ERICA, COQUETTE and LYDIA
Together the girls agreed that their best course of action was to go to the game, and waylay Ethan as soon as possible. Or waylay Morgan, as Ethan now often preferred to be known.
"Although it's a girls' name" observed Erica contemptuously. "It just proves Ethan's still geeky deep down"
"Ethan's probably thinking about the famous pirate, Captain Morgan" said Sarah thoughtfully.
"Pirates?" said Erica exasperated. "Who actually likes pirates?"
"Before Dusk, didn't you used to read those historical romances where the young woman's kidnapped by. . . ."
"It isn't the same thing" said Erica huffily. "They weren't the same kind of pirates Ethan might like. And I don't like those novels anymore anyways. Now, if you'll excuse me, if I have to sit in a warm, crowded gym and watch a basketball game that's doomed to be scrubbed from existence, I'm going to get a bottle of water from my locker."
But it so happened Erica couldn't get a bottle of water from her locker. Her locker had the wrong lock, and the wrong combination to boot.
It was slowly beginning to dawn upon Erica that no one in school seemed to recognize her. That is, of course, no one besides Sarah. Combined with Tempus Mercator's' warning that Erica wouldn't like this reality, Erica now began to worry.
Erica checked her phone, Googling her name. The internet was devoid of anything about Erica.
She thought for a minute.
"If I were still a vampire as of this morning" said Erica, "I wouldn't be posting any pictures."
Nor, as Erica had told Sarah, would she be in the yearbook. But where was she, and where had she gone? But what was could she do next? Call her Mom? Check with the office to see if an Erica was attending Whitechapel High?
"Maybe later" said Erica to herself. "Calling home will just lead to awkward questions. And going to the office? If I'm not a student here anymore . . . it'll be such a pain to be forced to leave the school when I have too much work to do. Besides, now that I think of it, I have something more interesting to look into. I never promised anything about looking! I have to see if it's there!"
It was a very short run to downtown Whitechapel from the high school. Even for a human being. Lotta Latte in fact, generally represented the edge of the business district. And a few blocks farther . . . after hesitating a moment, Erica looking about her, and again left school.
Ten minutes later, Erica was standing across the street from the heavy stone neo-gothic building that Rory had personally nicknamed "Vampire HQ". Ethan and Benny had adopted the name for the place after it had been blasted into history the spring before. And, to make it all the more annoying for Erica, the few times post- Lucifractor Sarah mentioned the place, even she had adopted the nickname.
Erica despised the name, and Rory for thinking it up. It was unromantic, unDusklike, and what was worse, made such a cool place sound like it belonged in a comic book panel or as the nerve centre for an evil organization in an action movie.
Yet, behind the wrought-iron fence, and snow-covered lawn, Erica spied one of the sun-glass wearing vampire thugs Anastasia had always placed just outside or just inside the entrance. The guards had been spruced up; black suit and black trench coat in deference to the winter weather, although it was not like the vampire needed. However, discipline at the vampire council seemed to be suffering, as the vampire was wearing ear-buds and obviously listening to music. Erica wondered idly if it was Single Tear.
As Erica stood there, the guard was joined by a tall young brunette dressed in a dark mink coat and tight jeans, with black sunglasses turned about the building, said a word to the thug with the ear buds, and seemed to replace him at the door.
Erica could have screamed with delight! Sophisticated, wealthy, fashionable vampires just across the street. At least judging by the clothes. How different from that demon and zombie-infested ghost town! The tiny blue gremlins! Ordinary times at school and home! Everything in her dreams come back again!
As Erica recalled, one of Anastasia's lesser annoying habits was a sexism in whom she chose as guards. As far as Erica could remember, until the last day Anastasia had depended on the similar-looking hungry vampires as guards. Erica herself was the only girl guard, and that was only when Anastasia's resources were depleted and Erica had nobody else to add to her ranks aside from Rory.
"So Anastasia's still dead" muttered Erica to herself. "And security's tight. Well, with Ethan and his geek posse out of the picture, they had almost a year to be attacked by Stern's possession spell or whatever it was that made immortals attack one another. So they are depleted.
Then something took Erica by complete surprise. A very, very old man in a black threadbare winter coat out of the 19th century exiting Vampire HQ and handing the statuesque brunette a mink hat.
"You hat, Mademoiselle" Erica could just barely hear, as she strained her ears.
