AN: Bennett Bonding time.

This is basically just a lot of exposition.

Bonnie imagines a pointy hat and comically large wart on Lucy's face. She should zap her out of spite, but she doesn't and lets her laugh.

Even if it is at her expense.

Her cousin is cackling loudly, "It means, 'a hit dog will holler."

She'd asked for insight, The lady doth protest too much methinks has been ringing through her head since Nora first said it. She made the mistake of asking her cousin, thinking she'd receive help, only to be met with her amusement and shouting.

They're currently sitting on her couch, watching reruns of Living Single. Each month they pick a new show; last month they binged 227 and before that The Boondocks. It's simple, but it's a cute pastime and it's been a great bonding ritual. They usually end up talking about life, drinking, and laughing, sometimes they even practice spells when they feel up to it. Nora is out, knowing Bonnie appreciates her making herself scarce so she can bond with her last remaining family.

Well, at least the last remaining family she's willing to acknowledge. She's accepted Abbey will likely be a sore spot for the rest of her life.

Lucy is still laughing.

Though her shrill cackles have tapered off to soft giggles now. When she finally composes herself, she manages to get to her point, "That's what Shakespeare was saying, baby."

This guy again?

"It's from Hamlet," Lucy adds, rounding the island to come closer, "Queen Gertrude was referencing the over-acting in Hamlet's little play-within-a-play. You've fallen behind on your 17th-century lit; I shouldn't have to tell you that history is important, Bonnie."

Her voice is sterner, and she suddenly reminds Bonnie of Alaric, scolding her for not completing past-due assignments.

She's confused, "But it's fiction?"

"Fictional or not, life imitates art, art imitates life. It's a sort of magic unto itself, studying art and history and their links to magic is something most witches do as children. I know you didn't have any formal training, but that doesn't give you a pass for not knowing. It's up to you to make up for lost time. Plus, at least Shakespeare is interesting. You think his plays were dense? You should have seen ol' boy's Grimoires."

Wait...

"Shakespeare was a witch?"

She should have paid closer attention to Macbeth.

"Ummm...have you seen A Midsummer Night's Dream; you thought a mundane came up with that?"

She strokes Bonnie's arm gently and it feels distinctly motherly. Lucy is only older than her by a couple of years, but she easily plays the part. Falling into a maternal role to make up for something Bonnie never quite had.

"I won't explain the whole play to you, but here is the cliff notes version- the point is, arguing that hard works against you; if you didn't care you wouldn't be so bothered."

It's soothing and, despite how annoyed she is, she leans closer as Lucy continues, "You put up too much fuss, fought too hard- that's what gave you away. The more you protest the more it applies, get it?"

So, wasting her breath denying it was the mistake, she should have just stayed silent instead of griping so much. Her own mouth had made this mess.

Fucking Shakespeare.

"So, basically, what you're saying... is that because I said I don't like him...that means I do?"

Lucy rolls her eyes, and shifts so she's facing her younger cousin directly, "Be honest Bonnie," she levels, "You might be able to pull a fast one over your little local crew of perpetually self-involved supes, but you know that shit won't work on me, cuz. I can see you."

"I-"

Lucy stares at her in a way that says she already doesn't believe her, "Well? Out with it, fam, I'm waiting…"

Bonnie chews her lip like she's in a wrestling match with it. She continues not to speak as her fingers pull and knead the napkin in her hands. First Nora, now Lucy. Why is everyone dog piling her with this 'you have secret feelings for your archnemesis' shit? She doesn't.

Bonnie spends the next several seconds opening and closing her mouth before shrugging and tossing her hands in the air.

She's got nothing.

"Hmph, and Grams used to say I was stubborn. You know, it's not gonna hurt you to admit you feel something for him, Bonnie. No one else is here," she says, gesturing around them, "No one is going to hear you if you admit you find him attractive."

Perhaps she's being too pushy, she should know her cousin gets defensive when backed into a corner. Time for a different approach- Plan B: say the important stuff but keep it cute.

