Chapter Two: No Santa Paws but what you make.

A/N: About ¼ of this chapter was done on a smartphone. My hard drive died on me, so I finished on my phone while I waited to have my computer fixed.

This may go four chapters after all. I felt the need to give the story a bit of tension and that will occur in the next chapter. Originally, this story had no stakes and I found that kind of boring.

There was a moment of tense silence in the room. Judy was furious at Nick for what he just said, "Are you insane?! You just told an eight-year-old boy who lost his parents four months ago that there is no Santa Paws… two days before Christmas!"

Nick defended himself. "Now, hold on. I didn't say there wasn't a Santa Paws. I said he wasn't real."

"What's the difference?!"

Nick looked over at Patch who was very stunned and confused. "You see, Jigsaw, Santa is like pro-wrestling or Mew-Anon. He's made up."

Stu looked horrified. "Pro-wrestling is fake?!"

"Well…. Yes. That was established a long time ago. There was a zombie fighting a clown at the last pay-per-view. You didn't think that was staged?!"

"I thought they just gave a colorful performance before fighting each other."

"Look. The pro-wrestling analogy works here. Because you, Patch, like us, are on the inside now. You're in on a secret only grown-ups know. And now, you can help make Santa come to life.:

Patch looked confused. "I don't get it."

"When I was your age, I was having my doubts about Santa Paws. My mom and dad knew it too. But on Christmas morning, I woke up and ran down to the living room to find wet bootprints stained with soot coming from our chimney and leading out the door. I believed in Sant Paws again. When I got older, my Mom told me how dad staged the whole thing. Heh! She was mad at him because she couldn't get the stain of soot out of the carpet for weeks. But back at that time, that moment was magical. I appreciated my father for what he had done. Pro-wrestling is like that. I know its outcome is predetermined, but those athletes still get injured, and I appreciate the talent they put into it. In a way, they make it real."

"So why ruin it for me?! N-Not that I didn't know Santa was a fake."

"Because I see how you are around your sisters. You love them very much. You're selfless with them. I'm sure you'd want to give them the best Christmas ever. So I want you to help make Christmas magical for them."

"Well, yeah. I'd love to. But what can we do?"

"Look, Jiggy…"

"Jiggy is stupid! Jigsaw is better."

"Okay, Jigsaw. Yes, Santa isn't real, but he does exist. In you. In me. In all of us. We can make Santa happen! Together, we'll make sure those kits WILL have something to open on Christmas!"

"How?!"

"Well… When I was a kid, there were times my mom and dad were too poor to give me a great Christmas. So what they'd do instead of giving me a few gifts is give me one gift and one stocking. The stocking was full of cheap, $1 toys and coloring books, and candies. They wrapped everything individually so it took me a long time to go through the whole stocking. There was only about six bucks worth of stuff in there, but it was fun. I completely forgot that I only got one gift. Maybe we can do that?"

Stu rubbed his chin. "Well… That's still gonna come out to a lot."

"What's the age that they usually stop believing in Santa Paws?"

"Around twelve."

"Twelve and under it is. How many does that narrow it to?"

"Hmmm… 36."

Patch spoke up. "The dollar store sells cheap stockings for a buck."

"Great input, Co-Santa! So… We'll get, let's say… $10 worth of items in each stocking. That's $396 total."

Stu protested. "Hey! I'm not made of money!"

Judy volunteered. "Nick and I will pitch in, dad."

Nick looked to Patch. "Jigsaw, you know your siblings and cousins better than us. Do you know what they like?"

"Sure!" said Patch.

"Good! You can help me shop tomorrow."

"But… If we're gonna make Santa real, don't we need a Santa Paws?"

Nick and Judy smiled at one another. "We know a guy."

"Cool!"

"Patch, I want you to stay here. We're going to bring all of the kits 12 and under in here, then you and I are going to break the big news that Santa Paws will show up here on Christmas!"

"Okay. But are you sure we can pull this off?"

"Positive! While they're all in here, Stu and Judy will explain everything that's going on to the older bunnies."

Judy sighed. "They're not gonna be happy being left out."

"We'll compromise. Stu can spoil what they're getting. Will that work Stu?... Stu?"

Stu was sobbing. He was still thinking about pro-wrestling. "It's still real to me, dammit!"

"Oh! I know of an elf too! Finnick has an old elf costume from back when we used to sca-errr… do charity work. Okay, Co-Santas! Let's make this happen!"

Patch was pumped. "YEAH! This is gonna be awesome! Now that I know the secret, I feel like an adult."

Judy kissed Nick on the cheek, "You really turned him around, Slick."

