AN: To say there's significantly few male characters in this story is an understatement. Apart from patients, and Sonorese who've we yet to meet, who is there to remind us that the Y chromosome actually exists. Well good news, we'll be introduced to him in this chapter.Not only that but it's rather strange for characters to not have friends. Just loyal, uncomplicated, supportive, kick-up-the-backside friends. Pansy deserves a bloody good friend.
4th December 2003, Evening
Pansy hated a silent house. Or general silence anywhere. A completely silent building or area doesn't come about often, because things make noise. Ticking clocks, raindrops on the windows, even small movements and shuffling of clothing. To most people those are the annoying things that act as a disturbance, but to Pansy they're blessings.
It's partly a phobia, though not at the severe vomiting-your-guts-out level. Pansy would only need to intentionally make noise in order to restore her comfortable state. She's had this since childhood, and if you asked her to recount her discovery of this uneasy feeling, she'd say being deaf for a day when she was nine probably had something to do with it.
Her father used a charm she's sure was banned for domestic use, as a disciplinary tactic. "You never listen, so what good are your ears?" Whatever he hoped to achieve from that, it certainly wasn't a method of her mother's liking. Not to mention Pansy's, who couldn't even hear how loud she cried.
That's a therapy session for another day, but back to the silence. There's also the connotations of silence that always reminds Pansy of bad things. Death, as the obvious one. Tension after an argument. And most relevant to Pansy currently...heartbreak.
If Pansy had her watch ticking, boiled water on the stove to use in her coffee instead of a two-minute kettle, or borrowed the use of Hermione's CD machine thingy that she keeps in Pansy's house. She could function reasonably fine. Hermione not being there was a kicker, and already is a seventy percent loss of noise. But as long as Pansy could make the remaining thirty percent count, she'd cope.
But even slightly noisy things refuse to cooperate this time. Her watch chose this morning of all the periods of time available, to stop. And it wasn't a simple Reparo job, this watch is protected with too many anti-damage runes for ordinary spell usage. She needed to nullify the runes, fix the watch and then restore the runes power all over again. Three hours of work at least.
Hermione seemingly took the CD's she likes to play, leaving only the ones she hates. Which means, because these two are so cruelly compatible, Pansy also hates them and wouldn't be caught dead with those selected songs blaring out.
And the last bogey-flavoured bean in a box full of hideous flavours...Pansy was out of coffee.
The only alternative for adding noise would have to come from her. As uncomfortable as she was, it still wasn't enough of an incentive. The moment she recognised the silence taking over her home, was the moment her mind emptied of thought and focus. The silence became deafening and her work laid forgotten.
An unhealthy amount of time staring at a wall ensued. If there was thinking happening behind those eyes, this wouldn't be such a concern to an onlooker. There wasn't, only a jumble of bitter words, insults directed at herself and modest attempts to achieve organisation.
Ink was dripping and pooling over what used to be a written word on parchment. Not only was the rhythm of her work ruined, the work itself was. Pansy moved her head to try and refocus, and when she spotted the mess her reaction wasn't of outcry, but of quiet frustration. She spread the fingers of one hand flat down on the parchment, and gripped.
The parchment crumpled into her hand and fell into her balled fist. The sheet was now a disturbingly bad attempt at origami, and she showed it the same lack of respect when she discarded it over her shoulder.
She'd have to start her work again. But it was still absolutely silent. Until finally there was a knock on the door.
She leapt out of her leather back chair and ran for the door. Her eagerness was purely for the promise of conversation. Stranger or foe, she'd appreciate the noise those interactions brought.
With the force of a catapult, Pansy opened the door and allowed the handle to whack into the wall. Scuffed wallpaper, who cares? She surprised the visitor who happened to be her next door neighbor. As well as classmate, housemate, good friend and formerly her betrothed...until her lesbianism kicked family obligation to the curb.
"Heya...Pans. I..." Draco stammered, slightly caught off guard. "I believe you have my bin."
Pansy was slow to understand, yet fast to react in case silence returned. "Why would I steal your bin Draco?"
"Ah well, you see...I wasn't exactly suspecting foul play, I don't believe you intended to steal it. I merely assumed, or am assuming, that you mistook it for your own" Draco loved to be proper until it's blatantly annoying, it is one hundred percent intentional. "I of course, could be wrong. Either way, your bin is outside my house and mine is inside your house."
Pansy knew he was probably right, but defiantly folded her arms and leaned halfway over the door frame to peer out into the street. "That could be anybody's bin. How do I know you didn't switch the labels on them? I give you the one I got, and now you'll have two bins and I've got none. I'm onto you Malfoy."
"Hey, as neighbours who have both been inconvenienced by a lack of due care and attention from waste disposal, we shouldn't fight on each others doorsteps" Draco appeased.
"Excuse me, you mean MY doorstep. I haven't bothered you over yours" Pansy corrected.
"Don't I know it you little deserter" Draco switches out of polite neighbour, and becomes the much more familiar pain-in-the-arse friend she's not been able to get away from. "Look, you have my bin, the tossers mixed them up again. So either go get me my bin, or let me in and put the kettle on."
