Chapter Three - Changes of Heart

A/N: Hi everyone! Gosh it's been something like 4 years since i last updated this story. It's been a crazy few years and I apologise for never following through with this story. This story means a lot to me as it's actually based on my own love life and my own personal issues too, and at the time I started it i didn't have the guts to finish it without it impacting my own emotional wellbeing.

I'm hoping that i'll be able to upload more regularly and eventually finish this story, but i'm also a uni student now so please bare with me! for now enjoy this chapter and let me know what you guys think in the reviews and whether or not you want me to continue :)

Enjoy!

RECAP

"I guess you still hang out around here then." Mikan coolly stated.

Natsume flinched but jumped down to reveal himself, the two stared at eachother. Natsume took a step toward her but she remained sat down, the indifference evident on her stoic expression. Natsume tightened his fists and questioned her, "Are you going to leave me again?"
Mikan's brow furrowed and she stood up abruptly, "How could I leave you when I didn't come back for you, Hyuuga?" She brushed his shoulder as she walked away from him, without turning back. Her heart thundered in her chest and she cursed as she felt tears forming in her eyes.

Hyuuga. He had never despised his family name more than in that moment, for it was in that moment it dawned on him, he was no longer her Natsume, and she didn't return for him.

"I didn't come back for him." Mikan repeated to herself as she walked away from Natsume, willing her tears not to fall, " I didn't come back for him, so why do I feel like this?"

Natsume stood and watched Mikan as she turned her back on him, fists tightened at his side. Hyuuga. His name rang in his mind again and again, carving out a distance between him and the girl he used to share secret smiles with.

"So as you all know, your midterms are approaching! So from now until then all your classes will be independent study periods to give you guys a chance to study for your upcoming exams, make sure you use your time wisely or you'll be joining Jinno for catchup classes during your break!" sang Narumi as his class groaned in unison. He giggled to himself before continuing, "and with that, I will leave you to begin!" Narumi left the room and the class soon erupted into a myriad of complaints.

" I hate exams so much!"

"My brain can't handle all this work"

"You guys should worry more for Koko, he doesn't even have a brain!"

Soon everyone was laughing but the tense air of exam stress remained heavy in the room.

Mikan sat in the back of the classroom, head on her desk, trying desperately to ignore the raven-haired boy sat next to her. Luckily, she had managed to avoid contact with him and hadn't spoken a word to him since their meeting that morning. But she knew that working together in class was unavoidable and sooner or later they'd have to talk. Her stomach twisted at the thought. She wasn't looking forward to exams but was thankful at least that they had their own time to study independently rather than working in groups. Mikan groaned at the thought and buried her head further into her arms, blocking out the thoughts.

"Look! Poor Mikan's brain has already given out!" yelled Sumire, " Imai, you have to help her!"

Hotaru raised an eyebrow at Sumire and responded curtly, " Why should i? I have my own exams to focus on."

"Poor Mikan.." Anna began, glancing pitifully between Mikan and her twin.

Mikan slowly lifted her head up and smiled at her childhood friends, "Guys it's fine I-" Mikan started.

"I have an idea! We can start a study group, that way we can all help each-other and we'll get a chance to catch up too!" Nonoko chimed. Slowly, everyone including Hotaru agreed and soon they all turned to Mikan, waiting for her response. " I mean I guess that doesn't sound too bad but I real-"

" I'm coming too." Natsume interrupted, to the shock of everyone around him. Mikan rolled her eyes in response but soon the class was distracted by thoughts of snack planning and study locations.

Mikan really didn't need the help, she thought to herself, but she supposed it would be nice to spend time with everyone again, especially Hotaru. She had missed them all so much since being away, and the fact that everyone was more or less the same made her feel at home again, even if she had been away for 7 years.

Mikan got up and made her way over to Hotaru's desk, perching on top of the empty desk next to her, one leg crossed over her knee. She leant her head back and to the side, staring down at her friend. "So, after all this time you still don't want to help me huh?" she taunted. Hotaru looked up at her friend and smirked, "it's not like you need the help anymore…but even if you did, I still wouldn't have helped." She replied. Mikan laughed gently, "so you're coming to the study group too right? I'm surprised you agreed in the first place." She asked her best friend.

"I thought about it, and I probably agreed for the same reason you did, it will be nice for all of us to spend time together again, and it'll be a good chance to get Permy to buy me some crab-sticks…" Hotaru answered, holding back her body's instinct to drool at the thought of marinated crab. "Will Andou be coming?"