"Aww. Thanks, fluff. Now, let's go into detail and get our stories straight. We don't want any kits confused. Operation: Santa Paws is a go!"

They had their plan in place. Stu and Judy headed out of the room and back into the living room while Nick stayed with Patch. Stu addressed the family. "Okay! We've got an announcement to make. All kits 12 and under, go into Nick's room and he'll tell you the big news. I'll explain to the rest of you once they're inside."

The little bunnies all went inside the room. Stu then explained to the others. "Okay. We want to make Christmas magical for the little ones who still believe in Santa Paws."

One of Stu's kids stood up. "Wait… Santa Paws isn't real?!"

"Steve, you're 16. Grow the hell up."

Judy took over the conversation. "So basically, we are getting the kids that are 12 and under a stocking each with about ten dollars worth of gifts. Nick and I are contributing to that. Nick and I along with Mom and Dad will go shopping for the kits tomorrow."

Some of the younger bunnies were upset at the news. "Wait a minute! I'm 13! That's not fair!"

Stu explained. "We're trying to make the best out of a bad situation for the little ones. Now we'll still be having a party here on Christmas eve, but since there are no presents for you guys until after Christmas, I figured we'd tell you what you're getting in advance.:

Bonnie was concerned. "I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Nonsense! Does everyone want to hear what they're getting?!"

To Bonnie's surprise, the bunnies cheered.

Stu smiled. "Good! Now, Bonnie still has the list of gifts you wanted, and we managed to get everything on that list!" Stu took the list and read it out loud. "Carl, you wanted season three of Game of Bones. You got it! Sara, you wanted that neck massager that was shaped like a carrot. You got it. Carol's got a neck massager too. A neck massager for Cindy…"

Bonnie interrupted. "Stu, dear. Maybe you should stop."

"Nonsense! They said they wanted to hear what they got! Maggie got those books on tape. Joseph got two music CDs. Pam got a Harry Pottamus magical flying broom with 'three levels of vibrating fun'?! You're 19 now, Pam. Aren't you a little old for Harry Pottamus?!"

Pam was embarrassed and hiding her face. "I'm… a fan of the franchise!"

"Okay then. Diane got a neck massager. So did Jamie and Sandy. Why is everyone getting neck massagers?!"

Bonnie was blushing. "Get a clue, Stu!"

"Come to think of it, you have one hidden in your dresser drawer honey! I think I know what's going on now. You all have chronic neck pain! Must be from Bonnie's side of the family because none of mine have that."

"Uhhh… Yeah, Stu. Yeah. That's it. Please stop reading the list."

"Alright, Bon-Bon. I guess it's just our daughters getting chronic neck pain. Nope! Wait. Gary's getting a neck massager too."

"Congrats, Stu. You just outed Gary."

Meanwhile…

The kits came into the room where Nick and Patch were. Patch's sisters ran up to him.

"Are you okay?!"

"Are you still upset?"

"You're not angry at us, are you?"

Patch was surprised. "What? No! Of course not! I was just mad at the situation. But now, we got good news! Santa Paws is coming to see us and he's gonna give us all stockings!"

The little bunnies were all cheered and happy. All but Eugine, the 5-year-old skeptic. "How did you get a hold of Santa Paws?"

"I called him," said Nick. "As a police officer, Santa has to get clearance before he and his elves go into people's homes. Otherwise, it's trespassing."

"What time is he showing up?"

"Midnight."

"Oh, come on! He'd just be starting!"

"Are you forgetting all of the different time zones?! Besides, he's just making a pit stop."

"So why is he only giving us stockings instead of our gifts?"

"Because he saves time by delivering some gifts early and having your parents hide them."

"That makes too much sense. I KNEW they were in cahoots!"

"You're awfully inquisitive for a young bunny. How old are you?"

"Five."

"VERY inquisitive for your age. Anyway, he'll be showing up for a quick visit, and may have an elf with him as well! So, don't you worry, kids, this will still be a merry Christmas!"

All the kids seemed happy with the explanation and left the room. After they emptied out, Patch had a question. "Are you sure this Santa of yours will arrive? You haven't called him yet."

"Oh, trust me. Ben lives for this kind of stuff. He'll be there. The elf is a maybe."

"Hey, um… Mr. Wilde?... Thanks. My sisters mean everything to me and this will make them very happy."

Nick smiled back at the boy. "You're welcome, Jigsaw. Call me Nick."

"Okay, uncle Nick."

"Aww! 'Uncle Nick'. I like that!"

Everyone went into the living room and Nick talked to Judy. "So how'd it go?"

"They accepted it, but Dad telling everyone their gifts was a bad idea. How about you?"