"I've never seen an old vampire before!" said Erica aloud, as she continued to look across the street in amazement. "They wouldn't hire a human servant, would they?"
As was typical, the few people walking down the street this cold February day were uninterested in "Vampire HQ", thinking of it as a closed private office. And, consequently, that the doings there were innocent and commonplace. There was something new about the building that confirmed this view. The only outside change from what Erica had remembered was a bronze sign saying "V.C. Holding Corporation. Private Property. No Trespassing. Admittance by Appointment Only."
Erica thought it very unlike Anastasia to humble herself by putting up such a humdrum dodge to ward off unwanted attention. Not to mention uncool. V.C. Holding Corporation? Really!
Erica realized that the vampiress in mink seemed to be meeting her gaze. She had been spending a couple of minutes standing and looking; perhaps in the old days it would have been shrugged off as her gazing at the old stone building. But now . . . .
Erica hurriedly looked into a store window on her side of the street. Given it was a tattoo parlour, maybe it wasn't the best dodge in the world. "LYDIA'S QUALITY TATTOOS" read the sign. "VALENTINE'S DAY TATOOS". "MEN, IMPRESS YOUR GIRL WITH A SPECIAL VALENINE'S DAY TATTOO. HALF OFF UNTIL FRIDAY." And "GIRLS, GET A SPECIAL VALENTINE'S DAY TATTOO FOR YOUR GUY. HALF OFF UNTIL FRIDAY."
Various hearts and cupids in red and pink abounded in the display, along with prices for names by charging by number of letters.
Erica hadn't ever been much interested in tattoos for herself, let alone being a minor she wasn't allowed to get one. Besides, right they reminded her of pirates. Ethan and the Geek posse's idea of cool pirates, were, so thought Erica, likely space pirates. Or at least the one legged, parrot fancying, tattooed or eye-patched stereotypes.
The shop beyond the display was hidden by blinds, as was typical with tattoo shops. The cold winter sunlight reflected on the window, meaning Erica could see herself and "Vampire HQ" across the street. Erica, for a second, thought that the vampires had left as they were nowhere to be seen.
"That's stupid" said Erica to herself. "I'm losing my mind. They just doesn't reflect, but they're still there."
Actually they weren't. A gust of wind, and Erica realized that the tall brunette in the mink coat and tight denim jeans was behind her. High heel shoes made the tall woman look all the taller.
And there was the old man in the old black coat. He gave an obsequious bow.
The woman gave a gleeful little laugh and looked at Erica. She gave Erica a fanged little smile, though chose not to show her yellow eyes.
The old man also showed his fangs, although, unusually for a vampire, both his teeth and eyes were yellow.
Erica smiled at the woman without thinking. These were the first vampires Erica had met since she had last come face-to-face with the ghost of Jesse. And technically he had been a ghost, and not been a vampire at the time.
The romantic in Erica thought that given the woman's statuesque figure she'd be a good match for the new Werewolf Ethan, a star-crossed, Dusk werewolf-vampire courtship. In reality, of course, they probably couldn't cohabit the same room before they went at each other's throats. Leastways, Ethan . . . .
Suddenly, Erica had an incredible sinking feeling. The woman didn't suddenly cross the street like that to offer to make her a vampire! Or for an introduction to Ethan. Did she see Erica as prey? And what about this creepy old guy!
Well, the old man gave another bow. This only served to make Erica all the more nervous.
"Well, mon petite ami" hissed the vampiress, in a French accent. It was a Quebecois French accent, not that Erica could tell the difference. "I see you know all about moi. You forgot, that we immortels have super audition. I heard everything you said to yourself, did I not? Andre! Did you hear it too!"
"Oui, Mamselle" replied Andre.
"Now, Andre!" said the vampiress.
The old man, Andre, gripped Erica with an icy hand strong as steel. Now Erica paled, and stayed pale as the streetscape vanished in a blur as she was pulled away at vampire super-speed.
The dead travel fast.
The next thing Erica knew she found herself in the castle-like front hall of the Vampire HQ. Erica felt small as she stood on the red carpet, under the cavernous roof, and at the bottom of the grand staircase where, less than a year past, Benny and Rory had waiting idly while Ethan met Anastasia in the adventure that changed everything.
A shaft of light glared in the dark building, but was quickly shut out by the thug in the black suit and earbuds.
