Set after Brothers in Arms (if we just pretend that Sam never got the offer to London). Sam meets David for the first time.
The smile spread across her face as she rounded the corner, a file tucked under her arm. Things hadn't changed much between her and Michael, since the kiss, they hadn't really spoken about it or given a name to it yet. But it hadn't stopped Sam finding any excuse to spend time with him. Although the niggling reminder that Helen was still very much apart of his life stayed in her head. It felt like a warning, telling her not to take it further. But she just felt compelled to be with him, whether that was as something more or not. The universe was pulling her towards Michael and, for once in her life, she was letting it happen. (Although, this was probably the one time she shouldn't let it happen).
Her hand pushed the door to his office open, "Michael, I've got the case report you wanted-" she stopped as she noticed the little boy staring back at her; the short, dark hair and bright green eyes giving away who he was instantly. Her lips twitched, it was like looking at a mini Michael, "You must be David." He hadn't told her that his son was coming down, although, she would have no reason to know that.
"How do you know my name?" He eyed her suspiciously, she almost chuckled, he had all the same mannerisms as his father.
"I'm a friend of your dads," she stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. "Have you seen him?"
He raised an eyebrow, "I've sent him on a mission."
"A mission?"
"It's top secret, I can't tell you," he kept a beady on her as she sat down in the chair opposite him. She didn't look familiar to him, he hadn't seen her before, that was for sure. "Are you a detective as well?"
"No, not quite," Sam shook her head. "I'm a pathologist."
David's face screwed up, "What's that?"
Hm, she hadn't quite prepared for that question. She should've, she invited it after all. But it was always easier explaining the ins and outs of pathology to an adult as opposed to a seven year old boy, "Well," she started, thinking carefully over her next words. "When someone dies, their body leaves behind clues. It's my job to find those clues."
He screwed his face up in confusion, she could see him trying to work out what that all meant, "That's a silly job," he nodded to himself, as if he was the only one with some sort of sense in the room.
Sam's head flicked as she heard a chuckle coming from behind, her stomach stirring as she took him in, the smile that was planted on his face. She could feel her own lips twitching as she held his gaze, a gaze that lasted a touch too long. Reality set in as her fingers tightened around the brown file that still sat in her hands.
"Is that the case report?" Michael gestured to the file as he walked further into the room, placing a cup in front of the young boy, a hand mussing his hair. She laughed as the boy screwed his face up, swatting at his dad.
"Yes," she nodded, passing it over to him as she stood. "I only came to drop that off so I better get going, speak to you soon." She gave him a small smile as she made her way out of his office, shaking her head at herself. She didn't only come to his office to pass the file on, she came because she wanted an excuse to see him again, not that she really needed an excuse but even so, she found one. She hoped they could go for lunch, she had taken the afternoon off after all. But seeing David in that chair had instantly quashed that idea, no matter how she felt about Michael she wasn't going to come between him and his son.
She stopped short in the hallway as she heard her name being called, she hated the way her stomach had dropped at the sound of his voice, "Sam wait," he walked quickly towards her. "Come to lunch with us, if you're free that is."
She bit her lip to stop the smile that threatened, "I can't I-"
Michael dug his hands into his pocket, rolling his eyes at her, "You can't, or you won't?"
"You should spend time with David on your own," she spoke, matter of factly. "You don't need me intruding on that."
"Sam," his voice was low as he reached out, his hand coming to rest on her arm. "I want you to be there, please?" He dropped his hand as he heard footsteps approaching them. Everyone knew they were close, Michael had heard snippets of gossip on many occasions, but he tried his best to remain professional; especially when the gold band still sat on his ring finger, not that it meant all that much to him anymore. Not when his every waking thought consisted of someone else. "David likes you already so you don't even have to worry about that."
His eyes searched hers as she mulled over her answer, "Come on, Sam. Don't make me beg."
"Okay, fine," she held her hand up. "I'll come." Her heart fluttered as his whole face lit up.
"I'll be two seconds, wait there," he disappeared down the corridor, appearing a few moments later with his coat on and the small boy holding his hand. The likeness even more striking now that they were stood next to each other. She tried not to think about how it would look, the three of them at a table together. They'd look like a normal family, a mother and father taking their son out for food. Then she thought about her own son, for the first time in a long time. She never got to do these things with him, she didn't even know where he was now, all she had was the name that she gave him and a crumpled photo that sat in her purse. She shook the thought away, feeling the tears filling her eyes.
"You ready?" Michael asked as he got closer to her. She nodded, forcing a smile across her face, the thoughts of her son buried to the back of her head now.
Michael had taken them to the same pub he had taken her when they first met. The one he had told her was much too sophisticated for his colleagues, the one they always just happened to meet up in. The same bench every time, as if it was their place.
They ordered their food and ate in silence. Sam smiled to herself as she watched Michael fuss over David making a mess with his peas. Sam pushed her fork around her plate, "So David, what's it like spending time with your dad?"
