New Year's Resolutions*

It was a new year. A time that many saw for second chances, a time to reflect on one's choices and to make changes for the better. Todd entered Marty's room, she had been awake since Christmas, but she had been on a ventilator and hadn't had a chance to speak to him. That had been removed and now was his chance to speak to her about the changes they both had to make.

"Happy New Year," he said to her as he sat by her side.

"Happy New Year Todd," she replied.

"We need to talk about our resolutions Marty. I'll go first. I know about your Lupus, I know that every time you drink you play Russian Roulette with your life, that is going to stop."

"It's none of your business," Marty stated defensively.

"That's where we disagree. It's my business if you are drinking yourself into an early grave because of what I did to you."

"I was drinking before I even met you, so you can let yourself off the hook. Not everything I do is a reaction to you."

"I know, you've probably been Marty the Party girl long before you met me."

Marty flinched at the reminder of the nickname that he had given her. He hated saying it cause he knew that he would hurt her, but he had to get her attention.

"That about sums it up, now get out," she shouted.

"I will when I'm done with you, but I have more to say and you're going to listen. You say that you're not reacting to me, but can you honestly tell me that your actions since May, haven't had anything to do with me, or what I did to you at the Spring Fling? Can you tell me that your drinking yourself into a coma, my finding you passed out in the back of Rodi's had nothing to do with me?"

"No, I can't. Is that what you want to hear? Do you want to hear about how every single thought of mine is consumed with you. I can sleep now without nightmares thanks to you, but that didn't get rid of the fear. I'm afraid of what you're capable of in your darkest hours. I'm afraid of what I'm capable of in my darkest hours. You and I are the same, you left your hatred and your self loathing in me the night that you raped me and it's eating me alive. So yeah, I drink, and I could die because of it, but so what, who cares if I die anyways? It's got to be better than the life you left me with."

"So what? Who cares? What about Vicki? Don't you think that she would care watching you die from Lupus like her daughter Megan? What about your friends, Kevin, Andrew and Jason? I think that they would all care if you died because you were too selfish to change. Then there's me who wouldn't survive losing you. I would sure as hell care if you died. I made a deal with God and I intend to see it through. I promised him that I was done letting you suffer for my sins and I meant it. I'm going to help you recover Marty. You will never pick up another bottle as a reaction to what I did again. I am through watching you suffer. It's a new year so I promise that I'll do whatever you need to recover even if I have to turn myself in."

"You would do that?"

"I would do anything to take away your pain. So just say the word and I'll do it."

"No, I don't want you to turn yourself in. I know you're right and I've been selfish. There are too many people who would be devastated if I died. I just...I just want the pain, fear and hatred to go away."

"I know. What do you need to make that happen?" Todd asked.

"I need therapy. I have PTSD and it's not going away on it's own. I need help," Marty whispered as tears began to fall.

"Then we'll get you help," Todd promised as he took her hand.