shook his head firmly. "It's Christmas," he insisted. "I'm going to fatten you back up, and I don't want to hear any arguments about it."

Regulus rolled his eyes, but relented anyway, and ate as much of the greasy breakfast as he could until James was satisfied. "So, where are we going today?"

"I told you before," James replied. "It's a surprise."

…

James took Regulus into a Muggle town by the seaside, and bought him clothes that fit him from charity shops (luckily Regulus didn't understand that the clothes were secondhand, or he might have turned his nose up at James's offerings), and looped his own knitted scarf around Regulus's neck, much to his irritation. "I don't need this," he muttered, though he didn't fight James off. "Where did you even get it?"

James fingered a loose hole in the red scarf. "My mum knitted it for me," he replied. "You need it more than me right now. It's going to be freezing by the sea."

"By the sea?" repeated Regulus.

"Yep," James replied with a grin. He linked his arm through Regulus's and dragged him through the town, towards the beach, where the pier was lit up with flashing neon lights, loud music echoed across the seafront, and funfair rides could be seen stretching high into the air. Regulus's eyes widened considerably at the sight.

"What is this place?" he asked, perplexed.

"It's a funfair," James explained. "I'm going to take you on the rides, and buy you candyfloss, and if you're lucky we'll play Hook-a-Duck—"

"What is candyfloss?" Regulus interrupted. "What are you talking about?"

James laughed and dragged Regulus across the road to the pier. "Just go with it, okay? It'll be fun."

Regulus kept his hand clasped securely in James's as James led him through the throngs of people. He watched as James exchanged Muggle money for plastic tokens, and then started to point out various rides and explain what they were.

"That's the Ferris Wheel," he said, pointing to the largest structure; a huge metal circle with little benches attached, where people were sitting as the wheel spun around. "We'll go on that last, when it gets dark and we can see all the Christmas lights on the road."

"I've seen one of those," Regulus replied. "It's...it's like the wheel in Muggle London."

"The London Eye," James confirmed. "Those are Dodgems." He gestured to a flat, covered expanse of ground, where several small vehicles whizzed around, bumping into each other furiously.

James went through each and every ride with Regulus, describing them in as much detail as he could. Regulus seemed awed by everything he saw, and he finally turned to James, his brows raised. "How do you know so much about all this Muggle stuff? Your parents are both magic, aren't they? Yet you know about all of this, and you know your way around their money," Regulus paused. "I feel...I've never felt so stupid, or like such an alien."

James smirked. It humoured him slightly, knowing how smart Regulus was in school. Regulus had been nominated to give James extra Potions sessions when James was in his last year, that was how clever he was in school—but out here in the real world, he was as uncertain as a child.

"Remus showed us a lot of this stuff," James explained. "His mum is a Muggle, so he knew about all of this. When we got together during the holidays, he would show us carnivals and circuses and other crazy Muggle stuff. He taught us their currency and the types of technology they use."

"So...Sirius knows about all of it, too?"

James grinned. "Yeah. Why do you think he started listening to those noisy metal bands? Remus took him to a concert in a park once and he was enamoured."

"I don't know how he kept quiet about it for so long," Regulus murmured. "There's so much...how did he never tell me about this?"

James pressed his lips together. "Sirius didn't know how you'd react to it, Reg," he said. "He was never sure how...how much of an influence your parents had over you."

Regulus was quiet. He nodded after a few moments. "Yeah. Yeah, I suppose I understand that."

For the next few hours, James insisted that Regulus went on every single one of the rides, despite any of his protests. Regulus demanded a break after they'd been on the Dodgems. James had thrashed all the other cars until the man who was monitoring the ride had to tell him off for bumping too much.

He bought them hot chocolate in styrofoam cups, and they sat on a bench, sipping their drinks carefully. James smiled at Regulus, admiring his blown-back hair, swept back by James's aggressive Dodgem driving, his cheeks and nose reddened by the cold, and his wide grey eyes, which were reflecting the twinkling fairy lights around them.

They ate hot dogs for lunch and James insisted that Regulus try the candyfloss. Regulus didn't understand how to eat it at first, unsure whether to bite straight into the pink fluff or peel it away from the stick. James took a shred away and placed it into Regulus's mouth carefully.

"Sweet," Regulus said with a smile. "These Muggles...the things they come up with."

"They're a lot more interesting than some of our peers would let us believe, right?" James said, putting a piece of candyfloss into his own mouth.