"Idiot!" the woman hissed at him. "Go, go outside! No wonder your friends were beset these last year! You stay and listen to les peasants, les mortals, listen to their gossip as they go past! I don't demand you just stand outside the council looking stupid! You bring me the news!"
"Mais oui, Mademoiselle Coquette!" said the thug, in a terrible French accent that sounded like "May we May dem colecut."
"Maintenant pour vous" hissed Coquette, turning to Erica. "You have no, how you say, no known association with us. Yet you know of the decimation of our numbers, our diminution, in this, notre bastion, our, stronghold. You know the end of the most powerful amongst us, the great Anastasia and the tres adroit Horace Black!"
"I've met the both of them" said Erica in an attempt at a casual voice.
"C'est bonne" said Coquette, looking at Erica with curiosity. "I have something to keep me amused today."
Erica gave Coquette a haughty look, which only served to make Coquette laugh.
"Tu es une petite fille stupide!"
"Who are you calling a stupid little girl?" replied Erica angrily.
"C'est bein. Tu comprehende!"
"I understand enough."
"Vous entendez! Hear now!" said Coquette. "Since you know much, it pleases me that you should know all. I have lived for three hundred years in my manor seigneurial, the seigniorial manor-house my mortal ancestors built during the reign of Louis XIV when the Marquis de Denonville was governor-general of Quebec. I alone of my family chased and found life-in-death, and I alone survived when my family fell victim to the pox. Since that time I was served for many years by the loyal Andre who you see here before you.
Andre gave another of his bows.
"When he grew old, he promised to have sat in the manor of my family forever, so on his deathbed I turned him into my undead forever servant. And he has luring in my prey without my having to do much in the way of the hunt! Although a thick wood has grown out around my home over the centuries I have lived in luxury in the place of my long abode."
"Although Mademoiselle Coquette travels when she so pleases" replied Andre. "And enjoys the cuisine the world has to offer."
"Of course" said Coquette. "But you see, you, mon petite, I am the last of the vraiment grands et puissants vampires du Canada, the truly powerful vampires in this country. There are older, elders who tend to the library, but they are powerless idiots. None so great as oui! Now that Jesse and Anastasia and their first henchmen, their acolytes, their sbires have been destroyed . . . I have been sent for. Ils m'ont supplié de venir. To my manor house they sent their deputation to beg my expertise! And now! I am the new chair of the les conseil des vampires! Les grande fromage! But the fools they are! They give me the building and all that is theirs! They think, mon cherree that moi, I should run around fighting the vampire hunters and les loup garous. No! I keep the riches, power and art of the council and pretend. Am I right, dear Andre!"
"Oui, Mademoiselle!" said Andre cheerily.
"But, they may be suspicious if I do not protect them or explain what had beset them" said Coquette. "Now, tu shall tell moi all you know before I dispose of you. All about this Stern. And this Ethan and ils sbires, his hench-force of geeks! Ethan, Ethan, who is this Ethan? The only one I know of is the one cunning enough to have heard destroyed Jesse, but seems to have all but forgot le monde cache, the hidden world that you have so idiotically intruded on with your idle gossip!"
"But now, mon petite, what should I do with you? Glamour you now, and have you tell my secrets! Or break you on the rack!"
During Coquette's orations, for nothing else could better describe her way of talking, Erica's fear turned into annoyance. Erica hated being threatened; she found Coquette's melodramatic utterances way over the top; and last, and least, Erica considered that after three-hundred-years, the least Coquette could do was learn how to say "big cheese" in English.
"If I'm going to die" thought Erica, "I'm not going to die timidly while this Coquette . . . who I never heard of . . . talks herself up."
Erica believed that Coquette was a braggart, despite knowing surprisingly little of what had gone on in Whitechapel the last two years. If she was the most powerful vampire left in the country, well, the rest of the vampires were pathetic to call her in!
Erica was also vaguely aware Ethan and his geek posse had just the last summer, in the unaltered past, cashiered an attempt to create a new vampire council in Toronto. As the scheme involved three male vampires, Erica didn't know if Coquette was connected to, or would have ultimately joined the reconstituted vampire council. In fact, the last she heard of the matter, Ethan had said there were few if any vampires left in the entire country. Coquette must have been one of them; and to hear her talk, their principal figure.
These thoughts, and the realization Erica had nothing to lose, gave her courage.
"You know, you're doing this all wrong" interrupted Erica at last.
"Tu . . . you challenge me?" said Coquette.
"Of course I do" said Erica impatiently. "Why not make me one of you?