She leans back and nudges her shoulder against Bonnie's, "Trust me, I check my wards daily. There are no spies here," she even adds a wink for good measure.

"Not even Katherine?" Bonnie can't resist the cheap shot. Especially after being grilled for so long.

Lucy and Katherine had...some kind of a relationship. Bonnie knew there was a life debt between them, but it always felt like something else was going on. It was unclear what each meant to the other and seemed to bring Lucy her fair share of drama, as Katherine Pierce always did.

Even so, the pair of women seemed either unable or unwilling to part for very long. Bonnie long suspected the 'life debt' was the pretense for something more. They were perpetually off and on with...whatever it was they were doing. Though if Lucy's puckered face is any indication right now they are off. Her face had soured instantly, twisting up into a grimace as if she'd sucked a lemon.

Sometimes Lucy forgets how lethal her cousin can be, always knowing the perfect moment to go for the jugular, but it's not undeserved, so she'll let her have that one. She is going to keep the pressure on, though, she won't be deterred that easily.

"Stop trying to deflect and tell the truth."

And the truth is…

"I mean... I guess he's not totally awful all the time, and he does have nice eyes..."

"And..."

"And... he has seemed to calm down a lot since the merge…"

"And…"

"And he is really tall, and I guess he's patient, and-"

She goes on without having to be prompted. Good thing too. Lucy had no real game plan with this "and" thing, she came up with it off the top of her head, but she'll let it run as far as Bonnie will take it.

"And he does seem to be…fond of me..."

Fond of her? Pfft yeah, right.

She cuts it right there, "You hit dog you, I could have told you that a minute ago. That boy isn't just fond of you. Luka Martin is fond of you, Matt Donovan is fond of you; Kai Parker wants to worship you, Bonnie."

The junior witch only rolls her eyes and walks deeper into the kitchen to retrieve more snacks.

The only thing Kai wants from her is revenge. He probably agreed to the threesome as part of some ten-point plan to get back at her for abandoning him (and stabbing him, both times, tricking him, and leaving him as a personal Capris Sun for a bunch of heretics).

So what that he's always been slightly obsessed with her? It didn't mean anything; Klaus had been obsessed with Caroline and Damon was obsessed with Elena and that turned out…. shit.

Okay, those are just bad examples. Kai is nothing like Klaus or Damon…though he is also a homicidal, sexy, unhinged supernatural creature. He's also much older than he looks, just like Klaus and Damon, and hangs around Mystic Falls despite having no legitimate reason to.

Wait, did she say sexy?

Okay, so maybe it just so happens that he has a few things in common with the other undead bad boys she knows. That doesn't mean she's fated to have some intense romance with the warlock. How would that even work with Nora in the picture? She has no desire to split from her lover anytime soon.

It would be something to be loved by two people at once though. Nora and Kai are both so intense, all of that combined attention? It's hard enough for her to accept the love Nora so freely gives her already- any more would be too much.

She's getting ahead of herself, Malachai Parker doesn't love her- he barely even cares about her.

His wanting to have sex with her proves nothing. Up until some months ago, he'd been imprisoned in a magical twilight zone for almost two decades- he wants to fuck everything. What guy wouldn't jump at a chance for a threesome? He's just taking advantage of a unique opportunity.

As is she.

Adding him in is just going to be for some occasional fun. If she decides to agree to it, that is.

She and Nora will have a standby play partner and it'll probably give them a few months of thrill before fizzling off and being a nice memory for the three of them.

No harm no foul.

Thinking about Kai secretly being in love with her or concocting some elaborate nefarious scheme is only complicating things, this boy toy stuff is supposed to be chill.

She shakes her head as if the action will somehow organize her jumbled thoughts. It's really just meant to set her kind right, but Lucy mistakes the action as being directed at her.

"I'm serious, you know he told The Armory that he wouldn't go through with Gemini procession into Southern territory if it meant violating some old Gemini-Bennett treaty?"

"Wait, what?"

