"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." ― Winston Churchill

I still make the three of us train hard. The sinking feeling of dread vibrates in my bones. Each of us phasing every day still isn't enough for Jared to waver in his happiness, no matter how hard it gets in the forest. The memories of Kim's laughter and adoration strike a bitter cord within me. As a result, I add in training to shield our minds from each other better. Jared and Paul never quite manage to catch on completely. My own ability fails to shelter them from the annoyance I possess. The guilt from that surfaces during the darkest hours of the night, and only when I'm alone. I can hide shame, at the very least.

Bella's face haunts me in these moments too. The feeling of my blood pumping through my heart solely for her never ceases to scare me. I don't know what choice is left in my life, but the promise to stay away from her until she's stable may be the last one left. I don't know who exactly I am promising this to.

Or, that was the plan until Paul approaches us in the middle of our rounds. Jared has gotten considerably better at memorizing the lay of the land. The ounce of stress that removes from my shoulders only barely registers.

Feeling Bella cross over the threshold into the reservation was not a feeling I could ignore. The instinct to seek her out almost takes over completely. But Paul Lahote gives me the reason for her visit soon enough.

"Yo, your girl is smoking pot with the idiots out at the gas station," Paul announces. He's smug like he's got something on me. But Paul knows that any action he takes around her without my express approval would be met with severe consequences. Ones I'd revel in creating.

I raise my eyebrows, "Devin and Johnny?"

"Yeah and another one. Seems like their side hustle is really picking up if they got her to come along."

My teeth gnaw together and I growl, "I'll handle it."

"Or just let her have her fun?" Paul chuckles. "Worst that can happen is she gets scammed out of a couple bucks."

"No, the problem is she's getting high."

"I think that's the point, boss," Jared laughs. "Though I wouldn't exactly want Kim doing that when I'm not around."

I ignore the comparison between our imprints that he feels he has the right to make.

"She's still not coping well," I argue. "I have a feeling she wouldn't just stop at weed to get over it." I won't elaborate on what it is. They already know.

"How do you know that?" Paul chides.

Jared answers for me, "Sometimes you just know these things. Like how I know how Kim will react to any grade she gets on a test. Honestly, anything less than 90% is a disaster to her. Babe wants all A's this semester."

"This is different," I spit out at him, harshness unjustified and yet unstoppable. "She's not well."

Jared sighs at me, "Because she needs you, man."

I snarl at him with a full tooth-baring grimace.

"If you really want her avoiding those losers, you're the only person capable of persuading it. She'll respond to you best."

"Doubtful," I counter.

But the tugging feeling that Jared is right hits me in the face the second I'm alone. I see her pained, freckled face once again and I collapse under the weight of her doing anything else to destroy herself.

I can't put off talking to Billy about her any longer.

He isn't surprised when I come.

But he does shake his head at me like my very nature to protect her isn't just another tragedy. He's right.

"Charlie says she's been pretty angry lately. Yelling at Renee on the phone."

Billy snorts at that like he enjoys the thought of his friend's ex-wife finally getting some retribution for her careless actions. Even though their family dynamic shouldn't be my business, I can't stop myself from letting Billy tell out the whole story of Renee and Charlie's divorce. Plenty of betrayal and heartbreak to go around in this world, I suppose.

But hearing about Bella, anything about her at all fills the void inside me for a few moments. I decide not to tell Billy about her new activities in order to eliminate the possibility it could get back to her father in any way.

"Didn't peg Bella for a heavy metal kind-of-gal. The old chief says she turns it up so loud he can feel the hallway shake when he walks by. Reminded me of us when we were that age. Thinkin' we were some kinda rebels or something."

Billy goes off on more tangents of his youth, the days when he wasn't confined to his chair. I do feel sorry for the man, but other than ensuring his protection from whatever demons may lurk in the forest, the responsibility of keeping his health up does not lie upon me. Whenever Jacob phases, I'll yell at the poor kid to get after Billy's bad diet. I don't know much about diabetes, but the sugar that man takes in has to be enough to get a whole classroom of kids rowdy.