Pansy quickly decides to step to the side and he takes that as his cue to proceed into the house. "Kettle is out of the question, I'm out of coffee."
"She says this now, whilst closing the door" Draco rolls his eyes in such a drawn-out fashion, that she swears he momentarily broke into the fourth dimension.
"I know, it's a shame. I guess mentioning the ale I have in the fridge is pointless, as it's hardly a substitute" Pansy smirks as she walked around him into the kitchen.
"If we must resort to...damn, I can't even pretend to not love ale" Draco responds, catching up to her so fast his feet were nearly clipping her heels.
Pansy retrieves a bottle for him and one for her, letting him pop the caps off with a flick of his wand. The Slytherin girl falls back into the counter with her bottle, he leant his back against the fridge door until it closed and then stayed there. "I was going to say I haven't seen Granger for a while, but then I haven't seen you much either. What's been going on Pans?"
She presses the rim of her bottle against her upper lip, resting it there but not yet sampling a taste. "Are you really asking me? Or do you want me to tell you things you've worked out yourself?"
"Of course I'm asking" Draco insists and she knows he's genuine on that. "I want you to get the girl you've wanted forever. I just know what I'd do if I was you. But I'm not you, so I'm asking you what's been going on?"
Pansy scrunched her nose in distaste, it certainly wasn't for the ale wafting up it. "Absolutely nothing."
"Pansy-"
"I'm not avoiding the question. That's the answer. Nothing has been going on between me and Hermione, except we're struggling to be friends at this point in time" Pansy's disappointment was swallowed up literally with cool bitter ale.
Draco sipped from his own before supplying a follow-up "what's the problem?"
"A mixture of revised relationship commitments, and me giving her a reason to distrust me" Pansy answered.
"For Merlin's sake Pansy, tell me you didn't use Slytherin tactics on her?" Draco scratched his temple.
Pansy drank a few gulps of her ale as her answer. "Never have I ever, met the ex-girlfriend to the love of my life and organised an agreement in which they cross paths, with painful results for her."
"And what was that supposed to achieve?" Draco pressed.
"Well either she succeeds where I failed, and takes Hermione away from the Weaslette, or Hermione proves she's moved on and Fleur will never be an issue again."
"None of that happened I'm guessing, and she's now found out" Draco swirls the contents of his bottle like he's punch drunk.
"No, but she knows I'm lying about something. I met with Fleur to cut the new ties, but Hermione caught me as I was leaving. She wasn't convinced by my reasons for being there."
"I've said this to you before Pansy as friendly advice, now it's a reprimand. The only person you should never manipulate, control or deceive, is the person you love. Slytherin tactics have no place in a relationship. Even in friendship they're okay, sometimes impressive. But you hang up that hat when you step through the front door, where your love receives you."
"I'm not receiving-"
"It doesn't matter, it still applies. Sure, she's living with someone else, apparently in love. You think going to war for the girl, means the rules get broken. That's not true. The rules apply to her for as long as your heart belongs to her. Your agreement should never have happened, because it's her history, and her life."
Pansy physically spat into the sink in disgust. "I wanted to tear that thing to pieces the moment I saw a signature on it. I've kept it to myself and watched her squirm for two weeks. I've tortured her. I know that I royally messed up, I'm just trying to give myself a cushion worthy enough of the great fall I'll have when she finds out."
"There is no such cushion Pans. This is Granger" The frustration seeps into every word now. "Why didn't you come to me when you thought of a plan? I'm one door along"
Pansy can't supply any more answers. She feels lower than low. Everything she's done, or not done, has been low. It was too much about hating Ginny, and to Pansy that's the unforgivable thing. She'll always love Hermione miles more than she hates Ginny, so why was it so hard to put the brunette first?
"So that's why Granger hasn't been round for a few days. How's it affecting work?" Draco changes topic, no lighter but a newer one.
"She's working from home, taking trips during the day and owling me what I need to know. We are less efficient like this, but her relationship is less efficient currently so it makes sense for her to prioritise."
"They're going through problems then?" Draco enquired.
"Yeah, though Hermione says it is purely down to her. I factor in because Hermione and I are close, which I assume is adding to Ginny's ire. For the time being, I'm to go without the closeness."
"It does make sense. But why does that mean you just let them get on with it?"
"You're the one telling me to not use Slytherin tactics" Pansy shot back
"Since when has being a disturbance been solely a Slytherin thing, Gryffindor's normally like to stick their noses where they don't belong. But fine, as long as the plan is not to just sit in here all day and wait for them to find a resolution."
"What other choice do I have?"
"Tell Granger the truth" Draco shoots out, making Pansy spill ale over her lip.
"That's just hope and dream suicide."
"Not the agreement pahlava, you better hold that in to the day you die" Draco clarified. "I'm talking about the BIG bloody secret weapon you've got collecting dust at the back of your mind."
"No Draco" Pansy quietly refused.
"Drop the bomb Pansy, you have every right to tell that girl the truth. The Weaslette acting like she's been wronged, she's the biggest hypocrite ever."