Regulus nodded slowly, and James wished he knew what he was thinking about. While Regulus was distracted, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Regulus's, tasting the sugar on his lips. "You're beautiful like this, Regulus."

Regulus looked down at his hands, his face glowing, but a small smile creeping onto his lips. "You're so cheesy, James. Are you trying to be smooth so you have your way with me later?" He grinned.

James sniggered. "I can be smooth."

He proved how smooth he could be when the sun started to go down. He traded in their final tokens for entry onto the Ferris Wheel, and when their bench got right to the topmost point of the wheel and Regulus was staring in awe at all the Christmas lights on the road, he leaned right over and kissed him.

…

James took Regulus back to the bed and breakfast for one more night. Regulus was giddy with excitement from the day, and he fell back on the bed, smiling at the ceiling. "I can't believe how nice those things were—what were they, James—the sugary rings that were kind of hot—"

"Donuts," James said, grinning. He kicked off his shoes and climbed on the bed with Regulus.

"Yeah. So weird, the way they were kind of crunchy but soft on the inside. And that pink fluff, I still can't understand how they even made that—"

"Candyfloss," James laughed. "I told you, it's just sugar, they have some kind of contraption that spins it really fast until it...you know, goes fluffy."

"And all the music," Regulus continued. "And the lights, and the rides."

"What was your favourite?" James asked, rolling on his side to face Regulus.

"The Ferris Wheel," Regulus replied. "It was so beautiful to be up there, looking out at the sea and all those lights." His voice sounded slightly wistful and faraway, as though he was picturing it. "Did you see?"

James nodded, but he hadn't seen, not really. He'd been too busy watching Regulus the entire time.

Regulus fell asleep quickly and heavily. James pulled his shoes and jeans off for him, and Regulus still didn't wake up, so James covered him up with the blankets, then climbed under with him. He pulled Regulus into his arms and fell asleep shortly after.

Regulus didn't wake up with nightmares that night, and James had never slept better in his life.

…

The next day, James bundled them both into another cab, and they drove further inland this time. After a few hours of watching the rolling countryside whizz by, they arrived in a quaint Muggle city with cobbled streets and an enormous, silvery church that James heard someone call a 'Minster'.

There was a market in the city, more specifically a Christmas market. Dozens of small wooden cabins were set up across the streets, decorated with tinsel and fairy lights, each boasting various handmade gifts and sweets and drinks. James and Regulus stopped and looked at everyone, awed by the eccentric Muggle inventions and creations, but neither more awed than Regulus.

"What is that?" he asked as they stopped at every single stall, reaching to touch wooden ornaments or take a sample of chocolate or cheese or some other delicacy. James loved seeing Regulus so alight in the market, practically dragging James across the cobbles to the next peculiarity.

They sat in a huge, cone-shaped tent with other patrons as it started to get dark, with a fire burning in a pit in the middle. They were served mulled wine and huge mugs of beer and a coffee-flavoured liqueur that Regulus seemed extremely fond of. As they walked back to their residence for the evening, they watched the sunset over the Minster, and Regulus murmured drunkenly about how beautiful the glassy roof looked, glowing with the pink warmth from the setting sun.

When they got back to the hotel, Regulus stumbled onto the bed, laughing as he started to shed his clothes, and scrabbling to pull James towards him. They kissed messily, and James tried to ease Regulus back into bed. "You're drunk," he muttered, smiling down at him and pushing a hand through his fringe. "Go to sleep. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I'll be taking you to one more place. Then we're staying there for the rest of Christmas."

Regulus pouted. "I don't want to sleep, James," he said heatedly. There was a familiar wicked spark in his eye, one that James had seen briefly over their shared days together, but he hadn't yet done anything about.

James let Regulus pull him back into a kiss. He locked his arms around James's neck and curled his leg around his waist, effectively pulling James on top of him. Regulus trailed his hands down James's back and started to pull at his t-shirt, so James discarded his clothes obediently. Regulus smoothed his hands across James's back, and James dipped his head to kiss Regulus on the collarbone.

He was reminded momentarily of just how tapered Regulus's collar was. Even though colour had started to bloom on Regulus's waxen skin and he was eating enough that his cheeks no longer looked sallow, Regulus was still worryingly thin. James was almost scared to touch him too hard, for fear of him breaking in his hands.

Regulus apparently had no such fear. He pulled James's head into his chest urgently, and pushed his body wantonly against James's hands, desperate for his touch. James tried to roll back to lie alongside Regulus, and to calm their kisses. Eventually, Regulus became frustrated, and he pulled back to glare at James through the dark. "What is wrong with you?" he demanded to know. "Why don't you want me?"