My voice cuts him off before I think about finding enough tact to change the subject respectfully, "I'm going to talk to her."

He blinks at me and then breaks into a grin, "Good. That'll be good for you, son."

I shake my head, "It's for her, not me."

There's a sadness, an unquantifiable knowing in his gaze, "One day she'll thank you for it."

I want to tell him that one day I hope to find a way to set her free from this curse, but the buried, selfish part of me fights against that notion. I know what I want, deep inside. I want to see her face and feel her happiness every day I can. The thought of hearing about her goals and successes, even if as mundane as passing an English test, stirs the still-breathing well of hope inside of me. And below all of that, I want some of that happiness to be from being beside me.

When I feel her come back onto the rez a week later I know where to look for her, finally allowing myself to track her location as if it's been hidden inside my nerves this entire time. And the realization of that will bring on another wave of terror to face by myself later. At this moment, however, I allow myself to feel high off her energy. I try not to point out the hypocrisy of preventing her own inebriated escape from the pains of life. The reminder that putting foreign substances into your body to escape reality is a path straight to addiction convinces me well enough that my cause is justified.

There's a pang of self-indulgence in realizing I'm going to confront her shirtless. I don't dwell on the budding excitement of seeing her reaction.

The solid foot I've grown since phasing and the likely additional hundred pounds of muscle I've gained make me a formidable force on our land. It has its moments of use.

It doesn't take the kids long to see me walking towards them for the panic to set in and cause them to leap off their feet. Their eyes grow wide and they shove everything incriminating into their jean pockets immediately.

My improved hearing easily catches their last words: "Shit. The fucking hall monitor is here again."

They all run off in different directions. Bella is not nearly fast enough to react to why it would be a good idea to get out of my line of sight. She looks around at them confused and watches them run off with her mouth agape.

When she looks at me marching towards her, her brown eyes grow large. The buzzing that courses through my body at her remembrance of me might send me into orbit. But I keep my face hard and still to meet her.

She crunches the gravel underneath her feet and holds a joint between her fingers, almost as if contemplating taking another hit or offering it to me.

I clear my throat when I'm within a few feet of her. I hardly dare to get any closer or my instincts to pick her up and escape into the woods would take over.

Bella's eyes flicker over to my hand. She remembers the injury as well. Guilt from having to lie to her tightens my throat. Fortunately, she says nothing. I follow her gaze to my torso and feel just a little bit of pride to see her shock that someone could be as large and muscular as me. But she doesn't look completely impressed as the other girls from Forks have reacted.

Her thin eyebrows furrow, "Where's your shirt?"

"I get hot easily," I answer.

"In November?"

I want to answer all her questions, I do, even the ones she doesn't even know she has. But my purpose for being here settles at the top of my mind.

"Listen, Ms. Swan, my responsibilities for our tribe include keeping the youth safe and clean. I would appreciate it if you didn't indulge those kids anymore."

She looks to where my gaze is settled. "What?"

I pick the joint out of her fingers easily and squash it beneath my feet. Momentarily, I curse my lack of shoes as I feel the ignited end scrape against me. It too will heal quicker than she knows.

"What the hell!" Bella yells at me. "I paid for that!"

"You're better off spending your money on something else."

Bella crosses her arms and glares up at me. Even if I wasn't tied to her, I'd find her stance cute despite her best efforts at conveying anger. The way the corners of her mouth twitch in annoyance and shock sears itself onto my soul.

"I have a right to do whatever I want with my money."

"Not here you don't."

She huffs, "Who the hell do you think you are?"

I find myself unable to answer that, honestly or with a half-truth.

Bella scowls and mutters underneath her breath, "And I'm not Ms. Swan to you."