"It's too destructive. What proof do I even have? And if she did believe me, would she thank me for it? I don't think she would. I'd lose her, and she'd trust nobody ever again."
"Proof? The proof is those fingers. The proof is the fact you even know about the notes. You said yourself she doesn't ever talk about them, so how would you know they exist. You think she won't thank you because you'd have ruined everything, but I disagree. Whilst her relationship is uncovered and destroyed, she's also uncovering the true kind individual who was robbed of the opportunity to love her."
Pansy knew he had good points, the theory is sound and romantic. Hermione would take one look at her old handwriting, the one without personal modifications, and Hermione would recognise it. If Pansy had showed up that day before Ginny could thwart her, Hermione would be hers now. Yeah, she learnt to love Ginny, but she was already halfway there with the personal notes. Notes that Ginny did not write.
Now would also be the best time for Pansy to deploy this weapon. Ginny held the moral high ground, and Hermione was the wrongdoer. High and mighty Ginny Weasley. If Hermione wasn't perfect, the Weaslette could never claim to be either. Hermione doesn't know how imperfect Ginny really was. At the same time, it could only level the score. The liar and the neglecter, both wronged and willing to compromise.
Ginny's wrongdoing was bad, but too much time had passed. She wasn't the note-writer, but she was the Ginny that got Hermione through the hard times, gave her someone to love and trust. Did their origin really matter when they'd been through so much together? Pansy's ire would live forever but that is truly the only thing she could use against Ginny. The Weaslette was apparently a great girlfriend who could do nothing wrong.
Pansy had a secret weapon, that is true. But secret doesn't mean powerful, and the risks in using it were also too high. To use this against Ginny, Pansy had to be sure a positive outcome was a likely one. There no sign of a positive.
Wooing Hermione was hard, and as of yet unrewarding, but there's still enough fight left in Pansy. Desperation was a fair distance away. "That's not how I want to do it. As long as I've got confidence, I'll keep trying to win her heart. But I will tell you one thing, subtlety will not hold me back anymore."
Draco smiles approvingly "so you're going to be bolder? That's more like it."
"I mean it" Pansy's voice was strong and her eyes steely "It's time Ginny finally gets the tough opposition she's lacked from me. It's time Fleur becomes a distant memory. It's time Hermione knows how much she means to me."
"I never doubted you in the first place" Draco swigs the rest of his ale and disposes of the glass with a banishing charm. "Personally I'd cut out this working-from-home bull she's pulling and get round their place. Get in the way, let her know she can't shake you."
"She's still got that stupid job offer, being a pain in the arse won't do much good" Pansy commented.
"Come on Pans, you're failing already. You can't say you'll be bold then wilt up again" Draco snatches her ale away from her and endures her incensed look. "Go in there and stick yourself to her side, don't let Ginny dictate anymore."
Pansy snatches her ale back before he gets to drink it. "There's bold, and then there's ridiculous."
Draco wipes excess ale from his lips. "Okay, brave but not dramatic, fine. But you know I'm right. You have to be around her, using any excuse you can get away with. Hermione relates more to you, expose Ginny's weakness. Let's face it, that's the only weakness she has."
Pansy nodded, downing the bottle in case he decided to swipe it away again. And also because she wanted more than anything to head over to Hermione's place. "Grab your bin and go you fool, I have places to be."
The neighbours both dispersed in a flurry, one heading for the stairs and the other wheeling a bin out the door. Pansy didn't even grant him a goodbye, and he didn't expect one. She raided her wardrobe, throwing article after article of clothing haphazardly. Some landed on her bed, others on the floor, and one even nestled on the windowsill.
Pansy was dressing to impress. Casual style, but displaying sexy traits that she knows Hermione will notice. Slim jeans never fail, but she picks the one with the white stitchings, depicting rounded hearts on top of rounded cheeks. Killer.
It is December, so more layers will need to be applied. Of course the outer layer could be removed once indoors and nobody ought to blink an eye. She hopes though that one does. If they did, they'll be able to tell Pansy is walking around braless. Braless isn't a problem if you can justify it.
She elects for a thin v-neck sweatshirt, in periwinkle blue. With it being Hermione's favourite colour, drawing Hermione's eyes becomes a psychological addition as well as natural instinct. Naturally, her eyes ought to be drawn to the swells of flesh peeking out. The cold sensations may explain the erected nips that only slightly poke through the material, enough to notice.
It was toeing the line of inappropriate, and that's exactly where Pansy wanted to be. She threw a thicker black hoodie over the top and her attention shifted towards cosmetic appearance. She was going nowhere near the lipstick tubes, but mild lip gloss could pass as balm. Balm against dry lips, that happen to shine quite attractively.
Moderate amounts of mascara and eyeliner, her eyes never needed much since they had a good natural reputation. Everyone comments on her eyes, they're apparently so strikingly attractive. Pansy only ever used blusher, because foundation was not a friend to her natural alabaster skin. But given how cold the weather promised to be, Pansy's cheeks wouldn't need artificial rosiness either.