"Yea, he owes them big time, and they want the Gemini to indefinitely occupy some land here in Virginia where they can work with the Armory directly. Like right outside of Mystic Falls, but then he brought up some decades-old treaty between our covens no one knew about, or at least pretended not to."

The Gemini and her coven have a treaty? Since when? She knows their involvement goes back a bit, but she doesn't know anything about any treaty. Every day proves how her family's well-meaning attempt to shield her from magic only ended up screwing her over in the long run.

"The Armory wants more space out west, that's part of why they're working together. For years they've been trying to have a heavier presence out there, but every leader before has been too cagey to work with others, Kai was the first to even hear them out. You'd know that if you actually paid attention to the going's on of the magical world."

Kai is working with the Armory? On what?

If she had spidey senses they'd be tingling something fierce. This is the first she's hearing of this, and she's confused, it's a lot to process. Apparently, access to land is one part, but what's the other?

Lucy is telling her that Kai was basically given a pass by one of the world's most renowned, and secretive, magical authorities to set up a base in her hometown (which he'd pretty much already done) …and he told them he wanted to pass…because it would have been disrespectful to her coven…

Her coven that's not even active anymore because she and Lucy are the only living members...

The same coven whose matriarch had practically locked him in a cell and thrown away the key…

Something isn't adding up; what game is he playing at? She doesn't know what he's up to, but she knows he's up to something.

"I thought you said they wanted him to hang out here, last I checked he was staying somewhere near Whitmore, so what's the issue? They want him here and he is, am I missing something?"

"Well, that's why The Armory is pissed, they thought he fucked off back to Oregon after everything, but then they found out he's still hanging around."

"That doesn't make any sense, Luce, if Kai has something they want then he's probably just holding out on them because that's what he does. You said he owes them? Maybe he just wants to try to ignore his debts. He's not exactly what you'd call an honest person."

"Come on, he turned them down, Bon! Multiple times. Why do you think he's still here? He's the leader of the biggest coven on the west coast and the second biggest in the country, but he's ruling all the way from Virginia?"

Biggest what now?

"Uh...what coven? He killed them all that night at the wedding."

"Are you being serious?"

Lucy stares at her like she's watching a third eye blink open in the middle of her forehead, and Bonnie stares right back, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Really, why wouldn't she be? Last she heard or saw he was the ruler of a coven of one.

Lucy pauses for several moments, clearly mulling something over in her mind, perhaps even weighing what she should divulge and how much. In the end, her desire to share what she knows wins out, Bonnie can tell because her forehead scrunches in the way it always does before she tells a long story. She reaches for the wine and tries to prepare for whatever Lucy is about to tell her.

"Ahh, well funny story about that- there was a fail-safe. The Gemini are as crafty as they are secretive. In the event a coven leader should attempt to take their own life, power is transferred to the former leader whose life is then sacrificed to serve as a sort of incorporeal ascendant. It opens a path directly to a prison world where the souls are transported. Only the witches in the immediate area were incapacitated. The rest of the coven is temporarily unlinked then re-linked when the new leader is identified. Typically, the new leader is the next available twin from the leader's family, but since Kai technically didn't die die and Jo gave up her magic, leadership skipped Liv and went back to him when Joshua bit it. I don't know all the nitty-gritty details of it, to be honest; it's all very hush, hush. I only know what I do because I have a friend of a friend inside the armory."

Discovering that Bonnie was totally unaware of the armory playing babysitter for the Gemini doesn't come as much of a shock. She'd never been super involved in the supernatural world unless she was taking down a threat.

To say she was a late bloomer is an understatement, though it's not exactly her fault. Magic had been kept from her for so long, who could blame her? Still though, Bonnie is dating someone in the Gemini- she should have known about this, if only the gist.

One of Lucy's greatest skills has got to be how easily she's able to slip in and out of places unnoticed. She always has the most reliable intel because she's great at digging and she has the best inside sources.

Bonnie suspects that friend's name rhymes with Shmatherine Shmierce, but she decides not to pry.

She really wasn't prepared for all this talk of magic and semi-arcane spells and secret treaties, at this point, she just wants to get back to the show they're meant to be watching.