"I do want you!" James replied indignantly. "More than anything. It's just...you're drunk, Regulus."

"I'm not that drunk," snapped Regulus. "Slightly tipsy, maybe. But believe me, I'm sobering up very quickly now I'm realising that you don't want to sleep with me."

James fell quiet for a few moments, then sat up in bed. "I do want to, Reg," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. He wasn't sure how to explain his feelings to Regulus. He wasn't entirely sure how to explain them to himself.

"Don't you fancy me anymore?" Regulus asked softly. "When we were back at Hogwarts...you couldn't get enough of me. You always wanted to kiss me, and touch me, and...we came so close to actually...you know…"

James knew. They had been intimate with each other on many occasions, but they'd never actually lost their virginities yet. James had expected it to happen during the times when Regulus came to visit him over the summer, but then his mother had insisted that he couldn't share his bedroom with Regulus, and Sirius wouldn't leave them alone for five minutes. He wanted it to happen while they were away on their romantic holiday, he planned for it to happen…

"I'm scared, okay?" James said finally, putting his face in his hands.

Regulus sat up too, and put a hand on James's shoulder. "What? What are you scared of? I didn't think you were scared of anything."

James laughed bitterly, and looked down at the bedsheets, hoping Regulus couldn't see his face burning. "Back in Hogwarts, I didn't like you like I do now, Regulus," he started. "In fact...when we first met properly...you know I actually couldn't stand you. You were an obnoxious dickhead."

"And you were as thick as two short planks."

"And when we spent that night together in detention," James interrupted. "I realised I did fancy you. I do fancy you. But…"

"But what, James?" Regulus said, his voice barely a breath.

James turned around to face Regulus, feeling his eyes prickling with unshed tears. "I love you, okay? I fucking love you. And I'm scared—I'm scared I'm going to ruin this, or that I'm going to hurt you, because you've come back from Hogwarts a bit different—so thin and frail and having nightmares and I'm scared, Reg!" he dissolved into tears, hating himself for being so weak in front of Regulus, when he wanted to be strong for him.

Regulus pulled James back down onto the mattress, holding his head in the crook of his neck, and let James cry for what seemed like hours. When James finally started to catch his breath, Regulus tipped James's head up by the chin and pressed their lips together softly.

"I love you too."

…

On Christmas Eve, James took Regulus back south again. It was the longest drive yet, and he was adamant he wasn't going to give Regulus even the slightest clue.

He enjoyed the surprise on Regulus's face when the cab pulled up in the middle of absolutely nowhere, on the edge of a frost-tipped forest. They trudged through the woods, climbing through the bracken until they reached a hut in the middle of a clearing. A middle aged man with a reddened, jolly face and pushing a wheelbarrow full of logs greeted them. "Hullo, folks!" he said in a deep country accent that James couldn't quite place. "Are you here for the cabin?"

"Yes, reserved under Potter," James said. "Five nights from today."

"Excellent, yes, I remember. You're our only visitors until the day after Boxing Day, so you have the whole Christmas period to yourselves."

James nodded. "That's great."

"This way, I'll show you to your cabin. You have full cooking facilities, a heated shower and a hot tub, though if you want that heating up, you'll want to get the fire on as soon as you get settled. There's a telephone access point on your lot, you can call through to the reception hut whenever you need anything or if there's an emergency. You have a cool box loaded with ice to keep your food and drink fresh…"

The man's voice tailed off as James and Regulus followed him through a trail in the woods, leading them to another small clearing that had about five log cabins scattered around the edges. They were all painted different colours, and they were led to one that was decorated brightly with yellow and orange.

The man let them get settled in alone after that, giving them one more instruction to call him if they needed anything, and he disappeared back into the trees, leaving James and Regulus alone.

"So, this is home for the next few days," James said, grinning at Regulus as he pushed open the cabin door. "I know it's not much. I know it's not like Hogwarts or your mansion back in London, but—"

"It's perfect," Regulus said as he followed James into the cabin. "It's better than perfect."

There wasn't much room in the cabin—a tiny area with a table in front of the door, and then the entire upper area was filled with a double mattress, with a small ladder leading up to it. The shower and toilet was in a separate cabin, and the fire-powered hot tub was around the back, away from prying eyes of any other visitors that might be on the campsite.

"I know it's not like anything you probably do at home for Yule," James continued.