Finally, the straight black hair is straightened to the maximum length, headband keeping it in place. Light trainers complete the get-up. Now Pansy sees the best Pansy she could possibly be in normal clothing, if this doesn't grab some wanted attention, Pansy would stuff appropriate and get naked if she had to.
With her mind refocusing on the task at hand, Pansy's adrenaline rush took an unexpected bump.
Suddenly her smile disappears and she collapses onto her bed defeatedly. 'What is the point, this isn't going to work?'
Hermione had looked many times before, with lesser revealing clothes adorned on the Slytherin's body. But she wasn't going to win Hermione through attractiveness alone. Her greatest weapon was chemistry and work ethics. That had already been working to some effect, otherwise Hermione wouldn't be going through relationship problems in the first place. But all that's done is separated Hermione and Pansy.
And that's the kicker. She was going through relationship problems, but she was trying to fix them. This is the worst time to be attempting to seduce her. She'll block out Pansy as much as possible, repel any advances the Slytherin made. She'll kick her out and possibly make her own platonic relationship with Pansy worse.
If Hermione was trying to fix things, that's proof Ginny is winning. Always winning even when it doesn't look like it. Fleur had been a useless weapon, as well as a mistake. The reality is, Pansy should've been bolder sooner. She missed the last train, you could say.
Again, she loved Hermione more than she hated Ginny. What's the point in hating Ginny if Hermione is well and truly hooked? The notes do not matter anymore, Ginny is who Hermione wants.
Their working relationship could be strong again, if Pansy just let go. Letting her go might be the best way to keep her. And Pansy could live with not having Hermione to herself. You can lose and win in love, that's a life lesson you just have to accept. It's not giving up, it's accepting the facts.
In the space of a few minutes, Pansy had gone from the dogs bollocks to the whimpering mouse. Anybody who knows her would find that unusual. Pansy is headstrong, stubborn and confident on her worst day. It's incredibly alarming for her to flip-flop like this.
Pansy wasn't a mental expert, but she knows herself. Parkinson does have a breaking point, nobody is made of metal. There's flesh, and there's bones, and there are feelings. Pansy had reached a crossing. It was decision time, and it's not a decision directly regarding Hermione. It's regarding herself.
Does she concede the victory to Ginny, and put her efforts into her work regardless of what happens with Hermione? They are good partners, and will achieve fantastic things together. And they'll achieve great things independent of each other too, if the partnership doesn't work out. It would be tough on Pansy emotionally, but she could do it.
Or was it better for everyone if Pansy just removed herself from the picture? Hermione can achieve great things with Sonorese, Pansy could achieve the same elsewhere. Ginny and Hermione could live comfortably and happily. Pansy could move on quicker and easier with a fresh start, and new people.
Pansy didn't know what the right option was in that regard, but what she did know was the battle was over for her. Fleur will live in regret, but Pansy will not. If Pansy doesn't take the opportunity to leave now, that's when regret comes into play.
Somewhere in her memory bank, she hears her mother's voice. "You can't miss what you never had Darling, it's okay to give things up. If I hadn't given up on receiving your father's love, I wouldn't be the happy mother with a beautiful daughter"
Pansy swallowed the lump in her throat. Those are the last words she heard before her parents divorce came through. Her mother stood by the front door, coat underarm and holding her trunk with both hands. Even though Pansy begged on her knees in tears, her mother displayed nothing but a warm, contented smile.
After that, Pansy gave up too. Her arranged marriage, she unarranged. Her father's respect, she stomped in the mud where it belonged. His expectations became ungranted wishes. His money was an insult, she gave it all up. His home she quickly abandoned, regardless of official custodial proceedings.
She's her mother's daughter, forever and always. If only she knew where her mother went after she left.
"I love you mum"
Somebody knocked on her door again. Wiping the trickling streams away from her eyes, Pansy goes to answer it.
"You're not seriously checking to see if I'm still here are you, someone needs to get their own life" Pansy calls out through the closed door prior to opening it.
She'll think to say something after the door is open next time. "Pardon, you expecting someone, caught you at a bad time?"
Pansy snorted, she was so done with this she didn't even have the energy to be surprised or annoyed. "You might not be who I expected, but what I said still applies."
"Says the one who stalked me first. You're not even going to ask me how I know where you live?" Fleur quizzed.
"Because I don't care" Pansy replied easily. "You know what come in, why not? We could hold a commiseration party together."
Fleur steps inside, though frowning deeply. "Commiseration? What have we got to commiserate?"
"We're losers, trying to woo the immovable girl, at least we should recognise that" Pansy answers moving into the kitchen with Fleur right behind.
"I have the least chance out of anyone, but that doesn't mean I've given up" Fleur returned. "So is the heat in the kitchen too much for you?"
Pansy laughed heartily "You still think this is a competition. News flash, the illusion is we've been tricked into thinking there's a fair chance, that we can actually compete. But Hermione isn't leaving Ginny for anybody, not for me and especially not for you."