But, of course, there's more.

"It's called the Lacus Vitae, it literally means 'life transport' -complicated stuff. It's a very serious spell- only ever been pulled off once before. Word has it it was created after some leader back in the sixties went crazy post-merge and tried to immediately off himself when he found out he won instead of his twin."

That's some dark shit, even for the Gemini whose specialty is Dark Shit TM.

But wait- there's more.

"Anyway, Jo, her babies, all the rest, are alive on another plane, like some magical way station. Only his father is actually dead- it's the cost of the spell. The former leader dies to generate the power to transport them to the prison world. You need two lives to power the spell, technically one of them was Kai's mortal life."

This is all Magical mumbo jumbo. Bonnie rubs her temples and shuts her eyes, her head feels like it's throbbing and like magical brain goo is about to leak from her ears, "Translation, please."

Lucy sighs loudly before she directs a small smile at Bonnie, "Joshua's life opened a portal to a prison world. The coven members at the wedding that 'died' were transported there, all the others are still surviving and still linked to Kai."

"But...their bodies? I- I saw them?" Bonnie can remember vividly seeing Gemini bodies strewn across the wedding hall, the floor was littered with them. It was mayhem. The destruction in the room compared only to the carnage. Cadavers lay tossed over furniture and every visible piece of floor space, it's not the kind of mental image one forgets.

"Jeez, you weren't kidding about not knowing. Okay well- they're all being kept at the Armory while he works on the spell to free them, which is called the Navem Onerariam Mundi Vita- also very complicated stuff, more complicated than the initial spell by far. Their injuries have been treated and the armory has teams monitoring them round the clock providing care. Why do you think he owes them so big? When they thought he'd gone back to Portland they were upset, but they accepted it. How do you think they felt to find out he's just been kicking rocks out here while deliberately ignoring them and basically flipping them the bird while they take care of the eighty or so half dead witches he's supposed to be responsible for?"

"So then he is here for his coven."

A tinge of something pangs in her chest which only adds to the confusion in her head. Why should she feel disappointed? She's got nothing to be upset over, she wants nothing to do with Kai, she hates him, doesn't she?

"Bonnie, that boy has never cared about those people a day in his life. He's probably only resurrecting them so he actually has people to rule. It's not like the coven members are going anywhere. Shit, I think he's dragging his feet on purpose in letting them out to teach them some lesson. Reformed identity or not, he is not staying here for people he spent his whole life hating."

Bonnie knows all about how much Kai hates his coven, she only had to listen to him rant about it day-in and day-out for months on end in the prison world. It's funny though, the entire thing is pretty ironic, she's not so invested in moral binaries that that's lost on her.

Lucy takes a long sip of her wine and shuffles the cheese and nuts on the plate in front of her, "Anyway, long story short, when your man crush Monday made a big deal about not wanting to proceed, everyone thought it was just about not wanting to get involved in an unfamiliar place as a new leader. But now they know he's still here and they are beyond pissed. They scratched his back and he's not returning the favor. The only reason they aren't making a bigger deal about this is because he's still the only thing standing in the way of their westward expansion and they want to stay on his good side. I think they're hoping he'll change his mind when the dust settles."

"Whatever, the way I see it, this has nothing to do with me. He's keeping tabs on his coven because he's the coven leader. Whoopty-freakin-doo."

"Bonnie, you may have been born at night, but you weren't born last night- that boy is here for you. Waiting around for what, I don't know, but he's not here to protect the east coast. Just the most stubborn witch here," she mumbles.

"I heard that."

"Hmmm? Listen, all I'm saying is you've got the magical world's successful, new hotshot coven leader-"

"You forgot to mention homicidal," Bonnie interjects.

"Right, because you don't know anyone else who has killed before," the older witch's eyes are at risk of rolling into her skull.

"My friends-" she gets ready to defend, but Lucy keeps going.

"Your friends have killed innocent people; they've used them, manipulated them, and harmed them, and that's just this week."