"What is this?"
"I was one of Jesse's flock" said Erica, deciding to pause for melodramatic effect. "I escaped the rain of holy water at the Westdale Theatre. But I was turned back into a mortal."
"How!" asked Coquette.
Erica considered the best answer.
"Through some stupid glowing blue formula I was tricked into drinking" lied Erica.
Coquette placed her hands together and smiled gleefully.
"Sacre blue!" said Coquette. "Then I am now regarding a tres idiote and a traitor! I have heard of such a potion! You have taken it and betrayed us with this Stern, this Ethan and this posse of geeks! You will meet the death of a traitor to immortal kind! After you tell us your secrets!"
"If you think I'm going to be tortured or glamoured into giving you any information you're going to be disappointed" snapped Erica. "You're just not strong enough."
"Don't you dare speak to Mademoiselle like that, you upstart!" threatened Andre, showing his yellow teeth and yellow eyes.
"We shall see, mon petite" laughed Coquette. "I have always been able to merely sit on a rock outside my gate and glamour the unwary traveller into my clutches with my gaze!"
"I don't think it was your glamour that did it" replied Erica. "At least not in the way you think of glamouring. I can see why, Coquette, you . . . ."
There was a sudden interruption from outside the heavy door.
"WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF!"
"ANDRE!" ordered Coquette.
Andre, without thinking, opened the door wide to look.
"Chien fou, Chien fou!" Coquette shrieked, waving her hands. "How I despise these mad canines! Some of them always know!"
The vampire guard was doing a stupid get-this-dog-off-my-leg dance, as he desperately trying to shake a very angry and aggressive Yellow Labrador retriever. The guard had been entirely indifferent to the dog as it barked and ran toward him; having continued listening to his music despite the command from Coquette. And once the dog sunk its teeth into his un-dead flesh, the vampire found he couldn't shake it. As vampires aren't immune to animal bites (they merely heal quickly) the guard was bleeding profusely from his ripped pant-legs.
"Get the hell off!" said the guard, who was fanged and certainly yellow-eyed under his sunglasses.
He started to try to shake the dog off at super-speed, so all Erica saw was a black coat and a yellow blur, but that didn't work.
Finally, the guard started to rise in the air.
"Descendes toi idiot!" shrieked Coquette. "This is daylight, this is a broad street!"
The guard obeyed, and crumpled on the ground in a heap.
The dog went in for the kill, and started to worry the vampire's neck. Desperately he covered his jugular with his gloved hands, hoping to protect his useless jugular from the angry dog's reach.
"C'est ridiculous" said Coquette.
"Krypto!" said Erica in astonishment as she stepped outside. "It's you! Good boy! I swear I'll never insult or laught at you again!"
Rory's dog hated any supernatural creature, or leastways any supernatural creature that was usually evil. Krypto had destroyed an old pair of Rory's socks that stank of vampire sweat. Nor could Krypto even tolerate the smell Ethan or Benny when they were turned into a "counterfeit" werewolf and a "counterfeit" zombie respectively.
Krypto barely glanced over at Erica, as he continued to attack the guard. Coquette overcame her reticence to signal Andre to pull the dog off, but she herself backed away.
GRROOOOOOOOOOOOWLLLLLL!
"Hey, look out!"
"Bad dog! Bad dog!"
This noise, this commotion, this scene taking place in public in broad daylight, actually attracted attention, in perpetually apathetic Whitechapel.
A pedestrian or two, or some of the store owners and customers ran to the scene of the dog worrying the man's throat.
First among them was Lydia the tattoo artist. Lydia was in shorts and a tank-top and was in fact was covered with tattoos and virtually anything that could be pierced was pierced. She had two piercings in her navel.
At the back of the crowd was Lydia's opposite; a heavy middle-aged woman in a business jacket screaming "Bad Aero! Come back Aero! Let go Aero!"
There was more shouting. Yelling. And above it all, Krypto barking.
Fighting the deepest revulsion, Andre managed to grab Krypto by his collar.
"I have the dog, Mademoiselle!" Andre said.
The guard hastily stood up, and shrank from the dog. He stood up, with an array of bleeding bite-marks for all the crowd to see.
"Oh Aero!" said the woman. "How could you! What am I going to do!"
"It is, how you say, alright" said Coquette sullenly. "We understand the dog, it is active. Mon ami, he likes dogs. Just because he is a little bruised, he'll let it slide."