"I'd rather be here than be home for a thousand Yules," Regulus replied. "Two weeks of stuffy clothes and pointless rituals and speeches and the rest...it's exhausting. I hate all of it."

James climbed up the ladder onto the bed, flopping down onto the mattress. The ceiling was low, and it probably could have made him feel quite claustrophobic, if it wasn't for the fact that he'd be snuggled up in the small space with Regulus. As though he could read his mind, Regulus climbed up on the bed with James, settling his head down on James's chest.

They lay there like that for some time, mostly in silence. Eventually it started to get dark outside, and James went outside to light the small firepit outside. They sat in wicker chairs by the fire, and James dug out a tin kettle to boil some tea over the flames.

"This is nice," Regulus said, looking up at the stars once the sky was completely dark. "This might just be the best Christmas I've ever had."

"It's not even Christmas Day yet," James said with a grin.

"Don't you normally have an enormous dinner on Christmas Day?" Regulus asked. "How are we going to eat a huge dinner in this cabin? Not that I'm complaining."

"Don't think you're getting out of it," James reached over and prodded Regulus in the stomach. "I have a plan for dinner, don't worry."

"What is it?"

"That would be telling."

Regulus rolled his eyes and grabbed at James's prodding hands, then jumped out of his seat to climb onto James's knee. James curled his hands around Regulus's narrow hips and buried his face into his neck, breathing in his scent. "I love you," he murmured. Since he'd said it the first time, he hadn't been able to stop saying it. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

"I love you." Regulus pulled James's head back and kissed him. Just as James was deepening the kiss, Regulus climbed out of his lap and pulled at his hand. "Come on."

James raised his eyebrows.

"Bed," Regulus confirmed, his grey eyes glittering dangerously. He went back into the cabin, leaving James by the fire, missing the warmth of Regulus in his lap.

After a few minutes, James took a deep breath and followed Regulus into the cabin. It was dark, almost too dark. There were only fairy lights to illuminate the campsite, so the cabin was basking in the secondhand glow from the bulbs outside the single circular window.

"Take off your clothes." Regulus's voice came from the bed. James removed his clothes slowly, feeling as though he was about to be naked in front of Regulus for the first time, even though it wasn't. He took his glasses off last, folding them up and placing them on the small table, then climbed up the ladder and onto the bed, and settled onto the mattress beside Regulus.

Regulus moved closer to James languidly, his arms sliding around James's shoulders and pressing their bare chests flush together. He caught James's lips between his, and kissed him softly, slowly, tangling his fingers into James's hair. James sighed into the kiss and let his palms connect with the slight curve of Regulus's waist, letting his thumbs trace small circles on his skin. Regulus's breath caught in his throat, and he rolled onto his back, letting James lean over him.

Their kisses became more desperate, more determined. Regulus's hands started to travel lower, making James hiss in response. "Regulus," he murmured into Regulus's mouth. "Are you...are you sure…"

"James…"

"Hmm?" James replied in between kisses.

"I'm going to be rubbish at this," he whispered. "Our first time."

"I think everyone's first time is rubbish," James whispered. "But you'll be amazing. You are amazing."

...

Afterwards, they lay next to each other for a few moments, gasping for breath, their hair sticking to their faces and the covers pushed to the bottom of the mattress, forgotten.

"You were right," Regulus murmured. "That was amazing."

…

They woke up early on Christmas Day, and James still wouldn't tell Regulus what he had planned. His surprise didn't exactly go as he expected it to however. There was a sharp knock on the cabin door, exactly two hours before James had expected it.

He opened the door and Sirius and Remus stood there, both holding foil-covered food trays. Remus was grinning, but Sirius was frowning.

"Merry Christmas, guys!" James greeted, leaning forward to kiss Remus on the cheek. When he moved towards Sirius, Sirius backed up.

"Have you been kissing my brother with that mouth?" he asked suspiciously.

James rolled his eyes and took the trays from Sirius and Remus, placing them on the small table.

"Where is my lovely brother, anyway?"

"Here," Regulus said, from behind Sirius and Remus. He had just come out of the shower, and his wet hair was sticking to his head.

Sirius eyed him suspiciously too. "Merry Christmas, Reg," he said, and gave his brother a tentative, one-armed hug. "Glad tidings to you and your king. You know, it smells a lot like sex in here—"

"I suppose you'll want to get back to Moony's?" James interrupted loudly. "Make sure you give Hope my thanks, mate, for making us dinner."

