Chapter Four: Santa's Little Hellspawn

A/N: Did I say I would be done in four chapters? I meant five.

It was a little unintentional, but I was surprised by how much of the movie cast I have in this story. It's almost done. Trust me. Fingers crossed, it will be done by Christmas.

Duke Weaselton was not having a good day. His purse snatching got the attention of his least favorite bunny, Judy Hopps. With the purse clutched tightly in his paws, he ran as fast as he could down narrow alleys and through city streets. Little Rodentia was too far for him to try and lose her there. He'd just have to outrace her.

"Stop, Duke!" Judy shouted. "That's my purse! It has…"

"Whatever it has, it's mine now, Flatfoot!" Duke shouted back. He raised the purse above his head. "No matter what, you ain't gettin' this pu-"

The purse got hooked onto the rear-view mirror of a moving bus and out of Duke's clutches. "Aww, come on!" Duke moaned as he raced for the bus.

Judy was almost caught up to him. "You don't understand! My niece is inside the purse!"

"WHAT?!" Duke shouted back. "What's she doing in a purse?!"

"It's a long story! Just help me catch that bus!"

"I just want it known that this was a purse-snatchin' and not a kidnappin'!"

"I make a note of that when I arrest you!"

Meanwhile…

"You're fired!" shouted Bogo.

Nick was stunned "For what?! Calling in sick?!"

"On Christmas eve?! Yes! Do you know how many cops would love to have this day off, and here you are, galavanting around after pretending to be sick?!"

"And what about you?!" asked Stu.

"What about me?"

Nick tried to stop him. "Stu, please! I got…"

Stu cut him off. "Hush, son! I've got this. You're the chief of police. It's only 10:30 in the morning. Why are you not at your office?!"

Bogo was taken back by surprise. He started stuttering. "W-Well, I-I…"

"I'd ask if you were off the clock, but you're salary, aren't you? Are you counting this as your lunch?!"

"Well, no. I just needed some time to…"

"To what?! Christmas shop while being paid on my hard-earned tax dollars?! Now, listen here! Nick may have tricked you, but he's a good man! I'm officer Judy Hopps's father! My family of over 80 bunnies showed up at his home last night because of the snowstorm in Bunnyburrow. Instead of kicking us out, he put my family ahead of himself and is helping my children and grandchildren have the merriest Christmas they can while stuck away from home! If you so much as punish him in any way, I'll make sure the mayor knows you've been shirking your duties!"

Bogo backed off. "Okay, sir! Okay! Wilde. I expect you at 5 pm sharp tomorrow. Don't be late."

"No, sir," Nick replied.

"Also… Do you have any idea what Clawhauser likes? He has every Gazelle merchandise I can think of which makes him hard to shop for. I don't want to disappoint him. He's my best friend."

Nick, Stu, and Patch all went "AWWW!"

"Quiet! I'm having trouble finding what to get him. I'd just give him money, but that's so… impersonal."

"How about a gift card for Dingo Donuts?!"

"Perfect! Thanks, Wilde. And merry Christmas to you three."

"Merry Christmas," Nick replied back as Bogo walked away. Once he was out of sight, Nick hugged Stu. "Pops! You're brilliant!"

Stu was being crushed by Nick's arms. "Okay! Okay! Back off me!"

It was then that Bonnie ran up to them. "Stu! Nick! Thank goodness you're here! It's the worst!"

"What's wrong?!" asked Stu.

"Judy's purse has been stolen by a weasel! She's chasing after him now!"

"I feel sorry for the weasel," Nick replied. "Wouldn't be surprised if it was our old pal, Duke."

"It's not just her purse! Ebony snuck inside her purse too!"

"WHAT?!"

Patch was horrified. "My sister! We have to get her back!"

Nick jumped into action. "You guys stay here! I'll nab Bogo and we'll… umm… guys?"

"What?!" Bonnie shouted. "There's no time for questions!"

Nick pointed behind Bonnie. There, was Ebony in a dress that didn't fit her. "How do I look, grandma? I'm pretty!"

Bonnie ran and snatched her up. "Ebony! I was so worried!"