"Alright," I say, "Bella Swan then. I am asking you to leave and not come back to the reservation if your only intention here is to buy drugs."

A breeze comes in and she shivers, pulling her flannel closer to her chest. I would hold her to keep her warm if she asked me to, but she doesn't know such an option even exists.

Not expecting her response, she takes me by surprise when she laughs bitterly. "I think you should leave me the fuck alone."

Impossible.

"I will stop you if you come back," I respond.

"I'd like to see you try," she snarls and storms off to her red truck.

She makes an effort to slam the door and speed off. It is the furthest thing from intimidating when all I can think about is the possibility of that truck breaking down on the side of the road from pushing its limits too far. Then I remember Jacob Black helped to work on it for her and the pit of jealousy grows in my stomach. I'm already tired of being jealous of vampires.

Even though Bella meant those words sarcastically, I pretend for just a second that she does wish to see me again. But the pull she may feel towards the reservation likely comes off as strange to her, if she acknowledges it at all.

I find Jared sitting on a couple of rocks outside of my house at night. It's his turn to help me with a night shift while Paul sleeps. I could feel his exhaustion ebbing at the back of my mind and I'm not yet cruel enough to make him push through it. Though I don't know how I feel about being alone with Jared whose thoughts never waver from Kim.

We pass a few hours time by running through the forest following Jared's sightings of small game to hunt. He's well past his initial disgust of killing small animals. Neither of us feels particularly compelled to eat any of it right now, however. I take the chance to give another lecture on the importance of not destroying the ecosystem we live in. The word 'ecosystem' unfortunately reminds him of Kim and biology class immediately.

My mind slips and Jared's thoughts on Kim bring me to thinking of Bella. I can feel his intention to tease me, which I absolutely won't have from a sixteen-year-old. I think back on my distaste of the youth of today getting more into pot instead.

"Shouldn't we be watching those kids too?" Jared asks. He knows about the list I have for the next pack members should any threat arise.

"No," I reply. "They're from families who have moved here recently. They likely do not have any Quileute in them. But they are still our responsibility to protect as they are members of the tribe as a whole. We don't get to choose who deserves our services."

"Right," he answers, unconvinced that I do want to protect them at all. He's right again, though I won't tell me why. It feels very selfish to only care about them in relation to Bella.

"It shouldn't matter anyway," I continue. "The Cullens have left and have hopefully taken the last of their destruction with them."

Except for the one thing they were happy to leave broken.

When I catch her again at the gas station, she's giggling with the three teens. I taste something sour in my mouth because of it. They eye me up and down as I approach their group. When I get closer, I feel Bella's heart rate pick up. So, she is at least partially wary of me. Yet for her credit, she carries on the conversation until I get too close to be ignored.

They all turn to stare at me with an annoyed but unsurprised look. They've anticipated my arrival and planned for it. It does cause a bit of pride to swell in me that she's at least intelligent in this regard or not completely uncaring yet.

"What's up?" Devin Albert asks me. His voice is flat, but I can still see them all waiting on edge to hear my response.

"I'm just here to make sure you kids aren't doing anything bad," I answer. I keep my own voice low and make an effort to look downwards as even the tallest of the three doesn't come close to my size.

Bella snorts and shakes her head at me, refusing to make further eye contact. She does roll her eyes, "How old are you anyway?"

"I'm twenty-four." I watch her eyes go wide for a second and then draw back together hurriedly. "So I've got enough experience to know that smoking weed doesn't work out so great in the long term."

Finally, Bella Swan turns to look at me, fiery brown eyes and shimmering red highlights in her hair that she casually brushes over her shoulders. "We're obviously not doing that today, so you can leave now."

Of course. I look down at the object in her hand and realize it's a regular cigarette, not a blunt. The other three don't have anything they're messing around with either.

"That's really not any better for you," I sigh.

She gives me a gloating smile, "Well, I'm eighteen and legally allowed to buy them."