"She was only too happy to do it," Remus replied. "You know she cooks enough to feed the five-thousand."

It took at least ten minutes, and Remus eventually had to drag Sirius off, but finally James and Regulus were able to spend Christmas by themselves. They ate their way through the mountain of Christmas dinner that Hope had sent them, then lay back on the wicker chairs by the fire, staring up at the sky as they rubbed their aching stomachs.

"I got you something," Regulus finally said. "Back at the Christmas market."

"I thought you didn't have any money?" James replied, raising an eyebrow.

"I may or may not have been able to magically convince the seller that she wanted me to have it for free."

"So you stole me a present?" James sniggered. "You're such a crook."

"Well, I can always take it back—"

"—no, no, I want to see it!"

Regulus smirked and fished in his pocket for a small, wrapped gift, about the size of his fist. He handed it to James, and James unwrapped it quickly.

"It's not much, but I thought it was sweet."

It was a tiny wooden sculpture of two figures—two male figures—sat side by side with their arms around each other. One was leaning its head on the other one's shoulder. They were just plain wood, no paint or noticeable decoration, just a small, heart-shaped gemstone glued to the chest of each figure.

James smiled, feeling his eyes watering, and he looked at Regulus. "Thank you, Reg. This is…"

"I know, it's just a stupid little thing."

"No," James said, and he reached over to kiss the corner of Regulus's mouth. "I love it. I love you. I just…" he sighed. "I didn't get you a gift. I was so wrapped up in planning this whole holiday that I didn't even think—"

"I don't want a gift," Regulus replied, shaking his head. "You've given me so much while we've been here. You've given me the best Christmas of my life."

…

The rest of the Christmas holiday seemed to fly by in a daze. They didn't leave the cabin for much other than to use the hot tub or the shower cubicle, and spent most of their time in bed, exploring each other with the remaining time they had left.

All too soon James was taking Regulus back to King's Cross in January. He didn't want to let go of Regulus's hand after they rushed through the wall onto the Platform. James looked up at the Hogwarts Express, wishing that he could get on the train with him.

Would it be so bad to go back to Hogwarts until September? Just so he could be with Regulus until he graduated?

Regulus shook his head as though he could read James's thoughts. "I'll see you again at Easter?"

"Yes, you will," James murmured, squeezing Regulus's hand. "And I expect you to write to me, this time."

Regulus hung his head. "Yeah. I'll make sure I get better at keeping up to letters, I promise."

James kissed Regulus on the forehead, ignoring the other people that looked over at them, and Regulus started to drift away to the train, smiling back at James.

"I'll see you really soon, James."

Then he was on the train, moving through the carriages. James watched him settle in a carriage and peer through the glass, waving at James.

James stayed on the platform right until the train had started moving slowly. He stayed there until it was out of sight.

He didn't leave the platform until the tears had dried on his cheeks and every other parent and relative and friend of the returning students had vanished. "I'll see you really soon," he whispered.

He really hoped it was true.

Written For:

- Assignment #10/Beauty Therapy Task #2: Write about someone being treated like they're fragile or delicate.

- Writing Club/Gotta Catch Them All: 21. (plot point) staying warm

- Writing Club/This or That: Winter 10. (setting) Winter/Christmas Market

- Writing Club/Showtime: 17. (plot point) a reunion

- Writing Club/Film Festival: 22. (plot point) a reunion

- Writing Club/Artist Appreciation: 14. (plot point) watching the sunset

- Writing Club/Buttons: Words 4. Spark

- Writing Club/TV Spree: 8. (word) sarcastic

- Writing Club/Sophie's Smut Bucket: 2. (word) wicked

- Autumn Seasonal/Days of the Year: 7th December - National Cotton Candy Day: Write about someone going to a carnival/fair.

- Autumn Seasonal/Jewellery Month: 17. (object) Key

- Autumn Seasonal/Colours: 8. Dark Purple

- Autumn Seasonal/Flowers: 3. (dialogue) "It was a nightmare, that's all.

- Autumn Seasonal/Crystals & Gemstones: 7. (scenario) Trying to calm a panic attack

- Fortnightly/Pretty Much Almost Christmas: (object) Key

- Fortnightly/Jukebox Day: 10. (location) Hotel

- Moony's Neon Cafe/Food: 20. (weather) Cold

- Sandwich Time/Fillings: 18. (word) fragile

- November Monthly Insert Title: 4. (genre) romance

- Celebrating Women: 27. (dialogue) "I can be smooth."

Word Count: 9,583