Hailey is sure it's past ten o clock when she hears the apartment door open, she hadn't done much from returning home. She was too tired to even think, but unable to switch off her ever gnawing thoughts.

If you count much, turning on her vinyl and Mariah Carey's 'We Belong Together' playing softly with the minimal volume of the TV already being on before that, not much was going on.

Her thoughts were muddled, between everything that had transpired with Roy, hence lying to Jay and the rest of the unit, and because of this, her and Jay were on rocky terms.

Of course when they were at work, they talked about everything and anything to do with work, that boundary that Hailey had put in a few months ago when Voight was on the verge of finding out about them; things had been easier then, a lot easier.

But when they removed themselves from the professional environment, not many words were spoken when they were in the same safe environment that was their apartment. Things are awkward, tense. Hailey feels like she's constantly walking on eggshells and she shouldn't feel like that when it's her and Jay because he's her safe space, he's the person she can go to about everything.

But he's hurting, with this secret she had been keeping. And as much as it was killing her, it was killing him too.

Today was just another example, but it seemed like it had escalated. Jay was completely dismissing orders, snapping at Voight when he didn't agree with what he was saying, in relation to his new C.I, immediately on the defensive because of what had escalated earlier, with him and Hailey almost getting shot at.

On top of everything regarding their conversation in the viewing room. Everything seemed to be escalating at all the wrong times.

Hailey's eyes trail over to Jay who has removed his jacket and work boots. She cleared the nerves in her throat and said, "Hey."

"Hey." Jay looked at her as he replied. Hailey didn't know if that was a sign in the right direction but at least he was looking at her, which is a lot more than he had been doing since the whole ordeal.

She watched as he moved towards the kitchen, taking a glass and a bottle of whiskey that hadn't been drunk by her. The apartment was silent apart from the absent minded sound of the television as he uncorked the lid of the whiskey bottle.

Hailey watched as he poured some whiskey into a glass, her gaze ever so fervent on him. The soft sound of the wind and the melodic music of Mariah Carey's We Belong Together playing through the vinyl.

"Want one?" She looked up to his questionable gaze on her.

"Don't you think it's too late to drink?" She asked.

Jay just shrugged at her response, gesturing towards the bottle again before Hailey just nodded and the easy sound of another glass of whiskey being poured seemed to cut out the awkwardness.

He grabbed the two glasses and moved towards the couch, passing Hailey her respective glass without a word.

Glancing down at the couch, she took notice of how apart they were. Even though they were sitting down, Jay wasn't as close to her as he would be, their knees would be touching, slightly without even thinking it, the way he would edge closer to her. Again, without even thinking about it.

Now as they sat next to each other on the couch, Hailey took note of the way Jay was farther away from her as he wouldn't usually be.

And that…

Well, to put it bluntly: it really stung.

They couldn't continue like this.

Her gaze always on him, she took a deep breath, not knowing how to start the conversation, but the knowledge of their earlier conversation needing to be resolved, or at least done so they could try and act normal. Well, as normal as they could be. Without the awkwardness and the constant walking on eggshells, this wasn't them.

Hailey didn't say a word as she watched Jay take a sip of his whiskey, the right words not coming to mind, there was no easy way to start the conversation she supposed.

"Think we can talk?" Hailey asked.

Jay just looked at her with a shrug. "Can we?"

Hailey chose to ignore that even though it pained her chest to hear him say it, "Yeah… I think we can."

"We always have," Hailey continues. "Do you not think we can?"

Jay sighs, "Is this about earlier?"

She just shrugs, "We can talk, I mean that's what we do, right? We talk. But it can't work one way if one of us wants to do it and the other doesn't."

Jay put his glass down prompting Hailey to do the same.

"Yes, Hailey. We can." Jay cleared his throat.

"Really?" She should just be honest. She didn't think Jay actually realised how much he was hurting her by not talking. "Because you look at me like I'm a stranger."

"I don't mean to."

"Or do you just not care to want to talk to me?" Hailey's emotions were bubbling up and she would probably say something she would regret but she needed to get it together. "Or… am I losing you and I just don't know it yet?"