"The Pansy who came to me a fortnight ago tried to double team Ginny, out of sheer hatred. Now you're rolling over" Fleur was utterly flummoxed by this change of heart.
"The biggest mistake I could've made. I'm dead if Hermione ever finds out. And why was it made? Because I hated Ginny. Hating Ginny is screwing me over, so I'm done with that."
"This wouldn't be a heat of the moment thing would it, because Hermione's been absent for a few days?" Fleur enquired.
"Firstly, no, I've never thought more clearly about anything in my life. It took a rollercoaster of emotions in a short period of time, to get to that epiphany. And secondly, you just admitted you've been stalking me for days, are you sure it's Hermione you want?"
Fleur rolled her azure eyes with all the attitude of a seventeen year old Delacour. "No, this whole thing has been a ploy. I left my ancestral home for good, work inhuman hours minimum wage, and pretty much haunt Hermione by just existing in the same space...just so I can frolic with you."
"To be honest, you have a better chance of sleeping with me than getting Hermione back, so if you're not ruling out the latter we're in for an interesting time" Pansy replied.
Fleur looked sickened by the idea, but Pansy wasn't fully joking. Fleur was hot. Fleur was damn hot. And Pansy did dress to impress. She hadn't shared that kind of female company since just after leaving school, still in the doldrums, recovering from heartbreak would you believe.
Fleur wasn't her type in a sense of a relationship, and the French woman's track record was an alarm bell for anybody. But casual sex wasn't harmful, possibly therapeutic. For both of them.
"Why did you want to see me anyway?" Pansy reached into the fridge, strategically collecting the Sauvignon Blanc instead of the ale.
Fleur eyed the bottle the Slytherin withdrew from the fridge, but pointedly answered the question posed. "It's the hatred I wanted to speak to you about, you loathe Ginny not as a rival, but as a human altogether. I want to know why."
"And what's your issue with posting your questions through the mail? Why do you have to watch my home for a few days?" Pansy had now collected two rather expensive crystal glasses down from the cupboard.
"I factored in the likelihood of you tearing up any letters I wrote to you. And I haven't been watching the house for days, I asked your neighbour about you when I saw him outside just now."
Pansy raised an eyebrow at this. She would've thought that the last thing Draco would do is discuss Pansy's personal matters, to anybody, and certainly not a stranger. Then again he may have recognised Fleur, he did go to the same school at the same time after all. He'd know she's not a friend, and maybe that's why he said something. He loved watching girls go at it, via wand or hands on. He'd also know Pansy would defeat Fleur easily
If anything, Pansy just ruined his fun by letting her in. "Did he seem condescending at all?"
"Really? I thought I was condescending until I talked to le furet blanc" Fleur responded indignantly. "I swear Malfoy was meant to marry someone, another entitlement complex to mirror his own."
Pansy was offended. Sure, she's as glad as anybody that it didn't happen, but that is her best friend she's talking about. And herself of course. Pansy worked for everything and would challenge anybody who says otherwise. On this occasion though she remains calm. "He was meant to yes. Then a choice became a thing you could possess, and the marriage was no more. Wine?"
Pansy poured the glass anyway, and Fleur accepted the glass. "Stop ducking the subject. Why do you hate Ginny Weasley?"
"Start listening, I said less than a minute ago that I no longer hate her" Pansy brings the rim of her glass to her lips.
"This is ridiculous" Fleur shook her head, sipping wine to compose herself. "She did something didn't she? Something you can never forgive...and do not say you have forgiven her now."
Pansy loved frustrating people who just won't stop pushing, it's entertainment. She could have fun with Fleur for hours, round and round in circles, until Pansy knew every possible french curse word like she's a native speaker herself. But she had questions too. "I'll answer your question after you answer mine."
"Why can't you answer mine first and then I answer yours?" Fleur fires back.
"Because I'm not the one stalking people for answers."
"No, just someone who stalks people and attempts to intimidate them."
"I knew where you lived, you had to find out."
"You guessed, I worked out where you lived."
"An educated guess, and you worked out via research"
"Enough!" Fleur felt her temper rising, yet more wine was consumed. "What's the damn question?"
Pansy changed positions from standing opposite Fleur, to leaning on the counter alongside her. "Why is my answer worth so much to you?"
Fleur turned to face Pansy, realising how close the Slytherin was. She didn't want to play into any of Pansy's mind games so focused on answering instead of distancing herself. "Something that you hate so much, must also relate to something you care incredibly deeply for. In short, Hermione. And if Ginny has done terrible things involving Hermione, as a person who also cares deeply, I want to know about them."
Pansy nods understandingly. "And if you don't like what you hear, what then? Hermione's business isn't a slave to your approval."
"For your information, in sharing with me your secret I was prepared to work together with you, no contracts just an alliance of sorts. We'd still be rivals for Hermione's heart, but we could've united to end Ginny's involvement with her. Though its clear to me now, you'd just be dead weight for me to drag along" Fleur hoped that struck a nerve.