"The kids... kits? Which is more proper?"

"Either's fine."

"Anyway, they seem excited. Patch and I really sold it well."

"Good. Now let's hope Clawhauser and Finnick don't bail out on us."

Stu approached them. "Now that that's all settled, we need to deal with the sleeping arrangements. Now, you're keeping both bedroom doors open! I don't want any hanky-panky going on around this house."

Nick tried to reassure Judy's dad. "I assure you, sir there will be no hanky and/or panky of any kind. In fact, you, Bonnie, and the little kits can take my bed."

"What? Are you sure?!"

"I'm sure. It's big enough for about 20 little bunnies to sleep on. The older ones can sleep on the floor, while Judy and I take the couch. Deal?"

"Sounds great! Thanks a lot, Nick!"

All the bunnies were in bed or were on the floor in their sleeping bags. Nick carefully tip-toed around them and dimmed all of the lights. On the way to the couch, he was startled when Valerie grabbed his ankle.

"You just watch yourself! Stay away from Patch and the girls. You're a bad influence!"

Judy saw this from the couch and responded. "Val, you got ten seconds to let go of Nick's leg or you'll be missing an arm!"

She let go of Nick and the fox hurried over and climbed onto the couch. Both he and Judy were wearing the old pajamas that they fished out of storage."

"I better put my back against the back of the couch," said Nick. "Don't wanna roll off and squash a few bunnies."

Judy adjusted herself so she was closer to the edge of the couch. With Nick's weight, she leaned inward and they laid on their sides facing each other. "Thank you so much, Nick. You've been an absolute saint about all of this."

"Thanks, Fluff. I'm just sorry we didn't get a chance to shower."

"I know. We both have a bit of a musky odor going on."

"You know what's worse? It's driving me wild."

Judy smiled. "Me too. At least you have work in the morning and can shower there."

"Oh, I'm not going in tomorrow. Stu needs me to help shop for the little ones."

"How are you going to get tomorrow off?! You've already used the RABID-19 excuse three times! He won't fall for that a fourth time!"

"I've got my ways fluff. Let's just get some rest."

The next morning…

Bogo was on the phone with Nick. "Explosive Diarrhea?!"

"Y-Yes, sir! HNNGH!"

"PBBBBRRT!"

SPLASH!

Bogo seemed concerned. "That sounds really bad."

"Oh it is, sir. It is. Judy and I got some Christmas tamales from a street vendor and I guess they weren't as fresh as we thought."

As Nick grunted once more, he pointed at Patch standing behind him. That was the queue for the little bunny to make fart noises with his paws and for his sisters, who were standing on the lip of the toilet seat, to pour water from a pitcher into the toilet bowl. Thus creating the sound effect needed to convince Bogo. The little bunnies were having a hard time not giggling.

"HNNNGH!"

"PBBBRRRT!"

SPLASH!

"Well… I guess I have no choice but to let you off today. But since we're short-pawed, you'll be doing Wolford's shift tomorrow night. Understood?"

"Yes sir. And have a Merry Christmas."

He hung up the phone and high-foured the kits. "Great job guys!"

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "Will you hurry up in there?! Other people have to go!"

Nick opened the door to see a grumpy Stu. "'Bout time! The little one's gotta go."

"Well, okay. But don't take too long. I still need to shower."

"Get in line."

Nick looked around Stu only to find a line for the bathroom a mile long. "Sweet Christmas!" It wrapped around from the bathroom to the kitchen to the living room all the way to his bedroom.

He was very upset until he smelled a heavenly aroma. "Is that?..."

Bonnie saw him and waved him over. "Blueberry pancakes."

"My favorite!"

"Well, we're a guest in your house, you had the pancake mix, so it seemed only fair. Don't quite have enough for you and all of the young'ns. If you can get some more, I'll make you an extra batc-"

Before she could finish, Nick roared into his room and changed, then roared outside. Bonnie chuckled. "Well! That got his attention!"

Meanwhile, Judy was waiting in line to use the restroom, when she saw one of her nieces sniffling and sobbing. The kit was around her sisters. "Hold my place in line," she said to her older brother behind her. She walked over to the grey bunny. It was Argentina. "Hey, Tina. Is everything okay?"

"No," she sniffled. "I couldn't hold it."

Judy looked down to see a dark patch going down Argentina's pants. Judy gave her a reassuring smile. "It happens to all of us." She took the bunny's paw. "Come on. I'll change you." She then shouted to her mother. "Mom! Where's the bag of clothes you brought?"

"In your room!" Bonnie shouted back.

Judy looked over at Argentina's sisters. "I'll bring her right back. Okay?"