"Yeah! Is Tsubasa coming? You have to bring him along Mikan we all want to get to know him!" Permy shouted from across the room, her hearing as sharp as ever.

"Sorry guys," Mikan smiled apologetically at her friends, "He probably won't make it, he has rehearsals of his own and won't be having mid terms like us so… But I'm sure there will be more opportunities for us to hang out!"

"Ooh how about if we have a Halloween party! Halloween Is right after midterms and it'll be a good chance for all of us to actually party together and have fun without cramming our brains with school-work!" Koko suggested to the room.

Everyone quickly squealed with joy at the thought and suddenly everyone was motivated to study hard for the party, otherwise they'd end up in Jinno's catch-up classes on Halloween night. The thought alone was enough to make them all shudder.

Mikan grabbed her phone and sent a text to Tsubasa.

Hey, how're rehearsals going? Met any cute girls yet? Or composers for me..hehe?

Just a heads up, I've been signed up for group study sessions with everyone, I already told them you wouldn't be there…but we're having a Halloween party so you better start thinking of costume ideas! See you soon 3 – Mikan

Rehearsals are good, as expected, it is me after all, your genius *boyfriend* As for cute girls…that's a maybe, lips are sealed for now though! Also, NO to dating my colleagues!
I'll be there for the party for sure though, dinner tonight? – Tsubasa

Mikan sighed to herself before raising her fist to knock on the door she stood in front of. The door opened and crimson eyes met hers before travelling down her body and back up again, before raising his eyebrows at the brunette. Eyes rolling, she responded "I didn't have time to change before coming over." Mikan swore to herself, maybe she shouldn't have come. Mikan had come straight from dance practice, wearing sweatpants and a tight cropped t-shirt tied at her waist, leaving her abdomen exposed.
" Did I say anything?" Natsume replied, "everyone's inside, come in." Natsume reached for her backpack but she shoved past him and into his 5-star room.

"Oh, good you're here Mikan! Koko convinced Natsume to let us use his room last minute so sorry for the mix-up!" Anna chimed.

"Well, he has the biggest room of all of us, we should at least make use of it, it's way too big for just one person!" Koko grinned.

As much as she hated to admit it, he was right, Mikan thought to herself. She looked around the room, it was more like a studio apartment…a big studio apartment. She suddenly felt uncomfortable as she realised nothing much had changed since she was last in this room, it was still neat and tidy, it almost looked unused, as if he was never here.

Mikan glanced over at Natsume, "I'm using your bathroom," she stated before letting her memories guide her into the right room, locking the door behind her. She splashed water onto her face and freshened herself up before slapping her cheeks. "God! Why do I feel so nervous all of a sudden?" she thought to herself. She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked so different to when she was last here. Her lips were fuller and rosier, her cheekbones higher, jaw more prominent. But her eyes looked sadder. "Only a few hours and then you'll never have to be back here again" She convinced herself before drying off and making her way back into the room.

She slowly approached everyone and was surprised to see they were actually studying. She placed her bag down and sat in an empty seat between Ruka and Hotaru. "Did you save this seat for me?" mikan teased Hotaru, who merely rolled her onyx eyes in response. Ruka smiled up at Mikan, "Sakura! Yeah Hotar- I mean Imai and I saved this seat for you. Hey, are you okay? Your cheeks are kinda red, are you sick?"

Mikan felt her cheeks reddening even more, she couldn't explain that she had just slapped sense into herself in the bathroom, so she replied, " Oh no I just came back from dance class so I'm a little warm that's all!" She hadn't failed to notice either his use of Hotaru's first name when referring to her, she smiled to herself at the thought.

Soon everyone settled into a steady rhythm and worked both together and independently, while motivating each other and laughing, but also crying together over their work. Mikan finished her work ahead of the others and ended up falling asleep. She let out a light snore and everyone stifled a laugh. "Poor mikan, her brain never was able to keep up with academics huh?" Sumire laughed.
Hotaru quickly shushed them all, "don't wake her up, she's still jet lagged and has been non-stop since getting back." They all quickly returned to their studies, fearing that Hotaru would beat them with her baka-gun if they didn't comply. Everyone was so engrossed in their own work that they hadn't noticed Natsume had stopped working and was watching Mikan as she slept, an unreadable expression in his eyes.