Pansy calmly places her wine glass on the counter, and nibbles on her lip thoughtfully. "You know, offending the person with answers to your most desired questions, isn't the smartest tactic. I'm now wondering why I should tell you anything."
Fleur finished her glass and placed it down beside Pansy's. "Can you honestly tell me that you've given up? And there's nothing anybody can say to change your mind? Despite whatever happens tomorrow, or next week, or later on than that?"
Pansy opened her mouth to affirm everything she said, but the words faltered in her throat. There was truly only one person who could change her mind. And she knew Fleur thought herself clever, having asked something she knew Pansy couldn't deny.
"Hope is a very strong incentive you know. I've lived with nothing but hope since the day I broke things off with Hermione. I've had countless of occasions where I seriously contemplated letting go. Deciding whether to give in was a daily topic for debate. Even when I convinced myself, I was never truly convinced. The smallest slither of hope put me back on track. Making tea, reading, cooking old familiar meals...all the reminders of Hermione restored my faith in myself. And now, despite my chances being as grim as Azkaban, I will never give up hope."
Pansy listened when a good argument was made, and Fleur just made the argument that puts Pansy back on that rollercoaster. Hope was a very strong force. It's good to give in sometimes, but that's in the context of lacking hope. Pansy's mother had lost all hope of her father loving her as a person, as a wife. That's why she benefited emotionally from giving in. If Pansy gave in when there was still hope in her heart, that would be something she'd regret.
Pansy filled their glasses almost to the brim and chinked her glass with Fleur's. "I owe you an answer to your question. Why do I hate Ginny Weasley? The true reason, that terrible thing. The very reason Ginny even has Hermione's love, is a complete lie."
Fleur retreated to a nearby stool and Pansy moves into an adjacent one. Pansy explained everything in detail, from Hermione recovering from the breakup to the haunting event that torments Pansy years later. Glass after glass was emptied and refilled. The alcohol may have inflicted Fleur a bit, but fondness and sympathy for Pansy grew. The notes were an incredibly thoughtful idea, the exact type of caring Hermione deserves and some. She felt Pansy's anger and frustration at being denied so cruelly. There's opportunistic and there's what Ginny did. A highjacking, that's what it was. An incredibly valuable prize had been unlawfully commandeered.
Pansy was drunk by the end of her story, Fleur was slightly inebriated herself. But her muddled brain felt things didn't quite add up in the story itself. "Hang--hang on une moment" Fleur hiccuped over her words "are you sure...very, very sure that it was Ginny."
The other more drunken girl had her head bent backwards, making a perfect right angle with her head and neck. Pansy's head rolled to the side in order to match Fleur's eyes. "Of cors I am. Unles they can makes Polyjush poshun las' years now, Ginny was the one kissing 'ermione the nexst day."
Fleur nodded her head vigorously, then contradicted it by shaking her head violently. "Nonnonnon. I mean you are sure she locked you in? You saw her do it?"
"Yesh...well, no. I was up a ladder an' 'eard the door close. It had to be her, she was han'ing aroun' jus' befor'"
"Alone, nobody else was around?" Fleur continued quizzing.
"A cubble of uther people maybe, I dunno, I can remember. I jus' no Ginny was ther'".
Fleur holds up her hands theatrically. "I'm not saying it wasn't Ginny, it most probably was. Considering what you told me, it's awfully convenient that she's there moments before you're locked in, unable to meet Hermione. But you didn't see it, and we can't prove she did it."
"I don care abou' being locked in, I never cared. It's the lying to Hermione bit...jus' tha'. Stealen my funder, my goo' work. An' they've been in love ever zince. Point is...IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME!" Pansy breaks her own glass against the wall.
Fleur doesn't think twice about reaching out and holding Pansy, embracing her. "Oui, yes, it should've. It should just be me and you right now battling for Hermione. A worthy opponent you make. But please let me say one thing, okay?"
Pansy grumbled something into the blonde's hair. Fleur assumes it's confirmation. "If Ginny pretended to be the writer of the notes, surely Hermione would've eventually found out, non?"
"'Ow?" Pansy asked more clearly into her hair.
"Ginny must have written by hand at some point in the last few years, Hermione must've seen her handwriting. And something so romantic and memorable like love notes would surely be referenced to everyone oui? I think they call it boasting. But you've not heard about the notes from Hermione or Ginny. Not even once. Can you see what I'm getting at?"
"I'm not making it up!" Pansy squawked.
"I believe your every word Pansy, every word" Fleur insisted, holding the Slytherin's cheeks with her hands. "I'm just trying to tell you that things might not be how they appear, I think you should find out once and for all. You hand wrote these notes correct?"
Pansy nodded between Fleur's hands. "Bon, you should write how you used to, in or on something you know Hermione will read. See how she reacts. Additionally, you could say something to her only the note writer would know. If Hermione suspects you are that note writer, Ginny will likewise be exposed. Seriously? You were going to give up? Merde, what a mistake that could've been."
Pansy giggled "you's the second person tuday I've discust this secret weppun wiff."
"I'll help you use it. I know Hermione, she don't take kindly to frauds. Remember Lockhart, she made the great liar look like a chump when she finished belittling him."