"His leg is all bitten up" said a man in the crowd. "And his neck!"
"It's okay" said the vampire guard reluctantly, looking towards Coquette. "I like dogs! I'll be okay. Believe me, I'll be okay!"
Coquette rubbed her lips with her finger, the guard had spoken with his fangs out and attracted the gaze of the crowd.
"I'm okay!" said the guard, conspicuously smiling and deliberately not showing his fangs. "Just a few bandages!"
"You should report this!" said Lydia. "IF you don't, I will!"
"And have this poor puppy-dog destroyed!" objected Coquette.
"BARK, BARK, BARK!"
The "poor puppy-dog" was loudly objecting to being held by Andre.
"Not necessarily" said Lydia. "It's the law, you know. And you, guy, should really get to the hospital!"
"I told you" insisted the vampire guard. "I'm okay."
"Mon amee Lydia" said Coquette. "I would not hear of turning in this poor puppy-dog. And how should it look if you insisted upon it. A little puppy-dog, a petite chien, bites a big man and the man wants him destroyed. And Lydia, la dame tatouée has him destroyed. C'est terrible!"
"Aero has his shots!" put in the fat woman, who had now managed to finally leash the angry dog. "I don't understand, usually he's very friendly. Friendly, and active! Too much for me. I don't know why I bought him. But he looked so lonely at the puppy farm, waiting for someone to buy him."
"You bought le chien, you should get him more exercise or sell him" said Coquette sternly. "Now, if you'll excuse us, this is still a place of business. Merci mes amis for coming to help, but we must go inside. We have the work sensitive."
Coquette removed her sunglasses, and stared at the crowd with glowing yellow eyes.
"Vous irez tous nous laisser tranquilles. Vous oublierez tout."
The crowd dispersed; although the fat woman could only drag the struggling "Aero" away once Coquette, Andre and the vampire guard had disappeared inside.
"Oh, Andre, I am so fatigued!" said Coquette. "It isn't easy to glamour a crowd of people."
"Should I draw your bubble bath" asked Andre. "And your favourite type blood from the cellar?"
"No, I shall keep calm" said Coquette.
Coquette, as was her habit when choosing to keep calm, rose several feet in the air and screamed.
"Aieeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Feeling better, she descended and looked at the guard with her nose in the air.
"Well, Colby" said Coquette. "You are the same idiote you were these past ninety years. I hate turning adolescent stupides into les immortals, and you are, as you Anglais say, Exhibit A of this! I don't know why I command you here except that your annoyance is so amusing to me!"
The guard looked sulky, but took a moment to reply.
"Mademoiselle, that mutt chewed up my leg" protested the guard. "It's going to be scarred all day long."
"Meanwhile, we have lost our little traitor in all the noise. Sacre blue! Let us step outside! She may still be there!"
"Mademoiselle, she's long gone by now!" said Andre.
"I am the one who is giving the orders!"
Coquette waved the guard and Andre outside.
Sure enough the grounds were empty and the street was Erica-free.
"Do you wish me to go after her, Mademoiselle?" said Andre.
Coquette looked across the street at the tattoo parlour, crossed her arms and frowned.
"No!" said Coquette, choosing to give a fanged smile. "She is just an adolescente stupide! Maybe if you sniff her out, later on. But, I don't care too much. Maybe she knows something, maybe she just babbles idiotically! Besides, this Lydia across the street! I don't like lady with so many tattoos and piercings! She annoys me more than that, how you say, petite fille or that chien fou. You, Colby, destroy her tonight or you'll be a pile of dust by morning."
"Yes, Mademoiselle" said Colby, with a very visible shudder.
Once again, Coquette and her guard disappeared inside the building.
As for Erica herself, she had heard this last from where she was concealed behind Lydia's tattoo parlour.
Erica shook her head.
"Better no vampire council at all than those clowns" Erica said to herself. "I don't care so much about Benny and Ethan. I just can't wait to send Coquette back to her mansion in the woods with her warped old family retainer. Le grande fromage! Ha! I'd like to stuff her mink hat down her throat!"
Erica smiled to herself and began to walk back to school. But first Erica stopped at a convenience store to buy some garlic, though she really hated the stuff.
Author's Note
"Lydia" is a reference to an old Marx Brothers movie named "At the Circus". Groucho Marx sings the praises of "Lydia the Tattooed Lady". It's a funny song.