Patch jumped out of the cart and hugged his sister close. "You stupid jerk! You scared me!"

"I'm sorry," Eboy said. "I snuck out of the purse when grandma wasn't looking."

"Where was Judy?" Nick asked.

Bonnie was embarrassed. "She went to the bathroom and I was supposed to watch her and the purses. I guess I had my eye off of them for too long."

Nick tried to calm them both. "Look, Duke's no threat to Judy. She's caught him at least ten times this year. He's just a lowly pickpocket. You guys go back to shopping and I'll catch Bogo so he can have my fellow officers on the lookout."

This calmed Bonnie's nerves a bit. "Well…. Okay. But hurry and call the police!"

"I'm on it!" Nick took off to find Bogo before he left.

Ebony tugged on her grandmother. "Can I have the dress?"

"No!" Bonnie said sharply. "Take that silly thing off!"

"No fair! Uncle Nick gets to wear a dress and I don't!"

Stu explained. "Nick was trying to hide from his boss. Also, he rocks that thing!"

Meanwhile…

Duke and Judy were in pursuit of the bus with Judy's purse still hanging off the mirror. Judy was still unaware that Ebony was safe. "We have to nab that purse before something happens to my niece!"

Duke was panting as he was running. "I'll make ya a deal, toots. I'll free da kid if you let me keep 'da money from your purse!"

"Save Ebony and I might not arrest you!"

"Fair deal! It's Christmas eve! Why is 'da traffic so dang light?!"

The bus slowed down enough for Duke to leap and grab onto the purse. "Got it!" His feet were dangling off the side enough for Judy to leap up and grab his feet. "YEOW! Hey! Watch it, will ya?!"

"Shut up! You're not getting away with my purse!"

What Duke and Judy didn't know was that the bus they were on was a tour bus and the driver was on a tight schedule. The doe guide standing in the middle of the bus was addressing the passengers. "We're sorry for the speediness of this tour, but due to the holiday season, we are on a tight schedule."

"Turn's coming up!" said the boar driver. "Hold on!"

They made a sharp turn and Judy was almost flying horizontally off Duke's knees. "WOOOAH!" They said simultaneously. Judy clamored to climb up Duke and pulled at his pants. "Don't!" Duke screamed, but it was too late. His pants dropped to his knees with Judy still hanging on.

Judy screamed. "AAH!" Her survival instincts kicked in and she quickly climbed up over Duke, yanking and pulling at him as she did so.

"YEOW!" Duke said. "Watch what yer yankin' on!"

"Oh, don/t be such a baby!" Judy shouted. "All I did was yank on your tail!"

"That wasn't my tail!"

"What?!" Judy looked down. "Eww! EWW! Why are you not wearing underpants?!"

"Like I can afford such fancy things! My belt is a rope!"

Meanwhile, the guide was addressing the tourists. "On your left, you can see Saharah Square. Home of the world's largest palm tree! On the right, you can see the anatomy of a weasel!"

Everyone was looking at Duke's pantsless body on the other side of the window. Duke was getting upset. "Why don't you take a picture?! It'll last longer?!" They all whipped out their smartphones. "I was kidding! Don't take pictures! DON'T TAKE PICTURES!"

Judy climbed to the top of the bus, stepping on Duke's head along the way. Judy then pulled the purse up with one paw and Duke with the other. They were finally on top and rested for a moment. "Please pull up your pants." Judy pleaded.

Duke quickly obliged. "Dat's all yer fault, y'know?"

"I wouldn't have yanked your pants down and accidentally grabbed your… front tail, if you hadn't stolen my purse in the first place!"

"I would'a dropped 'da purse if 'dere wasn't a kid inside. I'm smart enough not 'ta let you chase me. Speakin' of, check on 'da kid. Will ya?!"

"Ebony! I almost forgot!" She quickly opened the purse. "Ebony! Are you… She's not in here." She grabbed Duke by the collar. "Where is she?!"

"I dunno! 'Da purse was zipped up the entire time!"

The bus was now under the bridge where the bullet train passes over. Judy was still talking to Duke. "She must have gotten out of the purse when I went to the bathroom. The little.."