Pansy vaguely recalled the story of Hermione chewing the fake hero up so bad he resigned as a Professor immediately afterwards. Good story it was, she was much more concerned with Fleur currently. "Why would you 'elp me? You love Hermione too, you want 'er?"
Fleur shrugs harder than necessary. "I do, I want her too. Maybe I've just discovered the person I'd most want looking after Hermione, if I cannot."
Pansy eyes were swimming in tears. "You would give up 'ermione zo that I could have 'er?"
"If I couldn't have her...yes" Fleur admitted.
Pansy was seeing a completely different person to the Fleur that knocked on her door. The blonde just admitted Pansy earned her respect, and now the feeling was mutual. Pansy could see why Hermione once loved, or even still loves her. "Okay...then same wiff me. If I screw up ma chance, I will help you too."
Fleur returned to her wine glass and swallowed the last mouthful. "I'll drink to that. Want some more? You better get another glass."
"Re--repar-row" Pansy waved a loose wand at the glass shards on the floor, and unsurprisingly they don't react at all. "That's why I said to get another glass" Fleur chuckled.
Pansy did as she was told, and more drinking commenced.
4th December 2003, Night, Hermione's POV
Well, Hermione had tried to Floo call twice, and she didn't have the positivity to speak into a Patronus. She was out, on the street, in the freezing cold. She was red in the face with both tears and anger. Showing her face at the Leaky Cauldron or another public establishment, looking for a bed to sleep in, was a humiliating thought to even think about. No, as long as she had options she would take them.
So, if Pansy couldn't be bothered to answer she was going to invite herself in. Tough if she was asleep, she had that luxury and Hermione didn't. She knows where Pansy kept the spare key, so she might not even need to awaken her. Hermione would kip on the sofa, explain in the morning if she could be bothered.
She just did not care tonight.
Hermione stomped up the front steps and started picking at a loose segment of brick in the wall. Her fingers were still shaking from emotion, and her patience was short. Therefore with a growl she drew her wand and removed the segment magically. She clutched at the key and inserted it into the door.
The brunette briefly thought to just let the door shut behind her, but she knew full well the door sounded like a shotgun going off when it slammed closed. She might be angry and lacking her natural consideration, but she still had the decency to not scare Pansy to death.
Like she expected all the lights were out, Pansy must indeed be tucked up safely in bed. Hermione just sauntered into the living room, threw everything she was carrying to the side and fell onto the sofa. She stared up at the ceiling for several moments, going back over the details of her recent row with Ginny, and yeah she was feeling sorry for herself.
Hermione took responsibility for the problem, but Ginny could've tried to be reasonable, especially when Hermione was really trying to do right.
Ginny didn't invite her to the Burrow this week. She'd have loved to go because she adores Molly and Arthur and all the family. But Hermione understood, this was Ginny's opportunity to rant about her for hours and hours, then be supported and advised on how to fix their issues. It's a good thing.
When she returned though, Hermione assumed it was time to talk. For the eighteenth time this week, they'd try to talk things out. But apparently Ginny doesn't see it that way, she still isn't ready. And all Hermione said...the only thing that she said...was if Ginny wasn't ready to talk, why did she go the Burrow?
Because that's the status quo in their relationship, when they need to gripe or unwind they go to the Burrow, usually together. And when they come back they're ready to deal with it or move on. That's all Hermione meant when she spoke to Ginny earlier in the evening, that it's unusual for Ginny to come back and not want to move on and deal with things.
But that's a bad thing to say apparently. And Ginny hit the roof. She went on and on about Hermione pestering her, not giving her enough space, pretending to care just to appease Ginny so they could get back to normal. The bad normal, consisting of Hermione kissing Pansy's arse and thinking her girlfriend is simple. Ginny's words.
And that got up Hermione's nose. She cared a great deal and always did. Was it her fault she kept amazing, important people close to her? That she had ambition and a passion for knowledge, that she could share with an intellectual equal? Ginny is not simple, Hermione has never so much as insinuated that, and if she made her feel that way Hermione was sure she had apologised many times for it. But at the same time, Ginny wasn't an intellectual, she got by and was a great witch.
You don't have to be a brain to be a great witch. Hermione was a brain, and when she finds another brain of course she'll connect with it. But it's still Ginny she comes home to, sleeps with, eats dinner with. Hermione wasn't ever getting bored of Ginny, she has just got too comfortable. To say she didn't care was hurtful and undeserving.
Eventually it got so bad that Ginny said one of them had to leave, and since it was Ginny's money that paid for the house, Hermione had to be the one. And here she was now. The place she practically lives anyway these days, Ginny's words again. The home of the person responsible for Hermione's disconnect with Ginny. Hermione tried not to blame the Slytherin because it really wasn't her fault. The changing of work arrangements was a courtesy mostly, so that Hermione wasn't bringing personal issues into a professional setting.