"I can still be against it," I argue.

"Morally, sure," Bella shrugs. "But that's about it."

I look between the four of them. Bella's eyes shine with the threat to push her further. I'm really tempted to try. The dark faces of the other three still sport a mask of indifference hiding apprehensive doubt.

"I really don't trust that you wouldn't share with those who are underage," I counter. It's the best I could improvise.

Bella swallows and then sighs again, "Fine. I was just leaving anyway."

She walks away again but does turn her head to look back at the boys and then briefly, for a half-second, stare at me. I feel myself splinter at her gaze. If only she knew she has the power to tear me apart.

Yet, just as she's about to walk around to her car door, I smell it. The breeze blows her hair and clothes to the left and she looks back again at me in fear. There's a baggy sticking out and flapping with the wind in her back jeans pocket. The smell is definitely that of an illegal substance. Fuck. Though honestly besides feeling anger at the betrayal, I am impressed she almost managed to get away with tricking me.

Before I can react, she's already in her truck and turning the ignition to get away. I'm left standing with a look of absolute rage on my face that manages to crack through the stony exterior of reservation teens.

"You're going to stay away from her," I seethe through my teeth. "If you sell her anything else, I'm going to tell your parents and teachers. If that doesn't work, you'll answer to the whole tribe. Do I make myself clear?"

They look at me with terrified eyes as they nod. Fortunately, they understand the severity of punishments I could crack down on them if I was so inclined. I probably should be getting more involved in stopping their behavior as a whole, but the mark Bella Swan has on my mind only allows me to think of her in this encounter.

"Whatever," the third, unnamed kid says when he's recovered. "She's crazy anyway."

The Johnny Beck kid nods, "Talks to herself all the time."

They give each other sideways glances as if this truth has been apparent from the very beginning. Yet, it never came up when talking to Billy. The news of it hits me in the chest, but I don't react in front of them, not to teens who don't know anything and never will.

"I don't care. Tell her to leave when she comes again. I'll know if you don't."

I run off before they are given any more chances to plead their case. I won't hear it.

For the rest of the day and night, I have Paul and Jared split up the work. Eventually, I realize I should bring them into the construction business I've got. Especially Paul since he doesn't seem keen on remaining in school. There's a tightness in my chest that grows when I remember how I at least got to graduate and get a few years of college. These kids may not get even that.

The house is empty when I enter it. The feeling of missing Emily, but not exactly missing her in the way I used to strikes me each time I come home. And because I'm alone now, the pretense for pushing the guilt away is easily dropped. She was the one who helped me get the side business started. For all her flaws, she did care when I talked about my engineering and construction interests. The story of how I remodeled, almost entirely rebuilt, this house always fascinated her. Unable to stop myself, I wonder if Bella Swan would care also.

I feel the need to distract myself, but my mind would be wholly unable to focus on whatever is airing on my crappy television set. I was never one for this time of entertainment anyway. I would like to rest, but there's anxiety creeping up my arms and legs. The shower seems the best option to bring down my burgeoning panic. I never quite know how to deal with the feelings I never understand.

Normally, I never go for scorching hot water, but I find myself turning the dial all the way. Vaguely in the back of my head, I wonder if this is how Bella prefers her showers. I wonder more philosophically about how many traits of hers will be adopted by me unconsciously. The legends never talked about this. How much of myself do I get to retain? And what of her?

Her face and the many subtle expressions I've seen from it flicker through my vision. I suddenly don't care if the world finds her plain. That face is the most perfect one I've seen in my entire life. The way her brow furrows and the corners of her lips turn up. I resolve to protect that face from any danger in the world, even the dangers caused by her own actions.

I grow hard underneath the shower. I don't imagine anything sexual about Bella Swan, only her beautiful face. It's still enough to make my cock twitch in desperation. She does not know me at all. Though I can feel her presence, crave it, I don't really know her either. The tragedy of my situation isn't lost on me. Jared's happy ending with Kim only makes it hurt all the worse. I'd maybe cry if I didn't feel the pressure to relieve myself.