Duke slammed Judy down hard on the roof of the bus. "HEY!" Judy shouted. "What the?!" She saw the huge, metal bar pass two inches from them.

"Gotta watch yerself." Duke replied. "It's a low bridge here."

Judy was shaken. "Th-thanks. You saved my life."

Duke was depressed. "Who cares? I'm goin' 'ta jail and my nephew will keep thinkin' I'm a bum."

"Your… nephew?"

"Dave. He's 'da only one in our family who'll still talk to me. I needed some money to buy him somethin'... anythin' fer Christmas. Now, I'll just spend another Christmas eve in jail. Guess it's better 'dan sittin' alone like last year. Eatin' a can of hash as my Christmas meal."

Judy saw her phone ring. It was Bogo. "Hi, sir…. Yes. I'm okay. I got my purse back…. The weasel?... " Judy looked over at Duke. "He… got away. Yeah. At least I got my purse back. Thank you. No. I'd call off the search. It's Christmas and I got my purse back. I don't want to spend it filling out forms…. Merry Christmas to you too sir."

Duke didn't care. "I appreciate 'da sentiment, Cottontail. But you ain't doin' me no favors. I'm just gonna spend.."

Judy shushed him. "Hold on.." They ducked under another bar as Judy got on the phone again. "Hi, Mom. Don't freak out! I'm fine! I got my purse back. Is Ebony with you?"

Duke watched as Judy laid on the roof and breathed a sigh of relief. Tears ran down her cheeks. "Thank God!... Yes. I'm sure I'm okay. I'll meet you guys back at the store soon. Can I speak to Nick?"

The bus stopped. Judy and Duke climbed down. Duke went to walk away, but Judy grabbed his arm. "What gives?!" he asked.

"Just give me a moment." She got on the phone with Nick. "Nick?... Yeah. I'm fine. Did you get that elf costume from Finnick? Yeah? You told me once it fit loosely on him. Would it fit someone about my size or taller?... Good. We're going to have a guest with us tonight. I found someone who can help. I'll explain when I see you…. Love you too. Bye!"

Judy put the phone back in her purse and pulled out a pair of pawcuffs. Putting them on Duke. "What gives?!" He asked.

"I… I know you only took the purse because you're flat broke and… you did save my life back there. So… You are still under arrest, BUT… you will serve your time in one night."

"Doin' what, exactly?"

"Helping me wrap gifts, and basically being Santa's little helper. It ends with a nice, big, Christmas meal with my family. I'll even buy you a gift card for your nephew, okay?"

"I… I stole your purse. Why are you doin' this?"

Judy smiled at him. "Deep down, I think there's a good person inside you. You were concerned more about the child that was supposed to be inside the purse than the money and you did save my life. Besides, no one should spend Christmas alone."

Duke whipped a tear from his cheek. "SNIFF! Thanks, toots. But why the cuffs?"

"It will make my parents feel more at ease since I have to explain to them that we're having a pickpocket over for Christmas."

"Okay. One more question. What's up with 'da pink lace on 'da cuffs?"

Judy blushed. "They're… not my standard issue."

A while later…

"You… WHAT?!" Bonnie exclaimed with anger.

"I arrested Duke and he's my prisoner for the day. He's going to help us with gift wrapping and he'll be the elf tonight!"

Duke was still in pawcuffs. "As long as I get somethin' 'ta eat, I'm good."

Bonnie eyed him up and down. "Are you sure he's not a threat?"

Duke tried to reassure her. "Trust me, lady. I'm more scared of yer daughter 'dan she is of me."

"Well. You can't be seen like that."

"What wrong with 'da way I'm dressed?"

"A wife-beater with some shorts with a rope for a belt?!"

"And he's going commando," Judy added. "I learned that the hard way."

Bonnie pulled Duke by the arm. "I can't have company see you like this. Let's get you some decent clothes."

Meanwhile, Judy saw the others coming back to the clothing department. Stu and Nick looked like they'd been in a fight. "Sweet cheese and… what happened to you guys?!"

"They just put out a bunch of Pokemammal cards and we had to fight a bunch of middle-aged nerds," said Nick with a black eye and a missing fang.