Only, that was the excuse she made up. Pansy's home was a professional setting in technical terms only, the place where the bulk of their work is done. Yet they goof around sometimes, sing-along to music badly, lounge about like lions; everything a professional setting does not accomodate. And Hermione has always blended work with personal life, Fleur coming back into her life was a personal issue wasn't it?
The real reason was obvious, she is too close to Pansy. For a long time now Hermione has been attracted to the Slytherin, even before she found out that she's kind, caring, funny, smart, good at her job and inspiring. Hermione acknowledged that if she was single, Pansy would be much more than a friend way before now.
Even though nothing had happened, there were many times where they could've. She remembered the night Pansy shared dinner with them, a volatile night made worse by her outfit. And Hermione noticed and instead of agreeing with Ginny that Pansy went overboard, she tried to cover for her. In effect, what Hermione did was encourage the boldness, plain and simple.
Now wonder Ginny feels threatened, Hermione just indulges the interest instead of repelling it. And in a week dedicated to reinstating her love for Ginny, she couldn't be leading on Pansy anymore. So a physical gap needed to be put in action. Hermione was committed to Ginny, and she had been trying to prove that.
Until tonight. Maybe it was a better idea to stay at an inn somewhere, or a bed and breakfast. Hotel room. Hermione wasn't homeless without a penny to her name, she could buy a room anywhere. What's feeling humiliated compared to sticking to her promises.
She's here now though. Back where the problems began, with nobody to blame but herself. It's only for the night, Hermione planned on making for her parents house straight after breakfast. Pansy might not even know Hermione was here.
Sleeping wasn't quite so easy. She hated sleeping in day clothes, but she damn sure wasn't taking them off. Putting pyjamas on was too homely. Basically the clothing she wore stayed on for sleeping.
And when Hermione packed she was emotionally compromised. She didn't think about where she would go or anything. And with Pansy not being awake nothing was offered to the brunette. You don't just take other people's duvets and pillows for yourself. Therein she had to drape her thick coat over her body and make the best out of the flattened cushions laid on the sofa.
Hermione even knocked a religious lifetime routine on the head in favour of not having to walk upstairs. You don't brush your teeth in the kitchen sink, and there were no other toiletry facilities at ground level. Hermione made a compromise by chewing on some mints.
Finally, she got settled and surprisingly comfortable considering the conditions. She was just drifting off, when she heard a noise. Her one eye blinked open and from her position she had a front on view of the stairs. Bottom landing all the way to the top, and a light was shining in the hallway. Not electrical, but bright wandlight.
It subsided a little followed by a door closing, returning to darkness. 'Okay, Pansy just needed the loo. Thrilling stuff, now can we actually get some sleep now'
Then Hermione heard the muffled voice, and consciously focused on it. Not because she wanted to make out what Pansy was saying to herself, but trying to listen to soft voices whilst sleepy, is a shortcut to falling asleep. That's how lullabys work.
Ironically enough, Pansy did in fact happen to be humming. So Hermione tried to piece the tune together with what she could hear. It didn't take long before Hermione solved the mystery song, but instead of making her sleepy it woke her up more.
'That's Memories' Hermione realised. 'Where did Pansy hear that song from? She hasn't seen Cats. And I haven't sung it in years.'
It's entirely plausible of course that Pansy could've picked up the tune from somewhere, without even knowing what the song is or where it's from. Hermione comes to that conclusion quickly, and for the third time tries to fall asleep.
Hermione doesn't react to the door opening again, Pansy walking over the floorboards, and doesn't notice the wandlight. She drifts closer and closer to unconsciousness. But through the dark silence, she could make out a gasp. A muffled gasp that may as well have been delivered through a megaphone, since it was so recognisable.
And if there was any misunderstanding possible, any slight possibility that Hermione's scrambled brain might've experienced an audible hallucination, the fact the word was spoken in French put it beyond doubt. "Mon dieu..."
Hermione's eyes flew open and she was upright in the space of a heartbeat. "What the actual hell!"
The wandlight went out instantly, then two sets of running footsteps, one of them belonging to Hermione going up the stairs, and the other apparently belonging to Fleur and making a break for the bedroom. Pansy's bedroom.
The brunette heard the blonde hastily yelling at Pansy. "Get the hell up, she's coming!"
"Wha-Do you mean? The hell is wrong with you?" The groggy, still inebriated Pansy soon discovered the answer bursting through the door like lightning, then freezing on the spot like she'd been petrified. Petrified Angry.
"Oh my fu-" Pansy threw the covers over herself, hugging it for protection. "What the hell are you doing here?"
An: Ending it there, that was crazy. Longest chapter of the story so far I think, so much happened in a short time period.An immediate continuation of this scene is coming next, and oh boy was I excited for this part of the story. There should be a category for Soap Opera fics, cause we're deep in that territory now.
Yeah, this was planned, Pansy had to do the dirty with Fleur. I initially had this conceived as a casual arrangement, and it is still intended as casual, but should I decide to go with Ginny as the victor this now becomes the consolation result that I wanted so that all three come out of it with something positive.
If I don't go with Ginny, I have to come up with something different down the line.I hoped you liked the chapter. See you soon.