My hand travels to my shaft and I slowly pump up and down. Her brown eyes haunt me. I focus on imagining her happy. It's the greatest thing I want in the world: to keep her healthy and happy. Even if it's not with me. That thought sends me into the realm of losing control. My grip is too hard to fully enjoy the sensations of this practice. I just want to get it over with, find enough of a release to let myself sleep tonight. I start focusing on the tip of my cock to do so.

The thing that tips me over the edge is imagining myself as a wolf, following behind her throughout the forest, hearing her laughter, and looking back at me as her protector. I yearn for it. I come all over my hand with the whisper of her name on my tongue. I'll wash myself and go to bed. Try to forget that any of this has happened for the night.

More days meld together. Sometimes I feel entirely too tired to push Paul and Jared as much as they should be pushed. If they notice anything lax about my behavior, they don't mention it. I promise them to get started on some small construction work soon. I push off the scheduling issue of this and still completing shifts in the forest.

Though I've been given the mantle of protection of our lands, I often avoid venturing into the shops in town. Yet, the need for new tools to involve both Jared and Paul is unavoidable. I consider wearing a shirt and shoes to my outing but decide against it in case anything shows up. Bella might return anytime.

I'm crossing the street to go into the local hardware shop when I see her.

Leah.

Her long, straight hair blows in the wind and she turns to face me completely from across the way. Her face is the passive one I've come to know. I stared at that expression for many years. Even though I haven't talked to her in nearly two, I remember that face. It's a test. She enjoys keeping a neutral look just to push my anger onto the surface.

This time, however, it's the other way. She's looking to push shame onto me. I know it like I know there's a wolf inside of me, always lurking and waiting for the time to come out.

I don't know how she knows, but I know she knows I've ended my relationship with Emily. I can see the flicker of condemnation in her eyes. She may have hated us for what we did to her, but she's sentencing me to a life of utter self-disgust for leaving another caring and thoughtful woman.

I swallow the pain in my throat and watch her for some moments longer. Out of the corner of my eye, I can almost see her shake her head at me.

Then, I feel something else: Bella has returned to the reservation.

A ball of hope forms in me. She's going to be told she can't buy weed from those kids anymore. In the back of my head, I hope she does get angry enough to find me and yell at me. I'll take any contact with her.

But there's a strange feeling that follows. It does not feel like success on my end. It feels like she's gotten away with something. No. I won't allow this.

I'm in a frenzy, completely gone. I run on instinct only to chase after her. Her presence beats ng within me just as much as my blood does through the valves in my arteries. I feel her slipping away. But I can't phase to catch up with her or risk the whole reservation seeing it. Instead, I pound my feet on the dirt road and pump my arms as fast as the air will allow me.

The anger is threatening to overcome me. Has she outsmarted me again? To her own detriment? I clench my teeth together to prevent myself from screaming. Hazily, I hear someone shouting my name, but I'm too far gone to know if it's an auditory hallucination or not.

It feels so off, so totally wrong. It feels somehow more devastating than Leah's continued hatred of me, made worse by knowing it's entirely justified. It feels like Bella slipping out of my grasp even though I've barely gotten close to her. I go faster than my body has gone before. It still isn't enough.

"Sam!" Jared's watery voice reaches my ears but I ignore it.

When I finally make it to the gas station I see her pull out of the driveway. She looks at me from the driver's side of her red truck. Her eyes narrow and then she's gone, barreling down the road faster than the car should allow.

"Fuck!" I hiss.

I see Devin, Johnny, and the third one laughing by the side of the service store, kicking glass bottles against the curb. A whole string of curses about them floods my mind.

They see me come and immediately go wide-eyed and terrified when they recognize I'm coming directly for them and won't let them get away.