The little boy shrugged his shoulders before Michael answered for him, "Helen said I could have him for the whole weekend," she noted the sarcasm in his tone. She knew how much he had struggled, how much he had argued with his wife just to be able to see his son. It didn't seem right, especially since she was the one who was in the wrong in the first place, why should Michael be punished? Although, from the time she first properly spoke to Helen, she couldn't say she was surprised that the woman had tried taking the upper hand despite her being the one to find solace in someone else's bed.
"Sam," David piped up, a handful of peas falling from his plate. She suppressed a giggle as Michael sighed. "How many dead bodies have you seen?"
She choked on her wine and it was Michael's turn to laugh at her now. She forgot just how blunt kids could be sometimes, "Now David, I'm sure Sam doesn't want to talk about dead bodies when she's trying to eat her lunch."
The little boy huffed, "Can we go to the park now?"
"In a minute," Michael caught Sam's gaze briefly before looking down at his son once again. "How about you show Sam what you've got to do."
Suddenly the boys eyes had lit up and he was digging into the small backpack that sat next to him. He pulled out a small book, opening it up to reveal various pictures of insects and different types of leaves.
"Dad promised me that he'd take me to the park so I can tick them off," David pointed at the all the pictures excitedly. Then he looked up at Sam, eyes wide. "You can come with us."
Michael opened his mouth to speak, his eyes flicking between his son and her, trying to gauge her reaction, "I think Sam has better things to be doing with her afternoon."
She held her hand up, "No I'd love to," she leaned in closer to the young boy. "Besides, I can think of a better place we can go than the park," she winked, a smirk on her face. She whispered now, "It's top secret though so you'll have to keep quiet."
Michael pulled his eyebrows together, he'd never really seen Sam with kids. At least, not with kids this young. She had never struck him to be quite so maternal but it made him wonder, a question that he had never asked her, did she have kids? He would assume they'd be older now if she did, especially since there were no signs of any children in her life.
Sam took them to the forest that backed onto her house. She often went for walks down there, admiring the wildlife, it was peaceful. A place where she could block out the world for a little while and just forget about everything that plagued her mind on a daily basis.
She beamed as David ran ahead of them, squatting down every five minutes as he spotted something else that he could tick off his list. She could feel Michael's arm brushing hers every now and then and she tried her hardest to ignore the shiver that ran down her spine every time.
Although perhaps the shiver was a result of it being a cold winters day and she had forgotten to bring a coat; not that she had quite anticipated going for a walk in the forest searching for insects during her free afternoon. She wrapped her arms around herself, "Should've brought my coat."
Michael stopped, shrugging his coat off, passing it over to her without a second thought, "Here, take this."
"I can't do that, you'll freeze," it did look inviting though and she could feel the warmth radiating from it already.
"I won't take no for an answer," he pushed it further into her. "Besides, I've got my suit on, I'll be fine." Their eyes stayed connected as Sam remained her usual stubborn self, he wished he could shake her sometimes. "It's only a coat, Sam. Take it."
She dropped her arms, relenting, "Fine," she took it from his hands. She tried not to show how much better it felt to have it on, how much warmer she was already. How the smell of him had engulfed her instantly and made her feel calm, feel at home.
"Now," Michael continued on the walk trying to distract himself from the incessant beating of his heart, trying to ignore how good she looked in his coat, how it had completely drowned her. "Are you going to tell me what you've done with my son? I've never seen him like this."
"I refuse to believe that," Sam shook her head, catching up with him. "He's a good kid. Reminds me of someone else I know."
"Oh yeah?" He raised an eyebrow.
Sam opened her mouth to answer, to make a quip that was on the tip of her tongue but she could hear her name being called. She made her way over to the little boy who was pointing at something with a million legs crawling across the floor with so much excitement she thought he was going to explode, "Look! Look!"
She joined him, inspecting the bug carefully, "Ah, yes, definitely a millipede. Is that one on your list?" She took the book from him as she flicked through the pages, her ears twitching as she heard Michael's footsteps approaching them on the path. "There we go," she held her hand out for the pen that David gave happily as she ticked the box. "You've nearly finished it!" Her and David exchanged a small high five before the boy was sprinting off again, much more eagerly this time.
Michael laughed as Sam stood up straight, wobbling as she caught her foot on a small stone, he reached out instinctively, his arm catching her waist. Sam's breath caught in her throat as she realised just how close they were now. She urged herself to take a step back, to put distance between them but she couldn't bring herself to, his hand burning into the small of her back.
"Sam," his voice was low, not that David would be able to hear him anyway, he was too engrossed in the tree he was gazing up at.
Sam bowed her head, "Michael, not here," she knew they needed to have the conversation. And this wasn't her running away from it, she wanted that conversation to happen just as much as he did but this wasn't the time nor the place. Not with his son here. And she didn't want Michael to spend the little time he had with his son thinking about her, that wasn't fair.
Michael nodded, dropping his hand, he understood. He always understood.
"Dad," David groaned, dragging his feet across the path as he made his way over to them. "I'm hungry."
"What?" Michael exclaimed, lifting his wrist to check the time on his watch. "You only had lunch two hours ago."
Sam tapped Michael on the arm before lowering herself down to David's height, "Ignore him. My house is only round the corner, how about we go there and I can make you your favourite food?"