"Hailey, you're not losing me. You… I…"

"What do you see when you look at me?" The question caught Hailey and Jay both off guard but it needed to be asked.

Before Jay used to look at Hailey like she was the only girl in the world, the love of his life, his best friend. Someone he couldn't live without. Now Hailey would like to think that hasn't changed but with the way he is so distant towards her, she can't figure him out because he won't talk to her.

When that's what their entire partnership is built on.

Trust.

"What?" Jay breathed in.

"What do you see when you look at me?" She repeated.

It seemed Jay was speechless, for the first time in a long time. "I… I see you, Hailey."

"What is that, exactly?" Hailey felt nervousness creep into her bones. She was expecting the words of someone I can no longer trust, someone I don't know if I should no longer be with… someone who betrayed my trust, someone I wished just let me in…

"I see my best friend," Hailey swallowed the lump in my throat. "I see the one person who hasn't given up on me, I see the person who has always kept me in line when I've lost sight of things. I see the person who let me believe that love was actually something good and meaningful and on top of all that, I see the person I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with."

"You're still you to me, Hailey. You always have been." Jay took a deep breath. "And I'm not mad at you, not even. Even if I was, I would never raise my voice to make you feel unsafe or to get my point because I would never do that to you, I love you."

"I love you too," Hailey murmured, because she really did and he needed to hear it.

"And yeah, I'm disappointed that you couldn't come to me, or feeling like you couldn't because of what you might've thought I'd say because of it. Seeing you not sleeping and being tortured over it was enough to know I don't blame you, but what hurt was that I couldn't do anything about it because I didn't know." Hailey hung her head down at that. If there was anything apart from the guilt was keeping the secret, lying to everyone around her, including Jay. It was the fact that he felt helpless and couldn't help her because she wouldn't tell him. "But what happened doesn't change my opinion of you. I've just… I've seen it happen and I didn't want it to happen to you because you're a good person, Hailey. Whatever Voight put in your head to make you think you weren't even as far as to not believe it, or whatever mind game he's playing… you are a good person and just a pawn in this dirty game he's playing. It's not on you."

"And I'm sorry for making you believe that I didn't think you were still you, because I know you are. That has never been the issue, Hailey. I don't know, I'm just… dealing I guess."

"I get that." Hailey nodded. "And I know I've apologised already but I will always be sorry for the fact that I didn't tell you."

"I know you will," Jay smiled slightly, causing Hailey to smile slightly as well.

"Drink?" Hailey laughed softly at that and the two picked up their whiskey glasses before taking a long sip and putting them back down.

"Can I… can I give you a hug?" Hailey still felt a little unsure about things even though they had talked, she still felt the need to ask. Not wanting to invade his personal space.

"Yeah," Jay nodded with a breath. "You can."

Hailey nodded as she wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling a little timid but immediately relaxed as she felt Jay instantly wrap his arms around her waist, reciprocating her response of a hug.

"I'm sorry," Jay muttered into her shoulder, breathing her scent in for the first time in a number of weeks since he found out. "I'm sorry for making you think I didn't believe in you."

"It's okay," Hailey sighed, resting her head in the crook of his neck. It was amazing how much better she felt just by Jay's presence. He really made her feel safe.

"No, it's not." She felt Jay lightly shake his head. "I see you. I believe you. I love you. And I'll try better, okay? I promise."

"You have a right to be angry, Jay. I get it." Hailey answered. "But I can't lie and say that it's not reassuring to hear you say that."

"Good," Jay affirmed. "Because I mean it."

The most safe Hailey would ever feel was in the warmth of Jay's arms and the comfort of their safe space which was their apartment.

Things weren't going to be okay overnight, Hailey knew that.

But he still looked at her the same.

And for Hailey, that was all she needed to know for the belief that would continue to maintain in her that everything would be alright.

9x07 post fic is finally done, this took me a long time but i'm so glad i completed it.

a/n: the conversation jay and hailey had in the viewing room was an important and meaningful one, it had to have happened. which i'm so glad it did but it was tough for all of us to see our favs like that but i have no doubt they'll come out of this stronger.

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