They walked into Judy's room and she shooed some bunnies that were playing in there and closed the door. Judy then looked through her mother's large duffle bag. "She's got everyone's clothes in zip-lock bags with their names on it. Smart. Here we are! Argentina!"

"Everyone calls me 'Tina'," the bunny replied.

"I know. Okay. Got some wipes too."

Tina felt ashamed. "I'm ashamed. Aunt Valerie says I need to hold it in better."

"I wish she'd hold in her mouth so all that bullcrap didn't come out."

Tina giggled.

"Sorry. I shouldn't use language like that around you. There's nothing to be ashamed of, Tina, we're girls. Peeing ourselves just kind of comes with the territory. I've peed myself before."

"You've wet your pants too?!"

Judy explained more as she started to change her. "Yup. Happened in the squad car a few months back. We were on stakeout duty and I had to go really bad, but we couldn't leave the scene. Nick saw me squirming and asked me if it was really bad. I said 'yes'. He went to the trunk and got out a stack of newspapers. He got back in the car, lifted me up, and put the newspapers under me. The front page was a big photo of mayor Lionheart and it was about his re-election. He said to me 'Just go. If anyone asks, you can say you were making a political statement'. So, I went. He never said another word to me about it and made sure I felt no shame. When we got back to the station, I ran to the locker room. Nick told the guys that he accidentally spilled coffee on my lap."

Argentina liked the story. "Boy. Nick's a really sweet guy, isn't he?"

Judy smiled back. "Yea. He's the best. Well, I got you all changed. Let's keep that story between us okay?"

"Okay! Thanks, Aunt Judy!"

As they were about to leave, Judy heard one of her brothers outside the door. "Hey everyone! Judy peed her pants in the squad car!"

Judy let out a big sigh. "Well, I guess you don't have to keep it secret after all." She opened the door and chased her brother. "Dangit, Carl! I'm gonna kill you! Get over here!"

Meanwhile…

Nick was at the corner grocers picking up blueberries and pancake batter. He was on the phone with Finnick. "C'mon, Finn! It's gonna be fun!"

"Wearing a green leotard around a bunch of snot-nosed baby bunnies is not my idea of fun, Nick!"

"But think of the kids! They'll be so disappointed!"

"Not my kids. Not my problem. Now, you can come over and take that lame suit from me, but I'm gonna be having a merry Christmas at the Fermented Fox bar and grill."

"SIGH! Fine. Maybe I can find someone else to wear it. I'll be by there later, Finn."

"Ciao."

Finn hung up and Nick called another friend. "Okay, I might not have an elf, But hopefully, I still have a Santa." He dialed a phone number. "Clawhauser?"

"Oh, hey, Nick! Bogo was just talking about you. Explosive diarrhea, hunh?"

"Uhh… Yeah. Hey, Ben. What are you doing for Christmas?"

"Oh, you know? Hanging out with the guys, going to a few parties. That kind of stuff."

"Dang! That's a shame. I really need someone to dress up as Santa for…"

"I'll do it!"

"Really?!"

"You had me at 'dress up as Santa'. I love to play as Father Christmas!"

"Great! But what about those parties you talked about?"

"I lied. I was just going to sit at home, drinking egg-nog and listening to Gazelle's Christmas album."

"Anyway, Judy's family is at my apartment because Bunnyburrow is snowed in. The kits will have no presents at Christmas, so I'm going to get them stockings full of candy and small toys. I'd like Santa to give them the stockings."

Clawhauser was weeping. "That's so wonderful! What kind of outfit would you like? I've go the stand classic, a fancy, velvet one with extra buttons and studs, or.."

"Just a standard Santa suit will be fine, Ben. I can't thank you enough."

"You're welcome! And don't you worry about a thing, Nick. I'll be there with jingle bells on!"

"Thanks so much again, Ben. This will really make those bunnies happy. I gotta go. I have to do some shopping."

"While you're sick? That's gotta be tough."

"Uhhh… Yeah. Anyway, I'll see you tonight Ben."

Nick hung up and continued grocery shopping so Bonnie would cook him more pancakes. Meanwhile, Clawhauser hung up just as Bogo appeared. "Hey, chief!"

"Clawhauser. Who was that on the phone?"

"Officer Wilde. He wants me to be Santa for Judy's family tonight."

"I thought he was sick?!"

"He said he still was."

Bogo didn't fully believe that. "Hmmm… Anyway, I have some errands to run. Higgins will be in charge until I come back."

"You got it, chief!"

"I have some last-minute Christmas shopping to do and if I see Wilde around, he won't get a lump of coal In his stocking, he'll get a pink slip!"