"Can we dad?" David grinned up at his dad.
"As long as you're okay with that Sam? I don't want to intrude…" he trailed off.
She waved her hand, "I offered. Besides it'll be nice to have some company for a change."
"He's fallen asleep on the sofa," Michael sighed as he walked into the kitchen, taking a sip of his wine. "I should get going anyway, we've probably bugged you enough for one day."
"No," she could feel the lump in her throat as her arms were elbow deep in dish water, she had been trying not to think about Joe. But the sound of David's laugh had filled the kitchen and she couldn't help but think about all the things she had missed out on, the little moments that she would never get back. Because he was in Ireland somewhere and probably wanted nothing to do with her. She couldn't blame him, she would do the same. But it wasn't her fault, not really. She wanted to keep him, she wanted to look after him. She had put everything in place to get out of the country. But it was too late, her mother had found out and that was the end of it. She gave him a name and they took him away from her. The tears slipped down her cheeks.
"Sam?" Michael furrowed his brow, noticing the woman had gone quiet, her back to him. He was by her side instantly as he heard a sniffle. "Sam, what's wrong? Sam, look at me." He lifted her arms out of the water, his hands moving to sit on her shoulder, forcing her to look at him. "Come here." He pulled her into his chest, his fingers threading through her hair as he held her close to him.
"Talk to me, please."
He could feel her chest rising and falling as she calmed herself. He had never seen her cry before, at least not properly, not like this. She had always remained so stoic despite what life had thrown at her. It was probably because of the job, because it had been so heavily drummed into her that emotions were a sign of weakness. She was a woman in a male dominated world, she needed to be cold to be taken seriously. He seen through it though, he'd seen the tears sit in her eyes on many occasions but nothing more than that. And he never pointed it out, he knew never to bring attention to it. But it was different now, they were in the middle of her kitchen, there was no one here that would judge her.
"I've got a son, Michael," she let out, eventually.
"What?" He wasn't expecting that, he pulled back from her slightly to look at her.
"They took him away, as a baby," she chewed her bottom lip. "I don't even know where he is now, somewhere in Ireland, I think," she paused, taking a deep breath. "You two being here today just reminded me of what I missed out on."
"Why didn't you say anything? I would never have you forced you to lunch if you-"
"No, no, Michael," she shook her head, interrupting him. "I've loved every minute of it. Just took me by surprise that's all. Didn't expect it all to get dragged up again."
"Oh, Sam," he pulled her into him again, his hand running up and down her back. "What was he like?"
She shrugged her shoulders, "I was only with him for one day, I've got a photo of him in my purse, but that's it," she moved away from him, grabbing her bag. She knew exactly where it was, only moving it when she changed her purse. She wiped the back of her hand across her cheek, "Here." She held the photo out to him, her fingers caressing the edge of the paper in the same way she always did whenever she looked at it.
"He's beautiful," Michael smiled softly. He could feel his heart breaking for her, she didn't deserve this. And the fact she was carrying that secret around with her, it didn't seem fair. "Have you ever tried looking for him?"
Sam shook her head, "No point. Probably doesn't even know I exist. He'll be happier without me anyway."
"No he wouldn't," Michael tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "You would've been an amazing mother Sam, I've seen that today. It wasn't your fault. You should've been given the chance to be a mum."
She took the photo back, placing it in the same spot it always lived, taking a deep breath, "Anyway, enough about that. We need to talk."
Michael nodded, "We do," he tucked his hands into his pocket as he leaned against the counter. "Helen and I are getting a divorce."
Her head flicked up at that, "What?" The last time they had this conversation, he had made it sound as though they had worked everything out, that they were going to be making a go of it. She wasn't quite expecting him to come out with that, even if he had spent all day with her and his son. Even if they had kissed, she had expected him to just forget about her, to leave her just like everyone else. But he was here, in her kitchen, telling her that he was leaving his wife.
"It was a long time coming," Michael sighed. "But you made me realise what I deserve, Sam. She cheated on me, she made me feel worthless. You gave me a reason to get up in the morning."
"Michael," her arms crossed over her body. "What about David?"
"We're going to tell him, soon. Just got to find the right moment," he stepped towards her. "Sam, we don't have to fight it anymore."
She avoided his eye as she swallowed, her breaths deepening. This was all she ever wanted, all she wanted to hear, there was nothing stopping her anymore. Nothing standing in her way and that absolutely terrified her. She had done so much to keep up that barrier between them and now it was gone.
"Sam," he breathed, he rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes; relishing in the feeling of her being so close to him. His lips pressed into her cheek and he could feel her turning into him, giving into him and he couldn't help the way his lips tugged into a smile. Sam had always been stubborn, but he was always willing to fight for her.
Sam could feel herself failing, the walls tumbling down, brick by brick. She was weak when she was around him and she didn't care, she didn't care one bit. Her head turned, their lips inches apart, she could feel his breath running along her top lip, her heart racing now. It was time to be selfish, to give in to what she truly wanted. There wasn't anything to hold her back.
Her lips connected with his, her hand reaching round to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. This was them, finally. This was their time to be themselves, completely unguarded and free.