As much as she might want to deny it, she can't. How much destruction and devastation has Elena caused or inspired, alone? That's not even counting Damon.

"You've always been willing to excuse the people around you, Bonnie, even when you know they're wrong. I understand Kai hurt you, and if you don't want shit to do with them then I get it and I support it, but I just don't think that's what it is. I think you want to be upset with him because you need an outlet. I think you feel more than what you let on and it pisses you off because you want to hate him, but you don't. It eats you up that you can't sort your shit out, which only makes you 'hate' him more. Sound about right?"

"Sound about right?" She mocks whinily, but Lucy ignores her childishness.

"Which is all the more reason you should participate in this little arrangement if you ask me. Fuck him and teach his sexy alabaster ass a lesson."

"Lucy!"

She shrugs, "What? He's a fine-ass white boy! I'm just saying, tap that, or I will."

"He's not even your type!"

At first, Lucy's comments didn't faze her, but now they're finding their mark. Which is weird, what does she care whether Lucy tries her luck with Kai or not? More power to her.

But even as she thinks it her stomach starts to turn, and her chest starts to get tight. Thinking about Lucy and Kai together is doing something to her, and it's not just because Lucy is her cousin.

"He's everyone's type, Bonnie. He's 6'4 with great hands and the power of an entire coven at his fingertips. Plus, he really pulls off that whole Peter Pan lumberjack thing he has going on."

It's a surprisingly apt description.

Kai has always had a sort of boyish charm about him, now that he's sporting some facial hair the combined effect is more appealing than she likes to acknowledge.

Bonnie grumbles, the idea doesn't sit well with her, but it was denial that got her jammed up in the first place. If she's learned anything from all this it's to say less and play it cool, "Fine, take him if you want him so bad."

"Don't tempt me. Looks like he's packing- I know he keeps that thang on him. Have you seen how he walks? Probably black from the waist down."

"Oh. My God. Bitch, what is wrong with you?"

"Probably be walking all funny for a week after- 'Ohhh Kai, your big monster dick rearranged my guts, can you make me a healing potion?"

"I can't stand your ass and I can make my own healing potions thank you very much."

"Oh, please you love me, and you know I haven't been broken off in a minute, I could use it- do you think he likes Bennett's in general or only you? Should I try my luck?"

There's something more, she feels a sort of...festering feeling as she listens. The idea of Kai with someone else...

That can't be right.

No way could she be feeling jealous over the man she hates. She's got a girlfriend for crying out loud! A girlfriend she's madly in love with. Kai is free to be with whoever he wants, and to do whatever (orwhoever) he pleases.

So why does the thought of him with someone else make her blood feel like it's been replaced with acid and her hair feel like it's turned to flames?

"Shut the hell up, Luce," she tries to sound casual and unaffected, but it comes out with as much bite as it does ease.

Lucy only tsks, "The hit dog doth protest too much, methinks!"

Before she can help it, Bonnie's magic flares out, hitting her cousin in the jaw. It's only a flash spell, it lacks punch and stuns both of them more than anything.

"Now girl, I know you didn't just hex me."

"I'm sorry Lucy, I don't even know what happened, that was an accident! Are you okay?" She hasn't had magical slip-ups like that since she was a teenager first navigating the craft. It's embarrassing to have lost control of herself and over Kai Parker no less, who she definitely, absolutely, positively, does not have feelings for!

"Ha! See? Proof positive! You can lie all you like but the heart wants what it wants!"

"What? No- I must be tired, I didn't mean it, I just-"

"Yes, you did! And that's okay, I'm just glad you're being honest, even if your magic is ready to admit it before you are. You remember what Grams used to say? 'Magic speaks the mind, child-'"

They speak the next part in unison, "it knows what's on your heart, it knows what's in your soul."

Sheila's words are as comforting as they are topical. It's hard to admit, but this little slip-up doesn't help her case. What the hell was she doing? Attacking her cousin? Over a guy? It wasn't like her.

Luckily, it must not have had any significant impact because Lucy is back to cackling, louder than she had before, but still, "Don't laugh, this isn't funny! What's wrong with me?"