"It was horrible!" said Stu. The rabbit had a small chunk of his ear missing. "I saw one man punch an old lady just to grab a few packs! One kid bit a guy's leg so hard, he threw the packs everywhere and screamed for mercy!"

"That was me!" said Ebony. "I've tasted blood."

Patch hugged his sister. "I'm so proud of you, sis! Way to fight for our family!"

Judy couldn't believe it. "All that for some cards?!"

Stu explained. "Hey, now. This is Pokemammal! You know how popular these things are with some of your siblings and the grandkids. They'll make perfect stocking stuffers! Where's your mother?"

"Getting Duke some new clothes."

"She's alone with that purse-snatching weasel?!"

Nick had to chuckle. "I can't believe you invited him after he tried to rob you."

"Well, the guy has nothing, which is why he has nothing to lose when he steals. Maybe this kind of gesture can put him on the right path. While mom is busy with Duke, why don't we see if we can get some of these little things wrapped? There's a charity Christmas wrapping going on outside."

"Are you sure Bonnie will be okay with that guy?" Stu asked nervously.

"I don't think she'll hurt him."

They went outside to where the gift wrapping was and there was a line that stretched around the store. "This is going to take forever!" said Judy.

"Not if the line moves fast enough," Nick replied. "Thanks again for gifting me this thick jacket for Christmas, Stu."

"You're welcome," said Stu. "After all, you can't go around with that thin, Hawaiian shirt all the time."

"It's my trademark look. I will say, I like the inner pockets. I'm not the only one it's keeping warm." Nick then walked up to Judy. "Psst! Hey, lady!"

"What are you doing, Nick?"

He opened the jacket revealing Patcha and Ebony inside two of the pockets. "Wanna buy a bunny?"

"Tee-Hee! Knock it off!"

"I got them off the back of a truck. Name your price."

Judy rubbed the two bunny's cheeks. "I can't. They're too priceless."

Ebony whined. "I'm cold, daddy. Close the jacket. I-I mean, uncle Nick! Sorry."

Nick quickly zipped up the jacket. "O-Oh! Sure." His heart melted at her calling him "Daddy".

They waited another ten minutes and the line never moved. "This is insane!" Judy grumbled. "Nick, go to the front of the line and see what's the hold-up."

Nick left and headed over to near the front of the line to see who was wrapping. "Well, this makes a lot more sense now."

He watched as Priscilla and Flash Slothmore were wrapping gifts. Flash was folding wrapping on a box. With his other claws, he slowly pulled two inches of tape from the dispenser and tagged the tiny piece of tape over the lip of the folded wrapping.

"Will you hurry up?!" shouted the angry customer in line.

Flash stopped and slowly looked up at the customer. "I… am going… as fast…as … I…"

"Can?"

"Possibly… can… go…. Please… be…patient."

Nick approached the side of the table. "Flash! Flash! Hundred-yard dash! Doing some volunteer work?"

"Yes. The… brisk….pace of…the… DMV… isn't enough for…Pricilla and…my… speedy… lifestyles."

"Please stop talking!" the customer pleaded. "I've been waiting three hours!"

"The line's that long?" Nick asked.

"No! I'm the first customer!"

"Ouch. I better get going. Merry Christmas, Flash!"

Flash slowly looked up again. "Merry…. Christmas…to… you…too."

The customer was getting impatient. "Okay! Okay! Can you get back to.."

"And… A happy….new… year."

Everyone in line groaned.

Nick went back to Judy. "We're outta here."

"What's wrong?" Judy asked.

"Our current gift wrappers are Flash and Priscilla."

"Yeah. We're outta here. I'll call the Ottertons. We can probably wrap at their house."

"Where's Stu?"

"Dad went back inside to talk to Mom about something."

Meanwhile, in the store…

Stu was knocking on the dressing room door. "Bon-Bon! Why are you in the dressing room with that weasel?!"

"Well, he can't put his new undies on while wearing pawcuffs! Oh, goodness, Duke! I can see why Judy mistook that for a tail."

"Bonnie!"

"I'll be out in a moment! I need Judy to remove these cuffs if he's going to wear a nice shirt. What do you want?"

"I want to talk about Patches and his sisters."