Mikan jolted awake grabbing her cheek in shock, pain radiating through her flesh "Ouch! What was that?" she exclaimed, eyes wide.

" You were drooling all over my book, so I had to pinch you to wake you up." Hotaru replied coolly.
" You could have just woken me up gently!" Mikan argued back before slapping her friend on the arm.
"Oh will you girls ever stop bickering!" Sumire scolded, " Mikan, the girls and I were just discussing having a sleepover tonight! You have to come, I want to hear all about your new boy-toy!" she continued, wiggling her eyebrows.
"Sure, sure I'll come, although I think I'm all napped out I don't think I'll be able to get any sleep," Mikan laughed in response. She felt Natsume's eyes burning into her but fought the urge to look at him. "I'm meeting Tsubasa for dinner tonight, but I'll come after?"
The girls cheered in response followed by all the boys cheering for their own boys' night, all but one.

Everything felt right again in this moment, everything felt like they did 7 years ago, but Hotaru saw the sadness in her friend's face and knew that things had changed, and she wasn't the same girl as before. Where she was once outgoing and care-free she was now more reserved and cautious, quieter and more collected. But it was moments like these where her old self seemed to remerge again, even if only briefly.

Natsume had noticed too, there was a shift that probably only himself and Imai would notice. He noticed all the quick changes in her facial expressions, followed by forced smiles, noticed the hollowness in her own eyes and how they no longer looked his way. Questions flooded his mind as he watched her.

Mikan kicked the stones beneath her feet as she looked up at the night sky, the stars shining like they yearned to light up the darkness surrounding her. She always loved how small and insignificant the night sky made her feel, like all her problems were miniscule in the grand scheme of the universe. She was just a small speck in the ocean that is the world she lives in. She heard footsteps approaching and without having to look she knew who it was, she would know even if she was blind. "Can I sit with you?" a deep voice mumbled.
She turned her head and looked at the boy now stood before her, sighing in defeat. "You'll sit whether I say yes or no anyway so you may as well." She answered. Natsume chuckled softly and sat down on the bench beside her, also looking up at the night sky.

"Weren't you supposed to be at a slumber party or something?" He asked her calmly
"Weren't you?"
"I asked first"
"Okay fine, I just left for a breath of fresh air, it's nice being back with everyone but it's also a little exhausting constantly being around other people. It's different to what I'm used to. If the boys are anything like they were before I left then I'm assuming it's the same for you."
Natsume laughed, "yeah, things around here haven't changed much since you left, everyone's glad to have you back though, even if they don't know how to show it."

Mikan heart clenched in her chest, knowing It was his way of telling her how he felt without making her uncomfortable.

"Yeah, well, I'm glad to be back too."
"Did you miss it?" He asked her. Did you miss me?
"Of course I missed it, but California was home to me too, my mom was there with me, I had Tsubasa, I grew into the person I am now while I was there." She responded softly. "A lot happened over there and there were times I wanted to come back but I don't know, the timing didn't feel right."
Natsume looked at the girl sat beside him, wondering what had happened for her to mature so much since they had last sat together, beneath this same Sakura tree. "Does the timing feel right now?" he asked her gently. Mikan turned her head and found her amber eyes staring into his crimson ones, "I don't know Natsume," She started before turning her eyes back to the stars, "You broke my heart, and you left me at the time I needed you the most, would the timing ever feel right for you?"
Natsume felt his stomach drop, he'd left her when she had needed him the most? Guilt and shame crept his way into his mind as he dropped his eyes to the gravel under their feet. "Mikan I-"

"It's okay, Hyuuga, I got over it and I'm here now, so there's no use worrying about timing." The brunette rose to her feet and turned her back to him. "I'll see you around, ne?" Mikan chewed the inside of her cheek while walking away, heart hammering in her chest. Was she really over it?

"Stop calling me Hyuuga" was all he could muster up the courage to shout to her as she lifted a hand to wave him goodbye, without ever turning around to face him. He raked his hand through his raven hair and watched her leave, as he asked himself whether he was the one responsible for all the sadness she carried with her.

A/N: Well that's the third chapter for you guys! it's been a good few years since i've written creatively so i'm very rusty, apologies for that ;; i'm very much open to critques but please be kind! I'm unsure whether the writing i put out is conveying the emotions i want to put out so feedback on what you think would be much appreciated! see you soon with chapter 4!