"I mean, it is kinda funny," She doesn't even pretend to feel bad for laughing in her face. Lucy can't help it, it's cute to see Bonnie so frazzled.

Her constant attempts to deny her crush on the warlock who's not-so-secretly devoted to her is by far the least stressful thing life has thrown her way, even if Bonnie can't quite see that. It's nice to know she's worked up over normal young adult situations instead of the normal chaos she's always up against. Hopefully, she realizes this sooner rather than later, and stops letting it get to her.

"Ha, ha, ha, har-de-har, go ahead and laugh it up. Keep on and I'll call Kathy. You think Nora is her type? You know I love a good threesome; think she'll pick up?"

That gets her to shut up.

"Want the number? I'll call her myself; I don't care."

"Somehow I doubt that."

"Believe it or don't, I do not want to talk about Katherine."

"Oh, so we can talk about my love life, but yours is off-limits? How's that fair?"

"Fares are for tourists, kid. What are you gonna do about it, anyway Bon? Hex me again?" She smiles and Bonnie temporarily sinks into her chair in shame.

Lucy is fine, the spell didn't even leave a mark, but she's still confused and upset over what happened. Hexing her relative by mistake doesn't exactly inspire a lot of confidence. Accidents like that don't happen to her. She's a seasoned witch now, even if she doesn't practice as much as she should, if her magic is acting up then it's a sign of something deeper.

She knows as she tries to drift off to sleep later her mind will be frantic with thoughts as to what this might all mean. Fortunately, there is plenty of booze on hand to delay that inevitable shit storm until at least tomorrow morning, midday if she overdoes it.

"Next time I'm ghosting you and hanging with Jaime, now pass the wine," she grumbles.

Lucy grabs the neck of the Moscato with one hand, and Merlot with the other, raising them both up silently until Bonnie nods towards the white, "Oh, are you two talking?" She asks refilling Bonnie's wine glass generously before passing the bottle.

"Yea, we're trying to build a better relationship, it's just hard, you know?"

"I know, but it's good you're making the effort. If you need backup, I'm always here for you. The three of us could check out the Air and Space Museum, it's not that far. Does Jaime still like that stuff, he went to school for aerospace engineering, right?"

"He did and yea that'd be nice, I'll let you know."

For all their bickering it really is all love between the pair. Having familial support, even if it's only one person, means more than Bonnie can say. Lucy offering to accompany her to visit Jaime almost makes her choke up.

There are so many emotions roiling through her Bonnie has to hold onto the edge of the counter from the whiplash. She's dizzy and she knows it's not because of the wine she's been sipping.

She has half a mind to make up an excuse and call Nora home early but decides not to. After all, what's a little stress? She's taken on bad guys the likes of which most people cannot fathom, and had been since she was a teenager, she can handle a few confusing feelings.

For now, there is family time and she's going to enjoy it, or at least she's going to try.

She grabs the bottle and a sleeve of crackers before standing and turning toward the sofa, the sooner she gets off her feet the better.

Lucy makes grabby hands like a toddler as she reaches for the wine she just handed off, "Gimmie."

She tops off her glass and makes her way to the couch, DoorDash is already open on her phone as she plops down on the couch next to Bonnie, who is setting up the next episode, "Finally, we can move onto the important stuff-" she says holding out her phone for Bonnie to take, "Thai? Or Mexican?"

AN: This chap just tumbled out of me; I don't regret it though, I really like Bonnie having a support system and family who care about her. Lucy Bonnie bonding time FTW.

Are Lucy and Katherine really a thing? Who knows, but it's fun to think about- it's my fic and I'll make everyone gay if I want to.

Lol, I promise this fic is gonna be sexy...it just may, uh, take us a sec to get there...

AN2: Please share what you think or feel, even if it's just a few words. It really perks me up and makes me feel affirmed to get reviews, otherwise it kinda feels like talkin to an empty room, ya know? Anyway, that's enough vulnerability for today, hope y'all babes are doing well!