"What did you do?!" I yell at them. "What did you give her?!"

Johnny shakes his head, brave enough to face me, "Nothing, man. Like you said."

Devin and the third one laugh, "But you didn't say we couldn't give her the name of another supplier in Forks."

I reach up to my head and pull at my hair, hard. "Are you fucking kidding me!"

They shrug, "You didn't say we couldn't do that."

"I'm getting your parents involved and the school. You will answer for this."

I shake my finger at them and storm off. I feel almost angry enough to phase right here and now. My control wavers considerably.

"Hey, that's not fair!" They begin to shout.

"Come on, man!"

"She's a freak anyway!"

Get out of my head. Get out of my head!

Their ill opinion of the most beautiful woman I know only adds to my rage. I can't be around them when I'm like this. It would be the exact opposite of being a protector of the land.

I'm about to take off my shorts and let the beast out when Jared's voice rings through the atmosphere again. Beyond irritating since I really want to bite into something now and tear it apart.

"Sam, something's going on!"

I curse back, "Something is always going on."

Jared insists on following me. Damn my short-sightedness and not saving a part of the forest for myself. It would be useful now to run off somewhere and scare him into getting lost if he keeps trailing me.

"It's Old Quil! He says it's really important!"

"Fine! Fucking fine. I'll deal with this nonsense." I turn on my heel and go the opposite direction to Billy's house. It's only a hunch that that's where they'll be, but I'm typically right with these things. It's tempting to hit against Jared's shoulder as I pass him, but I remember his young age and it's just enough to not be violent right now.

We march across the forest floor and I feel Jared slightly struggle to catch up. Somehow he manages a burst of energy and reaches my position. I look forward to the scenery to avoid his eye contact attempts. I know what he's trying to say. 'Do you want to talk about it?' I finally look back and muster all the muscles in my face to go completely rigid and say 'No and if you try, there'll be consequences.'

He gets the picture and moves behind me once again. I'm thankful we're not in our wolf forms now or I'd hear his exact thoughts on the issue.

Reaching Billy Black's house doesn't take long and I'm soon confirmed in my suspicion that this is where everyone else is. Harry's blue car is out front, likely the one that picked up Old Quil and took him here. And if this is the meeting place, Billy better have taken care of Jacob so he does not overhear what he hasn't inherited.

I'm not exactly smooth when I throw open the Black family door. Billy, Harry, Old Quil, and Paul all look up at me in momentary shock seeing my angry face. Then their grim expressions return.

"What's going on?" I ask, with the softest voice I can muster when all I really want to do is shout.

Paul looks towards the ground and shakes his head. Jared takes his place behind me and to the right.

The three tribal elders only purse their lips.

I swear if this drags on any longer…

"The Call boy," Old Quil's frail voice echoes throughout the house. "His time is almost upon us."

All the rage inside me freezes. It is replaced with terror. I think to Bella and my instinct to run to her has never been greater. I wish to hold her, make sure she's still okay, and I wish she'd want to do the same for me.

I find Paul's eyes, the same emotion gathering inside them.

"Embry is going to phase?" Jared's voice finally cuts through the tension. There's a wobble to it so Jared himself must recognize the news of a new member is not good this time. If it ever was...

No one answers him. If more boys are going to phase, then that can only mean one thing.

The threat of the Cold Ones is still out there.

A/N: Dun dun dun! But honestly where else does a New Moon/Eclipse fix-it story go? Though the plot will undoubtedly be similar to Meyer and a lot of other fics, I'm still hoping to have enough tricks up my sleeve to make it a bit different. And where that might not be possible, hopefully I can better explore the emotion and tragedy of the situation in my words. But next chapter will be more plot heavy for Bella!

Also, finally caught to to where I'm at on the Archive! I am diligently working on the sixth chapter and hope to have that done in a few days. Otherwise, frequency of updates will slow, hopefully I can manage once a week though!

Thanks for reading!